The Origins of Haruhi
by Rai Shu
Summary: A few alternative story lines, based on underlying time planes.
1. On the Road to Findout

The Origins of Haruhi - Harlequin and the Eye In the Sky

- x -

by Haruhi Suzumiya and the SOS Brigade

Important note: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual people or places in this story is purely coincidental.

Author's notes: Please be aware that there was no actual author. Any resemblance of this story to existing stories is purely coincidental.

- x -

- Foreword

It isn't quite clear to me when "Origins" was written, and I'm not even sure the word "when" is the proper way to describe it. Nevertheless, it seems like something that was written about twenty years in the future. Imagine if I had never met Haruhi Suzumiya or anyone else (except for some ordinary friends, of course). Don't get carried away, though, since this is just me we're talking about. I can never seem to experience anything significant in my life without it being related to Haruhi, and this depressing thought is made all the more relentless by this work that I apparently wrote.

In the course of this work, I describe a certain encounter with aliens, unaware that aliens even existed or that the name Haruhi Suzumiya should mean anything, let alone someone who should rightfully be avoided at all costs. This account contains no mention of Mikuru Asahina and only a couple vague references to a person I assume is Itsuki Koizumi. From this, I have been left to infer that the word "origins" refers to that time plane from which the original Mikuru Asahina had come, and thus I was doomed to never see her. She wouldn't even exist until the future wherein she does appear, by which time I would long be dead. You see, Mikuru Asahina can never make lasting changes to the past without creating a paradox, which in turn creates a kind of whole new world. I've been told that she isn't the only one who can do this, but I highly doubt my reality has been shaped this way by anyone else.

The old worlds would be lost to us except for a concept known only to me as "synchronization." This refers to the process whereby the universe somehow merges time planes and makes that information available to the next time plane. However, this information generally gets lost in one's subconscious and is thus lost forever. Yuki Nagato, however, does not have the ability to abandon all this information in her subconscious. I'm not even sure whether she has a subconscious, but I digress. The point is, Yuki Nagato can remember all this as clearly as I can remember the events of my own time plane, and thus this work has come into my hands. In fact, she literally placed this volume into my hands, told me abruptly to read it, and quickly walked away. I eventually took this unusual tome and obeyed her request.

Despite how unpromising this premise is, I have to admit that I turned out to be an unusually nice person, filled with merit and determination. I was simply thrust into unpleasant circumstances, and I nevertheless proved my capacity to make for myself a sound policy of calmness and restraint. I think this is the message Yuki was trying to send to me. Or rather, I hope this is what she intends. I can't help but feel a certain regret at how my own life is turning out, but then my own life is already far more promising than this original. I guess I might owe some thanks to Haruhi for that, but I think I'll take my time in doing that. There's really no telling what her reaction to this story would be, although I'm willing to bet it would be something very unpleasant.

Anyone seeking enlightenment regarding the nature of the future should keep in mind that this is really just a kind of potential future. Since Miss Asahina has already changed the future (and since I do a pretty lousy job of keeping up with things in general), you would only be searching in vain for significant details. So, don't bother thinking you can corner the stock market or something. I'd have already found that information and removed it from this version for myself, if that information did exist. This is nothing more than my attempt to set to rest some troubling questions people might have to the best of my ability. After you have encountered this work for yourself, I leave it to you to form your own opinions regarding the worth of this story.

- x -

- Chapter 1: On the Road to Findout

The question of whether a person deserves a normal life is so stupid, it isn't even a topic suitable for idle conversation. It simply goes without saying that everyone should have a job, a hobby, and a home of their own. Nevertheless, I found myself walking down the street one day, completely bereft of all three of those things, and I realized with some wry amusement that I could just vanish from the world like I had never existed. I could just take these essentials I was hauling around and go anywhere. And why not? It's not like there was anything to hold me back.

Yeah, right.

Of course, the only reason I was heading anywhere was because I would be starting up my new job in a couple days. Along with that, I was venturing toward my new home, excitedly anticipating what kind of new hobbies I might experience. There's always that thrill of the promise of a new adventure with this kind of change, and the world itself had become obsessed with the idea of exciting changes. It's a little sad when you think about the world you're leaving behind, but along with those goodbyes would soon come some hellos.

I feel it's important to mention that a person should also have a job that agrees with them. For someone to be stuck in a life that they hate is probably the worst tragedy I can imagine. I used to think that being hated was really the worst fate a person could have, but then I began to wonder what it might be like to be cherished and favored all the time. If your every craving could be satisfied and your every aversion avoided, wouldn't that be just as horrendous? It's a very bizarre thought for someone raised the way I was, but then I've never been comfortable with simply accepting the things people have always taught me.

Now, I'm not saying that we should avoid the path to Nirvana. I'm just saying that there are those for whom such a life might be considered tragic, simply because it doesn't really agree with them. And, quite honestly, I think I may be one of those people. The thing is, I don't recall ever living in a way that made me seem altogether comfortable, so perhaps I should just chalk this up to luck, or maybe I was just an especially righteous person in a previous life. Then again, the thought of reincarnation is a terrifying thing for me, so perhaps I should just call it luck.

Speaking of luck, as I began eating a prepackaged tuna snack for my breakfast, I noticed a cat go flying out the window of a passing car. It landed, as all cats invariably do, on all fours. The laws of physics, however, commanded that the cat go tumbling, and I watched in profound astonishment as all this occurred.

"Whoa! What the hell?" I said, briefly wondering whether I was hallucinating.

I raced over to where the cat had stopped rolling, and I carefully observed whether it could move on its own. I'd hate the thought of it becoming paralyzed by my clumsy ministrations, but I really had nothing to worry about. This was one incredibly lucky cat. In addition to having survived a brush with death, it was also one of those rare male calico (or tricolor) cats.

"Are you okay, there?" I asked it. "I don't suppose you just used up one of your nine lives, huh?"

I slowly picked it up and began to pet it, mindful of how a strange cat might react to me.

"Heh," I added. "Look at me. Talking to a cat. You weren't hurt, were you?" I then shook its paw and greeted it. "Nice to meet you, pal. Hey, this is the first time I've picked up a strange cat and not had my arm half ripped off."

The cat then jumped from my arms and went straight to the container of tuna that I had left on the ground. Apparently, it was too hungry to claw me up the way an ordinary strange cat might. I briefly had the uncomfortable thought that maybe it had only jumped out the window because of my snack, but then I realized that the car in question had not turned around and come back, so maybe this cat was actually thrown out. I felt sorry for the poor thing and decided to take it with me.

- x -

As I crossed a bridge leading toward my new home, I was just beginning to think that I had found a new friend in this cat when I suddenly noticed this figure in a strikingly familiar outfit up ahead of me. It was familiar because I had seen it on the news from time to time over the past five years.

Before me stood this masked woman wearing a cap not unlike what Santa Claus might wear and an outfit covered in red and white diamond patterns. You don't just overlook a figure like this, especially in a world where people make a huge effort to outdo each other with wearing outfits less unusual than others.

"Hey..." I said. "Don't I know you?"

"Unlikely," she replied, and I was forced to agree.

"No," I clarified, "you're the Harlequin, right? I've heard of you."

"That's possible," she admitted.

The cat then jumped from the top of my rolling baggage and raced toward this figure.

"Hey!" I called out.

"It's okay," the figure assured me.

The figure then took off her mask and picked up the cat. It seemed bizarre for a moment that this cat I had just seen thrown out a car window had also known this famous woman. I then told myself that this was just one of those odd coincidences that only ever happen in real life.

"Did you feed him?" the figure asked me, and I was a little surprised to note how flat and monotone her voice sounded, even without the mask.

"Huh?" I said, briefly confused by the lack of tonal inflection. "Oh, yeah. I did."

"Thanks," she answered.

"You're welcome," I added.

This talk of food reminded me that I was still a bit hungry myself, so I began to think of how fortunate I was that I would soon be at my new home. I would then deposit this baggage and go find myself a real breakfast.

"How did you find him?" the figure then asked.

"Well," I answered, not really thinking, "I was just walking down the road here, and this jerk throws the little guy out a car window. I'm a little surprised he didn't break a leg or something."

"You observed him being thrown from a car?" she asked me.

"Yeah," I answered, then wondering whether the car's driver had even noticed the cat was gone. "Well, I didn't exactly see him being thrown, but he did come flying out a window. I suppose he could have jumped, but..."

My mind was completely muddled at that point, and the woman looked at me with an oddly puzzled expression like she was trying to read my thoughts.

"I know this is going to sound weird," I said, my heart suddenly in my throat, "but I'd just like to tell you that I'm a big fan."

"Of the Harlequin?" she asked.

"Yeah..." I answered, thinking how strange it was to suddenly equate this mysterious figure with a woman having an attractive but otherwise ordinary-looking face. "Well, I guess I admire your reputation and the work you do."

"You approve of the chaos I create?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered, very sincerely. "I mean, I admire how you do it with such a flair. I also admire how you don't really put anyone at risk."

Images of her on TV sprang to mind. I recalled with some amusement the Harlequin terrifying the phony brave, stealing rare items from the absurdly wealthy, confronting a few famous people with the lies that they themselves had spread. Harlequin's gift for poetic justice was both wonderful and amazing to me, and I was truly at a loss for words other than these.

"I suppose you get people telling you that all the time," I added.

"No, actually," she replied. "I am mostly hated."

"Really?" I wondered. It seemed odd that she would insist this, especially considering that we were standing on a sidewalk to a bridge in the middle of some light morning traffic. Surely, if she was so hated, someone would stop or make some kind of angry protest. Of course, no one was yelling out encouragements, either.

She continued, "Have you not seen the demonstrations wherever I am most noted and my actions witnessed?"

"Oh," I replied, "you mean that deviancy amplification spiral the media likes to feed? I don't pay any attention to that kind of thing."

"Okay," she acknowledged.

I have a very critical eye when it comes to the news, and I don't assume that what anyone reports is the unvarnished truth. The mere fact that the media seemed to hate her was something that I took for proof that she was truly heroic.

"Anyway," I added, finally gathering my senses, "nice to meet you."

"Likewise," she replied.

"Is that little guy yours?" I asked.

"Indeed," she answered.

"Oh, great," I said sincerely, but also starting to babble. "Isn't that great? I mean, a touching reunion. Sort of..."

There was then this long, awkward moment that was like a bubble getting ready to burst. I then noticed the strain on the woman's face when she looked at the cat, followed by moments of relief. She would then look tense again, but then she would relax. Seeing this made me realize that she was the cat's owner, and that she had endured some painful distress over the little guy. It made me glad for my weird luck, which had brought everyone back to where they belonged.

"I suppose I'll be on my way," I said, glad to have this pleasant mood to continue my day with.

As I passed by, the woman held out the cat to me, and said, "Here."

"You want me to take him?" I asked, turning to look at her face, but she had turned away.

"Yes," she replied.

"Okay," I said, taking the cat back and briefly petting it. I then set him down on top of the baggage, and I was a little surprised to notice how he now seemed content to lay there.

"It's Yuki Nagato," the woman added.

"What?" I asked, wondering what she'd meant by that.

"My name," she softly replied.

"Oh?" I said. "Okay."

I then had a brief thought that I had never met anyone with a prettier sounding name than that, and I felt a sudden urge to tell her something.

"By the way," I said, "I'm..." I wanted to tell her my name, but she had vanished like the wind.

- x -

Shortly afterward, I came to my new residence. It was somewhat humble, but really about the most you can expect when living so close to the city for a fairly reasonable rental rate. It was a standard, two-story apartment building with three apartments on each floor. The doors were numbered, and a typical mailbox hung on the wall next to a typical outside staircase. My apartment was "202," so that meant that my place was the one on the second floor in the middle. I consoled myself with thinking that at least this apartment was only a couple blocks away from where I would work, which was practically like winning the grand prize in a lottery.

I was a little surprised to note that no one had name plates on their doors, but then that wasn't exactly all that unusual. It's not like you really need them. I also noticed the simple doorknobs, sans deadbolts, and I wondered briefly how safe these apartments were. I'm not obsessed with security, so I just shrugged and made my way to my own door. I tried out the key, was satisfied that it worked, and I entered my new apartment, with the cat still lying on my baggage.

"Well," I said to the cat, "here's our new home."

I'd seen pictures of this place on the internet site where I'd discovered it, but those didn't really do it justice. For all its humble simplicity, it had an understated air of space. Something about it just made it feel like it was larger on the inside than it appeared on the outside. Maybe it was just from the emptiness of the place, but I don't think so. I picked up my cat and put him gently on the floor, petting him again to make sure he wouldn't run away.

"Okay," I added. "Be a good cat or I'll drop you in the trash chute."

I looked around again and took in the layout of the place. A small foyer for leaving my shoes at the door directly led into a small kitchen area. A space for a fridge, a counter top, and a sink led into an oven/range. After that was a door leading to the bathroom. Beyond the door and this front hall was the main living space, and around the corner was where I would place my bed, among other things. This was a pretty typical setup, and it felt reassuring to have everything right where I assumed it should be. A moment later, I noticed a beautiful woman knocking at my still-open door.

"Hello?" she said, her voice like a ray of sunshine through dark clouds. It sounds cheesy, but I can't think of a better way to describe it.

"Oh, hello," I answered, delighted to see such a beautiful woman.

She took out a small box of snacks and handed them to me, as befitted my image of such a beautiful woman, if she was indeed my neighbor. This was just the standard, customary greeting you should get in Japan. Could my luck get any better?

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," she added.

"Hope you don't mind me bringing in a cat," I said, smiling like a madman.

"Oh, that's quite all right," she softly dismissed my trivial concern.

"Sorry," I said, getting a little irritated with myself, "I'm being rude. I'm your new neighbor."

"Yes," she answered, "I've heard all about you."

"Oh, okay," I said. "So, no introductions are necessary?"

I briefly worried when she said, "That's right," but then she smoothly added, "I'm Ryoko Asakura."

I laughed and playfully stated, "Just the way I like it. Keep it casual."

"I agree," she answered.

I then noticed with some annoyance that I can never seem to just introduce myself properly to people. I put down the box on the counter and had another good look at this woman, noting her name. Ryoko Asakura. She struck me as a woman in her mid-twenties, very nicely shaped and beautifully proportioned. Her face struck me as the kind that just naturally gravitated toward smiling and very playfully amusing herself when even the most terrible things might be happening. Speaking to her, I got the impression that even if she were addressing someone else, you might mistakenly believe that she was really addressing you, personally. It all sent a warning signal to my mind that I mentally shoved as far back as I could.

"Nice to meet you," I started, extending my hand and fully intending to follow up by telling her my name.

"Likewise," she answered, gently shaking my hand. This answer threw me for a bit of a loop.

"That sounds familiar," I muttered.

"I know," she told me. "That's just what Miss Nagato said to you when you greeted her."

"So, you know her?" I asked, suddenly baffled.

"That's right," she said, very smoothly. "And I know all about the fact that she's really Harlequin and all that, so don't bother trying to keep it secret, okay?"

"Okay," I said. "Just seemed like a funny coincidence."

"I mean," she added, "don't go to any trouble on my account."

"All right," I answered, now fully convinced that I might never introduce myself properly. I sighed and turned my thoughts toward breakfast, thinking briefly about Yuki Nagato and the odd way that she had suddenly disappeared on me.

"Anyway," Ryoko said, "it's been nice meeting you. I hope we'll become good friends some day."

"Thanks," I answered. "Yeah, I hope so, too."

She began to leave, and I was just starting to think again about what to do with my cat when Ryoko returned with a concerned expression on her face.

"I hope this doesn't sound impertinent," she said, "but you really should keep your door closed and locked."

"Should I?"

"Yes."

"What? Do we have trouble with burglars around here?"

"Well... It isn't so much the burglars that cause the trouble, so much as..."

She looked away, seemingly embarrassed, and I wondered briefly what she meant by all this.

"Huh?" I said. Then I guessed, "Oh, you have rowdy neighbors up here?"

"I guess you could call it that," she replied softly.

"I don't care about things like that," I firmly answered her.

"Oh, okay," she added, still looking grave and uncertain.

I added, "I have an open door policy when it comes to my neighbors, no matter how rough and tumble they may be."

"Just thought I should warn you," she explained, "because one neighbor in particular..."

"Who?" I immediately asked.

"Nothing," she insisted, strangely. She looked up and stiffly smiled while saying, "Well, I'll leave you to your unpacking. I'm sure you have a lot of stuff to take care of."

"Wait a second," I said.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Who exactly were you referring to?" I asked, not really liking the way this conversation was heading. I don't really think it's a good idea to live near someone and not know if they're going to prove to be a problem.

"I'm afraid it would be terribly rude of me to tell you," she answered, sounding very apologetic.

"Oh, come on," I casually complained. "You can't just tell me to lock my door and then not tell me why. Which apartment is it?"

I went outside in my socks and looked around. Since she was glancing that way, I assumed she meant that the trouble-maker lived that direction.

"Is it this one?" I asked her, gesturing toward apartment "203."

"That one is mine," she softly corrected me.

I then pointed the other way, and began immediately going to that apartment.

"So, this one," I said.

"No, wait!" she said, starting to panic.

I knocked on the door and firmly asked, "Hello?"

There was no answer. Only a thick blanket of silence ensued, while I waited and Ryoko fretted.

She finally worked up the courage to say, "You really should be careful with this apartment. This is the one Miss Suzumiya lives in."

"Who?" I asked.

"Don't tell me you've never heard of Haruhi Suzumiya," she said, as if astonished.

"Should I have?" I asked.

I then knocked on the door again, and shouted, "Hey! Anyone in there?"

"No!" Ryoko softly exclaimed, tugging on my arm and frantically grimacing at me.

"What?" I said.

"Just trust me," she answered. "Okay?"

"Really?" I asked, wondering just how bad this Suzumiya person could be.

"Really," Ryoko replied. "You don't want to wake her."

"She's asleep?" I complained. "At this time of day?"

"She's a writer," Ryoko explained, "and a very cranky one. She's notoriously unkind to strangers."

"A writer, huh?" I wondered, thinking on my book collection and the many authors I knew of. "How come I haven't heard of her?"

"Should you have?" she casually asked.

"Of course," I boasted. "I know all the best sci-fi writers and most of the best writers of all the other genres."

Ryoko then slowly smiled, then scowled at herself.

"Okay," I said, realizing. "I guess I just answered my own question."

"Keep your key, too," she added.

"Why?" I asked.

She looked exasperated and sighed, saying, "You might need it. I mean, unless you don't mind climbing into your apartment through a window."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I wondered, puzzling over how those two concepts were related.

"Well," she said, "I'll see you later."

She then went back to her own apartment, and she immediately closed her door behind her. I imagined her locking her door behind her, and I briefly wondered what it all meant. My cat then followed me and looked up in expectation.

"I guess she's a bit of a wallflower," I told the cat, not really sure I believed it.

- x -

I was in a damn good mood that morning. I had a new life, a new home, and I was looking forward to a new grind. In the meantime, I had met the actual Harlequin in person and had almost instantly solidified my crush on her. Then I had met a very friendly, beautiful woman who conveniently lived next door to me. Even if that other neighbor was Genghis Khan, I think I would have still had a lightness and a spring in my step. I went from shop to shop making various reservations, and found myself at a coffee shop having lunch with an old friend. It was just Taniguchi, but then nobody said life was perfect. Taniguchi is just this guy I used to know in high school that I can never seem to get away from.

"I know this is a bit sudden," I said, "but do you happen to know a writer named Haruhi Suzumiya?"

"Yeah," he answered. "Why do you ask?"

"I heard that name recently," I explained, "and I just thought I'd ask."

"You into the occult, now?" he wondered.

"No," I replied. "I just wondered if her stuff was worth reading. Does she have a reputation? That kind of thing."

He smiled fiendishly and said, "Oh, she has a reputation, all right." He then took out his cell phone and started pushing some buttons on it. "You have that reader app?" he then asked.

"Huh?" I asked, slowly realizing that he meant on my phone. "Oh, right. I keep forgetting I upgraded recently."

My relatively simple cell phone had a lot of hidden features. This is one of the odd quirks of living in the information age. Even simple things get fairly complicated in a hurry.

"I'll give you a copy of her latest series of masterpieces," he added. "It'll save you the embarrassment of being seen buying one those damn things."

I took out my cell phone and fussed with it for a few moments, but I just couldn't seem to find the mode for this kind of direct file transfer.

"Damn it," I said, going around and around through a list of options.

"Here," he offered, "let me do that for you."

I handed over my phone, saying, "Okay, sure."

Taniguchi then spent a few moments pushing some buttons on my phone, waited another moment, then handed my phone back to me.

"Enjoy," he said sarcastically, as he put away his phone.

"I didn't know you were into pirating e-books," I mused.

"I'm not," he stated. "Those are scans. No one's crazy enough to even bother OCR-ing them."

"Scans?" I said, putting away my phone. "You gotta be kidding me."

Reading e-books on my cell phone would have been hard enough. No way would I be able to read a scan. This just meant more hassle, transferring these files to my laptop before I could read them.

"Good luck finding a hard copy," he said. "Those damn things can never stay in stock."

"Why?" I asked. "Is she any good?"

"Oh, hell no," he answered. "She's horrible. She's so bad, she has a cult following for just the books. Those guys are nuts, too. They buy every hard copy of those books they see. Thankfully, they don't print too many."

"How did you get a copy?" I asked.

"I have my sources," he replied. "Anyway, her books suck. I'm just giving you fair warning."

I chuckled and then asked, "How bad could it be?"

"What?" he asked. "You suddenly develop a taste for bad literature?"

"No," I answered. "Actually, she lives next door to me. We haven't met, so I was wondering how impressed I should be with her work."

"Oh," he said, "so you moved today?"

"Yeah," I replied. "I got my first load of essentials. I need to haul some more stuff."

"I see. So, this is what you wanted to talk about."

"I don't suppose you mind if we use your truck?"

"Sure, but you'll have to pay the standard rate."

"Sheesh."

So much for friendship. Oh well. I can't expect Taniguchi, of all people, to do anything for free. I'm surprised he didn't charge me for the scans.

"Hey," he said, "I gotta make a living."

"What's your interest in Suzumiya?" I wondered.

"Well..." he answered, taking a few moments to think. "I knew her way back when. It's kind of a sentimental thing."

"You went to school with her?"

"Middle school."

"So, she's an old flame?"

"No way. She's a total weirdo. She was pretty notorious, even back then."

Now, he had my attention. I have a keen interest in weird women. I might not have liked admitting it back in high school, but this subject was something I constantly thought about, lately. Well, actually... I've had a serious affection for strange women for the past ten years or so.

"How so?" I asked.

"One time," he explained, "she drew some weird stuff on the school field with that chalk thing... You know?"

"Chalk thing?" I asked.

"You know?" he said, "That thing you use to draw the lines. Anyway, she made some crazy doodle or something. I don't know, but it made all the local papers."

"How do you know she did it?" I wondered.

"Cause she totally admitted it," he answered, smoothly. "And that was just one little thing."

"So, you kept up with her writing?"

"Yeah. I figured it had to be good for a laugh, at least."

"I don't suppose you want to visit? Maybe get caught up for a laugh?"

"Yeah, right. Keep dreaming. I wouldn't set foot in that apartment building. I might catch some of that crazy."

It then occurred to me that I was about to deliver a lot of heavy items and furniture up to a second floor apartment. I'd have a rough time doing it myself, so I decided to play a little wild card, here.

"Really?" I said. "Oh, well. That's too bad."

"Why's that?" he asked, predictably.

"There's this really beautiful woman who lives there..." I said, and from his expression, I knew I had him.

"Why didn't you say so?" he asked. "Oh, man. I'm there."

"But I thought you didn't want to come over," I prodded him.

"I'm a photographer," he explained. "You know that."

"I thought that was just a hobby," I said, thinking that this was a new excuse.

"It's my dream," he added. "A man has a right to dream, right?"

- x -

My dream is to collect lots of books, so whenever I move, I always sell the heavier items that I don't really get sentimental about. I also sell off a big stack of my books, but I've been finding lately that it gets harder and harder each time to sell the old books. I end up selling everything except my books, then break my back moving them all along with the heavier items I'm replacing in my new place. I usually buy a lot of used furniture for my new place, but something told me to just be picky and buy a few items that I knew I'd really want, rather than populate my place with junk.

This turned out to be a good move, because that meant less work for me and Taniguchi. He's a real lightweight when it comes to hauling heavy items, so I would have ended up moving most of it myself. I got my new TV placed in a corner of the room, adjusted my sofa, and had a seat to check how well it worked for me.

"There you go," he said. "Everything a man needs to survive. A couch, a bed, a TV, a fridge, and a hot water dispenser."

"Okay, cool," I answered. "Now, we're getting somewhere."

"I've moved a few times in my day," he added.

I was just thinking about getting up to start hauling up my boxes when I heard a knocking at the door. Taniguchi went to answer the door, and was suddenly blinded by Ryoko's radiant beauty. She was even wearing a prettier dress than before. I don't think Taniguchi really believed me when I said she was beautiful, so now he was in a sudden state of shock.

"Hello," he said. "Whoa..."

I got up to greet her, as I figured it would take a minute for Taniguchi to recover.

"Hello again," I said. "Sorry about my friend."

"I hope you don't mind," she answered, "but I brought over some snacks."

She held in her hand a plate of crackers, and I gratefully took them.

"I don't mind," I said. "Please, come in."

"Thank you," she answered, smoothly entering my apartment. "It's not every day we get a new neighbor around here."

"Sorry," I added, "I don't have any tea or anything to offer you."

"That's okay," she answered very cheerfully. "I can bring something over."

"You don't have to trouble yourself," I casually stated.

"Really," she said excitedly. "I'd love to. I'll be right back."

As Ryoko Asakura left the apartment again, I decided to see how well the table behind my sofa looked, placing the plate of crackers onto its surface. I picked one out, saying, "Think I'll try one."

"Okay," Taniguchi said, slowly recovering, "what the heck just happened?"

"What did I tell you?" I said, adjusting the plate on the table to look a little more presentable.

He continued, "That has got to be the most smoking-hot babe I've ever..."

There was a knocking at the door again, and he quickly answered it.

"Hello," he said, suddenly at a loss for words again.

"Oh, for heaven's sake," I said, wondering if I'd get to greet anyone. I went to the door and noticed Yuki Nagato, wearing a more ordinary outfit: a white, sleeveless top with one of those jeans with lots of pockets on them. I had a moment where I couldn't recognize her, but then her face suddenly came back to me.

"Hello," she said.

"Sorry about my friend," I answered. "He's helping me move."

"May I come in?" she asked.

"Of course," I replied. "Please, come in."

I felt a little mortified that I hadn't invited her in before she could ask, but she didn't seem too offended as she entered and looked around.

Taniguchi then asked me, "Should I ask...?"

"Oh, right," I said, suddenly realizing. "Taniguchi, this is Miss Nagato. Miss Nagato, this is Taniguchi."

"Yeah, hi," he said, then he turned to me and asked, "Am I missing something?"

"What?" I asked.

"Why is there...?" he started, but was interrupted.

"You mind if I smoke?" Yuki asked.

"Go right ahead," I answered, "but I don't have an ash tray."

"That's fine," she said. "I have one."

"Oh, good," I added. I turned back to Taniguchi and asked, "What? You say something?"

Yuki took an ash tray and a pack of cigarettes from a couple of her many pockets, as Taniguchi came closer to speak more confidentially with me.

"Dude," he said. "You've got a hot chick living nearby, and suddenly in walks this other hot chick. What gives?"

"I don't know," I replied very cheerfully. "Why don't you ask her?"

He sighed and said, "You're killing me, man."

I noticed Yuki looking at a window, and I told her, "Yeah, that opens up."

She opened the window and then lighted a cigarette.

"You want to switch apartments with me?" Taniguchi then asked.

"Forget it," I replied.

Ryoko then returned with tea, and I hastened to say, "Thanks. Sorry for all the trouble."

"It's no trouble," she said, setting the tray on the table next to the crackers.

I took a cup of tea, as Taniguchi continued blankly staring.

Ryoko looked at Yuki and said, "Really, now?"

"What?" Yuki answered.

Ryoko then added, "You've barely met, and you're already smoking in his apartment?"

"And?" Yuki asked.

"You know it isn't healthy," Ryoko lightly scolded her.

I put down my tea, suddenly worried about my horrible manners here. "Miss Asakura?" I said.

"Yes?" she answered.

"Sorry I neglected to introduce you earlier," I explained. "This is Taniguchi, an old friend from high school. Taniguchi, this is Miss Asakura."

"Hello," he said.

"Hello," she answered.

Having cleared that up, I felt like making my grand announcement, "Everyone, you're welcome here. Please feel free to relax. Take whatever you like. Come and go as you please."

This other strange woman then suddenly appeared at my open door, saying, "Whoa, that's generous. Hey, don't mind if I do."

I reflexively asked, "Hello? Who are you?"

I was a little taken aback by this woman's sudden rudeness, and I watched in astonishment as she smoothly entered my apartment, not even hesitating to try out my sofa. Despite the fact that she was obviously middle-aged, she carried herself like a child of thirteen, and grinned like a wolf at the prospect of freshly killed prey. She was very casually dressed, and her expression and body language exuded intimidating confidence, but I think I was a bit more surprised by her tenacious beauty. Here was a woman you might think was in her mid-twenties, though it was immediately obvious from her face that she was actually in her mid-thirties.

"Nope," Taniguchi said darkly, "she hasn't changed a bit."

The woman added, "You already have all this stuff. Sweet."

"Don't tell me..." I said, starting to realize.

"Yep," Taniguchi replied, "that's the one and only."

"I should have moved into this apartment," she added. "This one is a lot nicer than mine."

"Excuse me," I said to her, "but we haven't been properly introduced."

"So?" she answered. "Hey, don't sweat it. I know who you are."

She looked at Ryoko, and Ryoko just sighed and shook her head.

"Do I know you?" the woman asked me.

I turned to Taniguchi and asked him, "Help me out, would you?"

"Huh?" the woman said.

"Oh, right," Taniguchi said, realizing what I'd meant. "I don't suppose you remember me, Miss Suzumiya?"

"Should I?" she answered.

"I'm Taniguchi," he added, "from East Middle."

"Sorry, what?" she said.

"Anyway," he then said, "this is a friend of mine from high school."

"Oh," she said, quickly turning her attention back to my apartment.

Taniguchi then sighed and said, "Sorry, Kyon. I can't deal with this. I'm outta here."

"Kyon?" Haruhi said, wondering.

"See ya," Taniguchi said, leaving me behind to sort out this mess.

"That's not my name," I informed them.

Ryoko smilingly pointed out, "But didn't your friend...?"

I explained, "That's just a nickname my little sister gave me back when we were kids."

Haruhi grinned again and said, "It's perfect."

"Excuse me?" I said, thinking I hadn't heard her correctly.

"It really suits you," she added. "Yeah."

I sighed and then said, "Never mind. Just do what you want."

Haruhi then said to Yuki, "Hey Harlequin, what's up? You ready to stop being a frigid bitch?"

Yuki glared at Haruhi for a moment, then gave her the finger. "Bite me," she said in her weird, characteristic monotone.

"Oh, ouch," Haruhi answered. "I guess you can't always be sheepish and hesitant."

Yuki glanced at me, then put out her cigarette and picked up the cat.

"I'm becoming sick of you," she added to Haruhi.

"Yeah," Haruhi casually answered, "I'm getting damn sick of you, too."

"Shamisen hates you," Yuki stated. "That's why he ran away."

"Shamisen?" I said, wondering just who the heck would have a name like "Shamisen."

"It's your cat," Haruhi told her. "He obviously ran away from you."

Yuki then said, "He's not mine anymore."

Haruhi then seemed surprised. "Oh?" she asked. She then looked around at me, and suddenly scowled. "Oh, I get it," she said. "I'm just in the way."

I think I was just piecing together the fact that "Shamisen" was the cat's name when Haruhi got up in a huff.

"You can all just drop dead," she added. "Especially you, Ryoko." She then stomped out of my apartment, slamming the door closed as she left.

"Should I even ask?" I said, my mind whirling.

"It's probably better that you don't know," Ryoko stated.

"Okay," I said, content to leave it at that.


	2. Moonshadow

- Chapter 2: Moonshadow

I often find myself in strange, unintentional situations. Yeah, I know. Who doesn't? But I think I really have this way of finding myself swimming through a sea of strangeness unlike what most people experience. This morning was actually pretty typical for me, in terms of things suddenly happening for no apparent reason. This phenomenon has been happening off and on since I was about ten or so, and has only been increasing in frequency as I get older. Lately, it seems that perplexing situations happen to me at least twice a day.

For example, later that evening, I found myself walking back to my apartment with Ryoko Asakura. She was helping me carry my groceries. I'm not sure how that had happened, but maybe there had been some subtle competition going on between her and Yuki Nagato. Since Yuki had helped me carry in my boxes, I guess that meant Ryoko felt obliged to help with groceries. Yeah. That sounds about right.

"You sure you have all that?" I asked her, wondering if she could really handle three bags at once.

"Yeah," she said, very casually amused.

"I can carry another four or five bags, easily," I added, casually lifting my four bags to show how light they were.

"It's no problem," she said, very casually dismissing. She then very casually added, "I want to help."

"Thanks again," I said.

"Don't mention it," she replied, and it goes without saying that she said this very casually.

Her casual way of doing everything only reminded me how easily the boxes had gone. I had just started carrying them in from where Taniguchi had dumped them, and I suddenly found Yuki holding a box, as well. She'd asked me where to put them, but I didn't really have anywhere in mind, so I had just said to put them anywhere. I then went to retrieve another box, and I again came to my apartment and found Yuki placing another box neatly beside the first one. I hadn't even heard her go up or down the stairs, but then she is pretty light on her feet. Either that or she likes to teleport around. I'm not even sure whether I'm being serious about that.

All this strange uncertainty reminded me, "That Suzumiya woman is an odd one."

"No kidding," Ryoko agreed. "It's such a bother."

"She seems pretty forward, though," I added, thinking I should compliment her. "Didn't even bother knocking before she made herself at home." I then wondered if this qualified as a compliment.

"Well..." Ryoko answered, deftly dodging the question of whether I was complimenting Haruhi by saying, "I think that's just because she heard your invitation. She's actually very cynical and reclusive, most of the time."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered. "For some reason, though, she seems to open up with you."

"Lucky me," I said, not sure whether this was a good thing or a bad thing.

"I know, right?" Ryoko cheerfully added. "It's astounding."

"I'm just a fun, upbeat kind of guy," I explained, "so I don't take it personally. I mean, you guys obviously have some issues, but whatever."

"You should realize they just like to trash-talk," Ryoko added. "It's nothing personal. I actually kind of enjoy it."

"Yeah," I said. "I'm a little that way, myself."

I like to think of myself as fun and upbeat, although standing next to Ryoko makes me feel like I'm grave and dreary. I suppose her standing next to anyone has that effect on them. If anyone is headed toward Nirvana, I think it might be her. She seems to have this amazing perspective on things that is definitely higher than the rest of us mere mortals.

She continued, "The real problem is whenever things get a little tight, money wise."

"Oh?" I said, suddenly dropped down to Earth by this mundane remark of hers.

She explained, "I always find Miss Suzumiya eating out of my kitchen when that happens."

"Okay," I said, suddenly picturing her doing that. "So, I shouldn't be surprised if I find her doing the same thing."

"I'm an old friend," she added, "so it's no big deal for me. However..."

"A friend, huh?" I lightly remarked. "She didn't sound too friendly, earlier."

That brought the discussion to a grinding halt. Ryoko suddenly looked tense and a little upset about that.

"I don't suppose you want to tell me what that's about," I asked her.

"I'd really rather not," she said, suddenly very serious.

- x -

I noticed Yuki had been shadowing me most of the time, watching my every move. Not that I mind, of course, but it seemed to me like she was waiting for something to happen. It had started to weigh on my mind a bit, so I had invited her to read some books, if she wanted. It turned out that she not only had an interest in books, but she was also the fastest speed-reader I had seen in my life. And she didn't just take books from my boxes and leave them lying around. She would then return them to my boxes in exactly the same place that I had tossed them. I would have said something about all this, but I got the feeling that maybe she suffers from OCD, so I left it alone.

Still, it's all a little too convenient that this woman I like just happens to have the same hobbies as me: reading, playing card games or puzzle games, toying around with my laptop computer... Once again, not that I mind. It just seemed to me like there was this unstated expectation hanging in the air. I would suddenly wonder what it was and then notice Shamisen, doing something cat-like. It's a good thing he was there. I might have gotten a little bored, otherwise.

When I returned to my apartment with my groceries, I noticed Yuki was still there. She was sitting next to a window and smoking, while reading another book. Ryoko came in behind me, and I set my bags down on the counter, nodding to her to do the same when she glanced me a questioning look.

"I'm back," I said. "Hey, Miss Nagato."

"Welcome back," she gave me in her usual monotone.

I added, "I know I said you're free to come and go as you please, but don't you have your own place?"

"Yes," she answered.

I had a moment to reflect on how Yuki has this incredible knack for reducing her meaning to the shortest possible words and phrases. "Okay," I said. "I was just thinking that it's a little weird how you suddenly popped in like this."

"Is my presence not welcome?" she asked.

"That's not it," I replied. "It's just surprising."

"It should not be," she stated. "I live in this building."

"You do?"

"Yes. In the room directly below."

"Oh, okay. I didn't know that."

Ryoko finally chimed in, "You understand?"

"You're all friendly because you live together?" I guessed, with my usual knack for being completely wrong.

"We all live together because we're old friends," Ryoko corrected me.

"Oh, okay," I said, thinking of earlier. "That explains how Miss Suzumiya knew Miss Nagato was Harlequin."

Ryoko looked around at my groceries, and suddenly took an interest. "Is there any particular order you like for loading your fridge?"

"What?" I said, a little surprised. "Oh, you don't need to do that. Just leave that stuff to me."

"Okay," she answered, "but make sure you put it away before it spoils."

Ryoko didn't seem comfortable with the previous topic, but I found myself wondering how these two and Haruhi could know each other. Haruhi seemed to be about ten years older than these two, but I began having my doubts about that.

"So," I asked, "did you all know each other from school or something?"

"We went to high school together," Ryoko replied.

"We also participated at the same university," Yuki added.

"Participated?" I said, wondering what made her choose that word. I got the feeling that there was something very non-traditional about these two. Maybe they had just been child geniuses who had entered high school at age ten or something.

"I'm sorry," Ryoko told me, "but I'm going to go ahead and put these away. It'll bother me if I don't."

"Okay," I obliged her. "Go right ahead."

Ryoko then began loading my fridge. This seemed to be her way of saying that this discussion was something she'd prefer not to have, so I went to Yuki. She put out one cigarette and started on another.

"So," I said, "you like to read."

"Yeah," she answered.

"What do you think of my collection?"

"It's unique."

"Anything in particular you like?"

"All of it."

"Even the non-fiction?"

"Especially the ones intended to inform."

"You like educating yourself?"

"No. I find such books the most amusing."

"Amusing?"

"Nothing is more absurd than what humans consider factual."

"Okay," I said, thinking that she was strongly suggesting that she wasn't human. I've actually known quite a few people I assume are human that talk somewhat like this, so it's really no big deal. Still, if anyone could convince me that aliens are real, it would be this woman.

She then added, "I would invite you to visit me, but there is disorder."

"It's a mess?" I guessed.

"No," she answered. "I mean, you would not survive the attempt."

I got the feeling she was joking, but her voice and her face gave away no sign that she was being anything but deadly serious.

She seriously added, "There are conflicts of several dimensions which I have converged in my living space."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said, not even remotely understanding a word she had just said. I sighed and inferred from all this that she didn't want me visiting because she wasn't ready for me to see her apartment. Whatever that was supposed to mean. As I was pondering on all that, Ryoko appeared with a snack in her hands.

"You can come over to my place whenever you feel," she invited me. "I always keep the place warm and hospitable."

"Sometimes a little too hospitable," Yuki smoothly added.

"At least you'd survive."

"Minus your self-respect."

"Says the girl with the hated reputation."

"I'd rather be hated than..."

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa," I said. "Should I be hearing all this?" As much as I like a good cat fight, I have a hard time picturing these two going at it.

Ryoko sighed and conceded, "Kyon is right."

"'Kyon?'" I said, a little dismayed.

"You know," Ryoko added, "you always do this."

"What?" Yuki asked.

Ryoko explained, "Any time you see someone flirting with a guy you like, you start up with that mockery. It's a little tedious."

Yuki then noticed me looking at her, and she blushed in an odd way. She then turned away.

Ryoko then added, "This is why Miss Suzumiya started calling you 'Harlequin' in the first place."

"So," I realized, "Miss Suzumiya came up with that name?"

"Yes," Ryoko answered, "and she thought she was being ever so clever at the time. Little did she know that our shy Miss Nagato would start to turn into that creature."

It was fascinating, to see how this woman I assumed would be more bold and brash in her real life was actually very timid and careful of her surroundings. It gave her that added dimension that convinced me that she was truly real and not merely a product of my self-indulgent fantasies.

"It wasn't Suzumiya that made me that," Yuki then softly added.

"Whatever you say," Ryoko told her, a little disdainfully, taking a bite from her snack.

- x -

I was up early the next morning, and I went out for my usual jog. Five times around the block seemed good enough for now, so I went back to my apartment. I brewed up some coffee while I turned on the TV morning weather report and scanned the internet for news. This was a nice routine, but it seemed a little odd to be doing this in a strange new place. I took a few moments to try and recognize what was odd about it all. I then got up from my seat at the table and poured myself some coffee.

When I sat in front of the TV with my coffee, noticing the smell and how familiar everything was, I then realized what it was that had been bothering me. It all seemed just a little too familiar, and that made me wonder why I wasn't still in bed, sleeping. This was a Sunday, after all.

"Oh man," I said to myself. "What am I doing up this early?"

My door suddenly flew open, and Haruhi entered, exclaiming, "Good morning!" She then closed the door and locked it behind her in one, smooth, swift motion. "Oh, you're awake..." she then had the nerve to say.

"That explains about the key," I said, thinking that Haruhi would likely enter apartments and then leave them locked if she didn't find you there.

"What?" she said, then explained, "Oh. Force of habit." She then turned and unlocked the door, then pranced inside, coming to stand directly behind me. "I love early mornings," she added right in my ear.

"Don't you usually sleep at about this time of day?" I asked, thinking of yesterday.

"Sleep?" Haruhi said. "I've been awake all night."

"How on Earth?" I asked, about to ask her what kind of drugs she must have been using to be so awake after going without sleep.

"You should try it sometime," she added.

"No thank you," I answered. "I've had plenty enough sleepless nights."

"Have you had breakfast?" she asked.

"I'm drinking it," I replied, lifting my cup of coffee a bit in salute to this thought.

"Oh, come on!" Haruhi complained. "You can't call that a breakfast!"

"You have a better idea?" I asked.

"It's Sunday," she replied. "You know what that means?"

"Yeah," I answered. "It's the one day I don't have to go in to work."

"Wrong!" she cheerfully disagreed. "Sunday is the day for church!"

I had a sinking feeling when she said that, and I sighed, thinking she was one of "those" people. You know, the kind who like to preach at you constantly.

"So, you're religious?" I asked her.

"Oh, hell no," she answered, very disgusted at the suggestion.

"Then what...?" I started to ask, but then I regretted even thinking it.

"Well," she explained, "somebody has to rake in the suckers. And it may as well be me."

Even worse. She was "one of those" people. My hair raised on the back of my neck at the thought.

I then stiffly told her, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to refuse whatever you're offering as a matter of principle."

"Really?" she asked. "Can you turn down a real breakfast? Western style?"

"Western?" I said, wondering what that could mean.

"That's right," she answered. "Bacon and eggs. OJ and toast. Yum!"

"Sounds disgusting," I remarked, thinking how much I'd prefer a more traditional breakfast, if I did eat anything.

"Come on!" she insisted. "You'll love it. I won't even make you stay for the lectures."

Lectures? I shuddered at the thought. To be lectured at all on a Sunday would be bad enough, but to be lectured by a hypocrite like her would be tantamount to blasphemy. I then felt it my duty to go to this breakfast, just so I could turn around and refuse anything else they could offer me as a matter of principle.

- x -

I then spent a few minutes washing my face, shaving, brushing my teeth, and getting appropriately dressed. This was all very routine for me, so it wasn't long before I then followed Haruhi out to the adjacent parking lot next to the apartment. On the way downstairs, she started a conversation with me.

"So," she asked, "what do you think of your new home? You like your neighbors?"

"I like a couple of them," I replied. "There's this one that's a little pushy and obnoxious, though."

"Heh," she said, smirking at me. "You have a sharp tongue. I like that."

"To be honest," I said, reciprocating her honesty, "I kind of like Miss Asakura. She's very charming."

Haruhi had a good, long look at me, but I continued to radiate my sincere impression of Ryoko. I have no hesitation at the thought of liking a very beautiful, very charming woman. In particular, if I'm speaking to Haruhi, I feel no remorse at letting her know the unpolished truth of the matter. I don't think she has a right to complain, being someone who is somehow involved in dishonestly manipulating other people's beliefs.

She then sneered at me and led me toward a well-armored four-door sedan. It looked like the car version of her: sleek and stylish, but a little worn and intimidating. "You have a license?" she then asked me.

"Sure," I said, patting my wallet pocket to make sure I had it, "but I'm a little out of practice."

"Oh," she casually added. "Well, this will give you a chance to get back in practice."

"You want me to drive?" I guessed.

"That's right," she said.

She then gave me a key ring and immediately entered the passenger side of the car.

"Okay," I said, thinking that it had been a while, but I've driven bigger, more intimidating vehicles than this.

- x -

Driving that car did actually make me a little nervous. From the steering, it felt like it was really heavy, and it lurched whenever I would try to slow it down. The brakes were pretty sensitive, too, which didn't help the situation much. The turning radius was tight, but it seemed suicidal to think of taking a tight corner at high speed. I had the impression that the car would probably flip, and I'd be crushed to death under some kind of steel plating. It basically handled like an RV compressed into the space of a typical Porsche. Haruhi had some amusement at my brief mishandling of this vehicle, but she was otherwise unperturbed.

"So," I asked, "how far away is this place?"

"It's about ten miles from here," she answered.

"Just keep going this way?" I asked.

"Take the highway entrance at the intersection," she answered. "I'll tell you where to exit from there."

"Right," I said, already seeing a sign indicating that intersection.

I glanced at her and noticed her putting on glasses and opening a large notebook.

"Lecture notes?" I guessed.

"My appointment book," she supplied. "You can never be too organized."

"So, you're a cult leader?" I asked.

She didn't chafe at that, but she added, "I like to think of myself as more of an ironic educator."

"Oh," I said, realizing. "So, you enlighten people in spite of the things you teach them."

"Hey, that's good," she commented. "Yeah, you're catching on."

I sadly added, "I don't suppose you believe in anything yourself..."

"No," she answered. "Well... Actually, yes."

"Yeah?" I said, then I noticed the intersection and asked, "Turn here?"

"Yeah," she answered, "this is the highway."

I then turned onto the entrance ramp, and we entered the highway.

"I mean," she explained, "every now and then, something really weird will start to happen that'll creep me out."

"Like seeing a UFO?" I said.

"Yeah," she answered, "but no. I've never seen a UFO. But I've seen a lot of weird things that make me wonder."

She then took off the glasses and put away her notebook. I have to admit, I kind of like Haruhi in glasses. It makes her look more distinguished. She needs that to offset that arrogant, childish look she sometimes gets.

She continued, "There was this one time I saw a little kid get trapped under a truck. Yuki and I were just walking along at the time. It was the craziest thing. The kid started screaming, and I started to panic, and the truck caught on fire. I seriously thought someone was going to die."

"The truck flipped?" I asked, thinking that whole scenario to be highly unlikely.

"Yeah," she answered. "Well, it sort of rolled and skidded on its side. It's kind of weird that the kid didn't die, but the truck had crumpled up a bit. Anyway, the kid was stuck, like I said."

"So, what happened?"

"Yuki looked at it like it was some kind of interesting math problem. She then just casually lifted the side of the truck like it was made of cardboard. I swear. She didn't even seem to exert herself. She just kind of lifted it like you would a book."

"You sure you didn't hallucinate it?"

Haruhi took a moment and then added, "That's what I thought, but then I ran into the kid later. He said the same thing, and it got me to wondering about Yuki. I mean, I've heard of super strength in stressful situations, but that was ridiculous."

I smiled and suggested, "Maybe she's an alien."

Haruhi laughed and said, "No way."

"Yeah," I added, seriously, "it was probably just a miracle."

Haruhi seemed to be a little anxious at that, and I was surprised. So, maybe she does have a conscience.

"But," I added, "you don't believe in that kind of thing, huh?"

"You ever been married?" she asked me, suddenly.

"No," I admitted.

"Really?" she persisted. "Not even in a serious relationship?"

"No," I added, getting a little irritated at being reminded. I sighed and remarked, "Sad, isn't it?"

"Not really," she said, dismissively. "I mean, it's okay for a man. For a woman, it's pretty damn pathetic."

"You ever been married?" I asked her.

"Twice," she stated.

"Yeah?" I asked her. "How did that work out?"

"It was terrible," she complained. "I mean, it was great at first, but things never last."

"That's too bad," I said.

"It's really no big deal," she said. "I never really wanted to get married, but..."

"The relationship went bad?"

"No, the relationship was great. That's what made me marry in the first place."

"So, what happened?"

"He died when I was thirty."

"Ouch," I said, suddenly feeling sorry for her. "I'm sorry."

"It's no big deal," she said, waving away my pity. "It's not like it was your fault."

"How did it happen?" I asked.

"Heart attack," she explained. "It happens."

"At thirty?" I asked, a little dumbfounded.

"Yeah," she casually added, "everybody asks that."

This was an awkward conversation, but it was still way better than talking about miracles. I would have never guessed that a woman like Haruhi would turn out to have been married, but then I never would have guessed a woman like Yuki would turn out to be single, either.

"So," I started up again, "what's it like to be married?"

"A lot like being single, only..." she wistfully commented.

"Only?" I prompted.

She explained, "Marriage really disabuses you of the notion that men and women are any different. I mean, unless you become a mother, of course."

"You ever become a mother?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "Sometimes, I feel like I'm Yuki's mother."

- x -

I pulled into the parking lot of a place that seemed a lot like how Haruhi had described it. It was an ordinary-looking two-story L-shaped building with a steel roof. It had that kind of cheap, tossed-together look that seemed more appropriate for a small business than any kind of religious structure. Then again, I've never been in too many religious structures that weren't a more stereotypical type of temple.

"This is the place?" I asked, not even close to certain that I was right to park here.

"Not very impressive, is it?" she admitted.

"I thought it'd be bigger," I added.

She then closed her eyes and began slowly breathing deeply.

"So, whatever happened to that second marriage?" I asked.

She snarled in a disgusted way and said, "I'd rather not talk about it." She then continued taking deep breaths.

"Is that some kind of meditation?" I asked, hardly daring to believe that she might adhere to one of the meditative texts.

"I'm psyching myself up," she explained. "God! I hate this place. I wish I could just burn it down."

"So, why did you start it in the first place?" I asked.

"I didn't," she stated. "My first husband ran this place. It was all his idea. The bastard."

"I see," I said, starting to appreciate her position a little better.

- x -

I went inside with her and enjoyed some breakfast, though I declined politely on doing anything further. I was polite out of respect for Haruhi and her dilemma, but I stood firm on my previous decision to not participate in their activities, even going so far as to wait at the car. It gave me some time to meditate. I'm not sure what they were doing inside, but in my case, I used my time to clear my mind of thinking. This was just a habit that had been instilled into me at an early age. Before I knew it, Haruhi was returning, making swift strides toward me and the car.

"Hey," I said.

"Let's go," she said, handing me the keys again. "I need to scrub my face clean of this horrible smile."

We got into the car, and I was about to start it up when I looked at her with some concern.

"You going to be okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "Let's just go somewhere."

"Where to?"

"How about the beach?"

"How about we have lunch at a nice restaurant?"

"Okay..."

- x -

We found a nice restaurant, something that Haruhi insisted we eat at, and we quickly ordered something to eat. The place was very small, and few people were eating here. Nevertheless, there was an aroma coming from the kitchen that made me forget all about stupid things like what Haruhi might consider a worthwhile Sunday morning.

Even so, it did bother me. Haruhi being irreligious just seemed to me like a tragedy, not so much from a strictly philosophical point of view, but from the fact that it just seemed to me like it was such a waste of her talents. Something in me just said that if she really wanted to make it work, she could make it work.

"You know," I told her, "religion isn't so bad. You should give it a chance."

"Yeah, maybe," she conceded. "There's a lot to like about preaching."

"It makes you feel appreciated, right?" I asked her.

"It gives me something to do with myself," she explained. "I'd just be totally bored, otherwise."

It then dawned on me that Haruhi being bored would be a terrible thing. I hate to think what would happen in that case. Then again, she did have her writing. Why couldn't that fill her time? I told her, "You wouldn't be preaching there after so long unless you did believe it, in a way."

"You think so?" she wondered.

"It can't all be about the money," I insisted.

She grinned and said, "Don't be so sure, pal. Money goes a long way."

"You can't buy an afterlife," I added, only half-serious.

"Is there an afterlife?" she asked, fully serious.

"I don't know," I admitted. "But one thing is for sure. They don't take Visa." I felt kind of stupid for saying something so obvious, but Haruhi had a ready comeback.

"Harlequin takes Visa," she informed me.

"She does?" I said.

"She's a mercenary," Haruhi added.

"Wow," I said before I could really stop myself. "Really?" Haruhi had me against the ropes in this conversation.

"You don't think she works for free, do you?" she said, giving me a nice verbal uppercut.

I hated the thought of Yuki in her Harlequin outfit doing her good deeds and then leaving behind a bill for whoever she just rescued to pay. It just seemed so... wrong. I couldn't picture it. Or, maybe I just didn't want to picture it.

Haruhi mercifully added, "There was a time when she did work for free, but that was years ago."

"What happened?" I asked, very curious.

"I don't know," she replied. "I can never get a straight answer from her."

"How does she make money if she's so hated?" I then asked, still skeptical about Yuki being a mercenary.

"Simple," Haruhi explained. "She helps people who are in trouble. People who are in trouble are desperate. They don't really care if the person who helps them is hated or not."

"I see," I admitted, thinking I would just have to accept this.

"It's the same basic concept as religion," Haruhi added, "but only a bit less personal."

"You sound like you don't like Harlequin," I remarked.

"I do use it as an insult, yeah," she admitted. "She used to always take offense when I called her that, but now she literally wears it as a point of pride. Or maybe this is her way of mocking me. I've never really thought about it."

"You don't like thinking about your friends?" I asked.

"I hate the thought of slowly making them into enemies," she answered.

"Like Miss Asakura, huh?" I guessed, though it seemed pretty obvious.

"You're quicker than I thought you'd be," Haruhi told me.

"Than you thought I'd be?" I asked, wondering where that came from.

"About Ryoko, yeah," Haruhi explained. "The bitch stole my second husband from me. Are you happy now?"

"You're still holding a grudge about it?" I ventured.

"I will never forgive her," Haruhi said, very adamant. "I don't care how much she begs or bribes me."

"Okay..." I said. "Well, you don't hold anything against Miss Nagato, do you?"

She sighed and eventually answered, "No."

"That's good," I said. "At least, that's something you can hang onto, right?"

Haruhi didn't seem all that happy about it, and I wondered what was bothering her. I felt like I should have been able to guess, but I do tend to have a mental block about things that are a little too obvious, sometimes.

"Yuki's really uptight," Haruhi explained. "You know?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean," she replied, "she really needs to get laid. You should sleep with her."

"Really?" I said, wondering if she had just said what I thought she said.

"Yeah," Haruhi insisted very firmly. "I think it'd do her a world of good. Get her juices flowing, you know?"

With that answer, there was no longer any doubt in my mind that she had said what I thought she'd said. The shock on my face must have been evident, because Haruhi then apologized.

"Sorry," she said. "I forgot you've never been married."


	3. How Can I Tell You

- Chapter 3: How Can I Tell You

The next few days were like a blur of work and briefly chilling out to some kind of cheap, homemade dinner. It was great, but I felt a bit like I was living on borrowed time. I lived in constant fear that I would be handed a termination notice by my boss, since this is what had inevitably happened at the last four jobs. The only thing that changed was whether I worked there for a year, four years, five years, or six months. The amount of time seemed random, so why not within a week?

I've never been fired from a job for any reason related to myself, I've never quit in the middle of a job, and I've never turned down a reasonable job offer. The notion of "job security" is a hilariously tragic one for me, and I've never even met someone who's had that feeling. You can start to understand, when the company suddenly handed down to us lowly peons the "suggestion" of attending the company conference, why I was all too eager to accommodate my new bosses. You might also start to understand why I have no confidence in my own future, and I'm amazed at the suggestion that a woman like Yuki Nagato could find a suitable match for herself in me.

Let's be frank. I was in love with Yuki long before Haruhi had encouraged me, and I really didn't need her suggestions. All that encouragement had done was made me even more depressed that I was someone so unworthy to fill that role, and I was beginning to become terrified of what kind of future might lay in store for Yuki if she was starting to fall for me. I wouldn't turn down a gift, though. I mean, if Yuki had smiled a certain way or winked or even made a romantic, playful suggestion, I'd have been all over that. Not that I expected this to happen, in any case. I mean, we barely knew each other. Even under ideal circumstances, things would have still moved slowly.

Nevertheless, I happened to notice that this conference was going to be at a decent mountain resort, and it included a couple extra passes for guests. Since Yuki had gotten in the habit of greeting me when I returned from work each day, I followed up with a request that she attend this conference with me, and she instantly accepted. That cheered me up immensely, and I scolded myself for not having more faith in myself. Why should I care about some hazy, unknowable future? I can't do anything more about it right now, so it really shouldn't bother me this much.

When Friday came around, I was back to my usual chipper self, sitting around watching TV with the cat. Yuki was sitting at the table, reading. Taniguchi had come over, and was brandishing his camera at Ryoko. Taniguchi had already been over a couple times this week, but this was the first time that Ryoko was starting to get into it, posing for him. She wasn't about to let him into her apartment, and I have to applaud her judgment on that call, in particular after Taniguchi took a moment to ask me for some kind of job recommendation. I just laughed and flatly refused to even think about such a thing.

"Okay," he said to Ryoko, "one more."

"I've only been there a week," I added. "I don't think I can help you out."

Ryoko obligingly posed while Taniguchi took his shot. He then turned to me with a look of disappointment.

"Really?" he asked. "Well, that sucks."

I explained, "I'm stuck in filing hell. If I'm lucky, I might work my way up to technical support hell."

"Just thought I'd ask," he added.

"Yeah," I said, sympathetically, "I know."

"I mean," he continued, "you know how it is." He then started to put away his camera.

I did feel bad for him. Taniguchi has had to deal with a "slacker" tag his whole life because of the moronic way his father had brought him up. Taniguchi's father was big on work ethic and really old school, but that just meant that his expectations were extremely unrealistic. I explained to him, "You'd have to at least read up on this place. They aren't just going to let anybody work for them."

"They'd hire Miss Nagato in a second," he said.

"What?" I said, wondering how he'd reached that conclusion.

"Every time I come over here," he answered, "she's reading."

"Oh," I said. "Yeah, they'd love someone like her."

"Then again," he remarked, "she'd probably send management into a panic. You know how much they hate people who can't 'pace' themselves."

"I think she could pace herself," I told him. "Right?" I asked Yuki.

"I think not," she answered.

"Yeah..." I said, thinking that Yuki is not exactly the type who likes that kind of stress. "She'd get canned within an hour."

I should mention that Yuki does thrive on stressful situations, but only the kind that actually challenge her intellect. She really hates those situations that are just political or where people are unleashing their egos on each other.

"What type of work does she do?" Taniguchi asked me.

"I'm a drug dealer," Yuki answered.

This is another thing Yuki thrives on. She sometimes enjoys toying with people, and I enjoy seeing it in action, but this situation wasn't quite right for that kind of thing.

"Don't say it like that," I said to her. "He'll think you're serious."

"Oh, I see," he said. "You're a real kidder."

"I do odd jobs," she then added.

"So," he concluded, "you work at your own pace. That's cool."

"Yeah," I added, "one of us should love what they do for a living."

I almost started to feel sorry for myself, but Taniguchi then said, "I doubt you have a reason to complain about this weekend."

"Oh, right," I said. "That conference. I should get packed and ready for that."

"Man," he complained, "this sucks. I've worked five different jobs, and none of them had conferences."

"Probably because they didn't require much skill."

"It's so unfair."

"It isn't a vacation. I'm going to be at boring seminars the whole time."

"The whole time? I doubt that. I bet you'll be at a hot springs most of the time."

I wish. Just the thought of a real vacation seemed like an impossible dream for me. I told him, "The place I'm staying at doesn't even have a hot springs."

"I bet they have regional food," he said. "You better bring back some decent souvenirs."

"You want to come along?" I offered. "I've got an extra guest pass."

"So," he asked, "it's just you and Miss Nagato?"

"Yeah," I answered, "for now."

He sighed and said, "Man, I'd love to, but I got work this weekend."

"Working on your photos?" I guessed.

"I can guess what you'll be 'working' on," he complained. Taniguchi never quite grew out of his whiny, teenage, bitter phase.

"Don't be vulgar," I casually scolded him.

"I'm not judging you," he added. "If anything, I kind of envy you."

"So," I told him, "skip work and go with us."

"I kind of like eating," he said, ruefully amused. "So, no thanks."

I could sympathize. Actually, Taniguchi probably has it hardest out of anyone I know personally, so I can't really begrudge him his moments of joy, like when he takes pictures of Ryoko. This just reminded me that I would probably be taking some pictures, myself.

"You mind if I borrow your camera?" I asked him.

"For the trip?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "I mean, if you aren't coming, I'd still like to get some pictures. I don't want to be stuck using my cell phone for it."

"Fine with me," he said. "I do owe you for letting me shoot here, but just don't scratch it up or anything."

"I'll be careful," I told him. "I don't want to have to pay you back for that thing."

"You're darn right, you don't," he added.

- x -

The next morning, I went to the company bus that was hauling those of us at this particular branch (who were too poor to pay our own travel expenses) out to the mountain resort hotel. I had a bit of a scare while I waited for Yuki to show up, and I wondered briefly if I had remembered to tell her about this rendezvous. She showed up right at the last moment and sat next to me on the bus.

"I'm glad Taniguchi isn't coming with us," I said. "I know I offered, but that was just to be polite."

"Okay," she responded.

"I thought for sure Miss Asakura might want to go with us," I added. "I guess she's just too polite, herself."

"Possibly," she remarked.

It was a relief that Yuki was actually going with me, but then I started to wonder about Ryoko. Something very strange was going on with her, and it really bothered me.

"I never see her going out," I said. "Does she have a problem with people in the neighborhood, or something? I mean, all she ever does is go shopping, from what I've noticed."

Yuki explained, "She has the unfortunate reputation of being a home-wrecker."

"Oh..." I said, thinking of what Haruhi had told me. "Yeah, I guess I can see that."

"She is also viewed as recklessly childish by her kinsfolk," Yuki added.

"Kinsfolk?" I softly wondered about this strange word choice.

"She had a difficult maturation period," Yuki then added. "The same is true for myself."

"She seems to take in all in stride. I have to admire that."

"Yes."

"I just hope she doesn't get in trouble."

"There is a high likelihood she will."

- x -

When we came to the resort, I found myself suddenly thinking that I'd left a bag behind. I was sure for a moment that I'd brought three rather than these two, but then I calmed down for a moment and convinced myself that it really was just two. Yuki had only brought one bag, so it was a little ridiculous that I had thought I'd had three. I started to continue on, but then I stopped as I had another anxious thought.

"Wait," I said. "Do I...? Okay. Yeah."

"What?" Yuki asked me.

"Just making sure I have my cell phone," I replied. "I'd really hate to lose that."

"Yes," she agreed.

"You have your guest pass?" I asked her, and when I looked, she held it out for me to see. "Okay," I added, "that's good. I think we're set."

Yuki stopped and stared at me, while I continued in this way for a few more moments.

"Does Miss Asakura know how to take care of Shamisen?" I asked her.

"Are you worried?" Yuki asked me.

"I guess I am worrying a little too much," I admitted, suddenly amused with myself.

"Asakura was more upset than I," Yuki told me, "when I had lost Shamisen."

"Really?" I asked.

"She is more prone to outbursts of affection," Yuki explained.

I then realized that all my worrying was just bothering Yuki, and I really ought be the more secure one, though I wasn't sure why. I silently scolded myself and thought seriously about what I was doing here.

"You want to check out the shop?" I asked her. "See if they have any tourist manuals?"

"That will not be necessary," she informed me.

"What?" I asked. "You're familiar with this area?"

She answered, "There are discrepancies between its presentation and its actuality."

"Yeah," I agreed, "I suppose that's true for most places."

"It's peculiar to places of notoriety," she corrected me.

"Well, sure," I said. I then realized why that may be and added, "But that's one of the main amusements. The sights."

"Is it amusing?" she wondered.

"Of course," I answered. "I can't wait to see the sights, myself."

- x -

I know this is going to sound strange, but my first indication of how strongly Yuki felt about me was when I found myself stirring at our room at that resort hotel, later that evening. I sat up in bed with some fuzzy memories of what had just transpired, and I noticed Yuki smoking a cigarette, sitting on the floor with her back to the side of the bed.

"Have I ruined your image of Harlequin?" she asked me.

"Yeah," I replied. "I think so."

"I assume you weren't in love with that characterization," she added.

I continued, being oddly honest, "I think I have more affection for Miss Asakura, but what I mostly liked about Harlequin was this idea of a character struggling with her reputation to create a better world."

"You were aware of how the media presented that character?" she softly asked.

"I understood her value to the media," I explained. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out that heroes and villains pull in the ratings."

I then had a brief flashback of Yuki and myself engaged in a long session of making out, and it struck me that there was really no denying what had just happened here. I kind of felt like I was being dragged along, and that made me think oddly of Haruhi. Was all this just something she had scripted? It seemed like a horrible notion, but the feeling that it was right somehow was very strong.

"The thing that's bothering me is how Miss Suzumiya views us," I said, which was about as close to that thought as I could get just then.

"She views me as a kind of daughter," Yuki supplied.

"Yeah," I agreed. "And she seems to know a little too much about me. What's up with that?"

"She did carelessly reveal that she chose you," Yuki added.

"She chose me?" I asked, once again horrified. "You mean, like she had this list of guys on her computer and she pointed to one and said, 'Okay. Yeah. I'll take that guy.'?"

"Yes," Yuki replied.

My mind blanked for a moment, but then I took a fresh look at all this and it seemed just as horrifying.

"Why?" I asked. "How did that happen?"

Yuki answered, "The purpose of your choosing is unclear, however I believe that she intended for you to engage in a sexual relationship with me."

Well, mission accomplished. Okay, never mind how exactly Yuki knew all this, I still didn't have the foggiest idea where any of this was headed. If Haruhi really had just selected me like cattle, that could only speak to her outrageous arrogance. The thought that people could still do that in this day and age... It was literally unthinkable. As in, my mind would go blank at the thought. At least, in ancient times, people only did this kind of thing out in the open where everyone involved could know what was going on. I'd been completely blindsided.

Yuki added, "The data she had accumulated was detailed. She had access to several reports of your work performance, your relationships with superiors, your accomplishments on several tasks..."

Only one of my employers had kept all that kind of information. I then realized, "She hacked the Defense Ministry's database?"

"She had accomplices," Yuki answered, "but she was the primary culprit."

That was a pretty famous incident. I read a lot about that on a number of news sites. "Okay," I said, "so Suzumiya's net alias is 'INTSky'?"

"Yes," Yuki replied.

"She's really lucky she didn't get busted," I commented.

"She had unexpected help, as well," Yuki added, and I just knew she meant herself. It was the only thing that reasonably explained how Yuki could know all this.

I then thought for a moment and asked, "She didn't know about you losing your cat, did she?"

"She knew I had lost him," Yuki replied, "but I believe she did not know how."

I continued, "Because we only met in the first place because of Shamisen. I mean, we do live in the same apartment, but I doubt it would have been as easy as this..."

"Easy?" Yuki asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "I mean, the moment you told me your name, I..."

"Oh," she said, obviously realizing that I meant I'd fallen in love with her then.

I added, "It's kind of creepy that she was involved at all, but I don't think Suzumiya was the main reason."

I then had that horrible thought that, no matter the role fate had played, Haruhi had still been the one who'd decided, somehow. It made my mind blank again, and I just decided to put it out of my mind. I didn't want to know exactly how she had "chosen" me. It was just too crazy.

"Oh, man," I said, still reeling a little.

- x -

In the early morning between dreams and wakefulness, there's this period of time when thoughts race across your mind like clouds in the sky. It's really the perfect time to mull things over, and to sort out the really big issues. I began to realize things like the fact that whether Haruhi had intended for me to end up with Yuki was completely irrelevant. The only reason we were together at all was because Yuki had made a series of difficult decisions, including deciding to confront me as Harlequin. The only reason we were staying together was because I also wanted us to be together. All Haruhi had done was to play a risky gamble, and in that sense, she was subject to fate as well. Any way you slice it, this was really just the hand of fate at work, here.

Of course, this time of the morning also leaves your mind prone to weird fantasies, so I also began visualizing having a loving conversation with a slice of cake, playing strip poker with a strangely large cat in a tuxedo, and then making love to Yuki while Harlequin jealously watched through a peep hole from another room. I'm not sure how much I trust my judgment while I'm asleep, is what I'm getting at here.

In any case, when Yuki decides to open up and really start conversing, she doesn't just speak a little bit. She explodes with information. This really isn't all that surprising, considering how much she reads. All that information has to go somewhere, and her seeing me half-awake probably seemed to her like the perfect excuse for her to ramble on. I have to hand it to her, she can talk for hours about anything. Whether it's arts or science, nature or nurture, social order, language, the human condition... I get the distinct impression that I haven't really studied enough, and I kind of get the feeling that I'm never going to feel like I've studied enough when it comes to conversing with her. She's like a little walking, talking encyclopedia.

I think she must have seen me stirring, because she then started talking about how frustrated she was with me and how much she planned to spend the day arguing with me. I sensed that she was just messing with me, so I continued to pretend to be asleep, while she continued trying to provoke me with suggestions that she was really in love with someone else, how she was already fighting with my little sister, how she was going to get me in trouble with my bosses, etc. I finally yawned involuntarily and thus gave away the fact that I had been listening the whole time.

"Are you listening, now?" she asked playfully, though still in monotone.

"Huh?" I said, pretending not to hear.

"Are you listening?" she repeated. "Are you listening?"

"What's that?" I asked, feigning difficulty hearing.

"This is a game you cannot win," she softly informed me.

"Why?" I asked. "You're nothing but a scrawny smoker. I was in the SDF."

"I'm also Harlequin," she reminded me. "You think you can defeat her?"

I laughed and said, "Who's talking about Harlequin?"

Yuki thought she could keep me pinned down to the bed, but I started to kiss her. As she got into it, I turned her over and pinned her down.

"You see?" I said. "You're weak."

She just smirked and answered, "Oh yeah?"

I then felt her twisting my arm, forcing me to turn away. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" I said. "Okay, I give up." She then let me go.

She added, "Suzumiya told you how I lifted that truck, right?"

"Yeah," I answered. "So?"

"I have special, hidden powers," she explained.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really," she answered. "When I become Harlequin, I can do anything."

"You don't need the mask and the suit, right?" I wondered.

She smiled and explained, "The mask is just a mask. It doesn't have any special meaning beyond what you decide to see in it."

"It was special to me," I complained.

"You said you admired her reputation," she added.

"Yeah," I agreed. "It takes a special kind of hero to be so vilified by the media."

"The media was a tool I used to create conflicts," she explained. "Nothing more."

"Really?" I asked again.

"Yes," she answered again. "Everything that character manifested, including in the media, was according to my design."

"Okay," I said, thinking of myself as foolish and deluded. "I guess I'm sorry I didn't fall for your tricks."

"Why are you sorry?" she asked.

"That's what you wanted, right?" I asked.

"That was what Harlequin wanted," she replied. "What I want is what I see in front of me."

She pulled me close, and this seemed like the perfect time to kiss. So, what the hell. Afterward, I asked, "You know what would be nice?"

"What?" she asked.

"Why don't we just take off?" I softly proposed.

"Take off?" she wondered.

"Yeah," I answered. "Just wander the Earth. Go from place to place. Get in adventures. You know? Like Caine, in Kung Fu."

I think she recognized that I was serious while also making a silly Pulp Fiction reference, so she smiled again. She then asked, "Would that make you happy?"

"I would very much enjoy that," I replied, "but I have a funny feeling you'd enjoy it even more."

"You're right," she agreed.

- x -

The date thing is nothing new for me. I may not have ever been in a serious relationship, but that's only because my high school girlfriend despised the fact that I was "lazy" (oh, the irony). She was charming and wealthy and nice and wealthy. Did I mention she was wealthy? Yeah. We used to fight a lot, but we somehow managed to drag it out for a couple years. She then discovered that I was also self-centered and unpleasant, but that was mainly because she finally noticed that someone other than herself actually existed. My one girlfriend in college was a train wreck of self-centered vanity and pseudo-intellectual smugness. I shudder to think what might have happened had I slept with her. Thankfully, I only put up with her for six months. After my stint in the SDF, I hooked up with a very charming but brutal girl (not unlike Haruhi in most respects), but she resembled my mother a bit too much for me to ever imagine even kissing her, so I dumped her after a couple weeks. The next girl I dated was such a narcissist, that she would make small talk with herself in the mirror. I kid you not. She turned out to be intellectually banal, and I discovered that she only had a talent for working in shady clubs, so I fled from her like the wind after three days. You get the picture. A string of increasingly horrific failures, one after another. That is, until I saw Harlequin on TV, and I just knew I would never love anyone else. Until I met Yuki, of course.

Speaking of Yuki, she began to share with me some of her experiences with men. After repeatedly ignoring my attempts to get from her what high school had been like, she finally admitted to having a short relationship with a man in college. He was handsome and witty. A very suave and adventurous kind of man that a girl like Yuki might fall for rather easily. After dating him for about two weeks, she discovered that he was also dating an old childhood sweetheart. Oops. She then dropped out of college after a year to help Haruhi with her ambitions (or rather, Haruhi's first husband's ambitions). The church quickly came together, and she shortly met a man of very modest and moderate personality. She liked him very much and pursued him for about a year until she found out that he was gay. The next man was playful and kind, though women invariably tended to flirt with him, and he couldn't help flirting back on occasion. The thing that soured their relationship was the fact that he enjoyed making fun of the way she speaks, and she broke up with him out of annoyance at being mocked, constantly. By then, she had become somewhat famous, and she discovered to her annoyance that people often rudely referred to her in the same terms as Ryoko. It was no real surprise to her, that the next man she liked turned out to be a scoundrel that was only after her credit cards. He told her that she was just going to "use" him, so it was only fair. You can kind of understand why she would develop a distrust for men in general, having experienced so many backstabbings and disappointments. I think I also maybe understand why she started to become a mercenary. She simply became used to the idea of people exploiting each other. It's really sad, but I'm glad she didn't get stuck thinking that that was all there was to life.

Anyway, as I said, dating is nothing new for me or Yuki, so we found all the most unusual places and enjoyed them to the fullest extent. I especially enjoyed fussing with Taniguchi's camera, taking lousy pictures of the scenery with Yuki in sharp focus. I'm not crazy. The sights I'm looking at are mostly Yuki herself. Seeing her enjoy herself made me happy, and I began to feel like a window had opened in my heart and had allowed some fresh air in. It's funny how these things inside of you suddenly appear, and you had no idea they were there to begin with. I'm not sure how else to describe it, but it was like magic. We shortly came to one of the more scenic spots: an old-fashioned bridge standing just in front of a waterfall.

"Oh, that's perfect!" I said, getting the perfect framing for this shot. I took a few pictures, but then when I looked at how they were turning out from the display on the back, it seemed a bit off.

"Are you sure you have the aperture setting correct?" Yuki asked.

That sounded about right. I said, "I think it's getting a little washed out. Yeah, let me try the next setting." I pushed the button that narrowed the aperture a bit, and said, "Okay, that's it." I then took a few more pictures, and these seemed much better, so I went to a nearby bench in a shadowy part of this park to get a better look. Yuki shortly joined me.

I softly commented, "The focus looks good. Good call about the aperture. This one has some nice color balance."

She explained, "The lighting here is a little brighter than the previous one."

"You're really handy with a camera," I commented, just to be complimentary.

"I worked for a private investigating firm for a time," she added.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "It was Queen's Bluff Agency. I don't suppose you've heard of it."

"No, I have," I said, suddenly recognizing the name like I had heard it yesterday. "That was the top one in its field."

"So, you do know about them?" she asked.

"Huh," I said. "Small world."

"Yes," she agreed.

The name of the agency had sent a flood of happy memories into my mind that I had somehow completely walled off for a long time.

"I had a friend who tried to get into that," I explained.

"Did he become a PI?" she asked.

"He tried to," I answered, "but he couldn't quite get his foot in the door. Six interviews, and then slam. Thanks, but no thanks."

"Oh," she said. "That's too bad."

"Yeah," I added. "It was his dream job."

It was strange, how all these memories had been lurking in my mind, and I took a few moments reflecting on them.

"I haven't thought about that in a long time," I told her. "Strange, though. Seems like it just happened not too long ago."

"Fourteen years ago?" she guessed.

"That's right," I said. "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess," she answered.

- x -

Having all this good fortune and all these reawakened sunny thoughts made me suddenly feel like I was the luckiest man on Earth, so I guess it's no surprise that there were dark shadows lurking around the corners of those happy thoughts. I should have guessed that this was coming, but I was in such a good mood that I never would have guessed that it would suddenly become the darkest mood of my life.

When we returned to our room to pack, I was just starting to wonder where Yuki had run off to when she returned, carrying a couple of small boxes.

"I purchased a few more souvenirs," she said.

"Okay," I said.

"You have those travel guides?" she asked me.

"I've packed them up," I replied. "How much time is left?" I wondered, looking around. I answered for myself, "Ten minutes."

"You seem to have something in your eyes," she noticed.

"Do I?" I asked, stopping to look in a mirror.

I then noticed that tears were oddly streaming down my otherwise casually cheerful face. It was very weird. Like suddenly seeing tears flowing from a statue.

"I should leave," Yuki softly offered.

"No, it's okay," I said, trying to assure her. "Weird."

I wiped my face, and then sat on the bed to try and discover for myself why this was happening to me.

"I can't believe this," I said. "Why the hell am I...?"

Yuki told me, "Your friend who tried to be a PI. You were close to him?"

"That's right," I answered. "I mean, we were just friends. We weren't all that close."

Yeah. No, we were close, actually. I suddenly felt a surge of emotion and some memories sprang to mind that confirmed it.

"I mean, sure," I continued. "We went to middle school together. We went to high school together. We shared an apartment through college."

Having acknowledged all this, I began to remember how all that ended, and it felt like a heavy weight suddenly fell on top of my head.

"Oh my God..." I softly complained. "Why is this happening now? After so long?"

"You were close," Yuki insisted. "That's why."

There was no escaping that fact, and I remembered with some difficulty that I never really appreciated the fact that we had been close, even when we had been together.

"Your friend was Kunikida?" she guessed.

"That's right," I admitted.

"I apologize," she said, sitting next to me on the bed. "I feel that I am partly responsible for what transpired."

"It wasn't your fault," I told her. "He got stabbed in a mugging. You couldn't have known that would happen."

Yuki insisted, "His situation was due to his confusion about a foray into a position at that agency. Is that not correct?"

I nodded and added, "He was upset because he felt like he hadn't earned a position."

"As I suspected," Yuki softly stated.

"Are you saying he was wrong?" I asked, taking a moment to look at her.

"Yes," she answered. "He did not lack a suitable rite of passage qualification. His mistake was thinking that the president of that company was an honest man."

Having shared all this, I began to realize myself what had happened. Kunikida had become characteristically disappointed with himself, internalized it all, and decided to try and "redeem" himself by making himself work in more difficult surroundings. He'd ended up working at a bar in the red light district, and had found himself caught up in some kind of situation. I never really listened to the details. I was too stunned to believe it at the time.

Yuki continued, "I only applied because I wanted to expose that company's corrupted management. I applied with several dishonest statements on my own applications, and I was only hired after I suitably impressed the president with a few strategic confessions of my own."

"Okay," I said, wiping my face again.

"There is nothing strange about your grief," she insisted.

"It is strange," I softly protested. "I've never cried in my life. Not once."

"Never?" she asked.

"Never," I answered. "Not when my mother broke up with my father, not when my first girlfriend dumped me, not even back when I was nearly killed that one time when I was nine. I was dragged into a forest behind the local temple and held up against a tree by two other boys while another boy punched me in the gut for ten minutes. They then put a bag over my head and punched me in the face a few times. Even through all that, I never cried."

I had another odd moment as I realized that I was only now remembering that incident behind the temple. There was another thing I hadn't thought of in a long time, and that made my eyes bleed tears again completely beyond my ability to stop it.

"Have you ever cried like this?" I asked, trying to find some humor in all this.

"I've done worse than this," she admitted.

"Really?" I asked.

"When I was in high school," she explained, "there was this boy I liked that Suzumiya was dating."

"Oh?" I prompted.

"I had only met her," she continued, "but she noticed right away how much I enjoyed looking at him. He was like a philosopher Adonis with the most disarming smile I had ever seen."

I suddenly wanted to punch this guy she was describing in the face, but I wasn't even sure why just yet.

Yuki continued, "She told me to go after him and even set us up on our first date. But..."

"But..." I said, thinking this was not going to be pleasant.

She took a long breath and added, "I could never get past the fact that he had been hers for the first year. I became quickly disappointed by his rambling complaints about his family's financial difficulties and showed him the door. Later that night, I cried like a baby for at least an hour."

"I'm sorry," I said, starting to laugh in spite of my tears.

"Why do you apologize?" she asked.

"You've clearly had it worse than me," I answered, hoping she wouldn't be too offended by my joke here. She looked away, and I thought she might become offended, but she didn't.

- x -

When we returned to my apartment later that day, I had to admit that going to that conference had been a good idea. I definitely felt like a new man. I wasn't in a hurry to prove it, however. I sat at my TV with a bowl of instant ramen, and I noticed Yuki lit herself a cigarette.

"You like being a mercenary?" I asked.

"I have developed an affection for my work," she answered.

"I guess it beats being bored," I added.

"It's preferable to the alternatives," she explained.

"Which are?" I wondered.

She smirked and casually added, "I don't wish to see this world erupt in fiery death in my lifetime."

"So, you really are a superhero?" I concluded, a little amazed that we'd arrived at that.

"My motives are not so noble," she admitted, "but I suppose you could call me that."

"I don't suppose Miss Asakura factors into all this..." I wistfully remarked.

"What makes you think that?" she asked.

"Just a hunch," I answered. "I get the feeling she would enjoy mercenary work, too."

"How did you decide to join the SDF?" Yuki suddenly asked.

"That?" I said, "Oh, that was just because my father told me I should be a sailor like him. 'It really builds character,' he told me."

"Did it?"

"And how. Before I joined up, I was just a spineless nobody. Now, I'm a spined nobody."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"No. It was mostly a lot of pointless training. Getting up before the crack of dawn on a half-size cot in a stinking battle cruiser to do going-through-the-motions scrub work. 'Blisters, sores, and scars,' as one of my shipmates liked to say. I'm surprised I lived through my three years of duty."

"What rank did you get to?"

"O-3," I answered. I then smiled and added, "That's 'seaman' to you civilians."

"I see," she said, overlooking my lousy attempt at humor.

"Still got my dress blues," I offered.

"That's okay," she said. "I believe you."

I explained, "I just thought you might... You know..."

"I don't have a uniform fetish," she casually remarked, "if that's what you're implying."

"Okay," I said.

"Asakura, on the other hand..."

"Right."

"My fetishes are all related to reading."

"Oh. Yeah, I should have guessed that."

- x -

Late that night in my bedroom, I suddenly awoke to the sound of Haruhi's voice, screaming right through the wall.

She shouted, "Hey! Harlequin! Keep it down! Some of us are trying to work!"

I sat up and said, "What the heck?"

Yuki replied, "It's just Suzumiya. She likes to annoy me this way."

I then said, "Oh, okay."

I noticed how Yuki was sitting on the floor next to my bed. She had been reading a book with a small, glowing bookmark.

"You should return to sleep," she said.

I lay back down, but I found I couldn't quite relax completely for some reason. I then got up again.

"What're you reading?" I asked.

Yuki held up the book and pointed the bookmark at the cover.

"Oh, okay," I said. "Is it any good?"

"Yes," she answered.

"I should probably try that out."

"Do you enjoy historical fiction?"

"I've read a few, from time to time."

"Okay."

I then discovered what was bothering me, and I asked her, "Yuki?"

"Yes?" she said.

"I love you," I told her. "You know?"

"Yes," she answered. "Same here."

"That didn't sound too abrupt, did it?" I wondered.

"No," she replied. "I think that was perfect timing."

"Thanks," I said, laying back down. "I guess Miss Suzumiya does have her usefulness."


	4. Hard Headed Woman

Chapter 4: Hard-Headed Woman

If the previous week was like waking up from a long nightmare, this week became like the subsequent staggering out of bed. I had a long time to reflect on everything that had happened, and the pleasant face of Yuki was like a constant reminder that I couldn't just discard it all as a dream. I once again faced the despair of my poverty, the horror of the thought of what Haruhi aimed to do with me, the disgust at myself of my betrayal of Harlequin (weird as that might sound), the supreme fear that I might somehow suddenly lose Yuki, and the more usual fear that I might suddenly lose my job. More than ever, I began to rely on my books for mental stimulation, my coworkers and my fantasy TV heroes for moral support, and my image of Harlequin for inspiration. It all made me oddly frustrated with Yuki when she began reading the books I suddenly wanted to read or when she began watching TV shows I didn't want to see. I chided myself as an easily annoyed fool, but that only served to make me more depressed.

Thus, I found myself the subsequent Sunday, wondering again why I was awake so early (as I have done every Sunday since leaving the SDF) while sitting in front of the TV, sipping my morning coffee. Unsurprisingly, Haruhi abruptly entered, locked the door behind her, and announced, "Good morning!" She then had the nerve to look disappointed when she asked me, "You're awake again?"

"Good morning," I returned. "And please stop doing that."

"What?" she said, momentarily confused. Then she realized and said, "Oh..." She then turned and unlocked the door, explaining, "Sorry, force of habit."

"Don't ask me to have breakfast with you again," I warned her.

"Why?" she asked. "You have an aversion to church?"

As she approached me, I began thinking about all that. I think I would have enjoyed any kind of church where the someone at the center of it was sincerely trying their best to help their fellow man. It again hit me like a spray of cold water in the face that this woman simply couldn't find that warmth of feeling in her own heart, and that had made her reject her own extremely generous position (whatever that may be).

"I have an aversion to your church," I explained. "I don't think I want to know what kind of church it is."

"What?" she said, looking annoyed. "It's just an ordinary Buddhist type setup. I would have thought you'd be cool with that kind of thing."

Like that matters. I then asked, "So, what's with the Western style theme?"

"I just like it, okay?" she answered. "It doesn't have to mean anything."

She came up to right behind the sofa and leaned against the back of it, smirking at me. I couldn't see it, but I could definitely feel her smirk. I realized with some annoyance that it did matter to me that Haruhi was undermining my youthful faith. Her? A Buddhist? My mind recoiled at the notion.

"You thought I was running some kooky Christian cult, didn't you?" she asked.

"No," I lied.

"Admit it," she playfully insisted.

"Anyway," I noted, "it's raining out there. I'm not really interested in leaving the house, today."

Haruhi then walked around the sofa and sat next to me. For someone with such grave expressions and being middle-aged, it seemed strange that she liked to sit on her feet and fold her arms like a child.

"It got unexpectedly cold, too," I added.

"You just want to flirt with Ryoko, don't you?" she said, confidentially.

"No," I answered, sincerely.

"Come on," she insisted. "You don't fool me. All guys secretly think about flirting with her."

I flatly stated, "The only woman I think about seriously is Yuki." And I noticed with some further annoyance that that had been true. Over the course of a week, Ryoko had been absent from my mind. Maybe that had been why I was in such a funk.

"She is pretty serious," Haruhi said, referring to Yuki. "You know what's funny?"

"What?" I asked.

Haruhi smilingly replied, "I saw her the other day with a big ol' smile on her face. A smile!"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"And..." I prompted, wondering where she was going with this.

"I have never seen her smile in my life," she softly complained.

"Never?"

"Never."

"Not even a little...?"

"Not a smirk, not a twitch, not even a little sneer. I kind of had the impression she was an android."

I thought about everything that had happened last week, and my mind recoiled at the notion of Yuki being an android. "She's definitely not an android," I told her.

"You wouldn't know it from the way she reads all the time," Haruhi added.

"She does do that," I admitted.

Haruhi leaned closer to me and asked, "So? What's she like?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, starting to get distinctly uncomfortable with this discussion.

"I mean, in bed," she answered, confirming my fears. "Is she wild and crazy, or does she just lay there?"

"Oh God..." I said, before I could stop myself.

"Don't be like that," she casually scolded me. "I'm serious. Is she a moaner? Does she scream a lot? Is she a biter? I'll bet she's a biter."

"We are not having this conversation," I told her, very firmly.

Yuki then abruptly opened the door and entered. I was once again struck by the fact that I hadn't heard her come up the steps or anything.

"Oh, hey Yuki," Haruhi said. "We were just talking about you."

"Get out," Yuki commanded in her firm monotone, more intimidating than any kind of inflection.

"What?" Haruhi said, a little disgusted.

"You heard me," Yuki insisted.

"All right," Haruhi relented, and I could feel her rolling her eyes. "Fine. Fine." She got up and started to leave. She then added, "I know when I've worn out my welcome." She then smoothly left my apartment, closing the door behind her.

"Why do you let her treat you that way?" Yuki asked me.

"What?" I said, then suddenly noticing Shamisen enter the room.

Yuki noticed where I was looking and took notice of him. "Have you fed Shamisen?" she asked.

"Oh..." I said, suddenly remembering. "I should probably take care of that."

"That's okay," she said. "I'll do it."

Yuki went to a cabinet in the kitchen and took out a bag of cat food to fill the bowl at the floor.

"I was about to," I explained, "but then Miss Suzumiya showed up."

"Have you read her books?" she asked.

"Her books?" I said.

"Yes," she answered.

As Yuki put away the bag of food and returned to the living room, I began to think about Haruhi's novels. To call them "novels" is actually an insult to other pulp fiction, and I would rightly expect if they could feel the sting of that dishonor to challenge anyone who claimed such a thing in a duel to the death over that insult. Now, I could spend the next five hundred pages writing a detailed analysis of everything Haruhi does wrong with her novels, but suffice it to say that they are deplorably bad. She demonstrates not only an utter disrespect for the art and craft of writing, but a strange kind of unjustified pride in her lack of skill. The fact that she has the nerve to publish those abominations just shows how little respect she has for both her audience and her own reputation as a writer.

"Yeah," I answered. "I've just finished that latest volume. I can't exactly call it a potboiler. It doesn't quite rise to that relatively high level of quality."

"Have you noticed the way food works in her stories?" Yuki asked me.

"Food?" I asked.

"She uses food as a symbol for romance," Yuki explained.

"She does?" I asked, a little astounded.

Yuki added, "She can't convey ideas without the use of symbolism."

"I wasn't aware there was any symbolism," I answered, wondering how anyone could find the time to see symbolism in that forest of foibles.

As I sat there, thinking about how food had been presented in Haruhi's novels, Yuki suddenly turned toward the door, which had been standing a bit open, somehow. She then rapidly closed and locked the door in one swift, smooth motion. I then heard Haruhi's voice from outside, saying, "All right. I'm going. Sheesh."

Yuki then came back to the sofa and sat next to me.

"Is Miss Asakura seeing anyone?" I asked, suddenly remembering what Haruhi had said, earlier.

"Why do you ask?" Yuki wondered.

"It's starting to bug me," I answered. "I mean, she isn't really a home-wrecker, is she?"

"She is," Yuki firmly stated.

"Why is she like that?" I asked. "She seems so nice."

"That is the effect of her appearance," Yuki explained.

"Okay," I said, wondering if that were really the case.

"She isn't capable of love," Yuki added. "She can only use people."

"Really?" I asked, certain that Yuki was wrong.

"Yes," she replied, sounding certain of herself.

"Is Miss Suzumiya that way?" I asked, suddenly not really certain of anything, myself.

"No," Yuki admitted.

"Okay," I said. "I only ask because I wish she'd get off my case and meet someone."

"Indeed," Yuki agreed with me.

"You want to do something today?"

"Yes."

- x -

From the look in Yuki's eyes, I should have guessed what she was up to. She had been staring at me like I was a plate of curry, so it came as no surprise when she suddenly asked me to come look at her apartment. Her apartment seems normal enough, but from the decor, it's pretty obvious that she loves being a mercenary. On her shelves weren't just books, but all kinds of useful gadgets, some of which I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be writing about. I also noticed a suspiciously solid-looking door with a huge lock on it where a closet should be, and I guessed that there was all kinds of booty in there. None of her decor pointed specifically to Harlequin, of course, but that just reminded me how much I like that character, and I could easily picture this as her headquarters. Her residence spoke of her polished, professional attitude, and that fact really drove home to me how much that "user" tag had undoubtedly injured her. My heart swelled with vicarious pride that she had endured that. Life as a mercenary may be compelling, but it can't be that easy, either.

These were thoughts I had as I drifted up out of sleep, and I found myself lying in her bed. She was sitting at the foot of the bed, reading.

"Whoa," I said. "What time is it?"

"It's about noon," she informed me.

"Oh man," I said. "I guess I was a lot more tired than I thought."

"You work too hard," she softly scolded me. "You deserve a chance to rest."

Looking at her again in this light, I began to realize that Yuki was really the same age as Haruhi. I find Yuki's maturity much more indicative of an adult, and I also reflected that even Ryoko was more mature than Haruhi. I found the thought of some philosopher Adonis thinking he could reasonably date a ten year-old as an appalling notion, and I think I really should have realized that before. I also don't think Haruhi would have set up a ten year-old on a date, childish though she may be. Haruhi is a ruthless, utterly despicable person, but even she has her limits.

Yuki took out a cigarette and lit one up. Seeing her smoke like this tugs at my heart a bit, but that just makes me adore her all the more. There are limits to what Yuki can handle, too, and I think that her addictions help her deal with it. I don't care whether people think I'm a little irresponsible to think this way, and I frankly think other people should just mind their own damn business. Yes, I'm aware of the risks. Just give it a rest.

I smiled and asked her, "You sure it isn't you that's working too hard?"

"I'm approaching a deadline," she informed me.

"Oh, okay," I said, thinking that explained her recent eagerness.

"With luck," she added, "my work will soon be completed."

"Well," I said, "that's good."

"Yes, it is," she said.

I then asked, "By 'work,' you mean what you do as Harlequin?"

"That's right," she replied.

"That character has something to do with Miss Suzumiya's church, right?" I followed up, thinking that there ought to be a connection.

I remembered then that Yuki immediately took to playing a lot of Poker with me, which is really just a battle of attrition in the form of a card game, and that made me realize that she was preoccupied with similar situations. I think she had enjoyed discovering my odd tendency to bluff for no particular reason, and it definitely caused her some frustration when she assumed I was bluffing when I really wasn't. I remember thinking several times how Yuki was about to get outraged at how my hands turned out, but then she would slowly accept the outcome, no doubt filing that information away for some future use.

I felt a bit like bluffing again, so I guessed, "She scatters her followers while you gather them back, right?"

"You have that backwards," Yuki corrected me.

"Really?" I asked, a little dismayed to be completely wrong again.

"Yes," she insisted.

"I couldn't help noticing a pattern," I said, "but I guess I have no idea how it works exactly."

This pattern I was referring to was the odd coincidence that anyone connected to Harlequin always seemed to say that having a friend was valuable in "these dark times," that they realized her work went beyond merely what they had been led to believe was true, and that Haruhi often depicted people in her novels saying the same thing about religion. They would then also refer to her as a menace, and that she should just go away, but that part always varied in pitch and intensity. I had guessed that Yuki was trying to help Haruhi by accumulating people that would eventually bring her to a better appreciation of her role in that church, but that had just been me giving Haruhi a little too much credit. No way would she ever start to see the light, so to speak.

"There's no value in reinforcing Suzumiya's insanity," Yuki added, which seemed to hammer that point home.

"That seems a little harsh," I commented.

Yuki explained, "As much benefit as there is in her accidental services, the potential harm to the future is immense."

"You mean that she might start a nuclear war?" I guessed, and that was just me playing my hand way too loose.

"No," Yuki answered, calling my bluff. "There is no preventing that from happening. I can only delay it."

I suddenly felt like Yuki had gone all-in on that statement, and I then realized that this situation was a lot bigger than I had appreciated.

"For now," she continued, "I am content to plan beyond that event. I wish to preserve mankind beyond that terrible tragedy."

"That seems a little cynical," I said, convinced that she was overreaching.

"Is it?" she asked.

"Yeah," I insisted.

"I wish that it were," she admitted.

"Okay," I said, thinking this really needed to be sorted out. "Let's say that you're right and the world does start blowing itself up. What's so bad about what Miss Suzumiya's doing? I don't see where the immensity is."

Yuki smoothly answered, "She has the power to be very convincing. That can affect a small but significant number to begin reinventing a world that more closely suits her beliefs. Her beliefs, however, do not suit a distressed population. They would inevitably cause further disorder at a time when disorder would not be tolerable."

"This is why Harlequin exists?" I guessed. "To save the world from the Eye In the Sky?"

"No," she answered. "Harlequin exists because there are limits to what I can do."

"I don't understand," I said, wondering what her limits were.

"You don't need to," she remarked.

"Do you need me?" I asked her.

Her work and our love were all tangled up in this weird situation, and without me understanding where I stood seemed like a very dangerous path. I honestly wondered whether I would survive, and it seemed to me like a bit of an insult that Yuki would refuse to explain it. The insult came from Haruhi, of course. I understood that, but for Yuki to go along with that seemed like something oddly out-of-character for her.

"I mean," I explained, "I like this arrangement. I have to say, I like being with you."

"It is a good arrangement," Yuki agreed.

"But this was all Suzumiya's idea, right?" I said.

"Was it?" Yuki wondered.

I reminded her, "She chose me, after all."

Yuki added, "She thinks she can bait me into an emotional reaction to a difficult situation. She hopes to use you to that effect."

"She did a good job," I commented.

"Yes," Yuki agreed again, "but I already anticipate her little trap."

"I'm glad you say that," I told her, somewhat relieved. "I really don't want to see anything bad happen to her."

"I agree," Yuki added. "We are old friends."

"But there is going to be a big fight before this is done?"

"Possibly."

"Okay. But just keep in mind that I'll be on Harlequin's side."

"I'm counting on it."

- x -

As much as I relish the thought of being a valued part of Harlequin's plans, it really strains my dignity to think of myself as a pawn in her little game of chess with Haruhi. I had to wonder how a person could figure out how they should feel about such a situation, and it occurred to me that that was really up to me. If it really were just up to me, I would thoroughly enjoy all this, but it also occurred to me that I should stop and think of how my friends and relatives would feel. I may not think much of my prospects for a long life or happiness, but I think my mother and my little sister would have something to say about it. My mother, in particular, would be very upset if she knew about any of this, and yes, that's even compared to the tantrum she threw when I announced that I was joining the SDF.

Speaking of home-wrecking, I was just sitting at my sofa, watching TV and wondering what it would feel like to cause so much distress for a family, when Ryoko decided to come over. I heard a knocking at the door, and I answered, "Yeah, come in."

Ryoko entered the foyer and asked, "You mind?"

"No, come on in," I said, very glad to see her again, after having not seen her in a week.

"Thanks," she said, soon entering the living room. "What are you watching?" she then asked.

"It's nothing," I replied. "You wanted to speak with me?"

"You mind if I have a seat?" she asked, and I suddenly felt like I was about to be lectured by a boss.

"No," I answered. "It's fine. Go right ahead."

"Thanks, again," she said, smoothly sitting down next to me and smiling warmly. "You feeling okay?" she then asked.

"I feel great," I answered, bluffing my way through this sudden nervousness. "How about you?"

"I feel terrific," she said, and her wonderfully casual way of saying it forced me to believe it.

"You look like you have something on your mind," I added. "What is it?"

"Oh dear," she said. "You can see right through me, huh?"

I guessed, "It's about Yuki, right?"

"Right again," she answered.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Well..." she replied. "How can I put this delicately...?"

I was like a deer caught in headlights at this point. I could only sit and wait for her to make up her own mind on word choice.

She started, "I've known Miss Nagato all my life, and she's..."

"Yes?" I said, getting a little annoyed. "Just spit it out."

"She special," Ryoko answered, "you know?"

"Yeah, she is," I agreed very sincerely. "I like her a lot."

"I don't mean special in that way," Ryoko corrected me. "I mean... she's special."

"Special?" I asked.

"As in..." she started again, "special."

"I don't get it," I said, about to get seriously upset.

"Oh my..." she said, probably sensing that I was becoming impatient. "What I'm trying to say is that she sometimes lacks a certain..."

"Oh..." I said, "You mean to say that she's stupid."

"That's not what I mean, at all," Ryoko vigorously defended herself. "I mean, sure. She isn't quite as intelligent as the rest of my kind..."

Her kind? Does she mean aliens? Why on Earth would Ryoko and Yuki keep dancing around that? I sat there and marveled that she could keep up this charade for so long.

"She gets these crazy ideas," Ryoko continued, "and then she gets terribly disappointed when things don't work out."

"Okay," I said.

"Just keep in mind that, when that happens, she tends to say a lot of really cruel, spiteful sounding things."

"Okay."

"Please, just remember not to take it too personally. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Thanks," she added, very relieved.

"Is there something I should know about?" I asked in my most serious tone.

"It may be nothing," she said. She then put a hand on my shoulder and added, "Also, try to remember that if there's anything you need, anything at all... Please, come see me."

"Huh?" I said, wondering what that could be about.

"I don't mean it in that way," she added. "I mean it in a purely platonic sense. All right?"

"Sure," I answered.

She let go of my shoulder and asked, "You've heard Miss Suzumiya tell you that I stole her second husband?"

"Yeah," I answered, "she told me about that."

"Oh jeez..." Ryoko said, fretting. "I didn't really steal him. It's just... He kept coming on to me and coming on to me... You know?"

I smiled and said, "Yeah, I can see that."

"I just went a little crazy," she added. "That's all. It meant nothing to me."

"I understand," I said.

"You do?" she said. "Thanks. That's a relief."

Yeah. Ryoko Asakura is not one to be trusted. That's what I understood.

"Anyway," she continued, "like I said. If you ever need anything, or even if you just want a sympathetic ear, I'll be right here."

"Sure," I said. "Any particular reason?"

"Well," she answered, thinking for a moment, "I know what a considerate and sensitive man you are. You might find it terribly disturbing if things turn out the way I'm thinking..."

"Oh, okay," I said. "I got it."

"You do?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "Thanks, a lot. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome," she said, very sincerely.

As she got up and started to leave, I began to wonder if I could somehow exploit this to my advantage in readiness toward a potential conflict with Haruhi. I wasn't sure, but I began thinking that I really should keep Ryoko on my side in case Haruhi proved to be a problem.

"Hey, Miss Asakura?" I said.

"Yes?" she asked.

I replied, "I don't care what anyone says. You're okay in my book."

"Thanks," she said, very brightly smiling. I think I almost blinded myself looking at that smile.

She then left, while I continued to ponder the mystery of what she had been trying to warn me about. "That was weird," I told myself.

A moment later, Haruhi entered and reflexively locked the door behind her. She looked upset, so I didn't even have the heart to remind her that her constant door-locking only served to annoy me. "What a day!" she complained, approaching the living room like she owned the place.

"No, I don't mind," I said, facetiously. "Come on in."

"Huh?" she said. "Oh, a wise guy..." She then sat down next to me in her usual way and asked, "That Ryoko bitch was just here?"

"Yeah," I answered, "and we did nothing but trash-talk you."

"Hilarious," Haruhi remarked, very annoyed with my playful banter.

"I'm just sitting here, watching TV," I complained casually.

"Yeah," she answered. "Next, you'll tell me you weren't spending the morning getting it on with a certain someone."

I smiled and softly asked her, "And it just burns you up, doesn't it?"

"That's right," she softly told me. "Keep playing with fire."

"I'm sorry," I said, sincerely remorseful. I had forgotten that Haruhi is a little "special" too. "Yeah. I'm like a newlywed. You expect me to restrain myself?"

"Today is a day for restraining yourself," she said, somewhat severely.

"Keep this up," I added, "and you'll soon be in the Pure Land."

"Oh God!" she complained. "Any more of that, and I think I'll throw up."

I shook my head in wonder and remarked, "My grandmother would lecture me for an hour if she heard me talking like that."

"Your grandmother?" she wondered.

I explained, "She's a devout Zen Buddhist. She used to lecture me all the time back when I was young and getting in trouble."

Haruhi smirked and added, "I'll bet you just loved the attention. You got in a lot of trouble, right?"

"Hey, that's true," I said, a little surprised at that. "Maybe I did just love the attention."

"Oh, yeah," she said. "I've seen a million guys like you go through my church. They all scoff and talk big about how they know everything. Ten minutes later, they're chanting and praying with the rest of the cretins."

I then said, "It's really amazing that you keep running that church. And with a Western style breakfast, on top of it."

"It doesn't just offer a Western style breakfast," she commented. "The whole place is Western style."

"Really?" I asked.

"You didn't notice?" she said, astonished.

"So," I asked, "you made the whole place Western style?"

"It wasn't really my idea," she said. "Yuki was the one who told me to go that way."

"Really?" I asked again.

"Yeah, really," she answered, a little annoyed with that question. "She said it would give it a certain novelty. I mean, I kind of like it, but it gets really old after fifteen years."

"The food's not bad," I added. "I have to admit that."

"Are you coming on to me?" she asked, strangely upset.

"What?" I said.

"You're talking about food," she explained.

So, now I can't even talk about food? "Oh..." I said, getting strangely upset, myself. "You know, not everyone talks in symbolism. Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar." I think I belatedly realized at about this point that Haruhi was just trying to be funny in her own weird way.

"I can't believe you hate my books so much," she then complained.

"You heard what I said?" I asked, a little mortified with myself.

"I work really hard on my novels," she added.

"Sorry," I said, thinking that I was sorry on her behalf rather than my own. I think I work harder on breathing than she does on her novels.

Haruhi then explained, "I keep running that church because Harlequin won't let me leave."

"She won't?" I said. "I thought she was driving people away."

"That's just the thing," Haruhi agreed. "She drives people away, and that gives the place a reputation as a special place to go."

Haruhi really was stuck in a terrible dilemma. I then asked her, "Why don't you just quit?"

"I can't just quit," she replied. "I'm like a deity at that place."

"A deity?" I said.

"If I quit," she explained, "they'll just make a statue of me and worship that in my place. I have to make them stop, first."

I then offered, "Why don't you just tell them you're not a deity and then tell them to go home?"

"What?" she said, now genuinely upset. "Are you stupid? If I do that, they'll kill me! They'll martyr me, and then say that I'm their savior."

I had thought my suggestion was a good one, but I had to admit that there was something compelling about what Haruhi was saying. She no doubt understood the problem better than I could.

She then added, "People believe all this stuff because they hate the thought of not believing in it. I have to do something crazier than what they're afraid of. It's the only way I can ever be truly free."

"You could say that you converted to something else," I suggested.

She smoothly countered, "And then everyone would convert along with me. How would that fix it?"

I started to see that this was a much bigger problem than I had thought. Even if she told them that she was an atheist, that still wouldn't change the fact that they worshiped her like a deity, and they would stubbornly refuse to quit doing so.

"Any way you slice it," she complained, "I got royally shafted."

"How did you become a deity in the first place?" I asked, thinking there might be a way out through that.

"My first husband," she replied. "He was this devout Nichiren Buddhist till he spent some time with me. Then, all of a sudden, he decided that I was 'the Divine of Heaven,' or some kind of crap like that."

I have to say, for a devoutly religious man to suddenly go that nuts and erect a cult like that around Haruhi, there must have been something that went horribly wrong. It certainly wouldn't be easy for her to extract herself. I sighed and said, "I'm sorry."

"Thanks," she said. "But, you know, back then it was great. I loved it. What did I know? I was just a stupid high school girl."

"Wow," I added. "You really have a weird karma, there."

"Funny you should say that," she commented.

"Why is that?" I asked.

She replied, "My church has a special monasterial order. That's mainly what the compound is for. Anyway, they have this chant they like to use with me. It goes, 'The one who is both old and young / The one who befriends future mankind / The one who wields ethereal warriors / The one who confounds the wisest in the heavens.'"

"What the heck is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"It's just some weird stuff my first husband came up with," she answered.

"So," I realized, "I guess there's really no avoiding it."

"Avoiding what?" she asked.

"A big fight with Harlequin," I answered.

"That's right," she said.

"You know who I'm going to be rooting for, right?" I asked.

She replied, "I know, and I'm counting on it."


	5. But I Might Die Tonight

- Chapter 5: But I Might Die Tonight

Over the next week, it started to become clear to me that I wasn't going to be looking for a new job, anytime soon. My bosses made it clear to me that they were impressed with my performance and were considering giving me a raise as soon as the opportunity presented itself. They weren't about to promote me, just yet. I still had the mandatory probation period to endure, first. At this good news, I began to cheer up, but then I noticed my money situation wasn't quite as good as I was thinking. I realized I'd have to be making a few cutbacks for a little while. Oh well. You win some, you lose some.

Speaking of winning, I was starting to get quite good at playing card games with Yuki. I began to seriously take her to the cleaners at Poker, one day. It even got to the point where Yuki had a bit of temper tantrum and went to go sulk for a while. It was cute to see her like that, but I hated the thought of her feeling that way, and we soon made up. I think making up is something I like even more than making out, although I feel a little bad admitting that. What makes me feel even worse is that I think I'm starting to like Haruhi a little bit. I didn't really care for her, at first, but she's starting to rub off on me. I think this comes from the fact that Haruhi obviously has a conscience, but it's something that she's completely unfamiliar with. I kind of feel like an older brother to her in that sense.

I saw Harlequin in the news a couple more times. Yuki was no doubt raking in the cash, so I had no worries on her account. As a matter of fact, I found her a few rare books on quantum chromodynamics, and she was so delighted that she threw her arms around me and kissed me right then and there. She then spent the evening reading them over and over, and I'd never heard her laugh so hard. Ryoko was proving to be a bit of a problem. I'd ask her about what she'd been warning me the other day, but she would dodge the question each time, saying something uncertain or about things still being up in the air. It was very frustrating.

My new home was turning into something I couldn't imagine living without. More than that, I'm finding it harder and harder to believe that life was ever fun or interesting without Yuki. She was becoming more and more open with me, and becoming increasingly likely to know just what I needed to hear. In fact, she has the ability to say exactly as much as needs to be said without lingering too long on the obvious or leaving too much unsaid. She also has a gift for being obnoxious just long enough to make it seem like she wants to really irritate me, but not so long that I start to feel that she's doing it in spite of my feelings. It makes it all the sweeter when she is being kind to me, and I don't feel obligated to play the bad guy in our conversations like I do with people like Ryoko.

In spite of my difficulties with Ryoko, I should mention that even she has her funny little quirks. I once caught her listening to music on my stereo and dancing like a total maniac. She then noticed me and suddenly acted like I had caught her looking at porn. I just applauded while she blushed like a schoolgirl. Awesome. Speaking of porn, Ryoko really chafes at the mention of sex. In fact, as much as Haruhi likes talking about sex, that's about how much Ryoko hates the subject. It's weird, but it kind of endears Ryoko to me a little. I also finally got Ryoko to tell me what she does for a living. Believe it or not, she attends parties for a living. And she makes a ton more money than I do in the process. The night she told me that, I was so bitter and upset about it that I refused to watch TV or doing anything with Yuki. I just sat on my bed and steamed the whole evening.

With all these fun things happening, I should have known that something really terrible was about to happen. It never fails that I have fun times and then a terrible tragedy occurs directly afterward. You'd have thought I'd have learned by now. Sunday morning rolled around, and I found myself tagging along with Haruhi to church. She was being weirdly serious that morning, even by her standards, so I absolutely had to go along just to see what was up.

"You know what the problem is with doomsday cults?" she asked me, finally taking a moment from grimly driving her car to church to start a conversation.

"The fact that they exist at all?" I answered.

"I mean, aside from that," she added.

"Hmm..." I said, wondering what doomsday had to do with anything.

She answered, "The problem is that they aren't prepared to actually carry out their doomsday plans."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, suddenly realizing that this was not going to be a nice conversation.

"I mean, nothing happens," she answered. "Everyone expects some aliens to come carry them away or an asteroid to come crashing into the Earth or a huge flood to erupt from some magical depths... But what really happens is that the leader just stands around with their thumb up their butt looking like a complete idiot when nothing happens. Cause, let's face it. Unless you actually do something, nothing is exactly what's going to happen."

"So..." I said, thinking for a moment. "The leader looks stupid and everyone goes home, right?"

"Wrong!" she answered. "What inevitably happens is maybe half the people get disgusted and go home."

"Oh," I said, thinking I was being too simplistic again.

"You weed out the ones who are weak in faith," she casually explained. "That's all. And that would be very bad."

"Why is that?" I asked.

"Well, think about it," she said. "You're standing there, waiting for something apocalyptic to happen. You believe that something should really happen. You sincerely believe that you're special, but nothing special does happen."

From the way she was phrasing this and the wistful tone in her voice, I began to think that this was really something she had gone through, herself.

"Obviously," she added, "you refuse to believe that you aren't really special. You convince yourself that you are, anyway. You start looking for ways to make that special something happen."

"This sounds familiar..." I said.

Haruhi glanced at me and said, "So, you've heard about my middle school days, huh? Well, the point of all this is that people don't just stop being faithful because this special event doesn't happen. They typically convince themselves that they were shown divine mercy and a mandate to spread the gospel. They solidify their beliefs, even going so far as to create their own groups in the effort to make themselves seem special."

Something about all that was really funny to me, and I laughed, saying, "Oh, wow."

"I see nothing funny about it," she told me, her tone getting dark. "Could you imagine if that happened at my church? I'd have people pestering me the rest of my life. I'd be stuck driving this tank around all the time."

"So, you have to actually threaten to blow up the Earth?" I asked.

"Exactly," she replied. "The people in my flock aren't stupid. I can't just go 'boo' and expect them to run away. That isn't good enough. These are people I've trained for years to keep an open mind and to think for themselves. I have to be absolutely convincing."

"Sounds like a problem," I agreed.

"What do you think I've been planning for the past ten years?" she remarked.

That started a whole series of speculations in my mind that I didn't even want to consider. A lot can happen in ten years.

Haruhi continued, "I need them to be absolutely positive that I'm preparing to take over the world, and that I'm fully prepared to kill a few billion people to do it. That's the only sure-fire way to do it."

"Really?" I asked.

"What else would work?" she shot back.

What else would work? The more I thought about it, the more I came to the conclusion that she would need to start a huge conflict with her believers. It was the only way to make them into non-believers, which is what she clearly wanted. To do that, she would have to convince them that she was becoming greedy for something, and that may as well mean world domination. If this is all just hypothetical, that would be the end result. Ideally, Yuki would play a part, as well. Yuki would have the role of hero, swooping in at some point just in time to save the day, somehow. People would see that Haruhi really wasn't a deity, even if they continued to value her as a friend. Well, my mind was in a bit of a muddle, but I could start to see the virtue of her plan.

Haruhi explained, "The church is their home, their life. For many of them, it's their entire world. They don't know anything else. I can't truly drive them away unless I can threaten the very land under their feet."

I then suggested, "So, why don't you just appoint a successor and have them deal with it?"

"Who could I trust to do that?" she asked. "You?"

"No," I answered. Me? In charge of a church that worships Haruhi? That's a laugh.

"I can't trust Yuki to do it," she added. "She hates this church as much as I do. I'd feel like I was laying all my sins on her head."

"Have you asked her?" I asked.

"I can't bring myself to do that," Haruhi admitted. "I hate the thought of imposing on her. No, I'm just going to have to deal with this myself."

"You could just run away," I said, coming back to this idea. I didn't think Haruhi had really given this option a fair shot.

"Become a recluse?" she said. "I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"It's complicated. All right? There's more going on here than just the church."

"Like what?"

"Well... I didn't want to have to mention this, but I have this corporation I've been running..."

Great. More complications. Just what this problem needs. Haruhi really knows how to cause trouble.

She added, "I've mostly been using it to make some money on the side, but I did intend it to act as a kind of bailout program. Maybe you've heard of it? I called it 'SOS Industries.'"

"SOS?" I asked, having never heard of it.

"Yeah," she answered. "As in, rescue me. That kind of thing."

"And?" I prompted.

"And," she replied, "I can't expect to keep running my company if I'm sitting on a mountain in Tibet. Look, this is all stuff I've thought about. There's really only this one way to handle the situation."

"So, what's your plan?" I asked.

She replied, "Every morning, we have a breakfast and then announcements. It's mostly stuff about who's got what rummage sale or a lost doggy to find. You know? The usual, boring old crap. Then I remind people in some random way to be nice to each other, and my ministers lead us in the usual chant of the day. I only go there once a week, so I don't wear out my welcome."

"Okay," I said.

Haruhi seemed very amused as she continued, "Anyway, today's announcement will go a little differently. Imagine the look on their faces when I tell them about my operatives I have working on knocking down power lines, blowing up bridges, blockading the airports."

A scary thought then occurred to me, "You don't actually...?"

"Oh, hell no," she answered. "But, hey. I got all this power and influence, so it could be true for all they know. That's when the first wave of deserters will hit."

"You already know people are going to leave?" I asked.

She explained, "There's this little tool I like to use called 'social influence.' I've become quite handy with it, over the years. Anyway, I have a group of confederates in my flock that I've been saving for this occasion. Special, hand-picked people who don't actually believe I'm a deity but are completely loyal to my corporation. These guys will have their roles to play, as well. When I give certain key phrases, they stand up and deliver their lines or whatever."

"I see," I said.

"The first two waves will just be the walk-outs," she added. "Hopefully, they'll inspire most of the others to leave. That's when I start laying the plan on them. Harlequin and the Eye In the Sky."

"So," I guessed, "your plan is this fight you're going to have with Yuki?"

"Huh?" she said, "No, that comes later. Actually, 'Harlequin' and 'Eye In the Sky' are code phrases for actual top secret military projects in the US."

This was so bizarre that I didn't even want to think about what the connection was.

Thankfully, Haruhi added, "I know. Weird coincidence, right?"

"I'm almost afraid to ask," I remarked.

"You don't want to know," she said. "Trust me. You could probably figure out what 'Eye In the Sky' is, but that 'Harlequin' project gives me nightmares."

I guessed, "It's related to nuclear weapons, right?"

"Yeah," she answered. "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess," I replied.

"Anyway," she added, "if I told you what it was, I'd have to kill you. How I wish that were a joke. I'm not going to give away the actual secrets of that operation, but I will have to tell a story similar to it."

"So," I asked, "that's when the third wave hits?"

"Right," she replied. "By then, I'll have scared off even the majority of my monks. Anyone remaining will be a truly hopeless psychopath that I'll have to assume is only hanging around for the thrill of it. That's when the war of words will break out. A war of words is the only thing you can use to satisfy those assholes. It'll either be me ranting like a lunatic against Harlequin's absence, or..."

"She'll be there," I said, very sure of myself.

"I have a feeling she'll have something to say," Haruhi added, "though I have no idea what. Yuki doesn't really say much to me. Of course, I never tell her anything."

"Really?" I asked, suddenly wondering how Yuki knew a number of things about Haruhi.

"Yeah," Haruhi insisted. "I can never really tell what she's thinking."

"Is that a problem?" I said, a little reflexively.

"Heh," she said, smirking. "There's that old Zen philosophy. I was wondering if I'd get to hear a bit of your grandmother's lectures."

"Jeez..." I said, suddenly remembering a time when my grandmother had actually responded to me that way.

Haruhi continued, "We huff and puff, and then I hand you over. A grease fire 'accidentally' breaks out in the kitchen, and I give some dramatic speech about fires of Hell and all that. I get 'assassinated' and have my death scene. All very melodramatic. Not too melodramatic, I hope?"

"No," I answered, "that sounds about right."

"Okay," she said.

"You aren't worried about actually getting killed, are you?" I asked.

"Are you?" she said.

"It's going to get crazy, isn't it?" I then asked.

"Just a few moments of crazy," she softly responded, "and then I can go back to living a normal life."

"You know," I remarked, "you should write about your real life. That might sell a lot better than that crappy fiction you write."

"Oh man," she complained. "No way. No one would ever believe the weird stuff I've seen."

- x -

When we reached the compound, I could see that Haruhi really wasn't ready for all this. She looked really tense.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, doubtlessly psyching herself up again.

"You don't really want to go through with this, do you?" I guessed.

"Oh God!" she complained. "Please tell me I'm having a bad dream."

I smiled and remarked, "This looks familiar."

"What?" she asked, looking at me. "You ever have one of these days?"

"I used to go through this every day in the SDF," I said, matter-of-factly.

"I'm having some serious second thoughts," she admitted.

"It's just a job," I told her. "Or, in this case, you're just quitting a job."

"That's all the SDF was to you?" she asked. "A job?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Come on. It won't kill you to quit a job. You'll just focus on other things."

"That's right," she told herself. "I'm just quitting my job. Of course, in this case, I am the job."

It wasn't going to be easy, quitting from her job. The only thing keeping her going at this point was the thought of what would happen if she didn't quit. She obviously hated the thought of people believing in her.

She added, "I think quitting from being yourself is a little more work than most."

"Your problem is you've never had it rough," I said. "Am I right?"

"You mean, I'm lacking in discipline?" she asked.

"That's right," I answered.

"I don't think I even understand the concept of discipline."

"Yeah... Discipline is just one of the many branch concepts of being open minded. You know that."

"Yes, I do. But knowing something in an academic sense and having experience..."

"Right. I'm starting to appreciate the wisdom of my Zen roots."

To me, Zen is really just a tool. I'd always thought of it that way, but maybe it goes a lot deeper than that. Who knows?

I added, "You've never really just meditated and waited for experience to show you the path, have you?"

"I've never really believed in it," she answered.

"It works," I insisted. "Trust me. I've done it myself countless times."

She smiled and answered, "I don't think it'll work for me, but thanks. I appreciate everything you're telling me."

"You're welcome," I said.

"I think I'm ready," she then said. "Yeah, let's go."

"Okay," I said.

"Hey, Kyon?" she asked.

I was still a little disgusted at her using that name, but I then said, "What?"

"You really have helped a lot," she admitted. "I wish I had known you when I was younger."

"You were a spaz, huh?"

"I would have really enjoyed kicking your naive butt around."

- x -

In the reception area, everything looked the same as before. Several people were already milling around in front of a buffet table. I picked up a slice of toast, and I noticed Ryoko was also there.

"Good morning!" she said, looking as radiant as usual.

"Good morning," I answered.

"You ready?" she asked.

"Are you?" I shot back. Then I realized and asked her, "Wait, you're a member of this church?"

"Of course, silly," she answered. "I'm a member of the Holy Trinity of this church."

"Really?" I asked.

She explained, "I'm the playful, irresponsible one who always shows remorse and corrects herself. Miss Suzumiya is the stern and serious one who never proves to be wrong no matter what she says, and Miss Nagato just stands around, looking mysterious."

"Why have I never seen you guys here?" I asked.

"Well..." she answered. "It's all very complicated. Suffice it to say that today is the day that we are all the most out-of-character. Since I'm usually never around, I'm going to be by Miss Suzumiya's side. In fact, I plan to save her life."

"So, you're her bodyguard?"

"That's right."

"You don't think you'll actually have to save her life, do you? I mean, it's all just pretend, right?"

"You think there aren't people who might use this chance to try it?"

It was very odd, that thought. At once, it seemed like the stupidest thing in the world, but then I realized how obvious it was that someone really would try it.

"Yeah," Ryoko remarked wistfully, "Miss Suzumiya's plan is a good one, but there are subtle flaws here and there. I suspect there will be at least three real attempts on her life. Don't worry, though. I'm actually quite good at this."

"Really?" I asked. Okay, you could just replace me with a robot that asks this, constantly.

"Really," she answered, not at all bothered by my repetitiveness. "Trust me. Oh, that reminds me..."

"What?" I asked.

She then looked at me seriously for a moment, but then replied, "It's nothing. Never mind."

"The heck?" I said, wondering what that was about.

"Anyway," she added, "you should go to the first changing room. Your escorts are waiting for you, there."

"Okay," I said, and I immediately went there, with toast still in my mouth.

- x -

Having been in the SDF, I've read a lot about post-traumatic stress disorder. I don't know that I've actually seen it, but I know it can do funny things to the mind. I also know that I happen to have one of the major risk factors. That is to say, I've had a traumatic childhood. I've blacked out a lot of what happened to me when I was young, so I happen to know for a fact that I've experienced this at least once before. I'm pretty sure that's what's happening to me with this incident, because I've had flashbacks of it since then. I also really don't like talking about it, it gives me nightmares, and I sometimes wake up feeling furious for no particular reason.

The most intrusive images are those of Harlequin. It's weird, and I can't think of a reason for it, but there you go. I just remember feeling this intense affection for her, and that was somehow the worst thing about it all. I also get this feeling mixed up with the angry protests and the weirdly formal way we were all dressed. It's kind of a blur of fuzzy feeling. I remember a lot of people were more worried about their reputation than anything else, so that made me feel justified in helping Haruhi. The other, truly terrible and dark, image was that of Ryoko Asakura. True to her word, she stayed by Haruhi's side and did not hesitate to cut people down when they tried to attack Haruhi. It seemed to me like she did that over and over about a hundred times, although I could only remember seeing five bodies on the floor, after the initial events. The most disturbing thing about Ryoko was the sheer delight she took in killing, and that delight was made all the more terrible somehow by the fact that not even a single drop of blood got on her or remained on her weapons. In fact, I can't remember her holding her weapons, except for whenever she attacked.

I began to remember a lot about what immediately happened after the killings, mainly because Yuki knew what I was experiencing and helped me out quite a bit, afterward. I think I'm comfortable talking about that part, at least. Haruhi, Ryoko, myself, and a number of men in business suits were all that was left at the front of the main hall. There was no one else left. We were just standing there, looking at the five dead bodies, and I'm not really sure how much time had passed while we did that. Haruhi then cut through the gloom of all that in her oddly upbeat way.

"Well..." she said. "That went a lot better than I expected. Except for... I mean, sheesh. What's up with these idiots who actually tried to kill me?"

"It just goes to show you that not everyone adheres to the Eightfold Path," I said, just stating something obvious to convince myself I was still sane.

"I guess so," Haruhi added. One of the men in business suits made a hand signal to her, and Haruhi nodded at him. She then said, "Yeah, let's light this sucker. I'm getting sick of this place."

As we started to leave, Yuki then entered, dressed as Harlequin.

"Oh hey, Yuki!" Haruhi said. "You missed all the fun. Where were you?"

"I'm here to stop you," Yuki answered.

"Stop me?" Haruhi asked. "Why? Don't tell me you actually want this ridiculous cult to continue?"

Yuki answered, "I'm here because I don't want to end our friendship. And my name is Harlequin."

"It's okay," I said. "There's nothing left to fight over."

"Shut up, Kyon!" Haruhi commanded. "Look, Yuki. Let's talk about this. All right?"

"Yes," Yuki answered.

"We're friends, right? Haven't I taught you about showing your affections and all that?"

"Yes."

"You like me, right?"

"There is no one to whom I show greater affection."

"So, what's the problem? Tell me."

I then noticed that one of the men in suits had attacked Haruhi. If it had been left to me, I doubt I would have been able to save Haruhi, but Ryoko kicked the knife out of his hand and sent him to the floor with a throw. While that was happening, another man suddenly sprang out of hiding and attacked Yuki, stabbing her in the chest. By the time I'd noticed anything, Yuki had already fallen to the floor.

"Whoa!" I said, trying to get my bearings.

"Another one," Ryoko said, a little startled, apparently.

"Hey!" Haruhi said, turning around and around. "Whoa! What just happened?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Suzumiya," Ryoko said. "I guess I didn't notice that one."

"Seven assassins?" Haruhi complained. "Are you kidding me? Where the hell did they come from? Yuki!" Haruhi rushed forward to Yuki and shook her. By now, she sounded strained and frantic. "No! Yuki... You can't leave me now! I'm finally free of this stupid job. I never meant for you to become Harlequin. That was just a silly way to insult you. I don't care what people think of you or me! Just don't die!"

I collected myself, and this feeling of terrible rage boiled over in me. "Shut up, Haruhi!" I yelled.

"What did you say to me?" she said.

"I said, shut up!" I exclaimed. "Screw you! This is all your fault! She was hated because of you. She never had a chance to make friends with anyone else."

I then started to leave, trembling in anger.

"Where do you think you're going?" Haruhi demanded.

"Anywhere but here," I answered. I then stopped and looked back at Yuki. I just couldn't believe what had happened. Haruhi started weeping, and I started to notice smoke billowing.

Ryoko then sighed and said, "I knew it. Come on, Nagato. She isn't going to explode, now. And I think there's a pretty good chance this smoke might actually kill one of us."

"What on Earth are you talking about?" I asked her.

Yuki then slowly stood up, took off the mask, and slapped me in the face.

"What the...?" I said.

She then softly exclaimed in her weird monotone, "You bumbling, ridiculous, arrogant, scatterbrain, asshole!"

"Why?" I asked, completely dumbfounded, as Yuki walked away, trembling in anger.

Ryoko then came up to me and put an arm on my shoulder, saying, "You want to talk about it?"

"Yeah," I answered, "with anyone but you." I then pulled away from Ryoko and went to go catch up with Yuki.

"No one ever listens to me," Ryoko had the nerve to complain.

- Fin

- x -

- Extra

- Realization (moments later)

Haruhi: Okay... What the hell just happened here?

Haruhi glares at Ryoko for a few moments, then starts to nod her head.

Haruhi: Oh, right. You guys and your pranks. Jeez. You guys have a really sick sense of humor.

- x -

- Realization (one week later)

In Kyon's apartment. Kyon is lying in bed, as Yuki is sitting at the foot of his bed, smoking.

Kyon: (getting up) Okay, you want to explain all this to me?

Yuki: You realize that I'm an alien, right?

Kyon: I kind of had that figured out a while back.

Yuki: You realize that I can convincingly fake my death?

Kyon: I realize that now.

Yuki: It was all my fault. I'm sorry about how I insulted you. You deserve a better lover than me.

Kyon: You're the one who deserves better. I feel like an idiot.

Yuki: ...

Kyon: And what was that about expecting Miss Suzumiya to explode?

Yuki: (slightly mocking) The plan was for "Haruhi" to believe that I was dead, thus provoking a strong reaction. An explosion of data.

Kyon: Why do you need that?

Yuki: Because the Data Integration Thought Entity needs that data to discover the source of Suzumiya's ability to subconsciously manipulate absolute data.

Kyon: ...

Yuki: Yes. In a way, she is a deity. This situation already explodes with irony.

Kyon: So, why didn't you just tell me all this before?

Yuki: I convinced myself that you didn't need to know.

Kyon: Why?

Yuki: ...

Kyon: Because you thought I'd reject you for being an alien...?

Yuki: Yes.

Kyon: I'm sorry.

Yuki: It's okay. There wasn't enough stimulus to provoke as much reaction as I had wanted. Either way, I would have failed.

Kyon: Well, at least Miss Suzumiya is free of her cult.

Yuki: (smirking) Don't be so sure about that.

- x -

- Haruhi's Room

Kyon enters his apartment and immediately closes and locks the door. A moment later, he hears a loud thud and then some knocking.

Kyon: Yes? Who is it?

Haruhi: You know damn well who it is! Open the door.

Kyon opens the door, and Haruhi immediately grabs his arm.

Haruhi: Come here.

She leads him to her door.

Kyon: All right. What's this about?

Haruhi: Well... You said you wondered what my room was like. I'm about to show you.

Kyon reaches for the knob.

Haruhi: Wait! Don't go in just yet.

Kyon: What for?

Haruhi: There's a special method for entering my room. If you don't know what it is, you could get killed.

Kyon: ...

Haruhi: Yes, seriously.

Haruhi waits a few moments, then knocks three times, very quickly. The door opens by itself, then Haruhi quickly drags Kyon into her room. They enter an otherwise bare, tiled hallway. The door automatically shuts and locks behind them, and a huge set of sharp spikes shoot up through the floor just in front of them.

Haruhi: (pushing some buttons at a keypad on the wall) 8-2-6-8.

The spikes descend back into the floor, and they enter the main room. The main room is very sparsely furnished, with a very clean, metallic motif. Around a corner one way is the bedroom, and around the other corner is a computer setup.

Kyon: What was that?

Haruhi: That's my death field. If you try to force open the door or you don't know the way to get past the spikes, flame throwers shoot hot, fiery death at you from above. That's why I have it tiled all around.

Kyon: ...

Haruhi: It makes it easier to scrape away the charred remains.

Kyon: I don't even want to know...

Haruhi: Don't worry. Nobody's been stupid enough to try it.

Kyon: So, where's your kitchen?

Haruhi: In my bedroom. See?

Kyon looks in her bedroom.

Kyon: You just have that little cot and a toaster oven?

Haruhi: And my three mini fridges. Don't overlook that.

Kyon: Why three?

Haruhi: It's more efficient that way. You save a lot on your energy bills.

Kyon: Jeez.

Haruhi: What? You aren't in and out of your fridge a lot?

Kyon: I guess I have no idea what it's like to be a writer.

Kyon looks around.

Kyon: Oh, there's your computer. That's quite a setup.

Haruhi: Yeah, it is. Don't touch anything.

Kyon: Liquid cooling?

Haruhi: And a set of huge honking fans if those aren't up to snuff.

Kyon: ...

Haruhi: It depends on whether I'm playing a video game.

Kyon: Oh, I see.

Haruhi: I love those MMORTS games.

Kyon: I'm not quite familiar...

Haruhi: Online strategy? You've never heard of those? You go around conquering galaxies with your fleets of spaceships. I mostly just have peons hauling my freight around for me.

Kyon: ...

Haruhi: Sometimes you get in a huge battle with some upstart, and you need all the extra CPU power you can get to make sure you don't get screwed out of frame rate.

Kyon: So, you write from here?

Haruhi: Yeah, and everything else. This is my command center. You know, you're lucky. A lot of people would kill to see all this.

Kyon: I don't doubt it. Imagine their disappointment if they did see it.

Haruhi: What's to be disappointed about? Isn't it great?

Kyon: So, where's your books? Your music collection? Your TV?

Haruhi: It's all right here.

Kyon: I guess I missed out on the whole IT revolution.

Haruhi: Yeah, but you didn't miss much.

- x -

- A conversation with an imaginary author

Author: Oh, cool. New outline?

Proofreader: I was inspired. What can I say?

Author: This has comic book written all over it.

Proofreader: I save all the "action" for the end, though.

Author: It has all the makings of a superhero satire... Wait a minute.

Proofreader: What?

Author: This is revenge, right?

Proofreader: For what?

Author: For me deleting that religion extra you were so proud of?

Proofreader: Whatever could you mean?

Author: ...

- x -

- Another conversation with an imaginary author

Author: Aren't you done yet?

Proofreader: Jeez... You didn't have to throw Kunikida under a bus.

Author: Still stuck on that scene?

Proofreader: Sometimes, I really hate the way you write.

Author: (laughing) It's really eating you alive, isn't it?

Proofreader: Okay, let's just forget about that stupid religion extra. I don't hold a grudge anymore.

Author: Apology accepted.

Proofreader: You suck. You know? You really suck.

- x -


	6. Meanwhile

The Origins of Haruhi - Homework Assignments

- x -

- Foreword

In the first time plane that involved Mikuru Asahina's interference, I apparently revealed to Haruhi Suzumiya the existence of time travelers and aliens without any serious consequences. I traveled with her to the past, and she provided her kindness to me in return. Within a few days, we went as far as to develop a serious relationship. I'm reminded of Julius Caesar when he paraded around his triumph over Gaul with the expression "Veni, vidi, vici" (in that things just suddenly happened in a favorable way).

What's most striking to me is how this story implies that I seem to have no choice in things. It's rather unsettling, to witness myself essentially saying "Alea iacta est," but I do have a tendency to resolve on the path of least resistance. That is to say, whatever my memory indicates is the usual way to do things is the way I nearly always prefer things to be. If my expectations dictate a certain path, I may struggle for a long time to find some other path, but I almost always choose that path, even if it means changing myself in the process. I happen to know from experience that the odds of me choosing this path are roughly fifteen thousand to one.

In addition to being disconcerting, this narrative is also a little crude and choppy at times. It seems as though this story chose to happen in my most childish, cynical time of life. It's a pity that I have only this work of mine to describe these events. The real pity is that you are forced to turn to me to find any record of this, and I can only express my bemused but sincere apologies. I don't always write with a lucidity and fluidity that gives the reader an ample grasp of the subject, in particular when the major topic is time travel. I make a lot of selfish assumptions, I misconstrue a lot of motives, and I think I'm being downright dishonest in a few places.

Nevertheless, I expect this story will prove to be a valuable legacy among those readers who enjoy the more approachable but less virtuous side of myself. There's a kind of comfort to be found in being a little irresponsible, and I doubt I can reasonably blame all the mistakes I make in this story on myself. Still, I must confess that I dislike this version of me. I seem to have too high an opinion of myself, even in the face of my regular failures and my inability to truly choose my own path in life. Even so, there's a lot to be said about the way this played out, and I often find myself wishing that this had been my own fate.

The reader should also be warned that this story distinctly lacks in closure, and I asked Yuki Nagato about it. She told me that the ending of this story was sufficient for my purposes, and left it at that. So, the story of what happened afterward between me and Haruhi will have to remain a mystery. At the risk of sounding trite, I think it's safe to say that I went on collecting books, Haruhi went on causing trouble, and the world went on treading the line between fantasy and reality. All this doubtlessly happened much to the weariness and perplexity of any observing entities.

- x -

- Chapter 1: Meanwhile

I've always said that if you can't be good, be lucky. I don't know where I made the right moves in my life or if someone moved the chess pieces of my life for me. Whatever. If it gives me a checkmate, that's fine with me. You can't always expect things to go your way, so your best bet is to take what you can get. That's especially true when life gives you the kind of lemons I'd been getting since starting high school about eight months ago.

I came into this classroom and delivered my obligatory speech of simple likes and dislikes along with some spit polish of my own for good measure to start everything out on the right note, and what did that net me? Nothing but some kind words and some brief flattery. Sheesh. I get to sit near the class president, so that makes up for it a little bit. I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but this only proves to me that I do care a lot about beauty. I guess that makes me the kind of person who can be influenced that way. I feel a little bad about it, but so what? If you were sitting in front of the most beautiful girl in class, wouldn't you take advantage of it?

Ryoko Asakura is pretty amazing. Even so, this just makes me more painfully aware of how far out of reach she is from my lowly station in life. Yep. You have to admit that being bland and ordinary is a miserable way to live. That's not to say that I wish I was stunning, myself. I'm not crazy. Can you imagine what that must be like? All those eyes watching you all the time, expecting you to say something funny or strange, judging you constantly? That would be a special brand of hell all in itself. No, I'd want to be just short of that. I'd want to be the class stud's slightly less attractive friend. I'd get a good taste of that kind of life for myself, but I wouldn't have all the pressure that comes with being the stud, myself.

Cursed with blandness and mediocrity, I've come to realize that I don't really deserve to be in any kind of beautiful relationship. I mean, it's pretty stupid to even consider it a topic suitable for idle conversation. Nevertheless, there was this one ray of hope that came streaming my way, that late autumn day, as I sat eating lunch with Kunikida and Taniguchi. I didn't realize it at the time, but that introduction had actually netted me one surprising satisfaction.

Let me back up a bit. Christmas was coming up in the middle of next week, and my mother had won the company raffle. That meant that she had a Christmas vacation coming, but there was one little hitch. The company could only afford to send three people, so I reluctantly (yeah, not really) volunteered to be the one to stay behind. That left me with the responsibility of minding the house, but that also freed me up to enjoy Christmas in whatever way I chose (within reason, of course).

"No kidding?" Taniguchi said, very astonished.

"Oh, yeah," I answered. "The whole 'second honeymoon' bit. Can you believe it?"

Kunikida then asked, "So, it's just you and your little sister?"

"Huh?" I said, and took a moment to realize what he'd meant. "No. They're not leaving Sister behind. That's like child abuse."

"Isn't she like ten?" Taniguchi added.

"Yeah," I answered. "She'll be turning eleven here soon, but that's still..."

"Yeah," Kunikida admitted, "that's way too young. They can't just leave her behind with Kyon. Of course, I think they might be guilty of neglect, leaving Kyon alone."

"You got that right," Taniguchi agreed.

"Thanks a lot," I remarked, silently deducting a point off their karma scores.

"Pretty pathetic, though," Taniguchi added.

"Why's that?" I asked.

"All alone over Christmas," he explained.

Kunikida agreed, "Yeah, that's sad."

Ah, friends. Nice, huh? Take that wound and rub a little more salt in it, please.

"Knowing Kyon, actually," Kunikida then remarked, "he'll be happier this way."

"Oh," Taniguchi said, switching gears, "I almost forgot."

"What?" I asked.

"About this weekend," he replied, "there's this hot chick who asked about you."

"Really?" I asked, not sure which planet I was on, momentarily.

"Whoa!" Kunikida added, unnecessarily. "That's some news. So, who is it?"

"I can't tell you," he answered, almost a little apologetic.

"Why not?" I asked.

Taniguchi replied, "She told me not to spoil the surprise."

"Oh, come on!" Kunikida immediately protested.

"Yeah," I added, "you can't just leave me hanging like that. What's the story? Who is she?"

"All right, all right..." Taniguchi relented. "I'll give you something..."

Kunikida guessed, "She's a weirdo, right?"

"What?" Taniguchi said. "No. Why would you think that?"

"Well, this is unprecedented," Kunikida softly added.

"Jeez..." I said, getting a little sick of that tag Kunikida likes to give me.

"She's a very nice," Taniguchi added, "very ordinary girl from a second year class."

"And she's pretty?" Kunikida asked, a little astounded.

"She's totally hot," Taniguchi insisted. "I couldn't believe it, myself. But, hey. She asked me."

"Okay," I said, stopping this nonsense, "this is starting to sound suspicious."

"What?" Taniguchi asked.

"Yeah," Kunikida said. "How do we know she's for real?"

"You're just going to have to trust me," Taniguchi answered.

"How did she find out about me?" I asked. "You can at least tell me that."

"She heard about your stunning introduction," Taniguchi smoothly replied.

"Just now?" I asked. "It's been, what? Seven... Eight months?"

"She said she remembered hearing about it," he explained. "I don't think she mentioned when it was she'd heard about it."

"Oh," I said, more convinced by his casual tone than by what he was saying.

"Anyway," he added, "she wants to hook up with you at five o'clock on Saturday."

"Where at?" I asked.

"The local theater," he replied. "You know? The one with the six screens?"

"I think I know which one you're talking about," I said, still a little disbelieving.

"You know," he commented frankly, "even if this is some weird prank, you're still a lucky dog. She's a real hotty."

"Hold on a minute," Kunikida said, starting to realize. "I think I know what this is about."

"What?" I asked him.

He replied, "The second years all have those oral reports due after the break."

"That's just for the ones doing make-ups, isn't it?" I asked, having heard a bit about that, myself.

"Oh..." he said, floundering a bit. "Well, anyway..."

I turned to Taniguchi and asked him, "What's this girl like, academically?"

By his silence, I understood him to mean that she was not too terribly bright, and that this theory of Kunikida's was starting to actually make sense. I was being had by a smooth operator. Girls sometimes like to trade their looks for a sucker deal like this. And I was just the right kind of guy to fall for it.

"Right..." I said. "I got it. I should have known it was something like this."

"Yeah..." Taniguchi admitted. "She does have a bit of difficulty conversing with people normally. Sorry about that."

"That's fine," I remarked, determined to turn this lemon into some lemon aid. "Maybe I'll get lucky and have a hot date for Christmas, huh?"

Kunikida snorted and said, "Yeah, right."

- x -

By now, you're probably starting to figure out that I'm not exactly an overachiever. In fact, I have very little confidence in myself. I don't even bother with extracurricular activities, unless you count the go-home club. And that name everybody calls me. Yeah, it's just this stupid nickname. And I really wish people would stop calling me that.

As Taniguchi and I began leaving the school grounds after class, we noticed this incredibly beautiful girl. She wouldn't be much of a rival to Ryoko in terms of raw, magnetic power to attract. This girl was more like every man's fantasy. You know? The kind of girl that you just assume is probably sleeping with every guy she wants. Behind that thought is always the wispy notion that she could actually be a very sweet, very innocent girl who's just sadly misunderstood, but that's just way too much to hope for.

"Whoa!" Taniguchi said, pointing her out to me. "Check her out!"

"Who?" I asked, looking around. "Oh."

I think I forgot my own name, looking at her. I instantly pictured her as a girl who would be difficult to please, but you would find yourself trying as hard as possible to do it. Her romantic escapades would be like the stuff of legends for centuries to come, and she might not like the idea of having so many jealous rivals, but she would undoubtedly find them crushed under her feet well into her adult years. The thought of a romantic encounter with a girl like that is just so sweet that it's physically painful to stop yourself from trying to imagine it.

"Damn!" Taniguchi remarked. "You don't see chicks like her very often."

"No kidding," I added.

"Oh, hey..." he said, suddenly looking down.

"What?" I asked.

"Look at this," he said, showing me a strange book.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said, handing it to me.

"Weird," I said, opening it. It seemed like an ordinary text, but there was all this obviously hand-written stuff all over it. It had an academic feel to it, and it was thin. It was about sixty pages, if that much. I felt like I should be able to recognize what it said, but it struck me as some kind of foreign language.

"What the heck is that?" Taniguchi asked.

"Looks like some kind of classic," I said, recognizing various symbols here and there, but unable to make out what it said.

"Yeesh..." he said. "No thank you."

"You don't like classic Japanese?" I asked.

"That stuff gives me headaches," he answered.

I then noticed that there was nothing classic about this writing. This was more like what you might see in some fantasy or sci-fi novel. I had the fleeting impression that I was looking at some Elvish language, but then I realized that stories of elves invariably tend to use a more Western-looking method of writing.

"You heading home?" Taniguchi asked, starting to go.

"I'll catch up," I said. "I want to..."

"Yeah," he added. "I'll see you later."

- x -

I had the brief thought that this book might have been some exercise in cyphers or some weird kind of academic study in language, so I went to the teacher's lounge and asked my homeroom teacher about it. He then asked to have a look at the book, and I waited while he perused it.

"So, what do you think?" I asked

"I don't know, really," he answered. "I'm just a gym teacher, but I think this might mean something."

He pointed to the cover, and that made me notice that a small part of it in one corner did actually say something.

"What is that?" I asked. "A name?"

"Yeah," he said, "I can't make out this part, but the part underneath it is clearly a name."

I took the book and I read it, "'Haruhi Suzumiya?'"

"Sounds about right," he said, a little uncertain.

"Thanks," I said. "You've been a big help."

- x -

After that, I was tempted to leave the book there for lost and found to deal with, but that name bothered me. It seemed like there was something behind it, like a mystery that really needed to be solved. I felt like if I had left the book behind, it would have remained a mystery forever. I really don't like the thought of some unsolved mystery, so I just wandered around the school until I found myself at the literature club. It seemed like an appropriate place to start investigating puzzling pieces of literature, so I knocked and entered.

"Hello?" I asked, looking around. I was briefly convinced that there was no one there, but then I noticed this short, bespectacled girl reading near a corner of the room. "Oh!" I said. "I didn't see you there." I slowly entered the room and then asked, "Are you the only one here?" She nodded, so I then asked, "Are you the only one in the literature club?" In answer to that, she also nodded. I then commented, "Okay... You don't have that many books."

I cleared my throat and took a good look around the room. The room was dominated by a large table, as you'd expect to find in any club room. There were a couple of shelves filled with books, but they were the kind of thing you'd expect from a typical literature club: explorations of the childish and ordinary, philosophy of the pompous and pedantic. There were a couple books I noticed there that actually were worth reading: some sci-fi and some silly comedy, but those numbered a total of four, at first glance.

"Anyway," I continued, "I don't suppose you know any classical Japanese literature."

"I do," she softly answered.

"You do?" I asked.

"Yes," she repeated.

"Oh, great," I said, smoothly approaching her. "I was just asking, because... Well..." I then showed her the cover of the book I had been wondering about.

"You mind?" she asked.

"Huh?" I said. I then realized, and said, "Oh." I then handed her the book.

"This is not classical," she commented.

"It's not?" I asked.

"No," she answered.

"So, what is it?" I asked.

"Unknown," she stated.

I added, "It looks kind of like a weird form of Japanese, don't you think?"

"You mind if I read it?"

"Sure, go right ahead, but..."

"It will not take long."

I started to sit down, saying, "You like that kind of...?"

She then said, "Finished."

"That was quick," I said.

"Here," she said, holding it out to me.

It was a little surreal, the thought that she could actually read a book that fast.

"So," I asked, "do you know what it says?"

"I will know when I have succeeding in translating it," she answered in a very flat, very monotone voice.

"You can just...?" I asked, not sure what I was asking her.

"Yes," she replied.

I sighed and told myself that I was just being stupid again. I am a little thick-headed, sometimes. She was just politely telling me to leave her alone. "Sorry to interrupt your reading," I said, very sincerely.

"No problem," she answered.

"I'll just be on my way," I softly added, leaving.

- x -

I felt bad about my encounter at the literature club room, mostly because I was rude to that girl, and it bothered me a little that we didn't even exchange names. I guess I get a little too wrapped up in my thoughts to notice subtleties like that, sometimes. I put the book into my bag and decided to carry it home to use as a kind of homework assignment. I probably wouldn't figure it out, but it was really starting to bug me. I'm not sure whether it's because I felt that I really should have known what it said or because I felt bad about that encounter in the literature club, but it seemed like in obligation for some reason.

I began walking down the hill toward home, not really expecting to run into a classmate, when I suddenly noticed Ryoko had appeared nearby.

"Hello," she said, and I was immediately cheered up by her presence.

"Oh," I said. "Hey, Miss Asakura."

"On your way home?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered, suddenly realizing that here was someone who could help me out. "Oh, hey..."

"Yes?" she asked.

"I found this thing..." I replied, taking the book back out of my bag and showing it to her. "I don't suppose you could help me out with it."

"May I see that?" she asked.

I handed it to her, saying, "Sure."

"This is very strange," she immediately stated, casually flipping through it.

"Isn't it?" I said.

"I can't make out anything but this name," she admitted, pointing to the cover.

"Yeah," I said. "'Haruhi Suzumiya.'"

"That's right," she agreed. "I wonder who that is."

In a few seconds, Ryoko had rehashed everything I had been thinking for the past fifteen minutes. She certainly has an impressive intellect.

"Oh," she said, suddenly. "I remember."

"You know her?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "We're old acquaintances."

"Maybe this is her book," I added.

"Maybe," she admitted, sounding unsure about that. She then handed me the book back and asked, "It would be very interesting to find out her reaction, don't you think?"

"It probably would," I agreed. "You think we could find her?"

She offered, "If you let me know your phone number, I can maybe arrange something."

"Would you?" I said. "I can't ask you to do that."

"It's no trouble," she insisted. "But I would like to be a part of that meeting, if you don't mind."

"It doesn't bother me," I answered. "The more, the merrier, right?"

"I agree," she said.

- x -

Later that afternoon, I rode my bike to a coffee shop near a train station. It was quaint and charming, but it also had this shabby feel to it. I didn't feel obligated to order anything, but I went ahead and had something to drink anyway. It put me in a good mood to think that Ryoko Asakura would soon be joining me, and I felt a bit like celebrating a little.

Just as I was thinking about how stunning Ryoko is, I saw this guy walk in who looked like a young movie star. My immediate impression of him was that I was seriously impressed. Here's a guy who could probably hook up with four or five attractive women at once and no one would think it odd or be anything except envious at his good fortune to have such chiseled features. Some guys get all the luck.

Not surprisingly, he was soon followed by this incredibly cute girl. The girl made less of an impression on me, but I found my eyes drawn to her longer. She looked like the heroine of a romance novel incarnate. In particular, her rather abrupt mannerisms and strident gracefulness put me in a state of baffled admiration. This all hit me in a moment, and I returned to my drink, thinking that it was well past the time when Ryoko should be appearing. Despite that, I was still enjoying myself. Just the anticipation of a meeting was enough to amuse me.

The previously mentioned couple then sat at a table just across from me, and continued their conversation.

"He didn't tell you anything?" the girl asked.

"No," the boy answered. "Just the usual thing. Big fight with his father and all that. I think it might be money issues. You know how it is."

The girl then asked, "So, what are we going to do for our class project?"

The boy answered, "I think we can get by without him. Actually, we may be better off."

"Maybe," she admitted. "Money problems, huh?"

"That's just what I think," he carefully corrected her. "Please don't go spreading rumors. It only gets you into trouble."

She casually answered, "Whatever you say, yeah..."

My mind briefly returned to that strange girl in the literature club room. It suddenly struck me that she had not actually been annoyed with me at all. She had seriously believed that she had read that unreadable book as quickly as I could sit down. Was she merely insane or could she actually do it? I don't know, but I would love to be able to do that with a book, myself. Just scan it all into my brain somehow and then read it later. Another thing I'd love to scan was that beautiful girl Taniguchi had pointed out. She definitely stuck out. I don't think she really belongs on this planet or at least in this time period. I then suddenly noticed that I had finished my drink.

"Jeez..." the girl complained. "So, where is this guy? Huh? No show, I'll bet."

"Didn't you speak to a woman?" the boy asked her.

"Yeah," she answered, "but she said she had something come up at the last minute. I don't know about this..."

I suddenly realized that those two were probably referring to me and Ryoko, so I stood and greeted them.

"Hello," I said.

"Oh, hello," the boy said.

"Hey," the girl said. She then asked, "Yeah? What do you want?"

I answered, "Excuse me for asking, but are you Miss Suzumiya?"

"That's right," she said. "What's this about?"

I took out the book and said, "I was just wondering what your opinion was of this." I then put the book on their table.

"This book?" the boy asked me.

"Why does that have my name on it?" Haruhi asked.

I answered, "I just happened to find this lying around, and I thought it might be yours."

"What on Earth?" she said, suddenly opening it and intently scanning it.

"Interesting," the boy commented. "You mind if we have a look?"

"I don't mind," I replied. "Go right ahead."

The boy looked a little sheepish as he noticed my awkward smiling. I was simply amused by the way this rude girl suddenly became engrossed in looking through that book.

"By the way," I said, "I'm..."

Haruhi interrupted with, "What is this? Looks like ancient Japanese or something."

The boy responded with, "That isn't any form of Japanese I'm familiar with. You found this?"

"That's right," I answered. "Out front of North High. It seemed like a student had dropped it, but..."

"This is very strange," he added. He then collected himself and said, "Oh, pardon my manners. I'm Itsuki Koizumi."

"Nice to meet you," I responded. "I'm..."

Haruhi interrupted me again, "Why does this have my name written all over it?"

"It's puzzling," Koizumi admitted. "Yes."

"Wait a minute," she stated with emphasis. "I've got it. It's some kind of shorthand."

"Shorthand? ... I don't think so."

"That kanji is all messed up. What else could it be?"

"I think it's some kind of derivative or something..."

"Or maybe alien Japanese. Yeah, that's it. It's some kind of alien dialect."

"Really, now."

"Or someone from the future. That could be it."

That statement gave Koizumi a serious pause. He looked up and then noticed me again. "Oh, I'm sorry," he said to me. "What were you saying?"

"Anyway," I answered, "I thought..."

Just at that moment, Ryoko appeared. She stood next to me and said, "Hello. Sorry, I'm late. I had to go deal with a friend."

"Oh hello, Miss Asakura," I said.

"Please..." Koizumi said, offering. "Have a seat if you don't mind."

Ryoko and I sat at their table, while Haruhi looked up from the book.

"You had to deal with a friend?" she asked Ryoko.

"Boy trouble," Ryoko explained.

"Oh, okay," Haruhi said.

Ryoko added, "We started watching some show, and I almost forgot about this rendezvous."

Haruhi softly stated, "I'd forget about silly book problems if there was something romantic going on in my life."

"Aren't we all a little too young for love?" Ryoko asked.

"No," Haruhi smoothly answered.

Koizumi seemed very taken aback by all this, although that meant that his usual smile was almost bent into a sneer. He almost looked like he wanted to cover his face in disgust, but he was apparently still figuring out the muscles necessary to do that.

"What?" Haruhi asked him. "No comeback?"

"That really wouldn't be me," Koizumi casually remarked.

"Oh, don't I know it!" Haruhi softly agreed. "You never say anything I might take offense at! Always with that damn patronizing smirk! It's really starting to piss me off."

"Now, now..." Koizumi added, almost looking amused.

"Don't 'now, now' me," Haruhi told him. "That's the most irritating."

"Did we meet at a bad time?" Ryoko very nicely asked them.

"Sorry," Koizumi lightly apologized. "Just one of our frequent disagreements."

In all this, I noticed with some dismay that no one seemed interested in me. I kind of felt like a fifth wheel.

Ryoko then suggested, "I have an idea. How about we all exchange contact information and talk about this later?"

"That sounds like an excellent suggestion," Koizumi answered.

"I think I can live with that," Haruhi said.

Ryoko added, "Once things have settled down a bit, let's all have a nice chat again."

"On my side of town," Haruhi kindly but firmly amended, "next time."

Koizumi then noticed the book and asked me, "Oh, do you need this?"

"Like I said," I replied, "I just found it. I have no idea what to do with it, so..."

"Oh," he said, picking it up. "Well, in that case... I'd really like to keep this and study it."

"Fine with me," I stated.

- x -

When we left the shop, I found myself thinking how lucky I was to witness a conversation between such stunning people. I realized with some amusement at myself that they apparently talk much the same as us mere mortals, and that made me wonder what their families were like. I amused myself with picturing them all with happy, smiling, seemingly perfect parents. Yeah, right. Like anyone has perfect parents. They seemed to have nice, ordinary problems with school, and they have the usual back-and-forth of playful and affectionate feelings toward each other. In the cold air of this late autumn, it made all this thinking especially sentimental for me.

Ryoko continued to walk with me, and I asked her, "That cute girl was Haruhi Suzumiya?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"I don't suppose you could set me up with her?" I asked.

"Huh?" she said. "Oh, you're joking!"

"Yeah..." I admitted. "Sort of."

Ryoko frowned and said, "I don't think her current boyfriend is working out."

"That seems pretty obvious," I added.

"So," Ryoko asked me, "are you interested in her?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Why not?"

"I don't know," she said with a warning tone in her voice. "She doesn't really seem to be your type."

"What could it hurt?" I asked. "I'm not seeing anyone."

"Aren't you incredibly poor, though?" she asked me.

"I wouldn't call myself rich," I stated, "but I ain't exactly poor."

"Anyway," Ryoko continued softly, "that girl is a trouble-maker. You'd regret it if you did hook up with her."

"Really?" I asked, a little disappointed, but not too surprised.

"Yeah," Ryoko answered. "It's for your own good. You should avoid her."

"If you say so," I said, putting that silly thought out of my mind. I got my bike ready, and I was preparing to leave, so I told Ryoko, "Well... See you later."

"So long," she said.

"Hey..." I added. "Do you really think I'm incredibly poor?"

"Sorry," she answered. "I just had that impression."

Okay. So, in addition to being bland and mediocre, I look incredibly poor. Just the thing to put me into a lousy mood.

- x -

When I arrived home, I noticed that incredibly cute girl that Taniguchi had pointed out. She turned her otherworldly gaze toward me.

"It's that girl again..." I said before I could stop myself.

She then approached me and attempted to speak with me. "Um... Excuse me..." she said in a really girlish and wispy voice that spoke straight to my soul.

"Yeah, hi," I responded. "What is it?"

"I..." she started. "Oh, my... I don't know how to say this..."

I remarked, "Kind of hard to know what it is you want to say unless you tell me, first."

"I..." she said again. Then she said, "Huh? Well... What I mean to say..."

I was a little giddy, so I casually added, "Funny accent you have there, if you don't mind me saying so."

"Okay," she softly commented, "that was incredibly rude..."

"Sorry," I said. "I guess I should introduce myself."

"No," she answered. "That's okay. I know who you are."

"You do?"

"I found out from that friend of yours... Taniguchi I think his name was."

"So, you know Taniguchi?"

Okay, somehow I just can't picture Taniguchi and this girl in the same frame. That would be like trying to mix matter and antimatter.

She continued, "My name is Mikuru Asahina, and..."

"Yeah?" I prompted.

She sighed deeply and said, "I have this homework assignment and I really need to classified information. Oh my..."

"What?" I asked, my train of thought completely derailed at this weird predicate she was using.

"Um..." she tried again. "What I'm trying to say is that classified information is classified information..."

"I'm sorry," I said, completely baffled, "but I can't understand what you're trying to tell me."

"I have this homework assignment," she asserted.

"Right," I acknowledged.

"And I think I lost it," she added.

"Oh," I said, finally understanding. I answered, "Sorry, I don't think I've seen it. It had your name on it, right?"

"Yeah," she replied, "and it had classified information... Oh my..."

"Is this about Haruhi Suzumiya?" I asked, suddenly putting two and two together.

"I can't talk about classified information..." Mikuru said, suddenly not making sense again. "Jeez..."

"I'm sorry," I said, thinking that I had been guessing wrong, as usual.

Mikuru looked a little embarrassed by all this and hastily said, "Well, it was nice to meet you."

"Okay, yeah," I said, as she started to walk away. "Nice to meet you too."

"Thanks anyway," she added as she flitted away.

"I hope you find what you're looking for," I called out to her.


	7. Running Water

- Chapter 2: Running Water

The previous day had been very productive. Despite the prospect of being played for a sucker by some strange girl who didn't even have the courage to tell me her name, I nevertheless found myself briefly contacting three incredibly attractive girls who were doubtlessly not the same girl Taniguchi was setting me up with. It was strange, but I felt good about giving that odd book to Koizumi. Something about him just said, here was a guy who could tackle a challenge like that, and he certainly looked ready to uncover whatever mystery was hidden in that book.

The book that looked like a homework assignment for a person from the future.

I think I slapped myself in the forehead when I realized that. No doubt my earlier instinct had been correct, but that girl had mysteriously thought that she had made a mistake. Just some weird miscommunication, I guess. That's the thing about most of life's problems. The right words here and there can make a world of difference. It also helps if you can say the words without having to interrupt yourself in some weird way. That had been strange, and I wondered what was up with that, as I walked to school that morning.

On the way, I noticed Taniguchi looking a little miserable. "Hey, what's up?" I asked.

"Oh, man," he replied. "Keep it down. My head's spinning."

"You have a cold?" I guessed, noticing that he was wearing a mask.

"Yeah," he answered.

"That sucks," I said. "Can't go home?"

"Nah," he replied. "The old man would kick my ass if he saw me lying around."

"Oh, right," I said. He'd mentioned before to me about his father being a strict hard-ass.

"I'll see you after school," he added.

"Yeah," I said.

- x -

While Taniguchi was no doubt asleep in the nurse's office, that left me and Kunikida to our lunch by ourselves. It occurred to me that Kunikida might be able to help me out. I really wanted to know for sure if Haruhi was a trouble-maker.

"I don't suppose you know the name 'Haruhi Suzumiya,'" I guessed.

"Should I?" he asked. "Sounds familiar... I can't quite place it, though."

"It's no big deal," I said.

"She go to this school?" he asked.

"No," I replied. "I don't know what school she goes to, but it ain't around here."

He then asked, "Is she that hot chick Taniguchi was talking about yesterday?"

"No. I'm pretty sure she isn't."

"This is going to bug me, now. I know I've heard that name before."

"Never mind. It's not important."

"You bump into her or something?"

This got me to thinking about Mikuru Asahina again as I explained, "There was this book like an assignment book or..."

"Weird," he commented, suddenly looking shocked.

I turned and noticed Mikuru approaching us.

"Well, hello," Kunikida greeted her.

"Hello," she answered him.

"I take it you're Miss Suzumiya..." he guessed.

"Um..." she answered. "Not exactly."

I think I had finished gazing at Mikuru and clearing my mind enough to think of a proper approach to this situation. I then said, "This is Miss Asahina. We met yesterday. It was kind of awkward."

She added, "I'm at the end of my rope. I'm sorry, but this is kind of important."

"Okay, wait," I said. "I know how to solve this."

"Okay," she answered.

"I'll ask questions and you just say 'yes' or 'no.' Will that work?"

"Yes."

"Okay, first question: Are you a time traveler?"

"That's classified."

"I'll take that as a 'yes.'"

"Jeez."

"Second question: Did you lose a book yesterday, about this big?"

"Yes."

"Was this book covered with symbols that I would find unfamiliar?"

"Yes."

Mikuru's voice is like a drug to me. I just can't get enough of it. I was determined to hear more. "Now, we're getting somewhere," I remarked.

"Go, Kyon!" Kunikida added.

"And that book is your homework assignment?" I added.

"Yes," she answered.

"Is a dog a type of mammal?" I finished, going for a bonus round.

"Huh?" she replied. "Um... yes."

"How many times was that?" I asked Kunikida.

"Five times," he supplied. "I believe that's a new record."

"What?" she asked.

"The number of times you said 'yes,'" he answered her. "I'm really amazed. And you're such a cute girl. Too bad about the time traveler part."

I took out my phone and decided to risk a text. I figured that this was probably frowned on at Koizumi's school, but this is lunch and it is an emergency, after all.

"So, can you help me?" Mikuru asked.

"Help is on the way," I replied, finishing my text.

"That's a relief," she added.

"Okay," I said, "that should do it. And now, we wait."

"Thanks," she said.

"It's the least I could do after..." I felt my phone buzzing and took it out again. "Hold on."

"What?" she asked.

"That was quick," I answered, looking at the reply text. "Koizumi says to meet him out front of the school here at four o'clock."

"How will I...?" she asked, unable to finish.

"He has your description," I explained. "You do kind of stand out, you know. Anyway, he'll be the guy with your homework assignment, so you really can't miss him."

"Okay," she said, overjoyed. "Hey, this is great!"

"You have a talent," Kunikida added.

"My one redeeming trait," I admitted. Solving problems by foisting them off onto other people, that is.

"Thanks a lot," she said to me, very sincerely. "You've been a big help."

"My pleasure," I responded.

She then kissed me right on the cheek, and left the room amidst a soft chorus of gasps, and people muttering.

"Whoa!" Kunikida exclaimed softly. "Now, that's gratitude!"

"That was a shock," I added, a little numb.

- x -

I was visited again briefly by Mikuru, and she told me to meet her at a certain park at a certain time. It was funny how she could be clear and extremely coherent when she wasn't trying to describe something related to her homework assignment. This gave me some time to mull things over a little, and to wonder whether any of this situation was going to pay off. I was starting to get a little sick of wasting my time over nothing, but that's what this situation was starting to look like. By giving that book to Koizumi, I had apparently written myself out of this story, and I was concerned that there wouldn't be any followup there. I'd ask what this was about, but I started to doubt it would be a satisfying resolution.

As I approached the park later that afternoon, I noticed Haruhi Suzumiya was trying to be clever and was shadowing me. She was dressed warmly and casually, but I'm pretty good about noticing these things. I tried to shake her, but she's pretty good about following people, apparently. As I approached a line of trees, I also noticed Mikuru in her magnificent glory. Seeing her made me forget all about silly worries like me wasting my time.

"I hope that all got straightened out," I said, relieved when she smiled back at me.

"Yes," she answered, "thanks to you."

"It was nothing," I said. "I just found it."

"I can't really go back home without it," she added. It then hit me that she really was a time traveler. There was no other way I could see her admitting to this.

"Rough assignment," I said, hoping to prod some more information out of her.

"It's not that," she explained. "It's just that if I leave it here in the past, there's really no knowing what kind of mayhem it will cause for the future."

"So, you're from the future," I concluded.

"Yes," she answered.

"Interesting," I remarked. "I guess that's what all that classified stuff is about, right?"

She replied, "There's a lot I'm not allowed to talk about."

"I can see that," I said, taking a moment to brace myself against a slight gust of wind. "No telling what kind of mayhem that information would cause."

"It's really no big deal," she said, "as long as I can prevent it from causing a lasting change."

"A lasting change?" I wondered.

"A long-term paradox," she answered. "I can't really go into too much detail, but it's like the difference between pebbles in a pond and a dam bursting. You see what I mean?"

"I kind of get it," I said. "You want to be like a pebble in a pond."

"Exactly," she said. "I hate the thought of losing a home to go back to."

"This is so cool," I commented. "You're like an intrepid explorer. Man. I just have to wonder what it must be like."

"I'd really prefer you put it out of your mind," she then said. "You know?"

"Oh, right," I answered, looking around and noticing Haruhi again. "Pebble in a pond."

"I'm glad you understand," Mikuru added.

- x -

Yeah. Haruhi had no doubt overheard all of that, and that just made me admire her. I was starting to understand how she'd had that "trouble-maker" tag, and I don't doubt if I found out about her school life, I'd probably discover even more. She would understandably cause a lot of conflicts if she continued digging. I could understand how she felt, though. Her name had been all over Mikuru's homework assignment, and this situation was no doubt a lot of fun for her. She might have worried about wasting her time, too. Something told me that Haruhi wouldn't really worry about wasting her time as much as she would simply love doing things that weren't a waste of her time. Something about her just struck me that way.

In any case, when I started to go home, I noticed Haruhi had started shadowing Mikuru. I was starting to think I was free again for a time when I noticed Koizumi was waiting for me in almost the same spot that Mikuru had been waiting just yesterday.

"Hello," he said.

"Oh, hello again," I answered. "Koizumi, right?"

"That's right," he answered.

"Nice to see you again," I said. "Waiting for me?"

"Yeah," he replied. "I thought we should chat."

"Sure," I answered. "Come on in."

"How very generous of you," he remarked, "but I really shouldn't impose."

"I insist," I insisted.

"Okay," he said, predictably.

- x -

When I entered the living room, escorting Koizumi, I noticed my little sister was playing a video game. This was pretty typical, so I didn't think anything of it.

"I'm in a good mood today," I explained. "What can I say?"

"I'm grateful," he added. "I'd really hate to stand outside in the cold."

"It's been pretty windy, too," I said. "I don't really feel like we had an autumn, you know? Just straight from summer into winter."

"Yes, indeed," he agreed.

I relaxed on the sofa and gestured to the other side of the sectional. "Go ahead and have a seat," I said.

"Thanks," he said. "I think I will." He then had a seat, and started, "So..."

"So...?" I wondered, then I realized, "Oh." I gently kicked Sister in the arm and said, "Hey. Go help out Mom."

"What?" she said.

"I need to have a private chat with this guy," I answered. "It concerns a certain time traveler. Very hush-hush and confidential."

"Okay," she said, getting up and leaving.

"Well, isn't she sweet?" Koizumi commented. "Are you sure it's okay to say all that?"

"I don't see why not," I answered. "So, what's this about?"

"Oh, right," he replied. "The book. Yes."

"So, what did you find out?" I asked.

He answered, "I pretty much figured it out the moment Miss Suzumiya said something about time travel. It struck me as odd, but then it suddenly all made sense."

"'Miss Suzumiya?'" I wondered.

"Yeah..." he answered. "You know? Haruhi Suzumiya."

"I know," I said, explaining, "but you have such a formal way of referring to her. Isn't she your girlfriend?"

He sighed and told me, "I'd really rather not discuss it."

"Okay," I said. "Just seemed strange."

"Anyway," he continued, "I discovered a lot of it was just basic homework assignment type stuff, in between all the doodling. Man, that girl is a..."

"An air head?" I offered.

He frowned and said, "I think the phrase I'm looking for is 'free spirit.' Anyway, I couldn't help noticing some of the symbols of affection she drew."

"Affection?" I asked, hoping for some details.

"Don't take this the wrong way," he warned, "but she seems to have a crush on you."

"On me?" I said, almost choking on my own heart. "What the?"

"Indeed," he said, smirking. "Nothing more unwise than a time-crossed romance, so I would advise putting it out of your mind."

"It never even occurred to me in the first place," I softly commented.

"That's good," he added. "The other thing I noticed was the large number of questions concerning Miss Suzumiya. Aside from her there were two other names."

"She has a crush on Miss Suzumiya?" I asked, still reeling a bit from that previous revelation.

"No," he replied. "I'm referring to the homework assignment. There were forty questions. Twenty of them pertain to Miss Suzumiya. Ten of them to Ryoko Asakura, and another ten to Yuki Nagato."

"Okay," I said, getting my bearings again. "Ryoko Asakura, I recognize."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, she's the class president in my class."

"Okay. I don't suppose the other name rings a bell, does it?"

"Well, I think I've heard her name, but it might have been just from rumors. I'm pretty sure she also attends North High."

This all sounded about right, and I could see Koizumi apparently understood, though he still seemed a bit confused.

"I see," he said. "This might explain why Miss Asahina is there rather than at my school."

I remarked, "Keeping her distance, but still close enough to observe."

"Staying close to you, as well," he added.

"Right," I said.

- x -

Later that evening, I began to enjoy my usual Friday night of ignoring homework assignments of my own, and thinking about the pros and cons of a time-crossed romance. There's something strangely compelling about it, but only in a strictly superficial sense. I think I'm more realistically attracted to that odd girl from the literature club than to Mikuru, anyway. Mikuru is really like this unattainable beauty that's like the moon. You might see someone walk there once in your life if you're lucky, but otherwise forget it. It would be fun to pal around with someone like Mikuru, I think. You'd get into trouble because of her odd speech impediment, but that would most likely just be something you weren't meant to know in the first place. Once again, I got this strange feeling that Haruhi would most likely be the one to get herself in trouble over things like that. Just a weird hunch that Ryoko was right about her.

As I was thinking this, I got a call from Haruhi right at that very moment, as if she were reading my mind. "Weird," I commented, answering the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Kyon," she said. "Can we talk?"

"Sure," I answered. "What do you want?"

"Meet me at the coffee shop," she said.

"Okay," I responded.

- x -

My mother is used to my odd comings and goings, so this was no big deal. I think she was also starting to get prepared for her trip. I recalled that they were planning on leaving on Sunday morning, so it's not surprising that they were a little busy right at the moment. I was just going to come right back, as I told her.

It was cold outside, but that wouldn't keep me from this rendezvous. I had more information on that book, and I got the impression that Koizumi doesn't really confide much in Haruhi, so this information could put me in better standing with her. I like the thought of finding out more about Mikuru, but I'm also curious about this Koizumi guy. I was starting to wonder if maybe Haruhi wanted to dish some dirt on him. It seemed unlikely, but the thought of it was a little compelling.

I went to that coffee shop near the station and immediately spotted Haruhi. I went to her table, and smiled down at her. "In disguise?" I playfully asked her.

"It's cold," she complained.

"For a moment there, I thought you were..." I said, getting a little ahead of myself.

Haruhi sneered at me and said, "I don't care what people think about me."

I took that as an invitation and sat across from her. "All right," I said. "Here we are."

"You care what people think about you?" she asked me.

I answered, "People already call me 'Kyon,' so I'm a little..."

"Yeah," she softly finished for me. "You don't care."

"Is this going somewhere?" I asked.

"You have a girlfriend?" she suddenly asked me.

"No," I suddenly answered.

She scowled and complained, "You could at least act surprised when I ask you something like that."

"Sorry," I said, smirking. "Here's my surprise." I then mimicked a crude, theatrical surprise that made her laugh.

"Hilarious," she added. "Do that again."

I was a little genuinely surprised that she could laugh. I somehow had the impression that she was nothing but serious straight through to the bone, but that was just some surface notion. I shook my head in wonder at it.

"You want to go somewhere?" she asked. "Maybe do something crazy we'll both regret later?"

I chuckled and asked, "This is about Miss Asahina, right?"

"Exactly," she answered.

I asked her, "You've figured out that she's a time traveler, huh?"

"It's crazy," she said, "right?"

"I found it hard to believe, myself," I answered.

"I mean, wow," she added. "An actual time traveler."

"Calm down," I softly suggested.

"Are you kidding me? Just imagine the possibilities."

"It boggles the mind, yeah. So..."

"So? Does Koizumi know?"

"I think he figured it out yesterday."

Yeah. He doesn't confide in her. I was right about that. Maybe this is why they have "frequent disagreements."

"That sounds about right," she added. "I wonder if they still use money in the future."

"Yeah, probably," I said, just going along with her.

"How do you figure?" she asked.

I explained, "People are still getting homework assignments, so they still go to school. School means people are still stupid and make mistakes. Hard to imagine imperfect people not needing money to work around their problems."

"That makes sense," she said.

"It does?" I asked. "I was just kind of making that up as I went along."

I then suddenly wondered what Haruhi would find amusing. It was eating at me, and I really needed to find out.

"You want to do something fun?" I offered.

"What do you consider fun?" she asked.

"Come meet my parents," I suggested. "Tell them all kinds of crazy stories just to see the look on their faces."

She chuckled in an evil way and admitted, "I might enjoy that a bit too much."

"Yeah," I added. "I don't know what your attitude is toward a solidly middle-class family."

She looked a little taken aback by all this, and it created this weird, awkward moment that I felt like I could almost cut with a knife.

"Sorry," I said, a little disgusted with myself. "I'm not normally a big jerk, like this."

"That's okay," she said. "I think it's just the idea of time travel."

"I know. I feel a little giddy, myself."

"I'm in stalker mode, right now. I hope I find a time machine."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Do you know a girl named Yuki Nagato?"

"No."

"Just checking."

"Why do you ask?"

I kept thinking that it was important to find out more about Mikuru. Something about her having a crush on me just seemed really weird, and I felt like there needed to be some answers to that. I told Haruhi, "Just trying to piece together that book we saw yesterday. That was one of the names in it."

"I'll look into it," she said.

"Just find out who she is, okay?" I added. "I don't want to go sneaking into her house or anything."

"What makes you think I'd do that?" she asked.

"Just a hunch," I explained. "I think it might be a good idea to find out how she's connected."

"You want me to see if she has a boyfriend?" Haruhi then asked.

Haruhi has this strange knack for turning our conversations around in different directions. It gave me pause to think that she was already taking a serious interest in who I liked.

She then casually added, "Boyfriends are totally overrated, by the way."

- x -

The next day went pretty much as expected until later that afternoon. Somehow, Haruhi mentioning Yuki Nagato possibly having a boyfriend made me wonder who she was, and I felt like I should have known, but it was like something just out of reach. There was this air of mystery around that name that made her seem even more alluring than Haruhi. This was just something I remember thinking all that morning, but I quickly put it out of my mind.

I spent a lot of time reading, and I realized that a lot had changed about Japanese over the past thousand years or so. It wouldn't be altogether surprising to see some weird variation like what I had seen from Mikuru's homework assignment if she was from the distant future. I asked my mother about stuff like this, and she seemed to agree with me, oddly mentioning that she wondered if time travel were possible. If my mother was already thinking about time travelers, that would mean the rumor of Mikuru being a time traveler might already be going around the neighborhood. It seemed to me like something Haruhi might be to blame for, but I might have had a hand in it, now that I think about it. In particular, if people were talking about that kiss. I think most people would recoil at the notion that Mikuru had a crush on me or something similar. Time travel would make a lot more sense to people, I think.

The homework assignment itself was mainly to blame for all this, so I think I can rest all this trouble on Mikuru. If she had simply taken better care not to lose it in the first place, there wouldn't be any potential trouble. Then again, no telling how many weird things might not have happened, had I not seen that book.

About ten minutes to five, I showed up in front of the theater, and I saw that strange girl with the glasses again. When she saw me, she immediately approached me and said, "I'm Yuki Nagato."

"Oh, hello," I said. "Nice to see you again."

"Follow me, please," she instructed me, and I obeyed.

- x -

As we were walking through the park, I felt a bit like I was being summoned to the principal's office, and I decided to try and break up that tension a bit.

"So," I asked, "you're the one who was impressed with my introduction?"

From the way she glanced at me, I guessed this wasn't a subject she was comfortable with. If she was having difficulty contemplating some oral report, it shouldn't be surprising that she wouldn't be forthcoming about what impresses her.

"I just assumed this was about a movie or something," I added.

She explained in her characteristic monotone, "You transferred an anomalous data storage device to Itsuki Koizumi. That created a disturbance in the space-time continuum."

"Wait a minute," I said, stopping to think. "You mean, that book I found?"

"I mean," she answered, "you have created a temporal data paradox. This paradox can only be resolved in absolute time. Such an event is beyond the ability of data units to control."

Since the book incident had happened after Taniguchi had approached me about a mysterious attractive girl who was interested in me, I had the impression that Yuki was telling me that the situation had changed. She was more interested in talking about time travel and the implications of that, now.

"So, now what?" I asked.

"Come with me," she said, and we continued through the park to her apartment.

- x -

This girl may have had difficulty conversing with people, but she had no trouble relating strange information to me or instructing me in what she expected me to do. This whole situation felt weird. It wasn't at all what I expected. Usually, if a cute girl is going to play me for a sucker, she wouldn't go to all this much trouble. I thought that maybe she was forming other plans for me, but that bothered me as well. If the real problem was the book, then why wouldn't she just confront Koizumi or Haruhi? Wouldn't that make more sense? In particular, because Haruhi's name is in the book. Then I began to think that Yuki wanted to speak to me as a kind of intermediary between herself and Mikuru, but that only made me wonder why she would avoid a direct confrontation. It's not like she had a reputation worth worrying about.

I had a lot on my mind when I entered Yuki's apartment and sat at her table, with a half-empty cup of tea in front of me.

"Okay," I asked, "so what's this about again?"

Yuki replied, "The flow of data has been disrupted, creating shifting patterns of interaction."

"And that's bad?" I guessed.

"It's significant," she explained. "Shortly after that data storage device appeared, there were two-hundred and fourteen incidents of anomalous behavior that became apparent. Since you showed it to Itsuki Koizumi, these aberrations have grown exponentially. The effect is comparable to a slight audible tremor causing the sliding of a mass of ice and snow down a mountain."

"An avalanche?" I supplied.

"Correct," she answered. "The effects in the immediate future are dramatic, slowly mitigating over the course of roughly two-hundred and sixty-six years. The effect of altered patterns in human relationships mean the divergence of genetic diversity, which is a permanent change. This effect is comparable to the mass of ice and snow burying a group of spectators at the bottom. It changes the future in a drastic, significant way."

"No kidding?" I wondered.

"No kidding," she answered. "It has larger implications, but this is the more immediate problem."

I stopped and wondered how she knew all this, but then I just decided to continue this conversation at her pace. I asked, "Wouldn't the fact that we're discussing it change the future, as well?"

She replied, "If our discussion created a means to resolve the alterations of the future, it would have a nullifying effect. Other effects would result in a similar manner."

"Maybe the future is better this way," I offered.

"Perhaps," she admitted, "but that is not for us to decide." As I sat there wondering who was making these decisions she was alluding to, she then suddenly added, "There is also the alteration due to the contact you have had with Mikuru Asahina."

"When I spoke to her?" I asked.

"Her intimate gesture of affection," Yuki said.

"That kiss?"

"Yes. That sent waves of dramatic temporal distortion into the future that were more drastic than the transference of the data storage device. Such contact has been known to trigger massive changes to the space-time continuum, such that data itself can become irreversibly corrupted."

"Okay. Sure. But what does all this have to do with you?"

"I am a humanoid interface of a non-human data life form, or what you might term an alien. My mission is to observe and record data. For data patterns such as this to develop creates disruption in my efforts. Interference corrupts data and invalidates comparisons."

Yeah. Not 'take me to your leader' or anything stupid like that. Just like all this weird stuff was suddenly the most obvious thing in the world. I sat there reeling a little. Efforts? Interference? Data? Comparisons? Here was a real avalanche.

"You're an alien?" I attempted to verify this part first.

"Yes," she replied.

"Okay," I said. "I don't get it."

"Please specify," she said, and I wondered how I would do that, myself.

I just asked her the first thing that came to mind, "I mean, why are you here?" I then realized the absurdity of what she had said her "mission" was. Or, at least, it seemed absurd. I said, "If all you need to do is observe, then why not use insects or microscopic cameras rather than human form?"

She answered, "We do, in fact, have data units such as those. Humanoid interfaces exist to create interactions that emit specific data related to interactions."

That gave me an amusing thought: "So, it's just the way I disrupt things that causes problems?"

She answered that by smoothly stating, "It's uncertain whether these effects are related to you. This input is a gesture of trust."

"Okay," I said, almost positive that she was about to get to the real point of the issue here.

"Contrary to your implications," she added, "I believe that your service can be of value to my efforts."

"All right," I said. "So, how can I help?"

She replied, "You should take steps to preserve your existence. From the data you showed me, I deduced that you will encounter several troubling situations of a productive nature. You will also come into conflict with Haruhi Suzumiya. That conflict will cause you to uncover disturbing patterns which may, in turn, lead you into a relationship with her."

"You're saying I might end up being her boyfriend?" I asked.

Yuki explained, "The nature of the potential relationship is uncertain, but if she selects you, you will become linked with a massive alteration of absolute data."

"Selects me?" I asked.

She answered, "For one of one-hundred and sixty-nine potential purposes."

Thirteen squared? I'm not sure why, but that number had been conveniently on my mind over the past couple weeks. It was just some weird mathematical curiosity, but here I was seeing some spectacular vindication for its existence.

"Is there any confusion?" she asked.

I thought for a moment about how Yuki's name was in that book, so I then wondered about Ryoko. I asked, "How does Ryoko Asakura fit into all this?"

"She is my backup unit," Yuki replied.

"Backup unit?" I asked.

She explained, "If I have a deficiency in my ability to manipulate data, she has been designated to compensate."

"Okay," I said. "So, she's an alien, too?"

"Correct," she answered.

"Is Miss Suzumiya an alien?" I guessed.

"No," she answered. "She has a significant effect on the future. Her conflicts with you may also cause you to play a part in that."

Oddly, it all made perfect sense, although I doubted she was telling me the whole story. There were some missing parts, but I realized that I had all the information I needed of any real importance. The rest was all just details that might become relevant depending on exactly what was about to happen, which of course wasn't certain.

"Okay," I said. "I think I've got it, now."

"Are you certain?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, double-checking my memory. I actually have a good memory for conversations, especially really strange ones like this. "Thanks a lot."

"You're welcome," she said.


	8. Meet Me Halfway

- Chapter 3: Meet Me Halfway

It became evident to me that Taniguchi had misled me. It wasn't his fault, though. He just has a habit of viewing all girls as romantic objects, and Yuki Nagato definitely does not view me that way. Taniguchi also has a reputation of being a bit of a cad, and this was just doubtless a product of his effort to encourage that view.

Yuki had referred to her "input" as a gesture of trust, and that made me feel very reassured. It's nice to know that there are still a few people who look out for each other, even if they are aliens. I don't know about trust, but the notion of romance is still somewhat of a game to me. I'm starting to understand that people don't always care so much about the score or whether the playing field is level, and it's a comforting thought for me to harbor the notion that merely being willing to endeavor in a romance honestly should be the only condition to a proper romance. This is a convenient notion for me, I admit, and I also admit that it leaves me open to being used by manipulative people. As much as it offends me to see someone else misused, I don't seem to have an internal mirror that lets me see that happening to myself. It's probably just as well, then, that Yuki Nagato was not actually a romantic interest. I sometimes neglect to be mindful of my own best interests.

I've only directly spoken to her once, but I get the feeling that Haruhi is very similar to myself in that respect. I happened to mention Ryoko to her yesterday, and she informed me that she hadn't seen Ryoko before the day I met her. This was odd, since I recall Ryoko calling Haruhi an old acquaintance. Maybe Haruhi just has a rusty memory, but I don't think so. Ryoko was probably being dishonest to me in that instance, but that isn't too surprising, considering she is an alien whose job is to observe people. She would undoubtedly give away bits of that information to uncover other bits of information, or she would perhaps slip that information into conversation unwittingly. This made me wonder if Yuki was being dishonest, but I have the feeling that everything Yuki told me was as sincere as she could be. Koizumi also gives me that feeling. He hides whatever he's feeling behind that suspicious smile, but I don't doubt anything he says. This goes double for Haruhi, and I wonder if she's even capable of being intentionally dishonest. Yeah, I probably don't want to know the answer to that, actually.

Okay, I think I began to feel some connection to Haruhi at this point. I don't know whether it's her looks or her mind or just Cupid getting lousy with his aim. Yuki had mentioned a "relationship" with Haruhi that I was headed toward, and that seemed to me like the voice of fate speaking to me. It seems a little terrible, but at the same time it seems a little comforting to think that I might be fated in some weird way to end up with her. The hand of fate had other ideas for me that evening, though. As I was nearing home, I encountered Ryoko looking a little upset and almost terrified. I asked her, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm being followed," she complained. "Could I come inside?"

"Okay," I answered.

Once inside, I warmed my hands while Ryoko hastily closed the door behind her. I asked her who it was that was following her (thinking that it was Haruhi again), but Ryoko replied, "I don't know. I didn't ask. I assume anyone stalking me is dangerous."

"I'm not sure how much I can help you," I admitted, wondering if Sister was going to come and harass me about bringing strange girls home.

"Call the police?" Ryoko suggested.

"Maybe," I said. "I don't know. You think I should?"

"What if it's a crazy killer?" she asked.

"It's probably just Miss Suzumiya," I admitted.

"What makes you think that?" she asked.

I explained, "She might have heard from Koizumi about your name being in Miss Asahina's homework assignment."

"So, is that what that book was?" Ryoko asked me.

"Didn't Miss Nagato tell you?" I asked her.

She then complained, "Miss Nagato never tells me anything. I just get orders, not information."

Nice. Smooth transition from ordinary class president and ordinary human being to alien subordinate. I have to admire how casually she can switch gears like that.

I then suggested, "I don't suppose you have any powers that help you out here."

"I don't know," she said. "As much as I might enjoy it, I don't think you'd want a dead body on your front yard."

"You make a good point there," I softly added.

Just at that moment I heard a loud scratching at the door, and I was momentarily startled. The scratching continued, and I recognized it, so I opened the door. In the middle of my reaching for the handle, Ryoko said, "No. Wait..."

"It's just Shamisen," I explained, letting him in.

"Shamisen?" she said.

"My cat," I answered.

- x -

I know how odd this looks. Me and Ryoko (and Shamisen) in the living room, just chatting. It feels a little heavy-handed and contrived, but Ryoko really does have this weird phobia about stalkers, and she insisted that I hang onto Shamisen while she calmed down. That's fine, actually. Petting a cat in the cold is not a bad idea. You can share some warmth, and I'm sure Shamisen didn't mind. The real question was what Ryoko was doing near my home, but I guess it probably had something to do with Yuki. It would be kind of silly for Yuki to tell me all those Earth-shaking things and then let me get pushed over a bridge or run over by a car or something dumb like that.

Ryoko is really ridiculous when she's nervous, and I have this terrible desire to want to laugh at her, but I got the feeling that that would only bring Mom around, wondering what I was doing with a young woman at home so soon after sunset. I have a feeling that "just chatting" is probably not a convincing explanation, but it had a reasonable chance of being sufficient in this situation, so I just let that thought go.

I tend to ramble on and on like this, in particular when there's a good-looking girl sitting nearby, and I realized that Ryoko had admitted to having a talent for making dead bodies. I asked her, "So, you're basically a psycho killer, huh?"

"How rude," she softly complained. "I use my powers to save lives."

"Sorry," I said. "I was just kidding, there."

"Our lives might be at risk right now," she added.

"How?" I asked.

"That Asahina girl," she said. "She's really creepy."

"She's creepy?" I said, wondering if I should laugh.

Ryoko added, "Does she even realize what she's doing?"

"She is kind of strange," I admitted.

"I heard she kissed you," Ryoko chided me in a very nice way.

"She couldn't help it," I explained. "She was overcome with emotion, and I hear she has a crush on me."

Ryoko softly laughed and added, "That's funny."

"It's a kind of a heartwarming but tragic tale, isn't it?" I remarked.

She replied, "It's a pain, is what it is. I wouldn't even be going to this school if it weren't for her."

"You wouldn't?" I asked.

"No," she insisted. "I was supposed to help with preparations at Miss Suzumiya's school, but then this stupid temporal disturbance appeared."

"So," I asked, "you knew about Miss Asahina appearing here before April?"

She answered, "I knew there was going to be some kind of temporal disturbance. It was really only triggered by Miss Asahina. The disturbance was created by Miss Suzumiya."

"Okay, hold on," I said. "Miss Suzumiya caused some temporal disturbance way back then?"

"No," Ryoko answered. "What happened is we observed a future temporal disturbance. I guess I should say that it will happen here in the near future."

"When exactly?" I asked.

"Soon," she answered.

"You must be kidding me," I commented.

"It is like a weird joke, right?" she asked me.

"It is?" I asked her.

"Sure. Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Suzumiya."

"Suzumiya who?"

"I don't know. I haven't arrived yet."

I'm not sure if that was supposed to be funny. It seemed like the kind of cute thing that Ryoko would say, and that's actually pretty close to being genuinely amusing.

Ryoko then asked, "My name is in Miss Asahina's homework assignment?"

"Yeah," I answered. "There were ten questions pertaining to you and ten pertaining to Miss Nagato. Twenty questions pertained to Miss Suzumiya."

"I love a good riddle..." she softly commented. "Okay..."

"Yeah," I said. "They were probably just simple things like your appearance and such. Mundane things like daily habits and how you tend to converse with friends. That sort of thing."

Ryoko briefly looked at me like she wanted to strangle me, but then she suddenly smiled in her bright way again.

I added, "Miss Asahina probably only came here to the past so that she could basically cheat on her assignment."

"Right," Ryoko agreed. "She probably neglected to study at the proper time, then somehow found a way to access a TPDD."

"A what?" I asked.

"You humans are crazy," she said. "Dimensional manipulation like that is really dangerous."

"You don't need to tell me," I added.

As I started to wonder what a TPDD is, I began to realize that humans and aliens were united at least in our concern over time travelers. A time traveler would be filled with potential threats to everyone else, so we could put aside our differences in this, at least.

Ryoko then folded her arms and complained, "I can't believe I got so worked up over a cat."

"Naughty boy, Shamisen," I said, putting him down. "Go play nice."

Shamisen looked at me briefly, then left the room.

"What kind of name is 'Shamisen?'" Ryoko then asked.

"Yeah," I said, wondering, "that is weird..."

- x -

Later that night, I was reading in my bed when I got a call from Taniguchi. This was just the usual followup I was expecting, and I admit I had a lot to say to him.

"Hey," I said, answering the phone. "What's up?"

"So, how did your date go?" he asked.

"It was a little strange," I replied. "About what I expected, though. Yeah, she does have a little trouble conversing normally."

"Isn't she hot, though?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered, "I guess so."

"You guess so?" he said, a little indignant. "Man, are you blind?"

"I think we just have different standards," I explained.

"Yeah," he relented. "You ever figure out what that book was?"

"You care about some book?" I asked.

"It's been bugging me," he answered. "Yeah."

I told him, "I returned it. Didn't you hear?"

"Was that why that one chick kissed you?" he then asked.

"Yeah," I replied, "that was her book."

"Oh," he said. "Now, it makes sense. I should have figured it was something like that."

I was still a little ticked off at him for making me think something romantic might be hinted at this evening, and I decided to get to the bottom of that issue. I asked him, "Hey, what do you know about Yuki Nagato?"

He answered, "Everything you would need to know, of course. I told you I have a profile of all the first-year girls."

"First-year?" I asked, remembering that he had told me that the mystery girl was a second-year.

"Yeah," he replied. "Yuki Nagato is notoriously unsociable. She's kind of cute, but not really what I'd call hot. Kind of right on the borderline, you know? A total nerd with her head in a book all the time, so I can't say for sure whether she has a good personality."

This description of Yuki was so absolutely dead-on that I almost dropped the phone in astonishment with myself.

"Why?" he asked. "You have a thing for short girls?"

I shook my head in disgust and added, "I think I might have messed up."

I heard him laughing, and then he added, "I'm looking forward to the details."

"Yeah," I said, "I should really get the name of the girl I was supposed to meet tonight."

"Oh!" he exclaimed. "Ouch... That's going to hurt."

"Thanks for not telling me her name," I complained.

"This will go down as one of the classic blunders," he remarked.

"So?" I asked.

"Oh..." he finally answered. "Yeah. This chick who asked about you was Miss Tsuruya. I suppose you want the details."

"Not really," I softly answered, feeling a little sick, suddenly.

"Well, you can't miss her," he continued. "She's a really cute girl with long hair. A real chatterbox. Loves to gab constantly about nothing. You can usually find her by the constant laughter."

I instantly connected that description with a face. Yeah. Tsuruya. She is kind of infamous, and she'd actually been nice to me already a few times. This realization just made me feel even worse.

"Sorry, dude," he said, not actually sorry at all. "So, can you tell me what this Asahina chick is like?"

"She's a real sweetheart," I answered. "A bit of a ditz, but in a really nice way."

"Wow," he said, his rude assumptions doubtlessly bursting.

I added, "I don't think I really want to know what her deep, dark secret is."

"Yeah..." he agreed. "A girl that perfect must have something weird she's hiding."

I had assumed that Taniguchi had already spoken to her, but I guess they didn't exactly have a long conversation. I can't really blame her, but then she didn't exactly strike me as the rudely concise type, either.

- x -

By the time I woke up the next day, my parents had already left, so I made myself breakfast. It was nothing special. Just something to settle my stomach from that nasty bit of business I had left undone from last night. I was sitting there, wondering how I'd make up for that when I heard the doorbell ring. I went to answer with a certainty that this would be the unpleasant reckoning of that misadventure. I opened the door, and sure enough, there was Tsuruya (along with Taniguchi).

"Good morning," I said.

"Good morning," Taniguchi said very cheerfully. Bastard.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

He chuckled nervously and admitted, "I felt bad about what happened last night, so I went ahead and called Miss Tsuruya. She then told me to meet her here."

"Okay," I said. I then turned to her and said, "Miss Tsuruya? Hi. I'm sorry about last night."

She then glared at me for a few moments, then broke up into her characteristic laughter, adding, "This is hilarious."

"Is she okay?" I asked him.

Taniguchi sighed and answered, "Yeah, she does this a lot."

"Okay, I'm off," Tsuruya exclaimed. "See you guys later!"

"You want to explain that to me?" I asked.

"Could I come in?" he asked.

"Sure," I said, after a moment of hesitation.

Taniguchi then came in and warmed his hands, complaining, "Cold."

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Anyway," he continued, "as you can see, Miss Tsuruya isn't too broken up over what happened."

"What did happen?" I asked.

"You stood her up," he replied. "No, see. It's okay. Because what happened is she got so angry that she asked the 'cutest guy she could find' to fill in for you. It turns out he's kind of brain, as well. Weird, huh?"

"Sounds kind of irresponsible," I added.

"Yeah," he said, "you sure were."

"No," I said. "I mean, Miss Tsuruya."

"What do you mean by that?" he asked.

I explained, "This 'cute' guy she picked could have turned out to be a killer or something."

Taniguchi mysteriously added, "That book I found sure did cause a lot of trouble, huh?"

"Oh yeah," I answered. "That book is what Miss Nagato wanted to talk to me about."

"It's a pretty big rumor," Taniguchi added. "I wouldn't be surprised if everyone in town knows about Miss Asahina being a time traveler."

Taniguchi knows? How on Earth? Okay, this is getting out of hand.

"Hey, wait," he added. "Your family took off already?"

"Yeah," I answered. "It's a week-long vacation."

Taniguchi remarked, "A vacation from you. That's funny."

I added, "They said I 'earned' it with my exemplary behavior."

"You really are a nice guy," he said, a little too condescendingly.

"Okay. That's enough of that. You need to leave, now."

"I was just kidding. Jeez."

- x -

Sitting alone at home that morning was not the glamorous experience I had thought it would be. It was boring. It's hard to feel good about things when you're bored, so I guess I'm not surprised that I started wondering about Yuki and how boring a person she is. There's something compelling about her, and I can't quite put my finger on it, but that just makes it all the more irritating. Now, Mikuru... There was someone who would be nice to see. I'm sure she could make this day much more interesting. She might be having trouble with the rumors going around, but that would just make her all the more endearing. Nothing like an adventuring time traveler, facing perils at every turn. I doubt I'd even notice how cold it was with all that going on.

In the middle of this reverie, I suddenly heard the doorbell, opened the door, and saw Yuki.

"Good morning, Miss Nagato," I said.

"May I enter?" she asked.

"Oh, sure," I answered. "Come in."

"Thanks," she responded, entering.

I immediately regretted thinking that she was boring. Even someone sitting around reading books would liven the place up right now.

"You want something to drink?" I asked.

"No," she answered.

"So," I asked, "what's this about?"

"I am here to observe the conflict," she answered.

"Which one is that?" I asked.

"The one I spoke of," she replied.

Haruhi's face instantly sprang to mind, and I guessed, "With Miss Suzumiya, you mean?"

"Correct," Yuki said.

Haruhi's smiling face isn't something I can imagine attached to some strange conflict. This was especially true on that particular morning, because I think my disappointment with myself in the Tsuruya matter was making me feel all the more sentimental about Haruhi. The idea of a connection of some kind between me and her was growing stronger.

"What exactly is this conflict going to be?" I asked Yuki.

"It concerns school and projects," she answered.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really," she answered.

"Okay," I softly resolved to be content with that. "I'll try to make sure to preserve my existence."

I wasn't sure how that was supposed to work, but I guessed it had something to do with Mikuru and her odd crush on me. I didn't really want to follow through on that thought, though.

"You told me to do that, too," I remarked.

"Do whatever you need," Yuki added. "Please, do not let me get in the way."

"Anything you need?" I asked.

"Do you have something to read?" she asked.

"Sure," I said, thinking I really should have expected that.

- x -

Later that morning, I found myself retrieving books for Yuki, as she can go through a big stack in a fairly short time. Even when she's reading slowly, it's about as fast as I can imagine a person speed-reading. She sat at the table behind the sofa, reading, as I brought another stack.

"So, you like to read," I said.

"Yes," she answered.

"What do you think of that book?" I asked her.

"It's unique," she replied.

I briefly thought she was joking, because that book she was reading was about the least unique book I had ever read. It was one of those really thick horror novels that make you wonder about the author more than feel any real terror.

"It's amusing," she corrected herself.

"You find horror novels amusing?" I asked her.

She stated, "Nothing is more amusing than what humans consider terrifying."

"Okay," I said. "I'm just going to check out what's on TV. It's not that I consider what you're doing boring."

"Okay," she acknowledged.

I then turned on the TV and changed the channel a few times, not really improving my mood much. I then saw something very interesting all of a sudden. There was a news broadcast with a blurred-out picture of Mikuru's face.

"Oh, hey," I said. "Look at that. She's on TV."

They then switched to interviews with "people on the street" (whose faces were mostly blurred, as well). I then turned off the TV.

"What was that?" Yuki asked.

"Nothing," I answered. "Just something about rampant speculation, people talking about time travelers."

"Why did they blur their faces?" she asked.

I replied, "That's not something people like to be seen talking about. I can't really blame them, frankly."

"Why is that?" she then asked.

"Other people would think you're nuts," I explained. "That would just cause arguments. It'd be a big mess. Forget about it."

"Oh," she answered.

"You like doing school assignments?" I suddenly wondered.

"It's okay," she answered.

- x -

Having Yuki there made me think about the difference between what Mikuru had wanted and what Yuki had told me happened with the situation created by time travel. The longer Mikuru remained here, the more conflict she created, and she was probably aware of that. She was probably under some restrictions I was unaware of, like maybe only being able to time travel at particular moments or intervals. Yuki was probably aware of those restrictions. In fact, Yuki probably understood the situation a bit better than Mikuru herself. I have a sci-fi influenced imagination, so I was probably wrong about all this, but it just seemed to fit.

The thing that bothered me the most was the notion of time travel at all. Nothing could possibly be more perverse or wrong than the notion that time travel can happen, and you have to wonder about the sanity of people who believe in it. Time isn't some dimension you can travel through. Time is the effect of perception. Nothing more. People who believe in time travel always turn out to be delusional kooks who accumulate other delusional concepts like the notion of aliens and espers. This was a mighty uncomfortable subject for me to consider, looking at Yuki. Here was someone who not only spoke with authority on the subject of time travel, but who was a self-proclaimed alien to boot. If I was going to reject the utterly insane notion of time travel, I would have to toss out my whole conversation with her, and I really didn't want to do that. It seemed important.

For a moment, I began to think that I was approaching the fate of Domitian, cursed to be killed by a self-fulfilled prophesy, when I heard the doorbell ring. I went to the door and greeted Haruhi, who was escorting an unwilling Mikuru into my house.

"Good morning," I said, simultaneously cheered by their presence and dumbstruck by this new situation.

"Hi," Haruhi said as she dragged Mikuru along with her. She then had the nerve to complain, "Man! I had a heck of a morning. Took me forever to track her down."

"Track her down?" I wondered.

Haruhi added, "I finally found her hiding in the park. Can you believe that? Who the hell hides in a public park?"

I wondered about that, too. I then remarked, "I don't suppose you noticed that she's on the news."

She answered, "Oh yeah! There were all kinds of reporters all over the place. It was crazy!"

"So, why bring her here?" I asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Haruhi responded.

To have a crappy breakfast? To bug me some more? To find out if I knew more about Mikuru?

"She's a time traveler," Haruhi explained, "so she wouldn't exactly have a place to stay."

"Um..." Mikuru softly stated. "Actually... I do have a..."

"It only makes sense," Haruhi insisted. "You find the most ordinary house and stay there."

"That makes sense?" I asked, thinking that you'd actually want a much bigger house than this. You might need a lot of room to hide or to create diversions, decoys, set traps, etc.

"A needle among needles," Haruhi added. "It's elementary, Watson."

I sighed and finally stated the obvious, "Wouldn't going back to the future make more sense?"

"Aren't you interested?" Haruhi then asked.

"I am," I replied, "but I think I'd prefer to discuss it in the safety of retrospect."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

I answered, "What I mean is that I think we've gone from a pebble in a pond to an anchor in a mud puddle."

"What are you talking about?" she softly complained. "Oh, you mind if I check out what's on TV? I want to see if they mention her."

I was still feeling generous and I really didn't see how any of this could possibly be dangerous for me, so I just smiled and said, "Feel free. Hey. Mi casa es su casa."

"Muchas gracias," she responded.

- x -

I escorted them to the living room, and I remembered Yuki was still reading.

"Oh, right," I said. "Miss Asahina... Miss Suzumiya, this is Miss Yuki Nagato."

"Oh, hey," Haruhi said.

"Hello," Yuki greeted her.

Haruhi then sat at the sofa and tried the TV, changing channels at random.

"Oh, man," she said after about thirty seconds. "What's the deal? Isn't she on?"

"You may have to wait a while," I explained.

Haruhi then developed a scowl and asked, "So, is Nagato your girlfriend?"

"What?" I said. "No. We just met yesterday."

"What's she doing here?" Haruhi then asked.

"Reading," I replied.

"I can see that," she softly commented.

"Just leave her alone," I suggested.

Haruhi folded her arms and went back to the TV, saying, "Okay. Excuse me."

"Don't you have homework to do or something?" I asked her.

"Don't remind me," she replied, sounding a little disgusted.

"Is that what you were fighting about with Koizumi the other day?" I asked.

"Fighting?" she said. "Whoa. Look. Homework is no big deal, okay? Normally, I have no problem."

"So, what's the story?" I asked.

She answered, "The stupid teacher gave us a group assignment. We split up into groups of four."

"What happened?"

"Two of the people in my group are flaking out on me. It's this boring history report, and I'm stuck with Koizumi."

"Is that a problem? He seems pretty smart to me."

"He is, and we would ordinarily get along just fine, but he always procrastinates this type of thing."

"Yeah. I do the same thing, myself."

"Don't get me started. Anyway, I know if I leave it up to him we won't have it finished in time for one reason or another."

Okay. So Haruhi likes everything about Koizumi except for who he is as a person. They compete for attention, they compete for academic fulfillment, and they compete on project coordination. It's a bit of a wonder that they haven't descended to physical violence, but I could see Koizumi's incredible ability to deflect conflicts standing in the way of that. By way of comparison, if her boyfriend was someone like me, she would inevitably get all the attention, have carte blanche on academic responsibilities or anything relating to management of personnel. These seem to me like her strengths. My strength is the fact that I can clearly see all this and I don't think I would mind pointing this out to her at some point.

"I see," I stated. I don't always help my own cause with my restrained way of approaching problems.

"Um..." Mikuru interjected. "I could help you out. I'm actually pretty good at history."

"You are?" Haruhi asked her. "Why didn't you say so?"

- x -

Yuki and I later moved to the sofa to read and to keep an eye on what the media was saying, respectively. Mikuru and Haruhi went to the table to work on that project, and they were shortly joined by Koizumi, who appeared just before noon. They then immediately fought over who was responsible for what and who said what would be done and when things would be done and who could reasonably get certain things done and what was fair for who to do, etc. That went on for about ten minutes, and I became annoyed, so I put that to a halt.

Since I'm the one who's responsible for this house, I'm the one in charge around here. So I delegated the task of project research to Haruhi. I put Koizumi in charge of composition and the care of the various details, since he seemed to have a firm grasp on that (and Haruhi turned out to be surprisingly inept at that particular task). Mikuru I made sure was given a supporting role of answering very specific questions, and only a certain number of questions per hour. These actions meant that their project was soon two-thirds finished, and would soon be done. I felt confident that they wouldn't have to try and redo it, which was the main thing that initially bothered me.

Things were soon going so well that Koizumi even remarked, "It does have a kind of poetic quality to it."

"What?" Haruhi asked him.

He answered, "Doing our assignment with the help of someone whose assignment is us."

"Whose assignment is me, you mean," she corrected.

"Right," he said.

"Jeez," Mikuru complained. "Could we please not discuss my homework?"

Haruhi then accused her, "You're a cheater, aren't you?"

"No," Mikuru answered.

"Come on," Haruhi prodded her. "Admit it."

Mikuru then complained, "I went to the classified information to check out classified information, and all the classified information was already gone."

Haruhi remarked, "That's pretty amazing, in itself."

"Yeah," Koizumi said, adding, "I don't think she can control when she says that."

"Oh, jeez," Mikuru said. "I think Miss Nagato could handle this stuff better than I could."

"Why is that?" Haruhi asked.

"Well," Mikuru replied, "she is a classified information."

Haruhi grinned and added, "You're really adorable, Mikuru. You know that?"

"Hey," I said, gesturing to Mikuru's blurred face on TV, "there she is."

"All right," Haruhi said. "Finally. Hey!"

The TV then inserted a graphic next to her, showing what a time machine might look like. It was really gaudy and fifties-ish, like what you might expect from a really bad movie.

"That's messed up," I commented. "What the heck?"

"Oh man!" Haruhi complained. "Why did they blur her face?"

"It would be weird if they didn't," I softly commented.

"Not that it matters," Haruhi admitted.

"Yeah," I agreed. "You can totally tell who it is, anyway."

"Jeez," Mikuru complained.

"Hey, guys," Koizumi said. "We want to finish this, right?"

- x -

After Koizumi had left, I started to feel bad about him. He has all this talent and it's all going to waste on locking horns with Haruhi. Even with their divided responsibilities, Haruhi continued trying to inject her ideas on style, grammar, and citations. It was so clear to me that Koizumi had the superior experience that it was painful to watch him waffling, side-stepping, and even lying to her to avoid fighting. Even so, I wasn't about to intervene beyond what I had already done. It was kind of enjoyable seeing Koizumi navigate these personal obstacles like some kind of elaborate dating sim. I wondered just how far he could go in that, but then it kind of made me feel bad for Haruhi.

It then occurred to me that Koizumi has this effect on her. His constant smirking, confidence prodding, and reinterpreting was something he really couldn't control, and it had the effect of making Haruhi smile, become manic, and charge into her problems mindlessly. That her inevitable failures resulted from his encouragements was obvious and only served to add conflict to their relationship. It only seemed natural to want to encourage her, but it seemed to me that he was going about it all wrong. It was so obvious to me that I could only wonder why it never occurred to him. Maybe Koizumi just doesn't really like Haruhi. It was an odd thought, and I just couldn't accept it.

In any case, Haruhi had wound down after watching some TV, and it seemed to me that Mikuru was becoming anxious about something. She kept looking at her wrist, but I didn't see anything on the wrist she kept glancing at.

"Maybe we should eat," Haruhi suggested. "I haven't had lunch yet."

"I don't know if I have anything you want," I admitted.

"Oh, well," she said. "I don't want to impose. Isn't your family here?"

"No," I answered, a little annoyed at this question again. "Like I said, they just went on vacation."

"Oh, right," Haruhi said. "I forgot."

"So, what's the story with you and Koizumi?" I asked. "I mean, if you don't mind me asking."

"That's okay," she answered. "It's pretty obvious, right?"

"Yeah, that's what I don't get," I added. "Why don't you get along? You seem like a good couple."

"Yeah," she admitted, "but there's more to it than just these situations like homework."

"Like what?" I asked.

"Well, okay. You know how he's really into academics and all that?"

"Yeah."

"There are times when he just gets really into it. I mean, like really into it."

"And?"

"And he starts to get really excited about it. And he starts up with that staring, you know?"

"He does?"

Haruhi scowled in a very obvious way, and her voice started getting darker as she continued, "Oh yeah. When he starts talking about something he's interested in, he gets excited and he takes a step closer to you. I kind of get uncomfortable when people don't respect my space, and I have a tendency to look down when that happens. Koizumi, though... He just gets turned on by that. It's funny, and he doesn't seem to realize it, but when that happens he just starts getting closer and closer, and before you know it, he's like an inch from your face."

"He has boundary issues, huh?" I asked.

At that moment, I heard a beeping, and I looked around. It seemed to be coming from Mikuru, but she wasn't reacting.

"Yeah," Haruhi replied. "What's with that beeping?"

"Oh!" Mikuru said, suddenly looking at that wrist. Her wrist, which had been bare before, suddenly had a very interesting device on it, and I think the beeping was coming from that.

"Whoa!" Haruhi said, taking notice. "That's..."

Haruhi got up and started moving toward Mikuru, but Mikuru apparently panicked and started pressing something on that device. I got up to stop Haruhi from interfering with Mikuru, but the moment I grabbed Haruhi's arm, I felt a sickening surge go through my body, and suddenly the world flipped like I had performed some acrobatics.


	9. Nervous

- Chapter 4: Nervous

The world suddenly seemed book-like, and it flipped through scenes of streets and houses like someone quickly flipping through pages of a book. I instantly had the impression of Yuki reading a book, and it seemed to my imagination like I was floating through a world-sized book being held in Yuki's careful hands. I suddenly thought that it was a damn good thing that Yuki likes to be precise and methodical about things, but then that just made me realize how ridiculous I was being. I had simply neglected to warn Haruhi about the dangers of toying with time travelers, and I thought for a moment that I should scold myself for neglecting this duty.

I then felt as though I had landed, and I looked around, discovering that I was in a park at night. Haruhi and Mikuru were also nearby, in the same positions as they had just been in a few moments ago.

I complained, "I think Koizumi isn't the only one with boundary issues. You know, you should really learn to ask people before you start playing with their belongings."

"I wasn't playing," Haruhi responded. "I was just going to check it out."

"Oh no!" Mikuru exclaimed.

"What?" I asked.

"I can't find it!" she answered.

"Can't find what?" I asked.

"That's classified!" she replied. "It's gone!"

"What?" Haruhi asked. "It isn't on your wrist?"

"No!" Mikuru replied.

"Weird," Haruhi said. "I wonder why that happened."

"Probably because you touched it," I said, though I couldn't recall Haruhi doing that.

Mikuru then added, "It does have a built-in safety feature that makes it classified information if you don't remember to classified information."

"Is Nagato here?" Haruhi said, looking around.

I answered, "I think she moved to a safe distance the moment that thing started beeping."

"It's warm!" Haruhi complained, taking off her jacket. "I can't wear my jacket in this heat."

I took off my jacket and said, "Yeah, weird. All of a sudden..."

"I think we traveled through time," Mikuru explained.

"Hey, Kyon," Haruhi said. "Give me your slippers."

"Why?" I asked.

She answered, "All I have are my socks for my feet."

"You want me to be barefoot?"

"Aren't you a man?"

"You should have thought of this before you messed with Miss Asahina's thing. Her TPDD."

"Her what?"

Mikuru looked very surprised, and she asked me, "How do you know what it's called?"

"I didn't," I admitted. "Thanks for letting me know, though."

"Jeez," Mikuru complained.

This left to me to wonder how Ryoko had known what it was called, but then Haruhi added, "That wasn't just a lucky guess, there."

"I've been having the weirdest luck, actually," I stated, suddenly wondering if it was all just luck.

- x -

As we started down the sidewalk, I suddenly realized that my infatuation with Haruhi had been a huge mistake. She definitely is a trouble-maker, and I realized I would be lucky to get out of this situation alive. The thing is, I didn't have any proof, but I felt like Haruhi really was responsible for all this, simply because she was bored. Even if all she had done was to scare Mikuru into fumbling her controls, that still counts in my book.

My instincts about time travel had proven to be disastrously wrong, though. It was revolting. Imagine if you sailed to the edge of the Earth and you discovered that the world really is flat. That's about what it felt like to me. It was wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Why on Earth is something like this even possible? I think I could have gotten some kind of answer from Koizumi, but I have a feeling that his explanation probably would have been about as helpful as shooting arrows at your archery textbook as a way to practice your archery. I could have asked Mikuru, but I didn't want to believe her. As enticing as the idea of time travel is, I would have just ended up viewing her as a clumsy fiend, mindlessly endangering her own existence in the endeavor to satisfy her curiosity.

Somehow, Haruhi had begun venting about Koizumi, and I found myself just agreeing with her to avoid causing more trouble.

Haruhi continued, "He doesn't just complain about his family. He gets into these stupid arguments with me about his mother. It's weird. Like I had something to do with his mother. He procrastinates doing his homework, too."

"I know," I said. "You already told me about that."

"Oh," she said. "But he doesn't just put it off. He'll save it for right before class, and then do it right before class starts."

"Yeah," I said. I then added, "I do that myself, sometimes."

"That's just stupid, though," Haruhi insisted. "I mean, you really should just get that stuff out of the way at the first opportunity."

I observed, "You don't like worrying about your obligations, huh?"

"I like to have time for the things I want to do," she corrected me. "Isn't that the best way to do things?"

"I don't know," I said. "It makes more sense to me to do class assignments in class. After all, that's where you take the test, right?"

Yeah. The bulk of pointless memorization should confine itself to the stupidity of the classroom. After all, that's where the educational system perpetrates this crime in the first place. Wasted opportunities should be housed in the jail of wasted space lorded over by the mindless zombies of failed policies and neglected adolescents. That this disease attempts to spread itself to one's residence makes it to my mind like a plague, not content to infect people merely in its point of origin but everywhere it can.

"Homework is stupid," I added. "They should just drop it from the curriculum."

"I won't argue with that," Haruhi said.

We then came to an odd gate, and I recognized it as a school.

"Hey," Haruhi said. "I recognize this. This is East Middle."

"What?" I asked.

"My old middle school," she added.

"Oh," I said.

Haruhi started to climb over the gate as she said, "Let's go check it out."

"What for?" I asked the air. "Oh, because you're bored, right?"

She then opened the gate for me and Mikuru, and I entered.

"Right," I answered myself.

- x -

We approached a school field, and I started to wonder if we were just wandering around randomly, when Haruhi stated, "Yeah, this is the old field. This is right where..."

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. So..." She looked oddly terrified, and she babbled, "What's up with Nagato? Are you her boyfriend?"

"I already told you, I'm not," I said, looking down at the ground. "What's with this weird chalk outline? Oh..."

I then noticed a girl emerging from the field. Haruhi had turned aside to me, and it seemed that she was searching for some expression on my face that would satisfy her.

"Tanabata..." she softly said, and I assumed she meant that this was that old star festival derived from Qixi. You know? The holiday where you traditionally write your wishes for the future on tanzaku and tie them off to a bamboo tree?

The girl noticed us and asked, "Who are you guys? What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "Hey, wait..." I said, realizing who the girl was. "Your name is Haruhi Suzumiya, right?"

"That's right," she answered, and Mikuru fainted. The girl then asked, "What's your name? And what's up with her?"

"I'm John Smith," I answered, checking Mikuru to see if she was all right. "And don't worry about her. She's a bit of a narcoleptic. She just gets these fainting spells."

Haruhi still seemed a little freaked out, and she softly said, "What the hell?"

"Who are you?" the girl asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Haruhi said, suddenly bold and filled with panache.

"It is kind of hard to tell in this light," I admitted casually, just to help the illusion.

"I'm you from the future!" Haruhi exclaimed.

"Yeah, right," the girl sneered. "Who are you, really?"

"She's right, actually," I told her.

"And your name is John Smith?" she asked, incredulous. "Am I supposed to believe that?"

I explained, "Let's just say it isn't important who I am, okay?"

"Yeah!" Haruhi added. "Forget about him. What's important is that you go to North High. That's where all the cool, exciting stuff is happening in the future."

"You don't have to do homework?" the girl asked.

"Homework is optional at my school," I said, wondering just how much she would believe.

"Oh, hey!" the girl said. "That's cool."

"Boyfriends are optional, too," Haruhi added.

"Yeah!" the girl exclaimed. "That's cool."

I softly remarked, "Wouldn't it be weird if they weren't optional?"

"You hush," Haruhi told me, then turned back to the girl. "The important thing is that you not let your stupid father talk you into going to some snooty high school that'll just bore you."

"Yeah!" the girl exclaimed. She then looked confused and asked, "Huh? You know my father?"

"Of course, I do," Haruhi answered. "I'm you from the future."

The girl then asked, "If you're me, then what's my mother like?"

"Totally useless, of course," Haruhi complained a little angrily. "I do all the household chores."

"Really?" I asked, suddenly feeling a stab of sympathy for her.

The girl looked a little depressed at this, and I felt sorry for her too.

"Wow," I said. "That sucks."

"Yeah," Haruhi admitted casually, "it's kind of depressing."

"Is this guy your boyfriend?" the girl asked.

"This guy?" she answered. "He could be..."

Could be? Oh man. How about no? I don't want to ruin a young girl's dreams, but I don't want her getting the wrong idea, either.

"Really?" the girl asked. "He seems kind of stupid."

"That's okay," Haruhi assured her, "because messing with him is fun! You'll love it."

"Okay," the girl said, cheerful again. "You know? You are cool. Yeah. I'm going to North High when I'm older!"

The girl then ran off, disappearing into the night.

I then said, "Now, this is a spectacular example of a paradox. I mean, considering where you go to high school."

"Oh, right," Haruhi added. "I hadn't really thought about it."

- x -

So, now we were walking down the sidewalk, me carrying Mikuru on my back, and Haruhi with the thought of having to wonder what fate she might have given herself in some unknowable future. I feel like an ass for saying this, but Mikuru isn't anywhere near as light as she looks. My lower back was starting to hurt, but I don't think Haruhi was quite up to the task of helping me. She may be fit, but she looks like she doesn't exactly have a lot of stamina.

"That was fun, huh?" I asked her.

"Yeah," she softly admitted.

"Now what?" I asked.

Never mind the thrill of discovery. This isn't a sci-fi novel. I may find the evils of misplaced rote learning to be a vile scourge of society, but I actually do enjoy learning, even in a classroom. I didn't want to have to suddenly find myself a juvenile delinquent, cursed to roam the streets, begging for handouts. No thanks.

"I mean," I said, "we're still three years in the past. Life is going to get kind of awkward if we have to have two of each of us."

"Yeah," she added, "what would people think?"

"You don't care what people think, do you?" I asked.

"I think I do, actually," she admitted. "This is really bothering me."

I guessed, "You mean, what life is going to be like for the younger version of yourself?"

"No," she answered. "I mean, what the heck are we going to do? Are we stuck here? I can't go back home, can I?"

"Yeah," I said, trying to imagine it, "that would be rough to try and explain to your parents."

My mother would enjoy this, actually, but I can't speak for Haruhi's mother. My mother would instantly put me to work in some bizarre commune of a relative of hers, and that would be the end of the story for me. The thought of that is somewhat amusing, but then I would prefer to have my old mother's attitude: the slow, dull ache of constant disappointment mixed with the faint illusion of hope for the future.

"It's more than just that," I added.

"I know," Haruhi said. "This is weird. Is this my life?"

"Come on," I told her. "You know you love it."

"Yeah," she answered.

"You have friends back at that other high school, right?" I asked her.

"No," she replied.

"No?" I asked.

She explained, "I'm not good with people, okay? Friends just get in the way of the things I want to do."

"You want to find aliens and time travelers?" I guessed.

"Yeah," she answered.

"And hang out with them, right?" I asked.

She replied, "That sounds pretty cool. And, hey. One out of two ain't bad."

"You want to go for two out of two?" I then asked.

"What do you mean by that?" she wondered.

"I mean," I said, shifting Mikuru a bit, "my feet are getting sore. I'd really like to go somewhere."

- x -

We came to a park, and I carefully set Mikuru down on a bench. I then sat next to Haruhi on another bench.

"Man, she's out of it," I observed. "People from the future are delicate, I guess."

Haruhi added, "They aren't afraid to show their feelings, from what I hear."

"Yeah," I said. "No kidding. That was shocking."

"I wonder what they do for fun?" she asked.

"Probably the same thing as us," I answered.

With the evidence of a homework assignment, I think we had discovered that the future of schooling probably hasn't changed much in that respect. A home for people to return to also seemed to be in evidence, and I doubted that would change even in a perfect world. It made me wonder whether Mikuru was feeling homesick, and I didn't doubt that. You can't live in the past, figuratively or literally. All this speculating about Mikuru made me wonder about Yuki. Does she have somewhere she considers a home, or has she evolved beyond that? She didn't seem to have much in the way of decor at her place of residence, but it did seem a bit like a home when I had been there.

After a few minutes of silent contemplation, Mikuru then slowly stirred and sat up. Haruhi told her, "Good morning." It was late in the evening, actually.

"We're stuck in the past," Mikuru remembered, looking around. "Oh no!"

"Here we go again," I said, expecting her to faint again.

"It's okay," Mikuru said. "I think I can keep it together." She then started crying.

"I guess this is an improvement," I softly commented.

"I'm stuck in the past!" Mikuru complained. "I'm going to die here!"

"What would Koizumi do in a situation like this?" I asked Haruhi.

She replied, "Probably talk for an hour about the fact that I can't remember talking to myself, before."

"So, this is like a whole new world," I realized.

"We could have just changed the world," she pointed out.

"Okay," I said, "but then why are we still here?"

"What?" Haruhi asked.

I noticed Mikuru begin to calm down, and that reminded me of what Yuki had told me. This gave me a bit of confidence that we could deal with this situation, but we'd first have to figure it out.

"Well," I explained, "think about it. If you go to North High, then how do you go back to the past to send yourself to North High?"

"I think I see what you mean," Haruhi admitted.

"We didn't just vanish," I added, "so that must mean this is like a new world."

"A new time plane," Mikuru supplied.

"Is that it?" I asked.

Mikuru continued, "I came from a different time plane than the one you existed in. And now, this is a third time plane."

"None of that is classified?" Haruhi asked her.

"Time travel is actually pretty generally known in my era," Mikuru casually informed her.

"Why on Earth would people time travel?" I complained.

"Why not?" Mikuru asked me.

"Yeah," Haruhi agreed. "Life without time travel would be boring, don't you think?"

I sighed and said, "I think we need another opinion."

"You mean, Nagato?" Haruhi guessed.

"Right," I answered.

"What's the big deal about her?" Haruhi asked.

"She's an alien," I replied, "okay?"

Since time travel was clearly real, Haruhi seemed to be satisfied about the thought of aliens. She really should have guessed that this was what I had up my sleeve, anyway.

I added, "Maybe she has a special book on time travel. I just want to get back to my own time."

- x -

As we approached Yuki's apartment, I began to think it was a mistake. There was no guarantee that Yuki would be here, and no reason in particular for her to let us enter, even if she were here. If Yuki didn't think Haruhi was all that important just yet, there might even be the chance that we were risking our lives. I didn't want a big fight with her, but then this was really my only option. I sighed and pressed the buttons for her door number at the keypad. I then spoke to the microphone next to it.

"Hi," I said. "You wouldn't know me, but I have Haruhi Suzumiya here. Would it be okay if we came in?"

The door then opened, and the three of us went inside.

- x -

We entered Yuki's apartment, and I was relieved that everything was the same as the way I remembered it. We sat at her table, and I explained our situation.

"I see," Yuki said. "The difficulty is that you have initiated a new temporal plane and have lost the means to traverse to your own."

"What does that mean?" Haruhi asked.

Yuki explained, "It means that I cannot resolve your difficulty. If you had left your own time plane unaltered, then it would be a simple matter of permitting any possible alterations to lapse and then stopping the flow of temporal data in your local situation."

"Simple?" Mikuru wondered.

Yuki added, "Traversal of temporal planes is not possible for humanoid interfaces such as myself. Even within your own temporal plane, I would still require synchronization to accommodate your task."

"Why is that?" Haruhi asked, apparently understanding immediately what Yuki was saying.

"Without synchronization," Yuki replied, "there is a strong likelihood that I would create another paradox in the attempt to return you to your era. Given that you are outside your destination time planes, this point is moot."

"This sounds like a fun problem," I remarked.

"What?" Haruhi said, looking at me funny.

"Don't you like seemingly unsolvable problems?" I asked her. "I know I do."

"Yeah..." she answered. "But how?"

I thought for a moment and said, "The real question isn't how. The real question is why."

"I'm sorry," Haruhi complained. "You just lost me."

I turned to Mikuru and asked her, "What I mean is, why Miss Suzumiya? I don't think I've received a satisfactory answer."

"Are you talking to me?" she asked.

"Yes, you," I answered. "You've been holding out on us. What's the big deal with Miss Suzumiya? Why did your assignment give you twenty questions about her and only ten about Miss Nagato and Miss Asakura?"

"I really can't answer that," Mikuru softly responded.

"You can't or you won't?" I asked.

"I mean," she added, "even if I could..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Haruhi asked.

"Could you tell me or Koizumi?" I asked Mikuru.

"I..." she replied. "I don't think that Koizumi would understand, but..."

I thought back for a moment and informed them, "I was told recently to preserve my existence. To that end, I was told that I would soon 'uncover disturbing patterns.'" I was also told that this might result in a certain relationship, but I think I'll leave that part out.

Mikuru looked then like she feared for her own existence. I think she was starting to appreciate why I would object to the idea of time travel.

I added, "I was also informed that if I was 'selected,' that I would be 'linked with a massive alteration of absolute data.'"

"That sounds familiar," Haruhi softly commented, looking at Yuki.

Yuki remarked, "I see. To give you more information would have resulted in a catastrophe. I can offer you no more, myself. However, since this situation was most likely created by the Data Integration Thought Entity, I will offer you the use of this apartment until you have resolved that difficulty."

Haruhi guessed, "That Data Entity is like your boss?"

"Correct," Yuki answered.

"Why...?" Haruhi started, probably wondering what details we were all omitting.

I told Yuki, "I think I'm starting to figure this out. Thanks."

- x -

Yuki had told me that one of one-hundred and sixty-nine potential purposes lay in my future, and I was starting to realize that Haruhi needed to trust in me to help her preserve her dignity. She probably would have been okay in this situation without me, but I doubt she would have found a place to collect herself this easily, and I think she would have had trouble going unnoticed. With me in this situation, we could live for at least a few days as we would normally until whatever needed to happen happened. That seemed to be the answer to that puzzle.

Ryoko had told me that Haruhi would create some kind of temporal disturbance. She hadn't bothered to tell me how that was going to happen, but I assumed it would be something other than the way Mikuru does it. Ryoko didn't seem all that impressed with Mikuru's TPDD, but she did give special emphasis to the mystery of Haruhi's temporal exploits. This was something that remained a mystery, although I was starting to realize that it was important.

I got up that morning in Yuki's bedroom, mostly because I was being forced to sleep on the floor. Haruhi and Mikuru were asleep next to each other on the other side of the room from me. This arrangement seemed less comfortable for Mikuru than for Haruhi, and I'm more surprised I was able to fall asleep in the first place. Due to the fact that there was a roughly six hour leap forward in time in addition to the leaping backward about three years, none of us could get to sleep before three in the morning, anyway. I went to the living room and found Yuki sitting at her table.

"Good morning," she said.

"You can't sleep either?" I asked.

She replied, "This interface only requires two hours, seven minutes, and thirty-point-eight seconds of standby each day."

"Must be nice," I softly commented.

I briefly wondered if she needed to eat, but then I had noticed some empty food wrappers in the kitchen earlier, which seemed like mute testimony to that necessity.

"This is nice," I added.

"What?" she asked.

I answered, "Just getting up and chatting about nothing. I wish I could just continue doing that."

"You have a decision to make," Yuki added.

"Yeah," I said, still wondering how I would do that. "I'm just trying to sort it out for myself."

"Could I assist you?" she asked.

"I thought you couldn't offer any more," I reminded her.

She added, "To the question of absolute data alterations, I cannot. I can, however, help with other issues."

"Okay," I said. "How about this? What would happen if you just froze the three of us? That is, me, Miss Suzumiya, and Miss Asahina."

She answered, "You would erase your existence in one time plane in favor of another."

"Isn't Miss Suzumiya vital to the future?" I asked.

"Yes," Yuki replied, "but she can be replaced, as far as time travelers are concerned."

"Would having two of her cause problems for you?" I asked.

She replied, "They would provide entertaining interactions, as you have already witnessed, but they would otherwise pose no problem for my purposes."

I thought for a moment and then asked, "Suppose that I knew of a certain event, but then I decided to make it not happen. What would that cause?"

"That would cause a temporal paradox," she replied.

"Right," I said. "But what if this event had already happened in some previous time plane?"

This seemed to be a puzzle to Yuki as much as it was to me.

I continued, "This is what I don't get. Do time planes just stack one on top of another, or can they branch out like tree limbs?"

"I see," Yuki added. "You actually have no choice in the matter."

"Is that so?" I asked, very skeptical about that.

"Yes," she answered.

So, it looked like I would just have to rely on Haruhi for the way out of this. Finding out how Haruhi could do something like leap between time planes would be my problem to solve. It seemed like a cruel puzzle, but I've solved worse.

"What if I just stopped existing?" I asked her. "Not just in that other time plane, but in every time plane?"

"I cannot permit that," Yuki replied.

"So," I said, "I'm stuck with this because Miss Suzumiya was bored?"

"Yes," she answered.

"How can I know you're telling me the truth?"

"You can't."

"I'm just going to have to trust you."

"That's right."

Something was amiss here. Yuki actually did understand more than she was letting on, so I decided to try to prompt that information out of her. I asked her, "Is Miss Suzumiya really all that important?"

Yuki hesitated for a few moments, then said, "The answer to that would solve the problem of autonomous evolution."

"I see," I said, starting to figure out Yuki's angle.

"What?" she prompted.

I softly laughed and commented, "So, what it basically comes down to is that your boss is cheating on his homework assignment."

Yuki didn't seem to know how to respond to that. She glared at me in a puzzled way for a few moments, then looked away. She then let the matter drop.

- x -

Okay, I'm not stupid. This situation has romance written all over it. I can't just plunge in headfirst, but I'm not about to look away from a gift, either. Later that morning, Haruhi was up and about, and we somehow decided to take a walk in the park. It seemed like a better way to kill time than sitting around.

Walking with her is actually pretty pleasant. I'm not sure whether it's this situation, but she seemed pretty content, and that just meant that here was this incredibly cute girl who didn't immediately run away at the thought of being with me. Just the thought of being with her is fun, too, considering I'm never quite sure when she might break out that crazy smile and start talking about something outrageous. Yeah. That wasn't happening either. I was just having a nice, pleasant walk with someone who enjoys this sort of thing. We had gone from just before winter to early summer, and we were wearing nice casual clothes, thanks to Yuki providing them. There was nothing else to do but this. If this situation just kept going on and on forever, I don't think I would have objected.

Frankly, it was all a little too romantic and sweet, so I said, "Okay. The problem is this: How do we have fun today without spending any money or bumping into people who know us?"

Haruhi asked, "That's the problem?"

"Yeah." I said.

She thought for a moment and answered, "I think the only place that qualifies for that is the library."

"You don't like reading?"

"Books seem a little..."

"Sounds like a great idea to me."

"Sounds like something my boyfriend would do, constantly."

Here's a twist. Let's bring up the boyfriend. Behind this thought was the thought that maybe she was toying with the exciting notion of cheating on him with me. It seemed kind of silly, considering how serious both of them are and how strained their relationship had seemed to become.

"He likes books?" I guessed.

"He loves books," she said. "I can never have a decent conversation with him because of books."

"Is he ashamed of you?" I wondered.

"No," she said, after thinking about it for a few moments.

"Then why does he always call you 'Miss Suzumiya?' That makes no sense."

"It's just his way. He's kind of weird that way."

"He'd have to start calling you 'Haruhi,' at some point."

"I wish. No, we could probably be having sex, and he'd still call me 'Miss Suzumiya.'"

I sighed and shook my head at the image that came to me in that moment.

"It's okay to laugh at that," she said.

"Sorry," I said. "I just suddenly had this weird... It's nothing."

"What?" she asked, smiling and curious.

"You really want to know?" I asked, because it was disturbing.

"Yeah," she insisted. "What were you just imagining?"

"Okay..." I said, softly explaining, "I was just picturing you as his maidservant, and he'd be cheating on his wife with you. You'd keep telling him to call you 'Haruhi,' while he would insist on calling you 'Miss Suzumiya.'"

She looked a little stunned at that, and I thought it was because it was so explicit.

"I'm sorry," I said. "It's just my perverse imagination. Please, don't be offended."

"No," she explained, "it's actually pretty apropos. Yeah, that about covers it."

- x -

We went to the library and we actually had a lot of fun there. The library has a lot more than just books. We spent a few hours reading magazines and watching some videos (though they were pretty old). We ended up at a bench outside the library later that afternoon. Somehow, the subject of her boyfriend came up again, and I thought there must have been something she liked about having a boyfriend.

"You share in each other's homework, right?" I guessed.

"Not really," she answered. "Like I said, he always waits till the last minute."

"Seems like a waste," I said. "I mean, that would seem like one of the perks of being in a relationship."

"You wish," she said.

"So, what's the point?" I asked. "I mean, there has to be something you like about being in a relationship."

"You'd think that," she remarked, "but it's basically all down to sex."

"Sex?" I said, thinking how wrong that seemed. "He doesn't really strike me as the..."

"I mean," she casually admitted, "I like to picture him when I..."

"Oh," I said. Okay, I'll just pretend I didn't hear that.

"No," she added, grinning and punching me in the shoulder. "It's funny, but I feel like I can tell you anything."

"You do?" I wondered.

"Yeah," she answered. "I normally don't talk this much with anyone, but I feel like you could handle just about anything."

"Don't get carried away," I warned her. "I mean, I love chatting with you, but there are limits."

I don't think Haruhi really understood what she was telling me. Did she? She didn't, I think. As we sat there in silence, I began to really wonder whether it was a good idea for her to trust me this much. I mean, I really like her, but if she has a habit of making trouble, there might be problems for us, too. I should admit that I get this comfortable feeling with her, like I would be at home with having her near me, but we would have problems. I think the main thing that would get in the way between us is her attitude towards reading. I actually enjoy reading, but she only reads what she needs to read as a result of some other hobby or assignment. The other thing that really bothers me is that we don't quite seem to be on the same wavelength in our conversations. I don't always feel like I'm getting through to her. This isn't a big deal, but I could see it erupting into serious arguments if the situation was becoming really tense for other reasons. I think she may have other problems, like her attitude toward money is curiously serious, but that's a pretty minor thing as far as I'm concerned.

"Would you hold hands?" she then softly asked me.

"Yeah," I replied. "I mean, if we were going out and stuff, that would be nothing."

"See?" she said. "He doesn't even do that."

"Hold on," I said. "You've been going out with this guy for six months?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"And he won't even hold hands?" I asked, disbelieving.

"Yeah," she replied.

"Oh, jeez," I softly complained.

"I know," she added. "It's pathetic."

"So," I asked her, "do you want to switch?"

"To you?" she asked, scowling a little.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Yeah, sure," she said. "Why not?"


	10. Hole In the World

- Chapter 5: Hole In the World

When Haruhi and I returned to Yuki's, I noticed that Mikuru had been busy helping Yuki decorate her place a bit better. I think she noticed right away from the look in my eyes how things had changed between me and Haruhi. I got the feeling she was a little surprised, but it also looked like she approved, as well. That was definitely not the reaction I was expecting, but oh well. People convey their feelings in strange ways.

Haruhi and I spent some time alone in Yuki's bedroom just to be alone together, and I learned that you don't have to kiss or anything to have romantic interactions. In fact, between holding hands and kissing is a whole world of interaction that I hadn't realized existed. Koizumi didn't really know what he was missing out on. Haruhi focuses a lot on her hands, and I think her hands are very sensitive. She has this kind of touch-language she's developed, and I really liked a lot of what her hands were telling me. I'm pretty sure she was enjoying that language even more. She conveyed to me a lot of depth of feeling to me, or so it seemed, and I began to feel right at home with the thought of Haruhi being near me, as I had expected would happen.

I warned her about her tendency to ignore me, but she just looked at me and melted away that concern. I get the feeling that she just thinks I'm being stupid sometimes, and maybe I am. I really shouldn't take myself so seriously, but I doubt I'm ever going to see eye-to-eye with her on this issue. About books, Haruhi told me that as long as she could have her way with me, she didn't really care if I spent a few hours reading. It then occurred to me that at least I wouldn't have to fight with her over books that I wanted to read, and I really don't mind the thought of Haruhi having her way with me, as long as that didn't mean she'd be throwing out my books. If anything, I think Haruhi holds herself back a little too much. In fact, I got the feeling that there was something she wasn't telling me that I really needed to know.

We kept to the same sleeping arrangements, although I think Mikuru was a bit more comfortable, and I was the one who worried that Haruhi might try something, but of course she didn't. We played a lot of games the next day, and I found that Yuki really enjoyed that. In fact, of the four of us, Yuki probably likes games the most. Yuki learned how to play a number of games from us, and some variations from Mikuru that seemed interesting. Mikuru also enjoys reading, albeit not as much as Yuki, but I learned from her reading selection that she's a sucker for cheesy romance novels. It fits so well with my image of her, that I think I don't mind her not showing any sign of having had a crush on me. I realized that I only had Koizumi's word for that in first place, anyway.

The whole time, I kept thinking that there was something missing. In particular, Haruhi needed to convey to me something vital. Some piece of the puzzle was missing from all this. She was understandably confused by my earlier musings, and she brought up the subject later, as we were sitting around the table having tea.

"We're still alive," I remarked. "That's something."

She complained, "I don't know what we're waiting for."

"You're bored?" I asked.

She answered, "Don't get me started."

I picked up a stack of books and said, "We have all this stuff we can study."

"I think we're good to go," she answered.

"You're just saying that, right?" I prodded her.

She answered, "I think I'm saying what we're all thinking."

"Come on," I insisted. "You know you love studying."

"You're killing me," she softly complained.

I found that all amusing, but I put away the books, as I could see that she was serious.

"We could play another game," Mikuru suggested, and that seemed to set Haruhi off a little.

"Could we talk?" Haruhi asked me, and that was her usual signal that we needed to be alone.

- x -

I went with Haruhi to Yuki's bedroom and sat as Haruhi leaned against a wall with her arms folded.

"Getting tired of the tea?" I asked.

"Getting sick of us," she answered. "It's been two whole days. I don't know what we're doing here."

"There's still one more thing left to figure out," I said.

"Meanwhile," Haruhi added, "Mikuru is going to drive me nuts."

"You're jealous?" I asked.

"Yeah, right," she said, rolling her eyes. "You can't sucker me with that one again. No, I mean with that constant staring."

"She obviously idolizes you," I admitted.

Haruhi complained, "Even Koizumi never stares at me that much. It's freaky."

"You have a lot to look at," I casually remarked.

She smirked and said, "Well, of course. But, come on!"

"Everybody's a little bored," I said in my most serious tone. "Honestly, even I get a little bored from all that reading."

"You know how much I hate it," she added.

"Did a book break your toe when you were young or something?" I asked.

"Books always suck in some weird way," she replied.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean," she answered, "they're never fun or exciting enough. If it's non-fiction, it never tells me what I really want to know. It's so irritating!"

"Let's figure something out that you would like," I offered.

"Okay," she answered.

"Have a seat," I said.

"Okay..." she said, sitting next to me.

"What filled your time when you were young?"

"I don't know. Just normal stuff."

"What does that mean?"

"I mean, just doing things around the house that needed to be done. It felt good. Watching TV or talking with my mother. She mostly did all the talking, though."

"You weren't very talkative?"

"I didn't have anything to talk about. I was young."

"Okay."

"I liked art."

"Art?"

"I could sit and stare at a painting for hours. That was fun, actually."

I had a good laugh when she said that, and I added, "I get it."

"What?" she asked.

I guessed, "You were really boring as a child, right?"

She softly complained, "You don't have to rub it in."

"But that explains it," I said.

"Explains what?"

"Your obsessions, I mean. Think about it. You never got in much trouble as a child, right?"

"Yeah."

"So, your mother, being the talkative type, would just naturally brag about what a super special child you were."

I don't think Haruhi had really thought about any of this. Maybe she was learning as much as I was.

I continued, "And then some idiot like me would come along and say, 'Wow, you're right. I've never even heard of someone like that. She really is special.' You became confused about what it meant, and you've been obsessed with it, ever since."

"I don't know," she said. "It seems too simplistic."

"What do you think?" I asked.

"Okay," she said a little hesitantly, "there was this baseball game."

"Baseball game?" I wondered.

She explained, "About three years ago, my family went to a baseball game. I asked my father how many people there were in the audience, and he told me there were about fifty thousand. It kind of woke me up. I thought about what it meant to be just one person in that huge mass of people. And then I went home and compared that number to all of Japan, and I thought about the fact that Japan is just one small country on this planet. Then I thought about how this planet is just one little planet in this galaxy and how this galaxy is just one little galaxy among billions of galaxies. What am I? I'm a speck. I'm less than that. I'm a speck on a speck on a speck, ad infinitum."

"Okay," I said.

"I panicked," she continued. "I thought, 'Why can't I be special?' I always thought I was special."

"I see," I said.

"You do?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered, casually explaining. "Like I said. You were just confused."

It seemed pretty obvious to me, and it would be a wonder if it wasn't obvious to her. She had had screwy thoughts and got all twisted up in them.

"The truth is," I softly added, "your world is you. That already makes you special."

"What does that mean?" she asked, very skeptical.

"When you were young," I replied, "you loved yourself. You didn't think you were special because people told you. People told you that you were special because you were. And you still are special to me."

She grinned and scolded me, "You're just trying to make me kiss you."

"Is it working?" I asked.

"Keep dreaming," she said.

"Sheesh," I complained.

She added, "You're really corny sometimes, but I like that. You don't need to flatter me."

I then told her, "I've resisted the urge to flirt with Miss Asahina and Miss Nagato."

"Yeah," she said. "I have to give you that. Let me reward you for that."

We then softly kissed in the most beautiful way I think is possible. She tasted like tea, though. So, it was bittersweet.

"Admit it," I said. "You like that."

"Yeah," she admitted.

I added, "I think we might have found something fun to do, after all."

"Jeez. I really don't want to do this. Not here."

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's Yuki's place. No telling what kind of alien technology she's using to spy on us."

"Right..."

Haruhi does have her painfully shy side. It's a bit of a turn on for me, but it can be rather frustrating.

- x -

I later found myself drifting through the forest of my mind, aware that I was asleep, but not quite sure where I was sleeping.

That I felt drawn to Haruhi then, I knew for a certainty. My infatuation with her might have been a mistake, but I don't think being in love with her was. Here was someone I could see wanted my love, she seemed to love me, and even if she didn't love me, I think she deserved my love anyway. I didn't have any proof, but I could feel it was real. I embraced that feeling, and then I started to understand.

Yeah. I didn't really have any puzzle figured out here. The real puzzle had been me. Specifically, what could Haruhi say to make me love her? That had been the missing piece. The funny thing is, though, it could have been anything. It didn't have to be some story of her youth or some special insights into her stupid obsessions. She could have just babbled about sex, and that would have been plenty. The point had been that I cared enough to listen.

And it wasn't enough for me to just nod my head and agree. I had to really listen. When she jumped to conclusions, I helped her see how ridiculous those were in some silly way. When she was contradicting herself, I pointed it out to her. When she just felt like complaining, I felt her pain along with her. These were all things that no one else she knew was willing to do for her, not even that guy she had been with for six months who seemed like he could solve any kind of puzzle he wanted. The only puzzle he couldn't solve was how to like Haruhi as a friend and not just as a convenient target for his patronizing attitudes.

I like how Haruhi has a lot of interesting things to say. I'm just some guy who likes to listen. Thanks to this, it was easy for me to notice how she wanted me to love her and to respond by obliging her.

And now, because I had figured all that out, it finally dawned on me why Mikuru and Yuki were so interested in Haruhi. Yuki's boss, this Data Entity, noticed how Haruhi has the ability to make things happen that are nagging her in the back of her mind, whatever they may be. This explained why she was such a boring child. Anything she wanted would just suddenly appear. What else could a child want? If she wanted to meet time travelers or aliens, poof. They would appear, no matter how ridiculous the notion. She wanted me to fall in love with her, but it wouldn't be good enough to just make me love her. She needed me to walk into it, willingly. Mikuru and Yuki didn't tell me all this because they don't want Haruhi to know. Yuki had said that that would cause a catastrophe. I think I can agree with that. A trouble-maker with that kind of power at her conscious control would be a scary thing, for sure.

It isn't quite the power of a deity, but it's probably powerful enough to manipulate a whole world in a timely fashion, which is really the only thing that could explain the need for "autonomous evolution." I mean, if you or I want to manipulate our environment, we could just open a window. It's not that easy when you're trying to create an entire race of beings of your own, which seemed to be the puzzle Yuki's boss was facing. Yuki's boss would want the power to precisely measure masses and such involved in creating the right rivers, forests and mountains necessary for a surface race to evolve just right (for some mysterious purpose). If Haruhi could help toward that goal, a little thing like leaping between time planes would be nothing for her. I just wondered if that's what she really wanted in the back of her mind. Was she as bored subconsciously as she was consciously? Yeah, I think she was.

- x -

I found myself asleep with my head on my crossed arms on Yuki's table, though I awoke with a blanket over top of me. There was this strange blue light coming from a figure standing next to where Mikuru was also suddenly standing. It was weird because I don't remember feeling at all shocked or afraid. It just seemed to me that this figure was nothing but calm and affectionate, and that we would soon find ourselves back at home.

"Um... Kyon?" Mikuru said, her voice sounding harsh compared to the way I felt.

"What is it?" I asked.

She answered, "This is what we were waiting for, I think."

I got up and said, "Yeah... I wonder where Miss Nagato ran off to."

"Probably off reading," she said.

"Well," I said, softly sighing, "it's been fun."

"Yeah," she agreed.

"I guess this is goodbye, huh?"

"I don't want to go."

"We'll see each other again. I promise."

"Okay."

- x -

I then suddenly found myself sitting in my living room at home, and it appeared to be afternoon. It seemed as though I had just woke up from a nap or some horrible "deus ex machina" had just occurred (although, in this case, I think I understood why the "deus" would employ some "machina"). A few moments later, I heard the doorbell and found Kunikida at the door.

"What's up?" he asked. "Just you here?"

"Yeah," I answered. "Come on in."

"Thanks," he said, entering. "It's cold out there." He then eagerly added, "I heard Miss Asahina was over here, so..."

"You just missed her," I answered.

"Shoot," he said. "I was hoping to speak to her again."

"Yeah," I softly remarked. "You and half the town."

"So, I noticed," he added.

"She went back to the future," I explained. "I hope."

"That was really something," he admitted. "What is it with you and the weird ones?"

"I guess I'm just a weirdo magnet, huh?" I said, not too happy admitting it.

"I heard about Miss Suzumiya and Miss Nagato," he added.

"You heard about Miss Nagato?" I asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "I saw some guy following her around town yesterday. It seemed kind of weird, so I asked the guy what was up."

"What was that about?" I asked.

He replied, "He turned out to be Miss Suzumiya's boyfriend. I thought he was stalking Miss Nagato, but then we had a nice little chat."

"Then what?" I asked.

"I don't know. I didn't think to ask him where he was going."

"I think I know what ended up happening with him."

"Anyway. Nice to see you're here."

"It's nice to be back."

That gave him a bit of a start, and he asked, "Back? You went somewhere?"

I then waffled and lied my way out of that.

- x -

We then went to watch some TV, since there was really nothing else to do on a Sunday afternoon. I didn't want to think about Haruhi, since I figured she had a lot on her mind. I kind of figured the subject would come up, but I had no idea which direction it would come from. I heard the doorbell, and I found Ryoko at the door, looking cheerful as always.

"Hello," she said.

"Hello," I answered.

"Is it okay if I come in?" she asked.

"Yes, of course," I replied. "Please do."

"Thanks," she said, entering.

Since she had arrived, I assumed the topic of Haruhi wouldn't take very long to come up, though Ryoko has a talent for avoiding topics.

"So, what's up?" I asked.

She answered, "Just came by to say hi and make sure you were still here." While she was speaking, Kunikida appeared, so she greeted him, "Oh, hello."

He said, "Hello, Miss Asakura."

"Well..." Ryoko said, creating this awkward tension between us that I felt might go on for hours.

Kunikida then said, "Oh, don't tell me. You're going out with Kyon, now?"

"Don't be silly," she playfully scolded him.

"I was just kidding," he said.

Ryoko sighed and finally stated, "Kyon has decided to start flirting with Miss Suzumiya. The silly boy. And even after I warned him not to."

"What can I say?" I responded. "I'm a glutton for punishment."

"Oh, well," Ryoko added. "Better luck next time."

"Next time?" I asked.

She then added, "I hear Miss Suzumiya is going to transfer to North High."

"She is?" Kunikida asked.

"I wonder who could have persuaded her to do that?" Ryoko casually said, looking at me.

"That's a pretty bold move," Kunikida said.

"No kidding," Ryoko agreed.

It occurred to me then that nothing I did with Haruhi would ever be hidden from Yuki or Ryoko. Their mission was to observe, after all. Even if that meant deploying an army of microscopic voyeur insects, they would discover how Haruhi was able to create temporal disturbances or whatever. I felt a bit like I was suddenly their older brother, but then I'm used to being an older brother. Little sisters are totally overrated.

Ryoko added, "Makes me feel silly. Here I am, all alone. And Christmas is just a few days away."

"We could hang out here at Kyon's, right?" Kunikida offered. "I'm sure he won't mind."

- x -

With that shoe dropped, I suspected it was only a matter of time before the other one dropped. Sure enough, that evening in my bedroom, I got a call from Koizumi. This is what a nice guy I am: I answered his call.

"Hey," I said. "What's up?"

"Nothing much," he casually answered. "Just trying to get my bearings on this whole situation."

"You have a situation?" I prodded him.

He laughed and remarked, "That's a good one. No, I just spoke with Miss Nagato. Delightful girl. She told me an interesting story about you and Miss Suzumiya."

I said, "Yeah, we had a lot of fun. Too bad you missed out."

"Ah..." he said. Then added, "I guess I had that coming, huh?"

"Sorry," I said, not really sorry at all. "Things just kind of turned out this way."

"Yeah," he said. "I'm going to need to keep my distance. I mean, if we were to bump into each other, it would probably get ugly."

"Probably," I agreed.

"On the bright side," he then added, "I did meet a charming girl, yesterday."

"You like her?" I asked.

He answered, "I suppose if I went deaf, I might start to like her."

"Oh..." I said. "That's too bad."

"Yeah," he said. "I have to hang up, now. I don't want to start something I'll regret."

Funny. Can you believe this guy? I sighed and let it go. If I were him, I'd probably say something similar, although I can't imagine being stupid enough to let a girl like Haruhi get away from me.

- x -

Three days later, it was Christmas Eve. I hadn't heard from Haruhi in all that time, so I invited her over. She said she would think about it, but I just assumed that was her way of emphatically saying yes. I then soon heard the doorbell and thought it odd, but it was just Mikuru.

"Hello!" Mikuru greeted me in her lovely, wispy voice. She was dressed up for Christmas, and that made me wonder if she was planning on staying.

"Oh, hello," I said. "Nice to see you again."

She then rushed in and embraced me, then quickly backed away again, saying, "Oh no! I'm sorry."

"That's okay," I said, slowly recovering. "I'm starting to get the idea that you're used to these displays of affection."

"I really shouldn't, though," she said. "I don't want to get you in trouble."

"I haven't seen Haruhi just yet," I admitted. "I'm not sure what's going on with her."

"She'll show up, soon," Mikuru assured me.

"You want to come in?" I offered.

"I really shouldn't," she said. "I just came by to say hi, and thanks."

"You're welcome," I said.

"Stay warm, and don't do anything I wouldn't do, okay?"

"Okay."

"See you later!"

"Goodbye."

Mikuru left, and it seemed I had just closed the door when the doorbell rang again. I opened the door to find Haruhi standing there. She immediately entered, while I said, "Hello."

"Yeah, yeah," she said. "Let me in, already. It's freezing."

"So, what's up?" I asked.

She replied, "Did I leave that homework assignment here? It's driving me crazy."

"Didn't Koizumi take that?" I asked.

"I thought we left it here," she said.

"I didn't see it," I said.

"Figures..." she complained, scowling. "I'm not looking forward to asking him about it. Oh..."

"What?" I asked.

"I'm not crazy, am I?" she asked. "Was Mikuru just here?"

I replied, "Yeah, you just missed her."

"What's up with that?" she asked.

I answered, "I think she's not taking any chances."

"Sheesh," Haruhi added. "You cause one little incident, and..."

"Hey, Haruhi...?"

"What?"

I caught her in a surprise kiss, and she immediately responded, but then she pushed me away almost as suddenly.

"Okay, stop that," she said, scowling in a nice way.

I told her, "Miss Nagato isn't here to spy on us."

"I don't know about that," she softly stated.

The doorbell rang again, and I greeted Yuki and Ryoko. These visitations were all rather sudden, and I'm forced to think they must be related, somehow. It's a bit of a puzzle, but I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually.

"Hello," I said.

"Are we interrupting?" Ryoko asked, smiling in a way that made it clear she had witnessed that kiss.

"What do you guys want?" Haruhi asked her.

"Just making a polite visit," Ryoko replied. "Isn't it best to have get togethers on holidays?"

Haruhi didn't look too sure about how to respond to that, but I just casually said, "Sure. The more the merrier."

- Fin

- x -

- Extra

- The perks of being president

Kyon is giving his phone number to Ryoko.

Kyon: You like being class president?

Ryoko: It's okay.

Kyon: It just seems like a bit of a hassle.

Ryoko: I see what you mean. It is a good excuse to chat with the boys, though. That isn't easy when you're as popular as I am.

Kyon: Hmm...

Ryoko: I usually find out who likes who before anyone else in class. Sure, it's rude to poke your nose into other people's affairs, but I find that people just like talking to me. It helps them sort through their problems. The girls, especially, like to confide in me. It's kind of weird how you can really get to know people just through chatting or notes.

Kyon: You settle a lot of arguments, I suppose.

Ryoko: Yeah. It's mostly just girl stuff. I doubt you'd be interested.

Kyon: So, people put a lot of trust in you.

Ryoko: I guess so. You have to get something out of it, but I have to admit I just love the attention.

Kyon: Really?

- x -

- The mystery cat

Kyon is upstairs in the hallway, speaking to Sister.

Kyon: What's up with Shamisen?

Sister: Something wrong?

Kyon: No. Just wondering why you named him that.

Sister: I did?

Kyon: Aren't you the one who found him?

Sister: I thought you found him.

Kyon: ...

- x -

- Plans within plans

Haruhi, Mikuru, and Kyon walking through the park at night.

Haruhi: So, Taniguchi had actually set you up with Tsuruya?

Kyon: Yeah.

Haruhi: What's she like?

Kyon: She's actually pretty nice. A bit of a spaz, but in a good way.

Haruhi: As opposed to...?

Mikuru: I've met her, actually.

Kyon: Oh?

Mikuru: She was in the class I had joined.

Kyon: So, you were in second year, as well.

Mikuru: That's right. And Miss Tsuruya complained a lot about her reputation. She said all the boys hated her.

Kyon: Really?

Mikuru: Yeah. She said she wanted to date this really cute guy, but he snubbed her. She said she had a plan to get back at him.

Kyon: ...

Haruhi: And Kyon was a part of that plan, huh?

Mikuru: Huh? Um...

Kyon: It's okay. I was expecting it to be something like that.

Haruhi: You were already thinking of conning her into a relationship, anyway. Weren't ya?

Kyon: No.

Mikuru: Oh, jeez. I guess I shouldn't have brought it up.

- x -

- Deep thoughts from an imaginary author

Author: It's funny, but I'm just now noticing this.

Proofreader: What?

Author: I didn't cut anything from Harlequin.

Proofreader: Yeah, weird.

Author: Everything just spilled out perfectly.

Proofreader: So, how come you're just now noticing that?

Author: Probably because I just did the fifth cut on this story. Jeez, what was I thinking?

Proofreader: Oh, yeah. You probably want to rewrite that foreword, as well.

Author: Yeah, that seems a bit harsh.

Proofreader: And flesh out that whole "deus ex machina" part. That seems a little light on narrative.

Author: ...

- x -

- More deep thoughts from an imaginary author

Author: Where are we going with Mikuru, here?

Proofreader: What do you mean?

Author: She's just going to continue being clueless?

Proofreader: Probably. I don't see that changing in the next two volumes.

Author: Okay. Just assumed Yuki might be getting involved in that.

Proofreader: Nah. She's too busy being Harlequin.

Author: Yuki is Harlequin even in other time planes?

Proofreader: She becomes Harlequin in every time plane except Gamma.

Author: Okay. So, what's up next for Yuki?

Proofreader: (chuckling) She's the narrator.

Author: Say what?

Proofreader: You heard me.

Author: Oh, damn. That's going to be some heavy lifting.

Proofreader: Don't worry. I'll help out.

Author: You better, you schmuck.

- x -


	11. One

The Origins of Haruhi - Twisted Six

- x -

- Foreword

Let's switch gears, here. I think it's about time you readers had a taste of someone else's point of view. This next volume was originally intended as a personal message from Yuki Nagato to myself, but I think enough time has passed that she won't care if I publish it. Naturally, I asked, and of course she gave her permission. I think she really had a more general audience in mind when she wrote this, though it is addressed to me. I've been given a lot of this type of information from Yuki about several of the underlying time planes, and the event where celestials were first discovered was not one that I wrote about. I can't really blame myself for not writing about it, considering how little I was involved and how little I would have remembered.

Note that I divided this into five chapters at what I think are appropriate places. Yuki had no objection, but she did ask about their purpose. Those, of course, make the material easier to read and fully appreciate, though they are more of a personal embellishment. They aren't meant as any sort of editorial, but as more of my way to pay tribute to the fact that I feel myself otherwise unworthy to comment on this more than in a strictly clinical and technical capacity. Having said that, I feel it would be wrong to applaud her work more than it deserves, so I will not restrain myself from being as critical with her work as I would with (for example) Haruhi Suzumiya's.

Her brevity is (as I've mentioned before a few times) truly remarkable, but I find myself feeling deprived of some of her more artful denigrations of man's abuses. I know she has them, however I am loath to think of the circumstances that produce them. I also shudder to think how long and depressing this work would be if she gave full vent to those complaints, so it's probably just as well. Yuki does not suffer fools: not gladly nor otherwise. She wouldn't hesitate to correct me, so I won't hesitate to point out the flaws in her writing.

Many of you readers will doubtlessly wish that this story had been written by me when you begin to get into it. The narrative is cold and relentless, her colorful expressions mostly used to mock the notion of colorfulness and expressiveness. While I employ the use of that tone here and there myself, I have to admit it gets a bit wearisome when it generally prevails in every paragraph. She also gives sway to overly-critical analyses, delving into background with so much frequency that I think it's become a reflex to her. While I do prefer this style to the rambling, incoherent drivel that Haruhi comes up with, the style does wear on the mind after a time, and even I have to step back and take a walk around the park to recover from it.

That said, this was apparently written in a time when she had developed a relatively nice, artful style that bespeaks someone with a firm grasp of conversational politeness rather than her less digestible technical turn of phrase that she would unleash on me in these younger years. I would have spent weeks trying to read this, otherwise, and I never would have bothered getting involved in the publishing of her earlier works. They aren't just difficult to read from a standpoint of style, but they are difficult to want to read. I've always felt that a story should always be, above all else, an enjoyable experience for the reader. Her earlier works tend to be somewhat pretentious and humorless, rather than pointed and provocative. For this reason, this story will have to suffice for those readers who feel deprived of the lash of her reason and the thorns of her insights.

- x -

- Chapter 1

I have a confession to make: I'm afraid of books.

I don't mean that I have a mere aversion to books or that books seem threatening in some vague way. I mean that I intensely fear books. I fear them the way a human being might fear heights or plunging into the sea or being chased by a pack of rabid dogs. It takes a conscious effort for me to even touch them. I take a moment before I open them to convince myself that I won't be swallowed up in the pages. The symbols seem to me to become fingers and hands that reach up and grasp at me. The words yearn for me, to embrace me into them. I chide myself, but the feeling persists. I don't fear a computer screen, a sign on a wall, a bulletin board, sports apparel nor anything else that contains words. Just books.

I know what you're thinking. You're wondering how I spend so much time reading if this fear is so intense for me. In fact, this feeling does usually persist for only about an hour or so. From that point, I can mostly read without fear. The problem is, if I stop reading for too long, the fear will return. Books become unreadable. Since we live in a world populated with books, the world itself becomes horrific. I have also found that I enjoy reading, and it would be tragic for that to have to come to an end.

I've now matured to the point that I can get by with a book or two a day, but that has come at the price of having degenerated my ability to socialize, having flooded my perception with verbalized fantasies, and having a three-pack-a-day smoking habit. I've tried every remedy available, and the only brief cure to this fear I have is to amuse myself with romantic affection. This, in turn, becomes a kind of curse. I deteriorate in the debilitating grip of emotions that threaten to force desperate actions, or I spend most of my time reading.

You know how this feels, of course. Being afraid, that is. I'm not comparing myself to you, but it would be a mistake for you to believe that there are humanoid beings that can exist without fear. Even Ryoko Asakura, who has an intense fear of being pursued and devoured by some invisible, nameless horror, cannot live without fear. I suspect that Itsuki Koizumi allows his detached ego to overshadow his fear, but even he seems to fear neglecting his duties. It goes without saying that Mikuru Asahina and Haruhi Suzumiya have fears: Asahina fears being made to look foolish, and Suzumiya lives in constant fear of her perceived insignificance. I know you have been made aware of these things, but I've also noticed that you have an unfortunate tendency to forget, no matter what I do to try to cure you of that lamentable ailment. I will repeat myself on other matters as necessary, as I observe wherever you are also deficient.

Given my book situation, you can understand my dismay when Suzumiya declared that we would take a weekend retreat to a house in the mountains, and that the bringing of books was prohibited. I have my own sources for books in emergencies, but I am not permitted to defy her express will. Asakura, who did not hesitate to join us, would also not hesitate to report me to my superiors if I had been insubordinate. Though she is my backup, Asakura acts as though she is superior to me, and she delights in anything that seems to prove it.

This activity was deemed an official event of Suzumiya's so-called "SOS Brigade," though we took along four extra people: Asakura, Kunikida, Taniguchi, and Tsuruya. The house was produced by Emiri Kimidori and myself, and its final preparations was the responsibility of the computer club president. I should disclose that Kimidori is an associate of mine and that the computer club president was only meant to be used as a diversion. He was never actually meant to be killed.

I apologize if you consider that a spoiler. Yes, he gets killed. Not just once, but again and again and again. Please keep this in mind as you read the rest of this small anecdote.

- x -

I was the last one on the bus, as we began to make our way to our destination. You, as usual, had your eyes fixed on Asahina, so I braced myself for the usual round of complaints about expenses or food from Suzumiya. What was surprising to me was that Koizumi seemed to find it annoying, as well. He doesn't allow much to escape his attention, but it is unusual for him to become annoyed. He eventually revealed in his veiled complaints that the lack of books was causing him distress, so that seemed to settle that mystery.

I should explain for a moment here that I have the ability to utilize my observations toward extrapolations, but this is inhibited by the accuracy of my data. I began noticing, even before we met, that you have a tendency to make my extrapolations suddenly diverge from my expectations for no apparent reason, and I have yet to figure out why that is. I should also admit that my first impressions of you were derived from a temporal phenomenon which brought me into contact with you, Suzumiya, and Asahina. I became confused and a little disoriented by the way that situation had turned out, so I could not predict with certainty how this situation would resolve itself.

Koizumi dominated the discussion. His thoughtfulness provided a good deal of the food for thought, and I think the other males in this group, who were outnumbered three-to-five, felt themselves unable to compete with him for the majority of attention. I admit that he captures my attention, although Asakura seems fawning and enraptured by his face. If he wasn't aware of her alien nature, he would have doubtlessly returned her attentions.

Asakura may be my backup, but she is no friend of mine. It would be more appropriate to think of her as a sister who is older than myself by about ten years. Imagine that, in this hypothetical family, the head is an imposing and powerful woman who has decided to make me the successor against the wishes of the others, all of whom are older and wiser. I have no special abilities that they do not also have, and this makes me nervous. That's probably a good thing, though. I wouldn't want to become comfortable in this position and prove myself prone to stagnation or lapses in concentration.

As frequently as Asahina has lapses in her concentration, it's amazing to me that more people don't know about her being a time traveler. She has been trained well, and I've noticed that Suzumiya has diverted a lot of attention away from her. Suzumiya seems to relish the thought of having aliens and time travelers as friends, but she also seems to resent the idea of sharing this information with anyone outside her circle. Suzumiya is almost as possessive about Asahina as she is about you.

Taniguchi was being lecherous, as usual. I find it odd that a creature can be so predisposed to romantic interactions. I understand the attraction, but he takes it to an extreme that is a curious phenomenon in itself. I made a mental note to study the reason for that, as well. The thought of discovering his motivations had a sickening effect on me, and I realized then that I was beginning to endure a kind of withdrawal from my dependence on escaping into the verbal world of books. I may not have relayed my feelings to anyone, and I may not have understood those feelings, but they were there.

When I turned my attention to Kunikida, I began to realize why you consider him a friend. He has a very relaxed and whimsical expressiveness. He isn't as secure and confident as Asahina, but he can hold his own in a conversation. Even when there are eight other people nearby, he listens carefully to what everyone is saying, and he has a ready wit.

You seemed content to let the others lead conversations, and I couldn't help noticing how you would seem annoyed when someone started a new topic, though you also seemed amused at yourself, as if you were enjoying your own annoyance. I found myself staring at you longer than the others, wondering why I was staring and unable to fathom it. It puzzles me to this day, and I have to admit that it conjures an amusing inner torment that goes something like this:

My immediate impression of you is that you seem very unamazed and gentle in your approach to things, and I become horrified at the thought of you encountering the kind of conflicts that I face every now and then. I scold myself without realizing it, and then I become somewhat aware that I am behaving protectively toward you as a matter of instinct. I recoil at my instincts, unaware that they are my instincts, and that makes me retreat into myself, not fully aware that I have a self to retreat into. It amuses me, but in those days, it was like a thought I encountered quite often but was unable to articulate. It was really damned irritating, but I had no way to express that, being unaware of what it meant for me to be irritated.

Tsuruya also has an uncanny ability to be irritating, although I feel that she has a naivete (not innocence) that makes her naturally prone to being that way. She has a great deal to say, but they are words I've heard many times before, and I find myself marveling that she can say so few things with so many words in so many creative ways.

What impresses me most about this journey is not the personalities of the people I encountered, but the personality of the countryside itself. I'm familiar with the terrain, and I've seen depictions of similar sights. Nothing can really prepare you for the experience, however, in such a slowly moving vehicle.

I noticed quite a number of people on their way back from work, looking frustrated or annoyed, as they drove by or walked along the roads. I saw several proud structures, most of them dedicated to man's ignorance or inability to agree on even simple things. I saw several people riding as passengers or waiting at bus stops, enjoying their reading material. I felt an unnameable envy at those who were permitted to read their books. I saw a few children walking along the roads, merely enjoying their walks. I also saw a few mothers scolding their children for unknown reasons. Koizumi pointed out some features in the landscape that I hadn't noticed before. It all provoked a feeling in me that I wasn't able to appreciate then, and I wish I could describe it better. At the time, it just seemed dull and pointless.

Observing Suzumiya, which as you know is my mission, was the most dull and pointless thing of all. She is utterly predictable, even by human standards, and her interactions with you make her even more so. The only reason I can't predict her exact words and actions up to three weeks from now down to the microsecond is because she has come to depend so much on you. In those days, I found her dullness comforting and your influence alarming, but I've come to understand that dullness and predictability is the most terrifying thing of all.

- x -

"Yuki! Get your butt out here so I can take a picture!"

Suzumiya was busy gathering the others, but not so busy she couldn't make childish demands. I wasn't permitted a quick exit from the bus, so I could only stand and wait for the others to clear the way, but I wasn't in a hurry, either. One of the few amusements I'm permitted is seeing her annoyed, and I somehow understood that feeling even after only being in her company for a little over a month.

Once off the bus, I noticed how she had employed you for taking the picture, so I ignored her demands. She isn't my mother, so she can't dictate my every trivial movement. My duty may command my obedience, but my duties are not to be mocked with frivolity. I was much more interested in the condition of the dwelling we were heading toward, so I began to collect my belongings.

"Didn't you hear Miss Suzumiya?" Koizumi asked very nicely. I answered him with stony silence.

The others seemed to be enjoying themselves that rainy afternoon, finding some position in the shot they were preparing. Asakura was strangely content to stand at one side and fold her arms in impatience at me. Always the drama queen, that girl. This situation would give me the bonus of annoying her, as well. I'm not good at integrating. My special abilities are manipulation, which involves tearing things apart and putting them back together again in some novel fashion.

"Hey!" you called out. "Miss Nagato? Come on. You're missing out on the fun."

I then considered for a moment and joined the picture. I wouldn't want to miss whatever this "fun" was supposed to be.

- x -

After the picture and the hike up the mountain, we came to a curious wooden structure. I oversaw the construction of this building, actually. I did not design it; that task was given to Kimidori. I did, however, approve all sixteen design specifications. It is a large, complicated building, so please bear with me on this brief description.

The building approaches two thousand square meters, and is dominated by an overall emphasis on planks, stone, and a roof covered by earth. I believe it was patterned after a Frank Lloyd Wright design, though I know his designs would not give such a natural appearance. At its center, it has two floors. The front is prefixed by a deck that approaches the entrance. From the entrance, you can turn to the kitchen one way, the dining room another way, or proceed up a spiral staircase to the upper floor. Just off the dining room is a space for entertainment, though it had originally been meant as a study. Those furnishings were scrapped at the last minute in favor of something Suzumiya seemed to prefer. On one side, the building continues to an interior hallway that connects to four bedrooms, two bathrooms, two washrooms, and a laundry room. On the other side, there is a workshop, garage, and a storage area. The garage is connected to a driveway that connects to the road, such as it is. The staircase connects to a loft, and beyond the dining room to the back of the house is a patio and a small pond. All around the outside of the building is natural entourage: shrubs, planters, and trees. It's a fairly impressive piece of work, and if we had used ordinary construction methods, it would have cost around two hundred million yen. As it was, we merely performed a few favors for some highly-placed individuals in the area, and the rest was a matter of course.

Suffice it to say that this building was large and isolated. Electricity had only recently been run through the area, and the road only recently paved. There were no phones nor internet service, and thanks to my signal routers hidden in the upper roof there would also be no wireless interference. The building was actually far safer this way, because this would leave all the emergency procedures to Suzumiya's guardians (who would ordinarily be hindered by one distraction or another). Suzumiya's guardians were given absolute autonomy, and were specifically instructed to only permit authorized personnel. The place was as safe as I needed it to be, at any rate.

In the case of a data emergency, Asakura was the first line of defense, providing the prepared stories for every contingency. As was usually the case, I provided a failsafe in case we needed to improvise in that respect. Suzumiya's guardians (being in permanent stealth mode) would not be able to provide us with data support beyond a usual sweep and clear. I had hoped to do nothing but read on this mission, but since the house was scoured clean of books as per Suzumiya's orders, I could only consider myself a liability, and protested my involvement. Asakura lobbied hard for my involvement, going as far as to reveal her sympathies toward the radical faction to do it. I warned my superiors that Asakura's toying with me would jeopardize our safety, but I was overruled. Thus it was that I was here at all, providing pivotal security in spite of being the largest security risk.

I logged in my scout units and made note of my traps, preparing to deploy the air units when it was suggested by Tsuruya that we immediately draw straws for rooms and food preparation. I had anticipated that this suggestion might come up, but I almost neglected to obfuscate my commands to the air units. The distraction of constant rain was making me neglect standard procedure, and I silently scolded myself after a quick correction.

Obfuscation was necessary because it was recently brought to light that Data Interception units had been spotted in this stellar system, and they're notorious for attaching themselves to living beings; especially the large, unwieldy beings like humanoids. Allowing them to intercept command data would be a severe breach of a primary data manipulation guideline. I was therefore forced to verbalize the commands with one of the usual code sequences that sound much like gibberish to anyone spying on them, but give actual control to anyone who understands the hidden meaning of those codes. The amusing thing about all this is that Asahina superstitiously thinks that I'm "casting a spell" on something. Stupid humans.

As we approached the front deck, Asakura produced a book from her person: one of my favorite sci-fi novels that she knows I've read at least a hundred times already in the club room. She began reading it right in front of me and Suzumiya, deliberately provoking this reaction:

"Hey, Asakura!" Suzumiya said with a scowl across her face. "Put away that damn thing! We're trying to have a vacation here."

"Oh," Asakura answered, quite obviously not surprised, "I completely forgot. I'm so sorry. I'll put this away, immediately."

"Anyone else tries that," Suzumiya added, "I'm going to personally kick their ass to the moon. I'm not even kidding."

I must have had a displeased look on my face, because Asakura turned to me and said, "You're right, Miss Suzumiya. I can't believe I forgot. I'm so ashamed of myself." She then handed the book to me, smirking at my reaction: my eyes widened and my nostrils flared. I couldn't help it. This is a damnable phobia, after all. I put the book in a pocket, though. I can hardly be faulted for securing evidence of Asakura's disobedience, after all. The book would weigh on my mind, giving Asakura additional opportunities to torment me, but simply touching it could also be called a form of meditation. I wasn't violating the rules by simply having it, so I didn't fear retribution.

"Let's all concentrate on having fun!" Suzumiya added.

- x -

Ordinarily, whenever Suzumiya insists on having fun, the first thing that happens is that I get word of a perimeter violation or one of the data units will throw a fit or some dimensional vortex will open up just over our heads. It becomes a nightmare of logistics, prime projections, and troubleshooting. I know it's just superstition, but I couldn't help feeling anxious. I was having one of those nervous anticipations, but all that was really happening was that you kept looking at me, which only made me more nervous.

It didn't help that Suzumiya was playing a first-person shooter game of some kind. The others (except for Asahina) split into two teams of four and began some kind of simulated contest. It was crude and simplistic, but it did have similarities to the kind of scenarios I sometimes faced. Since the objective was "last man standing," they were eventually forced to make limits on how much players could camp or stay dead, which is strikingly similar to the nature of restrictions on practice combat mode for humanoid interfaces. The teams were split into Suzumiya, you, Kunikida, and Asakura versus the computer club president, Koizumi, Taniguchi, and Tsuruya. Needless to say, Suzumiya's team was getting slaughtered.

Asahina seemed to be having no trouble following the action, and it seemed to me like she wanted to play, but she insisted on staying out of it. She explained that watching it was fine, but being in the action would just make her freeze up.

"Oh, come on!" Suzumiya exclaimed, after getting thoroughly beaten for the tenth time in a row. She had wagered food preference on this game, and that was predictably making her upset.

"Miss Nagato," you said, getting my attention, "you want to play? Somehow I doubt sitting around is all that fun."

"Yeah," Suzumiya added. "Help me out here, Yuki. I don't think Kyon knows what he's doing."

"I'm a little out of my element, too," Asakura admitted. "I really prefer melee style combat."

"Oh?" Suzumiya said. "Well, then you can be the bait."

"Bait?" Asakura wondered, but then Suzumiya explained it to her. Asakura became the bait, and though everyone there knew it, she was surprisingly good at that role. Their team nearly almost won with that configuration, but it simply wasn't possible for Suzumiya to outmaneuver the team of Taniguchi and Tsuruya as snipers, and Koizumi as defensive support.

I stayed out of it, because with all my information I had collected from observing along with Asahina, I doubt I'd have had trouble even with a four-on-one match. It wouldn't have been fun for me, so I politely declined. I prefer to stay out of contests in general, in particular any kind of contest that would be a foregone conclusion, such as this one.

After this, we had supper, since it was starting to get late, though it was still light outside. Koizumi surrendered his share of animal flesh products to Suzumiya. I'm pretty sure he meant for her to split it between herself and Asakura. Suzumiya made several suggestive remarks that didn't fail to cause Tsuruya a few more bouts of laughter, though they went over Asahina's head. Koizumi made a pointed remark about politeness during a meal, and that seemed to make the others glare at him wearily, though only for a few moments. You tried to hide it, but I noticed how you smiled at this reaction.

We then had a Poker contest, and that interested me. I noticed that the cards had become old and spotty. I kept my cards properly concealed, but everyone else neglected to protect their hands. I could have easily known from the spots and bumps around the edges what everyone was holding, but I decided to overlook them. It was much more fun this way. I did poorly at first, but then I almost started to break even toward the end. That was fun. Some complained that I had the perfect "Poker face," and that playing against me is no fun, but I think that's just the complaint of a sore loser.

All the while, the thought of books continued building inside of me. It was good enough, at first, to touch the spine of the book in my pocket, but then I couldn't bear to do even that. Without a proper flood of data, my brain starts to play tricks on my imagination. At the time, I registered it as erroneous data, but then emotions and instinct were all erroneous data to me. I knew that it might erupt into some mysterious problem, but then that was my job. I track anomalous data in numerous systems and make predictions regarding stability and integrity. This leads to a series of results which give you the the most likely outcome of any possible event. If this continued for another twelve hours, I would probably suffer some kind of psychotic disorder or nervous breakdown. Having made that determination, I told Asakura (in minute facial gestures) that if this situation didn't change, that I would be forced to leave her in charge. Asakura merely ignored my messages, appearing to be disinterested in my instructions.

- x -

Contrary to Tsuruya's earlier suggestion, Suzumiya divided up the rooms between everyone. Since there were four bedrooms, she told the males to divide their two rooms between them and then instructed Asahina and Tsuruya to take one room, while she took another room with Asakura and myself. After bathing and drying off, we all returned to the study to talk, but then Suzumiya snuck away, followed shortly by Tsuruya. Asakura gave me a hand gesture to go to the bedroom, and then we also silently left the room. The males seemed caught in Asahina's spell.

When we came to the bedroom, we found Tsuruya and Suzumiya mulling over a small collection of books. The sight of so many books all at once startled me a little, but then I collected myself and started to realize what had happened. The prohibition against books had meant that these books were not to be shared with the others, and that these books were special.

"Is she okay?" Suzumiya asked Asakura.

"Yeah," Asakura explained. "This is just an unfamiliar scenario for her."

"Tell me something I don't know," Suzumiya said, rolling her eyes.

I assumed they were referring to me, and that seemed to confirm the nature of the material they were handling. These were the kind of books that they really didn't want the males to notice.

Suzumiya added, "Lock the door."

Asakura did so, and then picked out a book for me. She then said, "You want to read so badly, go ahead and read."

"Are you sure she can handle that?" Tsuruya asked.

As Asakura affirmed that, I braced myself to read whatever this book had in store for me. I had an idea from the title what the nature of the material was, but the fatuous artwork did not prepare me for the mind-numbing ignorance that flowed from that book.

I don't precisely recall the words of that text, but it seemed to me that I was reaching straight into the book itself, and its skeletal hands had firmly clasped onto mine. It then struck me that I was looking at a kind of abyss, and this abyss was the deepest uncertainty hidden in the corner of my mind. I didn't realize it then, but I came face to face with the doubt that my own life would amount to anything more than a pointless grasping for data and an endless stream of analyses. The only thing that showed on my face was a suffusion of blood flow to my cheeks, indicating my confusion in attempting to grasp all this at once.

The others laughed, and Tsuruya remarked, "Oh, we have got to make her read this one."

Tsuruya gestured with one of the smaller books, and Suzumiya laughed when she saw it, saying, "No way. That's too damn cruel."

I've since come to understand a bit about Asahina's confidence. I think it must flow from some dark well of understanding things like this, but I think she can't register its reality. For her to face this dark corner of herself would probably send her into a terrible shock, and this was something the others knew instinctively. They could smell it on her. Her fear. As great as my fear is, this is probably nothing compared to hers. I envied her for a moment, but then I went back to reading the book.

Terrible though it was, I found myself compelled in the most powerful way that I have ever felt to read this book. It seemed like something as natural as breathing. I then wondered how long the others had been reading material like this.

"I have an idea," Asakura then said. "Why don't we hear this?"

"Yeah," Suzumiya added, "but not too loud."

I paused for a moment to consider whether they were serious, and then I began reading out loud. The part I was at was a scene of romance, and the others were soon laughing and blushing, all the more so because of my inability to emote or characterize what I was reading the way you would expect from a normal recitation. The narrative continued into a scene of some violence. The heroine encountered the usual villain of such stories with all the normal scenes of expected interplay. From those scenes began another scene of renewed violence, but that caused Suzumiya to object.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," she said to me, then turning to Asakura. "I think we got one of your books mixed up in our collection here."

"Me?" Asakura protested. "That isn't mine."

"Yeah..." Tsuruya admitted. "Sorry, guys. I'm afraid that one is mine." She looked deeply ashamed of herself, and not just because she had forgotten the contents of this book.

The others stared at her for a long moment, and then Asakura told her, "You are one sick bitch."

- x -

I read the other books that had been deemed appropriate for this occasion (in that they didn't belong in Tsuruya's sadomasochistic collection), and I found myself curiously in the grip of something contradictory. It was a mystery then, but I had stumbled into feeling simultaneously fascinated and deeply disgusted with myself. In any case, this data explained the mysterious tendency Suzumiya has to hide a number of her possessions. I hadn't thought much of it at the time, but I started to understand that this was something that she feared, as well. There's always a dangerous risk of living your life without having satisfied some romantic urge, and there's a feeling that one has a duty to give others the opportunity to fulfill this urge for themselves. I understand that to be true for myself, in any case. This is probably due to the fact that I am easily influenced by feelings of reciprocity.

It was a very odd sensation that came over me that night. I felt numb, like my face had been injected with a strong local anesthetic. I wasn't afraid of books at all. In fact, I don't think I was afraid of anything. I only stood next to the bed where Asakura had gone to sleep, and stared at her blankly. She awoke with a start and softly chided me for acting creepy. I made a mental note to sit on the floor in these situations so that I wouldn't startle people out of their sleep, and I began my rest cycle once Asakura exited the bed.

I don't know much about Suzumiya. I'm not really interested. All I know is that I never seem to feel secure because of her.

Actually, that isn't true. It isn't that she makes me feel insecure. I think I feel insecure because I feel like I'm alone. I hadn't realized that I was alone because I hadn't understood what it meant to be myself. Once I became acquainted with that notion, I started to realize that there was some connection between myself and this urge to share valuable experiences. I also started to realize that there was something to romance, especially the urge toward procreation. I know I can never satisfy this urge fully, but I can certainly have a lot of fun doing many of the things I had read about.

I awoke then, feeling that familiar touch of my fear of books again. It was annoying, and I was surprised to notice that I felt annoyed. I sat next to Asakura, determined to share some of that feeling. She only looked up from her own reading and smiled at me. She can read just fine in the dark. I can, as well, but I don't get that feeling that I'm reading a book if I do that. I need a light of some kind if I want to have that. I suddenly wished I had something like an actual sister rather than this subordinate who looks down on me and makes everything into some kind of drama. This snapped me out of my annoyance, but I began to understand what it means to be affectionate. It seemed important, to judge by the way Asakura shows affection in nearly everything she does.

- x -

About an hour before dawn, Koizumi softly knocked at the door. I answered and discovered that he had some concerns that he wished to share with me privately. I agreed on the condition that Asakura could be present, so the three of us rendezvoused at the kitchen to discuss the situation.

On the way, I double-checked reports from scouting units. They were giving the all-clear signal, so I had no cause for concern on my end. It's unusual to have a night this quiet, but that in itself is something that makes me apprehensive that I'm neglecting my duties in other areas. Asakura usually succumbs to this condition before I do, so I usually hear about my deficiencies from her. As much as I despise Asakura, I have to admit that having her on my side is essential for my day-to-day operations. Just as I wouldn't have a story without you to read it, I don't think I'd be able to function in my role as chief of interactional observations without her to help me. Contrary to her own reports, I do tell her everything, and I enjoy sharing every detail of our operations. Her insights are extremely valuable to me.

"I can sense something," Koizumi said upon on our arrival at the kitchen.

"What do you mean?" Asakura asked him.

"I mean..." Koizumi said, stopping to think for a moment, using a characteristic finger gesture to his forehead in the process. "It isn't easy to describe in words. I suppose it's a bit like an olfactory sensation, although I don't really understand it."

"You mean that you have extrasensory perception?" I asked.

"Right," he answered.

I immediately requested jurisdiction from Suzumiya's guardians for indoor usage of my special probes, and they acknowledged, denied my request, and then awaited suggestions from me as to how to proceed with their own search. I told them over the psych line that they needed to find any anomaly outside the level two specifications, starting at the center of the house and proceeding in a standard radial pattern until every hole and crevice had been explored. They acknowledged and took my suggestion under advisement while Asakura continued with the conversation here.

"So when did you notice this ability?" she asked him.

"I noticed something odd about an hour ago," he elaborated, then added, "I began thinking there was something in the study..."

I then relayed this to the guardians, who proceeded to the study.

"Okay," Asakura said, asking me with a facial gesture whether we should go there, as well.

"No," I answered. "We must assess the potential threat level from here."

"What?" Koizumi asked, not sure what I had meant.

Asakura explained to him, "We have a security arrangement, they're currently..." She stopped right there, and I noticed an unusual look on her face. She seemed about to panic.

Koizumi appeared to be a little on edge, and I told him, "Please be calm." I then turned to Asakura and added, "There is no need for panic. This is probably just a false alarm."

"We neglected the underground," Asakura softly stated.

"I have probes underground," I reminded her. "Anything outside their resonance frequency would have triggered a perimeter alert."

"Not if they knew the frequency and stealthed past it," Asakura pointed out.

"The likelihood of that is extremely low," I assured her. "The possibility of that happening is ten to the billions to one against. I don't accept it."

"But I..." Asakura started, but she was interrupted by the alarm on the psych line.

The psych line began giving us a high priority alarm at that point, and I just knew that wasn't going to improve my subordinate's mood. I tend to overreact a little, myself, so I can understand. This was not helping, but now there was no longer any choice in the matter.

Asakura then fled the kitchen toward the study, and I calmly told Koizumi to follow.

- x -

We arrived a few moments later at the study and found the body of the computer club president crumpled against the wall, clearly the victim of some extreme trauma. One of the computers was smashed as if it had been impacted suddenly, and some of the furniture had been scattered. There were computer parts and blood stains all over the floor. The walls had specks of blood stains. There was a strong odor of blood in the air, and I could still hear it dripping slightly from the victim.

"Stay back," I warned Koizumi. "There appears to have been a disturbance."

"Tell me you found what did this," Asakura asked the invisible guardians. They indicated over the psych line that there was no evidence of a perpetrator aside from the disturbed objects themselves.

"I don't think..." Koizumi started, but I stopped him with a polite touch and by shaking my head.

I then stated, "Our first priority here is to seal the study. No one enters without my express authorization. That includes Haruhi Suzumiya."

The guardians agreed with my advice and further instructed me and Asakura to leave the study along with Koizumi. We then left, although Asakura was very clearly shaken. I could see that her morale was becoming a problem, but then Koizumi told her, "I don't sense anything anymore. I mean, it isn't as strong as it was an hour ago. All I can sense is the lingering hints of the sensation."

We came to the dining room, and I sat across from where Asakura and Koizumi were still standing. I took a moment to calm myself, then did a routine check of systems for responding to a general emergency. As I suspected, Asakura had neglected to dispatch a signal to the local authorities, so I attended to that via one of my aerial units. They relayed to me that the local authorities were unavailable, but that the authorities for the county would arrive within a half hour. It was probably just as well. I reminded myself that local authorities tend to be ill-equipped for this sort of emergency.

"Why didn't you come to us an hour ago?" Asakura asked him.

"I don't know," he admitted. "It was very strange. I guess I wasn't willing to accept it, at first. As it began to recede, I felt strongly that something terrible had happened, so..."

"Are you sure your 'perception' isn't what really did this?" Asakura then asked.

"I'm sorry," he answered. "I can't be certain of anything."

"You realize how it looks," Asakura said. "You're going to be the prime suspect."

"No," I said, interrupting. "You forget your duty, Ryoko Asakura. I need you to keep his special abilities a secret." I turned to Koizumi and told him, "That goes for you, too. Do not tell anyone what you sensed this morning."

"Okay," he said.

"What will we tell the police?" Asakura asked me.

"You will tell them that you were wandering around and discovered the body," I replied. "Nothing else. Understood?"

She took a moment to register that, and then said, "I understand."

"Okay," I said. "I agree that our primary interest in discovering the solution to this problem is indeed Itsuki Koizumi's special ability. To that end, I invite anything productive that would help us find the perpetrator. The sooner we can do that, the better."

"Should we call the police?" Koizumi asked.

Asakura answered, "They are on the way already."

"Miss Asahina is a time traveler," Koizumi then suddenly pointed out.

"How does that help us?" I asked.

"Well," he explained, "she might have knowledge of this incident."

"She may, indeed," Asakura said.

"Such knowledge would help us, how?" I asked him. I then immediately explained, "Mikuru Asahina can only offer us temporal paradoxes. The less we use her, the fewer time planes we will have to encounter."

Asakura offered, "I'd rather live with a paradox than be killed by something unknown."

"I agree," Koizumi added.

"Okay," I said to him. "Let's consider that as a fallback position. If we reach an understanding about your powers and that fails, then we can use a paradox. Let's not forgot the levels of danger involved."

"But how will I explore my powers?" he asked.

"That's a good question," Asakura answered.

I then left that question as a task for him to undertake while Asakura awaited the police with her revised story. I woke the other females and notified them of the situation, while Koizumi did the same for the males. As per his advice, they waited in their bedrooms, except for Suzumiya, who had to be gently restrained by Asakura.


	12. Two

- Chapter 2

My first assumption is to always question the data. When Asakura had Suzumiya under control, I summoned one of the guardians to the workshop and questioned her about the body. Was the body deceased? Yes. Was the body ever touched by one of us? No. Was there really no sign of the perpetrator? There was not. Why was there no reaction to the audible data? Because of the interference of the precipitation. Was there a weapon? Were there unusual signs of entry on the door? How much force would create an injury like that? Was there any detail in the blood splatter aside from a standard spray pattern? What was the likely time of the attack? Did the attack fit the modus operandi of any known entities? Did anyone enter the study other than the victim around that time?

These elicited all the expected responses. At first, I refused to believe it, but then I couldn't see any other conclusion than that there must have been some form of supernatural phenomenon. That was the only thing that fit the pattern of the data I was observing. I have no special preferences one way or the other when it comes to believing in such things, however I have found that giving preference to the supernatural does not help your investigations. That should always be the last explanation you choose, if for no other reason than to give such incidents the great weight they would obviously be due.

There was also the unpleasant possibility that Suzumiya had caused this incident subconsciously. I dislike this possibility most of all, even more than the idea of some demonic presence. I'd hate to think that any of us could be killed for no apparent reason by Suzumiya. This would only open the doors to a panic among my superiors, who were already questioning the wisdom of having me as the forerunner of Suzumiya's data. I don't fear having my data link abolished, but I do fear the kind of retribution they might dispense if they were feeling slighted.

When I returned to my bedroom, I began thinking about what could motivate Suzumiya's subconscious to cause an incident like that. It was a strange thought, because she usually precedes her subconscious motives with some clear, verbal statement. There had been no such warning in this case. She doesn't hesitate to give death threats, but she never followed through on them. If I can assume that this deviation is some eruption of stress-relief, then there must have been some stressor that induced it. Would Suzumiya kill the computer club president just because of a game? If that were the case, then why would she leave the others on that team alive? Perhaps it was a case of him being the convenient target among them. If the assertion held that Suzumiya was the perpetrator, then this was the most likely scenario.

I compiled all these thoughts and reported them to my superiors. As expected, they weren't happy with these developments, and they spent a long time arguing over my conclusions.

- x -

Meanwhile, the police came and asked us to go with them to a local station. They assumed from a quick once-over of the scene that there had been some kind of altercation. Looking carefully at us, they found no trace of blood, and they logically assumed that there was a dangerous killer in the area. The scene would reveal no confirmation of that theory, so they naturally questioned us at length about our purposes, our relationships with each other, our recent history. That avenue turned up nothing obvious, of course, so they released us after an hour of questioning, advising us to return home and stay there until we received word from them again.

Most of us were in shock, especially Asahina and Asakura. I think it's safe to assume that Asahina has never had a brush with death, and had probably never seriously considered her own death a possibility. Asakura had just received word of my most likely scenario and doubtlessly feared that she might be next on the list if she didn't start being more genuinely friendly with Suzumiya. It had to be a little humiliating for her, as I know that she often treats Suzumiya with a kind of playful disdain that must not have gone unnoticed. The others worried about school, especially Koizumi. For them to even be near a crime scene, let alone in the same house as a brutal killing, would make them a target for a lot of curiosity, and there would doubtless be a few scandalous rumors. If Suzumiya had had a reputation to protect, it would have worsened dramatically. She was probably worried that she might be forced to transfer, but that was unlikely.

The next day, the media began reporting it as a mysterious killer incident. Somehow, the killer had used the rain to cover his tracks, leaving behind one dead body. That was the current theory. The idea of some high school student so brutally murdering someone was just unthinkable to any of the investigators, and the journalists were only too happy to agree with that assessment, though no one had any idea who the killer might be. It caused a bit of panic in the area, but it otherwise made no real impact outside North High.

Inside North High, it was a big stir, and I noticed how the club room was suddenly popular, though no one wanted to go in except for those of us in the "SOS Brigade." Suzumiya wasn't bothered by rumors as much as seeing the computer still there in the club room. It was painfully obvious that everyone was thinking about how she had acquired that computer, and even Koizumi (who hadn't witnessed that incident) awkwardly avoided looking at it.

"Well, I didn't do it," Suzumiya then said, suddenly defensive.

"Of course not," Koizumi added. "No one thinks you did."

"That's right," Asahina agreed.

For a long moment, Suzumiya looked down and seemed to be pondering that. She then turned to you and said, "Kyon? What do you think?"

You had your arms folded, and you seemed very much annoyed by this. You said, "I think it's stupid that you keep blaming yourself. Just get rid of that damn computer already."

"I will," Suzumiya responded.

Koizumi then tried to steer the conversation to a more pleasant topic, but that just made Suzumiya more irritated. She then made some complaint about how the mystery of it was still bothering her. She hates the thought of something mysterious happening that she can't understand.

"What about you, Yuki?" she asked me. I looked up from what I was reading, and shot her a questioning look. She then added, "You're an alien, right? Can't you use your powers or something to give us a better idea of what we're dealing with?"

I responded, "No."

"Why not?"

"Because my powers don't work that way."

I then returned to my reading, leaving Suzumiya to become even more irritated. Koizumi and Asahina seemed worried that we might be overheard, but I had long since placed an audio stealth device in the ceiling, and I had confirmed that it was operational before entering the room. I have it rigged to activate any time there are unauthorized individuals near its location, and it was a relief to notice it was functioning properly. I had worried for a moment that I might have configured one of the logical conditions of the device's activation incorrectly.

Suzumiya then looked at Asahina and asked, "What about you? I suppose all this is classified?"

"It's not that," Asahina stated. "It's just that I come from a different time plane."

"So none of this happened?" Suzumiya asked.

"In my time plane," Asahina added, "you didn't even go to this school until months later."

"Oh, right," Suzumiya remarked. "You must come from that time plane that the older me came from."

Asahina thankfully didn't go any further in her explanation. It's one thing for Suzumiya to understand the existence of unusual individuals around her. It's quite another thing for her to understand herself. Aside from the fact that I am forbidden from permitting her awareness of herself, there is the almost absolute certainty that such an event would cause an unthinkable disaster. I worried constantly that you would inform her, but you seemed to be sensibly convinced of my view on the matter.

"How about you?" she asked Koizumi. "You have a big brain, right?"

"I'm inclined to go with the official story," he replied.

"You don't really believe it, do you?"

"I'm afraid I do."

He sounded convincing enough that Suzumiya let it go, and that was a relief. He had probably come to the conclusion that there was something supernatural involved, and I wondered how he would react to the thought of it being Suzumiya. He had only been here for two weeks, but he could clearly see that his initial impression of her was as misguided as his initial impression of Asahina. He still dislikes Asahina more, but this incident seemed to be giving him serious misgivings about being in this club. His unusual powers of perception were not surprising when you consider that Suzumiya had a desire to meet with people who had that type of power. I was starting to think that it wasn't a coincidence that we all just happened to be chosen by Suzumiya; even you, though I couldn't be certain why she chose you until you had discovered the reason for yourself.

All that day, there was a lingering impression in my mind that you were the real reason for this incident, and I couldn't accept it. For all my data on Suzumiya, I have a greater personal interest in you, and I've probably collected about twice as much data simply from investigating your odd mentality. I kept having the impression that if you weren't in this situation, everything would have gone more smoothly, but that turned out to be incorrect (as you will see later in this narrative). The thought was persistent, and I continued to block it from my mind reflexively until I concentrated on it. When I fixed my concentration on it, the thought was terrifying. What wouldn't Suzumiya do for you in the cause of her unknown purpose for you? She would kill without hesitation. I had no doubt of that. It very much bothered me since I also deduced that she might subconsciously see me as her most effective rival in whatever purpose she had in mind.

I continued to read as much as I could. This became like a therapeutic ritual for me; a meditation on my own mortality. As I began to understand that, it meant more enjoyment for me, though I still wasn't quite grasping the concept of that. As much as Asakura amuses herself by toying with me, I've never fully comprehended what compels that motive in her. Asakura wears this motive very openly for all the world to see, and this aids me in my understanding of Suzumiya, who has difficulty expressing her motives. Suzumiya's compulsion toward amusement is much stronger than even Asakura's, but it's really more like a volcano that goes off every now and then than like the constant precipitation of Asakura's compulsions.

The rain continued falling most of that day, and it had an oddly comforting sensation for me as I walked home with my umbrella. The rain's constant action against my protective device put me in the mind of how conflicted the society of humans can become over an interruption of their unrealistically optimistic expectations. The media, in particular, had become obsessed to the point of absurdity over one unusual death. People can accept everyday deaths: deaths from disease or complications from accumulated deterioration, deaths from the violent ends of stressful situations, deaths from accidental collisions. Give them a mystery, however, and it grows out of proportion. The whole world takes notice. Even in France, there were reports of our misadventure, and I had heard that the interest there was very high. It was baffling.

The convenient thing about death for humans is its sudden and permanent nature. Me and my associates might "die" a thousand casual deaths and simply walk away. That isn't possible for humans. I live a wretched existence, doomed to be brought back to life like Frankenstein's monster again and again whenever it's convenient for my superiors. I often wish I were human, instead.

I think this is part of the reason that I read so much. For humans, it simply goes without saying that one should fear death, and that becomes a significant factor in much of their behavior. My fear is that I will contaminate my data beyond hope of repair with unexplainable failures. Humans live a much more simple existence, and it's an existence that is easily mended. You simply walk with the right people, and you can rest assured that you will live free of corruption. For me, it's not that easy.

- x -

When I approached my apartment, I found Koizumi waiting. I had expected him to show up at some point, but this was conveniently early. We had some brief words, and I invited him into my apartment. I was curious to find out what he'd discovered about his abilities, and I was also curious on a few other points that had been neglected from my dossier on him.

He seemed a little surprised that my apartment was so "girlish" but that had been the effect of Asahina's earlier interference. That particular Asahina had apparently expected me to become much more prone to sentimentality than I expected, and although I registered it as a reflection of my original state of being, I found it to be more of an odd curiosity than anything else.

Once we began to converse on the subject of his unusual power, he quickly denied having made any progress, but he just as quickly added that he was a member of an organization of humans who apparently all have this power. This was new information, so I questioned him about it.

His information on this organization is spotty because his own inclination was to write it off as a hoax or an elaborate prank. He isn't prone to joining organizations; in particular, any organization that appears to have dubious origins. This organization definitely had such an origin. Its founder was a religious man who had begun believing that Suzumiya was some kind of deity, and that our whole world was simply the product of her dream. Koizumi confronted the young man personally, questioning him at length about these beliefs. The young man was impressed by his questions, and Koizumi was similarly impressed by what he learned about Suzumiya. For that reason, he eventually transferred and became a part of her circle. He briefly complained that he didn't realize he was risking his life, but he found it amusing to think that that would actually bother him. His thoughts on the subject of life and death are oddly similar to mine.

He then began questioning me about you, and he learned a lot about you and what I perceive as your role in our circle. He found it a little odd that I hadn't discovered your purpose, but then he speculated that a mystery is perhaps the most important element in any substantial gathering of data. He expressed a great willingness to keep an open mind about you and your nature, though those seemed like simple topics to me. He also expressed some concern that other factions were taking a keen interest in you, and I found that amusing (considering that I knew that the number of unknown entities who were doing that already numbered above twenty). I realized that I would never agree with Koizumi on many of the topics we might discuss, so I cautioned myself toward that end. Or rather, I would have, but I discovered that I had already left myself a note to this effect from the two previous time planes.

He then predictably began a discussion of his family life, and I cut that short. I expressed my gratitude and dismissed him, knowing that that discussion would not lead to any sort of productive discovery.

- x -

Later that day, I was visited by my subordinate, and she started toying with me again. I've been accumulating notes on this behavior of hers, but I always find myself astonished by it. It's a very familiar pattern though: she starts off with just a pulse of something annoying. She then very expertly increases that stimulation at just the right frequency and increasing intensity until she knows she can elicit a reaction. She then stands there waiting for a reaction with a bit of a smirk on her face as if to say how altogether too easy it is for her. The thing that astonishes me is not how long she can drag out the annoyances nor even the intensity of the reaction she can provoke. The thing that astonishes me is how effortless she makes it appear. For me, it's practically impossible to even imagine toying with someone this way, but she makes it look like a well-toned set of muscles in her mind that she's simply flexing.

She then inadvertently shows me some vulnerable side of herself, and that more or less evens things out. It's something that I always dread, but I think the payoff may ultimately make it worthwhile.

In this instance, she began shaking and admitting how terrified she was, saying, "I don't know if I can handle this."

"You fear death?" I asked, a little disbelieving.

"No," she answered. "I don't want to keep doing this."

"What makes you say that?" I asked.

She then shot me a look of confusion and almost gaped. After a few moments, she then asked, "Haven't you noticed?"

I then took a moment to bring up the notifications of cautions for the future and I realized that they abruptly stopped at about midnight, local time. I then probed the space-time continuum, and found that it abruptly ended at that point.

"You were too caught up in the incident to notice," she added, almost laughing. I think she almost began weeping, but then she caught herself.

"This seems to lend credence to my initial conclusions," I remarked.

"You think?" she said, a little derisively.

- x -

I then investigated the temporal data stream, and the anomaly appeared to be a bubble that just suddenly came up right about the time Suzumiya had returned home today. Given my understanding of how human time travel works, I realized that this eliminated even my fallback position as a possibility. We were now completely at the mercy of Suzumiya and whatever her mysterious afflictions provoked in the behavior of the universe.

I took all my most significant observations of Koizumi, arranged them by importance, and then tagged that compilation as a high-priority notification for any further iteration of myself. This was standard procedure in these types of situations, but I had never had cause to use it. I had no doubt that I would quickly become aware of the nature of this problem, and if I were able to act on it, I would be in a good position to make a foray into its resolution.

I then realized that we had a few hours to consider this further. Asakura appeared to be in a state of shock, so she would be useless. I calmed myself and slowed my thoughts to a very easily managed pace. Once I had relaxed and used my self-awareness to find my proper focus, I became aware of the fact that this situation had made me somewhat self-aware. That in itself was fascinating, but I put it aside for a later consideration. The important thing here was to consider events similar to this one.

I recall being told by you that my boss had "cheated" in getting this far, and that had made me wonder how much of the true nature of this situation you had understood. It really wasn't surprising that you were accumulating insights at such a rapid frequency considering the situation you'd been in at the time, but it struck me as worthy of further reflection. You weren't merely trying to rescue yourself and others from some temporal phenomenon, you were struggling with the way you perceived yourself. You had believed yourself unworthy of the romance being offered to you, and you were confronting that misconception. You were struggling with the way you perceived Suzumiya, and you found yourself having trouble believing that she could be trusted. You were struggling with the truth of that situation, finding it hard to believe that your future had suddenly become as certain as your past. Those conflicts forced you to redefine yourself, and in the process, you redefined the way you perceived everything.

It seemed moronic, but could it really be that simple? I tried redefining myself, and it suddenly occurred to me that I'm also afraid of doing things like that. Once I calmed down and rescued myself from my sudden panic, I then refocused. Okay. I wouldn't have an existential moment again. Those were just too damn dangerous. When I was confident enough to reflect on what had suddenly happened there, I realized that some corners of the psyche are not really meant to be traversed without the proper preparation. It was depressing, but you were clearly able to go somewhere in yourself that I was about a century or two away from experiencing for myself. I reflected on my original state for a few minutes and revised that estimate to about five or six centuries.

I resolved to continue my analysis of that event and just be content with whatever my limited awareness could give me about that incident from almost three years ago. I recalled that a sudden anomalous emanation had appeared, so I had quickly switched to stealth mode, as that was standard procedure for encountering unknown entities. It had seemed to be aware of my presence, although it made no threatening movements. It was an odd blue figure that seemed somewhat translucent. Asahina responded to it as if entranced by it, and then you awoke and responded to it in similar fashion. The figure then extended its hand to Asahina, and she took it. It then extended its other hand to you, and you took that. The blue light then increased in intensity until I could no longer see anything but the light, and then the light was suddenly gone. I had thought that Suzumiya was still there, but she had apparently vanished, along with you, Asahina and the figure. I then searched my memory and discovered reports of Suzumiya's reappearance at her home. That mysterious event had been anticipated, although I wasn't sure then of these specifics at the time.

Nothing else of interest had happened. I made a special note of these specific considerations and attached those as a footnote to my observations of Koizumi. I then received a notification of interest and decided to log onto the psych line and see what Suzumiya was up to, via one of the standard observational data units.

"Yeah," she was saying to her cell phone. "That Tsuruya bitch is freaky. I really don't trust her."

Koizumi was addressing her via the phone, saying, "I don't know. She seemed rather charming to me."

"Trust me," Suzumiya added. "You don't want to know what she's really like. I wouldn't put it past her to have killed that guy."

"You really think so? I think she's really nice."

"She has this really dark side. She can actually be unbelievably brutal. Just... Let's talk about something else, okay?"

Koizumi seemed to have an irritated pause and then said, "Sure. Anything else you wanted to discuss?"

"Am I keeping you awake?" Suzumiya asked.

"No, I'm okay."

"Are you sure? Because I don't want to ruin your night. I mean, a guy just died the other day, but we can forget that if you're too tired."

"It's all right. I'm listening. Please continue."

"Okay..."

I made a note of the time. It was ten past eleven PM. This could prove to be significant, so I stayed on the line. I think a number of other data units were listening along with me. I could tell that Asakura was, from her odd facial expressions and their timing.

Suzumiya continued, "I don't want to think Kyon had anything to do with it."

"I agree," Koizumi said.

"We always have a lot of fun. I mean, he does get on my nerves at times, but he's a really great guy. I can't imagine him doing something like that."

"Yeah."

"Thanks for giving me your share of the yakiniku. I love that stuff."

"It was no problem."

"I mean, I wouldn't kill a guy for it. But, you know."

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later."

"Goodnight."

I then attached a further note to pay special attention to Tsuruya onto that footnote, and tagged the information for special handling, requesting a priority communication stream to the archive in case something happened to my interface. I know my memories are archived, but sometimes the memories at the space-time continuum boundaries don't quite get into the archive because of the increase in data traffic. I wasn't the only one making these kinds of data compilations to be restored for after the traversal through the boundary field of the temporal bubble.

- x -

I then stopped thinking altogether in preparation for the traversal, and a very strange thing suddenly happened. I suddenly visualized the many times you were staring at Asahina, and it occurred to me that I never thought to ask specifically what had happened with Asahina that night. Since Asahina never said anything, I just assumed that all was well. She didn't give any hints of anything having gone wrong beyond the incident itself, and I had been so focused on my reading that any minutia from her might have been lost. She might have blocked it out and so not remembered herself. I didn't think that the males there would give her any trouble, considering both you and Koizumi were there, but what if they had caused trouble of some kind? It was annoying.

I scolded myself for thinking this way and went back to not thinking again. I then suddenly visualized that book that Tsuruya was so ashamed of. In particular, the lavish way that the author seemed to linger on the ridiculous scenes of violence. It said something for Suzumiya that even she was disgusted by that, so I began to have my doubts about whether Suzumiya could participate in a murder. Her mother annoys her even more greatly, but you don't see her murdering her mother. The more I thought about it in this way, the less sense it made that it could even be a murder. Maybe that incident had actually been some weird accident. I had become so caught up in the human interpretation of the event that I just assumed that Suzumiya must have instigated it.

These thoughts seemed important, and I found myself hoping that I wouldn't have to have a local memory refresh. I'd hate to think I wouldn't be able to remember all this. Whenever I find myself in the resumption of a temporal traversal, I always first try to recover whatever local memory had just occurred at the boundary. I had never had difficulty before, so maybe this time would be no different.

I was curious what would happen if I stopped thinking again, and I suddenly found myself visualizing a homework assignment. You had compared my purpose to such a thing, and it had always bothered me. I hadn't been able to reject the notion, but it had seemed a strangely trivial way to view such a large purpose. Now that I stopped and considered it, it did make sense to think of it that way. A homework assignment is really just a quest for understanding, and that's all my observations amounted to in the long run. A homework assignment is (ideally) a fun and compelling thing to do, but there was nothing fun about what I was assigned to do here. That doesn't mean I don't find it compelling. I actually find my work compelling in ways you could never find in a homework assignment.

I then had the brief thought that it would be too bad if I figured out everything a little too quickly. That would just spoil what little fun this had to offer, but then I noticed that we were approaching the temporal boundary and I switched into standby mode.


	13. Three

- Chapter 3

When I returned from standby, I checked the temporal notifications, processed a few boundary synchronization issues, and filed some revised reports. My superiors were relieved to see that I downgraded my primary projected analysis of the violent altercation to "accidental" homicide rather than "intentional" homicide. That seemed like an important step toward my revised operational objectives, especially considering I had returned to Saturday morning (which is at least twenty-seven hours before that incident would occur).

I then took a moment to notice the strange creature who kept appearing in reflections off of various surfaces in my apartment. I was linked to this "humanoid interface" in some strange way that I felt I should have understood. It was a puzzlement, but the more data I confronted on this issue, the larger a mystery it became. I filed that away as a low-priority consideration and went back to my notifications.

I should admit that I understood how I controlled this creature in every significant way, but it seemed odd to think that there was anything more to it than that.

The reports covering Koizumi seemed to draw a lot of my attention, but I decided to put the consideration of the computer club president first. It seemed logical to expedite that situation, since that was really the focus of my previous investigation. I reviewed reports, discarded them as useless, and made a mental note to interview the male student later at some convenient time. I made a list of questions and tagged that to appear at noon.

Having resolved that, I then reviewed my compilations concerning Koizumi, sorting them into a more logical order. There seemed to be some connection between the anomalous figure I had witnessed, Koizumi's reports of extrasensory perception, and his organization. He had briefly mentioned some "interesting" observations of the young man to whom he had pledged his loyalty, and I made a note to attempt to delve into that issue again at the earliest convenient opportunity. Looking at this data, I made my highest priority to analyze anything that could trigger some subconscious conflict for Suzumiya, and I tagged that as a general suggestion for anyone helping in this investigation.

With that out of the way, I quickly reviewed the reports concerning the defenses of the previous temporal iteration, and I noted that giving Suzumiya's guardians full autonomy had been a serious failure on my part. Their delays in processing my suggestions had endangered our lives and could possibly endanger the computer club president again, assuming he remained the target of the altercation. I revised my operational suggestions and made a notice of intent to file a more general complaint against Suzumiya's guardians. I then reviewed my own defensive strategy and discarded it as worthless for our revised objectives, settling on using dimensional barricades rather than the standard defensive patrols and probes. A dimensional barricade was still computationally economical, and would work absolutely against any conventional known hostile.

I then took note of the persistence of Suzumiya's prohibition against books, and I filed that away under "superficial nuisance." I knew exactly what that was about, and I didn't think my subordinate would have the nerve to raise that issue again. I wouldn't read openly, but I didn't consider myself bound to that prohibition, and no one else even made mention of it.

- x -

I initially intended to have Asakura interview the computer club president, but that presented too many scheduling conflicts, so I went ahead and conducted the interview myself. I joined him on his twelve-thirty bus ride toward our destination, and I initiated a conversation. I decided to copy Asakura's style of using simple, easily understood questions as a way to begin the conversation, gradually asking the more complicated and difficult questions as our conversation continued.

He persisted in being more nervous than he should have been, though he seemed to enjoy our conversation. He especially chafed at any mention of Suzumiya, stating that his only interest was in the handling of the computers being set up in the study. I had previously arranged a trade with him: any one of the computers in the study in exchange for his cooperation in this endeavor. He seemed eager to inspect them, though he downplayed their importance to him. As I suspected, the earlier reports concerning him were worthless, and actually would have only succeeded in perpetuating myths of his intentions. He was clearly holding a grudge, but this situation could only be stimulating Suzumiya's irritation toward him subconsciously.

I checked with Asakura concerning Tsuruya, and Tsuruya had confirmed that she had not been invited to our outing. That seemed to confirm my earlier suspicion about Suzumiya's attitude toward her.

I therefore withdrew the suggestion I had made previously, and I notified the data units attached to the investigation that my highest priority was now the safety of the computer club president. I was convinced that he was the target of the mysterious altercation.

There was a long debate about that decision, and it was decided that me and my subordinate should personally look after the computer club president. The other data units were free to look after whoever they felt needed looking after. Considering that the danger was still an unknown, that seemed like a reasonable course, so I agreed and revised my plans, accordingly.

- x -

Since I planned on having Asahina participate in the shooter game, I went ahead and prepared the meals for the evening myself, carefully wrapping them and leaving them in the counters. I left the rice for later preparation, and I left the animal flesh refrigerated, deciding on bringing out portable cookers for that during the meal. It was more of a safety hazard, but preparing it this way was considered more conventional for the humans.

I spent the interim reading. Later that afternoon, I received reports from Asakura of anomalous behavior: Taniguchi flirting with Asahina, Suzumiya revealing my alien status to Taniguchi and Kunikida, Koizumi playfully chiding Suzumiya over some insensitive remarks, Taniguchi pointing out a couple landmarks that Koizumi had overlooked, and you stating in vague terms that you wished I had come along on that bus instead of the earlier bus. That last one raised a lot of red flags among my superiors, but they eventually buried it in low-priority notification queues.

As I suspected, the computer club president was most impressed with the computer that he had designated the "server" for his arrangement, here in the study. He made it clear to me that he was very much looking forward to adding it to the computer club's collection, and that he was actually grateful to Suzumiya for ridding him of that "old piece of junk" that he had had stolen from him. I questioned whether he was certain of this assessment, but he enthusiastically repeated it. So, this put some doubt in my mind whether he held a grudge at all. He no doubt still chafed at having been threatened in front of his associates, but that seemed like a trivial matter compared to his excitement now.

I recalled the scene of his death from the previous iteration of this temporal anomaly, and I asked him a somewhat leading question about the room itself. I wondered if there was any sign of awareness in him of that event, but he only made some confused responses, obviously unaware of anything aside from the network he was testing. I made a note to ask Koizumi a similar question when the opportunity arose, and I discovered something interesting about my own self-awareness:

Here was someone I expected to die. I conversed with him as if I were speaking to him through a kind of spirit medium, and that made me aware of the fact that I could die, as well. That thought seemed to unite myself and my interface for a brief moment, and I began to realize that I could think things of this nature. Then again, I knew from previous observations that this was roughly how it worked. Brushes with death nearly always seem to increase my self-awareness, though always at the cost of some deterioration. I wondered for a moment if that was related to my fear of books, but I then decided to save that speculation for later.

I then realized that I expected him to die because I had a hunch. This wasn't cynicism or a lack of faith in myself or my associates. I just had a really bad feeling about it, and I was a little surprised at myself that I could have a feeling like that.

- x -

Asakura seemed to be feeling light-hearted and kind, and I recognized this as a bad sign. This heightened mood of hers nearly always precedes the worst kind of calamitous moods. She suggested a number of alternative pastimes, but (as I predicted) Suzumiya insisted on playing a networked shooter game. It isn't all that often that we get the chance to do this as a group, and she likes these kind of games almost as much as racing games, though not nearly as much as strategy games.

Asahina nearly escaped into the kitchen, but I cornered her at the door and calmly talked her toward the study. I then volunteered her to be on Suzumiya's team, along with myself and Asakura. Suzumiya was keen on this arrangement.

"All right," she said. "Boys against the girls. I like it."

Koizumi politely offered you a chance to play, but you declined. That left the other side with the computer club president, Koizumi, Taniguchi, and Kunikida. Once everyone was comfortably through the tutorial rounds, we began a match. I quickly ended that match, myself.

"Holy crap, Yuki," Suzumiya remarked. "You might give the rest of us a chance to get into it."

"That was just dumb luck," Asakura stated, as I had prompted her to say. I think she may have even believed it was luck, but it wasn't.

We then started another match, and I gave myself the task of giving Suzumiya the best possible support without actually finishing off an enemy opponent. This basically left our side with only Asakura and Suzumiya, since Asahina would only run and hide. We nevertheless finished them off in very little time.

"This is so unfair," Taniguchi complained. "They have two aliens on their side."

"How is that unfair?" Suzumiya asked.

"They could be using their alien-ness to cheat, or something," Taniguchi explained.

You looked up from the server monitor and said, "Stop being a sore loser. From where I'm sitting, you guys have an extreme upper hand..." He looked at Asahina and added, "No offense."

"That's okay," Asahina said. "I'm really no good at this sort of thing."

"Yeah, that's right," Suzumiya said. "We're handicapped with this girl. You guys should pool together your big brains and try playing for a change."

We then started the next round, and that became more interesting, though the issue of who would win was never really in any doubt. I wasn't permitted to let them win, in any case, but that didn't mean it couldn't be close. We were soon twelve-to-zero on the match score, and the males were begging to quit while Suzumiya was begging to continue. It was getting late, though, so you convinced everyone to just be content with this and start getting ready for supper.

We then had supper and cleared the table. It was suggested that we play Poker, so we played that. I noticed that the computer club president was playing along with the rest of us. He began winning nearly every hand, though he ended up moderately below where he started by the time he was done. Suzumiya did well at the start, and then posted moderate gains toward the end. I did poorly and I ended up almost going all-in toward the end. It was a pretty typical game, though nothing like the previous iteration.

- x -

Suzumiya divided up the rooms as I expected: giving the males two of the rooms to divide between them, then giving herself and Asakura one room, and Asahina and myself were left with the other. We bathed and dried off, then returned to the study to sit and talk. As I expected, Suzumiya snuck away and Asakura followed. She shot me a questioning glance, and I merely narrowed my eyes at her. She then rolled her eyes and continued.

Taniguchi then began a discussion with Asahina regarding Suzumiya. It seemed that there was going to be some dispute, but then he began speaking of her in tones of reverence, wondering at how Suzumiya could arrange for a weekend at such an obviously expensive place. You then explained how Suzumiya has mysterious connections, making a rather obvious facial gesture in my direction, then explained how Koizumi vouched for our good behavior. Taniguchi had some trouble believing all that. Kunikida then complained that we weren't permitted to bring books, and that prompted Taniguchi to explain how Suzumiya was trying to spare us from doing homework over the weekend in spite of the fact that we had mainly proposed this as a study meeting.

At Asahina's suggestion, we then moved to the dining room to have tea, and continued our discussion there. The subject of the next day's plans and the weather turned up, along with some argument over what Suzumiya and Asakura were up to. Asahina explained that they were probably just tired, and that seemed to satisfy the males. It's surprising to me that males can be so gullible about how shy and retiring females supposedly are, even when they really should know better in this particular case. Between the two of them, Suzumiya and Asakura were the topic of roughly ten percent of a random sampling of idle discussions observed at the high school.

Throughout the discussion, I noticed an odd tendency for Koizumi to have a serious and confused look on his face, and I deduced that Asakura and I would have no difficulty prompting him to join us in an early morning meeting.

- x -

As a matter of fact, when Asakura and I rendezvoused at the dining room, we found Koizumi already there, sipping on a cup of tea. He offered to leave, but Asakura quickly dissuaded him of that and informed him that we were intending to speak with him, anyway.

"Okay," he said. "I just find it rather odd to be having a discussion at three in the morning."

"It's more convenient this way," Asakura assured him. "This way, we'll be less likely to be interrupted."

"Yeah," he admitted. He took a long moment to think and then asked, "So, shall we get to the point? I mean, this is really starting to bother me."

"You've noticed it, huh?" she asked.

"I keep getting this sensation of deja vu," he explained.

"Yeah..."

I decided to cut these pleasantries short and explained, "This is the second iteration of a temporal loop. In the first, there was a situation."

"What kind of situation?" he asked.

"Let's discuss that later," I suggested. "For now, I'd like to make you aware that we know of your organization."

"Okay," he answered.

"You have a leader. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I just need a few more details."

"I'll be more than happy to fill you in. What do you want to know?"

"Was there anything in your encounter with him that seemed supernatural?"

He took a few moments to acknowledge that and then said, "So, this is about celestials."

"Yes," I said, signaling a priority notification of interest to the other data units involved. "If you would."

"Of course," he answered. He then took a moment and said, "Where to begin? Okay... Celestials are bluish figures that come in three different sizes: human-size, elvish, and giant. The giants can be rather large: as much as ten meters tall. All celestials are somewhat translucent and do not appear to have the kind of distinctive features that most humanoids have, though they do appear to have the basic characteristics. They are extremely docile in nature. They usually only appear for a few seconds, although it's been said that they can appear for as long as three or four minutes. They do not appear to have the ability to communicate, though they do seem to have a kind of awareness of their surroundings."

"Can you sense them in other ways?" I asked.

"Other ways?" he said, a little confused.

"ESP," Asakura clarified.

"Ah..." he said, then answered, "I haven't yet had that privilege, though I've been told very firmly that I should have that ability."

"What other abilities should you have?" I asked.

"As far as I know," he replied, "that's really the only one. I suppose I might have others."

"Before you go any further," Asakura then stated, "we'd like you to know that we believe you. We think that Miss Nagato here has encountered one of those celestials before."

"Oh, you have?" he asked me.

"Yes," I said.

"So..." Asakura added. "You may rest assured that what you were told was probably true. This goes for your abilities, as well."

"Okay," he said, taking a moment to think, then adding, "And this situation involves celestials?"

"Most likely," she said.

"I don't really..." he started.

"A life is at stake," I said, interrupting him. That got his full attention, and he offered no further resistance to our inquiries, though he really had nothing further to add.

- x -

I would have preferred to be wrong. I really would have, but I knew somehow that I wasn't. Not long after our discussion, we noticed the computer club president returning to the study. He explained that he was just going to look at that computer again. We offered him no resistance to his intentions, of course. In fact, we followed him to the study and chatted with him about computers there. It was obvious that he simply couldn't sleep because he was excited about the prospect of more fully exploring this computer and its capabilities.

Koizumi then addressed us and informed us of a "strange feeling" he was having about this room. He felt certain that something was about to happen, and that we had about five minutes to prepare for it. He indicated that it wasn't connected to the previous temporal iteration, but rather some unexplained sensory apparatus of his. I then escorted him to the door of the study, leaving Asakura to defend the computer club president while he continued using the computer, unaware of us.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the celestial appeared in the center of the room. It made no immediate movements, but just seemed to tilt its head to the side as if curious. It then approached Asakura. She seemed still as a statue, and I sensed that she might have been about to panic, but then she suddenly looked at me and gestured with her eyes for me to calm myself.

All the while, the computer club president continued working at his computer until the celestial seemed to take an interest. He then looked up, and the celestial quickly returned to the center of the room. He was about to stand, but Asakura gently touched him on the shoulder. He then sat back down and watched with the rest of us as the celestial started dancing.

I noticed that Suzumiya's guardians had shown up along with four other data units in stealth mode. We all stood and just stared in amazement as the celestial continued dancing with an increasingly frenetic pace until suddenly I noticed how the male student had left his chair and was approaching the celestial. I queued up a teleportation command in my augmentation system's direct input, but it was too late. It wasn't certain to me what would happen, and the celestial took him and smoothly flung him against the wall in one smooth motion, seemingly unaware that that would result in his death. The celestial then abruptly stopped dancing and slowly walked over to where the male student had fallen, and poked him a few times. It then seemed to look around and then suddenly vanished.

A few moments later, I noticed how Koizumi was trembling and Asakura was weeping without seeming to be aware of it. The other data units fled the room, leaving us to deal with all this.

- x -

What followed then was mostly in keeping with the first iteration, although a few interesting anomalies occurred.

My assessment of the situation was far more thorough this time, and I met with no resistance at all in persuading my superiors of my conclusions: the incident had been an excusable homicide, performed without any sign of malicious intent by an unusual emanation. The emanation was drawn to the computer club president at a particular time, it made no effort to communicate, and it seemed aware of its surroundings. The emanation was probably fueled in some way by Suzumiya's capabilities, and its nature was most likely some reflection of her own.

Since the temporal phenomenon was a curvature in the temporal plane, we would not be able to use Asahina's TPDD to effect a preferable variation. So, we were once again at the mercy of Suzumiya's unusual temporal abilities. Beyond that, I advised a cautious approach to resolving the next iteration.

There was a lot of debate over the proper way to proceed, but given all the unknowns that this situation still presented, it was eventually decided that we would carry out my plan. Firstly, we would not change anything that did not need to be changed. This situation, horrendous though it was, could be made vastly worse if we decided to change something in a dramatic way. We might save the computer club president only to lose Koizumi or Asahina, for example. That was simply unacceptable. Koizumi may consider himself replaceable, but I'm certain that Suzumiya does not. Secondly, Koizumi needed to stay informed so that his abilities could be exercised. He could very well prove to be more valuable with some other unknown abilities that could help us in future scenarios with celestials. We wouldn't prompt him to try anything specific, but we would take special note of anything he did try. Third, Asahina would need to be protected in case our forays into handling celestials became problematic. Losing Asahina might create a disruptive temporal paradox, and that could have disastrous results in this situation.

As we approached the temporal boundary again, I noticed how Suzumiya began casting aspersions on Taniguchi, and I noted that Taniguchi would probably be excused from this scenario the next time around. My subordinate approached me with a wild look in her eyes and asked me:

"What if it's you or me she suspects next time?"

"Then we'd be excused," I stated, and Asakura surprised me by laughing hysterically at that.

She then said, "I hope she doesn't start to suspect Koizumi."

"That might present a problem," I admitted.

It seemed to me that Koizumi really was the solution to all this, but it might take some work to get him up to speed on his abilities. I made a mental note to do a more thorough examination of his organization, but that just seemed like a dead end. The way Koizumi had described it, it seemed that they were all groping around in the dark, the same as us.

I then had nothing left to do except notice my self-awareness and discover more insights into my psyche (which I know you seem to love). Asakura's laughter had prompted this odd sensation in me again. I know it isn't a situation that people generally associate with amusement, but that somehow seems to provoke amusement all the more. I reflected on the ironic nature of comedy itself and noted that it seemed to coincide with some more or less threatening situations than are expected. For me, however, there are so many threatening situations that come up for no apparent reason that I found it odd that I wasn't already aware of the nature of comedy. I suppose my view of the world is so warped that nothing could reasonably be viewed as unexpected for me, but that would probably be a cynical point of view. I'm almost positive you would call it that, but I wondered if it really was true.

You would probably laugh at the fact that I fear books. You'd never admit it, but I'm sure you would laugh. It's okay, because it is a funny thing, and I wouldn't take offense at it. On the contrary, I would only wonder why I don't find it amusing, myself. Maybe there's something threatening about books that I understand on some level of my psyche that I fear to acknowledge. Maybe books are only just coincidentally associated with something else that I fear. Maybe books are a kind of doorway into Suzumiya's psyche, and her mind is such a vortex of fear that I naturally tend to avoid it. I really don't know.

One thing was for sure: I was definitely not going to cheat on this homework assignment. This was one problem I was determined to earn the correct answer on.


	14. Four

- Chapter 4

I then suddenly found myself back in the study, watching the celestial dancing. It was strangely mesmerizing. I could easily see how someone could lose all control of their rational thought just by watching. Something about it spoke to the very essence of myself, and I found it very confusing. I know I'm not wrong about this because it seemed to me that I wanted to suddenly be that celestial and just dance with wild abandon the way it was.

I then saw the computer club president walk up to the celestial and he began to dance with the creature. That image suddenly became far more powerful than just an additional figure dancing. I realized then in some dark corner of my mind that I really was this celestial, not so much in actual reality but in the deepest aspiration of my being. And it wasn't just my thoughts or my tangible form that provoked this aspiration, but really the more deeply feeling and eternal self. I had no way to prove it, but it felt true. I simply believed it, and that suddenly became the most precious thing in my consciousness.

I then saw the pair kissing, and they danced out the front door onto the deck, and they lived happily ever after. The end.

No, really. Okay, not really.

What actually happened then was that I returned from standby mode. This odd visualization put me into a brief state of disgust with myself that I only understood for about thirteen microseconds. At that point, I suddenly wondered why this erroneous data was appearing in my interface, and cleared it from my notification area.

I made some quick confirmations, verified the operation parameters, and quickly filed some acknowledgments. We all knew the drill at this point. I reverted all the security procedures to standard, although that was a little redundant. Suzumiya's guardians didn't even bother with the bus ride, and I could hardly blame them. I was only on the bus to prevent you from making some wistful remark about me that might get me in trouble with my superiors. I verified that Taniguchi had missed the bus, and I noted with some disinterest that he had decided not to come because he "had a feeling" that things were amiss. Tsuruya had again not been invited.

At least, at this rate, the loop would be finished after another seven iterations (assuming Suzumiya was willing to excuse everyone), and that would probably resolve this problem. There would still be the mystery of the celestials, but we were at least not completely blind to their existence and what they were capable of. I had a hunch that Suzumiya would not permit this situation to just keep winding down like this. Something crazy was bound to start happening, although Asakura seemed extremely confident in herself this time around. She kept telling me over and over that this was the last iteration, as if trying to convince herself. I wasn't convinced. Something in me just said, no. This is far from over. It can't end like this.

My hunches were bothering me again, and I decided to ignore them. They just seemed to me like more erroneous data. It was more interesting than this repeating data of the bus ride, although I have to admit that this ride was much more pleasant. Without Tsuruya and Taniguchi, the tone of the conversation becomes much softer and more sophisticated. I noticed how Asahina seemed to be in a much better mood than she was in the first iteration, mostly just smiling and adding some polite encouragements, but not really offering any real conversation. That's about all she's good for other than some assurance that humanity has a future bright enough to create a delicate princess like her. All this politeness seemed to grating on your nerves, though. I reflected on a note I left myself that you like to "be the bad guy" when the conversation gets this way, and that seemed the case on this ride. It mostly meant that you had a few mild arguments with Kunikida, and I noted that he was capable of quickly resolving arguments.

"Yuki! Get your butt out here so I can take a picture!"

In spite of all the interesting anomalies, Suzumiya hadn't changed from her intended path. I got off the bus and immediately participated in the picture, just to get that over with.

- x -

The day proceeded much the same as the previous iteration, although I couldn't prevent Asahina from leaving the study when it came time to play the shooter. We therefore played three-on-three, while you once again kept an eye on the server. Suzumiya, Asakura, and myself took on the computer club president, Koizumi, and Kunikida. I had coded a player emulation script for this scenario, and I ran that on my augmentation processor while I pondered on this situation.

While we played the first match, and we won that one by a small margin, I thought about the fact that I was depriving myself of reading. It made no sense, but I just felt that I should put off my reading until Suzumiya brought out her collection. That would free Asakura from feeling the necessity of following Suzumiya into that sordid realm of hers. I was also curious to see if I could find something in those books that weren't in the ones from the first iteration.

"That was a close one," you commented. "You guys might want to be careful. I think Miss Suzumiya means business."

"You bet your ass I do," she said, getting ready to start the next match.

Your manner of addressing Suzumiya seemed a little odd to me, but then I realized that I was thinking about you in the context of some other time plane. I sometimes neglect to notice how you change in subtle ways. It began to irritate me, although I registered that as more erroneous data again, as we once again had a very close match. This time, Suzumiya was just barely beaten at the last moment.

"Oh, no way!" she exclaimed.

"Yes way," you said. "We're even at one a piece."

"Don't underestimate us," Kunikida added.

"Same goes for you," Asakura responded.

The next match was well-fought, although it was a stunning victory for the males. Not only were none of them defeated, none of them were even hit by our forays. I then realized that I could learn something from playing this way. When people fight as a team, a whole new dynamic appears in their strategy, and that gives them new options they wouldn't have, otherwise. My manner of play wasn't just dragging my side down, it was helping raise the game for the males by giving them more confidence, which meant more variety and more likelihood of success.

"Damn it," Suzumiya muttered.

"I'm sorry," Koizumi said. "We really shouldn't show off like that."

"No," I said. "You played well. Don't apologize."

"Really?" Koizumi asked.

"Maybe you should stop sandbagging," Asakura suggested to me.

"Am I?" I said, and she rolled her eyes.

From that point, it seemed that Suzumiya had lost some of her confidence, and the males took the lead in the end. They were winning eight-to-five when Asahina came and announced that we should go prepare for supper.

- x -

After the supper and the Poker match, we divided rooms and had baths. When Suzumiya snuck out of the study, I got up and followed shortly after. Suzumiya was a little surprised to see me show up rather than Asakura, but then she wasn't about to put away her books, either.

"You know what these are?" she asked.

"Yes," I said.

"Well, all right," she added, seeming a little pleased with herself. She then handed me one of the books, and I began to read.

A few moments later, Asakura entered and locked the door behind her, complaining, "All the hormones out there."

Suzumiya had a laugh at that and said, "Yeah, they should work on that."

Asakura showed no interest in me, but began reading, herself.

I then noticed that I was gripping the book I was reading hard enough that I was almost damaging the spine of it. I then relaxed and reflected on what I was reading. This book was one with a long introduction. It carefully plotted the scenario and did a good job making the characters seem believable, but then it fell apart about halfway in. I realized with surprise that I was annoyed by the way this book had turned out. It wasn't the content or the wording or the devices of the plot that bothered me so much as the lack of consistency.

"Annoying, ain't it?" Suzumiya asked.

"Yes," I said.

"Here you go," she said, giving me another book. She then remarked, "You know, you read awfully fast."

This next book was stunning. I couldn't recall having read this book. If I had, I knew I would have flagged it, because the story was interesting, but not so interesting that it overshadowed the characters. The plotting was good, but not so good that it drew attention away from the story. The scenes of romance were good, but not so good that you could comfortably forget the plot. It seemed more like the kind of story that an author might write strictly for their own amusement.

"I don't like that one," Asakura said. "Too masturbatory."

"You're crazy," Suzumiya remarked.

I finished it, then started on it again. This may seem a bit much, but I started to picture you as one of the characters in the story, and it seemed like I could suddenly see myself as the heroine. It made the story much more interesting, but I think Asakura was starting to catch a hint of the way I was reading it, because she snatched the book out of my hands about halfway through it.

"That's enough of that one," she said. "Try one of mine." She then handed me another book.

"Yeah," Suzumiya said. "Hers are really wild."

I recognized this book. I don't think I would use "wild" to describe it. It was just plain nasty. The scenes of romance went almost from start to finish. I felt a bit like I had been violated by it. I then started reading it again, this time picturing Asahina as the heroine. That made it much more amusing. I even reworded some of the dialogue in my mind closer to the way she would say things. After doing that for about five minutes, Asakura complained, "You have a really sick imagination."

"What?" Suzumiya asked.

"She's picturing Miss Asahina as the slutty girl in that novel," Asakura explained.

Suzumiya had a good laugh at that, and I think she may have learned a new form of perversion from me that night.

- x -

With that bit of light entertainment out of the way, I later met up with Koizumi along with Asakura in the dining room. I briefly informed him that this was the third temporal iteration of a short loop, that he possessed abilities that defied reason, and that this involved emanations that had been described to him by his organization.

"And..." he started, seemingly afraid to continue.

"Yes," I said. "We know all about your organization. The leader of your organization is a man who, if the temporal stream had not been altered at all, would have become Haruhi Suzumiya's husband and would have erected a religious organization devoted toward her worship."

"That explains a lot," he said.

"You have a duty to learn all this," I informed him, "but you cannot simply sit idly by. I feel you have a role to play in this that is much more active. Given the unknown nature of your ability, however I cannot lead you into an understanding of that ability. I am forced to trust that you will discover it for yourself. It's highly likely that this sort of incident will continue to recur. Do you understand?"

"Yes," he answered, his eyes filled with excitement. He then struck me as very similar in nature to the computer club president when testing his computer equipment.

"In addition to being able to sense these beings you call celestials, you can anticipate their arrival with some form of clairvoyance."

"Indeed?"

"Yes," Asakura said, "but don't get in my way. You just concentrate on your abilities and let me handle the creature itself."

"Didn't you say that they are docile?" he asked.

"That has been their observed pattern up to this point," I answered. "At this point, they become more highly active. Their behavior is starting to make them dangerous for ordinary humans."

"So," he said, "why not just restrain us?"

"That's the plan," I said.

"What happened in the previous iteration?" he asked.

I replied, "The celestial caught us off guard with an unexpected maneuver. We learned that it has the ability to dazzle unwary humanoids, including myself."

Asakura added, "The guy gets caught like a deer in headlights by that dancing. If we let him get near it, it picks him up and sends him slamming into the wall, killing him instantly."

"I see," he said. "So, you plan to force it to stop?"

"I plan to dismember it," she answered.

"I don't suppose you could just restrain it," he mused.

"This is her specialty," I explained.

"It's what I do," she added.

- x -

We had an earlier warning this time around. Before the male student even appeared, Koizumi warned us that we had fifteen minutes before "something big" came. I asked him to be specific, but that was all he could tell us. About five minutes later, the computer club president appeared and went to the computer, as we expected. Asakura accompanied him, while Koizumi and I stayed just outside the study.

"It's close," Koizumi warned. "I feel like it's nearly on top of us."

"This is it," I warned the other data units, but they were ready. To be precise, they were ready for the celestial. They weren't actually ready for what was about to happen.

I stood there dumbfounded as the male student and Asakura suddenly vanished. I looked at Koizumi, but he seemed just as surprised.

"Whoa," he said. "What the heck?"

I tried to make a passive connection over the psych line to Asakura, but there was something like a dimensional rift acting as interference.

"Some form of dimensional barrier," I guessed. "Perhaps it's learning from us."

"Perhaps..." he said.

He then reached out with his hand and then pulled it back. He then paused for a moment, then said, "Hey..."

"Yes?" I prompted.

"I can sort of sense something here," he said. "Shall I...?"

"Whatever you're thinking of doing," I told him, "just do it."

He then put out his hand again, and it seemed to me that he could sense the barrier. His hand then went through the barrier, and he suddenly vanished into the invisible area. I tried to follow, but I only encountered the empty room, so I left again.

For a long moment, I felt like panicking, but I then realized that there was nothing I could do. The situation was undoubtedly already resolved. All I could do was wait for some sign of a resolution. I was about to order some probes to scan the area when Koizumi, Asakura, and the body of the male student suddenly appeared.

"Oh man," Asakura said, almost cheerful. "I wish you had been in there."

"In there?" I asked.

"It's some kind of closed space," Koizumi answered. "I don't know how, but I can sense when those are about to appear."

"What happened to the male student?" I asked Asakura.

She answered, "I'm sorry, but I was so shocked by the fact that you disappeared that I..."

"Yeah..." I said, realizing that Asakura does tend to panic in these situations more easily than I. "I expected something like this to happen."

"But it turns out that the celestial isn't that tough," she added, cheerfully.

"It was quite interesting," Koizumi said. "Once she destroyed that creature, the closed space itself disintegrated." He then looked at the male student and added, "It's just unfortunate that we couldn't save him in time."

For Koizumi to understand all this so suddenly was impressive. I think I had underestimated him. I keep forgetting that humans can't seem to remember previous iterations without some form of temporal fluctuation to jog their subconscious; and even then, they usually dismiss that hall of mirrors effect as some kind of malfunction of their brain. In most cases, a malfunction is probably a suitable explanation for deja vu, but this temporal phenomenon hides behind that mundane one, and human beings ordinarily continue their lives as if nothing unusual happened. It was an enviable state, but it was an ignorant one, and I can't permit that in myself.

I then spent as much time as possible reading my books, and it suddenly seemed to me that books were very much like the previous iterations of temporal phenomena to me. I could peruse their contents and imagine them in various ways, but I couldn't change their contents. I then speculated that perhaps it's this permanence that I really fear, but that was just a hunch. I then considered that the enjoyment I derive from reading may also have something to do with it, but that consideration was a reflex caused by the fact that I dislike my hunches. I prefer to find alternative explanations for all things wherever possible, because it occurs to me that I really shouldn't be comfortable with just one explanation. My duties require me to find that one explanation, but it isn't something I arrive at easily.

My one addition in my reports to this experience was simply: expect the unexpected. I suspect that was a little redundant, however. In the domain of the unknown, it goes without saying that you should expect the unexpected.

- x -

In this particular iteration, the one major difference was that Suzumiya seemed to believe the official explanation, but she still wasn't quite comfortable with it. She insisted that there was something more to it all, but she couldn't quite figure it out. It was extremely frustrating for her, and she pounded the table in the clubroom with her fists a little more than she usually would. She had a little more trouble eating, and she complained that she wasn't hungry even when I knew she was.

Asakura was more cheerful than usual, and I think she might have actually been looking forward to another iteration. Koizumi was more thoughtful than in other iterations, and it seemed to me that though he was enthusiastic about his new abilities, he also seemed a little disappointed with himself. I encouraged him as much as I could, but that only had the effect of making him depressed. I made a note to myself to be careful about encouraging Koizumi, but I discovered that I had already made notes to myself on this matter before.

When Suzumiya had her late-night phone call to Koizumi just before the temporal boundary, she expressed some concern about the situation, blaming herself about the danger and adding that she didn't want to keep getting your friends involved in all that in spite of them not even knowing anything about us. I noted that this seemed to be her way of excusing Kunikida, and that turned out to be the case.

Just before I awoke from standby, I discovered in shock that I had transformed into a monstrous being: a creature of sweaty habits and a cruel dependence on other creatures like itself. I then snapped out of that and returned to my safe hiding place of numbers and logical relationships, soothed by the knowledge that I remained oblivious while my interface mindlessly crawled through a world of pain and difficulty.

My duty was clear now: make sure the way was clear for Koizumi to learn what he needed to know, whatever that was. I told this to my superiors, and they agreed, though they cautioned me not to get too close to these humans. Forming familial bonds can only lead to greater difficulty, and I could not have disagreed. I pondered on the possible advantages this trait of affection could have among humans, but this only led me to the conclusion that humans were destined to be prone to deterioration. My inclination in those days was to always avoid deterioration.

- x -

When I got on the bus for our trip that day, I noted that Kunikida was missing, along with Tsuruya and Taniguchi. Tsuruya had not been invited, Taniguchi had had "a feeling," and Kunikida had suddenly been forbidden from attending the trip by his mother. That left six of us, not counting the computer club president. It was fascinating to see all the ways that people could be excused from this event, and I came to the realization that for them to be excused from this was symbolic of their death in Suzumiya's subconscious. This was just a guess, but I think for her to excuse them was just as distressing as seeing them die. The thought was disturbing, but I dismissed that data as erroneous, of course.

The thoughts I mainly preoccupied myself with were how everyone seemed to understand how valuable it was to have Koizumi on this trip. It was a little anomalous, but I surmised that his relative importance had increased because of the fewer number of people. He didn't seem to realize it, but I think Suzumiya did. There seemed to be a kind of affection in the way she looked at him, but she also seemed to despair of ever realizing that affection openly. It made me oddly aware of how I sometimes view you: I sometimes have this feeling that I should show you affection, but it just seems like more erroneous data.

We took a picture at the bus stop and walked the rest of the way to the house. The others somewhat nervously speculated on what we might find there. Asahina escaped into the kitchen again during our shooter game, so that left me, Suzumiya, and Asakura to do battle with you, Koizumi, and the computer club president. To my surprise, we tied in number of matches won: six matches each. This was while using my slightly modified player emulation script, but I hadn't thought it would match up so well with the others. Suzumiya wanted a tie-breaker, but you didn't want our food to get cold, so we all went and had supper at that point. We then used a Poker match to settle the score. We played in teams again, but this time the males won, though not by much.

We then divided rooms, had baths, and met in the study again. Suzumiya had to wait for us to have a long discussion that continued in the dining room before she could comfortably retire to her room, and I didn't really feel comfortable joining her and Asakura. Asakura was a little too excited for her own good, and I had the feeling that she would have made me read out loud again, had I joined them.

When the time came for me and Asakura to join Koizumi at the dining room for his debriefing, he invited us to sit and have tea, and started with:

"I already know what you're going to tell me: I have extrasensory perception."

"That's right," I said.

He sighed and added, "I'm not crazy. There's something that's going to happen in about twenty minutes, and it has to do with celestials and my organization."

"Yes," I said.

"This explains that feeling of deja vu I've been having. What is this? The third time?"

"Fourth," Asakura said.

"Fourth?" he asked, a little disbelieving.

"Let's quickly go over what we know about your abilities," I said.

"Okay," he answered.

"From the previous iterations," I explained, "we observed that you have the ability to sense the location of what you refer to as celestials. You also have the ability to sense in advance when they will appear. Furthermore, you also have the ability to traverse through the boundaries of what you have termed 'closed spaces.'"

"Just those three?" he asked.

"You may have other abilities," I added. "Please keep this in mind, and do not hesitate to use whatever abilities you discover in yourself. This is a matter of life and death."

"What are 'closed spaces?'" he then asked.

Asakura replied, "They are a kind of corrosive alternate space. From the outside, they appear to be nothing, but from the inside, you can clearly see that they are a kind of dimensional rip or bubble."

"These spaces," I added, "appear to be some form of protective mechanism that the celestial uses to prevent interference. It is apparently possible for other beings to be caught up in them, when they appear."

"Is that what happened last time?" he asked.

Asakura answered, "The computer club president and myself got caught in the space, last time."

"You and I were just outside of it," I added. "You immediately demonstrated that you were able to traverse into it, while I found that I was not."

"Interesting," he said. "So, the computer club president keeps getting killed?"

"That is correct," I said.

"Well," he added, "we need to figure out a way to stop that from happening."

"Discovery is our ally on this mission," I said. "Time and uncertainty are the difficulties. Each particular iteration has always added a new and unexpected challenge. I strongly suspect this time will be no different in that respect."

Asakura then said, "We need to destroy the celestial before it can destroy one of us."

Koizumi smiled and remarked, "How clearly you put that."

"We've had a lot of time to reach these conclusions," she added.

- x -

Just before the time was due, Koizumi looked at me and said, "Take my hand."

"Okay," I said, taking his hand. It says a lot about his trust in me and Asakura that he was willing to take me at my word, but I think he was figuring out that he really did have a role to play here, even if it wasn't clear to him what that role was.

Asakura was preparing her weapons just behind the computer club president, and Koizumi and I were standing just outside the study when Asakura suddenly disappeared, and the celestial appeared a moment later.

"There it is," Koizumi said.

Given that Asakura was not likely going to show up in time, I decided to take charge myself. I had deduced that a phased particle gun would most likely be the best weapon to use against this creature, and I drew it through my dimensional tunnel out of my "pockets." I then began to point it at the creature, but Asakura suddenly teleported in, saying, "Not this time!"

As Asakura dashed toward the celestial, I pointed my gun down. Since I had become distracted by this action, I failed to notice how the celestial had stopped and readied itself for Asakura's attack. It struck her in the chin with a quick, slashing kick, and it made another quick slash with an arm toward her midsection, ripping her in half. I almost dropped my gun in astonishment, and I noticed Koizumi looked very shocked at this turn of events.

Meanwhile, the computer club president finally looked up from his work at the computer, obviously curious about this strange creature. I shouted at him to run away, but he ignored my warnings and soon found himself facing the melee attack of this creature, who was obviously still enraged by Asakura's threatening gesture. The male student was ignoring my command, so I queued up a teleportation sequence, but I noticed with some extreme annoyance that it wasn't going to be in time. In order to teleport across this space, I needed to complete a sequence of teleporting out of the closed space, teleporting across normal space, and then teleporting back into the close space. It added about eight hundred milliseconds of delay to my usual teleport, but I realized that the male student had perhaps two or three hundred milliseconds to dodge the attack of the celestial. Needless to say, by the time I would complete that sequence, he would already be dead.

I instead canceled the teleport sequence and prepared myself for defensive action using the pistol already in my hand. It only took about one hundred milliseconds to bring up the pistol, but aiming it and firing it would require another three hundred milliseconds, so I gave up the male student as a lost cause and hoped that shooting the celestial in the head would prove to have some useful effect on it.

My phased particle gun made some nice holes in it, and I definitely slowed it down, but it still had mobility, as it proved by turning and racing toward us after quickly finishing off the male student. I shot the celestial several times in what appeared to be its legs, but it continued moving toward us as if it suddenly realized that it could fly. It then brandished an arm toward me, and I thought this combat would surely end in my defeat until I suddenly saw a curved wall of red energy appear before me.

I shot a quick glance at Koizumi, noticing how he had closed his eyes and was concentrating. Judging from the position of this wall, it seemed to be a sphere centered on himself. The celestial reeled back in astonishment at how its arm had come apart when it contacted Koizumi's red sphere, and it almost seemed like it wanted to bellow in outrage, though it made no sound.

Having wounded it, I realized that it might become even more dangerous now than before, so I decided to bring up my last resort weapon. I pulled my plasma sword through my dimensional tunnel, sliced the celestial cleanly up the middle in half, and returned the sword to my "pockets" in one, smooth motion. I had practiced that, but I never thought I would actually need to use it.

The celestial then flew apart, and the alternate corrosive space disintegrated around us. Koizumi's red sphere was gone and, as all this was happening, Koizumi fell to his knees in shock at what he was seeing.

Asakura slowly began reintegrating her interface back to its base form, and I took a moment to check whether Koizumi had sustained any damage. Aside from our failure to carry out our mission, things had turned out okay.

Koizumi then shakily said, "Damn. You're a show off, you know that?"

I took a moment to register that remark and then realized that he was complaining about me finishing off the celestial.

"Sorry," I said, realizing that I had robbed him of his shot at a little more glory here.

"That's okay," he said, finally looking at me. He smiled and then said, "We're all still learning, here."


	15. Five

- Chapter 5

Asakura was in a state of extreme distress after that incident, and she did nothing but complain about how much stronger the celestial was this time than last time, complain that it wasn't fair, and then sometimes start sobbing, sometimes just clench her fists in anger. This was the first time I had ever felt genuinely sorry for her. She isn't this easily defeated, but she had let her guard down a little, and she knew better than to do that in combat situations. This defeat was more humiliating to her than anything else.

It wasn't surprising to me to discover after we traversed the temporal boundary again that Asakura trashed the club room, even smashing the computer to pieces and leaving the books and outfits shredded.

By the time we started getting on the bus, you wouldn't know how enraged Asakura had been by the smile on her face. Suzumiya almost canceled our plans, especially when she learned that you had come down with a fever. I encouraged her to view this trip as a chance to unwind and get away from the stress of everything that was happening at school.

She really needed to unwind, and she admitted it. Even so, she wasn't happy at all. When we started to get off the bus, she tripped and fell. When she set up the shot for the picture, the camera kept going out of focus. When we began playing that shooter game, the network kept going out on us, until Suzumiya gave that up in disgust, and we just waited while she and Asahina prepared supper for us. The food was good, but the mood at the table was grim. The only thing that went right was the Poker match, but I was thoroughly defeated very early on in that.

Since there was only six of us, and only two males, they were given one room. Suzumiya took one room for herself, Asakura and I shared a room, and Asahina had a room to herself. When I went to bathe, I found myself feeling quite uneasy, myself. It made no sense, and I rejected it, but I continued to feel it. After our baths, we assembled in the study, then moved to the dining room. Suzumiya didn't seem to want to bother with books, this time around.

We all eventually went to our bedrooms for the night. It seemed pretty obvious that Asakura did not expect this to be the last iteration. I was feeling pretty good about our chances, especially after enlisting the aid of some surprise guests who would be showing up in a few hours. Asakura knew about that, but she just sneered at me and rolled her eyes. She then said, "Just don't get in my way."

I find it interesting that Asakura can hold a grudge from one time plane to the next. It's a sign of her childishness and reckless disregard for herself and others. I would actually prefer to just let everything go, and I think it's a bit of an advantage for me that I can let myself go at least for a little while in each iteration. For humans, it's forgetfulness. In my case, it's mostly information overload. Either way, you avoid a lot of conflicts.

As I went into my mandatory standby period, I realized that my role in this particular operation was to restrain Asakura. She wouldn't be any use to us in the state she was in, and I wondered if I really could handle that responsibility. I might even have to fight with her, but I began thinking that persuasion should be enough. She had already displaced her aggressions, and, if anything, she ought to be feeling remorse, rather than anger. It would be nice to have more of a supporting role for a change, but then you leave yourself at the mercy of others when you do that.

- x -

When Asakura and I went to the dining room to meet with Koizumi, he just smiled and said, "We need to stop meeting like this."

I asked, "So, you remember what we're here to do?"

"I think so," he answered. "This is the fourth time, right?"

"Fifth," I answered. "This will be our fourth meeting, though."

He shook his head and remarked, "I can't imagine what it must be like for the computer club president to get killed five times."

"Hopefully," I said, "that won't happen."

"Yeah," he answered. "Let's keep that number to four."

"Do you remember your abilities?" Asakura asked him.

"Oh yeah," he replied. "Celestial locating, temporal detection, closed space boundary traversal, and energy projection. That last one was a bit of a surprise."

"With luck," I added, "we'll see one more surprise."

"Oh?" he asked.

"It should be possible for you to fly," I told him. "That is, assuming you can do more than just project energy."

"Oh yeah," he said. "If I can use my energy to create a personal boundary, I should be able to pick myself up with it."

"Exactly," I said.

"I should also be able to control its origin," he added, thinking for a moment. "I wonder if that's really possible, though."

"Only one way to find out," I said.

"We still have fifteen minutes to prepare," he said. "You sure you'll be ready by then?"

"That should be just enough time," I said, giving a signal through the psych line to bring in our guests.

I had arranged for three others I had discovered in Koizumi's organization who were willing to listen to my story about Koizumi and were willing to help in this situation. Koizumi spent some time explaining how his powers worked to them, what they could expect to encounter, and what they were expected to do in this operation. It was all pretty straight-forward, or at least, it should have been.

- x -

At the onset, Asahina awoke and asked what we were doing out of bed, this conveniently gave Asakura something to do: calming Asahina and assuring her that it was just some people who happened to be traveling by and appeared to be lost. The computer club president saw some of this happening and then suddenly decided that he wanted to look at spare parts that I had left in the workshop rather than toy with the server. I kept my eye on that until I noticed that the entire property was suddenly engulfed in a large alternate space.

I rushed over to Koizumi to see if he needed assistance, but he had already led the other three young men out to the front deck. Koizumi gathered himself in his large red sphere and shot up into the sky, and the other three shortly did the same.

I noticed that they had discovered a human-size celestial floating near the house about fifty feet up in the air, and were making short work of it, using their spheres to cut it to pieces. They then descended, and they began speaking as if they had accomplished their mission, but I pointed out to them that the space had still not disintegrated.

Koizumi then had a terrified look on his face, and he exclaimed, "Oh hell! There's another one in the house!"

The four of them then rushed into the workshop and discovered another celestial. They finished it off, but not before they discovered the body of the computer club president, crumpled up against the wall again. The alternate space then disintegrated, and we were left with a serious problem. I quickly decided to have some of my scouts come and carry away the extra members of our group, and I ordered Asakura to erase Asahina's memory of the events she had witnessed. It wouldn't do to have her telling the police about that. The scout units conveyed the extra members of Koizumi's organization into town, where they were told to await transportation, which I arranged via Kimidori.

- x -

At every turn, we had been defeated, but we were learning. This last lesson was that the entities were not limited to just one, so Koizumi and his organization were essential to keeping that under control. There was a lot of debate about it, but it was eventually decided that we needed to inform them at the earliest available opportunity, convenient or not. It wouldn't be enough to just inform them right before the event. In fact, I raised the point that the next event might even occur earlier. I think my superiors were finally realizing that it wasn't safe to assume anything about the next iteration, and they scrambled to make plans and more plans in case those failed.

My hope was to simply record everything we knew about Koizumi and his organization, impress upon him that he needed to convey this information to his associates, and to prepare in case he failed to complete his part of the operation.

In this iteration, the police hadn't neglected to notice how the destruction of property at the school seemed to coincidentally precede the death of the computer club president, but they eventually dismissed it as unrelated. They had no way of knowing how Suzumiya had acquired the computer, and Suzumiya didn't inform them. Koizumi and Asahina had kept quiet about that, as well, so I felt as if I were in their debt. I continued doing nothing more than read while the others were stressed nearly to their breaking point by this situation. I think I even saw Suzumiya break down and weep a few times.

Suzumiya is a smart girl, but it continually amazes me how she can never seem to learn from her mistakes. It takes a lot of effort to change even her subconscious mind. I'd hate to try and have to change her conscious mind. I think I can trust her to change the right way, though. This whole situation seems to prove that. Because of her obstinacy and sincerity, I think we were able to learn everything we needed to know about the unknown nature of her ability and the way we could manage it. I don't think it's a coincidence that Koizumi just happens to be a part of that.

For all his distress over the death of his fellow student and the subsequent investigation, I think Koizumi very much enjoyed even this iteration. He just let his guard down for a moment, and that had cost him. Maybe he hadn't realized that he was a soldier and that this was a war we were fighting. In combat, you can't let your guard down for even a moment, because the enemy is waiting for that moment to strike.

No one could go to class on Monday, and that wasn't surprising. Even Koizumi, who would never miss class if he could help it, skipped that day. He may have sensed that this wasn't over, or maybe he was just too exhausted with emotions. I know these unfamiliar feelings were beginning to have a toll on me.

Late that night, I listened in on Suzumiya's usual call to Koizumi.

"My brain is totally fried," she admitted. "My nerves are a wreck. That whole situation was just one huge mess."

"Well," he answered, "don't let it get you down. Tomorrow is another day."

"Yeah..." She sighed long and hard, and she added, "Man. I wished I hadn't dragged you into this. I feel really terrible about everything you went through."

"Ridiculous," he said. "I had a good time, even in spite of all the bad things that happened."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't have missed it for the world."

Suzumiya laughed, and then she added, "You're nuts."

"Maybe I am," he admitted.

There was a lot of scrambling and debate over what this meant, but I knew what it meant. This meant that Suzumiya was finally regretting having excused Tsuruya, Taniguchi, Kunikida, and you. A lot of my associates were convinced that it meant Koizumi had just been excused, but that was just the panic talking.

- x -

We once more returned to Saturday morning, and I immediately set out to deliver a midnight message to Koizumi, arranging a rendezvous in the park. He wasn't surprised, but he was a little confused until I explained everything he needed to know. I wasn't keen on taking any more chances, and I felt certain that we could expedite the situation this way.

Sure enough, Tsuruya had been invited again. Taniguchi wasn't having any "feelings" we needed to worry about. Kunikida had deftly avoided an argument with his mother, and you were mysteriously feeling healthy. Surprisingly, Suzumiya was regretting having prohibited books, and she decided instead to prohibit computers. That meant that the computer club president was no longer needed, and we didn't feel obligated to invite him.

We all gathered for the bus that afternoon, but Koizumi informed us that he would be along a little later. He had some other business he needed to take care of, first. The others were a little disappointed, but not me. For the first time since this whole business started, I finally felt like I could relax. I spent the entire bus ride, reading. I kept getting notifications about Koizumi and his progress, but I just ignored them. Some things are better left to others.

- x -

You know I'm not writing this for acknowledgement or because I feel some obligation to explain all this. You ought to know full well what happened at that point, so maybe it would be appropriate to just leave it at this. On the other hand, it might be useful to you to see an alien's point of view on things. You always complain about books that lack "closure," and perhaps you've forgotten what happened. I do happen to know how damnably forgetful you are at times, so here goes:

When we arrived at our destination, we had a group picture, and it was decided that we should have another one the next day before our departure, as it did feel a little empty without Koizumi there. When we came to the house, Asahina went inside to prepare supper, but the rest of us spent an hour touring the house, both outside and in. It was a pretty impressive structure, and it would be shame for us to not really appreciate it.

We then went to eat, and it was the most delicious meal any of us had eaten in a long time, myself included. During the meal, we kept getting interrupted by Tsuruya and her silly jokes, but Asakura and Suzumiya always had a witty comeback. Koizumi joined us about halfway into our supper, and we warmly welcomed him with his fair share of the yakiniku. I think he probably enjoys it even more than Suzumiya.

We then had a Poker match, and I did extremely well, although not as well as Suzumiya, who completely cleaned out the males. All in all, it was the most fun I've ever had playing that game. I swear I didn't cheat, not even once in all the previous iterations. It was a good thing, too. I'm sure this is probably just superstition, but I think if I had cheated in Poker, even once, this situation probably wouldn't have turned out so favorably. You can at least allow me this one superstition.

Koizumi then got into some silly argument with the rest of you males over exactly what had happened during that Poker match, but it was just the usual idiocy I've come to expect from you humans. We then divided up the rooms, had our baths, and enjoyed some light reading in the study. Everyone seemed to enjoy that, even Suzumiya. We then retired to bed.

Around three in the morning, I went to the kitchen to prepare myself some tea, and I was surprised to see Suzumiya there, doing the same. While she prepared the tea, we softly chatted about nothing for a while, then went to the table to sit.

"You know," she started, looking down at her cup of tea, "I've been starting to feel a little bad about how I treated that guy. You know? The computer club president?"

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," she softly admitted. "I don't know why, but I get this feeling like I've really wronged him, and I really ought to make it up to him. It's strange, you know?"

"Yes," I said.

"I mean," she added, "I don't really feel guilty or anything like that. I just kind of feel like I owe him a favor. You know?"

"Okay," I said.

"Do aliens ever feel like this at times?"

"Sometimes."

"Yeah, I guess you would. It's only natural, right? It's just my sense of duty."

"Yes."

"You know about duty, right?"

"I think so."

"I'd hate to get into trouble over that incident. I mean, if word got around about how I'd acquired that computer, what would people say?"

"Just words."

She then laughed and said, "Yeah, that's right." She then took a sip of tea and said, "Why should I get upset over some words people might say. Words can never hurt me."

"Indeed."

Yes. It's ridiculous that something as silly as words should frighten someone; someone like me, for example. I can't help it. I am afraid of books. I know it's all just words, but that doesn't really help.

- Fin

- x -

- Extra

- An unusual meeting

Kyon and Haruhi in class on the first day. Kyon turns to Haruhi and starts a conversation.

Kyon: Were you serious about all that? Aliens and time travelers?

Haruhi: Yeah. So?

Kyon: Just curious.

Haruhi: You of all people should know that I never kid about things like that.

Kyon: ...

Haruhi: What?

Kyon: (very confused) Do I know you?

- x -

- Another unusual meeting

Kyon leads Haruhi into the literature club room.

Kyon: Okay, Miss Suzumiya. Meet Miss Yuki Nagato.

Haruhi: Hello there.

Yuki: Hi.

Kyon: She's a self-proclaimed alien.

Haruhi: Really?

Yuki: Really.

Haruhi: Whoa! That's so cool!

Kyon: Isn't it?

Haruhi: So, can you do funny alien stuff like shoot beams at people or levitate or...?

Yuki: No.

Haruhi: No?

Yuki: No.

Haruhi: Okay... What's your culture like? Do you have a cool language and weird set of customs? Is your home planet like all freaky and stuff?

Yuki: I have no culture. As for words, they have no use to me outside of communications with humans. My home planet is Earth.

Haruhi: ...

Kyon: Pretty cool, huh?

Haruhi: You've gotta be kidding me. Isn't there something alien-like...? You know, alien-ish that you can tell me?

Yuki: Please refer those questions to my subordinate.

Haruhi: Who is that?

Yuki: Ryoko Asakura.

Haruhi: She's an alien, too?

Yuki: Yes.

Haruhi: You're messing with me, right?

- x -

- The interview

Haruhi, Kyon, Yuki, and Mikuru in the club room.

Haruhi: All right, fine. Let's talk.

Kyon: Okay. Now, we're getting somewhere.

Haruhi: (to Mikuru) How do you stay in such good shape?

Mikuru: Um... I don't know. I guess it's because I eat right and exercise.

Haruhi: Any particular dieting tips you can give?

Mikuru: Well... Avoid eating too much or too little all at once. Moderation is key.

Haruhi: Why did you pick this particular high school to go to?

Mikuru: I guess... It was mainly because it was so nice and conveniently near where I live.

Haruhi: You live nearby?

Mikuru: Yeah. It's about a corner or two away from the food station.

Kyon: ...

Haruhi: I thought you looked familiar...

Mikuru: What?

Haruhi: You're a time traveler, aren't you?

Mikuru: (nervous) What?

Haruhi: Yeah. I knew it wasn't a coincidence.

Mikuru: How did you...?

Haruhi: Well, Kyon here doesn't talk at all like I imagine someone would from the future. But you?

Mikuru: How did I give it away?

Haruhi: Your first mistake was saying that high school is nice. Okay, only parents think stupid things like that.

Kyon: Parents and geeks.

Haruhi: Right. A beautiful girl would never give away good dieting tips, but I can let that go. But then you start saying things like "a corner or two away from" and "food station"...

Kyon: Plus, she did say things to me like "this era" and "this time plane," so...

Mikuru: ...

Haruhi: All right. Now, we're almost set.

Kyon: Almost?

Haruhi: Well, since Mikuru is our time traveler, we'll need a new mascot.

Kyon: Good luck, there.

- x -

- Nitpicking the imaginary author

Author: Here you go.

Proofreader: Fifty pages?

Author: It's the same word count as "Homework," so give me a break.

Proofreader: Minus about a thousand words...

Author: You think it's easy writing this way?

Proofreader: You think editing this is going to be a picnic?

Author: ... Touche.

Proofreader: I'm starting to regret this.

- x -

- Brainstorming with an imaginary author

Author: So, we've gotten the Endless Eight/Remote Island Syndrome/Mysterique Sign send up done, and we just did a weird Disappearance/Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody satire. What's next?

Proofreader: We're seriously running out of things to make fun of.

Author: As long as we don't do some weird Country-Western theme, I'm okay with anything.

Proofreader: Anything?

Author: ...

Proofreader: Because I have this Scooby-Doo homage I've been sitting on.

Author: I'm almost afraid to ask...

Proofreader: No, see. It's perfect. Koizumi is Fred, Mikuru is Daphne, Yuki is Velma, Kyon is Shaggy, and Haruhi is Scooby.

Author: I can see my way of thinking is starting to rub off on you.

Proofreader: You know how the first creepy person is always some red herring, and the clues always predictably add up to some simplistic conclusion?

Author: Yeah?

Proofreader: It might be fun to do a Haruhi version of that.

Author: I'm having a hard time picturing Haruhi as Scooby-Doo.

Proofreader: She fits pretty well, actually. Scooby nearly always leads the gang. Scooby almost always messes up their plans in some way that resolves everything. Scooby is probably a bit more aware of what's going on around him than Haruhi in the original storyline.

Author: What would constitute a Haruhi version of a Scooby Snack?

Proofreader: I think Haruhi's brain is a Scooby Snack.

Author: That might explain her powers.

Proofreader: That's pretty good. I'll have to remember that.

- x -


	16. Ripples

The Origins of Haruhi - Domestic Designs

- x -

- Foreword

In this next volume, Haruhi Suzumiya learns about the existence of aliens, time travelers, and espers, but she gets confused over which one is which. This is due to the fact that Yuki Nagato and Ryoko Asakura were forbidden from revealing their true nature to her, so they began deceiving her. Or rather, Asakura began deceiving Haruhi, and that apparently made no difference, either. Asakura was under the impression that this situation would be more interesting, and it was. I think that was more because she was starting to go insane, than anything else. Asakura is, in spite of what she thinks, a very intelligent person. Her capacity for retaining awareness of previous time planes would be on a level approaching one of Frank Herbert's abominations, so it's not really all that surprising that she would start to lose her sanity.

Speaking of Asakura, Yuki has told me that the next volume is ready, but Asakura has been lobbying hard to forbid her from conveying it to me. That has nothing to do with this volume, other than to assure you that my confused reality hasn't finished being sculpted by this point. I asked Yuki about the events of this volume, and she assured me that they did indeed happen this way, in spite of my apparent inability to record those events properly. When immersed in madness, my ability to detail and remain coherent comes into question. It seems that hanging around with Haruhi makes me go a little soft in the brain, and perhaps her inability to write properly begins infecting me. I sure hope that isn't true, as writing is one of the few things in life that I really enjoy.

Looking back, it seems as though Haruhi always chooses me for reasons related to sex, and I also asked Yuki about that. She assured me that that isn't true, although it did take nine time planes for that to finally not happen. Knowing Haruhi, that's not all that surprising, but it does seem like a terrible waste of her abilities. Surely, she has better things to do than to arrange romances with me. Yeah. It's also terribly depressing that I can never seem to choose that kind of thing for myself. At least, in this volume, I can console myself that it was the inevitable result of long familiarity. This was, after all, a time plane where I had already come to know Haruhi for about two years before I met the others.

In this time plane, my mother was the beneficiary of a windfall from relatives in the US, and that caused us to move to the "right" side of the tracks, rather than where I would normally end up. It meant a higher standard of living for me, although it meant the huge disadvantage of having to live near Haruhi. It also meant the even worse disadvantage of exposing me to a more comfortable, less contented life through my middle school years, which apparently resulted in me becoming a frequent runaway and generic trouble maker. This helped Haruhi identify with me, and she even looks almost normal in comparison to me, at times. The other thing about this situation was that my mother had put off getting remarried because of all this social commotion, and that perhaps contributed to my delinquent behavior.

I have to admit that there are advantages in knowing Haruhi this well before entering high school. Her rudeness is less surprising, her subtle gestures and hints are easier to recognize, and her dishonesty is a little more obvious. The disadvantage is that she also knows me well, so she does a better job of hiding her less agreeable traits from me. She seems more neighborly, but that only makes the consequences more drastic for her when things go truly wrong. She is more gracious and intimate, but she is also more pushy and impudent. I detected some of these traits in myself in this story, at times, but that could be because of her influence over me. What's probably most disturbing about this story is how often I find myself wondering where she ends and I begin. This story is also disturbingly familiar in ways that make my reality seem like a cheap imitation. For example, in this story, Asakura actually has good reasons for acting as she does. I'm still trying to figure out what's going on with her in my own reality.

- x -

- Chapter 1: Ripples

If someone asked you whether you would choose to go to high school, the idea of even being asked is so laughable that it almost pains me to think of it. Yeah. I chose to go to high school. Just like the way I chose to be lectured by a gym teacher and have lots of pointless homework. The idea of free will being involved is like saying clouds choose to be the shape they are. It's so stupid that only a parent or a teacher would even think about it. But even the idea of choosing high school is less stupid than a world that has aliens or espers or time travelers.

If you want people to look at you funny or start lots of whispered rumors that make other people look at you and laugh, just try bringing up the subject of the occult or even just some slightly unusual abilities. You won't get much sympathy from me, although I do have a lot of experience in that phenomenon. Vicariously, I should hasten to add. Haruhi Suzumiya has a knack for making herself the subject of a lot of whispered rumors, and she drags me down along with her. That had been my experience through two years of middle school, anyway. She thinks that because we live near each other and that we go to the same class that she can just take me for granted. Once high school came along, I decided to pull a fast one and attend North High. She wasn't expecting that.

Not that I dislike the idea of the occult world secretly running this world. Stupid though it is, it actually makes a lot more sense to me than some boring group of bankers deciding everyone's fate. Yeah. I firmly believe that this world is controlled by aliens or something who keep their existence a secret from most of the gullible world. It's really the only explanation for how messed up everything is. I mean, do you really think there's this much confusion and animosity inherent in human beings? Really? I don't think so. We human beings as a species are far too stupid to perpetuate such a conveniently evil world as this. All the war, famine, disease: It makes no sense to me outside the context of a deliberate will, inflicting it all.

They probably enjoy it, too. Whoever it is, they probably have a lot of fun reeking this misery on us pathetic humans. They especially love it that we blame each other. I could definitely see that. This whole system of doing mindlessly repetitive academics in your teen years was probably their idea, too. I hope they're getting a good laugh out of all this, because then at least someone will be enjoying this mess.

Whoever came up with this probably thought it might be especially funny if human beings made some sort of contractual pledge to each other in spite of how much we're forced to hate each other. That is to say, marriage. Marriage makes about as much sense in this world as comparing perfumes while shoveling a pig sty. It's a nice gesture, but come on. Who do you really think you're fooling? Even if a miracle occurred and you found two people who could stand each other long enough to stay married, the world itself would inevitably rip them apart with its constant ugliness, its delusions of superiority, and its barrage of envious calumnies.

I realize that this is cynical and simplistic, but I think it accurately reflects the state I was in when I began thinking about how soon my mother's wedding was coming up. It's easy to dismiss unpleasant thoughts, but the less you avoid them, the more you can learn about yourself as a person. That first week of class, I had some of the most unpleasant thoughts I've ever had in my life. It was made all the more unpleasant by the fact that it should have been a nice, enjoyable experience. The first few steps should set the tone for the coming year, which would dictate how my whole high school experience went.

I was sitting with Taniguchi and Kunikida, eating my lunch, when the subject of my mother's wedding came up. It was starting to look like I would be obligated to invite them, in spite of avoiding the subject several times.

"It's going to be in June," I informed them.

Kunikida asked, "So, it's coming up in just about a month?"

"This is what you've been moping about?" Taniguchi added.

"It's going to be boring," Kunikida answered him for me.

"Oh, yeah," Taniguchi agreed. "No doubt about that."

"So, you're not going to go?" I asked, daring to hope.

"I'll show up," Kunikida assured me. "You just name the place and the time."

"Me too, buddy," Taniguchi added. "I mean, how often do you get to see a wedding?"

Yeah. They were talking about it like I was throwing a party. Sheesh. Taniguchi was probably thinking he could pick up some chicks there. And Kunikida...

He said, "I kinda get what Kyon's going through."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "A wedding is all about letting the world know what you really think. This sort of thing is like a deliberate provocation. It's like they're just begging you to make something of it."

"That's right," I said. "It's like they're drawing a line in the dirt and saying, 'I dare you to step across this.'"

"So, what are you going to do about it?" Taniguchi asked me.

"What can he do?" Kunikida replied. "It's his mother for heaven's sake. You don't tell your mother what's what."

"Yeah," I admitted. "I'm already in it because I decided to come here."

"What's your old man say about it?" Kunikida asked.

"He's cool with it," I replied.

"That's rough," Taniguchi then said. "It's like you're skating on thin ice already. You can't afford to make waves, now."

"It sucks," I added.

"All that aside," Taniguchi said, "you should be happy for her. It's her wedding, not yours."

"Yeah..." I said, hoping they would drop it.

Taniguchi knows from my reputation that it's not a good idea to keep pestering me, and Kunikida knows from experience when to drop a subject.

- x -

Later that afternoon, I was sitting at a coffee shop near the train station, dreading the thought of having to return home. I love my mother, but she can be a real pain at times. As I began thinking about the kind of conversation we might have, I began dreading the thought of her suddenly calling me, so I decided to give her a call. It beats being interrupted in the middle of a situation. I explained to her that I was thinking of spending the night at a friend's place and that I would call when I had it figured out.

I then put my head on my arms and thought about it all again. It seemed childish to be upset over something like a wedding, but I didn't want to think about it. I knew I would go, but that just made the thought more upsetting. Why do women make such a drama out of everything? I don't know. Men can never be too ambitious, though women always complain you never spend enough time with them. A man can never start an argument, but when a woman does it, that's somehow perfectly justified. Women love to talk constantly, but then they complain that you never tell them anything. Women love money to the extent that they hoard it obsessively, and then they have the nerve to call men greedy. Women pretend to be shy and retiring, but then when you get them alone, they lord over you like you're their slave.

I was beginning to think that my too, too solid flesh would melt when Ryoko Asakura appeared. She asked me:

"You going to be okay?"

"Huh?" I said.

She explained, "You looked like you were really down, there."

"It's nothing," I answered. "Just thinking about running away."

"Again?" she asked.

Okay. Don't get the wrong idea. This is just Ryoko and her usual craziness. She has this idea that she knows me, though this is the first time we've ever really spoken. I know about her from class and her double-A-plus rating from Taniguchi. The fact that she sits behind me doesn't really help.

She then asked, "You're still coming to school, right?"

"Have we met before or something?" I asked her.

"Oh," she said, finally realizing. "Sorry, I keep getting confused. Just call me silly."

"I don't see how I can avoid it," I answered her. "I mean, if I don't go to school, they'll just track me down."

"Trouble with your girlfriend?" she asked.

"Just some family squabble," I replied. "It's no big deal."

"I get it," she said. "Yeah, families are a pain, huh?"

"It's my mother's wedding," I added. "I just can't wrap my head around it."

Ryoko then sat down across from me and softly asked, "She isn't married?"

"No," I explained. "My parents broke up when I was young. It was kind of messy."

"Money problems?" she guessed.

"No," I answered. "Actually, Mom has had the weirdest luck with money. It's kind of strange."

She looked around for a moment and then said, "I don't want to cause you any more problems. Maybe I should leave you alone."

"You care if you cause me problems?" I asked, amused by the thought, after having dealt with Haruhi for so long. Seeing a beautiful girl like Ryoko definitely reminds me of her.

"Yeah," she answered. "I mean, I am your class president, after all."

"Okay," I said.

I have to admit, Ryoko makes the idea of school fun, and I realized that a guy might endure a thousand weddings if it meant a few pleasant years living with a girl like her. I was just being annoying and childish, as usual.

"What's this about a wedding?" she asked.

I replied, "Well, my mother's getting remarried soon."

"I see," she said, smirking in an odd way.

"What?" I asked.

She answered, "You resent this new guy thinking he can replace your old man."

At first, it seemed like the stupidest thing anyone had ever said, but then I slowly realized that she was exactly right. Along with that realization, I became even more depressed at how childish I had been.

"I have some money if you need it," she offered.

"No, that's okay," I answered. "I'm fine."

"Okay," she said. "Just making sure."

"Thanks, anyway," I said, trying to present a cheerful appearance. "I hope I'm not keeping you from anything important."

"No," she answered. "I'm fine, too."

"All right," I said.

She then stood up and touched me on the shoulder, saying, "You want to go do something fun?"

"Sure," I answered. "What do you consider fun?"

"I don't know," she said, playfully musing. "Sit around. Watch TV."

"Sounds good," I said, thinking that this was more like it.

"You sure you don't mind hanging around with me?" she asked.

"You think your folks could put up with me?" I asked back.

She frowned and answered, "I think I can manage. Just promise to invite me to your mother's wedding."

"It's a deal," I answered.

- x -

Here's a scene I'd always dreamed of: a guy and girl just getting along like two good friends. Yeah, right. People look at us and they go through this funny metamorphosis. They suddenly look at me like they want to strangle me, but then their expression softens into a kind of annoyed realization. They then sneer as if almost sympathetic. The reason for this transformation is because I must appear to be like this girl's idiot cousin or brother-in-law. There's absolutely no way a guy like me could ever be in a relationship with a girl this attractive. And, honestly, I rather like this attitude.

Ryoko is kind of like a younger sister, or rather, she's like what a younger sister should be. She's playful and witty, although she's not so witty that she makes you feel stupid. She's charming and funny, and she loves to just be social. I can't even imagine her in a romantic situation. I try to, but then it just feels a bit like I'm raping her with my mind, and I immediately clear my head of it.

We went to her apartment and talked about a lot of things. She has a lot to say, but she really listens, and she doesn't just nod her head when I talk. I told her my little rant about women, and she added a few characteristics that she hates, herself. For a moment, I began thinking she was describing Haruhi, and then my phone rang. Bizarrely enough, it was Haruhi, as if butting in because she felt like people were talking about her.

"What's up?" I said, answering the phone.

"Where are you at?" she asked.

"At a friend's," I replied. "Just sitting here, doing homework."

"Liar," she immediately accused me.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just watching TV."

"Have you had supper yet?"

"No."

"You want to come over?"

"I think I'll pass."

"Running away from home again, huh?"

I sighed, and Ryoko smiled at me encouragingly, apparently aware of my conversation.

"It's my mom," I explained. "She's been driving me nuts, lately."

"That sucks," Haruhi said. "When do you think you'll be coming home?"

"I don't know. Maybe a few days. We'll see."

"People will talk, you know."

"About what?"

"You're already the black sheep of the family. At this rate, you might get disowned."

"And that's bad?"

There was a long pause, and then she said, "Yeah... I'll talk to you later."

"Bye," I said, then put away the phone.

"Your girlfriend?" Ryoko asked.

"That was Princess," I answered. "I mean, that was Haruhi Suzumiya."

I had forgotten for a moment that Ryoko didn't really know everything about me, or at least I didn't think she knew everything about me.

"Someone you know?" she asked.

I answered, "We live across the street from each other, so..."

"Oh, okay," she said.

"We've known each other for a couple years, now," I added.

She asked, "And you call her 'Princess?'"

"Yeah," I replied. I then apparently forgot whether Ryoko should know all this already and asked, "Don't you think it fits?"

She took a long moment to think about that, then said, "Just... You don't hear people use that term every day."

I then said, "It's kind of silly, I admit. I do use it mockingly, but it really suits her."

"She's stuck up?" Ryoko asked.

"She's really adorable when she gets that annoyed scowl on her face," I said, smiling at the thought.

"She is your girlfriend, huh?" Ryoko observed.

"I do have a thing for her, I admit."

"People sometimes call me 'Princess.' Just not in that way."

"Oh..."

We watched TV for a few more moments, but then the program came back on. That always seems like an invitation to start talking.

"I have a lot of friends," she added, as if a little annoyed by that fact.

"Must be nice," I said.

"It isn't easy," she casually complained. "Usually, it's a lot of work just being friendly."

"It is?" I asked.

"I learn a lot, though. It's definitely worthwhile. I mean, I can't imagine how people get by with just a few friends. That would drive me crazy."

"Haruhi is the complete opposite."

"She is?"

"She loves academics, and she makes good grades, but I don't think she really fits in at school. She has a hard time making friends."

All this is very strange, considering how attractive she is. I keep thinking it should add up, but I just can't figure it out.

"With anyone but you, that is," Ryoko added.

"I guess you're right," I said. "In my case, I think it's just because we're neighbors. I can't imagine getting along with her so well if we weren't."

She then asked, "It speeds the process along, huh?"

I admitted, "I make friends in whatever way is convenient, I suppose."

"You suppose?" she asked, really hitting that word.

"I suppose," I answered, likewise. "I mean, I don't go out of my way to make friends."

"How did you become friends in the first place?" she asked.

I replied, "She came over and shoved some food in my face. She said it was the obligatory custom that her mother was forcing her to do just to be friendly."

"So, that wasn't her idea?" she asked, somewhat quizzical. Or maybe she was surprised. I forget, but it seems like an important detail, now.

I answered, "She really hated me to begin with. Well, we didn't exactly get along."

Ryoko then turned away, and there was this awkward moment where I was wondering whether I had said something offensive.

"She kept coming over, though," I added. "I guess she got used to the idea of having me around."

"That's strange," Ryoko said, finally turning back to me and smiling.

I took a look around, glanced at my watch and thought briefly about how late it was getting.

I asked, "Your parents work late or something?"

"I live by myself," she answered.

"That seems kind of scary," I said.

"It's no big deal," she casually answered. "I have friendly neighbors, and we look after each other."

"How do you pay for this?" I asked.

"I have my connections," she softly admitted.

"You do?"

"Like I said. I have a lot of friends."

What was strange was that I didn't feel like she was bragging. She sounded more like she was mildly complaining, and it made me glad that I was hearing it. I had the brief impression of being a therapist listening to someone go on about their problems. I took another look around at her apartment. It was nice, but I got the distinct impression that it was very spartan.

"This is nice," I remarked. "You just moved in?"

"I haven't done much with it," she admitted.

"It doesn't really have that lived-in look."

"I probably should do something with it."

"You sure it's okay for me to stay? I mean, people will talk."

"I don't care. Actually, the more people talk, the more I learn about them."

"That so?"

- x -

Hanging around with Ryoko is like suddenly moving up in the world. It reminded me of that exciting time when me, my mom, and my little sister moved out of our aunt's place and into our current house with my mom's boyfriend. Everything just seemed shiny and new, like riding around in a new car. Ryoko is fun, and I don't mean that in some vague, fuzzy way. She is literally fun. She likes playing with everything. She would talk about guys she likes, and she would play little word games with their names, challenging me to come up with something better. She would then pull out a doll and play a little pretend. Then she would start playfully scolding me like a mother. Okay, that was a little weird, but she even made that fun.

She brought out supper, and we were then joined by a short, glasses-wearing girl by the name of Yuki Nagato. As we had something to eat, Ryoko entertained us with some funny anecdotes about Yuki that I found suspicious, though Yuki never denied them. Yuki didn't talk much, though she appeared to listen intently, as Ryoko and I had another long conversation about nothing important.

Frankly, it was starting to get a little annoying how casual and fun this girl can be. That didn't stop her from demanding that I do my homework, though she said it in such a nice, casual way that I don't think I could have resisted had I tried.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"Miss Nagato?" she answered. "She's a neighbor of mine. We hang out a lot."

"Okay," I said. I hadn't felt comfortable asking in front of Yuki, and Yuki hadn't said anything about herself other than her name.

Ryoko explained, "She lives a couple floors above me."

"She isn't exactly the talkative type," I observed.

"You'd be surprised," Ryoko said, "but then people aren't always what they seem."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Here I am, doing my homework."

"If you want to stay here, you'll have to," she said in a not-quite-threatening way.

"So," I asked, "what surprises do you have? I know. You'll turn out to be the type who likes to party, right?"

She answered, "You'd think that, but I've been trying to settle down, lately."

Lately? I took a good look at her, but I just couldn't picture her as just having settled down. She is way too young for that.

"Actually," she softly added, "it's difficult to talk about."

"You had a difficult childhood?" I asked.

She grimly answered, "I guess you could put it that way."

I laughed and admitted, "I can't quite connect what you're saying."

"Okay," she said, giving me an odd look. "Well... Do you believe in reincarnation?"

"Do you?" I asked.

"I didn't used to," she answered.

"But you do now?" I said, prompting something in the way of a confession.

"The thing is," she explained, "it doesn't work the way people think it does."

"How does it work?" I asked.

She replied, "Every time you're reborn, you end up in the same exact time and body, but the rest of the world is just slightly different."

I think my face must have surprised her, because she looked a little surprised at my reaction to this bizarre notion of hers.

She insisted, "It sounds crazy. I know, but that's how it seems to work."

I asked, "So, you know when major events are going to happen?"

"Like I said," she answered, "I really don't know. It's just plain weird."

"I don't suppose you remember what it's like specifically," I said, hoping she would go along with that, at least.

"Oh yeah," she said. "I remember every detail. That's what's weird. Most people can't remember things like that."

"For example?"

"Okay... For example, we always talk about something really weird. It's something that bothers me, but then you always give me great advice that I can't help but follow."

This was a little awkward. I always know this extremely beautiful girl in every world? And we talk?

"We always have a conversation like this?" I asked.

"Not really," she replied. "Sometimes, I'll just ask for advice. It isn't always this situation."

"Interesting," I said.

"Yeah," she agreed. "I wonder if this just repeats forever."

"I hope not," I sincerely answered.

"Yeah."

"That would be awkward."

"I'd have to start wondering if I can really trust you."

I then thought seriously for a moment about what she was saying. It sounded like the most bizarre thing I'd ever heard in my life, but she had conveyed it to me as if it were the most normal thing in the world for her. I couldn't help believing what she was saying, but my mind kept telling me that she must be completely nuts. I then remembered what she was saying before, and I added it up.

I said, "I think I see what you're saying. You're saying you used to party a lot in a previous life."

"Exactly," she softly answered, touching my arm for a moment.

"You do a lot of drugs?" I asked.

She admitted, "In my first life, I did a lot of drugs. It was crazy."

"Wow," I said. "I just can't picture that at all."

"I can't either," she said, "but it happened."

"And then I came along and dragged you out of that?" I guessed.

"No," she answered. "By the time we met, I'd already dropped that habit. Of course, you were middle aged by then."

"What was I like?" I asked.

She replied, "You were very cyan by then."

"Cyan?" I asked, not quite sure I'd heard her correctly.

She explained, "People are like colors. At least, that's the way I see them."

"Okay," I said, thinking about some weird cults I had encountered from time to time. "That's a little weird, but I've heard worse."

"It's true, though," she insisted. "Take me, for example. You look at me and you see someone kind of blue, right?"

"I guess so."

"As I get older, I'm becoming more and more red."

"So, you're destined to be a party girl, huh?"

"That's not it. It's more like the way you perceive the relationship between your will and nature."

"And red would be...?"

"Red would be a preference for asserting your will absolutely over nature. Blue would be the opposite of that."

Red and blue. I thought about this for a moment, then asked, "What would green be?"

She answered, "Green would be a preference for leaving everything as it is with nothing being dominant over anything else."

"I see," I said, just to be nice. I didn't really want to think about what cyan might be, but it hit me then that I would like to be that color if that was what it really meant. I was a little annoyed with myself for thinking that, but I can't always control what I think.

"This is just a simplification," she added. "I really see people in a sphere of colors, where I guess you'd say the Z axis is shades of gray."

"So, what am I right now?" I asked.

She replied, "You were definitely red as a kid, right?"

"Sounds about right."

"Yeah. So, you're like a dirty brownish color right now."

This conversation was so bizarre that I briefly thought she was talking about my skin, but then I remembered what these colors were really supposed to mean. I then had a flash of a rainbow of people with all different colors, and that made my mind reel a little, thinking that this is how she would see people while walking down a busy sidewalk or whatever.

"Is that weird?" she asked.

"No," I answered, "it makes sense."

She then casually added, "I have lived three whole lifetimes in addition to this one."

"And you remember every detail?" I asked, seriously doubting that part.

"Yeah, but I have to have a context or it just becomes a huge blur of information."

"I can imagine."

- x -

Later that evening, Ryoko had found me a sleeping bag to use in the living room while she retired to the bedroom. I slept for a few hours, but I awoke with the odd impression of being devoured by a rainbow. Somehow, the rainbow had come alive and was chasing me. I then awoke, remembered where I was, and calmed down.

I then had a brief impression of Ryoko as a party girl, and I think I almost threw up in my mouth a bit. That was just too bizarre, but then Ryoko herself is definitely a bit of a crackpot. I then realized that every crackpot psychic on TV probably was at least a little like Ryoko. It wouldn't surprise me if they were all just fun people who loved attention and craved a little company. Telling people their future was just an excuse to socialize in some odd way. I had always thought it funny or creepy, but now it just seemed really sad that people could be reduced to that.

"Can't sleep?" she asked, suddenly appearing just outside her bedroom door.

"It's a strange place," I responded, "so I usually can't get more than about four hours of sleep."

She then smirked and said, "This explains why you're always asleep in class."

I frowned and stated, "I don't always run away, you know."

"Just when things get tense at home, huh?" she guessed.

Things are always tense at home. I'm not sure why, but it makes me grateful for school. I can at least escape from it for a little while. It's a bit like Haruhi, though. Haruhi is always strangely tense, and it seems like she takes it out on me. I feel strangely turned on by it, but I always hate myself that she has that effect on me. I sometimes feel like I should be close to her, but then her face becomes like a wall. I keep telling myself that there's no way a really cute girl like her could possibly like me.

It's a bit of the same thing with home. My home is way too nice. It doesn't really feel like I belong there. Everything is really nice and really clean and really spacious. The space is liberating, but it also feels like the house is mocking me for being lazy. Everything seems like it's two or three steps too far away. The space and the walls seem a little stifling, like how living with that Yuki girl must feel even in a really nice apartment.

"Could I ask you something strange?" I asked.

"Go ahead," she answered, cheerfully.

I was briefly annoyed that she could be cheerful, even at two in the morning, but then I asked, "Is life always so boring?"

She answered, "Yeah... No, that just happened one time."

"When was that?" I asked.

"That second world," she replied, looking very disgusted. "That one was dreadful. I really hated that world."

"Did you become a billionaire or something?" I asked.

"What?" she said. "No. It's not about how much money you have."

"It isn't?"

"No. What makes life interesting is how much people decide to try to mess with you. People who test your courage make life fun and interesting."

"So, it's about conflict."

"It's simpler than that. I'd say it's more about the flow of information."

That sounded about right, coming from her, but it just struck me as stupid. Of course, money makes your life boring. Everything I had ever known seemed to confirm that to me. "Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," she insisted. "The more mystery there is, the more it challenges you. People really show you what they're made of, and that makes life interesting."

I added that up and guessed, "You see life as one big high school, huh?"

She remarked, "My life is like school. It's kind of crazy, really."

I smiled, realizing, "You know, you talk a lot like Haruhi."

"Do I?" she asked, somewhat surprised.

"Yeah," I replied. "She's always coming up with weird stuff like this."

"You talk a lot about life in general?"

"No, but she loves that kind of thing."

- x -

When the weekend came, I found myself back at home. It was nice to get back to, but more because it was so familiar than anything else. Living with Ryoko would be like trying to live in an occult theme park. I imagine that would really grate on my nerves after a while. Haruhi likes to invite me over to her place, but just for supper. She really hates it if I show up without asking first. I've gotten in the habit of letting her come over and invite me.

Sure enough, she eventually did come over. I went and answered the door, and she walked in like she owned the place.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked. "You haven't been around in a while."

"Just the usual," I replied.

She then asked, "What are you doing for Golden Week?"

"I'll be around," I answered.

"You got grounded?" she asked, but that was more of a statement.

"Yeah," I answered, unnecessarily.

"I heard you were seen walking around with some strange girl," she added.

"Yeah," I admitted.

"Your girlfriend?" she asked, sneering in a familiar way.

Yeah. This is just Haruhi's weird sense of humor at work. She likes to provoke some reaction that she can make fun of me for. If I say Ryoko is my girlfriend, Haruhi would just laugh and call me an idiot. If I say Ryoko isn't my girlfriend, she would laugh even harder for taking her seriously.

Haruhi then gave me the more generic form of that response when I glared at her long enough, "You should know better than to think some attractive girl would ever want to be serious about you."

That sounded like a challenge, so I answered, "We did actually have a lot of serious conversations."

"Oh yeah?" she asked.

"She's a total occult freak just like you. Plus, she believes in reincarnation."

"So, you hate her already?"

"I think I relate to her pretty well. Plus, she has this cute neighbor. I don't think she's too attractive to get serious about a guy like me."

"Well, this is unexpected," Haruhi softly admitted.

"What?" I asked.

She answered, "And here I thought you were going to try to irritate me with pretending to be going out with some super hotty. Now, I find out she has a neighbor you like."

"I didn't say I liked her," I corrected her. "I just said she could get serious."

"You like her, I'll bet," she said.

"I admit, we have a weird kind of sympathetic vibe," I answered. "The attractive one really seems to have me pegged, though."

"That's no good," Haruhi commented. "I'm going to have to do something about it."

"Like what?" I asked, but I should have realized what she was up to.

"I'll think of something," she lied. "Anyway, you haven't had dinner yet, right?"

"Yeah."

"You mind if I use your kitchen?"

"No, I don't mind. What's the occasion?"

"Nothing special. I just don't feel like going home right now."

- x -

Haruhi sometimes likes to complain about doing all the housework at her home, but that's a bit of an exaggeration. I know from experience that her mother would gladly do it, but Haruhi always gets annoyed when that happens. She complains that things don't get clean enough, and she may as well just do everything herself. Haruhi's mother also works, so it's not like a little help around the house isn't welcome, but Haruhi takes a bit of an obnoxious attitude about it.

It's pretty rare that Haruhi will ask me what I want when she cooks over here, and today was no exception. She cooked, we ate, and then we had a nice conversation, afterward.

"How do you like that school?" I asked her, knowing full well what her answer would be.

"It sucks," she complained.

"I thought you said you couldn't wait to go there," I reminded her.

"Yeah," she admitted. "Well, now I've changed my mind."

I guessed, "No attractive guys going there, huh?"

"Actually," she answered, "there is this one guy I like, but he isn't into me. He gets a funny look in his eye whenever he looks at me. He gives me the creeps."

"A stalker?" I asked.

She replied, "I get the feeling like he was stalking me as a child, but now he looks disappointed that I'm growing up. He acts a bit like my father."

Haruhi doesn't talk much about her father, so I have nothing on which to base this statement. I've never really met her father. I know he hangs around the house a lot and that he has this mysterious job that he only goes to about half the year. I can never be sure whether he is home, so I was just about to guess that, in this case.

She saved me the trouble and said, "Yeah, my father is home right now."

"Did I say anything?" I asked.

"No," she answered. "You just looked like you had that itch to ask me."

"Damn," I said. "You know me too well."

"You got that right," she casually remarked.


	17. Do the Neurotic

- Chapter 2: Do the Neurotic

It might suffice to say that getting grounded made me irritated, and yeah. That did happen, but it was probably the best thing that could have happened to me at that point. I started to think a lot about what Ryoko had told me about colors and how completely insane she must have been to even think of something like that. That she could allow her insanity to spill over into a belief in some imaginary reincarnated worlds where she lived some fantasy party girl lifetime where I gave her good advice just chiseled in stone my theory about attractive people in general: They are so completely disconnected from real life that they can't even tell what's important.

Over that time I had spent at Ryoko's I had spoken with Yuki, and she seemed extremely level-headed, although I could tell some of Ryoko's madness was rubbing off on her. She didn't react in any way to Ryoko's crazy ideas, but only said some vaguely odd things of her own. That someone with her lucidity could allow Ryoko to descend into that madness made her seem suspiciously indifferent. I wanted to let it go, but it kept bugging me that she wouldn't at least voice an objection. Maybe it was none of my business, but that just pissed me off even more.

I know Haruhi has no preference for any particular crazy idea other than that her own senses are the only things worth trusting. I figured she'd be all over that color idea, so I decided to keep it to myself. No reason to let her descend into that red madness. With her father at home, she would probably continue coming over to my house. In fact, it seemed likely that she would continue cooking, as she was starting to do that more frequently. She had taken an interest in who I liked and was planning to do something about it, but I'd had no idea what until I saw her standing in front of class with Okabe. He told us that she was a new transfer, and to be nice to her. Yeah, right.

"I'm Haruhi Suzumiya," she told us. "I went to East Middle. I have no interest in ordinary humans, but if any of you are aliens, time travelers, sliders, or espers, please come see me. That is all."

The silence after that was so deafening that I broke out in laughter. I tried to hold it in, but that just made it worse.

"Shut up, Kyon!" she exclaimed. "I'm totally serious."

"Hey, Princess," I returned. "This is high school, not kindergarten."

She gaped at me, and the rest of the class burst into laughter. Outstanding.

"That's right," she said. "Keep laughing. Anyone else calls me 'Princess' is going to regret it."

- x -

Lunch that day was interesting. My pals couldn't help but comment on that exchange.

"That was some introduction, huh?" Kunikida asked.

Taniguchi added, "I can't believe you called her 'Princess' right in front of the whole class."

"Yeah," I said. "I surprised myself a little."

"Oh man," Taniguchi complained. "Why did she transfer here?"

"Who knows?" I said.

"You guys knew her in middle school?" Kunikida asked.

Taniguchi answered, "Kyon was in her class for a couple years. I only knew her by reputation."

"I remember now," Kunikida said. "You mentioned her on the phone a few times. That girl who lives across the street from you."

"That's her," I said.

I couldn't help but feel like she'd transferred here because she was following me. It seemed like a reasonable point of view. It kind of bugged me that she couldn't just admit it. I don't think I could have gotten away with a stunt like earlier, though, had she admitted that. I liked her, but I was still intimidated by her beauty.

Taniguchi then asked, "I ever tell you about the time she drew on the grounds?"

"I heard about that," I said.

"What did she do?" Kunikida asked.

I answered, "She made some chalk outline of a mystic symbol to try and summon a demon."

Taniguchi added, "I heard it was to try and speak to UFOs, but whatever. She never admitted why she did it."

"I remember that," Kunikida said. "I read about that in the local paper."

"Kyon was at your school that year," Taniguchi supplied.

Kunikida remarked, "That introduction isn't improving her reputation."

"I don't think her reputation can get any worse," Taniguchi said.

"She have any friends?" Kunikida then asked.

"Other than Kyon," Taniguchi replied, "I can't think of any."

"Yeah," I added, "she has trouble with greetings. And goodbyes. And pretty much anything in between."

"No kidding," Taniguchi said. "I heard she kind of has a thing for you, though."

"Jeez," I complained.

"I'm serious," he insisted. "A bunch of guys asked her out, but she always turned them down. She'd complain that humans are boring or something like that, but I kind of got the impression that she's saving herself."

Kunikida asked him, "So, why'd you ask her out?"

"What?" Taniguchi said, a little flustered for a moment. "I didn't mean me. This was just what I heard."

"Give me a break," I said. "She may be friendly with me, but she's totally out of my league. I mean, she's still pretty attractive."

"This from the guy who's been seen with Miss Asakura," Taniguchi remarked.

Kunikida asked me, "Is that true? I mean, have you been talking to her much?"

"We aren't exactly going out, okay?" I said.

"I just assumed that much," Taniguchi answered. "I mean, I ain't stupid."

"Anyway..." I explained. "Asakura just likes to talk. I was just her victim for a while."

"Victim?" Taniguchi said.

"She's a total freak, too," I answered. "Honestly. If they started a freak club, she could be the mascot."

"You do have a knack for attracting weirdos," Kunikida commented.

Kunikida likes making this observation. It never fails to annoy me, and I think that's why he likes repeating it.

"Is that so?" Taniguchi complained. "But she seems so nice."

"She is nice," I told him. "She's just a really nice freak."

Taniguchi frowned and said, "This could affect her score..."

- x -

I hadn't heard what Taniguchi had said about Haruhi having a thing for me before. That put me in a depressed state, to think that I had laughed at her in front of the class. This was not completely out of the ordinary. I mean, lots of people had made fun of her in middle school, but she had probably been hoping for a fresh start in high school. Of course, had she really been trying to do that, she should have just introduced herself like any normal person would.

I stopped at the coffee shop in front of the station again to get a drink and try to convince myself that I wasn't really a complete ass, when Haruhi suddenly appeared.

"Hey..." I said, noticing her. "Whoa. You cut your hair?"

"Yeah," she said, sitting across from me. "What do you think?"

I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, but before I could respond, she scowled and answered my look.

"No," she said. "I didn't do it because of how you humiliated me. I just felt like a different look. That's all."

"I really liked your hair the way it was," I complained.

"You did?" she asked. "Well, you should have said something."

I shook my head and added, "Any time I talk about hair, you give me a funny look."

"Are you serious?" she asked, scowling in a funny way.

"Yeah," I answered. "That's the look."

She sighed and admitted, "I guess it's unfair to expect you to comment on appearance."

"You're still serious about finding aliens or whatever?" I asked.

"We've known each other for how long?" she casually asked me.

"And I suppose you asked around?"

"Of course."

Yep. She could kiss her reputation goodbye, humiliated or not.

I then asked, "What'll you do when you find them?"

She replied, "I'll hang out with them, of course."

"I guess that would be kind of cool," I remarked.

"Sure it would," she said.

I added, "'Because life is more interesting that way.'" This was something she'd told me about a hundred times.

"That's right," she stated, folding her arms in emphasis.

"Right..." I said. "Okay. Here's what I don't get."

"What?" she asked.

"Isn't it kind of stupid to just walk up to people and say, 'Hi! Are you an alien?'"

"Why is it stupid?"

"Well, think about it. If you were an alien and someone asked you that question, what would you say?"

Yeah. She hadn't really thought about it.

I then said, "If you really want to find an alien, assuming there are any, you'd have to be much more subtle than that."

"How would you go about doing it?" she asked.

That was a good question. I stopped and thought for a moment. If there's one thing I know about the occult, it's that sit-coms on TV have all the answers, so I said, "I'd start by making a list of all the people I know and their living conditions."

"Why would you do that?" she asked.

I explained, "I think if I was an alien living on some other world, I'd probably end up either living alone or with some family, like an exchange student. Those would naturally be the most suspicious. Start with them and see what they're up to."

"Okay," Haruhi said, never doubting my wisdom for a moment.

I added, "Miss Asakura would be right at the top of my list."

"Why is that?" she asked.

"Well... She is pretty strange, and she lives alone. She told me she has connections and that they pay for her living arrangements. Makes sense, right?"

"I guess so... How do you know all that?"

"Didn't I tell you? I was staying at her place a couple weeks ago."

"An alien, huh?"

- x -

The nice thing about people's homes is that they tell you a lot about the person who lives there. I had noticed from a couple weeks ago how little decor Ryoko has, but more importantly, I had noticed that she likes to collect a lot of girlish toys. She also has some posters of popular bands from the sixties and a few books here and there on mercenary lifestyle. Okay, that last one was probably just a quirk, so I overlooked that one.

Haruhi and I went over to Ryoko's apartment, and she answered the door.

"Hi!" Haruhi said. "May we come in?"

"Sure," Ryoko answered. "Good to see you."

We went in and had a seat in front of her TV.

"Hey..." I said, looking around. "I like what you've been doing with the place."

"You do?" she asked.

I noticed a few shelves with some books on art, and some wooden models. There were also some obviously hand-crafted items, plus a lot of knitted items. She hadn't struck me as particularly girlish, so these came as a pleasant surprise. She also had some paintings that I recognized as sixteenth century Italian people and places. It didn't strike me as the home of a crackpot, at all.

"Looks nice," I added.

"Thanks," she said.

"Hope we didn't come at a bad time," I said.

"Actually," she admitted, "I was just thinking of having a word with you two. I mean, about the introduction earlier today."

"Oh God," Haruhi said, scowling at me.

"No, it was great," Ryoko assured her. "The whole class got a kick out of that."

"Sorry," I said.

"No need to apologize," she insisted. "You're the talk of the school, now."

Haruhi remarked, "Nothing good, I suspect."

"On the contrary," Ryoko answered. "It was great. Everybody's learning a lot about each other."

"And avoiding conflict," I added.

"That's right," she said. "Clearing the air can help make things fun, too."

It then occurred to me that Ryoko wasn't as crazy as I had started thinking. Maybe it had something to do with Yuki, considering how she loved reading. I like to think nothing bad can happen when you take an interest in reading.

I then said, "This may seem a little weird, but..."

"Hold on," Ryoko interrupted. "I know what you're going to ask me."

"What?" Haruhi asked.

Ryoko answered, "You think I'm an alien, right?"

"Yeah," Haruhi replied. "How did you know?"

"Because I'm psychic," Ryoko answered. "That's how I know."

"Really?" Haruhi said. "So, you're an esper."

Ryoko added, "Every now and then I get these visions and I just know things."

"This explains a lot," I said, thinking that my first impression must have been right.

"I can also see your future," Ryoko said.

"You can?" Haruhi asked. "Tell me something about it."

Ryoko answered, "I see you running into a strange but beautiful girl, soon. She isn't what she seems, though. Hey, maybe she's really an alien. I can't really tell about that part."

"Another beautiful girl?" Haruhi asked.

"I guess you'll just have to take my word for it," Ryoko said.

I asked, "You mean, at school?"

"That's right," Ryoko answered.

"That's pretty cool," Haruhi said. "Now do Kyon."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Ryoko answered.

"Why not?" Haruhi asked.

"I'm getting too much negative energy from him," Ryoko replied.

Haruhi laughed and remarked, "Yeah, he does that a lot."

I had given off a lot of "negative energy" at Haruhi's introduction. That's for sure.

Ryoko then asked, "Are you really interested in espers? We really aren't all that interesting."

"Can you get sensations from holding objects?" Haruhi asked her.

"I could try," Ryoko answered. "You have anything in particular?"

"Sure..." Haruhi said, fishing out an amulet from around her neck. "How about this?"

Haruhi gave her the amulet, and Ryoko merely looked off to the side. She seemed to be concentrating for a moment, and then she began to speak. "Let's see," she said. "An older woman? Your grandmother, I guess."

"Whoa," Haruhi interjected.

Ryoko continued, "She gave you this and had it inscribed: 'To a lovely Princess.'"

"You can tell that without even looking?" I asked. I hadn't ever noticed it, myself.

Ryoko ignored me and continued, "You never really liked her, and you often wished you had stayed at home with your father."

This was all news to me. Haruhi just stared blankly at Ryoko. Haruhi wasn't denying it, so maybe it was true.

"As you got older," Ryoko continued, "you began regretting the way you treated her. Especially when she died, it gave you a lot of regrets..."

"Okay," Haruhi interrupted her. "That's enough of that."

While Haruhi took back her amulet, I couldn't help but let my imagination run away with me. I immediately wondered just how much we had in common.

"You ran away?" I asked her.

"No," Haruhi replied. "My stupid mother made me go live with my grandmother for a while."

"Oh, I see," I said.

"It's no big deal," Haruhi added, nervously trying to be casual about it all.

Ryoko smiled and said, "That's the other thing about being an esper. You sometimes learn a little too much. A little mystery is what makes life truly interesting."

"Could I ask you something?" I asked.

"What is it?" Ryoko said.

I asked her, "Is Miss Nagato also an esper?"

From her reaction of surprise, I couldn't help but conclude that she was. It made sense. I mean, if you were an esper, you'd be friendly with other espers, right?

"Who?" Haruhi asked.

- x -

By the end of the day, I had noticed a change come over Haruhi. She couldn't be sure of what was happening, but she definitely loved the idea. She was probably beginning to realize that it had nothing to do with her, and all this surprising information probably had a lot more to do with me than what she had told the class. It's like being an inventor. It's one thing to want to be an inventor, but not everyone can invent something. That requires the education and the luck to discover what's required for that invention. It has nothing to do with personal merit. In the same way, Haruhi's discoveries had nothing to do with her being special. I've begun suspecting that this is what motivates her. Any chance to prove personal merit like a competition or a duel, she jumps at it.

What this leaves her with, I don't know, but it's got to be better than being a rabidly egotistical brat. If this change in her makes her a better person, it would improve her reputation at the very least. I don't expect her to stop being rude. That would be like changing straw into gold. No. What I expect is for her to suddenly discover this latent worth she's been ignoring in herself the whole time. I mean, this is what school is for, right? Yeah. Maybe if we didn't have politicians running the schools, but I digress.

The next day, I decided to set aside all this espers and aliens nonsense. I have enough problems at home that I don't need the extra headache. I thought a bit about how Yuki was preoccupied, and that really appealed to me. I began to notice how I hadn't joined any of the clubs, and that seemed wrong. I had wanted to join a club, but I had gotten distracted by thoughts of my mother's impending wedding. Thus it was that I found myself wandering around after school, and I came across the literature club entirely by accident. This club would give me another excuse to avoid going home, so I entered and promptly joined when I found Yuki there.

As it happened, Yuki was the only remaining member of the club, so I didn't even have to try to restart anything or struggle to try to fit in there. There were a few books here that I conveniently might enjoy, so I sat and began reading. Right as I was starting to get into it, Haruhi appeared.

"There you are," she said. "What are you doing here?"

I looked up and answered, "Hey. Well, I tracked down Miss Nagato."

"That's her?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, "you'll have to excuse her. She's not very talkative. I'm surprised she speaks to me."

"So, you joined the literature club?" Haruhi asked me, as if that was something noteworthy.

"Yeah," I casually replied. "I don't have anything better to do."

She complained, "Oh, man!"

"What?"

"I guess I could join, too."

"No way. You'd hate it. All we do is sit around, reading."

"I don't mind reading."

This was a bit of a shock, and I asked, "You don't?"

I don't think I'd ever witnessed Haruhi reading anything outside of a homework assignment, and even that was a rare occasion. When had she found time to discover a love of reading? I thought about it for a moment and then realized that I probably didn't really want to know.

"Anyway," I said, putting that thought aside, "Miss Nagato obviously loves reading."

"Is she really an esper?" Haruhi asked.

I replied, "I don't know. We haven't really talked about it."

She went to Yuki and asked, "Excuse me, but are you an esper?"

"Yes," Yuki replied.

"Well," I said, "I guess that answers that."

"Can you really...?" Haruhi started to ask.

Yuki responded, "You dislike your mother, and you enjoy reading a certain type of books. Shall I continue?"

"No, that's okay," Haruhi answered.

"A certain type?" I asked, briefly toying with that thought again.

Haruhi seemed a little nervous, like she was trying hard to think of something that might distract me. I recognized that look, so I just shelved the thought again.

"Never mind," I said.

She then softly asked, "Kyon, could we have a minute?"

"Okay," I said.

I recognized this tone in her voice. This was her usual plea for help in a time when she really didn't want people to notice how she had screwed something up.

"What's this about?" I asked.

"I'm not good at this kind of thing," Haruhi said. "Help me out, here."

Yeah. Here's another thing Haruhi likes to do. I've noticed that she likes to assume I can read her mind. She has this annoying ability to know what I'm thinking without fully realizing it, so apparently she assumes that everyone can do that. I guess it's never occurred to her that not everyone can do that, but then all this stuff probably occurs at a subconscious level, so my pointing it out to her would only confuse her anyway.

"I mean," Haruhi started to explain, "I know you like books and all, but what do you think of this Nagato girl?"

"She's okay," I said. I think she can be trusted to actually be reading.

Haruhi then said, "Yeah, I can see that. But I mean, what do you think?"

As a person, then? I answered, "She's definitely my type. I don't think she likes going to school very much, but there's something really academic about her. I get the feeling she could probably beat anybody she wanted in a test of wits."

From the way Haruhi looked, I don't think that's what she'd actually been asking me.

"What?" I said. "Don't tell me you're jealous."

She then explained, "I'm just deciding whether to join, that's all."

"You really want to?"

"Yeah. Why not?"

Indeed. Why not? This could be fun.

- x -

I went back to the club room and began reading again. I was almost fully immersed in a story of two spies tracking down a stolen diamond. This was one of those rare stories that was both hilarious and really sad. It was hilarious because all the usual cloak-and-dagger devices were giving weird and unexpected results, and it was sad because the author didn't seem aware of this.

Just as I was reading through another long speech by the villain, Haruhi appeared again. This time, she was half-dragging this really beautiful girl behind her. I immediately thought of what Ryoko had told us about Haruhi's future just yesterday.

"Hey guys!" Haruhi said. "Guess who I just captured?"

"Captured?" I asked. "Hey, is she...?"

Haruhi stopped me before I could say "alien," and answered, "That's right. It was a struggle, but I finally found her hiding in the calligraphy club. This is Mikuru Asahina."

"What's going on here?" she asked.

"Congratulations!" Haruhi told her. "You're the newest member of the literature club."

"Literature club?" Mikuru asked, looking around.

"Sorry," I said.

"Sure!" Haruhi answered. "The literature club, as you can see, is in desperate need of members. You're going to help."

"I don't know..." Mikuru said, oddly stopping short of what she wanted to say.

I told her, "It's okay to say no, actually."

"Kyon..." Haruhi said.

"What?" I asked.

Mikuru looked straight at Yuki with a surprised look on her face and said, "Well... I guess so. I mean, maybe it was meant to be."

Haruhi then said to her, "What are you talking about? Life is what you make of it."

"I understand," Mikuru softly stated.

"That's the spirit!" Haruhi declared. "You can be our mascot."

Haruhi then produced a camera that I know I'd never seen her using before.

"Wait," I said. "So, you're going to take pictures and use her as advertising?"

"Bingo!" she answered, grinning. "You catch on quick."

I again said to Mikuru, "You really don't have to do what she says, you know."

"But I..." Mikuru started.

Haruhi interrupted, "Don't listen to him. We need to start recruiting, girl!"

"What should I do?" Mikuru asked, as Haruhi began taking pictures.

- x -

The next day, I was having a lot of trouble concentrating on all the stupid school work I was getting, and I really needed to relax. After school, I realized that the club was the perfect thing to settle my nerves, so I eagerly went to the club room to read. When I arrived, I noticed Haruhi was already there, and there was also a new addition to the club room: a new computer. She was sitting behind it, no doubt using it to help design some new evil scheme.

"What's up with the...?" I started.

Haruhi replied, "The computer club gave it to us."

"They gave it to us?" I asked, highly doubtful of that.

"That's right," she insisted.

I looked around and I noticed Yuki in her usual place, still reading. Mikuru was also there, looking rather upset and a little embarrassed. Here was a fun little mystery.

"Don't worry," Haruhi said. "I've already set up our home page and everything."

I cleared my mind and said, "I don't even want to know..."

- x -

Once Haruhi was done with the computer, I looked up and noticed that Mikuru had already left.

"I'm going," Haruhi said. "Hey, Kyon. You coming?"

"Yeah," I said. "Let me just finish this paragraph..."

Haruhi left while I continued reading for a few moments. I then put down the book and picked up my school bag. It was at this moment when Yuki suddenly appeared next to me, brandishing a book toward me.

"Here," she said.

"Huh?" I asked, a little startled.

"Take it."

"Okay."

- x -

Later that evening, I went to my bedroom and began reading that book Yuki had offered me. It was a comedy/sci-fi story that was pretending to be serious. I kind of got the impression that it was the book version of her, and that made me wonder for a bit why she had given it to me. I was pretty sure she just wanted me to enjoy a story that she also enjoys, which was just her way of being social.

Unsurprisingly, Haruhi entered like she lived here, though I didn't remember letting her in. She probably just rang the doorbell and marched on in, as usual.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Nothing," she answered. "You're still reading?"

"Something Miss Nagato handed to me. It's pretty good, actually."

"You're such a nerd."

"Yeah."

"Well... I'm making curry."

Cooking? Well, this was becoming more frequent, so I really should have expected this.

"Curry?" I asked.

"Yeah," she explained. "I kind of felt like having that tonight."

"Okay," I said.

- x -

The next day after class, I returned that book to Yuki.

"Here you go," I said.

"Did you read it?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "It was great. Thanks."

At this rate, Yuki might actually earn a reputation for being slightly sociable by the time she graduated. That might be a bit too much to hope for, but it had to be better than getting picked on (which I imagined she'd probably had to endure a lot of). I went to sit down, and she handed me another book.

"Here," she said.

I looked at the cover. "Phenomenology?" I asked.

"Take it," she said.

"Well, okay," I said, taking it. "If you insist."

- x -

I tried reading it, but I kept thinking this philosophy book really should have been written as a sci-fi novel. It would have made a lot more sense that way. It just took itself way too seriously, so I had to stop reading it. The author was fond of saying things that to my mind were just clever ways of rewording the old "water is wet" figure of speech in pseudo-intellectual ways. Nothing is more moronic than an idiot who thinks he's being clever.

The next day after class, I returned that book to Yuki.

"Here you go," I said.

"Did you read it?" she asked.

Sorry, no. I'd rather have my fingernails ripped off.

"Did you see the bookmark?" she then asked.

"Huh?" I said. "No. I never look at those."

Yuki then looked at me, and for the first time, I think she was actually conveying real information to me. I was so astonished that I could get a real response from her that I almost missed how she was conveying some mild form of irritation that I wasn't looking at her cleverly hidden message in the bookmark.

"Oh, I get it," I said.

- x -

That evening, I was looking forward to the weekend (it being Friday), and completely forgetting to read what Yuki had given me again. I was just sitting around in the living room, watching TV, when I heard the doorbell and went to answer the door.

"I'll get that," I directed toward the kitchen, where my mom was busy working on cleaning up after supper.

I opened the door, and I was surprised to see Yuki.

"Hello," I said. "Nice to see you."

"Are you avoiding me?" she asked in her usual monotone.

"No," I answered. "Why do you ask?"

"The book," she explained.

I had thought she meant at the club room, but she had meant about the bookmark.

"Oh..." I said. "I'm sorry. I completely forgot. You wanted me to read that?"

"May I come in?" she asked.

"Sure," I answered, "but watch out for Sister."

"Sister?"

"She likes to play weird pranks on my guests."

- x -

By now, I had figured out that the bookmark was some sort of message about a rendezvous she had intended to set up with me since at least Wednesday. Using a bookmark to do that seemed a little idiotic, though. I mean, it almost relies on the person reading the book to be clumsy and accidentally mishandle the thing to make special note of it. Why someone like Yuki would do that was a bit of mystery to me, considering how she likes to be careful and methodical, but then even a girl like Yuki would have her weird quirks, I guess.

We went to the living room to sort all this out.

"So, why all the secrecy?" I asked.

She replied, "My subordinate likes to track me. Coming here makes it harder for me to distract her."

"Your subordinate?" I asked.

"Ryoko Asakura," she answered.

"Okay," I said. An esper with an underling?

"I believe she is attempting to gain your confidence," Yuki added.

"How is she doing that?" I asked.

"She gave you a story of her past lives."

"Yeah."

"She made you believe that she was notorious and unsavory."

"Yeah, she did."

Speaking to her like this, I could see that nothing was standing in the way of her becoming notoriously well-liked if she had wanted to be, but there was something about books that just consumed her. It was an interesting mystery, but then I started to think about what she was saying to me. For Ryoko to work a con on me must have meant that she wanted something from me, but what could a beautiful girl possibly want from a guy like me? That made absolutely no sense.

Yuki added, "Be careful what you believe."

"I guess I hadn't really thought about it," I admitted.

Yuki explained, "She is a valued partner to me, but I fear she means to manipulate you in some way that will reduce her boredom. She has a disagreeable habit of doing that."

"Okay," I said, satisfied with that explanation. "I'll be careful."


	18. Invisible Touch

- Chapter 3: Invisible Touch

It was June, now. This meant that every day until the wedding was like a class bully standing right in my face with a chip on his shoulder, daring me to knock it off. I'd wake up thinking about how great the day was going to be, and that chipper mood would soon be doused by Haruhi's face, smiling back at me. She took the seat behind me (the result of Ryoko's generosity, of course), and seeing her there was a constant reminder of home and the inevitable tension that awaited me there. It was near enough to the time of the wedding that I was just wishing the days would go by quicker so I could get it over with.

Since she sat right behind me, Haruhi never neglected to strike up a conversation with me. This had been my experience now for the past two years, and I recalled how this always seems to happen no matter how hard I fight it. I may as well just get used to the idea, especially since Haruhi was becoming like a very familiar feeling. It would probably be very strange without her around.

Today she started a conversation about some celebrity. This was an unusual topic for her, and I don't quite recall how the conversation went, but it was pretty obvious that she had developed a huge crush on some hot actor. I think he was British, this time around. She usually goes for some hot American, but every now and then she might like one of the more popular Chinese or European stars. I've never seen her have an infatuation with a Japanese star.

When I'd first met her, she would never speak to me this much. In fact, I'd usually start our conversations, and we would usually end them with her telling me to shut up or her looking away from me like I'd just farted really loud. Lately, I'd be lucky to get more than a few words in. She can be pretty talkative when she wants to be, but I never see her in these kinds of conversations with anyone else.

After I spent some time reading in the club room, I returned to the class room. I'd found a note in my shoe locker that morning that had told me to go there. It wasn't signed, so I had to wonder who it was from. I thought briefly that it might have been from Haruhi, but she would never bother with a note. She would just grab me by the arm and drag me into the hall if she had something to say to me. It wasn't from Yuki, either. That note she had written on the bookmark had been so neatly written that I'd mistaken it for being printed, at first. It had to have been a girl, though. Okay, maybe there's some guy in class who likes to use heart symbols in their words, but I'd really rather not encounter a guy like that.

When I entered the room, I noticed Ryoko there.

"Asakura?" I said, a little surprised.

"You got my note?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "Was there something you wanted?"

"Just curious about a few things," she replied. "I hope you don't mind."

"Oh," I said, remembering what she'd told me before. "So, this is the part where I give you advice."

"Maybe..." she nervously admitted. "May I ask you something about Miss Nagato?"

"Sure," I answered. "What is it?"

She then asked, "Did she say anything unusual to you lately about me?"

I replied, "Well, she did call you a subordinate and then a valued partner. That seemed kind of weird."

"So, she also warned you not to trust me?" Ryoko guessed.

"She warned me to be critical about your past lives," I supplied.

"I thought so," Ryoko softly stated.

I added, "She didn't tell me to not tell you, so..."

"You always do everything she tells you," Ryoko remarked in a really nice way.

"I do?" I asked, wondering just how far she could predict my actions.

She then commented, "You have a real knack for causing problems that way. I mean, in those suspicious past worlds."

This was just ridiculous, so I asked, "I never exercise my own judgment?"

She explained, "You never seem to realize when she deflects conversations away from the topic."

"And that causes problems?"

"Do you remember when you were younger?"

"Yeah."

"You remember how you used to love going to school, but then that one teacher deflected your explanation when she caught you ripping up that one bully's homework assignment?"

That isn't quite the way I remember it. I remember that bully ripping up my assignment and laughing while he did so, and then the teacher suddenly became furious with me for some unknown reason. Of course, I was just then remembering that incident, having forgotten about it for almost ten years.

Ryoko continued, "I mean, you related this story to me in that first world, but I have a feeling that didn't change in this one, did it?"

"No," I said.

"And you never forgave her, right?" Ryoko asked.

"I don't like thinking about it," I answered.

Ryoko then asked me, "If someone gave you the chance to get even with her, would you take it?"

"Yeah," I immediately answered.

"You wouldn't even hesitate," Ryoko said.

"No," I agreed.

Hold on a second. That teacher didn't just start punishing me. I had tried to explain what had happened, but I had completely blocked out the part where I had ripped up his assignment. Somehow, I had immediately blanked when that had happened. The teacher then yelled at me for "lying" to her, then went into a rage. I could sympathize with her, though I could clearly see that she had also made a huge mistake, becoming enraged like that.

"Oh, that's great!" Ryoko said. "So, you know exactly how I feel. I just knew we would agree."

"I don't get it," I said, wondering how on Earth she could possibly understand.

She answered, "I'm just telling you this so you'll understand when the time comes. Okay?"

"Okay," I said.

"Thanks for the chat," she added. "I feel a whole lot better, now."

This wasn't just boredom at work, here. This was something that went much deeper than that. As Ryoko left, I could see from her relief that what she was planning to do was really big. She was desperate for revenge, but it would probably cost her a lot. And I had just stamped my approval on it. I went to my desk to have a seat, while I began to wonder what I had just done.

My love of school didn't just stop back then. There was something very brilliant and magnetic about it, even after that ugly incident. I never trusted that teacher again, though. She was fired about a week afterward for unrelated issues. I didn't bother to find out whatever happened to her. The thing that changed was that bullies seemed to find me on a more regular basis. Not every day. Usually only about once a week or so. Sometimes they would vanish for a month or two, but they would always come back. School was great, but those bullies were the worst.

"You okay?" said a voice, and I turned around. It was Yuki, who had suddenly appeared, as if out of thin air.

"I'm just now remembering how I used to love school," I said.

"Yeah," she said.

I added, "I loved being young, actually. I had a happy childhood. Really."

"You did?"

"Yeah. Even that teacher who I've hated till now. She really listened to me. I'm just now realizing that. She may have punished me wrongfully, but that was only because she cared about what I was saying."

"I see."

"Doesn't it seem rather childish to want to get back at people?"

"Yes."

"I guess I'm childish, huh?"

I looked at her and I saw a strangely sympathetic expression on her face. She took a few moments to answer, but she finally said, "No."

- x -

After that bit of melodrama, I was actually looking forward to going back home. I was on the train back to the neighborhood when I got a call from Haruhi.

I shortly told her, "Yeah. I'm on the way back."

"You have any preference for food?" she asked.

"Your Dad's back, huh?" I asked.

Haruhi's father had vanished for a week again, so I had been expecting him to turn up at any time. Haruhi making something to eat at my place was nearly always a sure sign that he was back.

"Just make whatever you want," I told her. "Mom is kind of starting to expect that, anyway."

"What did I ever do to deserve this?" she complained.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"It's nothing," she said. "Hey, did you see Mikuru today?"

"Yeah."

"She does seem pretty alien-y, don't you think?"

"There's something seriously wrong with that assessment, but I'll admit she does act strange."

"I found out her living conditions. Get this: She lives by herself and pays the rent through some shady business. You know? The kind of guys who don't exactly want you delving too deeply into everything else they got going on, if you know what I mean."

Yeah. I think the whole world would know who she meant, there. It seemed terribly wrong, but it was oddly easy for me to picture Mikuru as a friend to yakuza types.

"Sheesh," I said, more disgusted with myself than with this news.

Haruhi continued, "She got into the school on a similar recommendation. I looked up her name on an internet database of family registries, and that didn't go anywhere."

"They keep family registries on the internet?" I asked.

"Sure. Don't you think that makes it more convenient?"

"Yeah, I guess. If you're looking for aliens, that might speed things along."

- x -

Okay. Here's a tip for you aspiring writers. Don't try to write romance. Real life romance is very unconvincing, so there's really no way you could practice, and I don't think even punching it up could make it all that interesting. Oh, sure. You could throw in some drama and have a silly situation where someone feels compelled to rescue someone else, etc. That crap is really cliche, and a smart reader would recognize the signs and see your clever plot twists coming a mile away. It would turn out boring. The obligatory scene of romance toward the end would wind up being absurdly unconvincing, anyway. If the characters had chemistry, the readers would start to wonder why they weren't together earlier, and if the characters didn't have chemistry, the readers would become disgusted at all the forced romance. So, don't even bother.

Why am I telling you this? Well, I'm about to give you an example of why you shouldn't write romance. Okay? Here goes:

Once I had returned home, I ventured into the kitchen to see what Haruhi was up to.

"I'm back," I said. "Hey, wow. You really did decide on spaghetti?"

"You took your time," she complained. "What? You get in another teacher conference?"

"I get a lot of those, don't I? No, it was just Asakura."

"Asakura?"

"She has some weird vendetta she's plotting."

"Against who?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask. I think she just wanted moral support."

"You told her she was being stupid, right?"

"You know how she is... I had no idea what she was asking me until after I thought about it."

Haruhi sighed and turned back to her pot of boiling water. The noodles sitting nearby were a dead give-away. Spaghetti isn't all that exciting, but it is pretty distinctive.

"I thought I'd try something different," Haruhi explained.

"Why don't you come to the wedding?" I asked.

"I don't like weddings," she answered.

I added, "It's about a week from now, so..."

"Doesn't this scene kind of make us look like we're a couple?" she asked.

"This scene?"

"I hate the food at weddings."

"You've only ever been to Western style weddings?"

"I never really got into that whole romance thing, either."

Napoleon never really got into that whole peace thing, but I doubt anyone really expected him to.

"You know what I mean?" she asked.

"Don't I ever," I softly remarked.

"What?" she said. "Don't tell me you're the romantic type."

"How long have we known each other?" I asked, wondering who I was talking to, all of a sudden.

She then asked, "Aren't you the one who was upset about this wedding?"

I answered, "I may not care for my mother's choice of men, but I do appreciate that she isn't just throwing away a chance at love."

"Who said anything about love?" Haruhi complained.

I had just assumed Haruhi lumped weddings and love all together in one big pile of things that she considered beneath her. Now she was differentiating?

"You really are the romantic type, huh?" she observed.

"Only since as long as I can remember," I replied.

"You want to kiss me?"

"Yeah."

"Okay... So..."

And we kissed. It wasn't great, but it definitely blew me away.

"Oh God," she said, suddenly looking away.

"Whatever happened to love being a kind of mental disease?" I asked.

"Did I say that?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

She softly explained, "I must have been quoting a book or something."

You see? Totally unconvincing, isn't it? And don't even try to throw in a steamy bedroom scene. I'm not stupid enough to think that I could pull that off. I mean, Haruhi is probably the most lustful girl in the world, but I doubt you'd think she would just jump into bed with me at this point, so I'm not even going to bother.

- x -

After we ate, we returned to the kitchen to clean our plates, and we took some time to sort out plans. The subject of the wedding also came up again.

"You want to eat at my place next time?" she asked.

"Wouldn't your father just cause trouble for me?" I asked.

"Yeah, probably," she admitted.

"I don't want to get in more trouble," I said, thinking of how Mom would react.

"I don't feel comfortable here," Haruhi complained. "It's too close."

Too close to what? "You want to go somewhere?" I asked.

"Yeah. I mean, you don't mind if I find somewhere?"

"I think anything is fine. Just..."

"What?"

"No hotels or friend's apartments or anything dumb like that."

I think I had just eliminated every possibility that Haruhi had been thinking about.

I added, "Sister is going to be a problem around here."

"You can't just kick her out?" Haruhi asked.

"Sister likes to bully me, since I have a bad reputation," I explained.

"That's too bad," Haruhi remarked.

"I'm afraid it's up to you," I said, "if you want a repeat of today's performance."

"Admit it," she said. "You liked it."

"Yeah," I admitted.

"It beats reading," she added.

"You could score some family points at the wedding."

"You're going to keep harping on that, huh?"

"At least until you tell me why you won't go."

"I don't know why. Okay?"

"Maybe I should invite Miss Nagato. She'd love it, I think."

"You have a glasses fetish?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe I should go to that wedding and bring a hot guy with me."

"You know any hot guys?"

"Right. I need to go find one."

- x -

Haruhi had already been using pictures of Mikuru to try and entice guys into the club, so I just assumed there would at least be one or two interested in hanging around. Since none of the guys were crazy enough to actually fall for that, I just assumed any guy interested in joining the club would have to be a creepy weirdo. Boy, was I ever right.

This is not to say that Mikuru isn't attractive enough. Far from it. If anything, I think a lot of guys are probably intimidated by her beauty. The ones that aren't intimidated by the thought of hanging around with Mikuru (like Taniguchi, for example) are intimidated by Haruhi and her special brand of weirdness. Haruhi and Yuki are notoriously unsociable, which prevents any more girls from joining. Basically, unless Haruhi chooses someone, they aren't going to join.

Mikuru didn't seem to mind too much about being chosen, which made me start to doubt whether she was really an alien. I mean, it's crazy how attractive she is, so I was tempted to believe that she's one of those aliens who's trying a little too hard to fit in with the popular crowd. Even so, it's hard for me to picture an alien being that nice and indulgent. Haruhi had just gotten stuck on the idea because of Asakura and her crazy fortune telling.

The next day after class, Haruhi showed up at the club room with a guy right behind her. Just as I expected, he was exactly the sort of guy she might develop a crush on, though he looked to me more like one those Hollywood celebrities than the current British guy she seemed to like.

"Tada!" Haruhi interjected. "Guess what I just found."

"The Philosopher's Stone?" I guessed. "The Lost City of Atlantis?"

"No," Haruhi responded. "Open your eyes, man! This guy just mysteriously transferred here. Isn't that cool?"

"Very cool," I said, just to humor her.

The guy spoke up, saying, "Hello. Nice to meet you all. I'm Itsuki Koizumi."

I asked, "So, are you joining our literature club?"

"Of course, he is!" Haruhi replied on his behalf.

"Well, I suppose," he answered. "This is a literature club, right?"

"Yeah," I said. "Why would you think otherwise?"

"Nothing," he replied. "Just got a little confused, is all."

Confused by what? I turned to Haruhi and asked her, "What did you put on the web page?"

"Mind your own business," she said.

"Right," I answered. I turned to Koizumi and warned, "And you realize that this is a den of weirdness, right?"

He answered, "Miss Suzumiya assured me that we'll have lots of fun."

"We will," she stated. "As you can see, Kyon mainly sits around playing games. We don't just limit ourselves to reading."

"Ah," Koizumi said. "I see at least one of you is reading.

"Miss Nagato?" I said. "Yeah, she's the first member."

"Yuki is our star attraction," Haruhi added. "A real, live esper! Unbelievable, huh?"

"I do find that hard to believe," he said, very sincerely.

Haruhi continued, "And Mikuru over there may not look it, but she's an alien!"

"Hello," Mikuru said.

"Hi," Koizumi said. "So, what does that make me?"

"A time traveler, of course!" Haruhi exclaimed.

"Of course..." he said, looking very doubtful.

"What happened to sliders?" I asked Haruhi.

She answered, "When did I ever mention sliders?"

"Your first day here," I reminded her.

"I don't remember mentioning any such thing," she said.

I then told Koizumi, "We have a well-earned reputation for wild imaginations."

Koizumi remarked, "I suppose being from the future would have its advantages."

"So, you're from the future?" I asked, just playing along. "Why not the past?"

"Well..." he said, unable to continue.

"Isn't it obvious?" Haruhi said. "If he were from the past, we'd have already known about time travel, by now."

"That makes perfect sense," Koizumi said.

"It does?" I asked.

"All right!" Haruhi announced. "With five members, that makes us official."

"So, what special traits do you have?" Koizumi asked me.

"I do all the actual work," I replied.

"I see," he said.

Haruhi added, "Kyon sits around reading and playing games. Mikuru Asahina there likes to try to blend in as much as possible in our human world, so I've been helping her with her fashion sense."

"You have?" I asked, not really expecting a response.

Haruhi then said, "I don't like to brag, but..."

"Liar," I commented.

She continued, "...I think I have an excellent fashion sense. And anyway, it's strictly between the two of us. With Itsuki Koizumi here, we'll be all set on current and future fashion trends."

"I'm afraid I'm not that good with fashion," Koizumi confessed.

"You're not?" Haruhi asked.

Koizumi answered, "No. I mostly prefer academics, although I do sometimes specialize in aerial combat techniques."

"That's cool," Haruhi remarked.

"You'd be surprised how contentious the future can be," Koizumi added.

Mikuru had an odd smile when he said that. She then noticed me watching, and she suddenly looked away.

"Miss Asahina?" Koizumi said. "Hello. I'm just wondering what an alien would think of us time travelers."

Mikuru smoothly answered, "I'm afraid that kind of thing is classified."

"Yeah," Haruhi added. "Don't bug her. She has to respect the Prime Directive."

"Oh," Koizumi said. "Okay."

An alien would have a Prime Directive? Doesn't that just apply to members of the Federation? Wait. That's just Star Trek, so why the hell would any of that apply to real life? Heck, even in fantasy, you'd never see Luke Skywalker or Darth Vader worrying about interfering with life forms on Hoth or Endor.

Haruhi mentioned, "Yuki has no such limitations, though."

"Miss Nagato?" Koizumi said. "Do you have an opinion on the subject?"

"Yes," she answered.

"And what would it be?" he asked.

"Time travel is a nuisance," she replied.

Haruhi explained, "Time travelers would tend to compete with fortune tellers, after all."

"Well," Koizumi said, "I hope we'll get along, anyway."

"Of course, you will," Haruhi said. "Yuki knows. After all, she's seen the future. Haven't you?"

"Yes," Yuki replied.

"That's pretty amazing," Koizumi remarked. "Could you give us an example?"

Yuki answered, "In thirty-seven-point-five seconds, you will find yourself on the verge of an argument with Haruhi Suzumiya."

"Wow," he said. "Really?"

"Really," she answered.

"How on Earth...?" he started to ask.

Haruhi interrupted, "She's psychic! Duh!"

"I see," he said. "How very entertaining."

Haruhi then added, "Mikuru is also a bit of a psychic. She told me all about my childhood; even things that I had forgotten."

"That's pretty amazing," Koizumi said.

"Frankly," Haruhi complained, "she knows a little too much about me. I'm starting to wonder how much else she knows that she hasn't admitted."

"I told you everything I know," Mikuru stated. "Honest."

Haruhi then looked at Yuki in an odd way.

Koizumi observed, "So, aliens are psychic, as well?"

"Huh?" Haruhi said. "No. I figure aliens must be using their high tech to spy on people. That's how they know so much about us."

Koizumi looked a little puzzled. Apparently, he didn't expect Haruhi to start contradicting herself within a few breaths, the way I expect her to.

"So, how about the future?" Haruhi asked him. "You guys have high tech, too? Come on, share us a piece of that future wisdom."

"I..." Koizumi said, his face struggling to decide whether it wanted to show amusement or annoyance.

"Wow," I said, glancing at my watch, "eerie."

"What?" Haruhi asked.

"Miss Nagato was exactly right," I said. "I timed her."

"Oh!" Haruhi realized. "I got it. Don't want to mess up the past, now do we?"

"Yes," he answered, "that might prove to be unwise."

"You can trust me," Haruhi stated. "I would never use future tech for anything other than pure discovery. That would be okay, right?"

Koizumi scowled and answered, "I'm afraid my superiors would be upset if I revealed too much."

"Time travelers are so untrusting," Haruhi complained.

"It's not that," Koizumi said. "We just like the idea of having a nice, familiar home to return to."

"I got it," Haruhi said. She then complained, "Time travelers are basically useless."

"Yeah," he said, "that about covers it."

"Well," Haruhi said, "I'll make sure to send you home with lots to write about."

"I can't wait," he said.

"Great!" Haruhi exclaimed. "First thing I need to do is set you up on a date."

"A date?" he asked, obviously not thrilled about that idea.

"Or would that be a bad idea?" Haruhi asked.

I answered, "I think having a romance with someone in the past would be about the worst thing you could do."

"Who said anything about romance?" Haruhi asked. "I'm talking about a date."

Koizumi then stated, "Sorry. I'm afraid dating and romance amount to the same thing in the future."

"Sheesh," Haruhi complained. "What am I going to do with you?"

- x -

This incident in the club room only really convinced me that Yuki Nagato is really good at predictions. I wasn't buying into any of that espers or aliens or time travelers stuff. Maybe Haruhi is gullible, but that didn't really seem right. More likely, she just wanted to believe in that stuff. Or maybe she was just having fun with the idea and not really caring whether it was true. Haruhi does have an infernal tendency to get really bored, after all.

When we got on the train to return home, I began to wonder how Haruhi's mother had raised her, that she had turned into such an occult maniac.

"So," I said, "you've been playing dress up with Miss Asahina."

"Yeah," she answered.

"And taking pictures, I guess," I added.

"Sure," she said. "Why not?"

Dress up isn't all that different from role playing, and role playing caters to the typical fantasy-prone tendency of a certain segment of the population. It all added up to something I wasn't sure I wanted to admit to myself.

"What?" she asked.

I asked, "You're like a dirty old man, aren't you?"

"A girl can't like fashion?" she complained.

"You never seem to care what you're wearing," I observed.

"What?" she said. "Sure, I do."

"I mean," I explained, "you don't spend a lot of time looking in a mirror."

"I don't?" she asked.

"No, you don't," I answered. "And you don't seem to notice when people are watching you change."

"That's not true at all," she stated. "I don't change right in front of you."

"That's true," I admitted, "but that only seems to apply to me."

"What on Earth are you talking about?" she complained.

"You play dress up with Miss Nagato?" I asked.

"I wish," she said.

"She isn't into that kind of thing?" I asked.

"Why all the sudden interest in fashion?" she asked.

I answered, "Just trying to figure out why you don't like the idea of going to the wedding."

"I'll go," she said, a little exasperated. "Okay? I'll go."

"Okay," I said.

"Sheesh," she added. "You never shut up about it."

- x -

As we walked down the sidewalk toward home, the conversation turned toward books. Haruhi confessed that the kind of books she likes aren't exactly the kind you would proudly read where anyone could see you. I asked what brought that on, but she just smiled and said that I would find out soon enough. Ah, books. Is there anything they can't do? I mean, I can't imagine my mother approving of this turn of events, but something told me she would understand. I'd just have to be careful who else learned about all this.

I asked about Koizumi, and Haruhi admitted that he was the guy she was referring to when she had come over right before Golden Week. He had apparently followed her the way Haruhi had followed me.

"So," I said, "that guy is a stalker, huh?"

"What makes you say that?" she asked.

"Why else would he suddenly transfer like that?" I asked.

Haruhi looked a little disturbed for a moment by what I was implying.

"It's kind of creepy," I added.

"Maybe it's a family thing," she offered.

"Yeah, right," I said, highly doubtful of that.

"Are you jealous?" she asked. "That's what this sounds like."

"You make that sound like a bad thing," I complained.

"I don't think he'd be jealous," she guessed.

"He better not be," I added.

We then came to her house, and I sighed, thinking about the next few obstacles for the day.

"Well," I said, "see ya."

"Hold up," she said. "Let me come over."

"It's not really a good time," I told her.

"What?"

"My sister has this horrible prank she's been saving up for you."

Sister hadn't noticed, but I had seen her plotting with her friends from school. They were planning to mob Haruhi and pester her with questions about my relationship with her and about romance.

"Sister?" Haruhi asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "I can't afford to get her upset, and..."

"Is she the jealous type?"

"Maybe."

"Fine. I'll see you later."

"Later."


	19. Your Own Special Way

- Chapter 4: Your Own Special Way

The day of the wedding came, and it was a grand occasion. The wedding hall seemed a little lopsided, with so many friends of the bride and so few friends of the groom, but the reception was an event to remember. Ryoko was really in her element, and it almost seemed like no one else was there, at times. That allowed a number of the others to sneak out. I noticed Haruhi and Yuki got out of the reception early.

Having attended and smiled throughout the entire affair, I began to earn a new reputation as a nice, dutiful son. It was kind of refreshing to hear people saying good things about me, although there were still people who were making reference to me burning down the old house (never the mind the fact that the old house had never burned down, and in fact was still standing). My friends from class were impressed with how much more spectacular Ryoko and Haruhi could look when they took some time and put on proper outfits for a big occasion. I think Taniguchi may have upgraded Ryoko's score to triple-A, in spite of her being an occult freak.

When I went home, I began thinking about what it all meant, and that put me in a bad mood again. My mother, having remarried, had now completely put the chapter of our lives where I had grown up behind her. I wasn't ready to do that, though. It seemed terribly unfair to my father, and I couldn't help but notice that he had come alone. That seemed to me like an editorial on the state of affairs between men and women in general. Women get all the breaks, and men take all the risk. My father was still expected to support me and Sister, but my mother would freak out if he even appeared within fifty feet of the new house. The trust they had had before was gone, though I couldn't see the reason for it.

It made me want to run away again, although there was really no point. Why bother? I was defeated, and by extension every man on Earth was also defeated. The institution of marriage was a lie and a joke, and the whole human race reduced to a mockery of reason and order. Contracts and oaths are for suckers, promises are nothing more than bait for the ignorant, words themselves are a poison administered through the ears.

When I returned home, I thought a bit about how my mother must have felt during all this, and it hit me that maybe she had experienced something similar to all this. When someone breaks an oath on you, it feels like the whole world is being betrayed, and not just yourself. Maybe she had endured that, too. When parents lie, it feels like an earthquake, but when a lover lies, wouldn't that feel like a tidal wave? My making waves could only make that disaster worse, so I decided to just drop the matter.

It was probably a good thing that I did, too. Haruhi came over again that evening and cooked for me, though I hadn't asked her to. She smiled at me like that wedding had been ours rather than my mother's. She began talking about the future like it was a foregone conclusion that we were going to be together. It made me glad that we could see each other this way, but I was still apprehensive about whether she was serious. I understand that I was probably projecting my own emotions onto her, but I just couldn't get past it all. Haruhi may not be very good at any one particular thing, but she is good at motivating people, and she really knows what she wants. That fact alone makes it difficult for me understand how she can put up with me.

In particular, when I start to do stupid things like pester her. The next morning, I joined her in the living room and began needling her about something, but she just scowled and said:

"I don't want to talk about it."

I smiled and remarked, "You're so cute when you're upset, Princess."

"Oh God," she softly complained. "Stop calling me that."

"I will when you stop calling me 'Kyon,'" I answered.

"You want me to call me to call you...?" she started.

"Yes?"

"God... I can't even say it."

"What? What's the matter?"

"It's so snooty. Can't you just change your name to 'Kyon?'"

I shouldn't take this personally. Haruhi has been having trouble referring to anyone around her in a serious way except Koizumi and her father. It's a good thing other people tend to have silly names. I'd hate to think of what kind of nickname she might give to someone like Mikuru or Yuki.

"Sure," I replied. "Just change your name to 'Princess.'"

Haruhi then complained, "There must be something seriously wrong with your mother, that she would let you be named... that."

"Lots of people say it," I informed her. "Go on..."

As I'm sure you readers have figured out by now, 'Kyon' is not really my name. That's just a goofy nickname my sister came up with. I've resolved to let Haruhi be the first one to declare to the world my real name, but you may as well wait for a brick wall to tell you the meaning of life.

"You said it at the wedding," I reminded her.

"That was just to be polite," she said, verifying what I had assumed.

"You looked kind of freaked out," I added. "Anything you want to talk about?"

Haruhi sighed and then explained, "I was freaked out because everyone we knew at school was there. Who the hell invited Asakura?"

"What was wrong with having her there?"

"She really pisses me off, somehow."

"My mother loves you."

"Does she? She kept frowning every time I saw her look at me."

That was a good sign. Before, it seemed like every time she saw Haruhi, she would frown and look at me disapprovingly. Me dragging Haruhi to the wedding must have really impressed her.

I explained, "That's just her way. If she hated you, she'd act really nice to you."

"Really?" Haruhi said. "I couldn't help noticing how Yuki kept looking at you."

"She was? Was she smiling or frowning?"

"I don't know. Who can tell with her?"

"Maybe she was checking out your thoughts."

"I sure hope not."

I wasn't being serious, but Haruhi still apparently thought there was something to the idea of Yuki being a mind reader.

"That wedding was messed up," she added.

"I know," I said. "Miss Asahina kept crying." What was really weird was that I just then remembered Mikuru being at the wedding.

Haruhi then complained, "That's not what I mean. I mean, who the hell has a big ceremony at that age? That's just wrong."

"What's wrong is three inches of snow in freaking June," I told her, looking outside.

Yeah. I guess I neglected to mention this, but the air was suddenly cold that day, and I was looking out into the white world, like it was the middle of January, all of sudden.

"What?" she said. "I love snow."

"In the summertime?" I asked, astonished.

"Thanks to that snow," she added, "we didn't have to go to school. Anyway, it's not summer just yet."

"I still got up at seven," I complained.

"I know," she said. "How the hell do you sleep in so late? It's no wonder you're always late to class."

"I didn't know you were so gung ho about getting up at dawn."

"It was great. I got to watch most of that snow storm. It was so romantic."

"If you wanted me up at five, we should have spent the night at your place."

"No way. I'm not letting you near my bedroom."

I then had a sudden memory of us sleeping together, and this statement of hers seemed ridiculous. We can sleep together but I can't enter her bedroom?

"Why not?" I demanded.

"I know you," she answered. "The moment I turn my back, you'd be going through my drawers."

"I wouldn't do that," I stated.

Actually, I would. And she knew it. Damn it. She just wanted a chance to sweep her room clean of offending material, but she wasn't in a big hurry to do that.

"Is your sister going to come home?" she asked.

"Not in this snow," I answered.

"Where is she?" Haruhi then asked. "I thought they'd leave her with you."

"She's at our aunt's," I replied. "Can you really imagine them leaving Sister with me?"

Haruhi then casually added, "Yeah. I'm probably not safe here with you."

She may not have been serious, but I wondered whether she really trusted me all this much.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" I asked.

"I can't spend time with a guy I like?" she complained.

"That's what I don't understand," I explained. "What on Earth do you see in a guy like me?"

She replied, "Idiot. Maybe you're right."

She then smiled and kissed me. It wasn't convincing, but it was great. I think I almost started to believe that she really meant it.

"Just shut up and be happy," she said.

"Okay," I answered. "But now I'm freaked out about this snow."

She then complained, "We hang out with an alien and an esper, and you care about a little snow in June?"

- x -

We then went to the kitchen to have breakfast. The kitchen was large enough that it had a small table you could conveniently use for a small meal like this.

I began to realize that I had spent some time thinking about Ryoko's weird way of viewing people, even going as far as to label all the major colors in my own particular way. Red was fire, green was wood, and blue was water. Yellow, cyan, and purple were rock, paper, and scissors respectively. I like this interpretation, because you could make a weird kind of double-rock-paper-scissors game out of it. It left the color orange as a bit of a mystery, but I decided to leave that as a kind of Joker or wild card in this bizarre game I was creating. I explained all this to Haruhi, adding that this was something Ryoko had inspired me to come up with.

"Interesting," she said. "So, by that reasoning, I would definitely be a red."

"That's funny," I said. "I keep picturing you as purple."

"Purple?" she asked. "No way. That Asakura chick is purple. What about saturation?"

"You mean shades of gray? I don't know. She mentioned it, but she didn't say what it meant."

"I'm guessing that one is a measure of how much personality you have. So, Yuki would be a dark gray."

Yuki does seem to have a distinct lack of personality, so that would kind of fit.

Haruhi then added, "Mikuru is a really light red. Heh. She's pink."

"Nice," I said, getting a good feeling from that.

Haruhi then remarked, "I get the feeling she's heading toward green."

"So, she'll be orange pretty soon?" I asked.

"Yeah," Haruhi answered. "That might be weird. I'm not sure these rules apply to aliens, though. Koizumi is pretty obvious. I see him as a bright gold."

"Yellow," I said, considering that. "Yeah, that suits him."

Haruhi insisted, "He seems like he should have this golden reflective quality, though."

I laughed and said, "You're dreaming."

"And you're a freakish brown," she said. "I can definitely see you slowly turning cyan."

"Weird," I commented. "That's just what Asakura said. Only, she said that she's slowly becoming red."

"Not bad," she said. "A little too simplistic, if you ask me."

"Really?" I asked. "How do you see people?"

Haruhi replied, "I see colors in people, like an aura, but that really tells you more of what kind of person someone is aiming to become. My first impressions are always like a time of day."

"Time of day?"

"Yeah. For example, you and I are both like five in the afternoon."

"Really?"

"Koizumi gives me that same feel, too. You know? Like someone just heading home for the day or maybe going out to eat."

I know Haruhi is strangely sensitive, but this is ridiculous. At least she wasn't stating an exact time of day, like eighteen after five or five-thirty.

I then asked, "So, we're all on the same wavelength? Maybe that's why we all got together."

"See," she said, "that's the problem. Asakura and Yuki don't seem like fives."

"They don't?" I asked.

"No," she answered. "Yuki's more of a noon. Asakura kind of seems like nine in the evening. And Mikuru is really more like eight in the morning."

"So, maybe it's just a coincidence," I said.

"Probably," she answered.

"Or maybe your antenna needs tuning. You know, I kind of prefer Asakura's angle."

"You would. Typical cyan."

- x -

All this color weirdness was making me seriously rethink what I had figured about Haruhi and the others. I mean, I could deny them being what they claimed to be, but there was just no denying that there was snow on the ground, and that kind of thing should not happen in late spring outside of an ice age. Maybe back in the year sixteen hundred or so, you might get a light dusting of snow in the early morning of June, but even that would only apply in the mountains. This was a region of Japan where you would maybe get one or two snowfalls a year, and never outside of the November to February range.

If this was what life was going to be like with Haruhi, I'd have a lot more to worry about than just being labeled a runaway or a trouble maker. People would start avoiding me out of survival instinct if not enlightened self-interest. I mean, it would be great to find out secrets of the universe that would otherwise be unknown to most mortals, but I wondered if it was really worth it. Haruhi seemed to think so, but I was starting to doubt I could really trust her.

We returned to the living room to watch news reports of people astonished at all the snow. That was fun to follow. It beats all the other depressing news, anyway.

"All this wedding stuff has been making me think," she said.

"About the future?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

If there is a future. If someone like Koizumi is a typical person from the future, I think it might be better just to stay in the past.

Haruhi then asked, "You ever think about having kids of your own one day?"

"Do you?" I asked.

"Never," she replied. She then thought for a few moments and said, "Well..."

"I don't think I'd be very good with kids," I admitted.

"Really?" she asked, a little surprised.

I then softly added, "I guess I shouldn't really judge all kids on the basis of just one, though."

"Oh," Haruhi said. She then asked me, "You don't get along with Sister?"

"We get along," I answered, "but I can't imagine what we'd do without Mom."

"I see," she said.

I kept thinking how money would be a problem, but I know Haruhi has a thing about money. That is to say, she hates spending money. I think she's spent more money on Mikuru than me, so far. I guess that tells me where her priorities are. Anyway, I doubt she would have as much trouble as me, so it was probably just as well.

"I think I'd have trouble handling a problem child," I said. "I hate thinking about what might happen."

"You're wrong, you know," she told me. "You'd be really good with kids."

"You think so?" I asked her.

"Yeah," she answered. "I'm the one who'd have problems."

"Why is that?" I asked.

She took a few moments and then admitted, "I didn't exactly have a normal childhood, myself."

Yeah. I already figured that out. Haruhi has a lot of issues connected to her childhood, and they're all extremely abnormal issues. I can't see her relating to a child, though she does act somewhat childish at times.

"So, what's the problem?" I asked.

"I'm just thinking," she answered. "Like I said."

"I think it's a little too soon to be thinking about having kids."

"Is it? What happens if I suddenly decide I want one? That's a scary thought. Especially if I turned around and expected you to raise them."

Had Mikuru put these thoughts in her head? Or maybe it was the wedding? Yeah, I could see that. Haruhi had been reluctant to go to the wedding in the first place because it was making her think along these lines. This is another problem with weddings. They inspire a lot of irrational yearning for a family of your own, especially in women.

She continued, "I don't want to deprive myself of motherhood, but let's face it. I don't think I'm going to be able to provide. You think things will work out in the future?"

"Sure," I replied. "Why not?"

"Man," she complained. "I wish I had your optimism."

I laughed and said, "You're looking ahead about ten years, and I'm the one who's optimistic?"

I hadn't been referring to money, of course. I can't start thinking along those lines and not start seriously considering suicide.

I added, "I'm sorry, but I'm not completely sure about my college options. Assuming I even go to college. Imagine what'll happen when we do go."

"Don't worry," she said. "I'm going wherever you go."

"You sound pretty confident in yourself," I observed.

"You should just worry about yourself," she told me. "I think I can handle a few entrance exams."

That had sounded like a vow, so I said, "So, this practically makes us married."

"You're damn right, it does," she added. "If you even start to think otherwise, I'll kill you."

"I'll take that as a term of endearment," I said, knowing how fond she is of casual death threats.

She then complained, "You should know by now that I'm the jealous type."

"And you're sure you can follow me? Even into a crappy, half-rated college? What'll your father think?"

"You let me handle my father."

"He lets you do what you want?"

"He let me transfer high schools. I think college should be no problem."

Just then, I noticed Sister approaching, and I decided to go outside and greet her. Haruhi followed me, though she didn't have a jacket. She had been using a big quilt and me for warmth all morning.

When we emerged, we looked around, not immediately seeing any sign of Sister. Haruhi then suddenly got hit by a snowball, and that started a brief snowball fight between the two.

- x -

We soon returned inside, along with Sister.

"You walked back?" I asked Sister.

"Sure," she said. "It's not that far."

"You walked through five miles of snow?" I asked.

She added, "It's no big deal."

Haruhi said, "She isn't lazy like you."

No, she's usually even more lazy than me. I guess she just loves snow. Sister then went running upstairs.

"When you're done, come down," I said. "I want to show you some photos."

"Okay," she called back.

"Photos?" Haruhi asked.

I explained, "I got copies of the digicam stuff, yesterday."

"I don't remember any of those shots," she said.

"No," I added. "Those were just for family."

"They didn't take any for fun?"

"They only have so many shots to work with."

"I'll bet you have one of Mikuru."

"Yeah, probably."

- x -

Once Sister had appeared, I forgot all about stupid things like money or reputation, and I realized that just being in love with Haruhi was good enough. She could make life a lot of fun for me, and that's all I really cared about, anyway. I had expressed this affection for Haruhi a number of times, but you're just going to have to trust me on that. I don't think Haruhi would want me writing about the situations that prompted those confessions.

Haruhi likes having fun, but she mainly likes making weird discoveries. This quest for knowledge is something I can relate to. I've been starting to think that you haven't really lived unless you've discovered a few weird things in your life. Considering how small the human brain is, that's not likely going to be difficult, either. Human beings could probably live for a million years and not discover even one percent of everything the universe has to offer. Haruhi herself is enough of a mystery that I could probably spend about a thousand years just trying to figure her out.

Anyway, reputation is what you make of it. If you want to be well-liked, just simply show that you like people. Ryoko is proof of that. Aside from her looks and her charm, she doesn't have any redeeming qualities. She may have been born with her looks, but I doubt she was born with that charm. In any case, her charm makes her more attractive than any amount of looks. I'm sure she'd be the first to agree.

The snow melted that evening, so things started returning to normal. I was in a good mood by the next day, so even Haruhi's hints at wanting to become a mother someday couldn't drag me down. If anything, that just meant that she was finally a normal girl. Heck, maybe motherhood would calm her down. Yeah, right. If that happened, I think I would insist that someone wake me up. If anyone should become a mother, it's that Mikuru girl. She may be a little too young for it now, but she would definitely be a highly suitable candidate as an adult.

At the club room door, Haruhi had left a note instructing us to meet up at the coffee shop. I then turned and went there. Once there, I noticed Mikuru, Koizumi, and Yuki. They were all waiting at a table.

"She isn't here, already?" I asked.

"No," Koizumi answered. "Odd, isn't it?"

"Not really," I replied.

"She will show up, right?" he asked.

I sat down and thought about that. Now that I thought about it, Haruhi had mentioned a few more things just before class had finished.

I said, "She'll be here. Don't worry about it. She had a few things to take care of at school."

Koizumi then asked, "This school we're going to is inconvenient, don't you think?"

"Is it?" I asked him.

"You don't mind riding the train every morning?"

"I've gotten used to it."

"Already? I can't get used to it."

"You prefer to walk?"

"Yeah, if I can."

Haruhi then appeared, beaming her smile all around.

"Hey guys!" she said.

"You're late," I said.

Haruhi sat across from me and said, "Gimme a break. I was only about thirty seconds behind you."

"What are we doing here?" Mikuru asked.

"I'm glad you asked," Haruhi responded. "It occurred to me that we haven't been getting out enough. Being cooped up in the club room isn't going to help us, in the long run."

Koizumi asked, "So, this is a Literature Club activity?"

"Right," she answered. "At some point, we're going to be expected to show some proof of our worth. We really need activities other than just sitting around, reading. I figured we would split up into groups and comb the area, looking for more unusual phenomena."

"Like the snow yesterday?" I suggested.

"Exactly," she answered. "If snow can just appear for no reason, maybe there's lots of other stuff just waiting for us to find. That would help us brainstorm, in case we need to work on our own stories."

"Oh, I see," Koizumi said. "So, this is like a physical exercise in creative writing."

"You catch on quick," she said to Koizumi. "Yeah. Creative writing. Just make sure you find something, all right?"

"Right," he said.

When then drew toothpicks for our grouping. Haruhi had marked a couple of them so that we'd be divided up into groups of two and three. Mikuru and myself drew the marked toothpicks, much to Haruhi's annoyance.

- x -

When we gathered outside, Haruhi glared at me for a few moments, then led Koizumi and Yuki toward one end of town. I looked around at Mikuru and wondered what she would want to do.

"It's okay," I told her. "This will just be fun outing."

"All right," she answered.

"So, where do you want to go?" I asked.

"I didn't have anywhere special in mind," she replied.

I thought for a moment and asked, "You want to check out the museum?"

"Could we?" she said. "That would be great."

"Yeah," I added. "I thought you might like that."

- x -

Allow me to explain: Mikuru Asahina being an alien makes about as much sense as Yuki Nagato being an esper. On the surface, you might be fooled by Yuki's amazing accuracy, but that just convinces me that she's really the alien, if anyone. I had thought for a while that Ryoko was an alien, and that thought became more persistent as time went along. Ryoko was hiding the truth from Haruhi for some weird reason. So, if anyone is a time traveler, it would be Mikuru. Koizumi might be an esper, but I had a feeling he was a really lousy one. Then again, I can't recall any self-proclaimed esper being all that impressive. This just made me all the more convinced, but I wasn't a hundred percent sure. Thus, I suggested the museum to Mikuru.

And, as it turned out, Mikuru was gaga for the museum. She hadn't realized that this place existed, and she spent the whole time running around excitedly, telling me how much she was learning about "this era" and "this time plane" and how deficient history books proved to be in the future. This agreed with what I understood of history books from the present, which convinced me all the more that I was right.

Before too long, my phone rang, and I quickly answered.

"Hello," I answered.

Haruhi asked, "Do you know what time it is?"

"Oh, sorry," I answered.

"Where are you at?"

"I took Miss Asahina to the museum."

"Just get your ass back here. Hurry it up!"

"Right."

I put away my phone and tracked down Mikuru.

- x -

It took a while to drag Mikuru away from the museum, so Haruhi was pretty annoyed by the time we rendezvoused back in front of the coffee shop.

"Finally," Haruhi complained.

"What are you so annoyed about?" I asked.

She answered, "I've had to put up with this guy and his constant observations about changes in the world."

"I apologize," Koizumi said. "I do tend to ramble, at times."

"Like I need that academic crap," she added, "even outside school."

"That's an odd thing for you to say," I observed.

"What?" she said.

"You love school," I answered. "I've never seen you miss a day."

She rolled her eyes and said, "I may like school, but that doesn't mean I like being lectured. Let's go grab something to eat and give this another shot."

- x -

We returned to the shop, had something to eat, and again drew toothpicks. This time, Haruhi drew a marked pick and then Mikuru drew the other marked pick. From the way Haruhi went from being excited to being disappointed, it was fairly obvious what kind of result she had been hoping for.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Haruhi complained.

"I'm sorry," Mikuru said.

"That's not what I'm complaining about," Haruhi tried to explain, although Mikuru just looked confused.

I can't say whether Mikuru was oblivious to what Haruhi had really meant, but from the look on Koizumi's face, it was pretty apparent that he understood.

We then left the coffee shop again, and Haruhi stopped and scowled at me for a moment.

"You better find something, this time," she warned me.

I just smiled at her, daring her to say out loud what she was really thinking.

Haruhi then softly added, "I better not catch you screwing around."

She then left, dragging Mikuru along with her.

"That's pretty amazing," Koizumi said.

"What?" I asked.

Koizumi replied, "She must really trust you, to leave you in our hands."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Well..." he started. "She assumes I'm a time traveler and that Miss Nagato is an esper."

"Yeah," I said. "And?"

He then explained, "We might bump into your mother, or maybe people will see us and start talking. Who knows what an esper or a time traveler might accidentally say and give people the wrong idea."

If Yuki gave someone the wrong idea, I think people would speak more highly of me. Anyway, I rather doubt an alien would be interested in changing someone's mind about me.

"Yeah," I said. "Except that Miss Nagato is actually an alien and you're not really a time traveler."

"How did you reach that conclusion?" he asked.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Not really."

I didn't feel like explaining this, but I really wanted to be sure. In particular, I wanted some clear idea why Ryoko was hiding all this. As we strolled through a nearby park, I began my version of things:

"Haruhi doesn't really like the idea of Miss Nagato and Miss Asakura being espers, but she doesn't like the idea of not having found the kind of people she said she wanted to meet. She's afraid that they're just ordinary human beings, but an ordinary human being wouldn't make the kind of observations Miss Asakura has given us. Not even an esper would talk like she does. It makes a lot more sense to think of her as an alien."

"I see," Koizumi said.

I continued, "Miss Asahina is definitely a time traveler. Just today, she made references to time planes and future eras, and she didn't seem to be aware of what she was saying. So, I guess that makes you the esper, if anyone."

He admitted, "I wouldn't call what I do 'being an esper,' although I do use my psychic ability."

"I don't suppose you can use it right now," I guessed.

"I'm afraid it isn't that convenient," he answered. "My abilities are limited to those places and times when it involves something quite unusual. I'm not even sure what it is, exactly."

"Any idea what that snowfall was about?" I asked.

"I'm probably not the one to ask," he said, glancing at Yuki.

"Miss Nagato?" I prompted.

"That is a good question," she stated. "The answer is something I'm tasked with finding."

"So, that's your mission?" I guessed.

"Yes."

"To figure out where strange phenomena come from?"

"To figure out how."

"How?"

"That's right."

"I don't really understand."

Koizumi then decided to speak up, "I think what Miss Nagato is saying is that she's observing Miss Suzumiya to see how she triggers these phenomena. Phenomena like finding aliens or espers, for example."

"Or time travelers," I added.

"Exactly," he said. "What we observed yesterday was the effect of her will over nature. She somehow created snow. That wasn't an accident."

I stopped, and they stopped and turned to me.

"Hold on a sec," I said. "I was with Haruhi the whole time, and she never once said anything about making it snow. It just happened."

"The whole time?" he asked.

"Since after the wedding," I added.

He had a look of sudden realization then, but it took me a bit longer.

I continued, "She said nothing about school or staying home or anything like that."

He explained, "She might not have needed to say it. I'm guessing she had a good reason to be thinking it, though."

"Oh..." I said, finally realizing what he meant. "Right."

"This is a relief, actually," he said. "I'm glad to see she has an interest in doing normal things. I'm sure Miss Asahina is probably relieved, as well. That is, assuming she is a time traveler."

"All right," I said. "Fine. But, what about now?"

"What about it?" he asked.

"Wasn't it obvious? She just made us split into groups. She obviously wanted to be alone with me."

"That's true. Consciously, she became annoyed at this result. I believe that her power must work at some subconscious level."

"So, she wanted the three of us to be together subconsciously?"

"So that you could verify our true nature. At a subconscious level, I think that's been bothering her. She doesn't realize it, but that doesn't make it any less true."

This all seemed pretty straight-forward. It might explain why Ryoko was being secretive about her true nature, as well. Maybe they had just been testing whether Haruhi's powers really were subconscious. That would explain this situation, but then I realized something else:

"But we could have reached these conclusions without Miss Nagato coming along. Why would she want that?"

"She is demonstrating her trust," Yuki stated.

"Precisely," Koizumi said. "Once again: subconsciously, she wants you to trust her, but she can't do that if she's watching over you. She has to show you that she trusts you."

"Right," I said, highly skeptical. "She trusts me as far as I can get with Miss Nagato being chaperoned by you."

"I didn't say her trust in you was perfect," he admitted.

"How about you, Miss Nagato?" I asked. "Do you trust Miss Suzumiya?"

"No," she replied.

"No?" I asked.

"No, I do not," she answered, very emphatic, but still in monotone.

"Why is that?" I asked.

She said, "Haruhi Suzumiya has left the question of your purpose as a problem to be solved in successive time planes."

"Excuse me?" Koizumi asked her.

Yuki then explained to me, "In this time plane, she has decided to create a family with you, but there will likely be more time planes with less certain outcomes. For example, in the time plane after the next, I deduce that she will attempt to rival with Mikuru Asahina for your affections. Whether she will succeed in that endeavor is beyond my ability to calculate."

"That's..." Koizumi started.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked, completely dumbfounded.

"No, I'm not," Yuki answered. "Trust me."

I said, "So, this explains those previous 'worlds' that Asakura was referring to." It still made no sense, though. Time planes or worlds, it was still too freaky.

"Oh, I see," Koizumi said. "So, this is the result of Miss Asahina's interference."

Yuki added, "The second time plane was the result of her sole interference. The third was created by her and Haruhi Suzumiya. This one was created by my superiors. They have taken an active role in deploying Mikuru Asahina."

"Why on Earth?" Koizumi asked her.

She replied, "In each time plane, we encounter the difficulty of not having solved the problem of Haruhi Suzumiya's abilities before her death. Therefore, these time planes serve that purpose."

"I see," he said.

It then hit me, and I complained, "A family...? Oh, man."


	20. It's Gonna Get Better

- Chapter 5: It's Gonna Get Better

The thing about school is, aside from its intended purpose toward preparation, it somehow puts you in a frame of mind to focus on romance. Even if all you do is chat with other people, there would be this underlying notion going on that the primary effort involved (for us) is some form of romance or another. Merely being a teenager wouldn't do that. The demands of the world would have rendered us teenagers into mindless drones of the workforce had it not been for school, and teenage hormone-fueled angst would be regarded as a disease to be rid of. Schools could learn to focus more on the arts and physical disciplines, but something is still better than nothing.

I especially like the fact that Mikuru seems to be from the future. That seems to me like a glowing endorsement of my ideas of what the future should be like, assuming she's a relatively ordinary person from the future. The fact that she can take time from her own duties in her present to observe the past in a very intimate way such as this bespeaks a kind of freedom that I think any teenager would trade their dearest personal collection to have. For her to invest this much time in the past would be indicative of a kind of schooling that gives them the kind of freedom one would need to learn properly. It's undoubtedly a better system than we have today.

I don't think it would be a good idea to leap into that kind of change, though. There's still the question of how we might have to venture out into the world minus a good college education, and many people still don't even get a good middle school education. The real problem is the world itself isn't ready for improved education, and I doubt people in general are ready for the world to be improved. I'd love to be proven wrong about all this, but I highly doubt I will be.

Why am I going on and on about schooling? I was about to encounter an event that made me wonder a lot about the significance of school, and I wanted to reflect on not just how dangerous school can be, but I also wanted to reflect on all the benefits of school. It occurred to me that school presents this situation where we have to make a choice of just how social a creature we want to be. That probably had something to do with it.

At the time, I had a lot on my mind, when we returned home. My mind was in a similar state to this. I insisted that Koizumi have a chat with me, as he seemed like the one person who I could probably relate to in all this weirdness. As we approached Haruhi's house, I prepared to think about what I would ask him.

"I'll see you later," I told Haruhi.

"You got homework?" she asked.

"I need to talk with this guy," I answered. "It's just some school stuff."

"Okay," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

We watched Haruhi disappear into her house and then I turned to go home.

"So, what's up?" he asked.

"You mind?" I asked. "It'll just be for a bit."

"No problem," he answered.

- x -

We went and relaxed in the living room. It was nice to see that I could bring someone here who wasn't female, and I realized that I'd been superstitiously thinking that the house might vanish had I done that. Koizumi didn't waste any time, but anticipated all my questions, concisely explaining the weird cult that he had joined and what his weird duties were.

His easygoing manner and his casual nature were in stark contrast to the situation he described: strange, bluish creatures would suddenly attack the world for no particular reason, creating a small, limited world of their own he referred to as "closed spaces," wherein they would express that aggression. Left alone, those spaces would expand until the world might come to an end, so he and his associates would confront the creatures. They would dismember these "celestials," the closed space would disintegrate, and the world would return to normal. All this would happen invisibly to normal people, leaving them and the world untouched.

One might begin to wonder if it wasn't all in their imagination, but he explained that normal people sometimes get caught up in those spaces. That must make for entertaining drama, but it would also help confirm to themselves that their strange dilemma was all too real, as well. He had some ideas about how it all worked, but I won't repeat them here. Suffice it to say that he basically thinks of Haruhi as a god.

"So," I asked, "she's like a deity to you guys?"

"I guess so," he admitted. "It's all just speculation, so..."

I then thought for a moment and added, "You don't agree with Miss Nagato's version, I suspect."

"We have been known to disagree," he answered. "Sure."

"Is fighting with celestials such a big deal?" I asked.

He repeated, "It would mean the end of the world if we didn't."

"How do you know all this?" I asked.

"I don't know how we know," he answered. "I just know."

"Maybe it's like how Asakura knows me so well," I guessed.

"Maybe," he said. "I feel like they aren't wrong about previous time planes. Maybe I can sense a bit of that subconsciously, myself."

"That might be one of your powers," I pointed out.

"Possibly," he said.

"I don't have any of that, do I?"

"I would know if you did."

"Okay."

"We espers can sense others. That's one of our normal powers."

"Interesting."

This was all said to me in the strictest of secrecy. Back in those days, he had a stellar reputation, and he really wanted to keep it that way. It was rather amusing to me that he could do the kind of things that Haruhi would love to witness, yet still keep his reputation intact.

"You mind if I ask something personal?" he asked.

"No," I answered. "Go ahead."

He then said, "You didn't seem too thrilled about Miss Suzumiya's intention of starting a family. You object?"

I explained, "I still think of myself as young, actually."

"It's just too big an adjustment right now?" he guessed.

"Yeah."

"I see. You had me a little worried."

"I'm still getting used to the idea of practically being married."

"Okay. Well, I see I was worried over nothing."

- x -

Later that evening, I was reading in my bedroom. It was just one of my collection of comedies. I've probably read that particular book about fifty times. About halfway into it, I got a call from Haruhi.

"What's up?" I answered.

She replied, "Just wondering what you were doing."

"Reading," I said.

"You want to do something?" she asked.

"Jeez," I said, thinking that it had only been a couple days.

"Okay," she quickly relented. "I should have expected that."

"Wait," I said, realizing. "You'd actually let me go over there?"

"Yeah," she agreed. "What was I thinking? I lost my mind for a moment."

"You should chill out. Just play a game or something."

"You're right. Say, what did you think of Mikuru?"

"She seems to like the museum."

"She would. She's a total history buff."

"I think she likes school more than the rest of us put together."

"Even more than Koizumi?"

Koizumi likes school? There's a strange notion. He might find it useful, but I doubted liking had anything to do with it.

"You get that impression from him?" I asked.

"What?" she answered. "Doesn't he like school?"

I replied, "My impression is that he likes academics, but he really hates school."

"Weird," she said, and I wondered which one of us she was thinking was the weird one.

"You're still dazzled by his looks, aren't you?"

"No."

"Yeah, right."

"He just seems so friendly with everyone. How would you get hating school from that?"

"Maybe it's just socializing that he hates. Yeah, I could see that."

- x -

You guys know how dreams work, right? Right. I'm not going to insult your intelligence with some explanation. I'll just admit that I'm not sure whether this was just a dream. I mean, I have some pretty vivid dreams. That's not the problem. The problem is I can never really be sure of things once enough time has passed.

For example, I remember having this weird dream about a cute girl who kissed me right on the lips. I was about ten at the time, so I just assume it was a dream. I'd hate to think that really happened because that would just be too weird. You know what I mean? I mean, as much as I would love for it to be true, what would that tell you about girls that age or about society in general that people would allow that to happen? That's just wrong, right?

Anyway, there was this other time a little over a year ago. It was toward the end of winter, so it was more like a year and a half. I had just had a long argument with my mother, and I took a walk to go clear my mind. I ended up in the park somehow and sat at a bench. I've had this habit of falling asleep in odd situations, and this was no exception. It was more like a nap, though. I was completely out of it until later that evening, when this girl came along and sat next to me. I wasn't really awake, but I was aware of her sitting next to me. It was weird, but I'm not sure how else to describe it. I just knew, okay? Well, she just starts talking to me after a while, and she admits a whole lot of weird things to me that I can't remember. One of the things I remember her admitting was that she really hates socializing, and that makes her dread going to school. Several long moments later, she said that she was in love with me, and then she leaned toward me like she was going to kiss me, but then I started to become fully awake. The girl had turned out to be Haruhi.

I had thought all that weird stuff she had said was just a dream, but now that I think back on it, it makes a lot more sense. In particular, after what happened when I suddenly found myself sitting near the entrance of the school in the middle of the night in my uniform. I saw Haruhi there, in her uniform as well. Why we were here at all was a mystery, but it would be far too strange to just leave things the way they were. I went to her and shook her awake.

"Hey!" I said. "Wake up."

She got up and looked around, saying, "What the heck? Where am I?"

"At the school, I guess."

"Right. But why?"

I thought about it for a moment and answered, "I think this is another one of those unexplained phenomena."

"This looks really weird," she said.

I looked around, and I noticed that there was a strange ripple effect all around the edge of the school grounds. It was a bit like a bathroom door with its translucent bubbled glass, only there were streaks of blue and red running through it like a kind of plasma, and the bubbles were constantly moving.

I followed Haruhi to the entrance, and I watched as Haruhi put her hand to the effect. She pressed up against it like it was some kind of wall, and she was completely unable to even nudge it.

"What the heck?" she softly asked.

"Maybe we should check out the school," I suggested.

- x -

We walked through the darkened school in a daze. It was empty of people, though everything else was still there and the light switches worked fine. After wandering around for some time, we came to the club room and entered. It was just as empty and dark, and that somehow made it all seem so wrong. It was like we had entered an evil parallel universe.

"It's freaky," I said, switching on a light.

"No kidding," Haruhi agreed. "How on Earth did this happen?"

"How the heck should I know?" I complained.

She then said, "I'm going to take another look around. You stay here."

Stay here? I looked at her like she had just lost her mind.

Haruhi then added, "Just going to see if I can find something to eat. I haven't had anything in a while."

"Oh," I said, calming down a bit, "okay."

Looking at everything in the club room with a light on in the darkness kind of gave everything a weird newness that made me take a fresh look at it. The books were all the same, though they seemed larger and more colorful, somehow. The table seemed bigger, and the computer seemed a little newer. It was weird.

I sat in the chair and tried turning on the computer, but it didn't come on, though the fan for the power supply kicked on. I had thought the monitor had gone out until I took a good look at it and noticed a blinking cursor in the upper left corner. I then briefly thought someone had hacked it until I saw a message appear:

"Please do not respond to this message."

"This is weird," I told myself, but then I looked around and didn't see any cameras, so I just assumed that this was a real message from someone.

The screen then briefly cleared, and another message appeared, "It's important that you not respond. Unknown forces may be monitoring your movements."

"Okay," I answered, wondering if that counted as a response.

Another message then appeared, "I apologize. It was not my intention to get you involved in this."

I briefly thought that the computer had come to life, but then I slowly realized that this was Yuki somehow using the computer to convey this message to me.

The screen cleared and then another message appeared, "When I become self-aware, I start to view Haruhi Suzumiya as a kind of mother figure. The possibility of her producing children creates erroneous data in my awareness."

"What the?" I said, not sure what half of this was really telling me.

The message continued, "I passed up the chance to stop this. I have no excuse for my inaction. In your view, I will have failed. I feel that you should understand why."

"So, this is..." I said, starting to piece together that this was Yuki explaining why I was in some weird kind of alternate space.

The message continued, "Ryoko Asakura may accomplish our mission, but the likelihood of her success is low. It will be lower if you resist. I'll leave that choice to you."

The choice between what? I didn't see anything that explained that, but then that message suddenly disappeared and was replaced with:

"I enjoy the time we share."

I then suddenly noticed Ryoko, who was looking over my shoulder. She scowled and said, "Sheesh. And she calls me a drama queen."

"Whoa!" I said, very surprised. "Miss Asakura?"

"Hello," she said.

"You know what's going on?" I asked.

"Of course," she replied. "I am the one who created this space, after all."

"You did this?"

"Pretty impressive, huh? I spent a long time doing all the calculations for this."

"Why on Earth?"

"Well, as you humans are fond of saying, 'If you want to make an omelet, you have to a break a few eggs.'"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I guess it means what it says, don't you think?"

Yeah. It means that the vendetta is on, and now it's ass-kicking time. Whatever all that's supposed to mean.

"Okay," she added. "I admit I'm doing this for purely selfish reasons, but you tell me: Am I wrong?"

"About what?" I asked.

She then asked me, "Doesn't it annoy you when Miss Suzumiya changes the rules on you?"

"She does?" I said.

Ryoko frowned at me and added, "You've never noticed the many times she just arbitrarily changes the rules for any given situation? I mean, come on! You think it's fair to have snow in June?"

"I guess not," I answered.

"And that's just the slightest thing," she complained. "She changed the name of this club, you know?"

"She did?"

"Yeah. It's the 'SOS Brigade,' now. And it isn't for literature. It's a club devoted to finding strange phenomena. She didn't even tell you about that, but it's all on that web site. And that computer?"

"Yeah?"

"She stole it from the computer club president."

Yeah. That was about what I expected. No surprise there.

Ryoko added, "Then she lied about that to you. She lies to your mother, constantly. She likes reading a certain type of books, too. Didn't Miss Nagato tell you?"

"I don't care about all that," I said, rolling my eyes.

"She still secretly likes Koizumi," Ryoko told me. "Are you okay with that?"

"I don't believe that," I said, sneering a bit at myself.

"It's true," Ryoko said. "Why would I lie to you?"

She would lie, but I think I'd probably notice if she did. She is a pretty lousy liar. Good thing Haruhi sucks at picking up on that, but then Haruhi might have figured that out by now. Anyway, Haruhi wouldn't like Koizumi in anything more than a superficial way. I was just being stupid to not realize that sooner.

"Face it," Ryoko said. "She might have earned your affection, but I'll be damned if you tell me she earned your respect."

"So, you want to get even with her?" I stated the obvious.

"That's right," she answered.

"She changed the rules on you?" I asked.

Ryoko replied, "Let's just say that she really humiliated me. I've been dying to pay her back for that. You understand how that feels?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "And I did agree with you, before." It was annoying, but she did have a point.

"That's right," Ryoko insisted.

For a couple long moments, I just sat in the chair with my arms folded and considered. Resist? Why? What good would it do? Anyway, what could she do? Why drag us out to the school?

"So?" I asked. "Now what?"

"Well," she answered, "now you take a little nap."

"Okay," I said.

"First," she softly added, "let me tell you that it's a real pleasure for me. I mean, it isn't everyone I know who plays fair and keeps their word, like you do. I really admire that."

"Thanks," I said, not too happy about all this.

"You're welcome," she said, very cheerfully.

- x -

I then felt like I was half-awake while the school crumbled around me, I then blacked out. The next thing I knew, Haruhi was shaking me and yelling at me. Good thing I wasn't seriously injured. She might have killed me.

"Oh my God!" she said. "Don't scare me like that."

She then hugged me, and I tried to get my bearings. I looked around at rubble and a number of walls that were only halfway standing.

"What the heck happened?" I asked, pulling away from her.

"It must have been a gas leak or something," she explained.

I then smiled and asked her, "You sure you didn't get bored and blow it up, yourself?"

"How can you joke at a time like this?" she asked, a little astonished at me.

"Sorry," I said. "Just... Why are we still...?"

A few moments later, we were back at the entrance of the school. The school itself slowly reappeared back in its usual condition, reassembling bit by bit.

"Okay," I said, "that was even weirder."

Haruhi then complained, "I think I've hit my limit on strange things. I really wish things would go back to normal."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," she softly answered. "I wish I had our old world back."

"That's different," I softly remarked.

I looked around, but it seemed like the world had gone back to normal. Haruhi was still upset, and she began crying.

She continued, "I'm just realizing that I liked the way the world was. I liked the club and even Mikuru."

"You like the 'SOS Brigade,' huh?" I asked.

"How did you know about that?" she asked me.

"A little birdy told me," I said, standing up. "Plus, you did put it on a web page for all the world to see."

"I guess that wasn't too smart, huh?" she said, wiping her face.

I brushed myself off and looked at her. I just couldn't take her seriously when she looked like this, upset and nervous.

"What's stupid is what you did to your hair," I casually remarked.

"What are you talking about?" she asked with that funny scowl again.

"Your hair," I answered. "You know? When you tied it back into a pony tail, I really liked that."

"A little late for that, now..." she commented.

I couldn't resist anymore, so I kissed her. She could see it coming, and she didn't look like she hated the thought. I was almost convinced it was a real kiss, but not quite. I may be a romantic, but I think I can only carry Haruhi so far in that respect.

- x -

I then suddenly found myself back in my own bed, and I convinced myself it was just a dream. I was convinced it was a dream until I went to school the next day and I saw Haruhi checking herself out in a full-length mirror near the shoe lockers, holding her hair up in different pony tails. She then stopped in disgust and continued on to class.

After class, I went to the club room, and I noticed Yuki was there, reading.

"Hey," I said. "I was meaning to ask you something."

"What?" she asked.

I asked her, "Did I just dream what happened last night?"

I'm not sure I want to know what Freud would think of a dream like that. He'd probably conclude that I have some weird passive-aggressive tendencies toward Haruhi or something.

"I mean," I added, "it seemed pretty real, now that I think about it."

Yuki then stated, "You and Haruhi Suzumiya were taken away for twenty-five minutes."

"Oh, okay," I said.

"I failed to stop it," she added.

"No harm done, right?" I asked, hoping to cheer her up, but it's impossible to know whether I've done that. I've never seen her smile.

"It was quite pointless," she answered.

"You didn't get anything out of it?" I asked.

She replied, "We received an explosion of data."

"It wasn't enough?"

"It was plenty of data, but it was all the wrong type of data. As I suspected, Haruhi Suzumiya can only react to perceived tragedy with displaced affection. Ryoko Asakura was hoping for a reaction with a wider spectrum."

"But Miss Asakura got her revenge, right?"

"She had her revenge, before. This action of hers was a futile gesture. I suspect that her animosity will only continue to build."

"Sheesh."

"As you have noted before, revenge is childish."

This reminded me of something Yuki had admitted via that computer message. Haruhi doesn't think much of her ability to raise children, but Yuki had already started to view her as a mother.

"Speaking of children..." I started.

"What?" she asked.

I answered, "I guess you might start to see me as a kind of father."

"No," she immediately stated.

"No?" I asked.

"I refuse," she added.

I guess I could understand. Changing fathers can be pretty tough. There are all kinds of trust issues and such to deal with.

- x -

Yuki's attitude is pretty high noon, at times. It makes her hard to understand, but then that's her business. Whatever. I like it that we don't all have the same feel and we don't have the same personality. What would be weird and boring is for all of us to be clones or something. I can't even imagine that. I especially hate the thought of knowing absolutely everything about someone. That would just completely spoil the fun.

Nevertheless, I invited Haruhi to join me for something to drink at the coffee shop by the station after club, and I resolved to tell her quite honestly exactly how I felt about her, and then give her the full story on Koizumi. I didn't want her to have some weird, lingering affection for him, so I made sure to give her all the gory details. I then explained to her about Mikuru being a time traveler and Yuki being an alien, and she was more than ready to receive that bit of news after being told that Koizumi's organization considered her to be some kind of deity.

For me, this whole thing is a matter of choice. I like the idea of aliens, so I choose to believe that, though I'm not too crazy about their "time plane" notions. I like the idea of time travelers, but I can't really see how they could change the world so drastically. That just seemed wrong. I even like the idea of espers, although I dislike the way Koizumi describes it. He must be crazy if he thinks I'm going to just believe all that.

- Fin

- x -

- Extra

- An explanation

Kyon and Ryoko are watching as Yuki's message continues on the computer. He watches in amazement, as a huge wall of text goes scrolling by.

Computer: I have no explanation for my inaction, with respect to your situation. The school provokes a variety of erroneous data in my awareness. I become aware of my vulnerability to what you would term an emotional response. That response is in conflict with my duty to discover Haruhi Suzumiya's abilities. Since the beginning, I have been recording all observations and contributing to the archive in an effort to reach that goal. I have enjoyed the challenges involved, and I look forward to the changes that I perceive every day. I do not need motivations beyond my duty to observe. I understand that my purpose is not purely to merely observe, but to create interactions that make observations a useful service in this achievement. Nevertheless, this situation threatens to make me aware of the deficiencies in my ability to parallel human capability. I lack the ability to satisfy the need of humans to reproduce. I know this data is not necessary in this time plane, but in order to explain how this inaction relates to myself, I feel that you will need to perceive it. This data did not simply appear at this moment. From the start of my observations of your interactions with Haruhi Suzumiya, I began to notice an increase in this data. When you interacted with Ryoko Asakura, I started to become aware that my inadequacies were affecting my judgment and took steps to guard against that data, as I know from previous encounters that such data could prove to be problematic. When you encountered Mikuru Asahina, the possibility that this time plane could shift into an unusual state became available, and that provoked data regarding the possibility of mutual purposes. The danger had increased exponentially. My involvement became a threat as well as a benefit to our shared goals. The possibility of Ryoko Asakura's foray into the production of Haruhi Suzumiya's data while using that incident to her advantage toward an erroneous goal began to evoke the notion of a possible similar foray into production of data via a conflicting purpose with Haruhi Suzumiya. That possibility provoked more erroneous data of mutual dependence and shared will, and that data conflicted with the need to reduce data disturbances. By the time I became aware of Ryoko Asakura's disruption in the spatial data plane, Haruhi Suzumiya's guardian data units had already been...

Ryoko: What did I tell you?

Kyon: Sheesh.

- x -

- Gratuitous bits from an imaginary author

Author: I get the feeling this was the Melancholy satire.

Proofreader: What was your first clue?

Author: That Haruhi intro, of course. That was precious.

Proofreader: I think you meant to say Princess.

Author: Where the heck did that come from?

Proofreader: Just some verbal parity I'd been wanting to make a stab at since the beginning.

- x -


	21. Future In the Past

Origins of Haruhi - Higher Education

- x -

- Foreword

I should preface this volume with some pithy thoughts, since it occurs to me that I wouldn't want the reader to take this material too lightly, or at least to think that I wish for them to take it lightly. And it's not so much because Ryoko Asakura is standing nearby, looking over my shoulder as I write this as much as the fact that I sincerely hope the reader can appreciate how strange and inexplicable this story is for me. With that in mind, allow me to quote the underrated George Santayana (noted Spanish philosopher and poet), and not the saying you're probably thinking. Skepticism, like chastity, should not be relinquished too readily. It's hard for me to disagree.

That said, there's something compelling about rushing into a startling revelation, and that could cause a lot of innocent mayhem, though it's understandable that you'd want to keep the details mostly to yourself. I strained for quite some time to edit this book into a form that I think will be acceptable for everyone involved, given that the reader is willing to be open-minded and not assume that anything they read applies to our own reality.

I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that you remember what led to this story. This is a variation caused by a temporal paradox, a propitious accident that resulted in the fulfillment of many miraculous events. The temporal paradox, in itself, was intended to create a further world where the fulfillment of certain events waited in anticipation of this transitional world's ending. Yuki Nagato pointed out to me the irony of this fifth world: that it ended after a long period of unexpectedly peaceful and joyous achievement, all of which the Data Integration Thought Entity came to despise.

The first version of this book came to me from Miss Asakura's own hands, and it contained a long, detailed account of my experiences through high school. That information has mostly been rendered superfluous by "Improvised High School," a work that I hope to piece together with information supplied by Miss Nagato some time in the near future. It's actually quite interesting, although it doesn't contribute much toward my efforts to explain all the temporal paradoxes that exist in this time plane.

Before you start thinking that this time plane was pointless, I should mention that this was really the first time I was given any real freedom, and this not only set the tone for later time planes, but became a kind of foundation upon which the later time planes were laid. There was a great deal of tension between myself and everyone who tried improving my life, and I later learned that there was almost an all-out war between the radicals and the moderates over what happened between Miss Nagato and myself. If there's one thing I've learned from this story, it's that you can't really trust your perceptions. The things you believe may be very distant from the truth of the matter.

- x -

- Chapter 1: Future In the Past

Let me start this chapter by first saying that I don't really think I'm all that special. I'm a pretty average kind of guy. I have average hair, average clothes, average intellect, average prospects for the future, and a general, overall feeling of being extremely average. I'm not one to linger on it or to get too depressed about it, but it is undeniably true. The only interesting thing about me is how casually everyone treats me, and not just the fact that I let people call me "Kyon." I've noticed that I tolerate a lot of abuse from my friends, my teachers, my parents, and even my little sister has gotten in the habit of walking all over me. This should help you understand how it was that I was instructed to go join the literature club, so I went and did as I was told.

It's not so much that I'm a pushover for Ryoko Asakura or that I like her particularly. I just simply had nothing better to do with my life. Yes. I am just that boring.

Even so, I have to admit that there's a kind of beauty in this simplicity. Asakura told me to go, so I went. Nothing in me discouraged me from wanting to join the club. Indeed, I often wondered whether Asakura had had any ulterior motives for sending me there, but that just seems ridiculous. The most likely explanation for it was that it was a nice, mid-April afternoon. The air was starting to turn warm, and the obligatory cherry blossom rituals were in full swing, so it would be a little weird to not want to join a club. I was in a terrific mood, so I probably would have joined her even had she invited me to go jump off a bridge with her to our deaths.

That said, this wasn't an invitation to join her. This was just a command delivered to me, and it occurred to me that it would be a little strange if I found her waiting at the literature club. So, it was not surprising when I entered the literature club and discovered a perfectly ordinary girl was the only one waiting for me there. She even had that cliched bookworm look to her that bespoke someone who you'd expect to constantly be reading, and I'm not just saying that because I saw her reading at the time.

The room was a pretty average club room: just large enough for one decent-sized table, surrounded by chairs, with windows facing the schoolyard. There was one chair on the far side of the table, and two chairs on each side of the long ends. The glasses-wearing girl was sitting on the far left side (from me), and the door itself swung inward in a typical western manner. I took a moment to notice how the door could lock, between noticing the chalkboard on one side and the selection of books in the shelves on the other side.

"Hello," I said. "Is this the literature club?" The girl nodded, and I added, "Oh, okay. I like to be sure about this kind of thing."

"About what?" she asked.

I answered, "Asakura said to join, but I don't think she's a member, is she?"

"No," the girl replied.

"That's too bad," I said. "Any idea why?"

"No," she replied.

You may be wondering why I haven't introduced myself. That's because it never occurred to me that I should introduce myself. I have a tendency to neglect noticing little things like that, and I often find myself being corrected by others for my tardy manners. This girl, however, did not seem to place etiquette too terribly high on a list of her priorities.

"Okay..." I said. "So, why did she suggest joining this club?"

"Boredom," the girl answered.

"She was bored, you mean?" I asked, to which the girl nodded. I then asked, "Does she know you? I mean, I just had that impression."

"Yes," she answered.

"You knew each other in middle school?"

"We are related."

"Okay. I see..."

I took another look around, and I had a moment to appreciate the way the sunlight was at just the right angle to create a feeling of calm and warmth in the room. It would seem strange to not want to just sit down and read, but something in me wasn't content with the idea, just yet.

"So..." I said, "What happens in this club? I mean, other than reading?"

"Writing," she answered.

"Writing?"

"Writing."

"You mind if I bring in a few games?"

"No."

"I mean, it would get awfully boring if all we did was read and write."

"Yes."

"I imagine the student council would probably frown on it, but what else are you going to do, right? I mean, we can't exactly watch films, listen to music, shoot photos. You know? The kind of thing you might expect for brainstorming."

"Yes."

I then noticed how the girl had stopped reading, and was just waiting for me to continue speaking. It was an odd sensation, and I suddenly felt obligated to offer her back her serenity.

"Am I bothering you?" I asked.

"No," she replied.

I added, "I don't normally go on and on like this, but..."

"I understand," she answered, and I noticed for the first time how flat and monotone her voice was. She then surprised me by pointing to the table. I then noticed a piece of paper, sitting there.

"Oh..." I said, taking a more careful look at it. "A sign-up sheet? I should probably do that, huh?"

"Yes," she answered.

I then sat at the table and started filling out that form.

"What do you like about the literature club?" I asked her.

"Reading," she answered.

"So, you like to read, huh?" I asked.

She replied, "Yes."

"You enjoy that book?"

"Yes."

"What do you like about it?"

"It's unique."

"You like space battles?"

"Science fiction is amusing."

"It is?"

"Nothing is more amusing than what humans think the future holds."

There was something oddly familiar about that, but I then took a moment to notice how this girl and I were the only ones in the room. It gave this situation an odd feeling of expectation, though the girl herself radiated a kind of robotic, thoroughly rational repose that immediately quieted any thought of excitement.

"Shouldn't we have a few more members in the club?" I asked.

"Should we?" she answered.

"Yeah," I replied. "I mean, if we don't have at least five by the deadline, they'll shut us down, right?"

"They could," she admitted.

"Even assuming they don't, I'm not sure I could list this as a club on my college application."

"Why not?"

I had a bit of a pause as I considered that, then agreed, "Yeah, why not?" By then, I had finished filling out this form, and I started, "So, I just..."

"The student council," she answered.

"Oh, okay," I said. "I'll go do that now, while I'm thinking about it."

"Okay," she said.

I took the paper and went to the door, but then it occurred to me that I was neglecting my manners, somehow.

I informed her, "I'm going by the soda machine on the way back. You want anything?"

"A Coke," she answered.

"Coke?"

"Coke."

"Got it," I said. "I'll be right back."

As I left the room, it then suddenly hit me that I didn't even know her name, and I became a little baffled at myself that I had neglected such an obvious thing.

- x -

Yuki Nagato was her name. After I returned with the Coke, we spent some more time speaking, and I discovered a lot of little things about her. Aside from her odd preference in soda, she dislikes conversing with Asakura, though she does rely on Asakura for advice and for speaking to most others on her behalf. She lived in an apartment by herself and seemed to suffer from some weird dissociative disorder. I tried encouraging her to talk about what traumatic incident could have caused that, but she seemed reluctant to talk about it, though she does seem to enjoy talking to me about most things.

It hit me later that Yuki is a somewhat unpleasant person, though I find myself drawn to her. I don't feel as though making her speak to me is some great achievement, but I do feel I've achieved something when I can find out things about her.

Discovery is a marvelous thing, and I find myself gravitating toward it without even thinking. The consequent fancies I have in anticipation make the everyday climb to school a little less taxing, and I think I can even endure the abuses of my friends and family a little better. I mostly find that I like to discover things about myself. For example, this uphill climb to school everyday. It only takes about ten minutes, but I dread the thought of it. I put off going to school for as long as I can, and then I notice the soreness in my feet more than all the other walking around in school put together (which is probably about thirty minutes worth). I hate it, but it gives me a warm feeling inside; much like when I'm nice to my sister, when I clean up my room, or when I end up speaking with Kunikida and Taniguchi over lunch.

"Here's your CD back," Kunikida told me.

"Huh?" I said. I took a moment to remember that I was sitting with them, eating my lunch, and then remembered that I had loaned him a few CDs. "Oh."

Taniguchi then observed, "I didn't know you were a Jeff Beck fan."

"I'm not," I answered. "This is something my mother likes."

Kunikida added, "His mother likes some of that early American music. You know? Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, Moody Blues..."

Sometimes Kunikida gets his British invasion confused with American music, but it's mostly their American success that made them famous, so I'm willing to let it go.

I explained, "My father was a much bigger fan, and he kind of infected my mother a little."

"What's your interest?" Taniguchi asked Kunikida.

He replied, "I like a lot of the guitar work. It's interesting stuff."

"You play guitar?" I asked him.

"A little bit," he admitted.

I couldn't picture Kunikida playing guitar. Something about it just seemed weird, but then Kunikida does sometimes pull out these surprises.

"Is that yours?" Asakura asked, suddenly appearing behind me.

"My mother's," I answered.

"You mind if I borrow that?" she asked.

I almost laughed, but then asked, "Sure, but aren't you worried about your reputation?"

"My what?" she said.

Kunikida then added, "Yeah. If you're seen taking things from Kyon, you could lose some charisma points."

"Silly, silly boys," she muttered. "Like I care about my reputation."

I handed her the CD and thought seriously for a moment about what to say about all this. "Anyway," I explained, "people will just naturally assume that Miss Asakura is tutoring me, and that I'm just giving her back some educational material. That's my story, anyway."

"That's pretty good," Taniguchi softly commented. "Yeah. Sounds believable."

"Thanks," Asakura said, taking a moment from inspecting the CD.

"You're welcome," I said.

We then watched as Asakura returned to her usual circle of friends, making some excited-looking comments between giggling or whatever girls like to do.

"That was unusual," Kunikida said.

"Yeah," Taniguchi agreed. "Who knew Asakura was such a big fan? I'll have to make note of what else you lend her."

"Does Miss Nagato like that style of music?" Kunikida then asked me.

"Huh?" I answered. "I don't know."

"Hmm..." he said, suddenly pondering something terribly pithy.

"How should I know, anyway?" I then asked.

"I just assumed..." he started to say.

"Oh," I interrupted him. "I'm just in that club. It ain't like we're dating."

"Yeah, right," Taniguchi said. "You just spend an hour alone together every day after school. What do you think people are going to say?"

"It's more like half an hour," I corrected him, "and I think she's just a nice, friendly person. There's nothing else going on."

"Maybe I should join, then?" Kunikida asked.

"I don't see why not," I answered.

Kunikida considered for a moment, then said, "Nah. I've always been too eccentric to join clubs. You know that."

"Eccentric?" I asked, trying to picture it and failing.

"Yeah," he insisted. "What?"

"Nothing," I answered.

- x -

After Golden Week, I found myself sitting on a pile of homework, and I began to wonder how I'd catch up, but then I remembered Yuki saying something about enjoying her homework. I asked if she could help me out, and she consequently invited me to join her at her place after five. This innocent rendezvous eventually formed into a study group, though I hadn't counted on that the first time over.

I had just finished catching up on that homework, with some assistance from her, when I noticed she had a TV that she apparently never used. I offered to plug it in and make some connections, and we then sat around watching TV for a while. After about an hour, Asakura suddenly entered, carrying a covered pot of something I assumed was food.

"Oh!" she said. "You have company?"

"Hello," I answered.

"I'm not sure I made enough for three," she complained. "You mind if I go back and get some bread?"

I looked at Yuki to see if she would answer, but she just looked like an annoyed teenager who was staring down a doting mother.

"I don't mind," I offered.

Asakura then smoothly delivered the pot to the center of the table and just as smoothly left, smirking at me for a moment before she left.

"Asakura lives nearby?" I asked Yuki.

"Yes," she answered.

"Interesting."

"It's a short trip."

"Oh, right. You two are related. You're close?"

"Yes."

"That would explain why she doesn't like the literature club."

"She has unusual tastes."

An odd remark for someone who lives in an apartment with bare walls and an unplugged TV, but I just assumed that Yuki was a book-obsessed stoic.

I then asked, "And she likes music? Does she like music in general or just...?"

She replied, "Just popular music from the sixties."

"Right," I said, making note of that. "And she obviously likes school."

"She has many surprising likes and dislikes," Yuki added.

"Is that so?" I asked, not really expecting an answer.

"Be careful," Yuki then warned.

"Okay," I answered. "I wouldn't want to start an argument with her, I guess."

"She is surprisingly capricious," Yuki explained.

"Capricious?"

"Yes."

"I had guessed that, but..."

"I don't mean that she's whimsical or impulsive. I mean, she can be surprisingly lubricious."

I have a good vocabulary, but that word was a bit outside my grasp. I could imagine the smile on Asakura's face widening, as I tried to guess in my mind that word's meaning from the syntax Yuki had used it in (having no tone nor special emphasis to work with).

Yuki clarified, "That is to say, prurient."

"Oh, I see," I said, finally recognizing what she was saying. "She's a slut."

Yuki looked a little annoyed that I had reached that conclusion, but she didn't make any objections, either.

"That is surprising," I admitted.

Asakura then suddenly entered again with a loaf of French bread. "Hello!" she said. "You miss me?"

"Hello again," I greeted her.

She then brought over the bread to the table and sat down with us.

"I hope you two weren't talking about me," she said, grinning.

"Why?" I asked. "You have some deep, dark secret?"

She laughed and answered, "Oh, don't be silly. I'm just playing around."

- x -

The next two months went by in what seem to me now like a blur, although I remember quite a few things happening apart from class and the study group. Suffice it to say that I mostly spent my time reading or playing games in the club room, and I would then spend another hour studying with Yuki at her apartment. You might get the impression that we were dating, but it was only beginning to dawn on me that Yuki really was a girl, and she might even be mostly normal in certain respects.

I have to admit, I really dislike homework, and being able to rely on Yuki was a tremendous benefit for me. I don't know if I'm really getting through to her at times, and she has a habit of employing verbiage that bewilders my incommensurate phraseology. It almost seems as though words themselves intimidate her, and she armors herself with the most impressive-sounding words she can use to counteract them. However, I have a hard time believing that, considering how much she reads.

I also discovered that Asakura is an excellent cook, and she doesn't just cook well. She prepares food that is as vividly tasteful as you might imagine she would make. It isn't the smooth mouthful of flavor that my mother can deliver, but it could easily make you forget anyone else's cooking. I got into trouble a lot with my mother, but she slowly began allowing me to stay at Yuki's for dinner more often, as that was surely less expensive and time-consuming for her.

In spite of all this, I didn't hear a word more on the subject from Taniguchi or Kunikida. None of us put much in the way of special importance into my comings and goings at Yuki's apartment, and Taniguchi didn't even press me on the issue of which CDs Asakura continued to borrow from me. Everything had started to become familiar, and I remember sitting in the club room, playing with an old deck of cards, and thinking that something weird really ought to happen. It was then that I suddenly noticed how Yuki had approached me and was holding out a small slip of paper toward me with some weird scribble on it.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Keep it," she said.

I then took it, wondering what it could possibly mean.

"You may need it," she added.

"Okay," I said, putting it into my pocket. Yuki then went back to reading, and I immediately noticed a knocking at the door.

"Yes?" I answered. "Come in."

The door opened, and in walked this astonishingly beautiful girl. I was instantly reminded of the way Asakura has this outlandish beauty that you would assume could only exist in dreams, but this girl's beauty was more like a sudden realization of some obvious truth or like a feeling of being fully awakened by a soft breeze.

"Is this the literature club?" she asked, her voice descending to me like petals from a cherry tree.

"That's right," I answered.

"Sorry to interrupt," she said. "I'm Mikuru Asahina."

"That's okay," I answered her apology. "I wasn't really doing anything. I..."

She then smoothly interrupted, "If it's okay, could we speak outside?"

"Okay..." I said, suddenly thinking of the paper in my pocket and wondering what kind of trouble it foretold.

We then went to the hallway, and Asahina seemed nervous.

"Is this really okay?" she asked. "I could come back another time."

"It's fine," I answered. "I was bored anyway."

She then took a deep breath and bravely stated, "Before we talk about anything else, I need to tell you something very important, and I need you to listen carefully."

"What is it?" I asked.

"The thing is," she answered, "I'm from the future."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied. "Could we go to the stairway?"

"Okay," I said. "Yeah."

As we went toward the stairway, she mentioned her love of books, and she added that although she had read a lot about my "era," she was still surprised at what she was encountering. I asked her about time travel in general and what her purpose was, but she could only give me vague answers, which made me look at her funny. We then came to a landing outside on the stairway, and we stopped to continue this discussion.

"Yeah," she admitted, "it sounds crazy, but I really have no idea. I just now received my orders."

"What am I?" I asked. "A distant ancestor or something?"

She answered, "I really wouldn't be able to tell you if you were."

"So, why do you need me?" I repeated.

"I have no idea," she replied. "I'm sorry."

"Okay. So, we're taking a trip to the past?"

"To three years ago."

"Got it. Anything I need?"

"Just close your eyes."

It suddenly hit me that this could be a really cruel practical joke, but I then wondered whether it would matter so much even if it was. Still, it did bother me a little.

"What for?" I asked

She explained, "Time traveling can be very disconcerting if you see it happening. Keeping your eyes closed will also reduce the nausea you would naturally feel."

"All right," I said. "Got it."

I then closed my eyes, and I felt her hands on my shoulders, as though she were standing behind me, getting ready to push me.

"Here we go..."

- x -

I had a brief sensation of floating, and then I felt like I had softly landed. There was also a feeling like I had just swallowed a rock, so I began to think that maybe there was something to this time travel business. I opened my eyes and discovered that we were suddenly near the top of a hill. The sky was cloudy, and I began to wonder if I should regret not having a raincoat with me. The hill was grassy, and there was a small forest nearby.

"Whoa!" I said, getting a look around. "I didn't expect this much change. This is amazing."

It all seemed familiar to me in spite of not having the school here. I noticed that Asahina seemed a little amazed, as well.

"This is pretty cool," I said. "I kind of recognize this."

"You do?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "This is the site where the school will be built. I didn't know they constructed it in less than three years."

"There's something wrong going on here," she muttered.

"Really?" I said. "Maybe your history books are just off."

"Maybe," she admitted.

"I've never read a reliable history book," I added.

"I suppose you're right," she said.

Just then, I noticed a woman and a young girl walking up the hill. The woman was holding a folded umbrella in one hand, and the girl's hand in her other. In my excitement, I neglected to think about whether they might be significant. They just seemed to me like a pair of perfectly ordinary people.

"I think we should ask, though," I said. "Just to be sure."

"That's okay," Asahina said. "Actually, I should be able to..."

By then, I had already started to greet the woman, "Hello."

"Hello," she answered.

"Which year of Heisei is it?" I asked.

"Oh..." she answered, suddenly lost in thought. "Well, let me think..."

"Six," said the girl.

"Right," the woman stated. "Six. Thanks, little Haruhi."

"Oh, cool," I said. "Thanks."

Haruhi. There's a not-too-uncommon feminine name. Hearing that reassured me that we were safely obscure, although Asahina looked to be frozen stiff.

The woman then asked, "Were you going to wait for the bus?"

"Huh?" I said, thinking quickly. "Oh... Yeah. Is the stop just up here?"

"Yeah," she answered. "It's right there."

She pointed the same direction as I was looking, toward a small bus stop about fifty feet away from our present location. At that moment, a light rain began to fall.

"Oh my," the woman said.

"I think it's starting to rain," I remarked.

"Good thing I have my umbrella," the woman added.

"Hey," I said to Asahina. "You don't want to get wet, do you?"

Once I saw that Asahina was safely under cover, I went ahead and ran to the bus stop. I stood there waiting for a minute, while the others approached.

"Is it really so mysterious?" the woman asked.

Asahina replied, "I've never seen this place before, so..."

"I was just strolling around, myself," the woman added. "I noticed a bus schedule at a nearby coffee shop here, and I asked myself, 'Why not?'"

"Yeah," Asahina agreed. "Why not?"

"Why not what?" I asked.

"Well..." the woman answered, going to sit at the bench. "It's all rather complicated. You don't want to hear about my boring life."

"Oh, okay," I said.

Asahina once again looked stiff and nervous, and I think she was trying to tell me something, but I couldn't recognize her facial gestures. I turned to the woman and commented, "Lovely day, huh?"

"Oh, yeah," she said. "I notice your friend there isn't too talkative."

"She has a nervous condition," I explained.

"Oh?" the woman asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Little sister here has heart problems."

"Oh my," the woman said again.

"It's no problem," I assured her. "My mom knows a doctor who can do the operation. But, you know..."

"It's going to be scary," the woman said.

"You bet," I agreed. "No big deal, though. I mean, this is her life we're talking about. So, you can understand why she wouldn't want to talk about it."

"Umm..." Asahina said. "Maybe we should..."

"It's no big deal," I told her. "Relax."

"Oh, wow," the woman added. "That must be terrible. I hope everything works out okay."

"Me too," I said. "I'm sure it well."

If I hadn't been so bored a little earlier, I'm sure I would have been taken aback at myself for this story, but I was relishing this. Here was an opportunity you don't get every day.

I continued, "I love my mother, so I completely trust her. She has a good instinct about doctors."

"So, where are you headed?" the woman asked.

"Osaka."

"That far?"

"We have relatives there, so it's no problem."

"Oh, okay. I was about to say... This bus I'm waiting for is heading north, not west."

"I know. I'm just going to rendezvous with my aunt."

"Your aunt?"

"She said she'd meet me here. So..."

"Well, we're on our way to little Haruhi's grandmother. It's not all the way in Osaka, but..."

"Far enough, huh?"

"Yeah."

I felt good about that. It seemed to me like I was being rewarded with meeting a couple of nice people who were just on their way to show respect to their elders. It had been quite some time since I had seen my grandmother.

"That's nice," I said. "Yeah. People should visit their folks every now and then."

"What I mean is..." the woman started, but then a bus pulled to a stop in front of us. "Oh... That's for me." She got up and said to the girl, "Come on."

"Goodbye," I said, as they started up into the bus. "Nice meeting you."

"You sure you don't need any money?" the woman asked me.

"We'll be fine," I answered. "Don't worry about it."

"Okay," she said. "Well, goodbye."

They then went to find a seat on the bus, and the bus began pulling away.

"Are you crazy?" Asahina immediately asked me.

"What?" I said.

"I don't have a heart condition," she complained.

"Sorry," I said. "It was the first thing that popped into my head."

"Jeez," she added. "You realize we're all the way back in 1994. We went back nine years, not three years."

"Oops," I said, chuckling. "Oh, well. No harm done, right?"

Asahina then went and sat on the bench, and she seemed weighted down with worry.

"What have I done?" she complained.


	22. Source of Infection

- Chapter 2: Source of Infection

I've done a lot of crazy things in my life. This wouldn't be the first time. I once spent the afternoon climbing the tallest tree behind the school and jumping off because I thought I could fly if I did it right. I once punched a brick wall, and one of the bricks came flying out the other side. Another time, I went riding down a hill really fast on my bike and hit a rock. I went tumbling for about twenty feet before I completely stopped. The bike got pretty smashed up, but I somehow emerged with only a few cuts and bruises. Looking back at all this, it's a wonder to me that I never once broke any bones. I've had a few strains and torn ligaments, but never any actual breakage.

I guess what I'm getting at here is that I've been pretty lucky. I've been feeling lately (for the past few years) that I've really been pushing my luck, but that somehow doesn't seem to help me learn my lesson. I know better than to do something really crazy like running away from home again, but I don't think my boredom had quite finished being alleviated.

Despite how upset Mikuru Asahina was about my having probably changed Suzumiya's mother's mind about something important she was planning to do, I was still craving more excitement, and I think she could sense it. She therefore was more serious, and she sternly forbade me from opening my eyes until she told me to. We spent a couple minutes at the bus stop, while Asahina did who-knows-what, and I waited with my eyes closed. I'm not sure I even really noticed when we had traveled through time again. I did feel that weightless sensation for a moment, and then I felt like I had landed. Everything was suddenly a little quieter, so it seemed to me like we were out of it.

"Okay," I said, "can I open my eyes?"

"Just a second," she said.

I started to wonder for a minute if this girl really was from the future. It just seemed like we were messing around, like she had no clue what was going on or why, and that seemed really strange for someone supposedly from the future. I had no problem believing we were actually traveling through time. That somehow made a certain sense, but our purpose and our objectives were very unclear. Maybe if she'd spent some time talking about that instead of just jumping head-first into the past, we'd have avoided problems.

In particular, she seemed like she was out of her league in handling people. I mean, here I was, becoming more and more bored with the situation because she had thought that me keeping my eyes closed would somehow prevent anything bad from happening again. She surely had to realize at some level that her idea of how to handle me was just making me more irritated, and that was bound to make this situation even worse. Are people really this stupid about human nature in the future? I began to wonder about that, as well.

"Checking the time, first," she explained. "Don't want to mess something else up."

I sneered and remarked, "Yeah, nothing will go wrong with me blindly groping around."

A few moments later, she then said, "Okay. We should be fine. This is the right time."

I then opened my eyes, and I was briefly blinded by a street light. I then took a good look around at the suburban park scene that had popped up around us. There were trees all around, and several houses shrouded in darkness in the distance, but I struggled to see much beyond ten feet in front of me.

"Whoa!" I said. "It's dark."

"Don't get any ideas," she warned me.

I briefly wondered what she meant by that, as I wasn't about to go running away. That would just be too weird. As much as I like the thought of an adventure, I think time travel in itself might be good enough for a start.

"I mean," she explained, "not that I think you will try anything, but..."

I realized and said, "Oh, like kiss you, huh?"

"Jeez," she complained.

"How would anybody know?" I asked, not even halfway serious.

"I would know," she smoothly answered.

I had a little laugh at that and assured her, "Don't worry. I don't kiss complete strangers. Give me a little credit."

"It wouldn't be that bad if you did," she said.

Suddenly, her meaning became clear to me, and that created an awkward moment. I don't think she really meant that the way she said it (or at least not the way I heard it). I think the lack of seeing her facial expressions was making it difficult for me to judge this conversation properly, so I just cleared my throat and decided to move on.

"So, why are we here?" I asked, getting down to business.

"I don't know," she replied. "There's supposed to be this middle school." She then pointed down the street and added, "It's off that direction."

"So, we need to go stop some trouble from brewing over there?" I asked.

"I guess so," she answered.

The thing about troublesome issues is that it's never as glamorous or as big a deal as you would like to think. Usually, you're lucky if anyone can even remember what happened, so this was just going to be another one of those disappointments. This is experience I'm speaking from. Unless someone was getting killed, this was just going to be another one of those trivial things, and I don't think this girl would be put in charge of something that important.

It was a nice, warm summer night. In fact, it was the same day of the year that we'd left from. I knew this because I asked Asahina, and she informed me. Tanabata, which is on July seventh, is that day all good Japanese people know is a festival involving stars and bamboo. It's a long story. Anyway, some places celebrate it in August, but it depends on where you live. Actually, Tanabata derives its name from the fact that it was originally held on the seventh day of the seventh month as reckoned by the lunisolar calendar, which would usually put it some time in August. Going by the Gregorian calendar, however, July is the seventh month. So, in July it is.

My clothes were still a little wet from before, but that didn't seem to be too troubling. It's not like you can actually catch a cold just from that, despite what your parents might tell you. In any case, I was walking with this extremely beautiful girl, so the last thing on my mind was the condition of my clothes. And hey. Maybe we wouldn't actually find anything strange going on, after all. I like to think this way. It helps me forget about the fact that a girl like this would ordinarily have nothing to do with me.

"So," I said, "what's going on at the school?"

She replied, "It's about a chalk drawing on the school grounds."

"A what?" I said, not quite sure what she'd said.

She explained, "Haruhi Suzumiya draws a weird scribble on the school grounds. We need to go stop that."

"What happens?" I asked. "Does she summon a UFO or something?"

"No..." she answered. "I'm not completely sure what we're supposed to do."

I then said, "You sure we aren't supposed to help? Sounds like it might be fun."

Yeah. She wasn't sure about much of anything. We didn't have much to talk about at that point, and it just seemed to me like Asahina was struggling to find things to talk about, but she would then stop herself. It was a little awkward, but I could understand. You wouldn't want to screw up the past so badly that you were stuck in the past. That might become a reality where you'd cancel your own existence.

Of course, that was just like an invitation for me to talk about whatever I wanted to. Since Asahina had brought up the subject of school, I began to recount my experiences in high school to this point. High school didn't just mean a better, more challenging set of subjects to learn. High school meant a new and improved lunch, which my mother is quite good at making. I graduated from lame little snacks to a decent sized meal once I began eating over at Yuki's. And speaking of Yuki, she was doing a good job of drilling me, though she had started to complain how I was getting on her nerves. This was pretty lousy timing, considering how midterms were coming up soon, but I discovered that I was actually not too bad at studying by myself. It made me wonder what Yuki was so annoyed at me about, but I just assumed it was the usual complaint of my being forgetful, unresponsive or a little too self-centered for my own good. I've heard those kind of complaints from everyone, so it wouldn't surprise me if Yuki had made them about me, too. I forget. Or maybe I just wasn't listening too well when she'd made them.

It bothered me that Yuki was upset with me, though. Seriously? What was it again? I think she had actually said that I was being repetitive and monotonous. That was it. She was exasperated by my slowness and my inability to read at the level she'd wanted me at. She finally threw me out and told me not to come back until I was up to a certain level, which she'd referred to as the "bare minimum" for acceptable reading skill. Yuki seems to me like a person I would enjoy being around, so I've been working hard toward achieving that minimum, but it wasn't going to be a big deal. Then again, this situation did make me study a lot harder than usual.

Asahina was starting to look a little annoyed with me, as well, but then we encountered a gate. It was one of those wide gates that you see a lot of in front of schools, so I also noticed there seemed to be a squarish looking building in the distance. That seemed to confirm what I was thinking.

"Is this it?" I asked Asahina.

"I think so," she answered.

"Seems like nobody is here," I remarked.

"She should show up any minute now," Asahina assured me.

I thought for a moment about that girl I had seen. Haruhi Suzumiya. She'd been bright and apt, and she was very composed. She was a very smart girl, but she didn't need to prove it every ten seconds like most little kids. By my reckoning, she'd have been about seven in the previous time period, which would make her thirteen in this one, and sixteen in mine. A girl that composed might suddenly bust loose and start doing crazy things. Sure. I could see that.

"Are future minutes the same as past minutes?" I asked Asahina.

"I..." she started, then paused for a long moment. "I don't know."

I was getting really bored, so I started climbing over the gate. "I'm going in."

"What?" she said.

I smoothly pulled myself over, landed a little awkwardly, and then opened the gate for Asahina. I wasn't the slightest bit self-conscious, or at least not as much as she was.

"Jeez," she said, as she entered, looking around.

Seeing Asahina like this, looking vaguely nervous and mostly in silhouette, she was even more attractive than in broad daylight. It was very disconcerting for me. I felt as though she wasn't really real. Like I could put my hand through her if I had tried to touch her. And I wouldn't dare try to touch her. That would be like putting my filthy hands right on the bare canvas of the Mona Lisa.

We wandered around the school until finding the field out in the area that seemed like it was behind the school. It was lined with trees in the distance. There were bleachers nearby, and I could barely see a moving shape in the distance when I stopped and looked carefully.

"Is that her?" I asked.

"I don't know," Asahina admitted. "I can't see..."

"Hey!" I called out. "Suzumiya! Don't try to hide. I can see you."

"I don't think we should provoke her," Asahina softly warned me.

"Why not?" I asked. "Sounds like fun."

The girl approached us, and she fearlessly glared at me and Miss Asahina. I folded my arms and looked right back at the girl just as sternly, while Asahina shyly looked away.

"Who are you?" the girl demanded, as if she were a teacher here. "What do you want?"

"Funny thing to be asked by a vandal," I smoothly remarked.

"Oh yeah?" she said, sneering a little. "Well, maybe I am. I'm Haruhi Suzumiya."

"My name is Mephistopheles," I answered, in kind.

"Really?" Suzumiya said, not the slightest bit convinced. "Who's the girl?"

"She's my thrall," I replied.

"What are you doing here?" the girl demanded.

"You tell me," I answered. "You're the one who summoned me."

"Why is that your name?" she then asked.

"Because I don't like light," I answered in a fairly patronizing tone.

"So, I'm supposed to sell you my soul?"

"Oh, I only came around because I knew you were already corrupted. It's too late, now."

"That's pretty convenient for you, if you are who you say."

"Who I am isn't really important."

The girl laughed and said, "That's right. You're just a vassal of Asmodeus."

"So, you have heard of me?" I said, a little pleased that she wasn't intimidated even at the thought of mocking the devil to his face.

"So, where's my reward?" she asked.

"You can pick it up three years from now," I answered.

"Where will I find it?"

"Just go to North High. You'll have to go there alone."

"Oh, I see. You're a student from North High."

"Yeah, sure."

Well, it was a nice illusion while it lasted. I don't think she'd really been fooled, though. She doesn't strike me as the type to be that easily tricked.

"Why should I go there?" she then asked.

"You want your reward, right?" I asked her.

"What is my reward?" she wondered.

I looked at Asahina and answered, "You'll meet a beautiful girl who'll turn out to be a time traveler."

Suzumiya looked at me in a questioning way, and I nodded. She seemed to understand that I meant this girl here was the person in question, and that was the real reason we were here.

"Is that all?" she asked. "What about aliens or espers?"

"Sure," I replied. "Why not? You might bump into a few on the way." My tone in this reply made it clear that I was mocking her a little. She didn't seem too happy at that turn.

"Right..." she said. "I'm going to go home now."

The girl then ran off into the darkness.

"Why did you...?" Asahina started, but I don't think she could have summoned the courage to say the name of a devil. She is a painfully shy girl, after all.

"Well," I replied, "I can't very well tell her my real name, can I?"

She sighed and softly stated, "I suppose not, but still..."

"What?" I asked. "You actually believe in demons and stuff?"

"That was kind of scary," she answered. "I hope you didn't give her nightmares."

"Nah," I said, amused. "She'll be fine."

"What makes you so sure?"

"If she can do all this vandalism, then I'm sure she isn't afraid of things that go bump in the night."

- x -

And that was it. The most interesting thing that ever happened to me, and it was probably about thirty minutes, altogether. Disappointing.

When I returned home after being returned to my time, I went to my room to go sulk for a while about my painfully dull life. I then remembered that piece of paper Yuki had given me, but I had apparently lost it. Funny, though. I can't remember having taken it out of my pocket.

I then had a short conversation with Mom, and she reminded me of a few things, which reminded me of a certain errand I needed to go run.

I went to Asakura's apartment and knocked at her door, wondering what her apartment looked like and whether she was even at home. She shortly answered, beaming her usual smile at me.

"Hello," I said.

"Hey," she casually answered, holding out a CD. "Here's your CD back. You got any more for me?"

I took the CD and put it into my school bag. I suggested, "Maybe you should come over and introduce yourself."

"No, that's okay," she answered. "I wouldn't want your mother to get the wrong idea."

I laughed and said, "I don't think my mother is so gullible she'd think we were lovers."

"Jeez," she said. She then casually added, "You make that sound so impossible."

"Well, come on..." I said, gesturing in an obvious way.

"Okay, I see your point," she softly admitted, getting serious for a brief moment.

I then took out a few more CDs from my bag and handed them to her. "Here you go."

"Oh!" she said, looking at them. "I've got to hear these right away. You want to come in?"

"You don't mind me getting in the way?" I asked, making my obligatory objection.

"No," she answered. "I'd love the company. Come in."

"Okay," I said, entering.

While Asakura put on some music, I had a good look around at her apartment. It was very nice and normal. Nothing at all like the barren emptiness of Yuki's apartment, where any piece of furniture or decor was like an obvious afterthought. Asakura's apartment was obviously decorated with the idea of making a visitor feel dirty in comparison. I felt a little afraid to touch anything, because it seemed like a museum, albeit a very nice and youthful type of museum. The odd thing was that there were no games, no toys, and no sign of any hobbies. In fact, she didn't even seem to have a music collection, which I found the most strange, considering how much she obviously enjoyed it. There was no TV, and her CD player seemed to be her one concession to having a need for amusements. I guess if you enjoyed looking at paintings or sculpture all day, that might compensate, but I'm not sure that really counts.

"You like Diana Ross?" I asked.

"She's great," Asakura answered.

"Okay," I said, casually explaining. "I wasn't sure, since her work is mostly from the seventies."

"Don't you just love that sensual style, though?" she asked.

"Not really."

"What kind of style do you like?"

"I guess I'm more into pop music."

"So, you're into disco?"

Much as I hate to admit it, I probably do measure music by its funk. There's something seriously wrong with that part of my brain, but I guess it's just one of those things.

"Yeah," she said, "I should have figured you for the type."

"What does your mother like?" I asked.

"I..." she replied, thinking for a moment, "...don't know."

"You don't know?" I wondered.

"I never really got to know my mother that well," she softly admitted.

"Sorry if that's too personal," I said, a little embarrassed.

"No sweat," she said. "What's bugging you? You look preoccupied."

"I recently went to the past with some girl named Mikuru Asahina."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. We kept running into this girl named Haruhi Suzumiya. That was weird."

"How so?"

"At first, we went back too far, and then I had a chat with Suzumiya's mother."

"Interesting."

What was really interesting is that nothing had seemed to change. It was starting to bother me, so I continued, "Yeah. Then we went to three years ago, and it seemed like I had convinced Suzumiya to go to North High. It doesn't seem like I was all that persuasive, though. I mean, I did pretend to be a demon she had just summoned."

"She thought she was summoning a demon?" Asakura asked.

I replied, "I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not."

"Time travel?"

"Weird, huh? Maybe it was just a dream."

"That sounds more likely. Don't you want to dance?"

I took a look at her dancing, and it seemed strange how she wasn't bothered by me watching her. I can't imagine dancing with her, though. That's just too weird, so I said, "No, that's okay. I'm not much of a dancer."

- x -

My mother had wondered about Asakura, though she didn't press the issue. It was obvious that Asakura was just a classmate, but I eventually figured out that she'd discovered about Asakura being the one who had cooked for me at Yuki's. I think my sister had come into that information, somehow. Mom was a little jealous that I might consider someone else's cooking preferable, maybe. That seemed a little weird. If she had asked, I wouldn't have hesitated admitting it, and I think she knew that. Which explains why she never even brought up the subject.

Mom had also asked about my school work, and I had proudly presented it. I really didn't have anything to worry about, considering I had already mastered what Yuki had called the bare minimum of reading skill a few days ago. I was a little reluctant to admit it to Yuki, though. I wanted to get as good as I could, so I could really impress her, once she did ask. She didn't ask, though.

In fact, when I went to the club room the next day, Yuki was her usual self. She went through four books and never once even glanced at me, so I just assumed we were passing the time as we normally would.

To my astonishment, Yuki then suddenly asked, "Does Ryoko Asakura resemble your mother?"

"I don't think so," I answered. "No."

That was weird. Had Yuki actually asked me that? I looked at her, and she was looking up at me in expectation, so I had to believe it. How on Earth would she find a resemblance?

"My mother isn't as crazy about music as Asakura," I said.

"A resemblance seemed likely," she insisted.

"Well..." I then admitted, "...okay. My mother does have the same easy smile, and she isn't unattractive from what I hear, but that's where the resemblance ends. My mother is nothing at all like Asakura, personality-wise. If anything, she's much more like that Asahina girl I ran into."

Yuki then explained, "My inquiry was initiated by my encounter with her."

"Yeah, she told me about that," I said.

Yuki had gone over to my house about a week ago. That had been a strange meeting. I wasn't quite sure what to make of it, but I don't think she had impressed my mother very much. In fact, I got the distinct impression that Yuki dislikes my mother. For her to suddenly insist that there was some resemblance between my mother and Asakura could only mean that she suddenly had some weird animosity toward Asakura. Maybe Yuki had heard about my visit yesterday and had been jealous.

"You're worried I might be falling for Asakura, huh?" I asked.

She smoothly answered, "That situation would deteriorate quickly."

"It would?" I asked.

Yuki replied, "She degenerates and rationalizes, then expends her remaining energy in disaffirmations."

"That's weird," I softly remarked.

"She isn't threatening to me," Yuki added in her customary monotone.

"To you?" I said, wondering if she meant that the way I was thinking.

Yuki suddenly returned to reading, so that seemed to confirm what I was assuming. "Okay, I'll just pretend I didn't hear that."

- x -

Later that day, I was sitting around watching TV, when Sister came into the living room. She seemed strangely serious.

"Hey, Kyon," she said. "Could you find someone who can take in Shamisen?"

"What? Why?" I asked.

"Mom's really upset," she answered. "She said she tripped over him again this morning and that she can't put up with him anymore."

"Okay," I said. "So, maybe Mom should find him a new home."

"I said that, but she just glared at me."

I don't imagine Mom would put up with that attitude from Sister any more than she would from me, but I also found it a little surprising that Sister would just tell her that.

She added, "None of my friends can take him. I'm at the end of my rope."

"All right," I answered. "All right. I'll take care of it."

"Okay."

"I'll get right on it."

- x -

I spent the next couple days asking around, and it seemed like no one really wanted to take in poor Shamisen. I'd just about given up hope when Asakura came to me and offered to take him in. I had just assumed that, since she lived in an apartment, she wouldn't be able to take him. Apartments do generally have a rule against having pets, but she informed me that that wasn't a problem for her.

Mom was glad to hear about it, and she supplied me with an appropriate animal case. I then carried over Shamisen to Asakura's apartment. I knocked, and she promptly answered.

"Hello," I said. "Package for you."

"Oh, is that Shamisen?" she asked.

"Yep," I answered, handing her the case. "Here you go."

She took the case and carried it inside.

"Come on in," she said, and I followed without any objection.

"You've got cat food?" I asked.

"Yeah," she replied. "And a cat box, a cat pole, some cat toys, etc. I have taken care of cats before."

"Okay," I said. "Just checking." Asakura hadn't struck me as a cat person, but she really does have a weird affinity with cats.

She then let Shamisen out of his case, and the cat looked up at me.

"Well," I said, "I'm leaving you here, boy. Don't annoy her too much."

"You should visit him," Asakura said.

"Oh?" I said. "No, that's okay."

She then added, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist. Cats always take some time to adjust."

"Okay," I said. "Well, I'll be here every afternoon for a week. How about that?"

"That sounds good," she answered.

It made sense. "It isn't easy moving around," I admitted.

"The little things like this help out," she added. She then reached out and pet him.

"Whoa," I said. "He takes to you faster than he did to me."

"So, how did you decide on this guy?"

"I didn't. My sister found him. I think. I'd have to ask."

Shamisen is a bit of a mystery, actually. I'm not completely sure where he came from or when he joined my family. I'm not even sure how he happened to have that name.

I then casually observed, "I don't think we have anything to worry about. He seems to be warming up to you."

"Affectionate little guy, huh?" she asked.

- x -

The following Monday a few days later was a little on the surreal side. I felt like something really important had happened, but I wasn't sure what it was. Asakura had had Shamisen for a while, and I was starting to get used to the idea, though I was never really close to the cat to begin with. Still, it seemed like there was something I really should have remembered, but then I noticed Yuki was being even more icy than usual toward me at club that afternoon.

I decided to break the ice, and I said, "I've noticed you've been coming over to Asakura's more often."

"I like Shamisen," she admitted.

"You do?"

"Yes."

It then hit me that I hadn't asked Yuki if she had wanted to take in Shamisen. Aside from the whole apartment issue, I had just assumed that she wasn't a cat person, either.

She then added, "Giving him to Ryoko Asakura was a mistake."

"Why is that?" I asked.

Yuki replied, "She becomes overly sentimental and takes his passing too personally."

I took a moment to think about that, then asked, "You mean... cats in general?"

"Yes," she replied.

I then remembered going over to Asakura's in the middle of the night. It was very strange, but she had seemed very glad to see me, and of course I can't resist her.

"She didn't strike me as the sentimental type," I said, suddenly thinking of Asakura as greedy and opportunistic.

"As I stated before," Yuki added, "she has many surprising characteristics."

"No kidding," I agreed, suddenly remembering the phone call last night.

Asakura had called me at two in the morning, telling me that she was afraid of the dark, and that she wanted me to come over and have something to drink with her. I had thought it was a dream or some weird practical joke, but it was all terribly real.

"I know about last night," Yuki then said.

"You heard that?" I asked.

"I saw you from my window," she answered.

I sighed and asked, "It's pretty obvious, huh?"

She warned me, "Be careful that you don't get in trouble with your parents."

"Don't worry," I said. "I am careful."

"Okay," she said.

"I didn't expect her to call me at two in the morning. That was weird."

"She has been exhibiting anomalous behaviors."

"How so?"

"She wouldn't ordinarily share data regarding her fears so readily."

Okay. Just how much do those two share about each other? This was too weird.

"You know about that?" I asked.

She replied, "She confided in me, as well."

"How close are you two?"

"We know everything about each other."

I wondered just how much Yuki knew, but from the weirdly cold way that she was behaving, it seemed to me that Yuki knew everything. I wondered if she understood how cold and unfeeling Asakura was treating me.

"I may have made a few erroneous assumptions," Yuki admitted.

"Like what?" I asked.

Yuki replied, "She may develop feelings of affection for you, if these encounters continue."

Encounters? Was this going to continue? "You make that sound like a bad thing," I complained.

She added, "It would be beneficial for her sake, but you don't understand how serious it could become."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She answered, "If so affected, she would not hesitate to isolate you."

"She'd want to elope?"

"Yes. She has made plans of this nature before, but I've never witnessed her with the will to carry them out."

"I would hope not."

"She has far greater maturity than she admits, and she's never made a secret of her intentions to me."

This all seemed way out of character for Asakura, but I had completely failed to predict what she would be like. So far, Yuki had been right about her, and my neglecting to take heed of her warnings had been extremely unwise. The prudent thing to do would be to hear Yuki out and to listen, this time.

"Okay..." I said. "Now you got me curious. What kind of plans are we talking about?"

She replied, "I'm not permitted to state them. However, I am permitted to ask whether you would be averse to residing in Canada."

"Canada?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"I'm not sure about that."

"You would be amply provided for. You'd have no worries as long as you were willing to be subdued to her will."

Subdued? Okay, that word seemed like a dagger through the heart of the way I had perceived Asakura, but I was hesitant to think that Yuki might be anything other than completely serious and absolutely correct.

Yuki then added, "I value her friendship, but it would also expedite matters if I knew she was preoccupied with something worthwhile."

"You aren't just messing with me because you're jealous?" I asked, and that sounded ridiculous the moment I asked it.

Yuki admitted, "I could be. You're going to have to make up your own mind regarding that issue."

- x -

Between the thirteenth and the twenty-fourth of July, I had had four more "encounters" with Asakura, and it seemed to me that she was becoming more open and more serious at each one. This latest time, I had somehow persuaded her to set up a TV in the living room, and I was currently watching, but I couldn't help but worry that Yuki might have been right about the kind of future I was lining up for myself here.

Okay, here's the problem. I have no confidence in myself. Whenever I'm with Asakura, I just completely lose control. I mean, let's face it. She is really freaking cool. Everything about her just screams to some part of my mind to keep those fires of passion burning, and even seeing her naked (which had just happened for the first time a little earlier today) hadn't doused that. She was currently (wearing a nightie and) checking herself out in a mirror, as if puzzling for herself why that might be.

"I really don't get it," she commented.

"What?" I asked.

She answered, "What do you men find so attractive about the human body?"

Even this oddly oblivious comment was a bit of a turn on for me. I wondered at myself, that this girl could affect me this way, but then I started to think about what she's really like.

"To me," she continued, "it just looks kind of bovine. I mean, come on."

"You don't find yourself attractive?" I asked, a little unbelieving.

"I just can't grasp it," she softly complained.

"You're probably too perfect," I explained.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

I replied, "I mean, you're so close to perfect that you only notice the really subtle problem areas."

Subtle problems. Here was a subject my rational mind was urging me to explore in more depth.

I added, "Most people in general are identical in every significant way."

"Most?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "I mean, unless you're born with a severe birth defect or you have a crippling injury of some kind, there's really nothing special about anyone."

"What a strange, perverse notion," she remarked, smiling casually in her more usual way. "I really like that about you."

This sounded like a last-minute challenge, so it was like a siren going off in my mind. This conversation was about to turn very uncomfortable, either way I could think of to go with it. Either I was about to start plunging into some very deep waters, or...

"You like sex?" I asked.

"No," she answered. "I just have urges, you know, but it's not like I really need it all the time."

"I notice you don't like talking about it."

"It's okay if it's between us, though. I mean, what's the point in hiding it now?"

"Maybe it was better the way it was before."

"You think so?"

It was weird, the way things were now. I found it hard to believe that she could reach a state like this, but I suddenly realized that I had her within my grasp. All I had to do was to reach out and take her, but a part of me told me I would have to be incredibly stupid to actually go through with that.

"Yeah," I said, sighing deeply. "I mean, it was great at first, but it's starting to seem stale. I really hate to feel like this."

"Oh?" she asked. "So, you want to break up?"

"I think we should just stop doing that," I clarified.

"Okay," she immediately answered, very brightly.

"Is it okay?" I asked, not sure I wanted to believe she could be so casual about it.

"Yeah," she insisted. "It's no big deal, right?"

"Right," I said, a little relieved. "That, and I don't really feel like I want to live in Canada."

I faintly noticed it at the time, but she suddenly had a grim and irritated look on her face after I'd said that. It didn't seem important at the time, but looking back...

"It might be nice," I added, "but I'd really prefer to live in Japan."

"Are you falling for Nagato?" she softly asked me.

"What?" I said. "No."

"You don't need to lie to me," she said, very seriously.

"I don't even know where that came from," I remarked.

She explained, "It's just that I've never mentioned anything about Canada. Only one person could tell you about that."

"Oh..." I said, forgetting to be polite about that. "I guess that did slip out."

"Yes," she agreed.

And then she was suddenly all smiles and joking with me again. It was weird to see that serious side of her, however briefly, and I'm glad I made this decision. I often wish I hadn't made that slip of the tongue about Canada, but... oh well.

- x -

The next day at club, I arrived a little early and began reading. Yuki appeared, shortly after that.

"Hello," I said.

"Hello," she answered, sitting across from me at the table.

"No reading today?" I asked.

"I'm agitated enough," she admitted.

Now that she had said it, she appeared agitated. I thought back, and I found that I couldn't remember having seen her this way. It was weird, but this struck me as being a sign of something truly terrible. This might have been from something unrelated, but I felt strongly that it wasn't. I could only imagine what trouble she had gotten into because of my careless slip up, but it seemed odd that she could get into trouble.

A few moments later, Asakura entered the room. "Hello," she greeted me.

"Oh, hey," I said. "You finally decided to join the club?"

"Don't be silly," she answered. "I just needed to have a talk with you guys."

"A talk?" I asked.

She smoothly walked to the head of the table and sat in the chair there, looking as calm and casual as ever.

"So, what are you reading?" she asked.

"It's a romance," I replied. "My sister likes these."

"She does?" Asakura asked.

I held up the book, using my finger for a bookmark. "Look at how thick this is," I said.

"What is that?" she asked. "Like five hundred pages?"

"Pretty impressive, huh?" I asked, then briefly looked for where I'd left off.

"You like romance?" she then asked.

I replied, "It's mostly junk, but it's diverting."

"Junk?" she said.

I explained, "Romance mainly involves lots of traveling, enjoying fine arts, and sitting in restaurants. Just add up the number of scenes with that, and you have a good measure of how girly a book is. I think this book probably rates around forty or so."

"You score them?"

"No. Just a guess, really."

"Oh."

"My mother has a theory about rating books. Something about the progression of different types of scenes. It's a little crazy. Maybe you should talk to her about it."

"Maybe," she said, not sounding too enthusiastic about the idea.

I then asked, "You have somewhere you want to go? I mean, this situation is just begging for a restaurant scene."

She chuckled and answered, "No, that's okay. It's awkward, but I think I can manage in Miss Nagato's domain."

"Well, then," I said. "Let's get to it, huh?"

"Right," she said. "I just wanted to apologize for the last couple weeks. I was really just using you. That's all."

"Okay."

"I hope you can find your self-respect."

"I'm sure I left it next to my keys. Or maybe I slipped it between my mattresses. I can never remember whether I like to hide it."

"Nice."

This conversation made me glad again that I'd decided to take things back down a notch. I love this casual back-and-forth we can have when things aren't getting too serious, but I did start to feel bad for Yuki. She still looked very agitated.

I added, "It's funny you should say that, because I was just about to say the same thing. Weird, huh?"

"Yeah," she admitted.

"We really do have way too much in common," I complained.

She nodded and said, "I think we'd just start to annoy each other."

"People would start to worry about you. I mean, your friends must think you're crazy."

"I don't tell my friends about my relationships."

"Yeah. Neither do I."

"I don't want some weird expectations, and I don't like to burden them."

"I agree."

"So, I'd like for us to continue being friends."

This was nice. No awkward pauses. No subtle hints of sarcasm. Just a nice, smooth conversation. This was more like it. Yeah. Being friends is the right call, here.

"Me too," I said, very sincerely.

"Great," she said. "I see we're all on the same wavelength."

"Right," I added. "To be honest, I'm a little surprised I let that situation drag on as long as I did. I normally don't let things get that out of hand. I'm really disgusted with myself. I mean it. I really despise myself."

"It's okay," she insisted. "Just forget about it."

"Is it really okay?"

"You're making a bigger drama out of it than me. That's a switch."

"It is?"

"Okay. I really need to go now."

She then got up and started to leave, still casually smiling as she started to exit the room.

"Bye," she said.

"Later," I said.

It was nice to clear the air, but I started to feel like Yuki had something she wanted to tell me, so I waited a few moments until she finally spoke.

"You really started to develop a strong attachment," she informed me.

"I did?" I wondered.

"You allowed her to dazzle you with her playfulness," she explained.

"Oh..." I said, thinking about how that had always seemed like a prelude to doing things that seemed really out-of-character for me.

"You wouldn't be the first," Yuki added.

That really made me wonder. Had I really not been the first? It really seemed like I was.

"I should continue to study alone for a little while," Yuki said.

"How long?" I asked.

"I'll let you know."

"Okay."


	23. Aftershock

- Chapter 3: Aftershock

Conveniently, it was soon summer vacation, though I was so bored out of my mind that I actually did my homework in the first week. After that, every day was a blur of watching TV or reading books. Before I knew it, it was September, and that meant returning to school. I noticed Yuki didn't bother showing up for club on the first day. It was a Monday, so I could hardly blame her. The combination of it being Monday and the first day back at school would probably wear most people out. Tuesday, however, she returned to club. She immediately asked about my progress, and although I was actually quite proud of myself, she looked a little disappointed and warned me that I was in serious trouble if I had intended to get into a good college.

She then set up a more difficult and time-consuming study plan for me, and gave me the goal of achieving what I had previously considered an insane amount of work. I didn't open my mouth to complain, because she was offering to guide me on each step at her place again. She warned me that I would need to get more serious, although I thought I already was being pretty serious. She also warned me that I needed to devote myself to this plan without reservation if I was going to succeed. I went ahead and agreed to that, since it seemed more interesting than the boring college I had been planning to attend.

She then looked at me and told me I was getting fat, to which I objected a little. Later that evening, I discovered to my horror that she was right. All the lazing around lately had made me gain a few pounds, so that meant I needed to get a little more strict about my diet. At Yuki's suggestion, I started getting up at six in the morning to get a little light workout. Nothing too difficult. Just a quick jog up and down the hill to school a few times would get me back into shape. Okay, I had to struggle, and I spent quite a few mornings puking up the previous evening's dinner from all this work before I really got into shape.

The cool thing about getting back into shape was that I seemed to be getting a better reputation. The guys seemed a lot friendlier to me, and I noticed a lot of the girls were looking at me in a funny way, although in retrospect, it was probably just my imagination. My mother didn't care too much for the new diet I was on. She's from the school of everyone-eats-at-the-table when it comes to meals, and that meant my being picky about food was like being rude to her. I think she understood that I was under pressure, and being in shape was not a bad thing, since that would help me keep in shape mentally. You can't do well on a test if you aren't in good physical condition, so she let it go.

I hadn't seen Asakura in a while, though she never stopped smiling at me in class, and she always had a ready wit if I asked her about anything, or a quick joke if it seemed appropriate. There was a subtle urgency in her attitude that I didn't quite pick up on, and I thought it had something to do with me, although I really should have known better. I'm sure Taniguchi would have laughed had I told him, but I wasn't about to volunteer any more information about Asakura to him. Before I had quite realized it, it was already October.

As I was reading in the club room, I saw Yuki enter, so I greeted her, "Hello."

"Hello," she said, sitting across from me the table.

"No reading today?" I asked.

She answered, "I should apologize."

"For what?"

"I hadn't intended to stay in this club."

"You're leaving?"

"My duties require me to transfer."

Her duties? I sometimes hear her vaguely complaining about one thing or another, but what she does outside of school, I have no idea. I just assumed this meant that she needed to go to another town.

"You're moving?" I asked.

She replied, "I'll still be living at the same place, so we can continue studying together, but I will be forced to leave this school."

"Oh," I said, very relieved. "Okay. That's too bad."

"Yes, it is," she agreed. "I enjoyed this time together."

"Well, it was just six months," I said, casually blowing it off. "No big deal, right?"

I watched in astonishment as I noticed her begin crying. Right away, I felt really terrible about myself, and I suddenly wished I could tell her something comforting.

"I apologize," she said. "This interface is weaker than I expected."

She got up and left, and though I wanted to go after her, that was just way too corny. I mean, it's not like she's my girlfriend or anything.

- x -

I kept to my study plan, although I hadn't yet found the courage to go back to Yuki's place. For a week, I stayed at home, doing all the crazy things Yuki had insisted on. She hadn't bothered me, in the meantime. I just assumed she wanted to be alone, and I was probably right about that. I found being alone was a little helpful after all the intense drilling. It's nice to have some peace and quiet, every now and then.

At home, I was free to work at a more leisurely pace, and I was just taking a break when I heard the doorbell ring and answered the door. Yuki had finally come to pay a visit.

"Miss Nagato?" I said.

"May I come in?" she asked.

I answered, "Of course."

As she entered, I thought about how long it had been since she'd visited. The previous time had been back in July.

"This is unexpected," I said.

She explained, "I've been forbidden from allowing you at my residence."

"Oh, so the study group is moving here?" I asked.

"Correct," she answered.

"Oh, okay," I said. I then led the way to my bedroom. I added, "I hope you don't mind. My room is a little messy at the moment."

"It appears normal," she said.

I took the uniform off the chair where I'd left it and put in on my bed, gesturing to the chair.

"Have a seat," I offered.

"Okay," she said, having a seat.

I remarked, "It's not a bad idea to have a change of setting, I guess. And it has been a while since our last study session." I then went to sit at the edge of my bed, and I asked, "So, what's up with me being forbidden at your place?"

"Ryoko Asakura requested it," she replied.

"She doesn't want to see me?" I asked.

Yuki answered, "She became somewhat furious when I brought up the subject."

"I guess I can understand that," I said, although it sounded a bit odd. "Seeing me might set her off, I guess."

We then looked at the door while some footsteps faded outside.

I called out, "It's okay to come in. We're just studying."

"Your mother?" Yuki asked.

"She's a little spooked," I explained. "I'm not sure what the problem is. Usually, she's very friendly with strangers."

"I see."

"It's okay. She'll warm up to you eventually."

- x -

Asakura had transfered to the same school as Yuki, so it wasn't surprising how those two were still having whatever difficulties they always seem to have. Any time they're in the same room, there always seems to be this ineffable tension between them. Asakura strikes me as simple and honest, and I wouldn't be surprised if Yuki sometimes plays some weird pranks on her, though it does seem a little weird to admit that. I just get the feeling that they're hiding a lot from me.

In any case, it was none of my business what went on between them. I just wished they would leave me out of it. Later, I awoke at two in the morning to the sound of my phone ringing, and I answered it.

"Hello?" I said, not bothering to check who it was that was calling me.

"Hello. It's me," said Asakura, sounding like she'd just woke up.

"Jeez," I complained. "What do you want? It's two in the morning."

"I can't call just to say hi?" she asked.

"I didn't think you wanted to speak to me," I said.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" she then asked.

"Didn't you forbid Miss Nagato from letting me go over there?"

"No."

That sounded weird, although I could tell from the tone in her voice that she wasn't lying. When Asakura lies, it sounds pretty obvious that she doesn't believe what she's saying, herself. Actually, she's a pretty lousy liar.

"You want to come over?" she asked.

"Is this about...?" I started, but I couldn't finish that.

"It's okay to say no," she permitted.

"Oh God..." I said, not really wanting to get into this again.

"Okay, look," she quickly continued. "I know you're having a rough time right now, but I could really use the company."

I told her, "I don't want to go through that again. Didn't you apologize?"

"Yeah," she said, sounding a bit like she regretted apologizing.

I then asked her, "Why on Earth did Nagato tell me that you forbade her from letting me go there?"

"I'm sorry," she said, "but I have no idea. I did no such thing."

"She said it was at your request. Her exact words."

"I see. Well, the truth is that you're welcome here any time."

"I have a feeling Miss Nagato wouldn't like that."

"You trust her?"

She was starting to twist the subject around. I tend to get upset when that happens, but I like to think I can keep calm about stuff like this, too.

"Yeah," I replied. "I mean, I don't have any particular reason to not trust her."

"She doesn't want to sleep with you," Asakura firmly told me.

"I'm hanging up, now," I casually stated, getting ready to do just that.

"Wait, wait, wait!" she exclaimed, and I stopped and looked at phone.

I then sighed, put it to my ear again and asked, "What?"

"Don't you want to ask me about the school I'm going to?" she asked.

"Not really," I answered. I then silently berated myself for a moment and asked, "I guess it's a nice one, right?"

"It's okay," she answered.

"You meet any guys you like?" I asked.

She replied, "There are a few cute guys who go there, but nobody I'm interested in."

"I have to admit, I miss seeing you in my class. That was always a highlight of the day for me."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure what's going to happen for the culture festival. Everything is just kind of falling apart. Okabe is such a basket case."

"I'm sure you'll be okay."

"We'll probably just end up doing some kind of survey."

"Well... Thanks for speaking to me."

This always happens when I fight with Asakura. She somehow drags me back around to feeling good about her, and I can't help but feel really lucky that I know her at all.

"You're welcome," I said. "Call me anytime."

"Okay, bye," she said.

- x -

At the next study group, it was awkward, since it was just Yuki and me. I asked her whether I really was forbidden to come over, and she insisted. It seemed weird that she would lie to me, but I had no choice but to believe it. After that session, I told her that I'd prefer to spend my time studying alone, and that was that. I didn't really care who was telling the truth and who wasn't, to be perfectly honest. I just didn't want to get involved in some big drama. I think Yuki was okay with this, because I didn't hear from her again. There wasn't any reason for me to hear from her, though I was still using her study guides and impressing my teachers with my good grades.

I continued to hear from Asakura, but that just made me depressed. I really started to doubt my keen judgment about her, since she kept insisting that she didn't regret breaking up with me, though she kept inviting me back to her place. I couldn't put myself through that again, though. It was just too weird. I also couldn't help but wonder whether this was something Asakura had been doing since before she'd met me, though that seemed like it was really wrong. I shuddered at the thought of it, but I kept remembering things that made me think it was right.

The winter came and went, and I met a few interesting girls, though none of them could stand to be around me for very long. One girl who did seem to like me and had even set up a Christmas Eve date with me had spent that entire date complaining about men, and she'd even used the occasion to inform me of how she'd had her uterus removed because she'd been raped as a child. Nice and romantic, huh? I couldn't stand to be with her and her constant complaining, so I eventually broke up with her.

When late April came around, I met another girl with crazy hair and an even crazier brain who seemed to be into me. Yeah. She was probably the biggest mistake. We seemed to get along, although she really pushed the limits of what I could handle from a girl. I even caught her flirting with other guys, and whenever I brought up the subject, she would have the nerve to accuse me of being jealous of her. Right. More like disgusted. The weird thing is that I found that I could put up with an awful lot of craziness from her because she just seemed like a very intelligent and sensitive person who didn't quite understand everything she was doing. We went back and forth a lot through one emotional trauma after another. I was currently on the tail end of one of her crazy stunts. There were rumors going around that she was cheating on me, and when I confronted her about it, she accused me of being the one who started the rumor.

I was still doing well in school, though I was slipping into my old routine of leaving homework for the last minute. It was easy to do that, considering how easy homework was, and I still usually finished my tests at least fifteen minutes before "pencils up," so I didn't think it was really any big deal. When August came around, I switched into vacation mode, but that was a mistake. One day, as I was lying around, watching TV, I heard the doorbell ring and went to answer it. Yuki had returned, and that immediately brightened my day.

"Miss Nagato?" I said. "Nice to see you. Please come in."

"Thank you," she said, promptly entering.

"It's been a while," I remarked.

"Indeed," she added.

"So, what's the occasion?" I asked.

She replied, "I've noticed that your grades have been deteriorating."

"Oh..." I said, unable to deny that. Anything less than perfect would not be good enough for Yuki. That's for sure.

"We need to study again," she said.

"Is it really all that important?" I asked. "It's just school, you know."

She answered, "I know, but you don't want to waste your life."

"I don't?" I wondered, not really expecting an answer.

"No. Can we get started?"

"Yeah, sure."

We returned to my bedroom, and I sat at the edge of my bed, while she took the chair again.

"Have you done your homework for the summer break?" she asked.

Yeah. No, I hadn't even thought about it.

"Let's start with that," she said, sensing where I was, mentally.

I then noticed my mother sneaking by the room, and I sighed, remarking, "You'd think she'd be used to me hanging around with girls by now."

Yuki stated, "Your mother puts a high value on your education. You should be grateful."

"Yeah," I said.

"I'd like you to follow me to college," she added.

"You want me to go to college with you?"

"Yes."

"You have high aspirations for me?"

"That's right."

It then occurred to me that Yuki had never had any reason to lie to me. Her motives were very obvious, and she had always been very upfront about them.

I muttered, "You really didn't lie to me about not being allowed into your apartment."

"Of course not," she said.

"I feel like an idiot," I admitted.

"That's good," she added, very sincerely.

Say what you will about Yuki. She doesn't mince her words, at least.

"I've never deceived you," she added. "I promise. I don't plan on starting."

- x -

Toward the end of summer break, I was getting a little burned out with all the studying. Somehow, Yuki always seems to find more work for me. Finally, I just got fed up with it and I managed to escape while she was preoccupied. I was so out of the habit of lazing around that I just wandered around until I found myself at a park bench, just sitting and watching people go strolling by.

Somehow, Asakura appeared, and she looked just as surprised to see me as I was to see her.

"Whoa!" she said. "Small world."

"Hello," I said.

"Taking a break?" she asked.

"Three weeks of intense studying..." I complained.

She laughed and remarked, "You poor guy."

"It's killing me," I said, "but I think I like it."

"You mind?" she asked, gesturing at the bench.

"Go right ahead," I said, and she sat next to me.

She said, "I'd have thought that Hibiki would have driven you crazy by now."

I then had a flashback to the one time I had called Hibi "Hibiki." That was not pleasant. She had spent about five minutes screaming at me. And she never let me forget it.

"Sorry," Asakura said. "Miss Shibi."

"It must be love," I said, saying the opposite of what I was actually thinking.

"Really?" she asked, smiling broadly.

"Or maybe I'm losing it," I admitted. "I don't know if I can tell the difference."

"You've lasted a lot longer with her than I expected," Asakura admitted.

"I take it you don't like her."

"I like her music. She's... Well, she's a bitch."

"That's pretty harsh," I said, wondering what Asakura had meant about music. Did Asakura borrow music from her, too?

Asakura added, "She thinks she's all that, but she's just pathetic."

"You sure sound like you don't like her," I observed.

"Do you like her?"

"She's a lot of fun, and we have this weird vibe. I've never felt so drawn to anyone before. It's like a magnetic connection. Still... It's all just physical. On some rational level, I really hate her."

Asakura didn't look like she knew how to react to all this. I decided to help her out a bit.

I said, "I was going to break up with her, but Miss Nagato said I should keep trying. Does Nagato hate me or something?"

Asakura started laughing, then stopped for a few moments to say, "On the contrary. She cried every night for a week when she first heard you were going out with Shibi."

That sounded about right. It made me feel terrible, especially because Asakura was being so flippant about it.

"Nagato is a painfully complicated girl," she added.

"Tell me about it," I complained.

"She talks about you a lot."

"Why don't you want me visiting her?"

"This again?"

"Are you jealous?"

She sure looked jealous, and she even said, "I'll admit I'm still a little upset with you."

"But you were just using me," I said. "I'm the one who should be upset."

"You think so?" she asked, and I couldn't compete with that.

"Maybe not," I said.

She then said, "You don't know yourself as well as I know you. You'd fall for that girl in a second."

"Why is that?" I asked.

"There isn't anything about her you don't like, is there?"

"That's true."

"That's the thing I don't get, though. What does she have that I don't have?"

That was a good question. I hadn't really thought about it, but Yuki was several steps higher in my opinion than Asakura. I decided to try and figure it out.

I said, "She's pretty and she has a wonderful personality."

Asakura said, "I'm prettier and people are constantly complimenting my personality."

"Would you really want to live your life with someone like me?" I asked her.

"You're right," she said, sounding serious. "I dodged a bullet, there."

That bothered me a little, but she immediately laughed at me again.

"I'm just kidding, you goof," she said. "Of course I wouldn't want to live with someone like you, but I wouldn't just dismiss it so easily, either."

"I think it's her voice," I said, finally realizing it.

"Her what?" Asakura said, very disbelieving.

"Her voice," I insisted. "She has a voice that goes right to my heart."

Asakura laughed and said, "She has a terrible voice."

"You don't have to be that way," I complained.

Asakura explained, "She has no throat skill, no nose, no projection. She practically has no voice. She's not even the type who's surprisingly good at singing. She's actually worse when she tries to sing, if you can imagine that."

"Even so, it has something in it that I just love. I can't get enough of it."

"You're weird. You know, you're the one with a great voice."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but I never said that. Don't go repeating it."

So, naturally, here I am writing about it. Funny, how these things work out.

- x -

About a month later, I broke up with Hibi over the phone. And it felt so good. I don't think I'd ever felt as good as the moment I did that. I knew I would regret it later, but it was totally worth it.

Meanwhile, I had continued with the study group, although I took my time telling Yuki that I preferred studying at her place. I didn't see Asakura during my encounters there, so we got a lot done. I was starting to think I was ready for an entrance exam, but Yuki didn't share my optimism.

Some time in early October, I found myself reading at Yuki's table, as she came and sat across from me, sipping on some tea.

I looked up and asked, "You think I could have some of that?" She then poured another cup and gave it to me. "Thanks."

"You've been studying too much," she complained.

"Wasn't this all your idea?" I asked.

She replied, "You need to understand your limitations."

I was immediately grateful that she at last acknowledged that I had limitations. What a relief.

She then added, "If you study too much or too little, that can cause degeneration."

I then closed the book I was reading and picked up my tea. "I've been reading this same page over and over for half an hour."

"Sometimes, it isn't a matter of how much, as much as the nature of the content."

"You mean I'm ready for Geography?"

"You've exercised the rational side of your brain too much. Now, you need to exercise the intuitive side."

This all sounded familiar. I've heard this lecture before. "Oh, right," I said.

"I believe you understand," she added.

I casually stated, "Asakura asked me about this the other day. She said she couldn't enjoy music any more, and that she'd forgotten how to dance."

"How did you respond?" Yuki asked.

I answered, "I just said that you need to put yourself into the music. Use your imagination. Have fun with it. I don't know, but that seems important."

"Understand your relationship with your world," Yuki said.

"Is that what that means?"

"What raised this issue?"

"She was asking me about how you'd reacted when I told you about my break up with Hibi."

"Okay."

Yuki, of course, had reacted the only way she ever does to anything. She seemed calm and unaffected, though I thought I sensed some nervousness from her.

I then remarked, "Somehow, the subject of music and dancing came up. That always seems to happen when discussing her."

Yuki added, "A discussion of the arts can produce valuable insights toward transactions."

"The arts, huh?"

"That's right."

Not for the first time, I wondered if I could approach something like a personal subject for her.

"What about romance?" I asked.

"Romance inhibits rational thought," she promptly stated.

"Right," I said, fully expecting that kind of answer. "But it sounds to me like it's perfect for intuition."

She then said, "What suits intuition perfectly is an apt metaphor."

"Oh, okay," I said, not expecting her to be so literal.

She then said, "A man once spent all his time guarding a box full of treasure. Soon, his legs grew weak, so he sat on the box. He discovered that this made it easier to guard the treasure, since that would permit him to sleep as he did so. He awoke later but soon discovered that he was growing weak with hunger, so he devoured the treasure inside the box, thinking that he could carry it inside him. The treasure acted as a poison and rendered him comatose, and he later died."

I like these stories she comes up with, in particular after I've just been studying. I think there really is something to this whole left-brain right-brain idea.

"So..." I said. "The lesson there is to not neglect your needs."

She said, "The lesson is that valuables can be debilitating, slowly deteriorating you to the point of death."

"Oh, I see," I said, finally getting in tune with her story. "I should be careful how much romance I have."

"Among other things," she added.

I then thought for a moment and said, "What the man should have done is hired someone to help him carry the treasure home. Even an offer to split the treasure five ways would have been better than death."

"Yes, but then he would have risked losing the treasure entirely."

"Well, that's life. Had he lost the treasure entirely, he would have still had his life. Which is more valuable? A box full of treasure or your own life?"

Yuki looked a little uncertain about that. To me, it seemed obvious, but then I wasn't really asking her about treasure.

I added, "I don't think romance has inhibited my rational thought at all."

"Was your rational thought improved with Ryoko Asakura?" she asked.

I replied, "I don't think what went on between me and Asakura was romance."

"What was that?" she asked.

I took a moment, then answered, "I think that was more like a man with a box full of treasure, tossing coins from the top of a tall building just to see them scatter around on the road below."

"It was aimless?"

"It seemed like the hand of fate."

"Perhaps you were imprinted."

"Imprinted? You mean, like a young chick that sees a cat and starts following the cat everywhere?"

Yuki took another sip of tea and explained, "Many human behaviors are the result of a kind of imprinting. They become impulsive and seem inevitable because the pattern has been learned at the subconscious level."

That didn't match up with my own experience, but I doubted I was a good judge of what went on in my subconscious. Still, I disliked her notion, and I offered, "Maybe it was there to begin with. Maybe it was instinctive."

"That could be," she admitted, "but my experience with romance is that it is mostly learned."

"Your experience?" I asked.

"Is that surprising?" she asked me back.

"How much experience?"

"Not as much as you, but enough."

"You have a lot of reason to hate me."

"That's right."

And yet, here we were. It made me wonder about her. "But you don't want me to waste my life."

"Right," she said.

"Is my life like a poison to you?" I asked.

Judging from the way she didn't react, I would have to say that the answer was yes. She wanted to be with me, but she also feared me.

I then asked, "How much would you 'deteriorate' if you were to kiss me?"

"You've proven to be an apt student," she softly confessed.

"I have, huh?" I asked, smiling at this acknowledgement.

"You always exceed my expectations," she added.

"Then why don't you relax?" I asked, starting to get annoyed by this attitude she exudes.

"Am I not?" she asked, innocently.

"You look really tense to me," I complained.

"I have incurred a lot of stress," she admitted.

"You mind?" I asked.

"What?" she asked.

I reached out my hand to her and suggested, "Give me your hand."

She offered her hand to me and said, "Go ahead."

I then took her hand, or rather her fist. "You can unclench," I said, and I was amazed at how tense her hand was. I chuckled and said, "Sheesh. You are tense."

"Is this your way of seducing me?" she asked.

"Is it working?" I said, not really expecting a response. Her looking down and not really responding was really getting on my nerves, and I complained, "Jeez. You never smile. What do I have to do to make you smile?"

"Why should I smile?" she asked.

"I don't know. Because you feel good."

"I never feel good."

"You mind if I try to fix that?"

"Go ahead."


	24. Little White Lie

- Chapter 4: Little White Lie

Once Yuki and I started going out, she suddenly became a lot less uptight. She did threaten to break up with me if I didn't make it into the same college, but I really had nothing to worry about. I more than qualified for that college, and my advisor actually scolded me for aiming so low. I get the feeling that Yuki had been giving me a good margin or maybe she'd been using studying as a way of getting back at me before we had started going out. Either way, it insured me four years at a decent college, though there was no telling what might happen after that.

Since breaking up with Hibi, I've had the attitude of whatever happens, happens. It helps to cope with things. That girl had turned out to be extremely vindictive, and it took a long time before the phone calls and the letters and the various pranks she liked to play on me finally stopped. I spent a lot of time hiding out at Yuki's or at Asakura's. Asakura seemed calm, and that allowed me to visit Shamisen. I don't think Asakura was really all that upset, to be honest. I did wonder a few times at what might have been, but she never denied the part about Canada, either. I have a feeling Yuki's warning had been spot on, and that had made Asakura the most upset.

My mother didn't care for my choice of girlfriends. She made it clear to me that she didn't like Yuki, even if Yuki had helped me quite a bit with studying. I did eventually arrange a truce, although she wasn't too happy about it. Sister was finally in middle school, which started to make me feel old, since I can only picture her as a little kid. I sincerely hoped that she wouldn't make some of same terrible choices I had made in life, but I don't think I had anything to worry about. Sister is a much more sensible person than me.

When I went to college, it was far enough away that I was forced to live in an apartment. Yuki moved in with me, though I warned her that it was a one-bedroom apartment. She then merely reminded me of her "unusual sleeping habits." Right. Aside from the fact that I've never seen her sleep for more than about two hours on any given day, she likes to wear full pajamas and even usually wears her socks to bed. I noticed a couple times how she had even worn her glasses to bed, which was just freaky. We're always disagreeing on what to eat, but then Yuki usually just goes along with whatever I want, in the end. I don't mind preparing food, and Yuki doesn't mind preparing food, either. I was soon in a nice, comfortable situation, though it was pretty cramped. I was also waiting for her to smile, and I started to wonder if she was an android. She always seemed oddly bothered by one thing or another.

Taniguchi and Kunikida went on to a second-rate college, as I expected, and Taniguchi seemed destined to bounce from one terrible job to the next. Kunikida, however, looked like he was going to do well in whatever career he was going to choose for himself. He didn't seem to be in too big a hurry to choose, and I could sympathize with that. After the first day at college, Kunikida called me up and arranged for us to meet at a coffee shop near the train station. It was the perfect excuse I needed to visit the old home, then head right back to my apartment. Somehow, the subject of dating came up, as we were sitting around, chatting.

Taniguchi asked, "Your father doesn't let you date just anyone?"

"I can date whoever I want," I replied, "but he takes some weird personal interest."

"He thinks he can run your life?"

"He thinks he can convince me that he's my 'real' dad. He's kind of hung up on that."

"I see."

Kunikida then asked, "So that was why you were never able to date throughout high school?"

I almost laughed, but then I just said, "I dated a few girls."

Taniguchi smirked and added, "Yeah, I saw you hanging around with that one girl..."

"Who?" Kunikida asked, "You mean Hibiki?"

"Right," Taniguchi answered, glaring at Kunikida. "Hibi Shibi."

I shook my head in disgust. That memory came back to me, and I was suddenly more glad than ever that I'd broken up with her.

"Sorry," Kunikida said.

Taniguchi explained, "Yeah, 'Hibiki' was just something somebody came up with..."

"She really hated that nickname," I remarked, thinking that it wasn't exactly the most original nickname.

Taniguchi then asked, "Anyway, didn't she used to hang out with you in second year?"

"We dated for a bit," I admitted.

"How far did you get?"

"What do you mean, how far?"

Kunikida then asked, "You ever sleep with her?"

"Jeez..." I said, not expecting a question like that from Kunikida, of all people.

"Yeah," Taniguchi said, "I didn't think so."

"We used to fight a lot," I said.

"I never saw you fighting," Taniguchi said.

"Oh..." I said, getting more flashbacks. "It was insane at times. She's the really crazy possessive type. For a while, she used to stalk me."

"Really?" Taniguchi asked.

"Yeah," I said, "but that was about five months in. I was just starting to get really sick of her."

"You got sick of her?" Kunikida asked. "What for?"

"You remember that one time you popped in?" I asked him.

"I did?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "You suddenly came over to my house and asked if you could hide for a few minutes, and then we spent the rest of the day doing other stuff?"

"Oh, right," he said. He then explained, "Somehow I got confused with a delinquent. That was scary."

"Anyway," I continued, "I got home later that evening and Hibi started grilling me. 'Where were you?' 'Who were you with?' 'Are you cheating on me?' Blah. Blah. Blah. I felt like I was being interrogated by a freaking cop."

"Right," Taniguchi said. "Now I remember. She had some obsession I couldn't figure out. That turned out to be you?"

This is why I don't normally talk about my private life with these guys. Enough time had passed at this point, but it was still a little painful to talk about. Even so, I really needed this off my chest.

"She was smothering me," I answered. "At first, I didn't think anything of it, but then she would follow me everywhere. Everywhere I'd hang out, I'd see her there. It was kind of scary. I finally just said enough of this."

Kunikida then stopped and asked, "Wait a second. Is this the same Hibi Shibi as...?"

"As who?" Taniguchi asked.

Kunikida answered, "I seem to recall one of the teachers going on about some literary rag that a student got published in. A whole series of poems."

"Poems?" Taniguchi asked.

Kunikida answered, "Right. It turned out that Shibi really impressed some high brow magazine editor, and that led her to start writing professionally. In fact..."

"That was her?" Taniguchi asked. "The one who went pro?"

"Yeah," Kunikida answered. "She got into the music biz. Started doing a bunch of pop music lyrics. I hear she's a favorite of 'Mutated Purses.'"

"I never even heard of that group," I said.

Kunikida explained, "They're a local band, but I hear they've played all over the place to rave reviews."

Taniguchi added, "I heard a few of their tracks. I think I've got an MD with some of their stuff."

"You do?" Kunikida asked.

"Yeah," Taniguchi answered, "but it was really creepy. I mean, it was all about screaming and hair-pulling fights and getting in trouble with the law."

"So..." Kunikida said, lost in thought for a moment. "That was inspired by Kyon, huh?"

I don't like to think of myself as the subject of delinquent music. That was just too weird. I'm not self-centered enough to think I could be inspiration for any kind of song, but then Hibi did possess a rare gift for dramatic overstatements. Plus, I seem to recall Asakura mentioning her music, though I hadn't made this connection back then.

Taniguchi then said, "Most of it was really sweet and romantic, but yeah..."

"No way," Kunikida said, laughing. "This is Kyon we're talking about."

"Your old man let you date whoever you want?" I asked Taniguchi, getting distinctly uncomfortable with the other subject.

"Yeah..." he replied. "Well, as long as we can sit down and have a talk about it."

"So, your dates get the third degree?" I asked.

He answered, "Not if I can help it."

Kunikida then said, "This kind of explains why you fight with your old man all the time."

Taniguchi just shook his head, then remarked, "That's a weird coincidence, though. I didn't realize Shibi was a talented writer."

"I don't know if I'd call it a talent, actually," I muttered.

"What do you mean?" Kunikida asked. "I thought some of her stuff was genius."

"Yeah..." I answered. "It's more like... She doesn't really understand that there are limits to things."

"I still don't..." Kunikida started.

"Okay," I said. I explained, "For example, she wrote me a lot of letters when we were dating."

"She did?" Taniguchi asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "At first, it was great."

"What did she write about?" Kunikida asked.

"Anything," I answered. "That's the scary part. She didn't seem to understand that you don't really want to commit to paper everything you think about."

"You kept those?" Taniguchi asked me.

"Yeah," I answered. "I still have them, somewhere."

"I see," Kunikida said, suddenly smirking again.

"What?" I said, curious.

Kunikida explained, "I'm just now remembering this bio and an interview she did in the school paper. She went on and on about the band and what they were doing, and then they asked her what inspired her to write the way she did. She just kind of stops at that point, and it seemed like there was this awkward pause in the story. Then the interviewer suddenly changed the subject."

I think even Taniguchi was a little taken aback at this point, and there was a long moment of silence as Kunikida grinned, and I started to realize what it might mean for me to hold on to Hibi's letters. Actually, I think they were still in a box in the attic back at the old home. She had to realize that I would eventually get around to reading those letters, and there was a possibility of me showing them to others. That led to a whole series of disturbing possibilities I didn't want to think about.

"Anyway..." I said, trying to clear my mind of that. "I did see a couple other girls, but it was nothing serious."

Kunikida then said, "I'm not sure I even want to know..."

"You don't," I told him. "Trust me."

Taniguchi then said, "Wait a second. I saw you with Nagato an awful lot. Whatever became of that?"

Damn it. He noticed even that? Well, I guess he would.

Kunikida then asked him, "You mean that notoriously unsociable girl he hung out with in the first year? Didn't she transfer?"

Taniguchi added, "I still saw her around the neighborhood quite a bit, and I often saw her with Kyon. I just assumed they were dating."

"Okay," I said, sighing. "I haven't told you guys anything because I don't want my mother finding out that she's living with me."

"Your mother doesn't approve of her?" Kunikida asked.

I answered, "My mother is a little freaked out about her for some weird reason. I have no idea what that's about."

Kunikida smoothly said, "I think I know what that's about."

"What?" Taniguchi asked.

Kunikida answered, "About five years ago, there was this notorious murder. A studious girl who wore glasses killed her parents and then killed herself. It was all over the news."

Taniguchi then said, "Oh yeah. I remember that now. Stabbed her father fifteen times and then bludgeoned her mother. Pretty gruesome."

Kunikida offered, "Maybe that's what's got her spooked."

"I don't know," I said. "Sounds kind of iffy to me."

Kunikida added, "The neighbors all said the same thing about her, though. That she was just a very shy, very quiet girl who seemed perfectly harmless."

Taniguchi asked, "Kyon's mother thinks Nagato is her reincarnation?"

"Maybe," Kunikida answered.

"Hey," Taniguchi complained to me. "You've never mentioned Nagato's parents. What's the deal? Is she normal, or is she really a weirdo?"

"Probably just a coincidence," I said, still thinking about what Kunikida had said.

"Probably?" Kunikida said.

- x -

A lot of other things happened on that trip, and when I got back to the apartment, I was exhausted. I planted myself on the couch and started to watch TV. Soon after, Yuki entered.

"I'm back," she said.

"Welcome," I answered. It's nice to have the customary back-and-forth every now and then.

"How did your meeting go?" she asked, approaching the couch.

"Great," I answered. "You find what you were looking for?"

She showed me the book she'd been looking for.

"That's good," I said. "Yeah, I knew they'd have that in stock."

"A few more are on order," she added, sitting next to me.

"You sure like your books," I observed.

"I hate books," she said, and she sounded very sincere.

I laughed and remarked, "That's a lot of money to throw down on something you hate."

As she started reading, I began to wonder about that. She didn't give me long to think about it, though.

"I'm kidding," she then said.

"Sheesh," I complained. "I can never tell if you're serious."

"What are you watching?" she asked.

"Some kind of spy comedy," I answered. "I'm not too sure about the comedy part."

"Okay," she said.

"You find all your classes?"

"Yes."

"I keep having that dream, lately."

"Which one?"

"The one where it's halfway through the semester and I suddenly realize I'm in the wrong class."

"Oh."

College takes some adjustment, and it's a lot more trouble than people realize. This dream was especially starting to bother me.

"What's that indicative of?" I asked. "I can never remember."

"Stress," she answered.

"Right," I said, recognizing that this was her usual answer to questions like that.

"You fear a miscommunication has occurred," she added.

I admitted, "I am haunted by a fear of miscommunication."

She looked up from her book, and she looked at me with a more serious than usual expression on her face.

"That dream I had of traveling back in time..." I said. "That wasn't a dream, was it?"

"It was not," she replied.

I then explained, "I met with Suzumiya, today. I asked her some strange questions, but she just looked at me like I was insulting her mother. Speaking of which, I also met her mother, and she didn't say anything to me about remembering a stranger complaining of a sister with heart problems. I think I would have remembered if someone had said that to me, even twelve years later."

"Memories can be surprisingly difficult to summon," she softly stated.

"Really?" I asked. "Even if someone told you the exact place and time, and they mentioned how it was raining, but then that's where the story diverges?"

"I could be wrong," she admitted.

I sighed and admitted, "Maybe I've got this whole time travel thing figured wrong."

"Maybe," she agreed.

I then mused, "I wonder what it would be like to have Suzumiya trying to find her 'reward' at North High."

"Indeed," she added.

"Did I tell you about that?"

"Yes."

This topic always made me regret, and I decided to air it out, "I should have asked you what you meant when you said Asakura had forbidden me from visiting you."

"You should have," she agreed.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"It was a simple misunderstanding," she answered. "I can't forgive you for not doing anything wrong."

"You aren't upset?" I asked.

"I'm still upset that you were with that girl," she replied.

"Her name is Hibi," I supplied. "Yeah, that was weird."

"You never told me why you started dating her," she softly complained.

"Funny you should say that," I said. "I got a call from her, right before you arrived just now."

"You did?" she asked.

I answered, "I asked her what interested her in me, and she told me that she'd heard some funny rumors about me in the first year. She didn't have the courage to ask me about them then, but she did eventually ask when I showed up in her class in second year."

Yuki immediately looked away, and I figured I had guessed correctly.

I continued, "She said she'd heard that I was easy, and that I was already sleeping with a girl in my class. She just wanted to check if that was true."

"She thought you were easy to seduce?" Yuki asked.

I replied, "She thought I was some lady-killer, and she wanted to try me out for herself. She hadn't counted on falling in love with me, though."

"I see," Yuki said, looking back at me.

"The thing is," I said, "I don't recall that rumor. I think I would have known about it through Taniguchi if the guys had been circulating it, because he never shuts up about other rumors, in particular if they related to me or Asakura. It must have been strictly among the girls. I can't see Asakura spreading that rumor herself."

"You can't?" Yuki asked.

"No," I answered. "As much as she likes to say her reputation doesn't matter to her, she did fret about it constantly. The only other person who knew about me and Asakura was you."

Yuki then smiled, much to my disgusted amazement.

"Why are you smiling?" I asked. "You started that rumor?"

"Yes," she admitted.

"Jeez," I complained, to think that this would be the inauguration of her smile.

She explained, "I'm relieved that you weren't hiding this from me."

"I should be celebrating," I said. "I finally figured out a way to make you smile."

"You really didn't know?" she asked.

"No, I had no idea," I answered. "Hibi just today found the courage to admit it to me."

"Was that all?"

"Huh? Oh... No. She gave me the whole water-under-the-bridge speech. I think we might even eventually be on friendly terms. Why on Earth...?"

"I started that rumor because you began ignoring our study group."

"You were that upset about it?" I asked, thinking back.

"I became agitated that you were ignoring me," she replied.

"Yeah," I said. "Well... At the time, I had thought you were lying to me about Asakura. I didn't realize that you'd meant that I was forbidden from your apartment, rather than the whole building."

Yuki was still smiling, which seemed like a provocation, but I can't be mad at her. The whole thing was really my own fault.

"Jeez," I complained.

"I can't remain upset with you," she added.

"Not even for ditching you and then dating Hibi?" I asked.

"I had not indicated affection for you," she answered.

"Yeah," I said. "I have to admit that I was pretty easy, at least with Asakura."

"Yes," she agreed.

"Does she still have Shamisen?"

"Yes."

"Wait here a sec."

I went to the kitchen and returned with a couple Cokes. This seemed like a good way to celebrate, even if her reason for smiling wasn't all that admirable.

"Here," I said, handing her one.

"Thanks," she said.

- x -

I wasn't looking forward to what Yuki had in store for me, but she was suddenly a lot less tense around me, and she suddenly wanted to take our relationship to the next level. That was a welcome change, but that made me start to notice a lot of little details about her. The strangest thing about her is the weird way she reacts whenever I mention Suzumiya. I don't think she'd ever lie to me, but she does get oddly distant whenever that subject comes up. I couldn't help but notice how that high school she had transferred to had been the one Suzumiya went to, and this college we were going to was the same one Suzumiya had aimed for. It made me wonder a lot.

She has a tendency to mention her duties, though she never quite explains what that's about. I don't pry, but I can't help but notice how much her secret duties matter to her. I don't really feel comfortable bringing up the subject, but I do feel like it gets in the way. I also often wonder about her experience with romance. That seems really odd, considering how detached she's always been until recently about the subject, but then she maybe had an experience that made her that way. It's not out of the question, though it does strike me as being very odd. Her relationship with Asakura is also very strange, and I often wonder how they met. In particular, I keep wondering why Yuki thinks of her as a valuable partner or companion or whatever the hell she's supposed to be.

The next evening, I was doodling in my notebook and thinking about how Asakura has this knack for provoking people. She had come over to listen to some music while Yuki was reading. Asakura had started talking about bad habits. She had been strongly hinting that Yuki had lied to me about something, but I wasn't having any of that. I know Asakura, and this needling was just her way of trying to get to me. The subject then turned to cigarettes.

"What's she up to?" Asakura asked me.

"A pack a day," I replied.

"Okay," she said.

I think Yuki was getting me addicted, just from being around her, but I don't think it's at a level where I'd have trouble quitting. People like to make a big deal out of second-hand smoke, but I'm really more worried about the effects of first-hand smoke. Not enough to complain about it directly to her, but it does bother me a little. It isn't tempting me to start smoking, that's for sure. Smoking is a really nasty habit. Take it from me. I've seen a lot of the bad side.

"I thought you two knew everything about each other," I pointed out.

She complained, "It isn't that easy keeping up, sometimes."

"Anything else?" I asked in a tone that suggested she quit while I still had some respect for her.

"Yeah, actually," she said, sitting across from me at the table.

She softly asked, "Are you two...?"

"What?" I said.

She smiled and then said, "Nothing."

"You ever think about anything but sex?" I asked.

Yeah. I know the answer to that one. She might not like to talk about it, but that's really all she cares about.

"Not everyone cares about that sort of thing," I told her.

"What are you planning?" she asked me in a very nice tone.

"What do you mean?" I asked, mildly annoyed.

"I mean," she asked, "what are you planning? You have some goals for the future? Any idea what you're going to do with your life?"

"You're still on that?" I asked, wondering how long she would keep asking.

She explained, "It's just kind of pathetic that you don't have anything planned, is all. I mean, you ought to do something with yourself."

"I got into college," I said.

"Yeah, but to do what?" she asked.

"I haven't decided yet."

"That's no kind of answer. You have to have some reason to get into college in the first place."

"I think you know the answer to that."

"That's kind of pathetic, though."

"Why do you keep asking?"

"I just want to know."

"I don't know, okay. Sheesh."

"What are you planning?"

At this point, I had figured out that she was provoking me again. She always does this. She doesn't really care what I'm planning. She just wants to make me do something I wouldn't ordinarily do.

"What are you planning?" she asked, becoming serious.

"I guess you're going to offer a suggestion?" I asked, pretending to be ignorant.

"Oh..." she said, pretending right back. "I don't know about that."

"So, why are you bugging me?" I asked.

She then said, "Now, hold on a minute. I haven't finished. I was about to say that you might consider something in the field of drama or education..."

"That's what you want me to do," I said.

"Nothing wrong with a little friendly advice," she offered. What she really wanted was for me to get into politics. These career choices she was offering me were really just the most convenient path to politics. Why she was so caught up in politics, though, I'll never know. I would never become a politician.

"Okay," I said, equally nicely. "I was just about to offer some, myself."

"I can't wait," she said, enthusiastically. "Lay it on me."

"Leave me alone, okay?" I suggested. "Find a guy. Maybe an actor or someone aspiring to be a teacher."

She stopped and casually mused, "That's no good."

"Why not?" I said. "Seems like that would be perfect for you."

"Yeah..." she answered. "Well, you see. The problem is that once I start down that path, I tend to get caught up in stuff like parties."

"Parties?"

"Right. And if I play my cards right, I end up going out with some very popular guys who have lots of connections and get hooked up with a lot of interesting people. I find myself doing a lot of socializing, since that's what I'm good at."

"Sounds fine to me."

"Yeah. The thing is, I'm often in a situation where I have to tell stories. Stories require a lot of ability to do impressions and say lots of funny things aside from that. It takes a lot of energy. Frankly, it's a hell of a lot of work."

She wanted an easy way out, is what she was saying. A shortcut. She wanted to pal around with popular people, but she didn't want to have to take the long and difficult road that allowed her to earn their respect. It seemed pretty pathetic, but I could actually sympathize. There was a time in my life when I had wished to be pals with superheroes or time travelers or aliens. That was such a smooth and easy time of my life. I wonder whatever happened to it.

Asakura continued, "I'm not the type to run around a lot. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah," I said, "I can sympathize."

"I end up drinking a lot and maybe doing some other stuff," she added.

"Like drugs, you mean?" I asked.

"That's right," she said.

"Teachers have lots of parties?" I asked, a little disbelieving.

"The really successful ones," she smoothly answered.

"I think I see where you're going," I said.

"I really don't want to go through that," she complained.

"Didn't you just tell me...?" I was about to say that she had suggested I become a teacher, but she interrupted.

"I can help you out," she said, "if you'll let me."

"Right," I said. "I think I see."

"So?" she asked.

"No thank you," I replied. "I think I'll leave my options open, for now."

I went back to doodling, and I idly wondered what else Asakura had in her bag of tricks. I was soon to find out.

"What do you think of mercenaries?" she asked.

"Mercenaries?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"Well..." I started, giving it some thought.

Before I had quite realized it, Yuki had appeared next to me and was glaring at Asakura. She then said to me, "Excuse me."

"Huh?" I said.

"It's a fair question," Asakura complained.

"Oh, I see," I said, thinking that this was the kind of life that Yuki likes.

"The future is still uncertain," Yuki stated.

"Oh, come off it," Asakura playfully scolded her. "You always go mercenary."

"There's still a chance for variation," Yuki said.

Now that I think of it, I had been a brief companion to a time traveler. That had been a little fun. The real mystery had been what had happened to that world we had created, but then it suddenly hit me. That world had yet to actually happen. This was a previous world, and that explained quite a few things.

"You remember the previous worlds," I suddenly realized, out loud.

"What?" Asakura asked.

I explained, "I've been puzzling over what it meant to be a time traveler, and what that might mean. It seems to me like I helped create a kind of future world. Isn't that right?"

"Yes," Yuki answered, again confirming what I had been thinking.

"And given that," I added, "it stands to reason that this has happened before. That would explain all these odd references you two keep making. Somehow, you can remember all that."

"You didn't realize this before?" Asakura softly wondered.

"No," I said. "You didn't explain it to me."

Yuki then stated, "This is the fifth iteration of this world that we are aware of."

"And you always become a mercenary?" I asked.

"That's right," she replied, "although I don't always sell my services."

I then asked Asakura, "And you always become a party girl?"

"You could phrase that a little nicer, but yeah," she answered.

"So, what happens to me?" I asked.

"That depends," Asakura answered.

"On what?" I asked.

Yuki replied, "On what purpose Haruhi Suzumiya chooses for you."

"Suzumiya?" I asked, a little baffled.

Yuki added, "There is a high likelihood that it will involve this university."

"How do you know that?" I asked.

She then explained, "Because there is always a logical progression to her purposes. Her first purpose for you involved giving you social significance. Her second purpose for you involved creating a convenient solution to her situation. Her third purpose for you was to help her confront her own mortality. Her fourth purpose for you was to create descendants. Each purpose is a reaction to complications experienced in a previous world."

Asakura then added, "Bear in mind that this is just Nagato's crazy theory, and hasn't really been verified."

I then half-seriously concluded, "So... You two are like aliens, right?"


	25. Best of Both Worlds

- Chapter 5: Best of Both Worlds

I think I wasn't really in the mood to take Yuki seriously, though she did gently insist that she could be described as "alien" in the most strict sense of the word. Things were coming together, at least, and I think I'd be content to keep quiet about it, since Yuki had basically provided my way to college with her excellent tutoring. There were surely many better things she could have done with her time, like being a mercenary, although any time I bring that up, she tends to ignore me. I'm probably the closest thing she has to a friend, and I'd really like to live up to that title a little better than I have been, recently. She doesn't complain about me, but I've noticed that she also doesn't complain on my behalf, so we probably have the most perfect relationship ever.

If anyone had a legitimate complaint, it would be Hibi. Just to satisfy my curiosity, I picked up some albums she helped work on, and I was completely blown away by the two or three tracks she wrote on each one. There was just no getting around the fact that she was singing about me, and although I wouldn't hesitate to recommend her work as a matter of taste, I would strongly hesitate to offer her work to anyone I knew. They would undoubtedly see my hand in it, and either think very much less of me or show me great pity that I had put up with that girl for so long. That she could express grief, jealousy, fury, bewilderment, and disappointment while breathing her own faults so quaintly that they seemed like virtues was the most ingenious aspect of her work. I found myself amazed and repulsed at the same time.

I wondered if Asahina had felt the same way about me. She surely had a lot of reason to complain about me, and I never saw her again. It was a pity, because I felt as though there was a brief connection between us, and had I not been so bored, maybe things would have gone more smoothly. That I had messed up whatever world we had created seemed pretty obvious, and it was probably just as well that I wouldn't be living in that world. This world of mine was becoming a brilliant place in spite of all the problems, and I couldn't think of a single thing to complain about in spite of my many failures to contribute toward its success. My only regret was the way I had treated Asakura, but then that situation had been helped along a little.

I did manage to convince Asakura to aspire to learning for the sake of being a better person, and that did seem to make a big difference for her. She really surprised herself. In the years to come, since she had begun accumulating expertise, she became notorious for her outstanding consulting skill. Thanks to that, she became a fast favorite of a number of wealthy and powerful people who didn't insist that she be the center of attention at parties. In contrast to what she'd been expecting, she actually became a far more sober and reserved individual, though it took some time for her to overcome a tendency to use drinking as a way to help get her points across.

Meanwhile, I had begun groping my way through college. Before I get into all that, I should mention that there was a club I had joined that seemed to cater to people like me. Miss Suzumiya had informed me that she was planning to head up a circle called the "Occult Research Club." I figured I might at least check it out, since I had (probably) taken a trip to the past, although I wasn't sure about how I would convince them. I already knew that Suzumiya was unaware of anything different between her reality and the one I had witnessed. She had mentioned being distracted a few times in weird ways on the night in question, but that was the only weird thing she had mentioned. I wanted to follow up on that, being curious about the nature of time travel, if nothing else.

When I entered the club room, it seemed a lot like the old literature club. The only difference was that I saw a studious man reading at the table, while Suzumiya was in the middle of gesturing toward the windows.

"Hello," I said. "Is this the occult research club?"

"Hey there!" Suzumiya said. "This is the place."

The man softly complained, "I thought we weren't going to call it that."

"What did you want to call it?" she asked.

"The unexplained phenomenon group," he answered.

"Oh," she said. "Well, whatever. Potayto, potahto."

"I didn't expect to see you two here," I said, recognizing Shigeru Kida after a few moments.

Kida then told me, "Please, have a seat."

"Why not?" Suzumiya asked, as I sat.

"Nothing..." I said, not sure what I had expected. "Anyway, funny coincidence, huh?"

"So, you're joining, of course?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure," I said.

Kida put down his book, and he at once struck me as a very professional man. Other than that, the glasses, and his inclination to wear suits, we seemed to have a lot in common.

"Have we met?" he asked.

"You remember?" I asked. "Yesterday? We met at my History class."

"Right," he said. "Sorry. I forget my manners at times."

"You saw our flyers?" Suzumiya asked me.

"Yeah," I answered, thinking how odd those looked.

She then asked me, "So, you have an unexplained phenomenon to share with us?"

"Oh..." I said. "Well, before we do that, I'm wondering if..."

Kida then said, "It's understandable you'd have doubts about our purposes."

"Yeah," I agreed. "I mean, I'd love to talk about everything, but I'd need some assurances."

"I understand," he said. "Let me just say first that you came to the right man. I understand you need secrecy, and I promise we won't breathe a word you don't want us to outside this room. You'll have to excuse my fiancee here. She's gets a little overly excited about the prospect of the strange and unusual."

"Your fiancee?" I asked, wondering who he meant.

"Yeah," Suzumiya said, apparently assuming I knew it was her. "Is that a problem?"

"No," I replied. "On the contrary, that's great. So, when is the date, or has that been set?"

"That's still in progress," he softly answered. "You know what that's like?"

"I guess not," I admitted. "I mean, I have been dating for a while, but..."

"Yes, I know," he said. "I've done some checking. I hope you don't mind, but when I remembered your name just now, it made me recollect a dossier I had drawn up on you."

"Oh?"

"Your current roommate is a woman named Yuki Nagato?"

"That's right."

"She transferred to our high school in the first year and joined the literature club. She showed a great interest in playing games. She also showed a remarkable aptitude for uncovering tricks that Haruhi attempted to play on her. I found her interesting, but I didn't have the opportunity to introduce myself. She's staying with you?"

This guy was well-informed, for being a little forgetful. I made a brief note to myself to be careful, dealing with this guy.

"Yeah," I said.

"Yes," he said, "that's right."

"So, you two already know about her?" I asked.

"We learned about her by reputation," he answered.

I then asked, "What made you want to start this club?"

He replied, "There was some dispute among the previous members over what to make the club. Once they had graduated, I was the only one who remained. This seemed an appropriate avenue, given Haruhi's interests."

"So," I asked, "now you have to track down a few more members?"

He answered, "We have no pressing need to add members, but it would help the club."

"Well," I said, "there's three of us, now."

"Four," he corrected me.

"Four?" I asked.

Suzumiya asked him, "You really think Koizumi will join this club?"

"I don't see why not," he answered.

She then said, "He keeps complaining that his studies get in the way."

"I'll have to speak with him," Kida softly noted to himself.

"So..." Suzumiya said, turning to me, "What brings you to our den of weirdness, Kyon?"

I sighed briefly, and answered, "Well... I believe I had a little trip through time."

"Time travel?" she asked.

"Yeah..." I replied. "Only, it didn't really seem like I changed anything. I think I may have just helped create a new world. Or maybe two."

"How did that happen?" she asked.

I answered, "There was this girl named Asahina. I don't remember her given name. This was back in the first year of high school. At first, she took us back in time about nine years. We then went forward about six years. In both cases, I ran into Miss Suzumiya."

"Interesting," Kida remarked. "How does it feel to time travel and return?"

I replied, "It seemed like a dream for a long time, but then Yuki told me it wasn't a dream."

"How would she know?" Suzumiya asked me.

"That's just the thing," I answered. "I don't know how, but it seems like she can remember previous worlds."

"Previous worlds?" she wondered.

"Alternate histories," Kida explained. "If it's possible to create new worlds with time travel, it's possible that our own world was created this way."

"Right," I said. "Yuki said that this was the fifth world."

Suzumiya then asked, "So, we've already had four previous worlds?"

Kida then added, "And this Asahina must come from one of those worlds. She helped you create a sixth?"

"Yeah," I answered. "That's the way I figure it."

Suzumiya shrugged and said, "It's not all that much, but what a strange thing to remember."

"Indeed," Kida agreed.

Suzumiya then asked me, "Does she remember details of our lives, or does she just remember general ideas?"

I replied, "She described the worlds as all very different, though she admitted that certain things seemed inevitable. She also mentioned something about a memory archive, and I'm not sure why but she keeps referring to a certain baseball game. She has a peculiar interest in Miss Suzumiya that I don't understand."

Suzumiya had seemed a little shocked when I mentioned the baseball game, and that made me wonder what significance that had.

Kida then said, "We need to meet over dinner, sometime."

"If it's okay," Suzumiya added, "I'd like to come over and check things out."

I answered, "I don't mind, but..."

Kida quickly explained, "Haruhi likes to borrow people's music."

That sounded disturbingly familiar.

Suzumiya looked at him with a scowl and said, "Shigeru worries about government spies, keeping track of our every move. It wouldn't occur to him to worry about me possibly flirting with other guys."

"Flirting..." he said, smirking for a moment. "That's a good one."

"It's okay," I said. "I'm sure Yuki will be there. No need to worry about spies or whatever."

Suzumiya then asked me, "What's a hobby you like?"

"Reading is nice," I replied.

"Oh..." she said. "I should have figured."

Kida then remarked, "Haruhi prefers digital media. It's nice to meet someone with an appreciation for actual media."

"Yeah," I said. "Well, I also watch a lot of TV."

"Oh?" he said. "That's too bad."

- x -

Suzumiya went with me to my apartment. On the way, she didn't talk much, though she did mention that she liked this college. She could have gone to a better one, but she just loved the location. I asked her about the occult and what interested her in it. She wasn't too keen on answering that, but she eventually mentioned how Kida was a bit of a religious fanatic, and she wanted to divert his attention away from all that in a bid to make him somewhat normal. I found this a worthy goal and promised to help her if she would promise to see through her own college aspirations, whatever those were.

She looked at me for a long moment and then enthusiastically agreed. She's kind of funny that way. It's weird, and I'm not sure I can really trust her, but there's something about her that makes me want to trust her. I'd hate to join a club that had a flake in charge, but I didn't really need to worry on that account. It also didn't escape my attention that Suzumiya is extremely beautiful. I let that thought dance around in my mind for a few moments, and then dismissed it.

I should point out that I have nothing against religion. At one time in my youth, I envisioned myself as a priest, and I hold nothing but the highest respect for our saintly monks. They have proven their worth to our civilization many times, and I believe we largely owe our survival to them. Even so, I can't really abide fanatics. They rub me the wrong way, somehow.

I gave Suzumiya a brief overview of my impression of Pope Gregory the first. I had always found the study of religious history to be fascinating, but I got the distinct impression that Suzumiya wasn't quite as interested. She seemed a little relieved when we arrived, and I entered.

"I'm back," I said, noticing Asakura sitting at the couch, watching TV.

"Welcome home," she said.

"I brought a guest," I added.

"Oh!" Asakura said, getting up. "Hey..."

"Whoa," Suzumiya said. "Small world."

"You two know each other?" I asked.

Suzumiya answered, "We were classmates in high school. She transferred in about halfway into the first year."

"There's a funny coincidence," I muttered.

"Hi," Asakura said. "I wish I could stay and chat, but..."

"That's okay," Suzumiya said. "I was just going to leave again, anyway."

"Oh?" said Asakura.

"So," Suzumiya then asked, "we'll get together on Saturday?"

"Sounds fine to me," I answered.

"Okay," she said. "I'll see you then." Suzumiya then left.

"Something wrong?" I asked Asakura. "You look a little down."

"I can't seem to find Shamisen," she said.

"You can't?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "I looked everywhere for him."

"Weird. He probably just wandered off for a while. He'll come back."

"I don't know. I should go home."

"Okay..."

- x -

Yuki likes to get to bed around ten, so it's a bit of a struggle to stay in sync with her. She keeps telling me not to bother, but I like the idea of sharing. She just looks at me funny, but it doesn't matter. I can't usually get to sleep before midnight.

That particular evening, I was thinking about sixth century European history, and reading up on that again, while Yuki was lying in bed. I think she had a lot on her mind, and she wasn't quite ready to sleep, just yet.

"You've signed up for that club?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

"And Shamisen is missing?"

"That's what Asakura said."

She looked at me, and I sighed. I felt bad about it, but I think Yuki had become even more attached to him than I was.

"Yeah," I said, "it was a mistake to give him to her."

She sat up and added, "My programming began to fail sooner than usual, this time. I should have avoided admitting that."

"Your programming?" I asked.

She then put on her glasses and picked up her cigarettes.

"What do you mean by that?" I then asked.

She lit up and explained, "I'm what you would term an alien."

"Okay," I said. "I thought we've already been over this."

She continued, "My superiors always forbid me from telling you, but you always reach that conclusion anyway."

I mentioned, "I told Miss Suzumiya about the previous worlds."

"Yes," Yuki said. "I think this is the crucial failure in the reasoning of my superiors."

"So," I asked, "what's the problem with just telling me to begin with?"

"We don't trust you," she smoothly replied.

"Okay."

"Your association with Haruhi Suzumiya makes you dangerous, and that presents a number of difficult potential challenges."

"Like?"

"For example, Haruhi Suzumiya has the ability to subconsciously manipulate absolute data. For you to make her aware of this would precipitate into a disaster."

I think I understood her use of the word "subconsciously," but the rest was a bit of a blur. It sounded to me like she was saying that Suzumiya is a bit of a deity. I wondered what Augustine would say about that, but then I realized that the answer to that would have to come from a previous volume on the fifth century.

"I find that hard to believe," I softly remarked.

Yuki admitted, "It is speculative, and you have proven apt in deflecting the issue. But if you were to seriously convince her of this reality, my projections have shown that the result is massive failure."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said.

She then said, "Also keep in mind that you have aligned yourself with humans who possess certain psychic abilities."

"Who?" I asked.

"Itsuki Koizumi is one," she replied. "He has the ability to find alternate spaces and to confront lifelike emanations of unknown origin."

Itsuki Koizumi? I took a moment to remember. I had briefly met him on the first day. He was also in my History class, but all I could remember was how absurdly popular he was. That's not an easy feat in a college class. Now, I remember. Koizumi is the one who had introduced me to Kida. Kida wasn't taking that class. He was a couple years ahead of us, so he had come in after class to have a word with Koizumi, and Koizumi had taken an interest in me because I was speaking to Suzumiya at the time.

"Is our living together a problem?" I asked, a little worried that she was slowly building up to that.

"No," she answered.

"Okay," I said, relieved about that.

"This isn't the first time," Yuki added.

"For a moment," I explained, "I thought you didn't trust me because I'm human."

"It presents a problem," she said, "but I would not term it a matter of trust."

"What kind of problem?" I asked.

"I always develop an emotional attachment," she softly answered.

I thought for a moment, then asked, "Is that what that 'erroneous data' was that you kept going on about?"

"It takes time," she said, "but when I encounter deterioration, I become more self aware."

"Deterioration?" I asked, wondering if she would ever get back around to explaining programming.

She replied, "When I adhere to affection, there is always serious degeneration. When the interaction is mutual, I degenerate into chaotic patterns and weakened self-preservation. I start to neglect observations and rely more on internal data."

Yep. Sounds about right. "You make that sound like a bad thing," I complained.

She then added, "Degeneration does give the impression of a less difficult, more comforting perception of one's surroundings. Ryoko Asakura, for example, always degenerates quickly in her circumstances. This time will prove to be far more rapid than in previous instances."

"I suppose that's my fault," I added.

"It is," she smoothly agreed. "I had hoped to avoid it, but there is always conflict between her and Haruhi Suzumiya."

"Is there conflict between us?" I asked, hoping to steer this conversation back where it belonged.

"Yes," she answered, "but only where it cannot be avoided."

I then said, "I suppose that's mainly because of your superiors."

She told me, "It's mainly because of your nature, and because you are human. I cannot accurately assess your data, and your mortality always results in my failure to preserve the integrity of this interface."

"Emotional attachments drag you down?"

"That can be surmounted. The difficulty is that I inevitably succumb to auditory schizophrenia and involuntary dissociative episodes. It impedes my data collection abilities to the extent that I lose focus on my primary purposes."

"Sorry."

I took her glasses and put them on myself, on a spur of the moment. To my surprise, I couldn't see any difference.

"You don't really need glasses, do you?" I asked.

"They are superfluous," she said.

"What do you think?" I asked. "Do I look more distinguished?"

"They make you appear villainous," she answered.

"Yeah," I said, "those cigarettes aren't helping you, either."

- x -

Somehow, just being near Yuki makes her want to speak to me, and she eventually realized that. She then sent me out of the bedroom. So much for sharing. I'm sure she'll come around. She probably just isn't used to the idea.

It did help me read, and for a while I sat at the table reading. Eventually, I looked up, and I was startled to see a strange bluish figure standing nearby.

Once I calmed down, I said, "Hello. I take it you're a lifelike emanation of unknown origin?"

I started to get up, but the creature motioned in a way with its arms that seemed to tell me to stay seated.

"Oh, okay," I said. "I don't suppose you can just talk?"

"Talk?" it responded.

It took me a moment, but I then realized that I wasn't seeing it move its mouth or anything. In fact, I don't think I heard it speaking. I don't even recall it using words, per se.

"Oh boy," I told myself. "I must be dreaming."

"If you are," it said, "then please stay asleep."

"Why?" I asked.

It replied, "Because what would happen to me if you awoke?"

That made a weird kind of sense. I then thought back to something Yuki had just told me. "Aren't you worried about Koizumi showing up?"

"Should I be?" it asked.

I answered, "I was told that he confronts creatures like you."

It tilted its head, as if trying to contemplate all that.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Who are you?" it asked right back.

"I guess I had that coming," I softly admitted. "Okay. I am being a little rude, here."

"I know who you are," it said.

"You do?" I asked, thinking this creature was wildly contradictory.

"You told me that you were Mephistopheles," it answered.

"Huh?" I said, then remembered. "Oh..."

It then added, "You also told me that you were John Smith, so I'm not sure which memory to believe."

"Yeah," I said, "those were both lies. I can't remember the John Smith one, though."

"As far as I can tell," it said, "I am the embodiment of love and peacefulness."

"How do you figure that?" I asked.

"Well..." it said, holding up an arm, "...I'm not exactly as you are, flesh and bone. I have only good memories of when things go as they should, and I can't remember ever being confronted by a Koizumi. I assume that name is supposed to mean something to me."

"You sure you can't remember bad things?" I asked.

"Hmm..." it said. "I do remember you..."

So, I'm the one who it thinks of when it recalls bad memories?

It then said, "My memories of you are mostly a blur. It occurs to me now that you were mainly deceiving me in one way or the other. I remember sitting all alone for a long time, thinking how much I hated you and wondering how I could continue on. You would then appear to me in a mysterious way and tell me that I was wrong about the afterlife. The moment I'd begin doubting your existence, though, you would vanish and leave me alone again."

It then hit me. This was the work of Suzumiya's subconscious. Somehow, she could remember everything, even previous worlds. This figure was like the living form of that memory, albeit not what I would really call "living."

"Okay," I said, "this is getting a little spooky."

"Just now?" it asked.

Yuki then appeared and walked in her odd way to within reach of me.

"Are you...?" she asked.

"Do you remember Yuki Nagato?" I asked the figure.

It took a moment and then complained, "This one... Why is this one always in my way?"

"So, you do remember her?" I asked.

"She can understand me, can't she?" it asked.

I asked Yuki, "Can't you hear her?"

"Her?" she asked. "Do you mean the emanation?"

"Yeah," I said. Somehow, the voice had seemed feminine, but I can't really think of it that way, in retrospect.

"You appear to have some unique ability," Yuki concluded.

"Interesting," I said.

"She's always watching me," the figure complained. "Why does she do that?"

"It's her job," I replied. "Don't take it personally."

"Oh, okay," it said.

"She watches me, too," I added. "So, it isn't just about you."

"I just assumed..." it started.

"Yeah, I know."

"Are you deceiving me again?"

"No. Why would I do that?"

"Well..."

Yuki asked me, "Could you ask about Ryoko Asakura?"

The figure looked upset with that name.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," I said.

"Why not?" Yuki asked.

I replied, "I'm guessing there isn't much love and peacefulness in those memories."

"There are memories?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "The weird thing is why Koizumi hasn't appeared."

A moment later, I saw a large ball of red energy come flying into the room. Koizumi then emerged from it, looking very confused.

"There he is," I said. I then asked the figure, "Do you remember him, now?"

"Why is he...?" it asked.

"What on Earth?" Koizumi demanded, a little startled.

"Let's all stay calm," I told him. "Let's not forget where we are."

"Okay," he answered. "If you insist."

"Honestly," it said. "I have no memory of this person."

"You sure?" I asked. "Think hard."

"Well..." it then said. "He does seem a little familiar."

"Oh?" I asked. "That's good. What do you remember?"

"He's always smiling," it replied. "It's unsettling, don't you think?"

I chuckled and said, "I guess that would be. I only just met him the other day, myself."

The figure continued, "He seems to have some weird hold over me, but then I remember Shamisen told me about that. Koizumi is playing some kind of mind game with me."

"Shamisen?" I asked.

"Yeah," it answered. "The cat."

"He speaks to you?" I asked, very baffled.

"Of course," it replied. "Why not? Doesn't he speak to you?"

"No," I answered. "Why should he?"

"Well..." it started, but then it got interrupted by the front door.

Asakura entered, saying, "What's going on in here?"

The figure turned around, and it started trembling.

"Okay, hang on," I said. "Let's all calm down."

Asakura looked shocked for a few moments, then she ran out of the room again. The figure began to move toward her, but I exclaimed, "Whoa! Stop!" The figure stopped and looked at me, and I added, "That's enough."

"Why are you defending her?" it asked me. "She tried to take your life."

"She did?" I asked.

"Yes," it replied. "I remember it very clearly."

I sighed and said, "That might be true in some other world, but in this one she has done nothing to me."

"She isn't the same person?" it asked.

"Of course not," I said. "We may know things about each other, but we are all unique." I then asked Yuki, "Isn't that right?"

"Yes," she replied.

It then complained, "But you all seem so familiar."

"Yeah, well," I said. "That's where you're wrong. I never told you that I was John Smith. That was some other me. And I have no idea how you know about Mephistopheles. That hasn't happened yet, outside of my memory."

"But I do remember it," the figure insisted.

Koizumi looked very confused, and he seemed like he was itching to ask some questions.

"Yeah, but how?" I asked.

"I don't know," it answered.

I sighed again and said, "Maybe you should just go. Let's talk about this later, okay? It's almost midnight, and I think I should really go to bed, now."

"Okay," it said, relenting. It then turned around and promptly disappeared.

"Oh, wow," Koizumi said. "You told it to go and it went."

Yuki softly added, "I wish I had known about this ability you had before."

"Huh?" I asked. "Oh... You really can't speak to her?"

"No," she replied.

Koizumi then said, "Sorry I intruded. I can just let myself out."

"That's okay," I told him. "Feel free to hang around if you like. I'm just going to bed, anyway."

- x -

Yuki wasn't as averse to sharing the bed with me from that point on, and I like to think it's because she's a little afraid of the blue creature, but that's probably just my imagination. In any case, the world was starting to make a lot of weird sense, and it wasn't boring at all, though it probably would start to become boring. Or rather, it would have, except that I remembered that Miss Suzumiya had appeared just in time to rescue me from that.

That morning at school, I stopped by the vending machine to grab a Coke. I popped it open and began drinking it right there. About halfway through, I noticed Suzumiya had appeared.

"Hey," she said.

"Oh, hey," I greeted her back.

"You drink Coke?" she asked, a hint of a scowl on her face.

"I know," I said. "I didn't used to, but I kind of prefer it, now."

"I think I'll just have some tea with cream," she said. She then put in some coins and pressed a button. "I used to hate tea with cream, but Shigeru has really got me hooked on it."

"Oh?"

"Although... Last night around midnight, I had this sudden craving for plain old iced coffee. Isn't that weird?"

"Around midnight?"

"Yeah. I couldn't sleep, so I wandered around for a bit. I'm still getting used to living here."

Weird coincidence, there. I then remarked, "I know the feeling."

She then said, "It was at eleven-thirty, actually. I wandered around, and I eventually found myself at a convenience store. I didn't get back home until fifteen after midnight."

"Weird," I said.

"Yeah," she agreed. "I normally just go right to sleep and don't get up till around five."

"Early riser?" I asked.

"That's right," she answered. She then picked up her drink from the machine, and said, "Anyway..." She then gulped it down in one go. "Now, that's the way to drink tea with cream."

"Really?" I asked.

"Oh yeah!" she exclaimed. "What a rush! I'll see you later."

"Later," I said, as I watched her jog back down the hall. What a spaz.

- Fin

- x -

- Extra

- Living, breathing discipline

At the club room. Kyon enters, finding Yuki there, reading. Koizumi and Haruhi are also there.

Kyon: Oh! Hey, Yuki. You finally decided to join?

Haruhi: You're late, Kyon. Let's get started.

Kyon: Okay. Hey, where's Kida?

Haruhi: Shigeru? He's taking a break from the club for a while.

Kyon: Why did he do that?

Haruhi: He said he didn't want to get lectured again by you.

Kyon: Lectured? When did I do that?

Haruhi: You remember that whole discussion on the influence of Arians in Europe and Africa?

Kyon: Yeah?

Haruhi: Yeah.

Kyon: Oh. Well, I was just informing him of the recent discoveries. You know, if you're going to quote history, you really have to keep up. History is really a living, breathing discipline.

Haruhi: Speaking of discipline, it's about time you guys heard my lectures on mysteries of the world. Have a seat, Kyon. I think you'll enjoy it.

- x -

- Bad habits

Kyon and Yuki are standing near the vending machine. Kyon is drinking a Coke, while Yuki smokes. Haruhi approaches.

Kyon: Hey, Miss Suzumiya.

Haruhi: Hey.

Kyon: Tea with cream?

Haruhi: No, I thought I'd try something different. Coke, again?

Kyon: Yeah? What?

Haruhi: That stuff 'll make you fat.

Kyon: I don't drink that much.

Haruhi: The kind of sugar they use in it is especially unhealthy.

Kyon: Thanks, Mom.

Haruhi: I'm just telling you this for your own good.

Kyon: ...

Haruhi: What?

Kyon: I notice you didn't say anything to Yuki.

Haruhi: Yeah, well... She's a lost cause.

- x -

- About Hibiki

Proofreader: I created this character a while back in homage to the early rock/Motown/R&B sound that Ryoko Asakura likes. Hibiki is also a talented pianist and vocalist. Her first hit song was "Why don't you cry?" (which she produced in her third year in high school) and she was married a couple years after that. She got divorced about nine years after that and moved to Vancouver shortly after that. Asakura was always a huge fan of her work and had plans to create a partnership after Hibiki's move to Canada, but those plans always fall through at the last moment because of problems arising related to Suzumiya. Her brief encounter with Kyon in this one time plane made her a more vocal feminist, and she became notorious for having loud and furious break-ups with the men she liked. Thanks to Kyon, however, she creates three additional early albums (which gain her a cult following in Japan) and never actually moves to Canada. She keeps up with everything that happens to Kyon, finding quite a bit of inspiration from the unusual situations he keeps finding himself in.

Author: Hmm... Sounds familiar...

Proofreader: And, for what it's worth, she's a girl of average height and weight, who has somewhat masculine facial features and a tendency to keep her hair curly (she's very touchy about her hair). She strikes people as being nice and friendly, although people usually find out soon enough that she isn't altogether sociable. People who know her well tend to insult her behind her back, and she's aware of that, and she isn't happy about it. She tends to have oddly romantic fantasies about most of the men she likes and then complains openly when her fantasies don't quite match reality. She has excellent health and tends to do well at most physical activities, though she proves to be pretty lazy most of the time.

- x -

- About time travel

Author: I'm confused.

Proofreader: We've been over this.

Author: Remind me. How does this work again?

Proofreader: This is all straight out of canon. Lasting changes create an alternate temporal plane. In some cases, memories of those alternate planes transfer to the conscious mind. There are two special exceptions.

Author: Okay, what are those?

Proofreader: Time quakes and time tunnels.

Author: I've heard of a time quake, but what the heck is a time tunnel?

Proofreader: A time tunnel is when you have a paradox within one temporal plane.

Author: Like what?

Proofreader: For example, when Haruhi goes to both that other school and North High in Disappearance. That was due to a time tunnel created by Haruhi when Kyon called out to her from the darkness. Or like when Kyon triggered the program in Disappearance. It's basically how Disappearance resolves its conflicts.

Author: I don't understand how that's supposed to work.

Proofreader: Well, that's just the thing. I don't think Tanigawa-sensei really knew what he was writing when he came up with that device. It just somehow works. I came up with this term, because that makes it easy to imagine.

Author: How do you explain it?

Proofreader: I like to say Haruhi can create a time tunnel and leave it at that. She's Haruhi, so she can just do whatever she wants.

Author: Deux ex machina, then?

Proofreader: Right.

Author: Okay. Now that think about it, I have no idea what a time quake is.

Proofreader: That's obviously a disruption in the absolute temporal data stream.

Author: ...

Proofreader: Basically, a time quake disrupts all the previous temporal disruptions, rendering all the temporal planes inaccessible before that point in time. Except via a time tunnel, of course.

Author: Of course.

Proofreader: You understand, now?

Author: Not a bit.

- x -


	26. Psychobabble

Origins of Haruhi - The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina

- x -

- Foreword

I think I've started to catch on to the fact that this story, as a whole, is drifting further and further away from the kind of reality that I know. Apparently, there were so many differences created by so many time travelers, that I was practically the opposite of the person I know myself to be. It's all very strange, because I recognize a lot of my own wording and manners in all this, and I find it hard not to accept that this could have actually happened to me. Still, it's so very strange that I can't help but think of this story like a dream, and not just because Mikuru Asahina becomes a serious love interest. That fact alone would alert most of you perceptive readers to think that this story was entirely made up, but I can assure you that it's a lot more strange than just that.

For example, this story begins at the start of my high school experiences with many of the same events that occur in my time. My reactions to them are more like the way an artist might react, and I start to look more like the way I perceive Haruhi Suzumiya in my own time. I'm not about to spaz my way through this story, though. You can relax if you were afraid that would happen. This is really just a story about how I go about making a movie. That's right. I get creative urges and put them to use. What? You shouldn't be surprised. Whenever Haruhi isn't in the way, I can actually accomplish something like this. Really. Anyway, it's not like I'm not capable of writing. I have been writing about my experiences in every time plane (except for the third one).

Yuki Nagato explained to me just a few days ago that this time plane was a crucial turning point of development, where Haruhi revolted against the whole notion of normalcy, instituting a policy of desperate grasping for anything weird or unusual. It also marked the first instance where Yuki recognized the danger of Haruhi's tendency to confuse fantasy and reality. The problems were subtle, since it wasn't her own fantasy, but there was still the danger. That shaped this story in ways that I didn't anticipate, and it's a wonder to me that I was able to resolve it all.

There's also an obligatory mystery of what happened to the me from the third time plane, and Yuki just told me that it's a secret. Whatever. She likes messing with me, so I'm used to this. Please don't take offense. Instead of being rational about it, I've decided to approach this subject in the more mystical sense. Call it laziness if you want, but I'd prefer not to try and explain it. I'm having a hard enough time as it is understanding what's going on just in this sixth time plane. You may as well ask me what the story is with Shamisen. I don't know. And frankly, I don't care.

To you readers, I think I probably come across as not so much in the wrong as simply not very pragmatic. If there's anyone you could accuse of being too idealistic, it would have to be me. It shouldn't be that surprising, though. I grew up in a small town. I've only recently started to have the luxury of living in a nice house and having technological niceties. To me, life has always been about counting the minutes between meals and making sure my mother doesn't get too upset with me. I've never had the good fortune of being presented with a world of my own to toy with, so I really wasn't very familiar with that creative impulse. The me in this story, however, is very different from all that. The me in this story has had some time to walk around in other people's shoes and to understand the kind of time it takes to get the world into a state that you want it to be in, and to be extremely realistic about that if not entirely pragmatic.

- x -

- Chapter 1: Psychobabble

"I'm Haruhi Suzumiya. I went to East Middle. I have no interest in ordinary humans, but if any of you are aliens, sliders, or espers, please come see me. That is all."

Imagine, if you will, that this had been said in a classroom on your first day of high school directly behind you. You might have a hard time convincing yourself that you'd actually heard it and not imagined it, right? In particular, since I had just been thinking how nice it would be to finally witness something interesting happen in my life.

I mean, I wouldn't really want to be something like an alien, a slider, or an esper. That would just be a hassle. No, what I'd really prefer is to be more like an alien's acquaintance. I'd like to hang out with sliders or espers, rather than actually be one. That would be cool. That would make the world a slightly less miserable place to live, and it wouldn't really cost me anything. Without fully realizing it, I recognized that this weird girl had been speaking something I had just been thinking, and I wondered for a moment whether she'd read my mind.

I turned and looked at her, amusing myself with the thought that I could simply glance at her face and know whether she was reading my mind. What would her face look like? I thought.

"What?" she asked, giving me her characteristic scowl.

"You mind if I use that?" I asked her, before I could stop myself.

"Huh?" she said, now looking confused as well as annoyed.

"That weird premise," I answered. "It's just..."

I stopped and really looked at her, and I was immediately dazzled by her beauty. Here was this amazingly beautiful girl with such classic features, that I momentarily wondered whether I had mistaken her for someone else.

"Oh," she realized, "you're a writer?"

"No," I replied. "I mean, I write as a hobby."

"It's just what?" she then asked.

I then took a moment to reflect on what I had been about to say, and I answered, "I was about to say that you don't often see anyone trying to combine all those themes at once. It's so preposterous, it's almost certain to be a comedy when that happens."

"Why are you asking my permission?" she then asked.

"Well..." I said, about to mention something about respect and giving proper attribution.

"Are you an alien or something?" she then asked.

"No..." I replied, a little taken aback by the question.

She then asked, "So, why are we even talking?" She then emphasized this by turning aside and folding her arms, as if annoyed to waste even a few moments of her time.

I puzzled for a moment, then turned and looked at all the amused faces of my fellow classmates. I was further puzzled by their reaction, but then it hit me that not everyone goes around, looking for the strange and unusual. In fact, they had perceived that this was not just a good premise for a comedy, but somewhat comedic in itself.

Well, let's face it. The question of whether you believe in something like Santa Claus is so stupid, it's not even a topic suitable for idle conversation. Never mind something as outrageous as aliens or espers. To think that someone would simply announce not just their belief but their intention to make contact with aliens in such a straight forward manner was just beyond belief. I mean, she didn't just believe in aliens, she seemed to be absolutely positive that they were real, and that they were only just waiting for an invitation.

That she would cast disdain on the notion of receiving proper attribution and simply let me have my way with her idea was both delightful and bizarre. I don't think I fully appreciated just how bizarre this girl was until I realized that my efforts toward taking inventory of her insanity was also a subject that she considered beneath her. It would be a crime to not pay homage to this strangeness, but it might be an equally weighty crime to not take seriously just how strange it was.

As for myself, I should just say that I have no problem distinguishing fantasy from reality. For example, I've never believed in Santa Claus. Ever. That fat guy in the silly costume? I always knew it was just some guy pretending to be something he wasn't. Much as I might like the thought of being friendly with aliens or whatever, I knew it wasn't going to happen. Or, at least, that's what I always thought.

- x -

I was soon enough so engrossed in this premise and all the things I could do with it that the days started to fly by. Before I knew it, it was approaching the weekend, and I discovered that I was letting my high school experience start to slip by me.

This may sound a little odd, but I had also decided to put the thought of strange and interesting things behind me. I had entered high school with the intention of being serious and squaring myself up with the reality of it all. My own introduction had been nice and proper, having fully rehearsed it, and I was confident that I'd impressed my fellow classmates with my amiable and pleasant ways.

I don't think Kunikida had been fooled, but then I had really been aiming for a good impression among the girls in class. I'd been dreaming the usual teenage dream: walking with a girl, talking about serious things, and generally getting to know her in a way that invited thoughts of a more serious relationship. Because, let's face it, that's what it's really all about.

Nevertheless, I found myself during lunch eating with Kunikida and this other guy who sat near us. Taniguchi was his name. Kunikida was a friend from middle school, and Taniguchi was a guy who had an inventory of his own, who also considered himself somewhat of an expert on the subject of girls. In particular, Haruhi Suzumiya.

"Hey," he said to me. "You spoke with Suzumiya the other day, right? And she drove you away with her random nonsense, right?"

Not exactly. More like, her spectacularly odd perspective.

"If you're interested in her," he continued, "just forget it. I'm not even kidding. She's a super weirdo."

"Is that so?" I asked, wondering how he thought I was interested in her.

"You heard that introduction, right?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

He then added, "Well, I had hoped she'd mellow out after entering high school, but she hasn't changed a bit."

Kunikida asked him, "That thing about aliens and stuff?"

"Oh, yeah," Taniguchi answered. "She did a whole lot of weird stuff back in middle school."

"Like what?" I asked.

"Well," he replied, "the most famous incident was the one where she summoned a demon with some kind of graffiti on the school grounds."

"Graffiti?" I asked.

He answered, "You know that thing you use to draw chalk on the fields? What's it called again? Well, whatever. Anyway, someone used it to draw some huge scribbles on the school grounds. They snuck in at night to do it."

"And she did that?" Kunikida asked.

"She totally admitted it," Taniguchi answered.

"And she summoned a demon?" Kunikida then asked.

Taniguchi replied, "She never said why she did it, but the rumor went around that she opened some kind of portal to another dimension, and a demon came through it. It's a big mystery, though."

In my eyes, this just confirmed my opinion of her. Classic case of delusional fanaticism. She probably suffered from delusions of persecution, and that only reinforced her belief that she might really be onto something. She might have even convinced herself that she'd spoken with a demon.

"Hey, wait a sec," Kunikida said. "I remember reading about that in the local section of the paper."

Taniguchi added, "That's right. They had an aerial photo of it."

Kunikida remarked, "I thought it looked like a failed attempt to draw a Nazca geoglyph."

"What else did she do?" I asked, still curious.

Taniguchi continued, "A whole bunch of other stuff. One morning, we found all the desks out in the hallway. We started to wonder what that was about, but then we saw Suzumiya with a video camera, shooting the empty room. I'm not sure what she thought she was doing."

"Another mystery, huh?" I said, trying to imagine what Suzumiya had been thinking.

"This other time," he added, "she brought in a Ouija board. I can't count the number of times I've seen her stalking people. Still... If she just stands there quietly, you'd never realize."

"She is pretty cute," I admitted.

"You got that right," he said. "Yeah, she is easy on the eyes. Even so, it's not a good idea to try to date her."

"Why not?" I asked.

He explained, "She never lasts very long with any one guy. One guy lasted about a week with her. The shortest time was about five minutes. She just said she wasn't interested in 'normal' humans and broke up with him."

"So, why'd you ask her out?" Kunikida asked him, just before I could think to ask.

"Huh?" Taniguchi said, unaware of what he'd admitted. "I don't mean me."

"Wait," I said. "She never turns anyone down?"

Taniguchi replied, "Yeah, but you've seen how unsociable she is, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"She isn't capable of ordinary conversation."

"Has she always been that serious?"

"Yeah."

"Why is she always in a bad mood?"

"Beats me. But look, if you do find out anything, let me know. I'm itching to know what the story is with her."

Kunikida suddenly had an amused look on his face, and I shot him a questioning look. He then asked me, "This is all heading into a story, right?"

"No," I lied.

Taniguchi then said, "Oh, I get it. You're fishing for ideas."

I added, "I don't need any more weird ideas, actually."

"So, he says," Kunikida said, a little taunting.

"I'm just wondering what the human side of this equation is," I explained.

"You and me, both," Taniguchi said.

- x -

As I said before, the approaching weekend made me aware that I was letting my high school experiences slip by, but this crazy interest in Suzumiya was destined to make my life much more difficult. I should clarify that a bit. I'm not really interested in dating Suzumiya. No one is (no one who's sane, anyway). Looks can only get you so far, even in this messed up world. Anyone dating Suzumiya would soon come to be associated with her and quickly become as socially outcast as she is. More importantly, her lack of respect for proper attribution made me feel afraid that she might eventually try to steal one of my own ideas one day. No telling what kind of weird pranks she might involve a hapless acquaintance in.

I often feel an urgency when I'm writing, and the more I write, the more I feel like I need to say something with my writing. It's important that I have ideas, but it's even more important that I can find a place where I feel comfortable doing my writing. My bedroom has served that purpose admirably, but I'm starting to feel a little claustrophobic there. Once I had taken a few moments to reflect on all this, I sought out a club I could join where my writing would not seem like a strange thing to engage in, and that was how I ended up joining the literature club. The journalism club wouldn't tolerate my creativity, and the poetry club just seemed like a mind-numbing waste of time. The creative writing club mostly devoted itself to analysis and editing of other people's work, so the literature club seemed like the way to go. I needed a place where I'd have the freedom to express myself the way I wanted.

It had nothing to do with the fact that the literature club had a couple of girls in it. That was just an unexpected bonus. The first girl was Mikuru Asahina. When I looked at her the first time, I had this weird sensation that I'd seen her before, but that had probably been the effect of her face. She has the kind of face that makes you feel like you really should know her in some intimate way, and her whole body seems to be a reflection of that, as well. Her looks aren't so much intimidating as much as they seem like they belong in some other world or maybe even some other universe. The other girl struck me as fiercely curious and maybe a little impish. Her name was Yuki Nagato. I immediately sensed in her a strong rival to my ambitions, though she didn't seem as interested in writing as I was. She spent far more time reading than anything else, so I just felt relaxed in that setting.

Soon after joining, I decided to try writing in that setting. I sat at the table, brought out my laptop, and began typing.

Asahina immediately asked me, "You have a computer?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"It's pretty small, huh?" she then asked.

I sighed and answered, "Yeah. I can't get used to this keyboard."

I looked up and took in my surroundings. This seemed pretty familiar, though I'd never bothered with clubs before. The literature club was just an ordinary room with an ordinary table and some ordinary shelves (filled with rather unusual books). My laptop sitting on the table didn't really look all that out-of-place in those surroundings, but something about it all just seemed a little odd. I recognized this feeling. My mind always needs to adjust for a little while to new surroundings before I can get comfortable enough to start writing freely.

I then added, "I don't know if we're going to get the requisite number of members, at this rate."

"You think so?" Asahina asked.

"So far," I observed, "it's just the three of us. I thought for sure the guys would join, but..."

Asahina then assured me in her usual sweet tone, "Well, you never know."

Taniguchi and Kunikida had given surprisingly resistant responses when I'd invited them to join this club, especially when I had mentioned Asahina. When I stopped and thought about it for a minute, it seemed to make sense. Their notion of clubs begin and end with the thought of fun, and they saw nothing fun in spending their time reading, even if it was with pretty girls. I think there might be a bit more to it than just that, but whatever.

I took note of what Nagato was reading and asked her, "What is that? Philosophy?" She nodded, so I then asked, "So, you like to read that stuff?"

"Yes," she answered.

"What do you like about it?" I asked.

"It's unique," she replied.

"It is?" I asked, thinking that philosophy was pretty far from unique.

"It's amusing," she added.

"Yes, it is," I agreed.

She then remarked in her characteristic monotone, "Nothing is more amusing than what humans think is their essential truths."

"You got that right," I muttered.

Asahina then had a strange look on her face, like she was trying to suddenly puzzle something out, and I wondered what was on her mind. I asked her, "So, Miss Asahina. Do you know anyone who's interested in joining our club?"

"I'm afraid not," she answered.

"That's too bad," I said.

She then mentioned, "I do have a friend that's artistically inclined, but her idea of art is more visual."

"Really?" I asked, not completely sure I'd heard her correctly. Asahina has a habit of talking too softly.

"Yeah. She's heavily into photography."

"My friends are more into music or games than literature."

I had thought that what I had said was nothing out of the ordinary, but Asahina once again looked as though I had said something strange. I decided to oblige her, so I added, "There's this one girl in my class who's really weird."

"Is she into literature?" Asahina asked.

I tried to picture that for a moment, and that brought a smile to my face. Suzumiya with a book in hands? "No way," I said. "She'd rather date aliens than pick up a good book."

"Oh."

"I mention her because she inspired me the other day to try my hand at a science fiction comedy."

"You think you're ready for that?"

"Probably not, but no sense in not trying."

It was rather tragic to me to think that Suzumiya couldn't find something amusing to occupy her in an ordinary sense, and I wondered what would make her feel like she had really accomplished something. I don't think I've even seen her smile, and that was somehow the most tragic thing of all. I had a thought that I might not really enjoy seeing her idea of fun, but that's not exactly the same thing.

"Anything I can do to help?" Asahina offered.

"Yeah," I replied. "You have any favorite philosophers?"

"I..." she said, thinking for a moment. "I kind of like Nietzsche."

"Mr. 'God is dead,' huh?" I asked, noting how reluctant she'd been to admit this about herself.

"That's not really my favorite saying of his," she softly admitted.

"What is your favorite saying of his?" I asked.

She answered, "Well, let me think. I think it goes something like, 'He who fights with monsters should be careful not to become a monster, himself.'"

"Yeah," I said, "that's a good one. I can use that."

I'd heard that one before, but it then occurred to me that monsters and interesting people basically amount to the same thing. I began typing an idea that sprang from that.

"You mind if I ask something personal?" she asked.

"Go right ahead," I answered, continuing to type.

"How did you end up with a computer?" she asked.

"What?" I answered. "Computers are pretty commonplace, nowadays."

"I know," she said, "it's just..."

I then admitted, "Yeah, I'm not too technically inclined. I mean, I like to do stuff in Ruby every now and then, but that's not the same thing. Maybe I should update this."

Okay, I exaggerated a bit. Even "doing stuff" might be considered a lie, though that had been the purpose for the machine, in the first place.

"Update?" Asahina then asked.

I explained, "When I was living with my aunt, she was going to get me a video game system, but then she got me this thing. She said that someone told her it would be good for helping me learn to program."

"Oh," Asahina said, still somewhat confused.

"That was weird," I added.

I think it then struck me that Asahina probably didn't quite understand that "update" had meant a complete replacement. I had thought she was asking why I'd want to go through all that, and not that she had no clue at all what I'd meant. I made a mental note of this type of miscommunication, to use in some future composition.

She then asked, "You have any philosophers you like to read?"

"I enjoy Diogenes the Cynic," I answered. "My favorite saying is, 'The noblest people are those despising wealth, learning, pleasure and life; esteeming above them poverty, ignorance, hardship and death.'"

As I expected, Asahina appeared a little thunderstruck by this response, so I added, "I guess that's a not a very popular saying. He's probably better known for when he was once asked where he came from, and he responded, 'I am a citizen of the world.'"

"I see," she said.

There is something in the notion of self-imposed poverty, and not just the kind that monks practice. There's even something to learn in the whole idea of rejecting the idea of progress and civilization, though the thought seems a little off to me.

"I never would have guessed..." Asahina added.

"What?" I asked, wondering what she was alluding to. "That anyone would enjoy a cynic? I'm actually kind of warming up to that philosophy. It has a certain appeal to it."

"I agree," she hastened to add. "It's just that you don't often hear people admit that."

"No kidding," I said.

- x -

Golden Week soon came and went, leaving me with a half-finished story about a girl who openly set out to find interesting people. It was half-finished because my tentative ending involved her friends discovering that aliens attended school with her in her class the whole time, and that was just too similar to the Bluebird of Happiness. I also didn't care much for the idea of having a moral to the story (in particular because the moral would end up being something like: the search for aliens is neverending because the real aliens are inside of you, or some kind of crap like that). As much as I dislike cliche, I think I dislike morality plays the most.

I began to tinker around with the idea of a seemingly ordinary boy who has aspirations of world domination, and I realized that I could combine the two stories to make the story work even better. This weird girl would search for aliens, while the true weirdness would be the ongoing plans of the evil overlord, who'd send out his minions: the android and her beautiful assistant. (I wasn't a very original thinker back then, but hey. I was just a kid, after all. I shudder to think of the reaction if I had published any of my earlier works. They were truly dreadful. What was worse was that I was aware of how bad they were.)

I was so engrossed in the idea of the boyish villain that I almost missed the fact that Suzumiya had cut her hair. With that, she suddenly seemed very boyish, and I couldn't help but wonder what insanity had come over her. She seemed to think that ribbons in her hair would fix it, but that only had the effect of making her seem more childish and petulant. That was the last thing she wanted to convey, given how reluctant people were to approach her.

"You cut your hair?" I immediately asked her.

"You noticed?" she said. "Yeah. I was getting tired of that old look."

"I hope it wasn't because of something I said," I added.

"Yeah, right," she sneered. "Idiot."

"It looks nice," I assured her, hoping she'd believe me.

"Isn't it?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "You might even make a few friends."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she then asked.

I explained, "I mean, people might have been intimidated by your looks."

"Like I care about friends," she said, rolling her eyes.

"You don't?" I asked, sincerely curious.

"Friends are just a hassle," she replied. "I don't have time for friends. I want to find some interesting people."

I marveled at the inherent contradiction of this statement, but then this new hair style of hers intruded into my thoughts again. Cutting her hair did give her more of a generic charm, and I realized that if she were the heroine of my story, it would almost be considered de rigueur for her to have shorter hair than that other style. Once again, she seemed to be reading my mind. I didn't really care for this confluence of weirdness.

"What?" she asked, seeing the perplexed look on my face.

I smoothly offered, "Maybe interesting people would like you better if you were a little sociable."

"I'm sociable," she said, a little defensively.

"You sure about that?" I asked. "I haven't seen you smile once."

She answered, "I don't have to be childish to prove I can get along with people."

"Okay," I said, consciously stopping myself from pointing out how much more childish she looked now than two weeks ago.

"And anyway," she quickly continued, "I did invite interesting people to come talk to me. What more do they want?"

It seemed like a valid complaint. That is, if there were any interesting people. "Maybe you'll bump into a few during lunch," I stated, only half serious.

"Hmm..." she said, catching me by surprise with a very thoughtful look on her face.

"What is it?" I asked, curious to know what brought that on.

She frowned deeply and softly admitted, "There's something familiar about you. Have we met before? I mean, before high school."

"I don't think so," I answered.

"I'm almost certain of it," she insisted.

"I think I would have remembered meeting you," I said, very certain of myself.

"Maybe," she relented. "Okay, just forget it. It's probably nothing."

- x -

I was feeling confident that I could soon finish my story about the girl and the villain with the strange companions, but I worried about the club. It was probably just my imagination, but I began to think that there was some hostility in the student council toward us, and it suddenly became important to me that we obtain the necessary five members. I don't recall anything in the student handbook about it being a necessity, but I also don't recall any rumors about the student council that involved showing kindness or generosity toward the fringe elements of the student body. We couldn't even technically be called a club with only five members, but we'd at least be some kind of association (which was better than nothing).

As I sat with Taniguchi and Kunikida having lunch that day, I seriously considered asking them again to join the club. I had a look at Taniguchi's face, and he seemed unusually preoccupied.

"What's bugging you?" I asked him.

"Leave me alone," he said.

"He's depressed," Kunikida explained.

"What for?" I asked.

Kunikida answered, "Isn't it obvious? That girl shot him down."

"That girl?" I asked.

"Asakura," Taniguchi answered. "Man, what a waste."

I glanced at her and asked Taniguchi, "Oh, you mean that really beautiful girl sitting right there? Should we really be talking about her?"

"Probably not," Kunikida softly added.

"What's the point?" Taniguchi complained. "It ain't like she doesn't know."

"About what?" I asked, getting a little annoyed.

Kunikida sighed and remarked, "She is kind of creepy, to be honest."

Ryoko Asakura was in our class, although I sometimes puzzled why she even bothered. I never saw her do anything more than assignments and quizzes, and any time a teacher would call on her, she would usually pretend not to hear unless they really got fed up and insisted that she answer (whereupon she would quickly answer with all the correct answers and then glare at them for apparently wasting everyone's time by bothering her). She had a number of friends, but she always had the most distant expressions I think I've ever seen. Why Taniguchi showed an interest in her, I don't know. I guess looks are all that really matters to him. Asakura easily beats Suzumiya in that department, though her personality puts people off. Kunikida speaking to her was something unexpected. He's usually a good judge of character, so I hadn't expected him to show an interest.

"You spoke to her?" I asked him.

"She seemed like a nice person," he replied, "so I struck up a conversation. She just kept going on about how it was all my fault or something."

"She mistook you for someone else?" I asked.

"I don't think so," he said, a sour look settling in on his face.

"You do get that a lot, though."

"She said if I hadn't gone into photography, everything would have been so much better. Weird, huh?"

"You're into photography?"

"I have a lot of interests. I told her that I'm really more into playing guitar, so she told me to join the jazz club."

"There's a jazz club?"

"Yeah. It's a lot of fun. I'm actually enjoying that."

So much for getting Kunikida into the literature club. That just left me with the less appealing possibility of convincing Taniguchi to join.

"Must be nice," Taniguchi remarked.

"You join a club, yet?" Kunikida asked him.

"Nah," he answered. "I don't have time for club."

"Why not?" I asked. "Hey, why don't you join the literature club?"

"Forget about it," he replied. "If I even think about becoming a writer, my old man would kill me."

"That sucks," I said. "But you know, I don't plan on becoming a writer, either. It's just a hobby."

"I don't know," he admitted. "Maybe."

He didn't sound all that enthusiastic. Once again, I wondered why he would balk at the notion of joining a club with the school's most perfect girl, especially after he just got shot down by the school's most disappointing girl. It was baffling.

"What's up with you and Suzumiya?" he then asked me.

"There's something up?" I wondered.

"Yeah," he answered. "I saw you talking to her, earlier. I have never seen her speak that much with anyone. Did you use some kind of magic or something?"

"No," I answered. "I just mentioned her hair."

"She did get a hair cut," Kunikida informed him.

"Oh yeah," Taniguchi said. "I should have noticed that."

Kunikida added, "She is the hottest girl in class. You really should have noticed."

"I did kind of write her off," Taniguchi admitted. "I mean, aside from being a weirdo, she's busy joining all the clubs in school."

"Really?" I said. "I haven't seen her at Literature Club."

"She try out at Jazz Club?" Taniguchi asked.

Kunikida answered, "She did, actually. She seemed like she was going to stick around, too. She's actually quite good at guitar."

"So, what happened?" I asked.

"I don't know," he replied. "I just started to play a little, myself, and then she left. I had the impression she takes a lot of pride in her playing, though. It's too bad."

"Yeah, it is," I agreed.

Kunikida then asked Taniguchi, "Is she just trying out all the clubs?"

"Yeah," he answered. "And the athletic clubs keep trying to convince her to join, but she always turns them down."

I remarked, "It's like she was serious about finding aliens or whatever."

Taniguchi added, "Depressing, isn't it?"

I said, "I think it's pretty cool, actually."

"You would," Kunikida said, a little disapprovingly.

"What?" I asked.

He smiled and answered, "Kyon always goes for the weird ones. The weirder, the better."

- x -

As a general rule, I don't linger much on myself. I'm actually pretty accommodating with most everyone, and I don't get bent out of shape about it. For example, when the club finally found another member, I invited us to celebrate the occasion with some drinks, even going so far as to retrieve them myself. This is just an old habit I have, and it's rare that it even crosses my mind to think that there might be a problem. So, if you're wondering who this "Kyon" person is, wonder no more. And no, that's not my name. That's just a silly nickname I acquired when I was about ten, and it's stuck to me ever since.

The new member of our club was a guy by the name of Itsuki Koizumi. He usually looked like he just got back from doing a photo shoot at his modeling gig, and his manners reminded me of one of those stereotypical monks from an old samurai movie set in the Edo period. That is to say, he was unwaveringly nice, but I always had the lingering impression that there was an implied hidden dagger behind that constant smile and proper attitude of his.

I arrived with our drinks and gave him his: "Here's yours."

"Thanks," he responded.

"And yours," I said, giving one to Asahina.

"I appreciate it," she answered, and I involuntarily smiled at this remark.

"And yours," I said, giving one to Nagato.

"Okay," she said, so as to not get left out of the conversation.

I then sat and had a bit of my own.

"I hope I didn't get you all mixed up," I added.

"No," Asahina answered, "I got what I asked for."

"Really," Koizumi lightly complained. "This is too much. You didn't need to go out of your way."

"It's okay," I assured him. "I really don't mind. Anyway, it's nice to finally have four in our club. Now, if we could just get one more."

Koizumi then started, "So, if you don't mind me asking...?"

"What is it?" I casually prompted.

He then asked, "Are you like the president of the club or something?"

"President?" I said, then laughed at the thought of such a thing. "You must kidding. Why would a little club need some pecking order?"

"Indeed," he softly agreed.

"No," I replied. "If anyone here is in charge, it's Miss Nagato."

He then inquired, "Why is that, if I may ask?"

"Well," I answered, "she has seniority. She's been here since the first day."

"That's right," Asahina said. "The two of us didn't join until later."

"I see," Koizumi stated. "Well, I have to admit, there is something to be said for a more laid back atmosphere in a club."

"You got that right," I muttered.

"Do you have any activities?" he asked. "Or is it just reading, so far?"

I offered, "You can write if you like."

Asahina then added, "I don't think we have anything planned, as of yet."

"So," Koizumi asked, "would it be okay to offer a few suggestions?"

"I don't mind if no one else minds," I answered.

Koizumi studied our faces for a few moments, then suggested, "I know this is a little ambitious, but I think it might be a good idea to hold a play for the culture festival. What do you think?"

From the look on Asahina's face, it seemed to me that that was a bad idea. She has an odd fearlessness at times, but she mostly impresses me as being abnormally shy. I couldn't even imagine her on a stage, trying to project and emote with all the proper technique of a real theater actor.

"Well," I answered, "it sounds fine to me, but I think Miss Asahina might have an objection."

She added, "I don't think I'm really up for acting."

"I have lots of other suggestions," Koizumi casually stated.

"Hold on a sec," I said. "I like the idea. Only, how about this? We do a movie instead of a play."

"A movie?" he asked.

I then continued, "Since Miss Asahina has demonstrated a grasp of the fine arts of communication, I nominate her as the director. What do you think?"

"I think it's marvelous," he answered.

"Director?" Asahina asked me. "Are you sure?"

"Of course," I replied. "You're perfect for the job, and maybe you can convince your friend to run the cameras."

"Okay," she said. "As long as I don't have to do any acting."

I softly added, "We're going to have to get her a bullhorn, though."

"Who's going to write the movie?" she asked.

"What do you think?"

"You think you could handle it, Kyon?"

"I guess. I mean, you don't mind working on a sci-fi comedy, do you?"

"It's okay with me, but who could we get to act?"

"Yeah, that's going to be a bit of a problem. I think I may have to bug the drama club."

The drama club was undoubtedly going to be busy with their own production, so I had my reservations about that idea. Still, there was bound to be a few actors they could spare for a few smaller parts.

Koizumi then stated, "I don't mind performing, and I think I could find a few more people."

"Since this was my idea," I added, "I guess I should fill one of the parts, myself. I don't know anyone who has any acting skill, though."

He then asked, "Can we really do this, though? Wow. A movie."

"I don't see why not," I answered. "It's still five more months till we need to get ready for the culture festival. If we set aside one month for rehearsing and two months for production, that still leaves me a couple months to come up with a script. I don't think it'll take more than three weeks, though."

"Three weeks?" he asked.

I explained, "One week to brainstorm. One week to work on dialogue, and one more week to panic and rewrite everything from scratch."

"You've done this kind of thing before?"

"I have been writing for fun for a couple years, now."

"Okay. I'll leave that to you. You let me handle casting. How many do you think you'll need?"

"Five. I don't really care whether we have girls, but I'd like to throw in some romance. Or at least some hints at romance."

I then had an unsettling thought that it might be asking a bit much to ask Asahina to direct a sci-fi comedy with shades of romance. I made a mental note to ask her about all that privately, later. She later informed me that she was okay with it.

"Okay," Koizumi said, "so we already have two. That just leaves three."

"You have three," Nagato injected.

"Three?" Koizumi asked her.

I understood immediately that she'd meant that she wanted to participate, but that seemed out of the question, at first. I then realized that she would make the perfect person to play the part of the android, and then I had the awkward realization that I'd patterned that character after her, to a certain extent.

Koizumi then asked her, "Miss Nagato, are you volunteering?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Okay," he said. "That just leaves two."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" I asked her, thinking that Nagato wasn't exactly the outgoing type. I didn't want her to be uncomfortable.

"I can handle it," she said, very firmly.

I then wondered if she knew what type of part I was casting her for, but that just seemed ridiculous. I then thought that she was simply showing faith in my ability, but that seemed even more ridiculous. I thought that maybe Nagato has this strange hidden talent for emoting that I have yet to witness. It seemed to me like she was urging me to think this way, but I couldn't picture her like that at all.

"Two of the parts will be supporting roles, right?" Koizumi asked.

"Right," I replied. "I guess I can write most of the lines for the two of us."

"Go ahead and write a good part for a female lead," he added.

"You already have someone in mind?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered. "I think so."


	27. Temporalia

- Chapter 2: Temporalia

The next morning, I found the biggest cliche in the history of romantic comedy: a note in my shoe locker. This was a literary device that I would never use as a matter of principle, so I had to stop and convince myself for a moment that I actually did have a note in my locker, and that I hadn't imagined it. Anyone observing my reaction might have thought that I was surprised more because I simply never expected to find a note in my locker, and probably not for the same reasons I was thinking.

The note had been written in the kind of casual scrawl you would naturally expect from any random student, though it seemed to clearly be from one of the girls. And since it hadn't been signed, I just assumed it could be anyone. My first impression was that this was some weird prelude to a confession, but then I realized that the tone of the note suggested a much more casual encounter. It simply mentioned that the author of the note would be in the room after class, with the implication being that I should meet them. When class had ended, I simply remained at my desk, thinking up some ideas for this movie I was working on.

As much as I liked the idea of hinting at romance, I found myself at a loss to express it. I'm not particularly proud of my track record of zero successes and no special fondness for anyone outside of my own family. It occurred to me that I could consult with Suzumiya for advice in the matter, but that seemed like a bad avenue to explore. Suzumiya had shown a shocking lack of self-awareness (which had obviously sprung from her inability to view others as anything more special than a sack of potatoes). I decided to put that aspect of the story away for the time being, and focus on the sci-fi and comedy. Suzumiya would undoubtedly prove to be valuable for that aspect.

I liked the idea of a kind of bluebird of anti-happiness, and that seemed to me like a good way to pay homage to a classic while at the same time delivering on a theme I knew would work (because someone far more courageous than me had already used it successfully). I also liked the idea of juxtaposing this parody with some absurdism involving a supervillain planning to take over the world. This would provide ample opportunities for situational irony, and lots of little inside jokes. The conflict would mainly involve the villain perpetrating a number of harmless crimes while avoiding the law. I could also throw in a subplot about certain bits of misinformation or miscommunication, though I wasn't sure what devices I'd use to deliver that conflict.

Before I had quite realized it, I had almost finished an outline that looked like a director's worst nightmare. I had weaved together three different plots where I had only intended originally to have two (that I would simply intercut between). I had about fifty different locations indicated, though I had originally intended to have less than ten. I didn't just have references to students in a school, but I also had numerous references to the media, politicians, and police officers. For a moment, I stepped away from it in my mind. I mentally shrugged and continued piling on more story elements. If there's one thing I know about comedy, it's that you can never have too many different themes. You can then eventually settle on the two or three themes that will actually work out for you.

"Oh!" came a soft voice. "You're here already?"

"Yeah," I answered. "I'd rather not show up at club right at the moment."

As Asakura approached me, I sensed in her manner that she seemed very unsure of herself, and I immediately deduced that she was looking for some kind of encouragement from me. That explained the note in my locker, although why she'd needed so much time to prepare was a bit of a mystery.

"Something the matter?" she asked me.

I answered, "I'm still not sure what to do with this script I'm working on."

"Script?" she asked.

I sighed and berated myself. I really shouldn't foist my problems onto other people just to break the ice in a conversation. "It's a long story," I answered. "So, what did you want? You're the one who left me that note, right?"

"That's right," she replied.

"Okay," I said.

She continued, "I was hoping I could ask you something in the way of advice, if it's not too forward of me."

"No, that's okay," I said. "What is it?"

She took a deep breath and then asked me, "If you were in a relationship with someone, and it started to get physical, that would have to mean something pretty outrageous, right?"

"I suppose so," I answered. "Yeah."

"You suppose so?" she asked. "What if all you did was just kiss that person?"

This didn't sound like an invitation. This sounded to me like a serious concern, and I immediately got the impression that she was depressed over a recent relationship of her own. I found it hard to imagine, but then it seemed that Kunikida was right. She did seem very nice, and it's not hard to imagine someone wanting to be in a relationship with her.

"I think it'd have to be pretty far along," I answered in my kindest tone of voice, "is what I mean. Any particular reason you're asking me?"

"Just curious," she explained, sounding a little disappointed. "I just feel that we shouldn't live our lives like we're immortal."

"I agree," I said.

"You do?" she asked, sounding very surprised. "Oh, then you'll understand."

"Understand what?" I prompted.

She answered, "I'd like to help you out with whatever it is that you're writing."

"Why would you do that?" I asked, then guessed, "Oh, because of carpe diem and all that."

"That's right," she said.

This seemed a little odd, but I had the impression that she knew a lot more about me than could possibly be healthy for her. I dismissed that thought and entertained a notion of simply humoring her until I could discover the heart of the problem.

"Not to sound ungrateful," I said, "but you really think helping me is something worthwhile?"

"Why not?" she asked very casually. "You have some special reason I shouldn't?"

"No," I said, trying to match her casualness. "Actually, you do have quite an imagination, from what I hear."

"I do?" she asked, sounding surprised again.

"You told Kunikida that he was a photographer."

"Did I say that out loud? I'm sorry."

"You want to come by the club room?"

"Actually, I'd prefer if we spoke somewhere a little more private."

- x -

For all her dreariness and her jaded outlook, Asakura was still impressively expressive and charming. The thought of her enthusiasm being buried under some weary memories like a diamond buried in a pile of garbage was truly depressing, and it seemed like an obligation to me that I should help her find her way out of that. She came with me to the library, where I often found some solace, and I spread out before her my notes, showing her also my half-finished story. The story cheered her up in a dramatic way, but these notes only brought back her gloom again.

"It's too complicated," she complained.

"I know," I said.

"How long were you shooting for?" she asked.

"About a half hour," I said. "Maybe forty-five minutes, at the most."

It's a little startling to me now that I was aiming anywhere near that mark. Anything beyond fifteen minutes in that time frame I was aiming at was truly work, and I didn't want that.

She added, "You'll be lucky if you can get this cut down to three hours."

"It's just an outline," I explained. "I always overshoot on that part."

"So, you'll use maybe half?" she asked.

"I don't know," I answered. "I was thinking I could do two-thirds, but I don't see how."

"Plus, these scenes aren't very practical," she added.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She replied, "You'll have extras all over the place. You see this scene where the heroine introduces herself? You'll need at least six or seven extras just for that. You think people in the drama club will just volunteer for that?"

"I had a chat with the drama club's faculty advisor," I answered.

"Oh?" she asked.

I added, "Anything I can get down into a two-week schedule with no more than an hour a day should be fine. I just have to make sure the events are catered."

"For an hour-long shoot?"

"Just snacks and stuff like that."

"Oh, okay. So, no problem on that front."

"It's just the locations that are a problem. I'm restricted to the school, so I'll need to get some sets done up."

"It's a good thing you're planning this months in advance."

"Tell me about it."

The many technical hurdles made me wonder whether I could handle it all and perform a major role in it. It seemed like an awful lot of work, but I hadn't intended to shoot it all. Things were still in the early stages, but Asakura was already thinking about production issues. Well, no sense in putting it off. There were going to be issues like this once production rolled around, so I may as well start learning how to cope with them in preparation for the real thing.

"So," she said, "you'll need to trim down your scenes with extras to ten."

"Ten?" I asked, thinking that was a little low.

She explained, "You have a two-week window, right? Forget about Saturday or Sunday. You should just focus on one scene per day. If you can get one usable minute of footage after an hour, you're doing really good."

I had been hoping I could do thirty to thirty-five scenes, but then I realized that it wouldn't be necessary to have extras in every scene. Much as I like the thought of a lot of hectic movement in my scenes, that would add a lot of work for direction and continuity. Asahina wouldn't chafe at the thought, but it would also mean a lot of work for a producer, and I hadn't yet found a producer.

"Makes sense," I admitted.

Asakura lightly scolded me, "I shouldn't even have to tell you this."

I chuckled and remarked, "I should give you a producer credit."

"You're darn right you will," she casually added.

I thought for a moment and said, "The technical problems are the worst, though. And what'll we do if it rains?"

"You'll figure it out," she answered, "but I think the biggest problem is this premise."

"It's too much?" I asked.

"It's too ambitious," she replied. "If you ask me, I'd say toss it out and try something else. Or at least jump into the middle of the story and cover some of the earlier material with brief flashbacks."

"I don't want flashbacks," I complained. "Too much editing involved."

"Even in this climax?" she asked, and I realized that I had worked out a climax. I had totally forgotten about that.

I then said, "I guess one big montage at the end is okay, but I see what you mean. Each part of a montage is a scene."

"That's right."

"Is it too much to hope that Miss Asahina is an editing wiz?"

Asakura then gave me a look like I had had a little too much to drink.

"Right," I said, answering her look. Giving Asahina this much was liable to burn her out as it was. I really should have been thinking about lightening the load.

"Have you got the casting finished?" Asakura asked.

I replied, "Koizumi said he has my heroine, but I wonder about that. Say, you have any acting ability?"

"You want me in your movie?" she asked.

"The camera would love you," I said, very sincerely.

She complained, "I don't want to be the star of some high school movie."

"You could be the android's assistant," I said. That role was definitely not the star, though it was important.

"You really like that idea?" she asked.

"You have something better?" I wondered.

"How about this?" she suggested. "The villain learns about the android and falls for her. It's much more convenient, and we learn more about this weird school."

"You don't like the heroine defeating the villain in the end?"

"It's too formulaic. You may as well have the heroine fall for the villain in the end."

I hadn't expected Asakura to be this hip to story production. Even chafing at formula was something I expected from an artistically gifted director, not from an ordinary classmate. Then again, Asakura was anything but ordinary. I was just starting to realize that.

I explained, "It's a formula because it works so well. The villain wouldn't be much of a villain if he gets sidetracked like that."

"How about I play the villain?" she offered, and I detected that she was only about halfway serious.

The thought was hilarious, though. I laughed heartily and asked her, "Who would believe that you were the villain? That's just crazy."

She sighed and said, "Right. Never mind."

- x -

Ryoko Asakura turned out to be a refreshing person to speak to, far more than I had imagined. After hashing out a lot of the troublesome issues of my story, I had found that a couple hours had passed, and my mother was doubtlessly wondering where I had wandered off to.

Many of the elements of the story had yet to be settled, though. I still lacked some good romance, and there was still a second half to write. After my meeting with Asakura, however, I was resolved to work on simplifying the story. I had plenty enough to work with for getting some cheap laughs. Now, I just needed a story I wouldn't regret telling the world.

The next morning, Suzumiya spoke to me in a rather grumpy mood, determined to rain on my parade.

"Hey," she said. "What's the big idea?"

"What?" I asked, not aware that I had done anything to be ashamed of.

She complained, "You didn't show up for club yesterday."

"Yeah, so?" I prompted.

"What's so important that you'd miss club?" she demanded.

"Not that it's any of your business," I answered, "but I had a meeting with a fellow student."

"A fellow student, huh?" she remarked.

I asked her, "Why do you care? Are you joining the literature club?"

"No," she replied. "Maybe. I don't know."

"Oh," I said, "so you're the one..."

"The one what?" she asked.

I replied, "Koizumi wants you to play the role of the heroine in our movie?"

"That's right," she answered.

How Koizumi had found her, I had no idea. I only knew he had transferred, recently. That left me with a mystery, but it occurred to me that Suzumiya had probably interrogated him. She does get around quite a bit between classes and during lunch.

"Okay," I said, piecing things together in my mind.

"And you have the script?" she asked.

"Not yet," I answered. "I'm still working out the story."

"You have a problem with me being the heroine?" she then asked.

"No," I answered. "Actually, it fits pretty well." Perfectly, in fact.

She then remarked, "I was also told that you were going to be playing a part."

"That's right," I replied.

"Which one?"

"The villain."

As she mused on all that, I seriously began to try picturing her as the heroine. There was something amiss, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"What?" I asked her.

"You have any acting experience?" she asked.

"I do, actually," I answered. "I've been in school plays, before."

"When?" she asked.

I replied, "It was elementary school, but that counts."

"Hmm..."

"You have acting experience?"

"Sure. Well... No, actually."

"You want lessons?"

"I don't need them. I'll be fine."

"Right."

I made a mental note to look for an alternate for the role, just in case. I didn't really need to worry, though. If anything, I should have been more worried about her stealing scenes.

- x -

Later that day, I found myself putting off thinking about the script. This was another familiar pattern I had encountered from myself over the past couple years. I'd start a script and get about halfway through it, then suddenly find a lot of other things that needed attention, first. Writing would always get done in bursts of inspiration, but never before convincing myself to stop doing ten other things I would prefer to do.

For example, I had been meaning to play one of the games I'd brought in to the club, and Asahina had already gotten started on it, so there was really no way I could resist playing it with her. Miss Nagato was reading, as usual. Several minutes went by in this pleasant way until Koizumi entered, shortly followed by Suzumiya.

"Hey!" she said.

"Hi guys," he greeted us.

I immediately asked him, "You get me an android's assistant, yet?"

"I'm afraid not," he answered. "Sorry."

"Well," I told him, "that's okay."

"You're writing her out of the story?" he asked.

"I think I may have an understudy ready," I answered.

"Are you guys still on that movie?" Suzumiya asked.

"Not at the moment," Koizumi replied, "no."

"That's good," she said, "considering there isn't even a script."

"You have something else in mind?" I asked her.

"Of course," she said, beaming a worrisome smile back at me. "I've decided what this club needs. A computer!"

"No thanks," I said. "I already have one."

She scowled and said, "I don't mean that toy you have, Kyon. I mean, a real computer! Nowadays, it's all about the internet. If you don't have an internet presence, you can't accomplish anything!"

I smoothly remarked, "I already created a web site, thanks."

Very few computers get more "real" than a nice server, although I had settled for a shared account (which was still overkill for my purposes). The host was a local company, so if anything went wrong, I could just bike over to their offices and ask what the problem was.

"And before you ask," I added, "I leased it through a reputable service. They came highly recommended."

"Really?" she asked.

"This is a literature club," I explained, "so I went ahead and posted some titles for suggested reading material. I'm also keeping a blog with notes about this movie we're working on. You should create your account and start writing your own entries."

Asahina added, "I've already posted my first article."

"But what about the club?" Suzumiya asked.

I informed her, "We can just borrow a laptop from the computer club. I've already arranged for it."

"Well," Koizumi softly commented, "that certainly is convenient."

"What about email?" Suzumiya asked.

"That's part of the package," I answered. "I didn't think we'd need it, but we have email capability."

"How many accounts?" she asked.

"I think it's all unlimited," I said, not completely sure, though.

"Isn't that expensive?" she then asked.

"No," I replied. Not unless she was hoping for a free web site, of course. In retrospect, she probably was hoping to do everything for free.

"Okay..." she said. "What we need is more members!"

"We have five, right?" I observed.

"Yeah," she answered.

I then casually stated, "So, we have plenty of members already."

"We could always use a few more, right?" she asked.

I answered, "I don't know about that. I would have preferred a smaller group, but the student council said that we really should have at least five. We could probably get by with three or four, though."

Suzumiya then asked, "Koizumi, don't you think we should have a few more?"

"I'm inclined to agree," he replied. "However, this is a literature club. How many more students do you think we can get?"

"Well, there's the problem!" she declared.

"What?" I asked.

"This shouldn't be a literature club!" she enthusiastically replied.

"It shouldn't?" I asked.

I had a sinking feeling as I realized that Suzumiya was one of those people. You know. The type who just have to be the center of attention and get everything their own way in spite of not really wanting attention and not being all that competent, themselves. If that was the price for having her as the heroine, I considered if I should just abandon my movie project and rejoin the "go home" club.

"I'm sorry," I said, "but I only joined because I thought I could get some writing done. If you want to start your own club, that's fine. You go ahead and do that, but don't start messing around with other people's clubs."

"I agree," Asahina immediately said, apparently threatening to walk out with me.

Suzumiya frowned, and asked Nagato, "Yuki, what do you think?"

"I don't care," she quickly replied.

Suzumiya then asked, "Koizumi, you agree with me, right?"

He paused in thought for a few moments, and then finally said, "Okay... A few days ago, I may have agreed with you, but I'm really looking forward to this movie that Kyon's working on. I'd like for us to work together on that. Don't you think it would be interesting?"

It bothered me a little that he'd had to think about that, but it was gratifying to see him defend my project. I had put in a lot of time and effort, and there would be a lot of people I'd have to apologize to if we backed out at this stage.

Koizumi hastily added, "There's still plenty of time for other activities, if you wanted. We could call it a brainstorming session and file it under the category of a Literature Club activity."

Suzumiya then predictably said, "I don't want to intrude on your activities."

"It's no problem," he assured her.

I then asked him, "Koizumi, didn't you say the other day that you had a lot of activities in mind?"

"I did?" he asked.

"Yes, you did," Asahina softly confirmed.

"Oh, right," he answered. "Well, if I may offer another suggestion..."

"Go right ahead," Suzumiya said.

He then said, "I rather like the idea of promoting this club, and it could do us some good to get out and get some fresh air."

"What did you have in mind?" I asked.

He answered, "I was thinking that we could get together on Saturday morning and have a meeting."

"We could hand out flyers," Suzumiya added.

"How about we meet at noon?" I suggested

"What's wrong with morning?" she asked.

I replied, "Some of us might prefer a nice, quiet morning."

She then stated, "You mean, you want to sleep in."

"If we're promoting the group," I added, "it could take a while. A good breakfast is essential."

"It doesn't take me all morning to eat breakfast," she complained.

"Do you even eat breakfast?" I wondered.

"I don't exactly have the time, everyday."

"Hold on a sec. Do you even eat lunch? Do you eat at all?"

I then wondered for a moment whether Suzumiya wasn't really the better android in this group. I couldn't recall ever having seen her eat, and she did have an incredible amount of energy, in spite of that.

"Should we meet up at the school?" Koizumi asked.

"No way," Suzumiya immediately answered.

- x -

Having narrowly avoided a club coup, I suspected that Suzumiya would have some other ideas for the club. I wasn't sure she would, but she soon arranged for an outside meeting with me at a coffee shop near the train station. The station was convenient for her, since she had to commute everyday to school, and she was already on a first-name basis with the owner of the establishment.

When I arrived, I went inside and spotted her sitting at a table, and I went to go greet her.

"You're late," she complained.

"For what?" I asked.

"I said to be here in ten minutes," she answered. "I've been waiting for five."

"What do you want?" I asked, a little annoyed that she was treating me like a servant.

"We need to talk," she replied. "Have a seat."

"Okay," I said, sitting across from her. I had a feeling from her tone that she had something on her mind that was a little more serious than just club business.

"Are you really serious about that movie?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "You have a better idea?"

She casually said, "It just seems like you're making a big deal out of it."

"It is a big deal," I told her. "Shooting a movie isn't like running a coffee shop. It takes a lot of time and preparation."

"I guess I never thought about it," she admitted.

"How else do you think movies get shot?" I asked.

"You can't just buy a camera and shoot one?" she guessed.

"No way," I answered, a little appalled by the thought. "That's way too expensive."

"So, where do you get all your equipment?" she asked.

I replied, "You rent it, normally. Actually, I'm going to be borrowing a couple cameras from the media club."

"And they don't mind?" she asked.

"I already arranged for it. We won't need them until September."

"Jeez."

"You have a camera?"

"No."

Typical Suzumiya. Unless it's all laid out for her, she really has no clue how anything works. I have to admit that I didn't know anything about movies before starting on this project, but at least my guesswork was a bit more reasonable, and I did a little research into the subject over the past week.

I then remembered, "Someone told me you had one back in middle school."

"Huh?" she said, then explained, "Oh... I borrowed it."

"Okay..." I said, thinking that her definition of "borrow" was a bit different from mine. "I won't ask."

Suzumiya had been acting a little weird, lately, and I realized that it was probably because of Koizumi. There's something about him that makes her act a little more childish and demanding than she normally would whenever I'm just sitting near her in class. Sitting with her in this coffee shop persuaded me a little more of this opinion. In spite of being more gloomy than usual and having something on her mind, it was taking some effort for her to reach that point in our conversation.

Finally, she said, "Let me ask you something."

"Go ahead," I said.

She asked, "Did Mikuru tell you anything about herself? Anything that sounded really out of the ordinary?"

"What are you expecting?" I asked. "Oh, you think she's an alien?"

"I think she's a time traveler," she said. "Don't ask me how I know."

"Okay," I said. "I won't."

Suzumiya then had another sour look on her face for a moment and asked, "You wouldn't try anything with her, would you?"

"Like what?" I asked.

"Like go back in time?" she asked, completely serious again.

I wasn't sure I'd heard right, so I asked, "You're serious?"

"You wouldn't play some cruel trick on me, would you?" she asked.

I considered it for a moment, but I think I'd have to be psychotic to do what she was suggesting. "I hardly know you," I answered. "I haven't played a prank on anyone since I was ten, and that was on a guy I knew personally."

"Sorry," she said. "This must sound really weird."

"Where is all this coming from?" I asked, hoping for some detail.

"Look," she answered, "I'm going to be completely honest with you, so don't laugh."

"Okay," I said.

"You've heard about that incident in middle school when I wrote an alien message in chalk?"

"You weren't summoning a demon?"

"No. See, I was trying to communicate with aliens, but then you showed up with Mikuru. I didn't recognize you at first because it was so dark."

"Oh, I see."

This explained why she was so irritated. She hadn't been sure of herself, and finding some certainty had been difficult.

She continued, "And I didn't want to believe it because the idea of you or Mikuru being a time traveler was just too weird. I didn't recognize you, at first. But then, when I saw her, I realized it was the truth."

"Funny," I said.

"What?" she asked.

"I don't remember any of that," I answered.

She insisted, "It's true, I'm telling you."

"Okay," I said, quickly deducing the situation, "so this is something I do in the future?"

"Maybe," she replied. "But if it is true, I don't want to get left out."

"You want to go time traveling with us?" I asked. I didn't think that was the real problem. The real problem was that time travel could happen in the first place, right? Then again, this is Suzumiya I'm talking about.

"That's right," she answered.

"Why do you want to do that?" I asked.

"Because that would be more interesting, of course!" she answered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

I then thought for a moment and asked, "You really don't care if you do meet aliens, sliders, or espers, do you?"

"I do," she answered, "but I don't want to get left out of anything."

"You sure you didn't just dream it?" I asked.

"I'm positive," she answered.

I then asked, "You realize that I could change the past because of what you're telling me?"

"Yeah," she said.

I continued, "And that would, in turn, change whether I even meet you in the first place."

"Yeah," she said. "And?"

I sighed and muttered, "I don't suppose the thought of a paradox bothers you."

"Why should it?" she asked. "Wouldn't that be even more interesting?"

I laughed and then said, "I'm sorry."

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"It's just," I explained, "this is such a perfect twist. I can't help but like it."

"What?" she asked, a little disgusted. Then she asked, "Oh, this is going to end up in the movie, huh?"

I admitted, "I already have the heroine saying that she's looking for aliens, sliders, and espers. I can't just leave the audience hanging, now can I?"

"You really like living dangerously, don't you?" she asked.

"It beats being bored, right?"

"You have a point."

- x -

The next day, I had an encounter with a spunky girl by the name of Tsuruya. I'd been wondering what she was like, since Asahina had mentioned her from time to time, and I had asked about photography (which she was allegedly into). She spent the whole time talking about the kind of movies she likes, and she kept giving me ideas for twists I could use for my story. It was all very amusing, and I have to admit that Tsuruya is a very nice girl, but she is a little obnoxious when it comes to the subject of story creation. I'd hate to read one of her scripts. She could probably write a thousand page epic.

She did eventually get around to telling me about a rendezvous that Asahina wanted: a relaxing get-together at the park. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to pick her brain and to sort out what she wanted to do as the director of the movie. I also resolved to write the romance in a way that would smoothly blend with this story. The last thing I wanted was to be accused of depicting characters with some weird affectations or interactions that people would find a little too unrealistic. As a good rule of thumb, I decided that a sappy confession would be the worst thing I could do, and then puzzled how I could get around that.

I had found a park bench to sit at while I mused this, and I was just starting to enjoy the scenery when Asahina showed up. I was a little annoyed at first, but then seeing her smiling face cheered me up again.

"Hello."

"Hello."

As usual, Asahina always has this somewhat awkward way of presenting herself, though I have no trouble understanding her. It gives her an exotic feel, and I admit I liked to imagine her as a time traveler, even back when I knew nothing about it.

"Lovely day, huh?" I mentioned.

"Yeah," she said, sitting beside me. "And I don't even have a nervous condition."

"That's good to know," I said, wondering what that meant.

"Sorry," she said. "I guess you wouldn't recognize that."

"Something I say in the future?" I asked, only half serious.

"Excuse me?" she softly prodded.

"It's nothing," I answered.

Asahina is so sweet and childlike, that I don't think I could get upset with her even if she kicked me. And I have a hard time trying to picture her that upset. Once again, I affirmed my choice of director. She was truly the best choice for this job. I don't think anyone would hesitate to do whatever she said, even Suzumiya. The real problem would be making sure that she doesn't work too hard.

I then casually explained, "Miss Suzumiya thinks you're a time traveler."

"Oh..." she said, pausing for a few moments. "Well, maybe we should humor her."

I laughed and said, "Good idea. I'd hate to waste an opportunity this good."

"You like to play pranks on people?" she asked.

"I'm not above a good prank if it's funny."

"I could never do that."

Then why did she suggest...? I thought. I then dismissed that and went back to puzzling on her exotic way of speaking. She did a good job of disguising it with her shyness and her soft tone of voice, but it was pretty obvious that she had a little difficulty with certain idioms and such.

She smoothly continued, "Especially on someone like Miss Suzumiya."

"You're not actually a time traveler, are you?" I asked.

"What do you think?" she asked.

I seriously considered it for a moment, then scoffed, "Yeah, right."

"I do have a confession to make," she said.

"What is it?"

"I like you a lot."

"Oh...?"

"Yeah. Well, I'll see you later."


	28. A Dream Within a Dream

- Chapter 3: A Dream Within a Dream

The time then went by like in a story, and it would probably be fair to say that I had several reactions to this event. Mostly, I think, I suffered from a lingering forgetfulness. Edgar Allan Poe once said, "If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered." I sometimes marvel that the accumulation of information preserved with that distinctness would make it ironically easier to neglect, but then this just serves to remind me that I am a machine. When it comes right down to it, like any other machine, I have limitations, and those limitations dictate what I can do. No surprise then, that I started to exhibit a machine-like rusty and grinding slowness. At this rate, I might fall apart, but then Asakura had been looking after me, as if possessed of a prescience to everything that was to befall me.

Of all the strange feelings that I encountered over the next couple weeks, nothing struck me more odd than the feeling of rage that I began to feel tickling the back of my mind. I'm not sure how to describe it aside from a mysterious desire to be capable of shooting flames from my eyes and growing claws from my fingers. I don't think there was any particular target of this emotion, though it definitely began from the time of that confession Asahina had given me. I couldn't intellectualize it except as the notion that there was something or someone between me and her. It was far too powerful to call it jealousy, and it was too all-consuming for me to merely term it possessiveness. I couldn't call it anything but obsession, bordering on insanity.

That all may sound rather melodramatic, but those few words are my "Heart Laid Bare," so nothing I could compose could be more melodramatic than that. I reeled at the idea of becoming so melodramatic a creature, and it was many years before I could express such a thing, but it was definitely there. Even so, I found that I had misunderstood the idea of romance to such a degree that I may as well have been blind to its existence. My impression of romance was that it was always a sweet and wonderful thing, only comprised of good feelings. The rage that had started to consume my soul was therefore a terrible surprise. It was useful to me in that I had just been wondering how exactly I would make this part of the story work, but it really galled me that I would have to confess myself to convince my audience.

It was liberating, though. In a way, I began to understand how Suzumiya could object to my premise, and it seemed as though she was still not only reading my mind, but changing my world around in response to my notions. I could easily imagine her using her witchcraft to try and drive away my sanity, especially with that talk of Asahina being a time traveler. I'm not an idiot. Okay? If Asahina is really a time traveler, which she probably is, then there would be a strong incentive for her to return to her own time. I can't afford to be oblivious to that, but my emotions were starting to do just that. I couldn't help myself, and not just because she was so perfect in mind and body. I strongly felt like she needed me, and that basically decided the matter.

Even so, I needed some support of my own. My writing was starting to suffer, and I found myself at the library a lot, trying out a lot of different approaches to ending my story. Nothing seemed to be working, though. It just seemed to me like there was a looming deadline, and I was going to disappoint everyone who was waiting for me. The world can seem like a hostile place when you view it that way, and nothing makes it harder to visualize romance or comedy than viewing the world as hostile. Right as I was about to surrender to my frustration, I noticed Asakura appear.

"Hello, again," she said in her characteristically charming way.

"Hey," I said.

"You wanted to see me?" she asked, as if I had asked for her.

I then decided and said, "I finished the script." I took out the printout I had done earlier, and placed it on the table. Asakura then took the script and began skimming it.

"So, you want me in your movie?" she asked.

"You don't mind?" I asked.

"It'll make a nice change," she admitted.

"That's good," I said. "I'd like for you to read it over and tell me what you think."

"Is this a rough draft?" she asked.

I replied, "This is my first go at it, yeah."

"Okay," she said, taking my printouts. "Thanks a lot."

"Don't mention it," I said.

Now that it was being read, I felt a sense of relief. As much as I might fret over every little detail, and as far as I was from being finished, I was much closer to an ending than before.

- x -

And now that I had committed to a particular storyline, I suddenly found myself with no end of ideas for how I could really end my story properly. The villain might not discover this romantic potential until the end, when it would doom him to be fighting with the heroine indefinitely or he might just find that his former friends had turned against him because of the romance rather than any daring attempts to conquer the world. The villain might actually battle with the esper rather than the heroine or the villain might prefer a more humble goal than world conquest. The villain might just be setting out to prove a point about the world or to discover some hidden secret buried within the esper's past. The villain might even hand himself over to authorities if things played themselves out in a more interesting way.

I went to the park that evening to meet up with Asakura and was surprised to find Nagato waiting for me.

"Miss Nagato?" I asked. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes," she answered.

"What's this about?" I asked.

"We need to talk," she replied.

"Okay," I said.

She then said, "Let's go to my apartment."

- x -

Yuki Nagato is a very odd one. I know a lot of strange things about her, but even now she seems stranger than she ought to be. For example, her apartment is not specially adorned. She seems content with bare walls and a minimum of furniture. I sat across from her at her table, uneasy. The room seemed smaller and less inviting than it had a right to feel, and not even an offer of tea could fix that.

"Explain this," she said, putting my script onto the table.

"It's dialogue for the movie," I answered, suddenly feeling as though I were being interrogated by the police.

"How much do you know about Mikuru Asahina?" she then asked.

"She seems nice," I admitted.

"That is not how you seem to depict her," Nagato remarked.

"Is she in the script?" I asked, not comfortable with the notion of confusing fictional characters with real people.

She then inquired, "You made the android's assistant character into a slider, is that correct?"

"Right," I replied.

"And she is also from the future?"

"Yeah, I just came up with that a few days ago."

"Has she spoken to you as this character does with the villain?"

"She made some kind of confession, if that's what you're asking."

I wonder if Nagato realized the hornet's nest she was striking at with this line of questioning. She seemed on edge and a little anxious to probe the details of this situation a little better, but I also sensed that she could perceive the anger I was starting to feel that she would think to question what had happened.

I asked, "Are you worried that people will figure it out?"

She added, "You should realize that she is actually a time traveler."

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Have you shown this to Mikuru Asahina?" she then asked.

"Not yet," I answered, not looking forward to that.

"There is a high likelihood that she will object," Nagato added.

"I know," I said.

She then stated in her usual monotone, "I do not mean that she will object to having her private communications made known. I mean that she will object to directing this story."

"Why?" I asked.

She answered, "Because she will understand that this ending will actually occur, if she were to attempt to direct this."

So, I would actually be vaporized by my own prototype death ray? What on Earth?

"I should explain myself," she said.

"Please," I prompted her.

She explained, "I am a humanoid data interface or what you might term an alien. We have been observing Haruhi Suzumiya for three years. She has the ability to manipulate absolute data at will, however subconsciously."

"No way."

"Way."

"So, I'll actually confront Suzumiya, be thwarted by Koizumi, and then defeated by Asahina? Why would all that happen?"

"Because this script will subconsciously become reality to Haruhi Suzumiya, in particular because she has decided to use method acting. Her belief in this data will alter the actual data stream. To a certain extent, this has already begun to happen."

To put it simply, if life was like a massive role playing game, Suzumiya would be like the one character with direct access to the dungeon master or whatever. That's just messed up. Okay, first of all, I want to know who decided that this RPG should work this way. Secondly, why don't we have any save points, and why is the difficulty level apparently stuck on Nightmare? I cleared my mind and thought about this a little more sensibly.

To put it a bit more simply, Nagato was crazy. She didn't just profess a belief in aliens, she didn't just profess to be an alien, she described herself in ways that made it clear that she truly believed that she was an alien. On top of that, she had this weird idea that Suzumiya was a being with some kind of special powers or something. It was pathetic, but I didn't think Nagato could be cured in time for the first read through, and I really wanted her to play the part of the android. She was just too perfect for it. I decided to just humor her until this whole mess with the movie was over.

"Okay," I said, "so I should rewrite the ending?"

"If you must complete it," she added.

"Yeah," I agreed, "that would be another option. I could also tell Miss Suzumiya all about what you just told me."

"She does not take your input seriously," Nagato answered to that.

Nagato didn't sound too convincing when she said that, and I immediately realized that she was lying to me. She was desperate to stop me from revealing what she had told me about Suzumiya, and she truly believed that there would be dire consequences if I did. If what she said were true, I have no trouble believing in the part about dire consequences, so I decided to just leave that alone. There would be no harm in not telling Suzumiya any of this. In fact, I didn't want her to know. It was just too weird.

Nagato added, "Given the genre of this story, you should not have any serious objections."

"I can't argue with that," I admitted, "even if I do think you're a little crazy."

"Trust me," she said.

"Okay," I answered. "How would you end this story?"

"You could do as Ryoko Asakura suggested," she answered.

"Oh..." I said. "Make the villain fall for the android."

"I would have no objection to that ending," she admitted.

"Right..." I said, starting to get some strange ideas about this whole conversation.

She then promptly added, "Alternatively, you could make the android's assistant the villain."

"Wouldn't Miss Asahina object to that, as well?" I asked.

"You could write her as a sympathetic villain," Nagato answered.

"Which way do you want me to write it?" I asked.

She paused for a moment, then answered, "I would prefer the android to be the villain."

"Everybody loves to play the villain, huh?"

"Does the romance need to be resolved?"

"No, actually. I was just thinking that it's a little weird, as it is."

"I see."

The romance in the story was just like what I was experiencing in real life. Everything was weird and fuzzy and up in the air. I didn't know what to make of it all.

I then stated, "I hate dragging that kind of thing out, but it would be funnier if I could put in another twist."

"Please let me know, in any case," Nagato told me.

"Okay," I answered. "Is there anything weird I should know about Koizumi?"

"Aside from his esper powers?" she asked.

"Serves me right for asking," I muttered.

She assured me, "His powers existed before you wrote about them, if that is what you wish to know."

"Okay," I said, adding another item on the list of insane things I'd been told, lately.

- x -

With my mind in turmoil, there was a serious question of what to do with the story, and I honestly don't remember everything I was thinking of doing with it. The setup was pretty clear: a boy and a girl who have their crazy ambitions, accompanied by three others who have crazy powers. The girl doesn't attempt to hide anything about it because she's terrified of living a normal life, but the boy pretends to be completely normal because he's terrified of being discovered. How they conflict and interact and everything gets resolved, however, was completely up in the air. I was leaning toward something romantic in the middle. Specifically, I was inspired to write about a confession that leads into various pranks involving the esper, and that would serve to reveal the esper for what he was. Against that idea was the notion of the android revealing herself to the villain and showing him the power of mind control. He would then use this device to entangle the esper in an affair with the android's assistant, and the assistant would eventually reveal that she was a time traveler, breaking the mind control spell somehow. The first idea seemed like a better one, but it was more difficult for me to visualize.

I liked the idea of a mind control device, because I could suddenly relate to that concept in a very concrete way (thanks to Nagato's crazy warnings about Suzumiya) though it did mean sacrificing some of my artistic integrity. The idea involving pranks and such didn't seem too terribly clear, though. I really wanted everything to be out in the open, but it seemed to me that I was grasping for something that wasn't quite there, just yet. I knew that something about the premise would have to change, and it almost had to be who the villain was.

In class, the next morning, Suzumiya had a few things to say to me. "Aren't you finished, yet?" she immediately asked.

"I've had a few last-minute rewrites," I answered. "Didn't I tell you how this works?"

"Huh?" she said, oblivious.

I explained, "I always spend at least one week panicking and rewriting everything from scratch."

"You're on week number three," she complained.

"Don't remind me," I muttered.

"Why didn't you come to club?" she asked. "Because of that script?"

"I'm having reservations about it," I admitted. "I don't want the others to be disappointed."

She sneered, "You're really just suffering from writer's block, aren't you?"

"I wish," I answered.

"I'm betting this conversation is going to end up in the script, isn't it?"

"No."

Okay, maybe something very similar to this conversation, but not this conversation exactly.

I asked her, "Would that really be so bad?"

"Maybe I could help out," she offered. "Just this once."

"Okay," I said.

"So, where are you stuck?" she asked.

I replied, "I have this esper and the heroine, but she doesn't yet know he's an esper."

"Okay," she said.

"There's also this other guy who gets involved because he works with the android. The android is constantly observing the heroine, and she has this assistant."

"And the assistant is a slider from another world."

"Right. Things get a little complicated, though."

"Isn't this other guy the villain?"

"I'm thinking about making the android or her assistant the villain."

"So, what's the deal with this guy? He's just a nobody?"

If he isn't the villain, that pretty much makes him just an innocent bystander. So, yeah. He would be a nobody. That didn't seem like such a bad idea, once I thought about it this way.

I added, "The story so far is that this guy learns the truth about the android and her assistant. He isn't sure whether he should tell the heroine."

"Okay," she said. "That's a weird twist."

"To make things worse," I continued, "the android's assistant confesses to the guy."

"And that's where you're stuck?" she asked.

"Right," I answered. "I can't make this ordinary guy the villain because he just doesn't stack up as a villain. The audience wouldn't buy it."

"You got that right," she muttered. "Wait. Why is the android observing the heroine?"

I thought about that for a moment and answered, "Because she knows about the esper. Somehow, the heroine gets involved with him, and he ends up having to confront the villain."

"How about you make the android a witch?" she suggested.

"A witch?" I asked. "What for?"

"Doesn't that seem more menacing?" she said.

I sighed deeply, realizing that I had veered way off track at this point. Apparently, Suzumiya can't even keep the basic premise of a story straight. "Never mind," I said.

"I'm serious," she insisted. "An evil alien would also be a good choice."

"I'll just have to figure something out," I added.

- x -

At club, later that day, I resolved to allow Suzumiya and Koizumi free reign on brainstorming out the rest of my story. It was depressing, and I don't think Asahina was too thrilled about it, but at least she wasn't objecting to the romance I had inserted into the story just yet, either.

Suzumiya started, "Since Kyon's script is a mess right now, I've decided we're going to help him brainstorm."

"That's a good idea," Koizumi said. "So, where are we at in the story?"

She responded, "Kyon plays Mitch, the evil scheming student, whose ambitions for world domination have led him on a path of discovering an android and her assistant."

"Eliza and Sara, right?" he asked.

"That's right," she answered. "He then shortly encounters the protagonist, an esper by the name of Jones. The heroine then appears."

He then asked, "The unsuspecting girl named Veronica?"

"Right. She has a casual interest in these weird people that gets her in trouble."

"I can see why we're at a bit of an impasse."

"It would have never crossed my mind to consider Mitch to be anything but a villain, however Kyon has told me that he's having second thoughts about that."

"Wait. What does Veronica know about the others?"

"Veronica has encountered Sara, before. She discovered some time ago that Sara is a time traveler, and that she likes to slide between worlds."

"Oh, I see. She thinks the others are time travelers, as well."

"She's slowly remembering about Sara. Meanwhile, Sara has been showing a romantic interest in Mitch. That's where the story is."

"Sounds fine to me."

"If you ask me, it's all a little too complicated."

"Well, it's still all good as long as the story can focus on the animosity between Mitch and Veronica, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, there's only so much we can portray. This is primarily a story about the two of them, right?"

"Most of the dialogue looked like it was between Mitch and Jones."

"Yeah, but that's just dialogue. In the end, the action that follows from the story carries Mitch and Veronica into a confrontation. The android and the assistant are just side characters."

"Right. So, why Kyon is talking about changing the villain to one of them, I have no idea."

And that's where Koizumi suddenly stopped and paused for a few moments, deeply in thought. He looked at me, and I just sighed and shook my head. Did Koizumi have this weird notion of Suzumiya, too? It seemed a little too weird that he would think of her the same way Nagato did.

"I mean," Suzumiya continued, "this is a comedy, so I expect a few screwball twists and turns, but there's only so much an audience can handle."

He then softly said, "I think I see what the problem is."

"What?" she asked.

He paused for another moment and answered, "I'm not sure how to put this..."

Asahina then suggested, "I think the villain should be the android's assistant."

"You do?" Koizumi asked her.

She added, "That would fit the conclusion a little better, wouldn't it?"

Suzumiya then asked, "So, where does that leave Mitch and Jones?"

Asahina explained, "Mitch is still upset with Veronica for some reason, but it's mainly because of Sara. When Jones stops him, he doesn't just save Veronica, he also saves Mitch from himself."

"Why on Earth would...?" Haruhi started to ask.

"Isn't that a little...?" Koizumi added.

I asked Asahina, "And then what?"

"Well..." she answered, pausing in thought.

"Yeah," Koizumi said, "I have a problem with that, myself."

I might be able to picture the android's assistant as the villain, but then making the esper into the multi-purpose hero in this way was just too much. It left me with a bad taste in my mouth, and I think the audience would be cringing at the result. Only a really desperate author would resort to such a cheesy twist, anyway. I shook my head in disapproval.

"If the villain is Sara," I said, "then that just makes her manipulative and irresponsible. I can't go along with an ending like that."

"Jeez," Suzumiya complained, "you guys are picky. How about you just make Veronica the villain?"

"How can I do that?" I asked. "You want me to make her both the heroine and the villain?"

"Why not?" she asked.

Yeah. Why not? There's no rule that says you can't make the hero and the villain the same person. It's a lot more work for the author, but it can be done.

Suzumiya added, "You guys are getting too much into your characters. We should just have fun with it and do whatever. Who cares who the villain or the hero is? It's just a movie."

I agreed, "Yeah, you're right."

She continued, "Heroes and villains are overrated, anyway. What we should do is a story that has nothing but villains."

"So, what do we do for an ending?" I asked her.

"I like the ending the way it is," she answered, "but we really ought to have the android in a battle scene. I mean, what's the point in having an android if you don't have a cool android battle?"

"Right," I said, suddenly remembering why I had stopped listening to her before. What was sad is that I ultimately did end up with an android battle. Sometimes, I really hate my life.

- x -

I eventually realized that I had let my thoughts wander around, looking for things to write about. I hadn't considered what might happen if I actually found something worth writing about, and I was at a loss for a way to write it when it did come. It was very frustrating, and I spent a lot of time at the library, doing revisions. Asahina eventually caught on to the fact that this had been happening, and she eventually caught up with me one afternoon.

"Here you are," she said. "I've been wondering where you were."

"Oh, hey," I said. "Have a seat."

"Thanks," she said.

Over the past few days, my mysterious rage had been cooling a bit. Behind it had been the preconceptions I had held toward Asahina. I had assumed that she was indifferent, money-grubbing, and pretentious. I was slowly discovering that this girl was very much the opposite of my initial impressions, and that made me hate myself. It can be disappointing to face the painfulness of your teenage years, especially the lonely ridicule you endure most of the time, but it can be just as disappointing when people turn out to be better than you expect. I had always been disillusioned about the world. I didn't just expect people to mistreat me, but I had come to expect it and to relish in it a little. It made me who I was. And now, I didn't even know who I was, anymore.

"I like the library," I admitted. "Nice and quiet."

I can't bring myself to say what I'm really thinking: that I like her, and that I wish she would never leave me. But how do you do that? How do you even open your mouth to form sentences like that? It's preposterous. I mean, the thought that she could like me was just starting to take shape in reality. I was just beginning to realize that it wasn't all just a dream, and that made me wonder about my story. How do you dream about reality when reality itself seems like a dream?

"You really shouldn't listen to Miss Suzumiya, you know."

"About what?"

"Just write whatever comes to you naturally. That's the best way."

Sometimes, you grasp around in the dark for something that turns out to be right in front of you the whole time, and that just becomes even more depressing. My attitude toward writing had been stagnating into a cynical grasping after gimmicks, when really the story had been there the whole time. All I really had to do was just look at it and write it for what it really was.

I sighed deeply and said, "Yeah..."

This is the way I've always known writing to be, and I berated myself for not realizing earlier. You have to let the story write itself through you. The moment you begin thinking of yourself as the author of your story, the story runs away and hides from you. But if you stop and wait for the story with a welcoming attitude, it might just decide to return and start to play with you again, and then you'll have something to write about.

"So, have you figured it out?" she asked.

"I think so," I answered, resolved to say the first thing that came to mind. "What do you think of this? Mitch is an unlikely hero. He saves the world from Veronica's evil designs."

"I'm not sure about that," she answered. "How did you come to that conclusion?"

I thought for a moment and replied, "It's this crazy idea Miss Nagato gave me. She kept insisting, so I've been thinking I should just humor her."

"What on Earth?"

"She insists that you're a time traveler, for example."

"She does?"

"She also thinks Miss Suzumiya has this weird power to just make things happen, just because I write it that way."

"Okay."

"Isn't that crazy?"

"Well, the truth is that I am a time traveler, but that idea about Suzumiya is crazy."

I never once considered the possibility that Asahina might be so casual about admitting to being a time traveler. I knew she had it in her, but to face the reality like this was something I just couldn't imagine. It then hit me again like suddenly stubbing my toe in a dark bedroom that she could discover herself a stranger in this time and regret having ever left the home of her own time.

She added, "You can rest assured that she can't just make anything happen."

"You're serious?" I asked, and it was obvious that I was asking about the time travel part.

"Yeah," she replied. "You have a problem with people from the future?"

"How do you know Nagato is wrong about Suzumiya?" I asked.

"She has this crazy idea that I'm competing with Suzumiya over you, for example."

"She does?"

"Have you even once heard Miss Suzumiya express feelings for you?"

"No."

"See? And if she did, how would you react?"

"I'd refuse, of course. I mean, I like you a lot, even if you are from the future. You have to admit, it is a little creepy."

I then realized that I was composing my words here to Asahina the way I had normally gone about writing. It was very natural, but it almost didn't seem real that I had actually said any of that.

"It's no big deal," Asahina dismissed.

"That's right," I agreed. "It does make me wonder, though."

"About what?"

"What the future is like."

"It's boring. You're much better off in the past."

"Really?"

"I've always wanted to stay in the past, actually. I've been visiting the past since I was really young."

To me, this seemed a lot like the way I viewed the difference between living in the suburbs and living in a small town. When you live in a small town, you dream a lot about living in the city, but then living anywhere near a city convinces you that you were better off in a small town.

"That's pretty amazing," I casually remarked.

"What's amazing is how courageous you are," she told me.

"I am?" I asked, not sure I'd heard her right.

"You remember your first kiss?" she asked.

"I had a first kiss?" I asked, fumbling through my memory and coming up blank.

She continued, "You remember about six years ago when you came here to visit your aunt?"

"Sounds vaguely familiar," I answered, getting a blur of recognition.

"There was this nice little restaurant on the outskirts of town. It isn't there anymore, though."

"It's not?"

"They built a shopping mall there. Kind of sad, when you think about it."

"Yeah."

"You remember the sign out front? It looked like a mother and son, but I kind of had the impression that she was about to punish him for doing something naughty."

I then had a brilliant memory of approaching that sign in the darkness of night, and it was one of the more vivid images I can recall from that period of time. I had always wondered where that had come from, but now I remembered it in detail.

I laughed softly and admitted, "Oh, wow. Now, I remember."

"You could hardly miss it," she added. "It was a small sign, but you could see it from way down the road, as you approached."

"Yeah."

"Anyway, we were waiting for seats, but we'd already been there for about a half an hour. That lobby was pretty amazing."

"I remember all that. I got tired of waiting, so I hid in one of the storage rooms. Weird. Up until recently, I had thought that was all a dream."

"Yeah. Actually, I was in that storage room, looking for something to eat."

"You asked about my mother, and I said she'd been there a few times with my aunt. It was a nice place to go."

"Then you looked at me and you asked me if I'd like to kiss you."

That memory had been waiting for what seemed like forever for me to come and find it, and now it barely seemed real. Was that really me? It couldn't have been, but I looked again through my memory and distinctly remembered it again. I had invited her to kiss me, and she did so, rather enthusiastically. Please bear in mind that I was just a kid, and I did get in trouble a lot when I was that age.

"So, I kissed you," she said. "Now, you remember?"

I muttered, "I was pretty courageous as a kid, huh?"

"I'm really impressed you can remember all that," she added.

"Why not?" I asked. "It happened, right?"

"Yeah," she answered, "but I've traveled into the past so many times since then, I'm amazed I didn't change that event somehow."

Having remembered all that, I was rewarded with a lot of imagery. Walking with my family down a sidewalk amongst falling leaves, listening to the soft back-and-forth of my parents (my father from back then and my mother) and thinking that nothing bad could happen to us, accidentally spilling my food onto the floor of the restaurant somehow and seeing it promptly replaced by the kindly woman who ran the place, lying awake in the complete darkness of my bedroom and thinking about comic books. Well, I could go on and on, but you get the idea. The point is, I had a lot of good reasons that had nothing to do with me to be a courageous kid.

If Asahina said I didn't need to worry about Suzumiya, then I could simply forget her. I became amused that I had ever let the thought bother me. I casually asked, "I really don't need to worry about what I write, then?"

"Well," she answered, "just to be on the safe side..."

"Right," I said. "I'll just lighten up a bit on the romance."

"Thanks," she said.

I still wanted a little romance, but I thought I could probably tone it down a bit. If nothing else, I could go back and water it down in editing.

"You sure you aren't competing with Miss Suzumiya?" I asked. "I mean, she does have this weirdly intense interest in me that she doesn't show anyone else."

"What makes you say that?" she asked.

I answered, "She was convinced that she'd met me, before."

"That's because she has," Asahina informed me, "though it wasn't the you that you are, right now."

"It was a me from the future?" I asked.

"More like," she replied, "it was a you from a potential future that doesn't exist in this time plane. The me she met wasn't this me, either."

"Time planes?"

"Yeah. Whenever me or someone else from the future creates a lasting change, it creates a time plane. I'm not from this time plane, obviously."

Obviously? Not. To Asahina, this was all pretty obvious, her being a time traveler, but this was all still Greek to me. I wondered just exactly how that all worked, but it started a log jam of questions until one question eventually made itself to my lips.

"Which time plane are you from?" I asked.

"The first one," she smoothly answered.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

- x -

From that point on, the rewriting went a lot more smoothly, though I still had a lot more material than I could possibly use. I had a pretty solid three acts, but the fourth and fifth acts were still pretty rough. Everything was coming out really heavy-handed and contrived, but at least it was finally coming out. I would think that I was satisfied with my script and then think of some way I could rewrite everything again. This was a process that repeated many times over the next couple weeks. In a way, I was relearning how to write.

In the meantime, the club continued on the way it had before, though a few little things started to change. For example, one afternoon, I showed up and noticed Suzumiya sitting behind a nice desktop computer. She wasn't typing or anything. She was just looking at the monitor and frowning the way she normally does. Nagato was there, as usual, but I didn't notice anyone else.

"Hello," I said, sitting at the table and opening a soda.

"Hey, Kyon," Suzumiya greeted me.

"Where did that come from?" I asked her.

"I borrowed it," she said.

"From the computer club?"

"That's right."

I could just picture the way she might "borrow" something from the computer club. Knowing her, she probably just walked in, asked them which one was the best one, then carried it away like there was nothing wrong with doing that. Actually, she probably had one of them carry it for her.

She added, "We can't all be happy with laptops, you know."

I then noticed a line running along the floor and asked, "You also borrowed the cable?"

She answered, "It is kind of pointless to have a computer in here without the internet."

"I seem to have no trouble without it," I remarked.

"Yeah," she said. "Well, that's just you."

"Sheesh."

Typical. It doesn't matter what I do. She just does whatever she wants. That's fine. She can get herself in trouble. I'm not going to fix it when she does screw up too badly.

She then complained, "The others are late."

"Yeah," I said. "I wonder where Miss Asahina went."

Suzumiya then sneered at me, "Heh."

"What's with that look?" I asked, picturing flames shooting out my eyes at her.

"You didn't waste any time," she said.

"What?" I asked, perfectly aware of what she was saying.

"You're already making out with her?" she asked.

"Don't be vulgar," I scolded her.

She smiled and explained, "No, it's just that I didn't peg her for the type. I mean, she could do a whole lot better than you."

"I won't disagree with that," I muttered.

"You sure you can handle her?" she asked.

"What's to handle?" I softly answered. "She seems like a really nice person."

"That's just my point," she added. "Her constantly being nice to you would probably drive a guy like you nuts."

"You sure about that?"

"Well, I can't blame you for wanting to gamble on her. Good luck."

"Thanks."

"What do you think, Yuki?"

Nagato glanced up at Suzumiya, then went right back to reading. If there was any exchange between them, I didn't see it.

"Yeah," Suzumiya said, "they'll probably break up inside of two weeks. Three, tops."

"Keep dreaming," I said, fervently hoping she wouldn't be right about that.

"I'm just kidding," she said. "Jeez. You take everything so seriously."

"That's my line."

"But seriously, you going out with her really pisses me off."

I looked at her seriously, and she did seem to be a little angry. I couldn't even imagine the reason for it, so I asked, "Why is that?"

"She was supposed to be mine," she answered.

"Are you sure that's the only reason?" I asked.

She paused for a moment and answered, "That's a good one, coming from Mephistopheles."

This was such a bizarre way to answer that I then said, "Okay, you have got to tell me exactly what happened, three years ago."


	29. I'm Talking to You

- Chapter 4: I'm Talking to You

The incident from three years ago was just the sort of ridiculous thing that Suzumiya might write about in one of her stories, so I gave it a wide berth in my considerations. I later learned that this insanity wasn't just confined to three years ago, but rather also extended out to nine years ago. I had become confused over the several instances of where she had said that she "recognized" me, and it led to a conversation about my having weaved a story of Asahina having a nervous condition (which was something that Asahina recognized, though she didn't tell me how she knew). It was chilling and twisted, just the sort of thing I might do if I were really bored, but I ultimately rejected it as the product of her imagination. Maybe she thinks she has some hold over me, but that's about the extent of it.

When I told all this to Asakura at our next production meeting, she laughed heartily and congratulated me for "confounding the wisdom" of her partner Yuki Nagato. I later learned that those two have some kind of weird relationship, and that she enjoys proving Nagato wrong. As I later explain, however, I don't think Nagato was wrong. Nevertheless, it was nice to see Asakura in good spirits, and she later admitted that she was just happy to see things start to get "interesting" more than anything else. I have come to understand that carpe diem works at a very low level in her mind, and that has made me very wary of her, though it does give her a certain charm. Working so closely with her and having experienced several strange encounters made me start to have disturbing dreams, and I chalked those up to my vivid imagination.

It's no surprise that my imagination would start to run wild. The prospect of living my life in any way with Asahina was an exciting thing. She was soon putting all her worries in my hands, and they were such laughably light matters that we would soon come to an understanding (as I have already shown). There was nothing to prevent her from expecting only the best attitude from me, and I soon learned that her expectations were very modest. I may as well have been Diogenes in her eyes, and that so agreed with my inclinations that I could not have resisted her. Strangely, she also put me on an emotional pedestal. It was nothing like the weird admiration she shows to Suzumiya (which, in itself, was surprising), but it was enough that I felt confident in her attitude toward me. That is to say, if anyone had started spreading slanders about her, those slanders would have fallen on deaf ears (and the slanderer would have likely been beaten senseless, but I digress).

We began to soon get in the habit of meeting everyday after club at the library. This gave me the chance to get some serious writing done, and I would also not neglect my school work. (High school very much agrees with me, and though the homework is a bit much, I found myself enjoying the challenge much more than middle school.) It was mostly just a simple and quiet time. I think I enjoy these moments the most. Every now and then, however, we would have a conversation. For example, one day, we had a discussion that went something like this:

"Have you looked over my script yet?" I asked.

"Yeah," she replied.

"Well," I asked, "what do you think?"

"Looks fine to me," she answered, giving me the usual green light no matter what garbage I write.

I then asked, "You don't think Veronica saying things like 'Oh God, what have I done?' is a little on the heavy side?"

She then answered, "It isn't the kind of thing she'd say in front of Mitch, but it seems perfectly in character to me."

"Just looking for an observer's point of view," I explained. "I'd really like everything to come across in a somewhat coherent fashion."

"Yeah," she added.

"You know what I mean?"

"I have to admit, I wasn't a big fan of that idea, but I'm starting to come around."

"Mitch doesn't just fight with Veronica. His conflict with her tells a story about her mad ambitions and her way of viewing everyone around her as an object."

"I like how there's clearly a hero and a villain."

"You don't care much for 'morally gray' stories?"

"No."

"Miss Suzumiya wanted to make the story that way, but I think it's just laziness that makes people write that way."

"You're never lazy about the way you write."

I'm not? Well, now that I think about it, I do tend to take my writing seriously. Even so, I don't really devote more than an hour a day to it. Maybe she just meant that I don't tend to leap ahead of myself from one topic to another without giving due consideration to some kind of segue. I hate it when people get choppy, though I sometimes do that myself toward the end of my own stories.

She then added, "You're very thorough, most of the time." This seemed to confirm what I was thinking.

I was also starting to think that Asahina likes to take things slow. (I mostly agree with that. In fact, she'd invited me to call her "Mikuru," but I wasn't comfortable with doing that just yet.) There seemed to be this space between us, and though I get nervous at the thought of closing up spaces like that, I also get a little anxious when those spaces persist for as long as this one was starting to look like it would.

"Shouldn't we be meeting up somewhere more private?" I asked.

She answered, "I don't want to rush things."

"Okay," I said.

She added, "This is going to sound girly, but I'd really prefer you didn't rush into anything. You should enjoy your youth while you still can."

"We both should," I said.

"That's right," she agreed.

I sighed deeply at the thought that she wasn't quite on the same wavelength as me, here. I then asked, "You don't think you'd enjoy your youth a little more with me?"

She answered, "I don't want things to get too serious too quickly. And..."

"And?" I prompted.

She very softly admitted, "I hate the thought of having to confront a jealous girlfriend."

I laughed briefly and immediately apologized, "I'm sorry."

"It's not funny," she complained.

"It is funny," I gently insisted. "I mean, the thought that I might have a jealous girlfriend, giving you the evil eye. It's ridiculous."

She then complained, "You don't have a whole lot of confidence in yourself."

"No, I don't," I agreed.

"You really should," she gently insisted. "You have a lot more to offer than you realize."

I wondered for a moment who this jealous girlfriend could potentially be. Suzumiya and myself both share a lot of the same aspirations, but I think Nagato is someone that I can more readily relate to. That is to say, her insanity seems quite a bit more rational than Suzumiya's. I've always had a fondness for a more methodical approach to thinking, and that's one area where Nagato beats everyone else, hands down.

"You're worried about Nagato?" I guessed.

"She worries me the most," Asahina admitted. "Yeah, she doesn't see you as just a friend. And she creeps me out like you wouldn't believe."

I then recalled a certain weird conversation and said, "She told me that I'm about to confront a 'previous iteration' of Suzumiya, and that I should call her the moment that happens."

"Is that what's about to happen?" she asked.

I shook my head at the thought. It was too weird. I don't like thinking about conversations like that, but that's the sort of thing Nagato insists on. Never mind that it actually was going to happen, but I couldn't think of it as anything but sheer insanity.

"If she says so," I muttered.

Asahina then said, "Do me a favor and call me when that happens."

"Okay," I said.

"She probably gave you a dire warning, right?"

"Actually, she did say that her failure to return Suzumiya would result in a temporal feedback loop, or something like that."

I hadn't really been listening. To my mind, Nagato really is an alien, and more than in a literal sense. She must seem pretty alien to her fellow aliens.

"A time quake," Asahina clarified.

"Is that what that's called?" I asked.

She answered, "Well, I've studied the theory, but I've never seen it actually happen."

- x -

I've studied a lot of romantic theory (in the form of TV shows and movies), but I was still a long way away from seeing that really happen in a meaningful way. It's true that I had come to an understanding with Asahina, but that only opened the door for a potential weekly date in the form of having dinner with the parents (which was something she could do) or maybe going out to see a movie (which was something she would leave for me to choose). We weren't actually doing anything just yet. If this was what she meant by "enjoy your youth," I don't know if I really care for this definition of enjoy. She's such a sweetheart that I would probably set fires to houses or even smash my own fingers with a hammer for her amusement if she wanted, but there are limits to how much I think I can endure.

I had thought we could at least share lunch together, but even that persisted in the same way as usual. Just me and these other two guys. Sheesh.

"I heard you're working on a movie," Taniguchi said.

"Yeah," I said, briefly confused why he was bringing it up. "You want to be in it?"

"Maybe as an extra," he answered.

I asked, "You're just planning to show up when Asakura shows, huh?"

"I don't want any of your weirdness to rub off on me," he said.

"My weirdness?" I said, wondering where that came from.

"It's the Suzumiya effect," he explained.

Kunikida then asked, "A movie? Why didn't you mention it?"

"I did," I said.

"This is the first I'm hearing it," Kunikida complained.

I was certain I had brought up the subject. It was weird that they were asking about it now.

"Maybe you should listen to people," I suggested.

He then asked, "Any good roles left?"

"No," I replied. "Koizumi did a good job casting the side roles."

"Who's your heroine?" he asked. "Is that Suzumiya?"

"Yeah," I answered, "but she's the villain now."

Taniguchi then remarked, "I take it you aren't doing a romance."

"Much as I'd like to," I said, "I don't think I'm really suited to writing romance. The world of adults is still a bit of a mystery to me."

"Jeez," he complained.

Kunikida then shook his head and softly remarked, "It's pretty amazing that you're able to admit that."

"Is it?" I asked.

"Where is Suzumiya, anyway?" Kunikida asked.

Taniguchi replied, "Where do you think?"

- x -

Since the first day, Suzumiya had spent all her free time at the school looking for aliens or whatever. It was her one admirable trait, though I worried that she was just setting herself up for a big disappointment. She seemed like an alien to me, though. If she wanted to see something interesting, all she really needed to do was look in a mirror. Maybe that's all I am to her. I do have an interesting way of reflecting her ideas back at her.

I found myself drawn outside to one of the school lawns, staring at the trees as they swayed in the wind. There wasn't any particular reason for it. This was just one of those times when the body and mind were in perfect harmony for me, so I found myself doing mysterious things to encourage wordless fancies to dance through my imagination. That's primarily how I go about finding inspiration in the first place. You can't write without inspiration, but you can't find it just because you go looking for it. You have to wait for it to come looking for you.

I'm not sure how long it was that I just stood there, watching one particular tree until I became aware that Suzumiya was sitting underneath it the whole time. I marveled for a moment that I had let the time slip away from me, but then I marveled that Suzumiya was basically doing the same thing.

I casually approached her and said, "Hey."

"Hey there, Kyon," she answered in a strangely casual tone. "Don't give me any of your random babbling, okay?"

This is what a mirror is to her: a scrambled mixture of random images. Maybe there was something to Taniguchi's earlier assessment.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"So," I observed, "you're just enjoying a sunny day, huh?"

"I'm really disappointed," she very softly remarked. "I thought things would get... you know... a little weirder, once Mikuru showed up. I guess I just took her for granted."

"Okay," I said.

"What am I talking about?" she lightly scolded herself. "I witnessed a time traveler. I should be happy."

"Yeah."

"I go to school everyday with a time traveler, so who knows what could happen."

Yeah. Who knows? Asahina could disappear the next day for no particular reason. I don't particularly care for this line of thinking, but it does occur to me, every now and then. It had the effect of making me feel more keenly that I shouldn't live every day like I'm immortal, but I've started to regret that attitude, later on in life. If you live with an awareness of your mortality, all you're really doing is confirming Maslow's hierarchy. I had always been an admirer of Lao Tzu, but you can only spend so much time thinking only about yourself, and you can't really be creative or spontaneous or accepting of facts if you're blinded by the reality of your own mortality. Thoughts like these briefly flitted across my mind with varying impact as I stood there, noticing the scowl grow on Suzumiya's face.

"You're being awfully quiet," she complained.

I then remarked, "I have a feeling things are about to get a whole lot weirder."

"What?" she asked. "Are you psychic?"

"No," I replied, "I have a lot of good reasons to think this way."

There was a distant sound of some other students conversing, and this made me think about what Asahina was doing here. It was pretty obvious that she came from a world that was very different from this one. Her life had been much more comfortable and predictable, and there was a strong urge in her toward rebellion against that. At the same time, she still had some trouble coping with it, though she seemed eager to plunge into it, at the same time. It was an interesting thought. Every day must seem like a terrifying dilemma for her, so I couldn't even imagine the impulse that drove her to stay in this time.

I softly remarked, "It's really too bad you don't know her the way I do."

"Is she a cyborg?" Suzumiya asked me.

"No," I answered.

"Is she a clone?" she continued. "Does she shoot laser beams from her eyes? Can she transform into a super girl?"

"No. I don't mean it in that way."

"Sheesh. So, why even bring it up?"

"Never mind."

"I wish something weird could happen right now."

Yeah. If anything weird could happen, it probably would be best to happen right then. Then again, things don't always work out the way you like. I was just starting to wonder what would really work for her.

"You should try dating," I suggested.

"Dating?" she asked. "What for?"

I replied, "Your problem is you have all this pent-up energy. You need to use it up doing something more meaningful."

"Romance?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Give me a break," she softly complained. "You think I want to put myself through all that?"

If anyone confirms Maslow's hierarchy, it would be her. The thing is, she'd be stuck between the first two stages (needs and safety) and a long way from the third stage (social motives). Maybe she had an averse experience related to the fourth (esteem) and that drove her downward on the chart. That seemed to explain her way of thinking well enough at the time.

She added, "I'm not stupid enough to think that some mindless feelings are meaningful. There's nothing more commonplace in this whole world than icky emotions. Honestly, I don't get it."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah, really," she insisted. "Sometimes, I wish I was an android. I mean, imagine if I really did what you suggested. Okay, what then?"

"Have fun?" I offered.

"Fun?" she scoffed. "Is dating all that fun? Just how often are you making out with Mikuru?"

"I'm getting there," I muttered.

"Can you really see me in a serious relationship?" she asked.

I tried picturing it, but every combination my mind tossed at me just gave me the urge to shake my head in disgust. No one in the world could possibly satisfy her and I doubted anyone in the world really deserves to be treated so badly by her.

"Why aren't you answering my question?" she complained.

"Why are we talking about this?" I asked.

"I don't know," she answered. "It was your suggestion. Sheesh."

"Maybe you're right," I admitted. "Maybe you can't handle a serious relationship."

"I'm definitely too young," she stated. "I want to live a little, first."

How much life would be enough to convince her that she really needed other people in it? I wondered about that, and I eventually guessed that it might take her about ten years for her to fully realize. Just as I was smirking at the thought and wondering if she could read my mind, I looked around and actually saw her appear in that form (a woman any man might gladly die for, though she probably worried that she was starting to get too old). This Suzumiya had appeared so smoothly and casually that I had initially thought that Suzumiya had transformed herself instantly into an older woman, but then I looked back toward the tree and noticed that the younger one was still there.

"Oh, what the hell?" she said, noticing where I had been looking.

"Kyon?" asked the older one. "Whoa. Where am I?"

As the older Suzumiya approached us, I began to wonder if this was what three years ago had been like for her. This was truly disturbing, and I found myself reeling in shock.

"Hey..." the younger one said, getting up and approaching.

"I've met myself before," the older remarked. "Are you the me from a previous time plane?"

"What the...?" the younger said.

I collected myself and remarked, "This is a bit sooner than I expected."

"You expected this?" the younger one asked me.

"Kyon?" the older one asked me. "Is this high school?"

"Are you me from the future?" the younger one asked.

The older one replied, "I don't think this is any past I can remember."

"What the heck are time planes?" the younger one asked.

I explained, "A time plane is what you get when a time traveler creates a lasting change. It changes the whole world, for at least a century or two."

"How on Earth did you travel back in time?" the younger one asked.

"Yeah," I agreed, "that's what I'm wondering."

Just as I said that, I noticed Nagato had appeared.

The younger Suzumiya told her, "Yuki, you stay out of this."

The older Suzumiya then added, "I don't know exactly what happened. I was just looking for Kyon, and I suddenly appeared here."

"You were looking for him?"

"Yeah. I had thought someone was playing a trick on me, but Kyon really did vanish."

"Vanish? What are you talking about?"

"I needed some help with my grades..."

As if this situation wasn't bizarre enough, the older Suzumiya was also strangely idiotic. The younger Suzumiya was rather apt at scholastics, and I often marveled that she could accomplish so much schoolwork in so little time.

The older Suzumiya continued, "Kyon always does a lot better than I do at stuff like math."

"I do?" I asked.

"Shut up," the younger one ordered me. She then asked the older one, "You went to college, right?"

"Right," she replied. "I guess I ended up in some weird situation."

"People don't just travel through time, though."

"I know. So, what is this?"

"Hey, Kyon. You have any idea what's going on?"

I was starting to have some difficulty telling them apart, and their unity in this notion that I had all the answers wasn't helping.

"You want my opinion, now?" I asked.

"Don't be that way," the younger one snapped.

"All right," I said, grudgingly obliging, "but this is above and beyond the call of duty. If you really want my opinion, I think what happened is that Yuki Nagato arranged for this."

"How do you figure that?" the younger one asked.

"Miss Nagato," I asked, "do you know how I disappeared in that previous time plane?"

She answered, "You traversed a temporal feedback loop, somehow."

"A what?" the older Suzumiya asked.

"A time quake?" I asked.

Nagato explained in her usual monotone, "There are few mechanisms by which that can be accomplished, however the one that involved your disappearance in the third time plane is of unknown origin. I have speculated that it will originate in the ninth time plane."

"Which time plane is this one?" I asked.

"The sixth," she answered.

"You've gotta be kidding me," I complained.

The younger Suzumiya asked, "Could you guys use words I understand?"

I then asked Nagato, "Am I right in thinking that Miss Asahina didn't send Miss Suzumiya to this time plane?"

"Yes," she answered.

"Okay..." I said, seriously trying to piece this together.

"So..." the older Suzumiya started.

"I think I have it figured out," I said to her. "You're looking for the me from your time plane?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"He isn't here, though," I said. "He's in a completely different time plane."

"Okay," she said.

"Why are you looking for him?" the younger one asked. "I didn't quite understand that part."

"It's complicated," the older one immediately answered.

"Okay," the younger one said.

"I'd rather not talk about it," the older one added. That seemed to clarify the issue a bit.

"Well," the younger one remarked, "then you certainly don't need my help."

"What?" I asked.

"Never mind," the younger one told me.

Of all the people to get lost in time, the thought that I would be the one to do that was the most ridiculous. Or maybe the thought that the one who would come looking for me would be Suzumiya was the most ridiculous. I wasn't sure.

The older one then asked, "Yuki, what can I do?"

"I can send you back," she answered.

"I thought you said you couldn't do that."

"The me from your time plane lacked that capability, yes."

"So, you can take me to the ninth time plane?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because the seventh time plane is terminated in a temporal feedback loop. I'm only aware that the ninth time plane exists because I have observed clues of the twelfth and thirteenth time planes."

"And because of Kyon's disappearance."

Nagato nodded to that observation, and that brought me around to what they were discussing. Not that I understood, of course. This stuff is way over my head, but I think I understood in a weird way what they meant. It never occurred to me to question the validity of it all or to wonder if maybe Nagato wasn't being a little disingenuous (which I know she sometimes is).

The older Suzumiya then asked, "So, I'm going to have to wait?"

"Yes," Nagato answered.

"Hold on!" the younger Suzumiya commanded.

"What?" the older one asked.

The younger one then demanded, "At least tell me I'm not wasting my time here. What exactly is Yuki to you? Are there other weird things that are going to happen to me?"

This was typical Suzumiya. It was somewhat gratifying to see that she even perplexed herself with her crazy demands, but this made me aware of where we were and what we were doing. I worried for a moment that someone might be observing all this, but then this whole situation might just appear to be a normal conversation to anyone witnessing from a distance. I was then a little confounded by the fact that the older Suzumiya was really only maybe five years older than this Suzumiya, though she had struck me as ten years older, initially.

"Please!" the younger one insisted. "I have to know."

"Why are you asking me?" the older one said. "Just ask Kyon. He can tell you things even I can't."

"But..." the younger one started.

"I should go," the older one interrupted.

"Okay," the younger one said.

The older one then went to Nagato and took her hand, looking back for a moment and remarking, "Just be grateful you don't have my fate." The moment she finished saying that, she vanished, along with Nagato.

For a long moment, I just marveled and wondered that such a thing could happen. I then asked Suzumiya, "That weird enough for you?"

"Oh, man!" she exclaimed. "That was so cool! I want to go to other time planes."

"Be careful what you wish for," I warned.

"What?" she said. "Oh... It might just happen, huh?"

- x -

That incident was amusing, but the avalanche of revelations afterward was a real trial. It eventually came out in club during a read through of the story that all of this had happened. A number of other revelations came out, including the fact that Asahina and I were a couple. Suzumiya is anything but discreet, so I knew this would happen. Even so, it felt like a heavy weight being dropped onto my back, and I strained to think of all this stuff coming out so suddenly, but then this must be what it feels like to read my story, if you were playing one of these characters. None of those revelations should have been all that shocking at that point.

When I went to the library later that afternoon, I was a little worried that Asahina might not even show up. It was a relief when she did, sitting across from me at the table, as usual.

"Sorry about that," I immediately said.

"It's okay," she answered. "I expected something like that to happen. Anyway, isn't it nice to not have to lie about it?"

"I didn't exactly lie up till now," I admitted.

"I know," she said, "and I was little upset about that, but it's okay."

"Really?" I asked.

She took a deep breath and said, "I realized that I'd been afraid of how you'd react if we were exposed like that."

"Oh," I said.

"It's okay," she repeated. "I want us to be more open. You were right."

"So, you want to catch a movie this weekend?" I offered.

"Sure," she answered. "Why not?"

She didn't look all that thrilled about the idea for a moment, but then she smiled at me, as if taking a moment to scold herself.

"I think I can handle it," she added.


	30. Dancing on a Highwire

- Chapter 5: Dancing on a Highwire

At this point in the story, you might reasonably expect some dramatic twist like me having second thoughts about Asahina or an old boyfriend of Asahina's to show up or Asahina's parents to suddenly come visiting from the future or Suzumiya suddenly expressing some faintly suggestive remarks. And all those things did eventually happen, years later at various times. Even so, I'd rather stay on track and write about what's really important here: my movie script. Maybe I'll eventually write about those other things, but probably not. It's all very cliche, and if you've made it this far, I have no doubt you can imagine what happened. Anyway, at this point, I've become so jaded with my life that I really don't care anymore. I just smile for a second and pretend because I don't want to deal with the inevitable anguish that'll occur if I don't.

Had I written this ten years ago, I probably would have ended with one of those stories because I didn't really know any better. In any case, I had a pretty solid and brilliant script (if I may say so, myself) that had nice, aerial dialogue and a pretty fluid style. I doubted I could deliver my lines as well as I had written them, but then I was still hip deep in writing the fifth act, and I started to wonder if I really needed any kind of climax to this story. I mean, I already had an interesting twist occur in the previous act. Maybe that's all I needed, and I could just call it finished right there.

My problem is that I like to explain everything. I have to understand why everything happens the way it does, so I feel obligated to explain everything to my audience. I think I've shown some good restraint in this story. So, for example, I've neglected to explain why Koizumi didn't start dating, why I chose writing as a hobby instead of gaming or whatever, why I started bringing games into the club in the first place, why Suzumiya always asks Nagato her opinion when Nagato obviously doesn't want to offer it, why I always seem to have a soda in my hand whenever we start club, why Taniguchi hangs out with me and Kunikida, why Asahina chose this particular time plane to hook up with me, why Koizumi never seems to get upset with me, why Nagato never seems to get serious eye strain... Well, I could go on and on and on.

I can't just have the villain have an encounter with herself and then say that's that. I have to at least give the general reaction. Meanwhile, Suzumiya had started to get more and more annoyed with my script, and she was about to show signs of being seriously opposed to any more all-too-realistic twists in my movie. As you might have expected, there was increasing tension between myself and Asahina, though we continued the movie/dinner thing for quite a while before anything serious did happen. There seemed to be a strong correlation between how annoyed Suzumiya was with me and how close Asahina was willing to get, but that was probably Nagato's fault. It seems her alleged speculation about Suzumiya was correct, although it wasn't certain, and Asahina and I would always laugh about it. I got the feeling she felt that it probably was true, though.

It was understandable that Suzumiya would start to get annoyed with me, though. I still hadn't finished the script, and it was nearly the end of June. I still wanted to do a complete rewrite, while Suzumiya just wanted to start on a serious read through. It seemed to me that I still had a month, but that month would mostly be consumed in preparing for mid-terms (and making a brief visit to the past with Asahina). So, in reality, I only had about a week to finish, and I wasn't quite there, yet. I was trying, though. I'd spend each club period typing away on my laptop, while Suzumiya would look bored and glare at me. In the case of one particularly productive day, Asahina was the one reading, while Koizumi and Nagato were playing a game.

"Aren't you finished yet?" Suzumiya nagged me for the millionth time.

"Just one more act to go," I gave her my usual reply.

"This isn't a play," she complained.

"I know," I said, "but I would prefer to write it that way."

I've always had a thing for the simple structure of a classic Shakespearean style play. It's always seemed to me like the proper way to write a story.

She then warned me, "You need to have it finished by the end of the week."

"Why is that?" I asked.

"We need to start rehearsing," she answered. "We'll only have one month."

I shook my head and stated, "We'll have all summer vacation available to rehearse. I don't see what you're getting uptight about."

"I have a few other things planned for summer," she explained.

"You plan out your summer?" I asked.

"Yeah," she replied. "What? You don't?"

"Of course not," I answered. "It's vacation. Why would you ruin it with plans?"

She scowled and repeated, "You have one week. If you don't finish by then, I'll kill you."

"All right," I said. "Jeez."

"What's left to write?" she then complained. "All you did was take a few things that actually happened and twisted it into a weird comedy."

"Well, it does have some romance," I admitted.

"Romance?" she asked. "I thought you were toning it down."

"Yeah, well..." I answered. "Now, I'm bringing it back."

"The scene where Sara confesses to Mitch?" she asked.

"That's right," I answered.

"Have you lost your mind?" she asked, getting more annoyed than usual.

"I guess you don't like that scene?" I said.

She answered, "The rest of it is barely tolerable, but do you really think I'm going to let you pull a stunt like that?"

"So, the kissing scene is out, too?"

"Kissing scene?"

"Yeah. In act four. Oh, wait. I just added that."

"You must really have a death wish."

I smiled and asked her, "You're upset?"

"I'm appalled," she replied. "Look. I know artists are supposed to be a little self-indulgent, but this is ridiculous. You can't just twist the situation around like that."

"I can't?" I asked.

"No," she answered, very firm.

"Well..." I said. "How about I change Veronica's opening? She'll say that she's looking for androids, witches, and demons."

"Why does she have to introduce herself like that?" she complained.

I answered, "The whole story depends on it. The point of the whole second act is that this girl is looking for interesting people, and then interesting people start to appear. It's called a cruel irony."

"Why are we doing a movie in the first place?" she then complained.

"Because it's something to do," I answered, getting a little flippant.

"How about you answer my question?" she insisted.

"Okay, look," I said, starting to get serious. "I knew you'd have some qualms about this, but I didn't realize you were going to resist this much."

She then explained, "I'm not against the movie as much as I dislike the way you're going with it. Can't we leave out the romance?"

"That's no good," I answered.

"Why?" she asked.

I explained, "I've already got the villain motivated by boredom. On top of that, the psychic and the android are bored. You want me to try to convince the audience that even the android's assistant acts out of boredom? I think that ship has sailed, already."

"What motivates Mitch?"

"He isn't bored. I can assure you of that."

That's for sure. If anything, Mitch has a bit too much on his plate.

I then observed, "You're worried about what people will say."

"No," she denied it.

"All right," I said, getting a little exasperated. "We don't need to do a movie. I can call it off."

"I'm not that upset," she softly admitted.

"I'm serious," I added.

"It's nothing," she said, scowling at me again. "Just forget it."

I shook my head and complained, "There's no point in doing a movie if it's going to upset you that much."

"Okay," she said.

"The thing is," I added, "I don't see what the big deal is. So, a few people start talking. So what?"

"It's just a movie?" she asked.

"That's right," I answered. "Don't confuse fantasy and reality. This is just a little harmless fun."

She then asked me, "Suppose someone from class asked you about it. They'll say something like, 'Didn't that weird girl say something just like that on the first day? And didn't she end up in a club filled with strange people?' What would you say?"

"Coincidence," I said, grinning broadly.

"Okay," she said, looking grim again. "Here's another weird coincidence: I just happen to know that the karate club members are all big fans of Asakura. Imagine what would happen if I told them that you were trash-talking them in front of her."

"Ouch," I said, thinking about that. She'd do it, too.

"This movie makes me look like a total ass," she complained.

"What's so bad about that?" I asked.

She gaped at me, and that look was so priceless I almost forgot what I was about to say.

I then added, "If you didn't want your character to be such an idiot, maybe you shouldn't have inspired me with such world-class idiocy of your own. You really think the audience can identify with nice, normal people? No way. You know as well as I do that an audience loves the villain. Heroes aren't cool. Heroes are boring."

"You have a point," she admitted.

"Of course," I said. "Sure, people will talk, but that'll make the movie more popular. And you know what they'll be saying? They'll be wishing they were you, that they could have pulled those stunts and gotten away with it. They'll be whispering, but out of envy."

"Okay," she said. "You've convinced me. I'll go along with it."

"You will?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered, "but only if Mitch ends up kissing Veronica at the end."

"What?" I asked.

"By mistake," she hastened to add. "Let's not forget who the villain is."

"I don't know," I answered. "I guess I could work that in."

Asahina looked up from her reading. She didn't look like she'd let me pull a stunt like that, and I doubted I could convince her that it was just harmless fun. I was risking a serious ass kicking with the script the way it was, but I had resolved that the romance would mostly just be teases, anyway.

This whole conversation gave me a nice foothold on the fifth act, though. I decided what needed to happen was that the villain confronts the ordinary guy and tries to convince him to keep quiet about what he knows, and he convinces her to the contrary. That was just too good to pass up. Of course, the villain wouldn't really want her story getting out. She'd be plotting something desperate to try and cover it up, and I wondered how I'd resolve that, but I was sure I'd think of something.

- x -

That weekend, I had a nice tentative finish for the story, but I hadn't really intended to do a read through. I was just going to get Suzumiya's reaction, and then rewrite the story again from scratch. I'd probably accomplish that in three days if I put in the time (which wasn't all that unusual when I was feeling the inspiration).

We had another noon date at the coffee shop, but when I went there, I only discovered Koizumi. I was hoping that Asahina would be there, and was a little surprised that Suzumiya wasn't.

"Suzumiya isn't here, yet?" I asked him.

"She'll be along," he said. "She had a little situation at home come up."

"That's weird," I remarked.

"I know," he said. "Hey, you mind if I ask something personal?"

I then sat down across from him at the table, wondering what was going on with everyone.

"No, I don't mind," I answered. "Fire away."

"You ever think about wanting to be an esper?" he offered. "I could arrange that."

I sighed and answered, "I think my life is interesting enough, as it is."

"Oh?" he said. "Well, that's too bad. Let me know if you change your mind."

"Yeah," I said. I'll get right on that.

He then asked, "What's up with Miss Asahina, lately?"

"I don't know," I replied. "I tried calling her, but she's been avoiding me."

"Have you see her place?" he asked.

"No," I answered.

"No?" he asked. "Okay. I thought for sure, if anybody..."

"She's a tough nut to crack," I remarked.

He added, "This whole situation was very surprising, when I learned about it. I still can't wrap my mind around the thought of time travel."

"Yeah."

"I mean, I feel like I've already done all this before hundreds of times, but I keep thinking that it's just deja vu."

"Sounds about right."

"Could it be that Miss Suzumiya is searching for the perfect variation? I wish I knew."

This sounded familiar. Was Koizumi of the faction that counted Suzumiya as having god-like abilities? If anyone would know, it should be an esper, but that thought just seemed horribly wrong. Actually, if anyone would know, it would be a time traveler from the future. Nothing like hindsight to tell you what the real story is. Then again, maybe Asahina was from a distant enough future that they disputed whether Suzumiya even existed. You can't really trust anyone, is what I think I'm saying here.

"You think Miss Nagato is right about her?" I asked.

"What does she think?" he asked me.

I replied, "She told me that Suzumiya can manipulate absolute data, whatever that's supposed to mean."

"That's the effect of her power," he explained.

"Oh?" I said, hoping for some clarification.

He added, "The thing I wonder is why she has this ability."

"You sounded like you had an idea," I noted.

He smiled and remarked, "More like, we espers have these crazy notions. I doubt you're really interested."

I'm not. I then asked, "So, do you really want me to become an esper?"

"I have to offer," he said with a shrug.

"Your boss's idea, huh?" I asked.

He explained, "My superiors have this idea that you can be a valuable ally. Frankly, I don't see it, but I could be wrong. Wouldn't be the first time."

Suzumiya then appeared, looking grumpy as usual.

"Oh man," she complained, "what a day. I can't catch a break."

Koizumi greeted her, "Hello, Miss Suzumiya."

"Isn't Yuki here?" she then complained.

"Ah..." he answered. "I gave her the tour of the local library, earlier. I didn't really feel like prying her away."

"Sheesh," she complained, taking out her phone.

"The library?" I asked.

He then told me, "I don't know if you've noticed, but she apparently enjoys reading. I thought for sure she had discovered the library, but it all seemed terribly new to her."

"Wow, really?" I asked, trying hard to imagine that and failing.

"Indeed," he said. "That was my reaction."

"Yuki?" Suzumiya said into her phone. "Get your ass over here. Jeez." She then put away her phone and sat with us at the table. "Where's Mikuru? Still upset?"

"About what?" Koizumi asked.

"Who knows?" she said. "Hey, Kyon...?"

"I have no idea," I answered.

"Really?" she asked. "No idea?"

Yeah. No, I had an idea, but it wasn't really suitable for this crowd. Asahina was upset about a certain suggestion, and her way of handling it was to hide at home for a while. It's a little sad, when you think about it. She freaks out about the tiniest little things.

"That's funny," Suzumiya continued. "You don't have a lot in common with her, huh?"

"Are we really promoting the club again?" I asked her.

She answered, "We're throwing in an angle for the movie. Be grateful."

"For what?" I asked.

"We might get a decent audience," she predicted.

Koizumi then asked, "You don't think she's upset about...?"

He was obviously hinting at what I was thinking, but Suzumiya looked confused.

"What?" she asked.

"Probably," I answered. "You know how she is."

"Yes," he said.

Suzumiya then smirked and asked, "Are you even holding hands, yet?"

"No," I answered.

Suzumiya laughed, and then asked, "And you've been going out with her for a month, right?"

I then offered, "I have an idea."

"Yes?" Koizumi asked.

"I think I will become an esper," I said.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied, "but just for the movie. I mean, I don't want to actually become one."

"Oh, I see," he said. "You mean, you want me to play Mitch, while you play Jones. Hmm..."

"You're switching?" Suzumiya asked.

"Why not?" I said. "Seems fine to me."

"But then," she observed, "that would make you the hero of the story."

"Right," I said. "I'd better go back and rewrite a few things."

"Whatever," she said, back to being annoyed.

"I think I've got it," I said. "Jones is actually a normal who pretends to be an esper, and Mitch is the real esper. Naturally, he pretends to be normal, so he easily sniffs out Jones, though he isn't really in a position to say anything."

"This is like a puzzle game to you, huh?" she asked.

"This gives me the ending I want," I said.

Koizumi said, "That would give you a much better ending. And you can simplify the story a bit."

"How so?" I asked.

He answered, "You can cut the whole pranking the friend to reveal the esper scene. The esper can simply explain at the end that he knew all along. And the romance should prove to be much more convincing."

"It will help the android battle scene a little," I added.

"You still have a battle?" Suzumiya asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "The android fights with her assistant."

She then suggested, "You could make that really futuristic in editing."

"Right," I said, not liking that idea. "Actually, after consulting with the drama club's advisor, we decided to just use camera angles and quick cuts to suggest the action. It's a lot less work in the editing."

"Lazy," she chided me.

I explained, "I'd like to get the editing done before the festival. What you're talking about would add about six months to the job."

She then stated, "What I'd like to do is get Mikuru in front of the camera."

"Yeah," I agreed. "You and half the school."

"Imagine the turn out for that," she said, a weird gleam in her eyes.

"Forget it," I told her. "I already tried to coax her into acting."

"Yeah?" she asked. "How did that go?"

I answered, "Even when she's into it, she can't really pull it off. She's way too stiff."

"Oh?" she said. "That's too bad."

"It isn't going to happen," I stated very firmly.

"Maybe we could just get her drunk," she offered.

"Idiot," I muttered.

"What?" she said.

Koizumi then said to her, "Miss Suzumiya, I apologize if this sounds out of line, but that is a terrible idea."

I added, "The worst thing an actor can do is get drunk."

"Really?" she asked.

"Really," I answered. "Trust me. I've seen it before, and it isn't pretty."

"Anyway," Koizumi observed, "didn't you swear you'd never drink?"

"Yeah," she replied. "So?"

Koizumi then had a look like I had never seen. It was a strange mixture of disgust, pity and amusement that left me baffled for days.

- x -

In the end, I had a twenty-five scene script, and all those scenes found their way into the shooting script. The total run time was thirty minutes, which worked out perfectly for the festival and for everyone involved, though it did mean some real work for me. It wasn't perfect, but it was close enough that I didn't feel any real regret about it. Everything hinged on the ending, actually. The ending wasn't my idea. As usual, I was simply poaching my ideas from reality. In this case, however, I was inspired by an incident that happened the following Monday afternoon, as I was sitting in front of the TV. The doorbell rang, and Asahina was there.

"Hello," I said.

"Hi," she said.

"Want to come in?" I offered.

"You don't mind?" she asked.

"Not at all," I said, and she entered.

"Sorry to intrude," she said, and it gave me a good feeling. All this traditional crap is nice every now and then.

I remarked, "You've been avoiding club, lately."

"Yeah," she said. "Were you busy?"

"No," I answered. "Just watching TV."

She then gave me a gently chiding look, like I really shouldn't neglect things.

"I know," I said. "I have bad study habits."

She then said, "I think I'll join you. Would you get us something to drink?"

"Sure thing," I said.

I then joined her in the living room with our drinks, and I gave her one.

"Orange juice?" she asked.

"You don't like it?" I wondered.

She replied, "No, it's okay. It's just unexpected."

"Sorry," I said. "It's all we have right now. Mom went out shopping just a little while ago."

"I see," she said.

This was nice. Just sitting and watching TV counts as a date in my book, anyway.

I then commented, "It's a good thing she isn't here. I think she's your biggest fan."

"Oh my," she softly complained.

"Sorry about that," I apologized.

"I don't mind a little attention," she said.

I then offered, "I've been inconsiderate, lately. You want me to take over being director for the movie?"

She answered, "No, that's okay. I just had to get a few things straight in my head."

"Like what?" I asked.

"Well..." she said, leaning toward me. That seemed like an invitation, so we kissed. Again. Okay, it had been about six years since the last time, and I didn't remember it much until this moment. "I could get used to this," she added.

"Me too," I said.

She then took a deep breath and said, "I'm not going to be jealous about what you do with Miss Suzumiya. I've decided."

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"Because I just switched roles," I informed her. "I'm playing Jones, now."

"Oh?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Oh," she said, smiling. "That's a relief."

I added, "It makes the story work a lot better."

"How did you come up with that idea?" she asked.

I replied, "It was Koizumi's idea, actually. He offered to make me an esper."

She looked at me seriously for a moment, paused in thought, then asked, "You didn't say yes, did you?"

"No," I replied. "Any particular reason I shouldn't accept?"

"You'd make a really lousy esper," she said with a very firm conviction in her tone, exotic though it was.

"I would?"

"Yes. Just trust me on that."

"Okay. I only considered it because I thought you might prefer to see me doing something interesting with my life."

"I've had enough of being interesting. I just want to be completely normal."

- Fin

- x -

- Extra

- I Wouldn't Want To Be Like You

At club. Kyon is typing at his computer as Koizumi enters.

Koizumi: Hey, Kyon. You get my version of the script?

Kyon: Yeah... What the heck was that?

Koizumi: What? It was funny, right?

Kyon: That wasn't the genre I was shooting for.

Koizumi: It wasn't comedy?

Kyon: It was, but what you wrote was wacky slapstick. I wanted subtle irony.

Koizumi: Oh. Sorry.

Kyon: Yeah. So, I can't really use any of it.

Koizumi: But it would make a good movie, right?

Kyon: Probably.

- x -

- In the Real World

Club room. Kyon is at the table with Haruhi, Mikuru, Koizumi, Yuki, and Asakura.

Asakura: If you were to attack me, you'd just be inviting the police to arrest you.

Haruhi: Why do I care what the law thinks? I just sold my soul.

Asakura: What's a soul to you, anyway?

Haruhi: That's just my point.

Asakura: Can't you think of anyone but yourself? Well... Aren't you the petty one?

Haruhi: ...

Kyon: What?

Haruhi: (bitingly sarcastic) Maybe it's just my usual cluelessness, but...

Kyon: Jeez.

Haruhi: Why am I even speaking to her if she's going to go on like that? It makes no sense.

Kyon: It moves the story along.

Haruhi: Right. Right. The story. Here's what I think of the story at this point.

Kyon: Okay, I didn't exactly visualize that out properly.

Haruhi: Oh really? No, this is the stink of contrivance. It's a long way from being visualized properly.

Kyon: How would you get into that fight sequence, then?

Haruhi: Well...

Asakura: You should have made Nagato the villain. That would have worked a lot better.

Haruhi: I agree.

Koizumi: Maybe what the villain needs is a fresh motivation to fight at this point.

Kyon: I don't know.

Asakura: That's a good idea. Okay, how about I owe her some money?

Kyon: Money?

Haruhi: Yeah, that's not bad.

Koizumi: And maybe Jones was the one who borrowed her money in the first place. That gives her more than one motivation.

Asakura: That might explain why Jones is being hounded by the press. They caught wind of this in a rumor, and they think it might explode into a scandal.

Kyon: Okay, fine. Let's improvise a bit. Anything, at this point.

Haruhi: Yeah, we are just a few lines away from the end of the fourth act.

Kyon: So, what will the villain say?

Haruhi: All right. Let's see... How about this? (in character) That's a good one, coming from someone who owes me money. How much was that?

Asakura: Not enough to put up with you. All right. If it's a fight you want, then you got one.

Haruhi: There. Don't you think that works a lot better?

Kyon: ...

Koizumi: You have to admit, it's a nice surprise.

Kyon: Yeah. Meanwhile, I'll need to insert a few lines in act five to explain about that. That is, unless you have the ability to use looks and gestures to somehow convey all that.

Koizumi: I don't think I can pull that off.

Haruhi: Oh, quit moaning. Writing it is the easy part. I could do it all in my head if you really wanted.

Kyon: No thank you.

Asakura: You should know better than to expect Kyon to hand you his story.

Haruhi: No kidding. I can't get the time of day from him.

Kyon: You're one to talk.

Haruhi: You hear about what happened at lunch?

Kyon: ...

Asakura: What was that? I never got a straight answer from anyone.

Haruhi: I encountered my future self. That was a real eye-opener, let me tell you.

Asakura: Interesting. So all this time travel stuff is for real?

Haruhi: I learned a lot about time planes. That was the interesting part.

Mikuru: ...

Haruhi: I find it hilarious that Kyon is dating a time traveler. That has to be the most interesting thing, yet.

Asakura: So, you two are dating?

Kyon: Thanks for outing us.

Koizumi: Whoa! When did this happen?

Haruhi: Right under our noses.

Koizumi: Wait. Time travel? What on Earth?

Haruhi: I know, right?

Koizumi: You realize what this means?

Kyon: Don't you already know?

Koizumi: No.

Haruhi: What's that supposed to mean?

Kyon: (to Koizumi) Don't you have psychic powers?

Koizumi: ...

Haruhi: Oh, I see.

Kyon: What?

Haruhi: This is why the older me told me to talk to you. You clearly have a lot of information that I don't.

Asakura: I didn't realize this was a den of weirdness.

Haruhi: Really?

Kyon: Everything was nice and sane until Miss Suzumiya came along.

Haruhi: You should thank me for that. Isn't life more interesting this way?

Kyon: That's as much as I know. You're on your own for anything else.

Haruhi: Well, I know that Yuki's a time traveler.

Koizumi: How do you know that?

Haruhi: She sent the older me back to her own time plane, and here she is again.

Koizumi: I see.

Haruhi: It makes me wonder...

Kyon: What?

Haruhi: Maybe she is an android.

Kyon: Maybe.

- x -

- Ignorance Is Bliss

Kyon is strolling through a park, and he encounters Yuki.

Kyon: Miss Nagato? Nice to see you.

Yuki: ...

Kyon: Were you waiting for me?

Yuki: Are you neglecting school work?

Kyon: I guess so.

Yuki: Was there anything else?

Kyon: You have a minute? I wanted to talk about Asahina.

Yuki: Okay.

At Yuki's apartment. She pours Kyon some tea.

Yuki: You're having doubts.

Kyon: Is that it?

Yuki: You understand life as a series of events that people are destined to traverse. When something threatens that destiny, you look for ways to resolve it.

Kyon: I do?

Yuki: Yes. In this case, you believe Mikuru Asahina is fated to return to the future. You doubt her data to the contrary.

Kyon: Oh, okay.

Yuki: Is that clear?

Kyon: You have a chance to read the final script?

Yuki: I have.

Kyon: What do you think?

Yuki: I did not think you would resolve the difficulties I had set before you, but you have. The interplay between the characters was surprising.

Kyon: It was all inspired by real life. I have to hand it to Miss Suzumiya. She comes up with some interesting material.

Yuki: Yes.

Kyon: I realized that if we all returned to normal at the end, it wouldn't matter whether she changes the whole world to fit the story. And by 'normal,' I mean what we already profess is true in the first place. The movie is much simpler this way, as well.

Yuki: I agree.

Kyon: ...

Yuki: It is commendable.

Kyon: As for your previous question. I don't know.

Yuki: The topic of destiny or Mikuru Asahina's attitude?

Kyon: I mean, I don't know. Does she believe in destiny?

Yuki: Yes.

Kyon: And yet, here she is.

Yuki: She believes she was fated to change your destiny. She took the first available opportunity to accomplish that.

Kyon: But the me from the previous time plane did that.

Yuki: Is that so?

Kyon: Well, I guess I don't really understand that, either.

Yuki: The variation from nine years ago is the significant one. Its effects, however, will not become evident until at least twenty years from now.

Kyon: What about the one from three years ago?

Yuki: That further deviation resulted in Haruhi Suzumiya's attendance at North High.

Kyon: Is Asahina really supposed to be competing with Suzumiya?

Yuki: I said that Haruhi Suzumiya would attempt to rival with her for your affections, and that is happening.

Kyon: No kidding?

Yuki: No kidding.

Kyon: How, exactly?

Yuki: I am not permitted to say. That would be a violation of Haruhi Suzumiya's privacy.

Kyon: Oh... Sorry.

Yuki: It's nothing.

Kyon: I'll just pretend you don't actually know, one way or the other.

- x -

- Too Close To the Sun

Kyon and Mikuru watching TV in his living room.

Kyon: You're a really good director.

Mikuru: You think so?

Kyon: Seriously.

Mikuru: I leave most of the work to Tsuruya.

Kyon: We've been getting everything in two or three shots. We may actually finish up early.

Mikuru: The shots from the second camera are really good. I think your friend has a good eye.

Kyon: Taniguchi? He's okay.

Mikuru: He tends to get in focus and composed a little quicker, too.

Kyon: Something on your mind?

Mikuru: What?

Kyon: You seem a little tense.

Mikuru: It's nothing. I just had a conversation with Miss Nagato.

Kyon: Sorry.

Mikuru: She asked a few strange questions about Koizumi.

Kyon: Really?

Mikuru: She's been wondering whether he can deliver on that kissing scene.

Kyon: I see.

Mikuru: I told her that she has nothing to worry about. I'm more worried on behalf of Miss Asakura.

Kyon: You think she might fall for him?

Mikuru: That's not exactly what I meant.

Kyon: Huh?

Mikuru: ...

- x -

- More Lost Without You

Proofreader: I take it you're a big Alan Parsons fan.

Author: What gave you that idea?

Proofreader: Just a hunch.

Author: I didn't like his work much at first, but it's really grown on me.

Proofreader: I like where we're going with this volume.

Author: I noticed you took a little longer on this outline, so I've been returning the favor.

Proofreader: I warned you this would happen.

Author: Yeah. That's why I wrote that warning in the foreword of volume four.

Proofreader: I really like what you came up with for Mikuru's motivation.

Author: I just assumed we've been headed there since volume two. What?

Proofreader: You had all that detail in mind back then?

Author: It isn't exactly detailed, but yeah. I had this idea. This was just a convenient place to try it out.

Proofreader: So, what surprises are we going to see in the next volume?

Author: I can't tell you that. That would spoil the fun.

Proofreader: Right.

Author: And anyway, I haven't thought of it, yet.

- x -


	31. Wind In the Trees

Origins of Haruhi - The Gray World

- x -

- Foreword

Over the years, it seems like I've acquired a reputation for depicting the female of this (and other) species from the point of view of a chauvinistic pig, and this may be partly true. I've also been accused of glamorizing women unfairly compared to men, so I'm not completely sure what to make of all this. All this back-talk may well have arisen from my faulty ability to assess my surroundings, or perhaps I simply am biased one way or the other. Someone please tell me which way I'm biased. I'm still trying to figure that one out.

In any case, this story illustrates some of the more (or less) glamorous aspects of women, and the way they relate to me in particular. I'm not really capable of understanding how women relate to people, but I think I don't need to worry too much whether my friends are men or women. It's all the same nonsense. For example, in this story, I spend most of my time trying to find some common ground with pretty much anyone who'll listen to me, and I still end up finding myself consorting with the weirdest of the bunch. What's frightening about this story is how natural it all seems.

Of course, I was briefed about this seventh time plane before Yuki gave me this volume, and she put particular emphasis on the fact that her boss had become despondent over something that had occurred from six years ago. She wouldn't go into detail about that incident, but she did mention that it was all my fault and that I would understand more fully after the next volume.

Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I've been going over this story a few times, and I've started to realize that this particular me was someone of much more humble means than myself. I apparently spent nearly three years living with my aunt, and we didn't actually find a new place to live until I was starting high school. Those two events (moving into a new home and moving into a new school) overlap so well that I'm a little uncertain which one came first. The three previous years were doubtlessly filled with me finding work of one type or another to support the family and help us get by in spite of everything. Or maybe I was just a lazy slob and only went to school in all that time. I'm not sure I want to know.

Aside from that, and the fact that Asakura goes to Canada, there's not a whole lot of difference between this reality and mine, at least in the early part. I've been told that the Tanabata story is quite different and that everything from that point on became much more normal. In fact, I might have easily forgotten that aliens, time travelers, and espers even existed had they not had such a dark and sinister impact on the life I was living then. It's easy to forget how quickly things can go wrong when you live in such a sheltered world as the one you and I personally live in.

- x -

- Chapter 1: Wind In the Trees

It only rains on the weekends. This is true, at least for me. I don't know why, but if there is going to be clouds and rain, it picks the most inconvenient time to happen. This one particular Saturday, for example. I had just finished moving a ton of boxes into the new home and had just started getting my desk in order when I noticed the rain begin to come down outside my window.

Mind you, I like the rain. There's something soothing about it, and I've never understood all the dark imagery that usually accompanies rain. To me, rain is a welcome guest that I look forward to seeing. I would prefer to see it on weekdays rather than weekends, but oh well. You can't always have things your way.

This particular Saturday had been busy, so there was nothing for it but to relax and unwind. I would have enough to worry about come Monday, between high school and this endless moving day that turned into a moving week and then a few moving months. I told my aunt that it would likely be another month before we finished moving, and she said that we were welcome to take our time, but I nevertheless sensed that she was starting to develop a sense of relief that we would finally be out of her house.

It can't be easy trying to accommodate others when your own schedule is busy, especially when it starts to rain (as it had been off and on for the last month or so). I wouldn't blame her if she had been irritated to have to put up with two noisy kids and a somewhat demanding sister, so I could only think pleasant thoughts when considering my aunt.

My school, on the other hand... Let's just say things had become complicated, and I'd rather not talk about it. Then again, I did have a lot to say to this girl I had met while going up the stairs at school. She was lovely and filled with such good cheer that I couldn't help but like talking to her, though we only ever spoke in hallways or on the phone (as I was suddenly finding myself doing on this particular evening).

"It's something sexual, no doubt," I said. "It always is. How else would she pester me?"

"Looked more like flirting, to me," Tsuruya answered with her usual agreeable remark that nevertheless sounded somewhat argumentative.

"You see?" I said. "It's something like that."

"You confuse sex and flirting?" she asked.

"Whatever," I replied. "She just does it to piss me off."

"She does get a rise out of you," Tsuruya then stated, making it very clear with her tone what she meant.

"Ha ha ha," I said in mockery of her obvious attempt to provoke me.

"Admit it," she insisted. "She turns you on."

What then came to mind was an image I had of the delightfully beautiful Haruhi Suzumiya. In a moment, my perverse mind took that image and combined it with the remark that she had made to me (which for various reasons, I will not repeat here).

I answered, "Haruhi couldn't turn on a guy if she found a switch."

"'Haruhi?'" Tsuruya asked, once again in her pleasantly polemic way.

"I think I've earned the right to call her that after today," I remarked.

Tsuruya then glibly replied, "I didn't realize you were so close to her. Maybe it isn't safe for me to chat with you over the phone."

I laughed and added, "It's never safe to talk about Haruhi. That reminds me."

"What?"

"I spoke with Koizumi again today."

"What did he want?"

"The usual. To talk about himself for a bit, then his strange fascination with Haruhi. He always calls her 'charming.' I've never understood that."

"'Charming?'"

"I know. She's about as charming as one of those old Lenin posters. Imagine if Lenin or Trotsky had been obsessed with aliens or espers."

"She still believes in that kind of stuff?"

Haruhi Suzumiya didn't just believe in it, she seemed to be absolutely convinced that it was true. Never mind the fact that there was no proof of that occult stuff lying around, and I had always been convinced that the occult world was just a silly myth.

I sighed deeply and muttered, "Yeah, I've never seen anything like it."

"What are you going to do?" Tsuruya then asked, somewhat uncharacteristically.

"I don't know," I answered.

Just then, my little sister appeared at the door, all dressed for bed. Her usual habit was to stay up late and then blame me when she got in trouble, so this struck me a little odd.

"Kyon," she said. "Mom said you need to get off the phone and go to bed."

"Go to bed?" I asked, looking out the window. "It's still daytime."

"It's almost ten o'clock," she retorted.

"You've gotta be kidding me," I said, looking at my clock and confirming it.

"Your sister?" Tsuruya asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "I've gotta keep it down. My mother had something come up for tomorrow morning."

Sister then left, apparently satisfied that she had delivered her message.

"You just moved, right?" Tsuruya asked.

I answered, "I don't want to get on her bad side again, so..."

"Right," she said. "I'll call you later."

"Later."

- x -

The above conversation had reminded me that time often goes by rather quickly. In a very short time, I had entered high school and had met a number of people. Among them: Tsuruya, Suzumiya, and Koizumi. Koizumi is just some guy I bump into every now and then in the halls, Suzumiya sits behind me in class, and Tsuruya likes to talk and talk and talk. It's quite an improvement from my middle school years, but it's still a lot of adjustment, especially when you combine that with suddenly living in a proper house just as if I were in a normal family.

You might get the impression that "Kyon" is something only my little sister calls me, but this appellation has apparently become popular at my school, as well. It has somehow spread like an incurable disease, in fact, to the extent that I don't even care anymore whether anyone calls me by my real name. And since that's the case, I've decided to be pouty and make you put up with this name for me, as well.

I should mention that my mother had gotten remarried about a year ago, though she'd had to endure living apart from her husband until we could make this move. We couldn't all live in his apartment, and my aunt wasn't about to try and shove a couple adults into one bedroom (along with the two kids). I was still getting used to having my own room, and though I had a lot more privacy, it wasn't quite as private as I had been hoping.

Later that night, I went to the table behind the sectional in the living room with a glass of water in my hand and pondered on this mysterious need for privacy. Somehow, when you have privacy, it makes you want to seek out company, but when things get crowded, that makes you want privacy. Good fences make good neighbors and all that, but to a certain degree. I wondered what that degree was, as I noticed the rain starting up again outside the window.

"Again?" I asked myself.

I stubbornly refused to respond to myself, though I did lift an eyebrow in response to this inquiry of mine, noting with displeasure the implication that I was somehow responsible for the rain. Just then, I noticed something moving in my peripheral vision, and took a start at what I saw: an incredibly beautiful older woman.

(I guess it's a little unfair to call her "older." That implies that she was old, which she was not. She was maybe thirty-five. Possibly forty. I wouldn't say old as much as maybe middle-aged. You have to understand that when you're young, you tend to view people as either brats or ancient. Especially teenagers. Teenagers tend to err on the side of less caution, and that includes making assumptions about how old people are, but I'm seriously digressing here.)

I was so startled that I nearly dropped my water. I steadied my hand and looked back at the face of this woman. She was definitely middle-aged, and I doubted she had obtained permission to enter the house though I had seen a lot of strange people come and go from this house over the past month or so. The expression on this woman's face went from curious amusement to a suddenly familiar and oddly concerned expression, like she suddenly noticed that a pet was about to knock something off a table.

"Whoa!" I said, not quite able to stop myself.

"Don't panic," she said. "I'm not going to hurt you."

This was such a cliched way to calm someone down that I was almost convinced that she was a crazy kidnapper. Her soft voice and delicate way of gesturing a stopping motion with her hands convinced me otherwise.

"Where did you come from?" I asked. "How did you get in here?"

"I've been in here the whole time," she casually remarked, almost smirking.

"Jeez," I said. "You're going to wake up my mother."

"I hope not," the woman added. "Your mother likes me too much."

The soft and utterly convincing tone the woman used was very disarming, and I have to admit that I was having trouble picturing her as anything other than what she seemed to be: a kindly woman who somehow knew way too much about me and my family.

"Could I ask you something?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think so," I said, suddenly not sure about anything.

"You think so?" the woman softly said.

My sanity finally took hold, and I then asked myself, "This is a dream, right?"

I took a moment to pinch myself, and (cliche or not) it really hurt. Nothing like a little pain to tell you what's real and what isn't.

"I'm no dream," the woman added, and I was suddenly struck by the authority in her voice. She could have probably told me that Santa Claus was real and I'd have believed it. The woman then continued, "Let me ask you: do you know what Koizumi is?"

"Koizumi?" I said, baffled at how that guy could be relevant to this conversation.

"Yes," she answered. "Tell me the truth."

"Okay," I said, "but first tell me who you are."

"My name is Mikuru Asahina," she said, and that name struck me as the most fake name I'd ever heard, though she still sounded very convincing. "Do you really not know me?"

"Sorry," I answered. "I've never met you."

I then took a moment to reflect on this strange woman, wondering for a moment where this was all leading.

"Okay," she said after a few moments. "So..."

"Oh, right," I answered. "Yeah, I know what Koizumi is. He's a weirdo."

"And?"

"And... He has some kind of weird powers of illusion. He showed me."

"About a month ago, right?"

"Yeah," I said, not really thinking. Well, it was more like a week ago. It felt like a month ago, though.

"He's an esper," Asahina added.

"He's a really crappy one, but sure," I added. "Why do you ask?"

She smoothly answered, "Just making sure I'm in the right time plane. I wouldn't want to mess things up."

I was suddenly in the grip of an amusing state of mind. Half of mind wanted to shout at her: Yeah right! Am I really supposed to be that stupid? and the other half of my mind was in more complete agreement with her than anything I'd known in my life.

"You see," she explained, "I'm a time traveler."

"Okay," I said.

She continued, "And things got a little messed up. I just want to make sure that doesn't happen again."

"Okay," I said.

She continued, "The me you might encounter at school isn't the same as I am, and she isn't exactly the same me that may appear in this world. I think."

"Okay," I said.

"Are you really getting all this?" she asked, her soft question somehow waking me from this weird trance I had felt come over me.

"I think you blew my mind at 'time traveler,'" I replied. "I'm just agreeing to be polite."

She sighed and said to herself, "I should have known this would happen."

I then grimaced and snapped, "What do you want, really?"

She then looked very hurt, but just very kindly responded, "I want it all to go back to the way it was. I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked, not really expecting an answer, but then not really getting one.

- x -

And then I was suddenly in class, having lunch with Taniguchi and Kunikida. I probed my mind for what had happened, but my mind just seemed to gently assure me that whatever happened in the interval wasn't really anything important. Or if it was, then it was really someone else's problem. Nothing to see here. Move along.

I was so caught up in this brief mental tug-of-war with myself that I almost failed to notice Kunikida talking about Haruhi. There was some rumor going around that Haruhi had gotten in a fight with the computer club president.

"She did?" I asked, just to not get left out of the conversation.

"Yeah," Kunikida answered.

"Okay," I remarked, "that's weird."

This was always something safe to say about Haruhi, especially during lunch. Haruhi never failed to go exploring during lunch period, looking for time travelers or whatever.

Kunikida then asked, "You remember when she suddenly had that haircut?"

"Yeah," I answered.

He stated, "I asked what that was about, and she suddenly said she had an idea. Then I learned she started a club or something like that."

"A club?" I asked.

"She called it the 'SOS Brigade,'" he answered. "It's something weird, though. And it's all about looking for aliens or whatever."

Typical. "She doesn't expect anyone to join, does she?" I asked.

He answered, "I wouldn't join, that's for sure."

Taniguchi then asked me, "Doesn't that friend of yours keep going on about you joining a club?"

"Which friend?" I asked.

He replied, "That guy you were talking to at the library the other day."

"Oh," I said. "Koizumi? I don't know. He does keep mentioning some vague activities he's involved with. I'm not too sure..."

"What?" Kunikida asked.

Taniguchi explained, "Once bitten, twice shy."

"Should I even ask?" Kunikida added.

Taniguchi answered, "Koizumi is this weirdo magician, apparently."

"Yeah," I said. "I'm a little hesitant to get involved in anything else he has up his sleeve."

Kunikida then suggested, "Maybe you should introduce him to Suzumiya."

I then sighed, thinking that Kunikida isn't normally this far out of the loop. Koizumi already knew Suzumiya, and that was rather notorious. Taniguchi merely smirked, then suddenly frowned, looking around. He then said, "You know..."

"What?" I asked.

Kunikida answered, "She has been mysteriously disappearing, lately."

"Who?" I asked, thinking briefly that they were referring to Haruhi, but then there was nothing mysterious about her disappearances.

"Who else?" Kunikida said. "Asakura."

"Huh?" I said, struggling for a moment to connect that name to a face. "Oh... Yeah, that is weird."

Kunikida then added, "I heard a rumor that Suzumiya and Asakura have been getting friendly."

"No way," Taniguchi said. "Really?"

"I definitely heard the rumor," Kunikida answered. "I have no idea if it's true."

Taniguchi then remarked, "Well, if anyone could..."

- x -

In case you haven't figured it out, Kunikida is someone I know. It's pretty normal for us to have lunch together. In fact, I've known Kunikida since middle school, so it's no big deal. Taniguchi, on the other hand, is just this jerk who thinks he knows Haruhi and sits near me. No one else wants to put up with him during lunch and I don't have the nerve to tell him no.

Taniguchi does tend to stay in the know on most of the rumors and such that go around. He even somehow found out about Koizumi's magic act, and I found that a little disturbing, though it wasn't too surprising. What was really disturbing was when I remembered that midterm research projects were going to be due soon, and I'd foolishly left most of that work in the hands of Haruhi.

It's true that Haruhi tends to be finished with assignments and such a lot quicker than me, but that doesn't mean I can just blindly trust her to do it. It was important. I soon finished my lunch and went looking for her. Sure enough, I saw her lying around under a tree, just outside the building.

"Hey!" I said, walking over to the shade near where she was sitting.

She looked up at me with an odd expression on her face. I hadn't recalled her ever being that deep or introspective. I was momentarily unsettled by this ponderous expression.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked, suddenly remembering why I was here.

"Nothing," she answered. "What? I can't just stop and think for a minute?"

"Did you do that assignment we got?" I asked.

"That economics assignment?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "That one."

"Oh," she said. She then took a long breath and added, "I forgot."

"Sheesh," I said, more irritated at this unexpected behavior from her than from the fact that she hadn't finished.

She added, "I think I started to lose interest when they mentioned the advent of 'Burgernomics.' That's just some weird historical thing."

"You mean the 'Big Mac Index?'" I asked, starting to wonder if I really shouldn't have just done it myself.

"Whatever," she snarled. "Like I should care whether they have fifty or sixty percent 'purchasing power' in Honduras as opposed to Japan."

"Even if your buyer is someone who lives in Honduras?" I asked.

"Buyer of what?" she asked.

"How much money do you have?" I wondered.

"None of your business," she snapped. "Anyway, I'll have that assignment finished before the due date is up, so don't get twitchy."

This is more like it. I actually like Haruhi a little bit. In particular if I can get under her skin, it makes her kind of cute. She was strangely eager to help me out last week, but she ended up not really doing much of anything helpful. But then... that's pretty typical, too.

"You should thank your mother," she added.

"For what?" I asked.

"For getting your assignments foisted onto me," she replied.

"I'm not the one who bailed on moving boxes," I remarked.

She then complained, "Your mother has a lot of damn boxes. Seriously."

"No need to tell me," I commented.

"Jeez," she said, obviously remembering that truckload again.

"Who do you think moved them all?" I asked her.

"You couldn't get Koizumi to help?" she asked.

"He helped, but..."

"What?"

"Well, you know what he's like."

"Not particularly."

"He's a little too helpful, if you know what I mean."

"No."

What I meant is that he's a little demanding and somewhat aggressive about making sure every detail is done properly. That gets pretty damn annoying after an hour or so, but I guess someone as thickheaded as Haruhi wouldn't necessarily pick up on something subtle like that. Then again...

"Anyway..." I said, clearing my mind of that thought. "I also cleaned, adjusted furniture, positioned and configured the appliances..."

"Configured?" she asked.

"I set all the clocks," I explained.

She remarked, "Even the toasters have clocks on them, these days."

"We don't have a toaster at my house," I smoothly added.

"Really?" she asked.

Yes, really. Not everyone needs a toaster, although we could probably use one, now that I thought about it. A toaster would really put a nice finishing touch on the house. Really declare to all the world, 'This is the house of someone middle-class, damn it!'

"I also did all the landscaping," I said, which is a small boast really when you think about how big the yard is, but was nevertheless an exhausting job that took several hours.

"Oh..." she said, finally looking up at me with some interest. "Is that where you got that big scratch on your arm?"

"This?" I asked, pointing at a scratch on the inside of my right arm. "No, this is a cat scratch."

For those of you readers who are reading this story for the second time: Yes, it is a cat scratch and nothing else. Don't read too much into little things like this.

"You have a cat?" she then asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

"I wish I could have a cat," she said, leaning back against the tree and folding her arms with that super cute pouty look on her face.

"Your parents won't let you have one?" I asked.

"My mother's allergic," she smoothly explained.

"Oh."

"It sucks."

"Guess who had the chore of washing the cat?"

"You should be grateful. I'd love to have a cat."

- x -

Thinking seriously about the move and all the work involved here recently, I began to formulate this theory: You see, the real reason I couldn't remember anything was because of how exhausted I was. I'd just gotten through doing a lot of work, and that kind of exhaustion just shuts the body down, so no surprise my mind shut down, too. Yeah. That sounds about right.

That weird encounter with some mystery woman: that was just the work of my overtaxed imagination. I mean, really. How could there really be a beautiful time traveler named Mikuru Asahina? That thought alone was preposterous. And even if I were to accept that as somehow a given, why on Earth would she choose to travel through time with me? I mean, surely there were at least six billion others she could have chosen. And even if she had to choose me, why now? None of it made any sense, but then why was I the one who was forced to wash the cat? Hello? Anybody out there want to explain all this to me?

I think these slight irritations had started to become evident, because Koizumi was in an especially good mood, and he gave me a nice-sounding speech on the advantages of attending clubs with others. It all sounded good until I realized that I would probably end up attending a club with him in it. Even so, that had to be better than spinning my mental wheels on the weirdness of my own life. So, at the last moment, and really against my own better judgment, I decided just to check out this club he kept insisting I should visit.

When I entered, I suddenly felt as though I had made a huge mistake. I had never joined a club in my life, and yet here I was. The club room was pretty ordinary, almost strangely so (one might say deceptively so). At the end of the ordinary table was Koizumi, looking very surprised to see me.

"Hello," I said.

"Oh, hi!" he said. "Didn't expect you to drop by."

"You only just got through inviting me," I mentioned.

"I know," he smoothly complained. "For like the tenth time."

I then looked around at all the books, assured that this was some kind of literary club. I hadn't noticed anything weird on the way in, so I just assumed that this was some sort of book club or maybe a special studies club. Seeing both Ryoko Asakura and some girl who looked extremely beautiful (though oddly familiar) suddenly made me question this assumption.

"Hey," said Ryoko Asakura.

"Oh!" I said. "Did I stumble into a modeling club?"

"Hello," said the beautiful girl, and her voice stunned me into recognition. "Nice to meet you."

"Mikuru Asahina?" I asked, a little amazed I could form the words.

For a moment, she looked just as stunned as I felt, but then she said, "Yes, that's my name. How did you know?"

"Haven't we met before?" I asked. "I'm positive I know you from somewhere." Somewhere. Yes. That's good. I couldn't handle that other thought. I must have extrapolated her into my imaginary world from some other chance encounter.

"I don't think so..." she said, looking around and seeming a little nervous. She then mercifully added, "Well, maybe we have met. I can't say for sure."

Someone from behind the computer then told me, "Give her a break, Kyon. She doesn't have your messed up inability to remember anything straight."

For a moment, I was sure that voice was Haruhi's, but my mind reeled at the thought. Haruhi? Why in the world would she be in any kind of literary club? Of all the weird thoughts, lately, that one was by far the most weird.

"Well, welcome," Koizumi said, warmly greeting me. "I'm glad you could drop by."

"Haruhi?" I asked, looking around the computer and confirming my fears. "What on Earth?"

"What?" she said.

"You're in this club, too?" I asked, very astonished.

"In this club?" she said, sneering. "I made this club! I'm the club president, for heaven's sake. Don't tell me you didn't know that."

"I had no idea," I admitted, very stunned by all this.

"I apologize," Koizumi said, looking sincerely remorseful. "I really should have mentioned this."

"Should you have?" I asked.

He added, "I didn't realize you would take an interest, but I guess I didn't realize that you would know about... Well..."

"The fact that your club's president is a shameless perv?" I said, still disgusted with her about the previous Saturday.

"Huh?" he said.

Asakura then told me, "Don't be silly, Kyon. Miss Suzumiya is our endearing, fearless leader."

I should mention that Asakura (aside from being a stunningly beautiful girl) is the class president in my class and by far the most charming girl I've ever met. Her charm, however, makes me feel uneasy, and I get the feeling I should be very careful not to get too close to her. Nevertheless, the super nice way she has of speaking to you is enough to melt your socks right off your feet. Seriously.

"Shameless?" Haruhi protested, looking a little annoyed. "Since when have I done anything remotely shameless?"

"Oh, I don't know," I answered. "Maybe it was the undressing in front of everyone that had me confused."

"What?" she said. "When did I do that?"

"Just last week," I answered. It's true, too. My home room became one of the rooms the girls would get changed in for gym class, and Haruhi wouldn't always wait for the boys to leave, but she would sometimes just start stripping right away. Now that I think about it, she probably was completely oblivious for some weird reason. It probably isn't important.

"I don't remember doing any such thing," she insisted.

"And you call my memory messed up," I softly complained.

"Anyway," Haruhi added, "only a perv would take special notice of someone undressing."

"Should I even mention what you called me just a few days ago?" I asked, daring her to call me out on that one.

"Look..." she started, when she got interrupted.

"Kyon," Miss Asakura said, "would you help me out?"

"Huh?" I said, noticing her looking a little frantic but every bit as charming. "Oh, sure. What is it?"

"It's a little chore I need some help with," she answered.

"I don't mind," I said, thankful to be delivered from Haruhi's splenetic rejoinders.

"Okay," she acknowledged, apparently satisfied with just my good intentions.

"So," I asked, "what is it?"

"No, that's fine," she hastened to add. "It's a little thing that'll take some time to explain. It can wait for after club. I'm sure Miss Suzumiya has more important things for us to do."

"Thank you," Haruhi said. "Yes."

"Indeed," Koizumi added, looking as if he were sage and thoughtful.

"As I'm sure you all are aware," Haruhi began, "we have Tanabata coming up..."

"Tanabata?" I asked, wondering what that had to do with anything.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten what Tanabata is," Haruhi said, looking a little disgusted.

"I know what it is," I said darkly. "I just don't see the significance."

Haruhi sighed and said, "The significance is the date itself. Tanabata. July seventh."

"Or August whatever," I softly amended. "Depending on where you live."

She then explained, "The point of the holiday is that you make a wish for your future. The wish is what's really important. I'm giving you a week's notice to think of something."

"Interesting," I said, wondering how that would go down, but making it clear that this was an aloof consideration.

"You're doing this too, Kyon," she said, somehow picking up on what I was thinking.

"Me?" I said. "Why?"

"Because you're here," she said, as if that was an answer.

"No," I swiftly countered. "I'm only visiting. I'm not going to be hanging out with you over Tanabata."

"Why not?" she protested.

"Yeah, Kyon," Asahina added. "Why not?"

Whenever Haruhi said crazy things, it was easy for me to dismiss them, but here was someone who could have made me take anything seriously. I then suddenly wondered why she was in this club, but then Haruhi decided to end this discussion.

Haruhi got up from her chair and said, "Face it, Kyon. It's destiny that you're here. And now that you're here, we finally have five members. And just in time for July. It's perfect. Now, we can have a real brigade to celebrate our Tanabata."

"Great," I muttered. "I'm officially a fifth wheel, now?"

"You'll be here if I have to drag you here," she muttered.

"You might have to, actually," I said. "After that move..."

"What?" she asked. "A few boxes, and you're worn out? What kind of wimp are you, anyway?"

"I am a wimp," I conceded. "It's true."

"It's just for a half an hour," Koizumi added. "An hour, tops."

Something about the way he said that seemed threatening, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. My rational mind told me to just stop behaving like a child and go along with it.

Haruhi then smiled and plainly stated, "You should be proud to become a member of the SOS Brigade. Not everyone has that opportunity."

I almost burst out laughing, but I just softly inquired, "So, all those fliers you handed out...?"

She grimaced and added, "I'm just asking you to think of a wish. And I'm giving you a week to consider it. Don't tell me you're such a big wimp that you can't even do that."

I shot back, "Maybe I'd like to be in a club where they don't call me a wimp all the time."

"That's fine," she said, looking smug again. "You can do whatever you want, but it's not like you were doing anything, anyway."

"I do have nothing better to do," I said, again conceding defeat.

"That's the spirit," she said cheerfully, then sat behind the computer again.

Since I was now a member of the club, I decided to sit at the table across from Miss Asahina. She smiled, though she still looked a little nervous.

Haruhi then added, "The thing I don't want to see is some lame wishes for world peace or whatever. Nothing cliche. Think big, though. That's all."

As Haruhi began moving the mouse around at the computer, I looked up at Koizumi (who was still standing through all this), and he just weakly smiled while shrugging at me. For a moment, I had a sincere appreciation for his position, but then I discarded it from my mind and turned my attention to Asakura.

"Miss Asakura," I said, "I'm wondering something."

"What is it?" she asked.

I asked her, "How did you get roped into joining this club?"

"I joined of my own free will," she said, and this sounded a little rehearsed.

"Really?" I asked, not even slightly convinced.

"Really," she answered. "I just love Miss Suzumiya's unwavering enthusiasm."

For a moment, I wasn't sure whether she was being sarcastic, and even Haruhi looked around at her.

Asakura hastened to add, "No! Really!"

- x -

"Not really," Asakura answered, looking as grim as I'd ever seen her.

As we were walking down a sidewalk to her apartment, I began to see in her this weird kind of anticipation. It really made me think twice about what I was doing with her, but she seemed incredibly harmless. Some voice in the back of my head kept berating me for being a fool, but I just mentally shoved it back down.

"So, why'd you join?" I asked.

"Quid pro quo," she answered, once again in her delightfully casual way. "You know? Scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. That sort of thing. Anyway..."

"What?" I asked, stopping and turning as I noticed her stopping.

"Here we are!" she announced, and I finally noticed the nice apartment building we were standing near.

- x -

We went up to her apartment on the fifth floor, and I was still adjusting my eyes from having gone inside the elevator to going outside on a kind of balcony to back inside an apartment again.

She hastily commented, "I'll do you a favor and not ask about the whole moving ordeal."

"Okay," I said.

"The only thing I ask in return is that you not..." she started.

"What's up with all the...?" I couldn't help but ask, once my eyes adjusted.

"...ask about the fast food containers," she finished. "Yeah, okay. So, you noticed. Look, they aren't mine."

"So, who...?" I started to ask.

"I have this neighbor," she quickly explained. "Yuki Nagato. She's a real sucker for fast food."

"What?" I asked. "Is she fat?"

"No," Asakura answered, sounding a little surprised. "She just loves fast food."

"And you never clean up?" I asked.

She sighed deeply and answered, "I will. Give me a minute."

She then went and did something amazing. She sat down on the sofa in exactly the same position that I nearly always use.

"I know exactly what you mean," I said. I gestured toward the sofa and asked, "You mind if I...?"

"Go right ahead," she said.

"Thanks," I said, lounging next to her. This may sound strange, but there was nothing remotely intimate or familiar about my having done this. It just seemed like the most natural thing in the world, and it seemed to me that we had both become immovable objects. This was what we were. Our identity. It was weird that I could sympathize this way with someone.

"Right," I added. "Cleaning can wait till tomorrow. What's on TV?"


	32. Echo

- Chapter 2: Echo

I tend to overreact a lot to little things. For example, when I had encountered Ryoko Asakura's oddly casual way of relating to me on the walk up to her apartment, that had triggered a warning signal in the back of my mind. I was expecting something really terrible to happen, but I actually had had nothing to worry about, as it turned out. Ryoko Asakura is just a really nice girl with an unfortunate lifestyle.

To be completely honest, I hadn't really noticed all the food containers first, upon entering her apartment. My first reaction had been to all the dolls and stuffed animals she had populating her shelves. That had hit me like the kind of shock you get when you first enter an otaku's room. In this case, Asakura turned out to be a toy otaku, and that seemed like a really cool thing. But then, I suddenly noticed all the trash, and well...

She hadn't even been upset by my reaction, and that was totally cool, too. I just began to wonder whether my being here was disturbing all the coolness of the place, but then she would smile in a way that made it clear somehow that even that wasn't a problem. That's just how incredibly cool she is. I think part of it came from the fact that she was planning to leave it all behind, but at least some of it must have come from this sense that she could smile and casually blow off just about anything.

The most obvious and natural thing to want to do in this situation is lay around watching TV, and that's exactly what happened. It was fun. I wasn't quite sure exactly what it was, when I first noticed my phone begin ringing. (Having a cell phone to begin with was a bit of a new experience for me, though my mother insisted that I keep one. It seemed to me to be a bit like having a leash in my pocket that my mother could yank on to make me go home.) Once I realized what it was, I took it out, reflexively noticing that it was Tsuruya calling me again.

"Hey! What's up?" I answered.

"What happened?" she immediately asked, a strange concern in her tone.

"What do you mean?" I asked, suddenly getting a slight jolt of worry.

She replied, "I asked you if you wanted to meet up on Sunday, and you said okay. I go to the coffee shop, and there's no one there. What's up with that?"

"Back up a bit," I said.

"What?" she said.

"You asked if I could meet you on Sunday?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"So..." I said, struggling to comprehend this. "Why didn't you call me then?"

"I did," she insisted, "but you weren't answering. I called seven times."

I looked at my phone and quickly glanced through the call log. "Wow, you... You actually called me eighteen times. Weird. I don't remember it."

"You don't remember?"

"I mean... It's a little weird. I just... I don't remember doing anything that day."

I took a moment to think about this. Tsuruya had asked to meet me on Sunday? I didn't remember any such thing happening. Then again, I suddenly couldn't remember anything. My mind had somehow filled in that blank space with some kind of average Sunday (a weird mish-mash of Sundays at my aunt's and Sundays at the new place).

I could hear Tsuruya sigh and then suggest, "Maybe you should get a check up. I've heard about this kind of thing."

"What?" I asked.

She answered, "You must be getting a brain tumor or something."

I laughed and casually stated, "I don't think so."

Asakura then asked me, "Who are you talking to?"

"It's Tsuruya," I told her.

"Who?" she asked.

I held up the phone again and said to Tsuruya, "Sorry, I'm at a friend's house."

"I was wondering..." she admitted.

I then explained to her, "Look. I've had these type of episodes all my life. It's nothing serious. I just... I have this condition that makes me less energetic at times than I should be. I'm certainly not at the level of energy you're used to."

"You are a lazy slob," she agreed. "That's true. Okay."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'll make it up to you sometime."

"Really?" she asked.

"If I'm lying," I said, "I'll answer to my friend here. She'll make me pay if I break my promise."

"She?" Tsuruya asked. "Whose house are you at?"

I didn't feel like answering that, so I just hung up.

"What a spaz," I complained.

"Tsuruya?" she said.

"Yeah," I answered. "But she's really nice."

"Oh," Asakura said.

"She really does mean well," I added.

My phone started ringing again, and I didn't really feel like figuring out the screen calls mode, so I just switched it off.

"She's just a little..." I explained.

"I see," Asakura said. "Yeah. I'm a little that way, myself."

"Really?" I asked, trying to picture her as the chatty, easily-depressed type.

"Oh!" she said. "What am I doing? I need to get started."

She then started to get up.

"On what?" I asked.

"I should be making dinner," she explained.

"Oh, okay," I said. I was then about to mention how I hadn't been notified of what favor Asakura was going to ask of me and that I really should be headed home or at least inform my mother of what I was doing if not. "Hey?" I asked.

"You stay," she answered.

"Okay," I said, going back to watching TV.

- x -

While Asakura was busy burning herself and banging pots, I got on the phone and informed my mother of my absence, then went straight back to watching TV. In what seemed like no time at all, Asakura had finished. She came strolling into the room with one big pot in her hands, and casually brandished it at me.

"Tada!" she said.

"Nice," I remarked.

"Okay," she said, becoming more serious, "let's go."

"Where to?" I asked.

"Seven-oh-eight."

"That's...?"

"The apartment where my neighbor lives. You know? Nagato."

"Oh. You mean, in this building. Right."

- x -

As we approached Nagato's apartment, I began to notice how there seemed to be springs in Asakura's feet, to judge by the way she kept bouncing in excitement.

"Why are you so excited?" I finally asked.

"I can't help it," she said. "Just the thought. It makes me all tingly."

"Okay," I muttered. "I won't ask."

She giggled and softly chided, "Silly boy. You'll find out soon enough."

- x -

Asakura went on ahead of me, as I met Yuki Nagato at her door. I was at once struck by how android-like she seemed.

"Hello," she said.

"Hi," I said, thinking she looked familiar. "Say, have we met before?"

"Yes," she answered.

"Right," I said, suddenly thinking of an incident back in May. "You're that girl from the library. I thought you looked familiar."

"Yes," she said.

"So, this is where you live?" I asked.

"That's right," she answered. "Please, enter."

"All right," I said, taking a moment to wince at the sight of so many video games.

- x -

Before I describe her apartment, I should really mention something of how I had met Miss Nagato. I had been prowling around in the library, looking for some good comic books, and I had quite innocently noticed this short, bespectacled girl looking a little lost and out-of-place. I can't just leave things like that alone, so I offered to help her find a book, and that was that.

(Shortly after that, I had noticed Miss Tsuruya (who I had briefly bumped into going upstairs at school) and we had started a long discussion that she didn't consider finished yet, but maybe I'm getting a little off-track again.)

In any case, here was Nagato: in her native habitat. Let me hasten to add that her apartment was very neat. She had shelves for all her games, and her games were all arranged alphabetically (by romanization, no less) in shelves that conveniently had sliding doors and fit the game packaging by size extremely well. There was no hint that she had mistreated her own place as she had evidently done to Asakura's. There was also a game being played continuously at the TV in the corner of her room (in some kind of demo mode). The curtains for the windows seemed a little garish but adequate for the purpose, and the furniture was all somewhat classical though oddly inviting in appearance.

I sifted through all this information in my mind a few times while eating in order to try and get a better handle on what this Yuki Nagato character was like, since she wasn't giving away any hints in the expressions on her face or in the tone of her voice. In fact, her expressions didn't vary much between mild curiosity and mild disinterest, and the tone in her voice never varied at all.

"Okay," Asakura said, promptly finishing her dinner shortly after Nagato, "so I've finished my end of the bargain."

"Okay," Nagato said.

"So, this means I'm clear to go?" Asakura then asked.

"You may go, yes," Nagato answered.

Asakura grinned and softly said, "Oh boy! Finally!"

"But first," Nagato added, "you need to fulfill your data obligations."

"Say what?" I asked, looking up from my half-finished dinner.

"Oh, right," Asakura told herself. "Right."

"What's this about obligations?" I asked.

Asakura then asked me, "You understand that this is where Miss Nagato resides, right?"

"Right," I said, thinking that that had been pretty obvious.

"Well..." Asakura said, looking a little uncertain. "I guess I should break the news. I'm going to Canada!"

"Where?" I asked, not quite sure I'd heard her right.

She added, "Specifically, I'm moving to Vancouver."

"I see," I said. "This is what you're excited about, huh?"

"Bingo," she answered.

I remarked, "I like that feeling you get just before a move. It's nice, huh?"

She answered, "I've been waiting a long time for this."

Nagato added, "It's true."

"So...?" Asakura asked her.

She replied, "Yes, that is all."

Asakura then got up and took her pot. "Well," she said, "I guess this is goodbye."

"You're really moving?" I asked.

"Absolutely," she answered.

"It was nice meeting you," I said. "Sorry we didn't get to know each other better."

"Oh!" she said. "That's so touching. Thank you."

"You're welcome," I told her.

"Goodbye," she said. "I think I'll miss you, too."

She then left, leaving me to ponder about all that uncertainty she kept expressing, and why she was even asking Nagato for permission.

"Well..." I said to her, wondering where to begin.

It was all a huge jumble, too. Why was I here? How did those two know each other? What was Asakura planning to do in Canada? How did Nagato come to live in an apartment? What was Nagato planning to do tomorrow or the day after that? What was Nagato expecting from me? How did I end up involved in all this?

I cleared my thoughts for a moment and then just said the first thing that came to mind, "So, what's up with all the games?"

- x -

By way of an answer, Nagato offered to let me play a game. I checked out her collection and settled on a cool platform game I'd been wanting to play for years. That game turned out to be a lot harder than I expected, and Nagato seemed to be getting bored with waiting for me to give up, so I offered to switch to something we could both play. A fighting game seemed like the way to go until we actually began playing.

I liked the fact that the game didn't take itself too seriously, and I especially enjoyed the fact that Nagato was proficient in making the fighter she controlled win by the most entertaining and unlikely combo moves. Even so, it started to get on my nerves that she wasn't just beating me every time, but beating me in a way that made it outstandingly clear that my hope of ever winning was as close to zero as anything in life could be.

"These things quickly turn into..." I said, thinking that my pride was starting to physically hurt from all the bruising it was taking.

I looked and I noticed that Nagato had looked down and was carefully avoiding eye-contact.

"Yeah..." I said, confirming what I was thinking. She was clearly enjoying this more than she really wanted. "Maybe we should quit while we're ahead on this."

I expected her to say something, but there was just nothing. I looked closely at her face, and at first, I couldn't see anything in the way of expression. She just seemed completely blank, but then I think I saw a faint suggestion of a smile. I wondered for a moment whether I'd seen it or only imagined it, and thinking of people smiling inevitably dragged me back around to thinking about Asakura.

"How do you know Asakura?" I asked.

"We've been neighbors for three years," Nagato answered.

"Oh," I said.

Nagato then added, "She also helped me during my operation."

"Should I ask?" I asked, wondering if I should have even asked this. I'm usually annoyed whenever someone asks me for permission to ask a question, so this is me being a little hypocritical here.

She nevertheless admitted, "I recently underwent brain surgery."

"Okay," I said.

She then added, "I had an experimental implant and gene therapy."

"That sounds uncomfortable," I remarked.

"It was," she said, distinctly frowning. I got the impression that it wasn't a happy memory for her, and she would have preferred avoiding the whole thing.

"So," I said, "what kind of ailment did you have?"

"A rare genetic defect," she replied. "It's similar to autism, but not as serious."

"So..." I said, trying to figure out what it was. "It was like Asperger syndrome?"

"No," she answered, sounding very certain of herself.

I hesitated to think that it might be something like savant syndrome, and I began to wonder if that was even anything like what she was describing.

"I had difficulty reading," she added, "for example."

"I see," I said, though I obviously had no idea what she was talking about.

Her expression softened and she softly stated, "I never thanked you for helping me."

"It was nothing," I said, almost by reflex.

"Okay," she said.

As I sat there wondering if she really could emote or make any kind of meaningful expression, she surprised me by smiling just a little bit.

"Thanks," she added.

"You interested in joining a club?" I offered.

Her severe expression then returned, and I got the feeling that this was her version of being really irritated.

"Maybe I'm asking the wrong person," I admitted.

- x -

Though we had just had dinner, I found myself craving something in the way of a snack, so Nagato suggested we go to a beef bowl shop. I'm not normally one for eating this kind of stuff, but I understood that Nagato was allegedly fond of this type of thing. I wanted to see how she would react, but then I remembered my financial situation. I warned her that I wouldn't be able to pay, but she casually dismissed that concern.

As I sat with her in the shop, I watched in amazement as she devoured her food. I had always been a quick eater in my youth, but I had never seen anyone eat this fast. I worried for a moment that she might choke, but she deftly handled it all with the skill of a food-eating contest champion.

"You like beef bowl?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"I'm really impressed with how quickly you downed that," I admitted.

There was a strange look on her face, like she suddenly seemed confused and out-of-place by that remark. It was an odd reaction, but then it reminded me of when I'd met her.

"You like books?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"What kind of books?"

"All of them."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"You didn't have a lot of books at your house."

"I can't afford them."

"But you have all those video games."

"Yes."

I had the feeling that something was amiss with this conversation. Thinking about it rationally for a moment, I realized that we had somehow disconnected over the word "afford," and I wondered for a moment what she'd meant by that.

She then interrupted my train of thought by saying, "I appreciate the offer to join the club, but I must decline."

"What for?" I asked. "You have something special you have to do?"

"No," she replied. "I'd prefer to not get involved with one of the members."

"Hmm? Oh, you mean Haruhi Suzumiya."

"Yes."

"You don't like her?"

"That's right."

- x -

As we began walking back to her apartment, it seemed like a good time to get serious and ask her exactly what she might be expecting. As I suspected, Nagato is the kind of person who doesn't really handle being alone well. In particular, thanks to her terrifying ordeal with some kind of experimental medicine, she was still dealing with some abandonment issues, so Asakura inviting me to dinner with her and Nagato was really an invitation to me to help. And since Asakura was already on her way to Canada...

"So," I concluded, "Miss Asakura just basically dumped you on me?"

"Do you mind?" Nagato asked.

"No," I answered, smiling warmly. "Actually, I could use another friend."

"Okay," she said. "Good."

"I'm still trying to..." I started, but this was something difficult to express.

"What?" she asked.

I tried again, "I haven't quite gotten used to the new house I'm living in, so... It's a good thing for me. I mean, to have someone else I can talk to about stuff."

"I would prefer having company to being alone," she flatly stated.

"I can relate to that," I said.

She then added, "I find that expanding one's social influences is more difficult than I had anticipated."

I had a bit of trouble interpreting that, but then I absorbed it and agreed, "Yeah, that sounds about right."

Just then, I noticed Tsuruya walking toward us, and she immediately spotted me and said, "There you are."

"Hey," I said, trying to keep things on a friendly tone.

"You hung up on me!" she complained.

"I didn't hang up on you," I claimed.

"Liar!" she returned, sounding a little upset but sweet and disarming at the same time.

"Okay..." I said, though it was tough taking her seriously. "Sorry."

"This is twice you owe me, you know?" she added.

"Sheesh," I said, trying to resolve all this with the comical expressions on her face.

"Who's your friend?" she finally asked, noticing Nagato.

"Oh..." I answered, quickly collecting myself. "Miss Tsuruya, this is Miss Nagato. We just met. I mean, I met her earlier, but I'm just now..."

"Getting to know her?" Tsuruya supplied, smirking in a somewhat knowing way.

"You like books?" I asked, trying to dodge the issue.

"Say what?" Tsuruya asked, giving me accusing look.

"This gets me in trouble every time," I muttered, realizing that I could never dodge the issue with Tsuruya. She could always somehow bring the conversation right back around.

"What nonsense are you spouting this time?" she playfully asked me.

"Nothing," I quickly answered. "I'll... I'll see you two later."

As I started to walk away again, she called out to me, "You better not hang up on me again!"

- x -

The next day, I got a call from Nagato. She was simply relaying to me a message from Asakura, which I was to relay to one of the girls in my class. There was nothing unusual about this. In fact, I had often found myself passing Asakura's notes in class to some of the other girls in class (since she had been sitting in the desk next to mine).

In this particular case, the girl was named Hibi Shibi (her real name, as far as I know), a girl I knew primarily because her hair was in a style I had never seen before (and almost as crazy as some of Haruhi's hair styles before she'd cut hers). I didn't see her in class yesterday, and I almost missed her again. She was standing in the hallway outside class, and I took another good look before I recognized her.

"Miss Shibi?" I asked.

"That's right," she said.

"You waiting for someone?" I asked.

"No," she answered. "I just like to be alone sometimes."

As usual, whenever this girl would speak, I often had the feeling that her inflections were backwards, and it was mysteriously alluring somehow. The expressions on her face were always oddly casual when it seemed she should be serious and vice versa. The thing that really made her stand out in my memory is the weird laugh she had. It was a strangely loud and annoying laugh that would always make everyone else in class look at her funny, but she seemed completely oblivious to it.

"Oh," I said. "Okay."

She then added, "Oh, you're that guy who's always talking to Suzumiya."

Always? Sheesh. I didn't want that kind of reputation.

"Kyon?" she asked.

"That's not my name," I stated, and not for the first time.

"Yeah," she said rather casually, "whatever."

"Did you change your hair?" I asked, finally daring to ask the obvious.

"What?" she said, then added, "Oh..."

This was a very strange reaction, coming from her, and I hastened to add, "I noticed you had..."

"It was crazy," she admitted, interrupting me. "I had hair all over the place."

"Yeah..." I said, wondering just how far down this verbal minefield I could go.

She then added, "I like this style a lot better, and honestly..."

"What?" I asked.

"I had the weirdest dream the other night," she answered.

"Really?" I said.

"Yeah," she replied. "It had you in it. And you were being a real jerk. I don't remember why, but I was so pissed off at you that I just had to do something."

Okay, this was more like what I was expecting. This girl had a reputation for being strangely fun, and there's just something about her that jibes so well with that whole concept. "Sorry," I said.

She seemed satisfied with that, and then asked, "So, was there something you wanted to talk about or...?"

"Oh, right," I answered, remembering the message. "You know Miss Asakura?"

"Yeah," she replied.

"Well, she's..." I said, trying to think of a way to convey this weird message.

"A friend of yours?" she asked.

"No, actually," I answered. "It's just that I'm pretty sure she'll keep bugging me and bugging me if I don't ask, so..."

"About what?"

"You know how she moved to Canada?"

"Yeah. That's all she's been talking about for the past couple weeks."

"She has?"

I always feel a little intimidated whenever Shibi speaks, but it seems like the good kind of intimidation. She seems like a very nice, very innocent person who nevertheless has a bad habit of revealing way too much about herself for her own good.

She shook her head and softly complained, "I keep telling her I'm not interested."

"Well..." I said, trying to think of another way to segue into this message, but I had the feeling she already knew what it was.

"Do you have her email address?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

Once I gave her Asakura's email address, it seemed like a good time to go to class, but then I noticed Asahina was looking for me.

"Miss Asahina?" I said.

"Hello," she said. "I hope this isn't too forward of me, but we really need to talk."

"Okay," I said, "shoot."

"Meet me after school in the park."

"Okay."

- x -

After class that day, I went straight to the park, so I had a little time to myself. It was nice, but there were a lot of disturbing things for me to think about. In particular, the thought of me being in Shibi's dream was just too much. I'm not so full of myself that I believe I could make a complete stranger dream about me, but that's exactly what happened. And if I was going to be completely honest with myself, I had dreamed about her, too. It was weird, but there was just no denying it.

I understood why I wouldn't want to believe that dream could be real or maybe even a shared dream, because there was so much in it that I couldn't accept. All the dreams were increasingly frightening and unbelievable. The first one just seemed outrageous. I can't even begin to describe it. The second one included Shibi, and the third one made me seem like I was obsessed with my mother. In the fourth dream, it just seemed as though I had stopped existing. And in the fifth dream, I seemed content to live an ordinary life. The ordinary life actually turned out to be the most interesting and terrible thing of all (for me, at least). I remember those five. There might have been more. I don't know. Maybe those type of weird dreams just keep going on and on forever if you stay asleep.

There was also this strange feeling that I should be familiar with Miss Nagato and Haruhi. I liked the idea of them being familiar, but it also seemed a little unfair to myself, since I really had no idea what they were like. Especially Nagato. I really felt like I owed it to her in particular to start out fresh.

I dismissed all this craziness from my mind, and just in time. Mikuru Asahina was approaching at that point, and my dream about her was definitely not something I would have wanted to be weighing on my mind.

"Hi," she said. "I'm glad you could make it."

"It's no problem," I said. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"How do I say this...?" she started.

Even had I not dreamed about her, I think I would have still been disgusted with myself at the way I perceived her. I mean, her innocence is so plain that it practically radiates from her face, and even at this moment of her collecting herself to try and find words to say to me, her naivete was so evident that it burned away at my pretensions of innocence.

She continued, "The problem is that if I try to tell you something classified, I won't be able to even say it. It'll just come out as 'classified information.' You understand?"

"Yeah," I said, a little stunned at this odd confession.

"Let me think for a moment," she sweetly added.

"Take your time," I softly invited, hoping she would take as much time as necessary.

"Okay," she said after a few moments. "Well, the truth of the matter is that we did meet before."

"We have?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered, "in another time plane. You see? I'm a time traveler."

"Okay," I said, resolving to just go along with this. "So, what's a time plane?"

She explained, "It's like a whole other dimension. I'm not completely sure, but I think it has something to do with time travel and its influence on things. Sorry."

I then asked, "So, you met some me in another dimension?"

"That's right," she replied. "But, you see, everything kind of got messed up. I was supposed to go three years into the past, but I somehow made a mistake and ended up going nine years into the past."

"I can see how that would be a problem," I admitted.

"Right," she said. "But the real problem is that the event created a kind of lasting change in the space-time continuum."

"It did?" I asked.

She answered, "It caused some... romantic difficulties for Miss Suzumiya in the future."

I had a good laugh at that, and remarked, "That's quite a goof."

"Please don't laugh," she softly complained, looking a little ashamed of herself.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"This is really hard for me," she added.

I then hastily explained, "No, it's just that I can't really picture Haruhi in a romantic situation."

"Really?" she asked, sounding very surprised.

"Yeah, really," I said, very sincerely.

"Because," she quickly added, "in my time plane, you and her are classified information. Oh, jeez."

"I think I get the idea," I said.

The insinuation was clear, and some voice in the back of my head was pestering me that it was true, but things like that are easy to ignore.

"Well," I said, clearing my mind, "nice to meet you... Again."

"Right," she said.

I then asked, "You want to get something to eat, or...?"

She answered, "I just wanted to make sure you knew about this so that if you inadvertently found out on your own..."

"Oh," I realized, "it's a secret."

"Yes," she said.

It then struck me as very odd that I could remember so much useless crap, but I couldn't remember anything that had happened to me just a couple days ago. Of course, all the dreams become a kind of blur of information that I could safely overlook, but that Sunday... I could remember it suddenly being very cold for some weird reason, but that was it.

I then cleared my mind again and thought seriously about what this girl was telling me in the real world and in the here and now, and I remarked, "That would cause quite a stir, I mean if people started to find out about it."

"I'd really prefer that didn't happen again," she added.

"Again?" I asked.

"I'm sorry," she said, "but it's classified."

"Sheesh."

"May I sit down?"

"Go ahead."

"Thank you."

- x -

Mikuru Asahina isn't the terrifying villain she had initially seemed to be, and her younger version was definitely someone I don't think I could have been afraid of had I tried. We spent a little time talking about time planes and what they could mean, and that led into a discussion of what I had been like (since I'm pretty much invisible to myself) and she didn't refrain from giving some of the most interesting observations. Any time she began talking about Haruhi, she would interrupt herself in some strange way, but she probably could have spent many hours discussing my life at length.

The depressing thing was that my life was ridiculously easy to predict in the grand scheme of things. My reactions to stressful events were as obvious as water being wet. I think I was almost starting to remember the events of the other time planes, but then Asahina mercifully began discussing Nagato. Nagato seemed to be under the impression that my influences and decisions were somehow a little unpredictable, and that just made her seem really creepy in Asahina's eyes. I invited her to join me in a visit to Nagato's apartment, but she quickly rejected that offer (though she was very sweet about it), and left me to take care of that business by myself. Probably just as well.

There's something very warm and inviting in Nagato's manner that I can't sense from where she lives, the kind of life she leads, or even the weird hobbies she has. It's suspicious, frankly, and I wouldn't be surprised if Nagato was hiding some ill-favored and dark side of herself. That would be kind of cute, actually.

In any case, when I went visiting at her house, she invited me to tea. This was a much more normal situation than when I was here yesterday, though I could sense her odd inquisitiveness still lurking behind all that proper behavior.

"I don't suppose you know her," I asked.

"Who?" she asked.

"Miss Asahina," I answered.

"We have not met," she responded.

I then remarked, "She told me she's a time traveler."

"She did?"

"Yes, but it's a secret, so don't go telling anyone."

"Okay."

"She told me that I ended up writing about some other time plane."

It then occurred to me that maybe Nagato thinks of time as the true expense, and that would make writing one of the more expensive hobbies a person could get involved in. The actual construction of a story would not take long, but I imagine all the research and editing involved could become quite an expense.

"It was weird," I added. "Me? A writer?"

"Indeed," she softly agreed.

I hastened to add, "I mean, books are okay and all, but I doubt I'd have anything to write about. I'm probably the most boring person on the planet."

"Did she mention the subject matter?" Nagato then asked.

I answered, "Aside from it being autobiographical? No."

"I see," she said.

"Well, actually..." I said, thinking again. "She did mention something about me becoming friendly with Suzumiya, and she mentioned you."

"Oh?" she said.

"She has a rather low opinion of you, I think," I answered.

"What did she say about Suzumiya?" she asked.

"Not much," I answered. "Just that you had a strange interest in her."

"I see," she said.

This conversation had somehow taken on the feel of a crime drama, and I pictured myself as a detective. It was absurd, of course. I'm not that good at solving mysteries, but it was fun to kind of role play it.

"You know much about Haruhi?" I asked.

"I'm curious about Asahina," she said, clearly taking the role of lead detective.

"Yes," I said, thinking about it seriously for a moment. "So am I."

She then added, "I'd like to know why a time traveler is spending so much time in this era."

"Now that you mention it," I admitted, "that does seem strange."

"You don't seem skeptical of her story," Nagato observed.

"I am, actually," I said. "I'm also curious to see just how far she can go with it."

"I see," she said.


	33. Banana Mango

- Chapter 3: Banana Mango

Yuki Nagato turned out to have little patience for my inquiry into Mikuru Asahina's odd behavior, and it wasn't long before she returned to playing a video game. I don't recall what it was exactly. I think it was some kind of weird amalgam of role-playing and platform that quickly turned into a button testing, hidden treasure finding, puzzle-solving game. I wanted to find the developer responsible and ask him just what sort of madness makes someone want to combine so many types of games. Just choose one style and stick with it, damn it.

My own patience for what Nagato was doing soon ran out, and I dismissed myself. The sky was growing cloudy again, and I feared it might rain, as I got another call. You can probably guess who it was from.

"Hey," I said.

"Did you hear?" Tsuruya asked.

"About what?" I asked.

"Asakura went to Canada," she informed me. "That was pretty sudden, huh?"

"Yeah, it was," I agreed.

Tsuruya then asked, "She was in your class, right?"

"Yeah."

"So, what else did they say?"

"You mean Okabe?"

"Yeah."

Idiot. No point in wondering about that. The thing that started bothering me was that Asakura had dumped Nagato on me. I don't recall her asking me about it, specifically. She had just assumed I would go along. Never mind that I was going along with it. Damn it. That's not the point. I guess I like having at least the appearance of a choice if not an actual choice in these matters, but then I probably wouldn't have decided to look after Nagato if Asakura hadn't dragged me into it. I probably wouldn't have even joined the club had Koizumi not kept pestering me. It's true. I am an immovable object, after all.

And speaking of objects, my mother had spoken to me that morning and had given me some allowance! Allowance! I could actually buy things! Weird. I have held money in my hands, but never money that I could consider my own. It was a little disconcerting. I was almost afraid to spend it. Hey, now I think I know how Haruhi feels. Yeah, right.

I kept thinking I should save it for something special or maybe someone special. The more I thought about it, the more I really wanted to spend it on doing something nice for Nagato. I don't think she'd con me, but even if she was working one on me, it's creative enough that I'd chalk it up as an entertainment expense. Just getting a good look at Asakura's apartment before she'd left had probably been worth it, and that reminded me of what Okabe had said. Or rather, he repeated some rumors uncertainly and had shrugged like it was nothing.

I told Tsuruya, "He doesn't know anything. Honestly, it's pretty amazing that he's a teacher."

"Really?" she asked.

I answered, "I know all about Asakura's sudden departure, though. She told me right before she left."

"Oh?" she then asked. "What was that about? Was it family-related?"

"No," I replied. "She just packed up and left."

"On her own?" she asked.

I answered, "Sure, why not? It's not like you need special permission nowadays. Just pick up a visa and go."

"That is so unfair," she complained.

"You want to go to Canada?" I asked.

"Hell yeah," she answered. "You know Vancouver has the highest standard of living in the world?"

"I'd heard that, yeah," I said. "I don't remember where. Osaka isn't bad, either."

She remarked, "I can't imagine living in Osaka, but Vancouver would be cool."

"Yeah," I admitted, "I'd move there, if I had a choice."

"You don't?" she asked.

"It's my mom," I explained. "She said I'd be an idiot to want to leave Japan. Somehow, I don't think she'd help me pay for the trip."

My mother pisses me off sometimes. Not enough to trip out or anything. It's just... She doesn't know what it's like to be young during a "lost decade" that suddenly turns into two decades and looks like it may take a century or two to pan out before we suddenly start "finding" anyone again. I understand the fourteenth century in Europe was a lot like this. Too bad for them (and us) how things didn't start looking up till the late sixteenth century. I wonder if Shakespeare knew how much better life was for him than his grandparents?

It's an odd thought: thinking that you're really living in a dull gray time that historians will later refer to as a terrible time, economically. It really makes you appreciate the friends you have. Any education you receive that actually enlightens or benefits you is like manna from heaven, though it's admittedly difficult for me to perceive it that way. The world itself is such a wasteland of ignorance and incompetence at the highest levels that anyone who actually cares about the people they lead would be practically deified (i.e. labeled a "genius" or something similar).

It's really the perfect world for someone like Haruhi Suzumiya to come along and drag the world up out of its malaise and into a dream of frenetic accomplishment, though I really can't see her achieving anything. I already know from witnessing it in person: she's really not good at anything. Or rather, she's just good enough to get by at most things, but not really what I'd call good at any one thing in particular. (Except maybe athletics, but she's getting a little too old to realistically get involved in that.)

Anyway, I probably could find her the ideal goal in life if I cared enough, which I don't. Don't get me wrong. It would be cool to see her succeed in life, but it just seems like way too much work for me. I like her face. How about that? I'm sure she could probably become a better person if someone could muster up the will to help her, but that person isn't me. I may be her "classified information" in some other dimension, but that just makes me think how wrong it must really be.

I am a big enough idiot to want to leave Japan, too. There's nothing wrong with wanting to live in Japan if you intend to work hard and raise a family, but I just don't see myself as the family guy type. I see myself as more of an explorer with a degree in medicine type. If I could afford a degree, that is.

"Don't you have relatives in Canada?" Tsuruya asked, breaking my train of thought.

"Florida," I answered, correcting her.

"Florida?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, explaining, "they work in the aerospace industry or something. I forget, offhand."

"Your uncle?" she guessed.

"On my mother's side," I said. "Yeah. My mother has three brothers. One went to Florida, one's in Australia, and another is in Hokkaido."

"That's spread out," she observed.

"Yeah," I agreed, "but nobody I know lives in Canada."

"What made her want to go?"

"I don't know, but she was really excited about it."

"Excited?"

"She must know someone there."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

Asakura must have a boyfriend there. At least, that's what I thought. Maybe she chatted with someone online, and this was her way of getting together. That would make a lot of sense, though I can't really understand that sort of thing. I'd have to get to know someone in person before I'd take an interest. And even then, it would take a while for me to express it. I had a feeling Nagato was the same way. In fact, I was almost certain of it.

What can I say? I like the idea of gradually getting to know someone. There's something really special about that. It helps you develop real emotions, and there's just no substitute for taking your time. I think in Haruhi's world, she has this idea that she's running out of time. This is why she resents it so much when someone wastes her time. She wants everything to happen instantly, and that's going to make it difficult for her to get along with people. This is also why I can't really see her in a romantic relationship. She just doesn't have the patience for it.

This just makes it all the more perplexing that Koizumi would refer to her as "charming." What the hell? Stupid Koizumi. I just don't get his way of thinking at all, sometimes. Then again, I don't think I understand Tsuruya's way of thinking, or why she was even taking an interest in Asakura. Asakura had been the buzz of the school. Even so, her moving to Canada couldn't have been all that interesting.

I added, "I had thought Hibiki might go with her, but I don't think she's too keen on the idea."

"Who?" Tsuruya asked.

"Oh, you've never met Hibiki?" I asked. "I guess I shouldn't call her that, but it's hard not to."

This was how Taniguchi referred to her. He didn't have a prayer of ever hooking up with her, and he knew it, though I'm sure he'd give anything to date her a few times. It was really sad, the way he described her. It was so obvious that he could only see her good side. I think her dark side would come as a huge shock to a guy like him. Heck, it would probably shock me, too.

"How many girls do you know, really?" Tsuruya then demanded.

I began laughing and then admitted, "Too many. Honestly, though. I think I like this Nagato girl."

"Is it serious?" she asked.

"No," I admitted, "but I think I might ask her out."

"Well, good luck," she said, then neatly added, "You're going to need it."

"You're telling me?" I softly remarked.

"Just don't forget you still owe me a favor," she then commanded.

"Two, actually," I corrected.

"That's right," she said, firmly agreeing.

- x -

It was so cool that my mother was offering me money for merely existing, and she made it clear that it wasn't because of my grades or because of my being helpful during the move. (She did ask what I was going to do with the money, guessing that I was going to blow it on Tsuruya. This gave my mother an excuse to get upset at her again. I'm glad my mother doesn't know about Nagato. I have a feeling she wouldn't get along. Just a hunch.)

To be honest, I was strongly tempted to blow it all on video games, but offering to take Mikuru Asahina out to eat had been a nice feeling. I told myself that it would feel a lot better to use the money for dating, and I think I made a good call on that, in retrospect.

The next day, I was thinking about how to spend my money when I noticed Haruhi looking a little ragged. She's normally very much a neat freak, so this was a little disconcerting.

"What day is today?" she asked.

"It's Wednesday," I answered.

"Really?" she said. "Seems like a Tuesday."

"You forgot the day of the week?" I asked, a little astonished.

"I'm focused on next Monday," she explained. "You know? Tanabata? Everything else has been kind of getting in the way of that."

As usual, Haruhi's childish way of speaking (which I admit is somewhat endearing) always seemed to make what she said seem all the more ridiculous, given how serious she was over something I considered utterly trivial. The ribbons in her hair were definitely not helping in that respect. And the look on her face was a practiced scowl that made it seem as though she took pride in just how menacing she could appear.

"How much are you planning to do on that day?" I asked, somewhat rhetorically.

As usual, she ignored my rhetorical question and she asked me, "Where were you, yesterday?"

"What?" I said.

She complained, "You're in my club, you know? I expect you to show up."

"Jeez," I complained right back, not wanting her to believe for a moment that I really was a member of her club.

"And what the heck happened to Asakura?" she added. "I'm back down to four members again. I don't want to have less than five. This sucks."

"You call her 'Asakura?'" I noted.

I know Haruhi has this bad habit of using diminutives and given names for everyone, even for people she's only just met, so to hear her refer to Miss Asakura as Asakura was a little strange. Then again, she also calls Koizumi by his family name, so maybe it's just an indicator of her relative affection. Yeah, right.

I dismissed that thought and remarked, "I'm sure three is more than enough for whatever you're up to."

"Four, damnit," she insisted. "Don't you skip out on club again. I need to think of a penalty for you skipping yesterday."

"A penalty?" I said, about to remark that most clubs don't generally offer punishments as an incentive for joining.

"I'll come up with something," she answered, taking a small stack of papers out of her school bag. She then handed them to me, saying, "And here's the stupid assignment."

"Oh, thanks," I said, glad to finally get something useful from her.

"So?" she asked, as I put the papers away into my bag.

"What?" I asked.

"What happened to Asakura?" she asked.

"She moved," I replied.

"To Canada?" Haruhi asked. "That's suspicious."

"No, it's not," I said.

"I'm getting to the bottom of this," she added.

"There's nothing to get to," I insisted. "She wanted to go, so she went. That's all."

"You personally knew about it?" she asked.

"That's right. I was there when she started packing."

"I don't like it. It's too sudden."

"Just give it up."

For a moment, Haruhi had a faint smile on her face, and (as usual again) I got a sinking feeling about it. She then suddenly frowned and asked, "You were there? Where were you?"

"At a friend's apartment," I answered, hastening to add, "Look, it's very straight-forward. Just forget about it."

"I'm going over there after school," she decided.

"Where?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.

"I want to meet this friend of yours," she said.

"No way," I said, very firmly.

"What?" she said, then added, "Why not?"

"She doesn't like you," I answered.

"She?" Haruhi said. "And how could anyone not like me? That's ridiculous."

"No, it's not," I said. "Look, a lot of people don't like you."

"Like who?" she had the nerve to ask.

Like me, I thought. I then told her, "Let's just say it's a lot and leave it at that."

"We're going there," she said, folding her arms, determined. "I don't care if she likes me or not."

Typical Haruhi. Stubborn as a mule, and ten times as ornery. I thought I might be inflating that figure a bit, but then she added:

"Asakura is still a member of the SOS Brigade. As far as I'm concerned, she's AWOL. I want some answers."

"Fine. If you're that gung-ho about it."

- x -

Haruhi may not care much for literature, but she does have a strong preference for things like fine food, fine works of art, and (surprisingly) fine classical music. She can also pick out the faults in not-so-fine examples of such things, and that kind of attitude makes me want to put my fine fist into her fine face. I would never be so loutish as to actually act on that impulse, but I don't mind making literary note of it.

My sense of the classical comes from the classics of comic books, and there are many fine examples of those. They are, in fact, so classic that I need not even mention them. My impression of Haruhi's artistic preferences was so skewed that I often liked to picture her as an ardent book-burner (as if she were a reborn Adolf Hitler). It was a little surprising to me to see her take such a warm interest in computers, in photography, and in several other media-related products. So much about her is so contradictory that it's difficult for me to say for sure what she likes or dislikes.

As we went to Nagato's apartment, I noticed Haruhi didn't exactly chat much on the way, and her purposeful stride alongside my rather more casual way of walking suggested that she would not have invited discussion. I don't know, but it just seems really unnatural to want to keep to yourself in these situations. Nevertheless, this was what she did.

It gave me some time to think about Haruhi's odd likes and dislikes, and I noted with some amusement how she didn't hesitate to comment on Nagato's apartment when we arrived.

"Whoa!" she said. "Check out all this stuff!"

"I'm really sorry," I said.

"That's okay," Nagato told me. "I'm sure you did what you could."

I was almost positive that that statement wasn't sarcasm, so why was I suddenly feeling a bit slighted? I tried to track down this thought, but then Haruhi interrupted.

She pointed and asked Nagato, "Is this your DVD collection?"

"Yes," Nagato answered.

I looked, and Haruhi had apparently found a shelf that I had somehow neglected to notice the other times I had been here.

"Neon Genesis Evangelion?" she said. "Wow, that's cool!"

"Wait, what?" I said, trying to decide whether I was more surprised by Haruhi's reaction or by the fact that Nagato had had this modern masterpiece.

Haruhi added, "I know, right?"

"How come I never noticed that?" I asked.

"Damn," Haruhi answered.

"I love that show," I said.

"You want it?" Nagato asked.

"Huh?" I said.

"You can have it if you like," she said.

"Really?" I asked, hardly daring to believe she wasn't joking.

"Yes," she smoothly answered.

"Oh, cool," I said. "Thanks. My mother really likes this show, too."

"I could never find that on DVD," Haruhi complained. "How did you find it?"

"I went to Akiba," Nagato said.

"Whoa," Haruhi said, a little too impressed with that sentiment.

For the two or three people reading this who don't know where "Akiba" is, it's actually Akihabara, the infamous electronics shopping district in Tokyo. It's infamous for being a kind of frequent destination for otakus (in particular, the kind who like robots). This was all somewhat amusing, but a little disturbing, as well.

I quickly collected myself and said, "Okay, let's focus here."

"Oh, right," Haruhi said, very serious all of a sudden.

"There's nothing suspicious going on here," I stated.

"Really?" she asked.

I added, "Asakura just moved, that's all."

"Right," she said. "I wanted to ask about that."

Nagato then offered, "Would you care for some tea?"

- x -

Haruhi's adversarial approach to most things makes her a somewhat frustrating person to deal with, and I suppose this helps her out quite a bit when she does things like go shopping or intrude into people's homes, but it can be quite a disadvantage in a normal social situation, like when the three of us went to Miss Nagato's table for tea. There are limits to how much you should press people, and that thought probably never occurred to Haruhi. At least, that's how I imagined her, and she didn't fail to live up to that expectation.

I find it all rather frustrating, anyway. My mother takes this approach to some things, as well, but she has honed her skill at confrontation to an art. I doubt Haruhi would have the patience to really hone any of her own skills. I decided to just sit back and watch, while Haruhi spoke to Miss Nagato. I figured it would be interesting to see how Haruhi could handle this type of situation.

"So," Haruhi started, "Asakura went to Canada?"

"That's right," Nagato said, having just sat down again after pouring us some tea.

"Why did she move there?" Haruhi asked. "Just because she wanted to?"

"Yes," Nagato answered.

"Odd," Haruhi remarked.

"She likes Canada," Nagato explained.

"What does she like about it?"

"She likes the educational system they have."

"Is that it?"

"She also expressed a fondness for the culture and the way the government operates there."

"She never told me about any of that."

"Did she converse with you on other matters?"

"No. Now that I think about it, she never really opened up to me."

More likely, Haruhi was the one who didn't open up to her. Anyway, why would anyone want to confide in Haruhi? The thought was odd, but then I sensed that she was just bluffing and posturing her way through this conversation. I couldn't resist, so I remarked, "That's hardly surprising."

I don't think Haruhi had counted on me taking notice that she wasn't particularly approachable, and that made me stop and wonder what she'd been expecting from me. Haruhi doesn't exactly hide the fact that she doesn't have any patience for us normal human beings. In fact, on the first day of class, she had introduced herself as someone who was only interested in members of her fantasy occult world. I imagine anyone who might have been entertaining thoughts of greeting her or of making some prologue to a meeting of the minds with her might have been at least a bit taken aback by all that.

Maybe it finally dawned on her now that building a huge mental wall around her psyche only meant that she would never accomplish her stated desire, even had there actually been aliens, espers, or time travelers anywhere conveniently nearby. In fact, perfectly nice, ordinary people like Miss Asakura would only find being in Haruhi's company to be a chore, and they would sensibly avoid contact.

Nagato added, "She joined the club because she believed that it was primarily focused on the study of literature."

I told Haruhi, "You did take over the literature club's room."

"I don't know," Haruhi softly commented. "Something doesn't quite seem right."

"Like what?" I asked.

She answered, "Well, never mind. No real mystery here, huh?"

"That's right," I said with some conviction.

"I'll just have to put Yuki on the roster," Haruhi concluded, as if that somehow made sense.

"Say what?" I asked.

She explained, "Well, I can't very well be happy with only four members."

"You mean three," I corrected.

"Don't start with that again," she smoothly complained. "And anyway, it's only fair. Yuki took her away, so Yuki can join us."

"You can't be serious," I flatly stated.

"It's my club," she argued.

I countered, "I think Miss Nagato has a right to choose for herself what clubs she joins."

"Well, then," she said. "Yuki, what do you want? You going to sit around here or join my club?"

"You don't have to," I quickly warned her.

"It's okay," Nagato answered. "I'll join."

"See?" Haruhi said. "No problem."

"Are you sure?" I asked Nagato.

"Yes," she promptly replied.

"Well..." I said, not comfortable with this at all. "If you're sure..."

- x -

When I had a chance to stop and think about it, that whole situation made me realize what an excellent judge of character Nagato is. It also gave me an appreciation for Nagato's forbearance. And maybe she learned that Haruhi isn't such an unlikeable person, after all. I certainly wouldn't want to face being in a club with Haruhi alone, so maybe Nagato joining wasn't such a bad idea, after all.

In any case, I had almost seen Nagato express some form of exasperation. That was quite an experience. I started to get the idea that Nagato isn't really emotionless. She just prefers her emotions to be precise and economical. She didn't really strike me that way, at first. At first, she seemed like someone who would shun all emotion as a matter of principle, perhaps ending up becoming a kind of volcano of emotions. It might even be true to the extent of her nervous introspection. Why live in such a shell, though? There was no reason for it that I could think of.

Haruhi can definitely take an ordinary situation and cloud it up with her confusing suspicions and unreasonable demands. She does have her usefulness, though. For example, this economics research project that I was about halfway through copying (reworded a bit more to my liking) off of her attempt. Her research was clumsy, and I could see a few mistakes here and there, but it was a very handy time-saver for me. I'm just glad Mom conned her into doing it.

I was sitting at my desk in my room and starting to think about taking a break when my phone rang. It was you-know-who again.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked.

Tsuruya complained, "I didn't see you at school today."

"I was busy," I answered.

"With what?" she asked.

"I spent my lunch period copying some work I'd left unfinished."

"Copying?"

With this kind of copying, I was almost positive that Haruhi would be the one accused of cheating, if anyone. It would take a certain attention to detail that I didn't think any of my teachers would bother with, but even if they did for some weird reason, I wouldn't be the one they'd be angry with. I had nothing to worry about, though. Teachers don't have the time to pay attention this closely to every detail of their students' work.

I added, "Then Haruhi canceled club and decided to go over to Nagato's. She was convinced that something was going on over there. I tried to warn her, but..."

"Why did she do that?" Tsuruya asked.

I replied, "She thought there was some connection between her and Asakura going to Canada."

Tsuruya then asked, "Your mother still mad at me about the other day?"

"Yeah," I answered, "but I think she'll be okay in a few days."

"You talk to her?"

"No. Actually, Nagato gave me her collection of Eva discs, and I'm letting Mom watch that. She'll forget all about what happened with you, I think."

"All right."

Tsuruya had been childish, pretending to be my lover and trying to get me in trouble with my mother, but that had only created a very bad impression. I don't think my mother's sense of humor is as outrageous as Tsuruya's.

"Funny coincidence, though," I observed.

"What?" she asked.

I answered, "I was just about to call you. Nagato said she wanted to visit you sometime."

"You can come over if you want," she immediately said.

I sat there waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have to say, Tsuruya has an excellent sense for comic timing.

She then added, "And you can bring her along if you like."

"Thanks," I said.

She then started to warn me, "You keep doing this, and..."

"I know. I know," I said.

She predicted, "I'm going to own you, at some point."

"Sheesh."

"How are you ever going to repay me?"

"You want a cat?"

"No, thank you."

- x -

"I don't suppose you're interested in having a cat?" I later asked Nagato.

"I..." she said, then stopped herself and added, "No."

That was an interesting reaction. It sounded like she was about to say, "I do," but then she thought better of it. She then returned to the business of walking down the sidewalk with me towards Tsuruya's place.

"Why not?" I asked. "He's house trained."

She answered, "I get too attached, and I get extremely depressed when they go missing."

"Oh," I said.

"I like cats," she added.

"I see," I said. "Yeah, that's the tough part."

"I would prefer a movie," she suggested.

"You want to go see one this weekend?" I asked. "I know a good one that's still playing."

"Yes," she answered, "that would be good."

"Well, all right," I said, getting that feeling again from offering a favor.

Nagato didn't look too comfortable, though. I get the feeling she gets nervous whenever people feel like they owe her a favor or even when people are just agreeing with her. I sometimes feel that way, though not very often. But I can relate.

"I'm really starting to like you," I admitted.

"Really?" she asked, doing a pretty good imitation of the way I would ask that.

"Yeah," I answered. "And I'm not just saying that."

"Okay," she said, as if merely filing that away in her mental filing cabinet.

"You don't have a problem with that, do you?" I prompted.

"My life is complicated..." she started.

For a long moment, I was having a sinking feeling, as if this was a prelude to some euphemistic rejection.

She softly added, "But I wouldn't mind having you in it."

"Are you blushing?" I asked, a little pleasantly surprised at that reaction.

She looked down, and that was such a stunningly cute expression, that I felt like the top of my head might come off. I began laughing heartily. "That's great," I said. "I love it."

"Are you making fun of me?" she asked.

"No," I replied, "I just didn't expect you to give me that super cute reaction."

She then warned, "There is still school to think of."

"Yeah," I said, "we have to graduate before things can get serious."

"That isn't what I meant," she corrected.

"Huh?"

"I mean, Haruhi Suzumiya will interfere. She will use school as a pretext to cause trouble."

"Oh."

Haruhi would be a problem. Even so, I'd be damned if I just let her do whatever she felt like with Nagato.

"In the meantime," she continued, "I would prefer if we spoke of this after our visit."

"Okay," I said.

- x -

Tsuruya's place of residence was surprising, to say the least. For such an old-fashioned house, it was more like one of those traditional mansions than like any kind of old-fashioned house I'd ever been in. Not that I've visited that many, but this place was like stepping into the home of some shogun in the nineteenth century, or like one of those fancy hot springs resorts you sometimes find way out in the country.

I think I might have mentioned it when I entered one of the front rooms with Nagato. There were some chairs and a coffee table with some magazines nearby. An old-fashioned (rotary) telephone was on an end table near a chair Tsuruya was sitting in. I had the impression this was a "sitting room" or something like that.

"You like it?" she asked. "I think it's kind of stuffy. I like to picture myself in a penthouse suite with a nice view."

It was a lot to take in, very much like when I first visited the new house. Only, this was about ten times more impressive.

"So, now you know," she softly added.

"Why hide it?" I asked. "I mean..."

She smoothly explained, "People always suddenly want to be your friend. I'm not rich, I just know people. Okay?"

"Okay," I answered, not believing for a moment that she wasn't rich.

"I have enough friends," she added.

"So," I asked, "why are you going to North High?"

She scowled and softly replied, "You know I don't want to talk about it."

"Right," I said, reflecting on an earlier conversation. "Your dad."

She didn't get along with her father. It was a long story that she didn't feel like telling me, but the short version is that she was going to North High to try and set him off, and he was being stubbornly indifferent.

"You've met Yuki, right?" I asked.

"We..." she started, frowning at me for a moment, then adding, "Yeah."

"You met the other day, right?" I guessed.

"We met at the library," she answered. "That was right before we bumped into each other."

"Oh," I said, sorting all this out in my head.

"Jeez," she said. "Look at you. Already flaunting your girlfriend in my face."

This was rather abrupt, so I took a moment to wonder how she had reached this conclusion.

"I was joking," she said, frowning somewhat uncharacteristically.

"Oh..." I said. For me to not realize that Tsuruya would take any opportunity she could to kid around with me was rather uncharacteristic of me. You could understand, though. I mean, things had been getting a little crazy.

Tsuruya then cheerfully complained, "I guess you've already gotten the confession out of the way. Sheesh. You didn't waste any time. I didn't figure you for the type."

Nagato then asked her, "You mind if I ask a few questions?"

"Oh!" Tsuruya said, looking a little surprised. "Well, hey. Sure. Down to business."

"Go right ahead," I added. "We're all friends, right?"

"That's right," Tsuruya said, smiling and impossibly cheerful again.

"Do you know a girl named Mikuru Asahina?" Nagato asked.

"I've heard the name," Tsuruya answered, feigning an overly serious demeanor.

"Are you familiar with her, personally?" Nagato asked.

Tsuruya answered, "We've spoken from time to time, sure. Why do you ask?"

"Are you aware of her peculiar nature?"

"If you mean she's a time traveler, sure. I mean, that's what she keeps saying about herself, but..."

"I see."

"She has a wilder imagination than I have, and I have a pretty wild imagination."

This business about time traveling again was disturbing. I found it all very hard to believe. For Tsuruya to hear about this must have been a huge mishap. I just couldn't picture Asahina confiding in Tsuruya.

"She told you?" I asked.

Tsuruya answered, "She didn't so much tell me, as much as I just sort of figured it out. She isn't exactly adept at hiding this sort of thing."

Nagato started, "But you don't believe she's really..."

"Oh, no," Tsuruya said, emphatically. "Who would believe such a weird story? I figure it's just Mikuru being Mikuru."

"So, you are aware of her domestic situation?" Nagato asked.

"I've been over to her house, yeah," Tsuruya answered.

"And did anything happen when you were there?" Nagato asked.

"I met her mother," Tsuruya answered. "Nice person."

"I see," Nagato said.

"Does she have a boyfriend?" I asked, and was answered with a rather piercing glare. "What? I'm just curious."

Nagato looked just a little taken aback by that exchange, and Tsuruya began laughing, almost hysterically. She answered, "I think she's available. You two-timer, you."

"Jeez," I said. Ask a simple question...

Tsuruya admitted, "I honestly can't imagine Mikuru with a boyfriend. That seems kind of weird."

"Why is that?" Nagato asked.

Tsuruya answered, "She doesn't seem like the type, but then what do I know?"

"Has she decided on a college?" I asked.

"I don't think so," Tsuruya answered, a bit uncertain.

I said, "But she has to have decided something by now."

Tsuruya casually remarked, "She doesn't seem overly concerned. It's not like she needs to worry about it until next year. I mean, she is still a second-year."

I then asked the obvious question: "Why would a time traveler spend so much time in this time period? I don't really get that."

Tsuruya replied, "I think she said she's investigating Suzumiya."

"Is that it?" I asked.

Tsuruya added, "She's convinced that Suzumiya can travel through time, as well."

Okay, that was just bizarre. Haruhi, the time traveler?

Tsuruya answered my expression, "I know. That was my reaction. I asked her about it, but she just said, 'That's classified.'"

I sighed and softly remarked, "She's really gone, isn't she?"

"Yeah," she answered, "but isn't it hilarious? You have got to go see her house, someday. That's just a trip."

"Why is that?" I asked.

She answered, "It's so retro. It's just the kind of thing you'd imagine a clueless time traveler might live in."


	34. Devil's Slide

- Chapter 4: Devil's Slide

On the way to Nagato's apartment, I had a lot of things I wanted to talk about, but there was something about her that made me want to refrain. She asked about fast food, and she mentioned a number of types she liked, mostly settling on beef bowl. Something about it just agreed with her, evidently. She then mentioned a number of things about Tsuruya that I found surprising. I won't repeat most of them, but I should mention that Tsuruya's mother had approved of her going to North High. That seemed to settle that question in my mind a little. I then wondered why Yuki was going to North High and why she was so fond of fast food, but I didn't get a satisfactory answer to that. She was holding something back, and it made me a little uneasy.

When we came to her apartment building, she was suddenly quiet again, and I began to wonder if everything she had told me had just been my imagination. Just as I was getting used to the silence, we entered, and she explained that her family had decided to let her live by herself. It was all part of her rehabilitation after that terrifying procedure she had endured. She wouldn't go into detail about the nature of the procedure or her rehabilitation, but I doubted the details were all that important.

When we entered her apartment, I started to feel the first tingling of something truly terrifying in the back of my mind. I couldn't place it, but it definitely was there. I thought it was just the moment and shoved it back down. In retrospect, I think I was beginning to remember my strange encounter with Koizumi. Somehow, I began anticipating that this situation would force me to remember that incident more fully.

"What does it mean to love?" Nagato asked, once we had sat at her table and began speaking.

"Where did that come from?" I asked, wondering if she was serious.

"I'd like to know," she added, very sincerely.

It hadn't yet dawned on me that Nagato was somewhat less mature than other girls her age. Her asking me this question shoved that reality right up in my face, and I was at a bit of a loss for how to react.

"Well..." I answered, "I guess it's just something you feel."

"You mean like infatuation?" she asked.

"Sure," I answered. "Nothing wrong with a little infatuation."

"Is that how you feel?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm pretty sure."

She then took out a pen and a notebook. She opened it to a blank page and began writing.

"What's that?" I asked, not sure for a moment what she was doing. "Oh..." I added, starting to see.

She wrote: "Is there a difference between love and lust?" She then gave me the notebook and the pen. I took a moment to really admire the neatness of her handwriting.

"Okay," I said, thinking about this seriously. "Let's see."

I then wrote: "The difference is like night and day. You can't even compare the two." My own handwriting was really sloppy, compared to hers.

"There you go," I said.

"No, that's okay," she said. "Sometimes, you need to see the words."

I asked, "It doesn't seem real to you unless it's written?"

"It seems less threatening," she supplied.

"Because, you know," I explained, "a lot of people confuse love and lust. But I've never had that problem."

"I see," she said.

"What do you think love means?"

"I don't know."

"You want to find out?"

I think this was the moment when I really began to think of her as "Yuki," and I think it's become a little iconic to me. I mean, here she was, asking about love. I offer to help her learn, and she hesitates. It's such a wallflower reaction, and that's hard for me to not like. I get the feeling she doesn't really like being a wallflower. I guess she just had no idea what she was messing with at the time, and I can respect that.

(You see, I've always been something of jerk all my life. I never really cared whether people respected me, as long as they didn't mess with me. If they were afraid of me, that was okay. I always hated that, though. You know? It's like having this weird third arm or like having a really crappy song stuck in your head all the time. Hopefully, this is something I can grow out of. I'd really hate to be stuck as a jerk all my life.)

"Amazing," I remarked.

"You always seem so cheerful," Yuki remarked right back.

"I know," I agreed. "I'm an upbeat kind of guy."

"It seems strange," she said.

"What?" I asked.

"Why are you so cheerful?" she asked.

I answered, "Should I not be? My mother is happy again. Heck, it feels like I have a brand new family at home. My sister is still excited about the new house, and that rubs off on me. It's a fresh, new place. Everything is so clean and... It feels nice."

"I see," she said.

"I like my friends. Kunikida is a great guy. He annoys me sometimes, but he really means well. Taniguchi is... well... He makes me appreciate what a great guy Kunikida is."

"Okay."

"There's this one annoying girl who sits right behind me in class, and I admit I could stand to study a little harder, but otherwise things are going great at school. I just joined a club. How about that?"

"Okay."

"So, it's not the best club in the world, but it's interesting. There's a 'time traveler' in it, and this guy who has some freaky light show he likes to dazzle people with. I'm not sure how he does it, but I'm pretty sure I'll figure it out one day."

"Okay."

I paused for a moment to wonder if she was just going to "okay" me all evening, but then I realized that even that was something that helped me be cheerful. I added, "There's this girl I like who vindicates my every word with a simple acknowledgement, and that feels so good I can't describe it."

"But do you trust her?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered.

"Okay," she said.

"What about me?" I asked. "Do you trust me?"

She smoothly answered, "No, but that's okay."

"No?" I asked.

She explained, "We have a common purpose. That's good enough for now, right?"

That seemed like a bit much to swallow, but then I am the kind of guy who likes things to go slowly, right? "I guess so," I admitted.

- x -

The next day, I wasn't feeling too good. All that night, I kept waking up with this feeling of rage, and I ended up hardly getting any sleep. By the time class was about to start, I really wasn't in the mood for any of Haruhi's nonsense.

"About time you showed up," she said, scowling at me.

"What?" I asked.

"So, where's that assignment?" she demanded.

"I forgot it," I said.

"You forgot it?" she asked.

"I'll get it tomorrow," I said.

I didn't forget. I had only halfway finished, but I didn't want Haruhi to know that. I just wanted her to shut up.

"You're really pissing me off, you know?" she remarked.

"Yeah, well," I said. "The feeling's mutual."

"What are you pissed off about?" she asked.

"I don't know," I answered.

"You have a fight with your girlfriend?" she asked.

"Jeez," I said, suddenly remembering that Haruhi knew about Yuki. Or rather, she had guessed, and it had felt really wrong that she could do that.

"I'll bet that's what this is," she added. "You had an argument and now you're all mopey about it."

"No," I said.

"Huh?" she said. Then she guessed something even more ridiculous. "Oh, I got it. She rejected you. I see."

In a flash, there was something oddly familiar about that, though it struck me as very bizarre. When had someone rejected me?

"I could have told you that would happen," Haruhi said.

"It's not that," I said. "It's just..."

"What?" Haruhi asked. "Tell me."

Yeah, right. Me telling Haruhi about things I was uneasy about? That would be a very cold day in hell, I think.

"I think it's my mother," I lied, just saying the first thing that came to mind. "I don't know."

Haruhi then suggested, "You know what you need? You need to do something fun. Take your mind off whatever has you in this mood."

"Yeah," I admitted, "that's a good idea."

"So, what do you like to do for fun?"

"I like to read."

Haruhi seemed rather annoyed by that answer, but she wasn't really in a position to offer anything better.

- x -

By that afternoon, things had settled back down to a manageable level. I was at club and was in the middle of a book I liked, while Koizumi and Yuki were playing Othello. I looked up for a moment and noticed Miss Asahina handing out cups of tea she had just finished making.

"Thank you," Koizumi said, taking his cup.

"You're welcome," she said.

I then took a break from reading to pause and reflect for a bit. Not a bad idea, in this particular setting. If anything unpleasant suddenly came to mind, here was a very nice scene for me to fall back on. Yuki's face alone seemed like it might do the trick.

First of all, supposing that Koizumi's little light show had been real (and I'm not saying it was... just hypothetically), it had nothing to do with me. In fact, nothing bad had happened to me personally. Sure, things had gone horribly wrong for the espers, and that's unfortunate, but what could I have done about it? Nothing. There was really no point in me dwelling on it.

Secondly, whatever Miss Asahina claims to be, she seems like a really nice person. I'm certainly not one to find fault with her, though it could have been that I did meet her older self just before I lost my memory for a day. And now I suddenly had a memory of that time in the fourth grade when I had received chocolates on Valentine's day. It was on a Friday. I remember that much because everyone in class began referring to it as "black Friday." The prettiest girl in class had been this girl named "Tsubasa." Right. She was the one who had given me chocolates, and then the next week was just one terrifying incident after another. Why did I suddenly remember this? Weird. I still couldn't remember a thing about last Sunday, but I could remember something from almost seven (well, closer to six-and-a-half) years ago.

"I'm really impressed," Koizumi remarked, looking at the game board in approval.

"What?" Asahina asked.

"Huh?" Koizumi said. He then realized and answered, "Uh, no. I meant with Miss Nagato's ability to play this game. I've never quite witnessed this level of mastery."

"Oh," she said.

"Making excuses already?" I asked him.

"Huh?" he said.

"Nothing," I answered.

"You have a problem?" he asked in the nicest tone I've ever heard that question asked in.

I smirked and remarked, "No, I just find it amusing. I mean, getting beat at such a simple game."

"You think Othello is easy?" he asked.

"Looks pretty straight-forward to me," I answered.

"At first glance, sure," he admitted. "But there's this thing called parity. I wonder if you've heard of it."

"No," I replied.

He explained, "It means when you arrange things so that you can get the last move in the empty spaces of the end game. That's primarily what wins it for you when your competition is really good, like Miss Nagato."

Miss Asahina then handed me some tea, and I thanked her. "I've always just focused on the edges," I then told Koizumi.

He continued, "Edges are generally what you want, but not at the cost of parity. Many times, strategy means sacrificing an edge or even a corner for the sake of a few empty spaces in end game. Good players understand this, and they can think ahead ten or even twenty moves to that effect."

Asahina then gave Yuki some tea. "Thanks," she said.

"You sound like you really like that game," I observed.

"Well..." he said, stopping to think for a moment. "I usually do. I can already tell that it would be no fun playing against you. No offense."

"No problem," I said. Othello was never really my favorite game, anyway.

"I'll let you be white if we do," he offered.

"Is that better?" I asked.

I didn't get an answer, because right at that moment, Haruhi burst in. After having kicked the door open, then slamming it closed, she then announced, "Hey, everybody! I have a little surprise for you."

"You find an alien?" I asked her, just to annoy her.

"No," she answered. "You know, even you can't bring me down today. I'm feeling really terrific lately."

"So, how much did you make?" I asked.

Yeah. If there is ever good news for Haruhi, it's always some form of windfall or some deal she pulled off.

"I guess congratulations are in order," I said.

"Yuki's actually here?" Haruhi asked.

"You didn't expect her to come?" I asked.

"Well," she said, "this is good. Back to five. I like it. Yes."

"Good for you," I said, not completely serious.

"Yes," she said firmly. "Good for me, and you won't rain on my parade, today."

I put my book down as Haruhi went to the computer.

"Let me ask you something," I said to her.

"What?" she asked.

"Since you've had a little windfall," I said, "you mind sharing the wealth a little?"

"What are you selling?" she asked.

"I have some games you might be interested in," I offered.

"I don't want any of your games," she responded.

"I don't mean computer games," I added.

"I know what you mean," she said. "I'm not interested in your stupid board games."

"Why not?" I asked. "No one to play them with?"

"No," she answered. "It's just... Any time I play a board game with my folks, it ends in a huge fight."

"I see," I said, finding it very easy to picture that.

She then said, "I would like to buy that Eva collection off of you, though."

"Sure thing," I said. "You can have it at fifty percent off the retail price."

"Ouch," she said. "You hear that, Yuki? You give it to him for free, and he wants to bankrupt me."

I then said, "Just because I didn't pay for it doesn't mean you shouldn't."

"Is that really fair?" she asked. "Hey, Yuki. What do you think?"

"It isn't mine," Yuki smoothly answered.

"Sheesh," Haruhi complained. "Cheap bastard."

"And anyway," I added, "my mom's still watching it."

"How long is that going to be?" she asked.

"Well..." I said, taking a moment to think about it.

Asahina then asked me, "Did I hear you right? Miss Nagato gave you a DVD collection?"

"Yeah," I answered. "So?"

"Well..." she started to say.

"Hey, Mikuru!" Haruhi commanded. "Where's my tea?"

"Oh!" Asahina said. "Sorry." She then hurried over to the pot again.

"Jeez," Haruhi said. "It's like you guys are trying to get under my skin today."

- x -

Going to club had been a good idea. I think I was finally coming to grips with things, though that meant having to abandon my view of the world a little. It isn't easy to do that. It helped quite a bit to think that I was looking forward to a nice movie with Yuki over the weekend. Spending money on someone is a bit like a drug, I think. There might be a danger of becoming dependent on it, but there are worse things to be addicted to.

Even Haruhi had been in a friendly mood. I resolved to finish that assignment and have that ready to go by tomorrow. It wasn't due for a while, but there was no telling how long I'd be up to doing it.

I really liked reading, and it seemed to me that if this club continued to let me read, then the club would continue to be a good thing. If being in the club gave me a bad reputation, then that would just mean less hassle from people who couldn't put up with Haruhi's freakish behavior. It was nice to see that Yuki could apparently handle it, because I'm not sure I could have without her.

"I'm going," she said to me, shortly after Miss Asahina had left.

"Okay," I said. "I'll probably leave in a minute, myself."

"Could you hang on?" Koizumi asked. "There's something I wanted to talk about."

"Sure," I answered, "what is it?"

He hesitated and then said, "This is kind of... I'd prefer if it was just the two of us."

"What?" I said. "No, anything you want to tell me you can say in front of Yuki."

"Really?" he asked, looking around at Yuki.

I noticed some weird sense passed between those two in a moment. I wasn't sure then, but I think Yuki knew what Koizumi was about to tell me.

"I'll leave," she said, leaving right after saying that.

"Sorry," he said, "but this really isn't something I feel comfortable talking about in front of anyone else."

"Okay," I said. "Well, spit it out."

"You feeling all right?" he asked. "I mean, if you don't want to talk, we can talk some other time."

"No, I'm fine," I answered. "I just didn't sleep well last night, and I've been a little cranky all day."

"So I've noticed," he said.

I then added, "Not to mention, anytime Haruhi is in a good mood, I can't help but feel like it's at my expense, somehow."

"Believe me," he said, very sympathetically, "I know exactly what you mean."

"So...?" I asked.

He then said, "Let me ask you something. If someone told you that Miss Suzumiya was a god, how would you react to that?"

Dumbfounded? Confused? Disgusted? Maybe a little concerned about the crazy person who suggested it?

"I see," he said, answering the look on my face. "Yes, that seems about right."

"Do you think she's a god?" I asked.

"No," he answered. "I don't really believe in the whole gods thing. With everything we went through the other day, it just doesn't make any sense to me. I mean, do you really think a god would just let all that happen?"

"You mean your little light show?" I asked.

Sure, it hadn't quite gone according to plan, but he'd put on a better performance next time.

I then asked, "You're the type who loses faith pretty easily, huh?"

"So, do you believe in gods?" he asked.

I answered, "I don't think it's a good idea to be so dismissive."

He sighed and asked, "Are you still living in denial about what happened? Oh, jeez."

"Maybe we shouldn't talk about this," I suggested.

"Maybe," he agreed. "I'm sorry."

"Okay," I said, "let me ask you something. If there aren't any gods, then why are we here?"

"Because we're here," he answered.

That sounded like Haruhi's brand of logic to me.

"I know," Koizumi admitted. "I'm begging the question. Let me answer you properly. I assume you seriously want to know the answer."

"If you think you have one," I added.

"Okay," he said, "here's what I think. I don't really believe in random chance or the will of fate. That's all just a lot of mystical nonsense. What I think has happened is that we're all somehow balanced in some kind of supernatural harmony."

"What does that even mean?" I asked.

"I don't know," he answered, "to be honest, but it's the only thing that explains it. At least, to my way of thinking. What do you think?"

I replied, "I think I need to go over to Yuki's and play some games."

"Now, there's a sensible idea," he said. "You mind if I tag along?"

"If you like," I answered.

- x -

Koizumi followed as I went to Yuki's apartment. Koizumi is definitely not the type to refrain from speaking in this type of situation, so I didn't mind asking him:

"You sure you want to come along? I mean, Yuki and I just..."

"I hear you," he said, "but something tells me you'll be better off if I tag along. You know? Just in case."

"Just in case what?" I asked.

"Call it a funny feeling," he answered.

"Whatever," I said. "Don't blame me when..."

Just then, the phone began to ring, and I answered.

"Hey," I said. "What's up?"

Tsuruya asked me, "You been doing any time traveling, lately?"

"Yes," I answered. "But just forward, and at a really slow speed."

"Ah, yes," she said. "I've heard about that kind. It can be really dangerous. In fact, it's usually deadly."

Just then, I flashed back to that "light show" of Koizumi's, and I realized that I had been overlooking something really important. Now, it all made sense. That is, I finally understood why I felt so uneasy about it all.

Tsuruya continued, "'Usually?' you're supposed to say back."

"Sorry," I said, trying to clear my mind. "I just... I'm not sure what happened there for a moment."

- x -

So, now I understood what had been bugging me all night. Seeing a guy's arm ripped apart does tend to have a somewhat negative effect on the mind. I'd also watched in disbelief as one of the espers suffocated on his own blood. I recall vomiting quite uncontrollably at the time. It's hard to recall anything else, though. I recoil at the thought of trying to remember the entire incident, though I'm sure I'm going to have to one of these days.

My way of coping with all this was simple: just forget about it. Pretend it didn't happen and smile. The surest way to do that was for me to relax and enjoy myself, and that's what I began doing when we went up to Yuki's apartment. It was still bugging me in the back of my mind, but at least I could stay in control. Well, I could stay in control enough to play a video game with Yuki.

I noticed Yuki getting a little flustered at one point, and I remarked, "You know, I have a deck of cards."

"That's okay," she responded.

I added, "I find it's a little more fun if they're real."

"I prefer this," she said, looking at me and thinly smiling for a moment.

"Really?" I asked. "It just kind of seems..."

I was about to explain that video game poker didn't really have the same feeling of danger and excitement that a real game did, when I heard my phone ring again. I just assumed it was Tsuruya again with a quick follow up to the previous discussion.

"What?" I asked the phone, a little irritated.

"Hello?" said a voice on the other end.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said. "Who is this?"

"It's Ryoko Asakura," she answered. "You didn't forget about me already, did you?"

"Sorry," I said, a little embarrassed at myself. "I thought you were someone else."

I then got up to go to the table.

"So," I continued, "how's it going there in Canada?"

"It's great," she replied, "but it's been raining like mad."

I sat down at Yuki's table to pour myself some tea.

"Even more than Japan?" I asked.

She answered, "I think I've seen the sun once since I got here."

"Sorry," I said again.

"What are you sorry for?" she asked. "Anyway, I love it! It's perfect."

"The move go okay?" I asked.

"Oh, right," she answered. "I still need to unpack."

Somehow, I hadn't really pictured what it must have been like there until she mentioned the unpacking part. That reminded me of how many boxes I had left, and I began to visualize the big pile of boxes still in my room. It was weird. I hadn't really thought about the pile until now, and it made me curious what the sky might look like if it only ever rained all the time. That was a mistake, though. See, I had also forgotten that rain tends to make the sky a dull shade of gray, and that was the exact same color that the whole world takes in those "closed spaces" (as Koizumi like to call them). And that just reminded me of that feeling of vast emptiness and seclusion you get when you first enter that enclosed world. The feeling gets a lot worse, however, when you see a giant blue creature, impossibly smashing the world around it. And even that seems like nothing if you're unfortunate enough to see what happens if one of the espers involved makes a mistake.

"You know how that goes," she added.

"Actually, yes," I said, resisting the urge to panic.

"So," she continued, "are you fighting with Nagato yet?"

"Fighting?" I asked. "Why would we do that?"

"Oh, I don't know," she answered. "She is the overly-protective type. Kind of like a mother."

"Who eats lots of fast food," I remarked, starting to feel like my soul was falling out of my body and just barely managing to hang on to it.

"Which reminds me," she added. "Are you making sure she eats right?"

"No," I replied.

"No?" she said, sounding just a bit annoyed with me. "What's wrong with you? That's your job, now. I can't go back there and do your job, you know?"

"Jeez," I said, starting to wonder who this strange creature was that was still holding a phone to his ear.

"Speaking of jobs," she continued, "I got this great gig. I'm DJ-ing for a local club."

"Just like that?" I asked, though I wasn't sure why.

"I have a lot of natural talent," she explained. "It's going to get crazy."

"I have no idea what you just said," I muttered, not really able to fathom much of anything.

"Don't worry about me," she said. "You worry about yourself, okay?"

"Okay," I answered. Yeah, I'm way ahead of you there. Trust me.

"Oh, and Nagato," she added. "Don't forget!"

"Right," I said.

"Bye," she said.

"Later," I tried to say, but I couldn't quite get it out.

I put away my phone and got up from the table.

"I'll be right back."

After that, I'm not entirely certain what happened.

- x -

I have a pretty good idea what had happened, actually. I mean, the shock of having fully remembered what had happened in that gray world was bad enough, and there were suddenly a lot of other realizations I made, but it wasn't so bad that it shut my mind down completely. It just seemed to me that there was this inner me who knew exactly how to handle this type of situation. The inner me picked me up and walked me home, determined to get started on finishing that economics assignment. That was what was truly important, he seemed to be telling me.

Meanwhile, as I was walking home in a kind of daze, I began thinking that what Koizumi had been trying to demonstrate was all terribly real and that there was no way I could deny that. The effect of this trauma, however, had been to convince me of the opposite. I could see that very clearly, now. It isn't surprising. I mean, the mind can only handle so many shocking things all at once.

It was tempting to believe that it had all been some gruesome nightmare, but then that reminded me that I had had these weird shared dreams. In one of those dreams, I could recall telling a strange bluish creature that I was a different me from any other me it might have been confusing me with, but that was only starting to convince me that these creatures were savage reality. The creature had understood reality rather a bit better than I did, and I had simply refused to accept it. But then, it seemed to be much more reasonable then than now. Then again, I hadn't tried speaking with this most recent creature. It was just too horrific to imagine that it could hold a conversation. The mind would balk at the thought.

I might have rejected the dreams as a weird kind of shared false memory in the collective unconscious, had I not also been informed of time planes by a certain time traveler. The dreams were obviously not really dreams, but simply memories of things that were yet to happen (or could have happened, if that makes any sense). It felt like the past, though, and I wanted to think of it that way: as a past that had no real connection to me. Mental trickery, really. The mind is funny that way, though. The mind can create any sort of reality you want (to make you more comfortable with living in your own skin).

Of course, that just makes it easier to disbelieve the whole mess and chalk it up to something I had eaten. Obviously, it was all indigestion, I told myself. Yeah, right. That charming illusion made about as much sense as entertaining the notion of Santa Claus being a reality. Nice, but no. I was just going to have to accept it and deal with it.

A few other things occurred to me, then, but they were more amusing than anything else. I merely found myself at my desk, just about done with my copying when I finally noticed myself. A moment later, my sister noticed me, as well. I'm not normally this studious, so it must have been something of a shock for her, too.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

"Huh?" I said, taking a moment to notice that she was there.

She answered, "You've been sitting there, staring for an hour."

"I have?" I asked, wondering then who had done all this homework.

"Yeah," she answered. "It's creepy. Knock it off."

"Okay," I said, turning away from my work.

"And it's time for dinner," she added.

- x -

After dinner, I excused myself to go star-gazing. I recalled dimly that there was this event that I wouldn't want to miss coming up on August twenty-seventh: Mars was about to make its closest approach to the Earth in over fifty-thousand years. That is to say, if you had a telescope, you'd be able to see Mars more apparently bright and large than anyone (standing on the surface of this planet) within any form of recorded history had. I guess it was more the idea than any kind of reality that made it seem like it was going to be special. Haruhi no doubt had that date circled twice on her calendar.

I had only taken an interest in star-gazing because Haruhi had mentioned that one of her hobbies was using a telescope to try and spot UFOs. What a waste of a good telescope. Even so, I didn't doubt there were UFOs to be seen from time to time. I was just beginning to wonder if I'd ever see one, when I saw Yuki approaching.

"A little late for visiting," I told her, still looking up at the darkening sky.

"I know," she said.

"You just want to talk," I guessed.

"It's no fun eating beef bowl by yourself," she complained.

"Food isn't supposed to be fun," I said, taking a good look at her.

"It is for me," she said with no hint of any emotion.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"Are you really an alien?" I smoothly asked her.

"Yes," she just as smoothly answered.

I berated myself, "I'm such an idiot."

"That's not true," she said.

"I should have realized earlier," I added.

I really should have, actually. I mean, that whole medical procedure she had described made no sense, otherwise. It was just way too high-tech for me to believe that a mere human could have pulled it off. And even if she had been pulling my leg, there was still the problem of her having no parents that I could track down or anyone who could recall her having gone to middle school. There were a lot of other reasons, but I like my more mundane reasons, and in any case, I wanted to see if she would try to deny it. And part of me was still hoping it wasn't true.

I then asked, "How would you react if I told you that Haruhi was a god?"

She appeared somewhat disapproving for a moment, then remarked, "Perhaps you are an idiot."

"I don't mean I believe it," I said. "I just wondered how you would react."

"Did Koizumi tell you that?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "Well, actually, he just kind of asked me about it. I have no idea why he would ask me such a weird thing."

"Okay."

"But is it true?"

"No."

"So, why would anyone...?"

For several moments, I could only shake my head and wonder. Why? Why would anyone even think such a bizarre thing? Of all the bizarre things I had witnessed, that one would have to be by far the most weird, and it was starting to look like every bizarre thing I'd ever wished wasn't true was going to turn out to be true, whether I wanted it to be or not.

Yuki then admitted, "Suzumiya has the ability to manipulate time and space with her subconscious mind."

"And that's not a god?" I asked.

She answered, "A god would exercise conscious control, would they not?"

At first, it seemed like a trivial distinction. Why bother even discriminating? But then I realized that (for Haruhi) there was a pretty big difference between what she could accept consciously and what she could accept unconsciously. I mean, just look at how much hell I had gone through over this little (admittedly life and death) incident. I'm no stranger to traumatic incidents. Nevertheless, it had shredded almost two weeks of my life, and would no doubt haunt me for years. Just imagine how Haruhi would have reacted.

Yuki then added, "There is a faction of humans who believe such."

"I see," I said. And that faction was probably related to the espers.

She then asked, "Are you going to be okay?"

"I don't know," I said, honestly wondering whether I was or not.

"I think you will," she stated.

"Why is that?" I asked.

"Something you wrote," she explained.

"Oh," I said. I really should have seen that coming, too. Maybe I am an idiot.

"I should go," she said.

"Hold on a sec," I told her. "Before you go, I'd like to ask you something."

"Go ahead," she said.

"Is it possible for aliens to... you know? Feel that way?"

"Maybe you'll find out."


	35. Bamboo

- Chapter 5: Bamboo

Having recovered nicely from a bit of unpleasantness, I felt ready to finally tackle the assignment that was on my todo list, then suddenly remembered that I'd nearly finished it already. Conveniently, I then remembered that I had just discovered the location of my favorite book for comedy, which I had thought was lost forever in the move. I picked up the book and began reading it, considering it a nice little reward for having finished my work early.

The story, appropriately enough, concerned a certain detective who was involved with a mysterious time traveler. The time traveler, it turned out, was trying to prevent a crime that she herself had committed a long time ago, but the detective just barely managed to stop her. Thus, he learned of his profound error, though he did manage to preserve the status quo of his bumbling and failure. He returned to his own time to discover his partner was not just furious at him for mishandling the case, but for also ruining her life in the process.

Reading this story in light of the curious events recently gave the book a whole new aspect for me. I began to see myself as the bumbling detective, and I couldn't help but think of the time traveler as Miss Asahina. It made the story especially funny, and some of the more potently tragic scenes made me a little sad (though they had never affected me before).

I looked at my phone, thinking about Yuki and her odd situation (which actually began to make some sense, now that I knew more about it), becoming annoyed by the fact that she never calls me (except to relay messages from Asakura). Well, I'd just have to deal with it. Just as I was wondering if I'd get a call from anyone, the phone rang, but it was just Koizumi. Figures.

"Hey," I said, answering.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked. "Why'd you run out on us?"

"I can't remember," I replied.

"Oh," he said.

I then added, "Oh, but I do remember what happened the other day."

"So..." he started, then after a few moments, said, "Oh, I see. You weren't living in denial about it. You'd just..."

"Yeah," I said. "I blacked it out."

"Completely?" he asked.

I answered, "I can remember bits and pieces of it, now. It just seems so horrible."

"I know," he agreed. "Honestly, I've fought dozens of those things, but I've never seen anyone killed by one."

"Really?" I asked.

He answered, "To be perfectly honest, I was an inch away from a nervous breakdown at the time. It was kind of a good thing you were there to help calm me down."

"I did?" I asked. "I don't remember doing that."

He began laughing and complained, "Oh jeez."

"Weird," I remarked. "I mean, how the mind plays tricks on you like this."

"Yeah," he said. "I really need to stop talking about it. So, who was that on the phone just before you left?"

"That?" I answered. "That was Miss Asakura."

"Your class president?" he asked. "I mean, former class president."

"Yeah," I answered.

"Everything okay with her?"

"Sure. Actually, she sounded like things were going better than expected."

"Things do tend to turn out well for her, I've noticed."

"Yeah. She has a knack for that."

"Okay. Well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Later."

- x -

Just before dawn, I had a strange dream. It was about that gray world and the giant blue creature that Koizumi called a "celestial." I felt oddly at peace with everything that was happening, though I knew exactly what was to befall everyone. One of the espers flew a little too low in his approach and was caught by a sudden leg movement in the blue creature's thrashing around. It had just been smashing the gray copies of buildings, and not actually causing any harm at all. It probably didn't even notice it had just wounded one of the espers, in fact.

From there, it was all downhill: some of the espers panicking and getting caught up in the mayhem of the celestial's return arm-strike, some of the espers freezing up and only really capable of watching, as I was. The dream didn't last very long, though. The mayhem would start and then I kept thinking I should have done something. It seemed weird, but in the dream it really felt like there was something I was capable of that I can't think of at all now that I'm awake. A dream is like that, though. Dreams are like shy, impossibly nice people who keep insisting that there must have been something you could have done, make you feel guilty, then go off to mess with someone else.

I woke up, and the feeling fled from me like a mouse from a cat. In a way, it was a little refreshing, and at last I didn't feel like smashing my fist through the door on the way out of my bedroom. I did feel a little irritated that I still had Haruhi's assignment, but that business would be brief. I would make certain of it. I did not want a repeat of that earlier indignity (which I will not describe in detail, thank you very much).

As I had told Tsuruya earlier, I had the feeling there was something sexual in Haruhi's manner. It wasn't just some hunch or an odd impression, but more like a certainty in the back of my mind. That certainty had made her seem more familiar but also less attractive. (I know some people like to say opposites attract or some similar stupidity, but I had never seen any reason to believe it.) It was a very disconcerting impression, given how much I know that familiarity breeds sympathy and a natural yearning. Of course, I could be wrong. She may have been flirting with me. I do tend to be somewhat oblivious to that. It's just hard to imagine in her case.

I spent about ten minutes fighting the urge to skip school, and then I left the house. I hadn't gone far before I encountered Haruhi, waiting at the corner for me to show up.

"Not fully awake, I see," she remarked.

"Whoa!" I said. "Where did you come from?"

"You got that assignment?" she asked.

"Huh?" I said, still recovering from her being here in the first place. "Oh... Yeah," I said, taking out the papers from my bag. "Here you go."

"Just making sure you didn't forget," she explained. "This is due on Monday."

"Which is..." I said, counting on my mental fingers, "...in three more days. You like to get a jump on this kind of thing?"

She answered, "I like to get it over with. Otherwise, it's just a huge distraction."

"I see," I said.

I started up the hill toward school, and Haruhi followed along with me. Her earlier foray in speaking to me while walking had been rather awkward, and I expected her to try again. Sure enough, she said, "You should be grateful, you know."

"I am," I said. "I'm just still in a really crappy mood."

She then added, "Maybe I shouldn't admit this, but I did kind of have thing for you."

"Huh?" I said, a little startled.

"But you're the type who likes bookworms, huh?" she asked.

"Oh," I said, just to go along. "Yeah, that's me. I don't fall for the first weirdo I come across."

"That's too bad," she said. "It would have been fun, you know?"

"I doubt that," I said, grimacing at the thought of her idea of fun.

She just grimly laughed and clarified, "I meant, for me."

"Oh..." I said, realizing. It was worse than I imagined. She knew.

She then complained, "Now all I have to look forward to is stupid high school. Lame."

"Yeah," I said a little facetiously, "that's pretty tragic."

I got the feeling there that she had tried to make a joke, and I had ruined it with my cynical attitude toward school.

I then seriously added, "For what it's worth, you are pretty cute. It would have been hard to resist you."

"Sheesh," she said, looking away. "Jerk."

"It's true," I said, assuming she thought I was joking.

"That's why it's upsetting," she explained.

"Right," I said, wondering how far I would end up putting my foot in my mouth.

She then asked, "So, what's up with Koizumi? What did he want to talk about?"

"You heard about that?" I asked.

"I was in the room," she stated.

"Really?" I said. "I didn't see you there."

She added, "I left because Yuki was giving me the stink-eye."

"It wasn't really all that interesting," I answered. "Just the usual problems with money and all that."

"I could help him out," she remarked.

"I don't think so," I said.

"It's no big deal," she added. "Well, whatever. Take it or leave it. Makes no difference to me."

"Really?"

"I could use some more money, though."

"How much?"

"How much you got?"

I did have some money, but it was earmarked specifically for dating Yuki. As such, I considered myself to be flat broke, where Haruhi was concerned.

"Jeez," I said.

She then said, "I'd say about ten million should cover my expenses."

"Damn," I remarked. "You aren't cheap, that's for sure."

"I'm poor, is what I am," she complained. "This sucks."

"You're richer than me," I said.

"How would you know that?" she asked.

"Because you have money, right?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"Well, there you go," I casually added. "Flaunting your wealth in my face, too."

"Oh, give it a rest," she said. "It's not like guys need money, anyway."

- x -

I went to club after school that day, fully intending to try my hand at Othello. Koizumi was busy with some school business, and Yuki had had a sudden beef bowl craving. That left me alone with Miss Asahina, though not for long. I was looking for a book to read from the shelves and beginning to realize that nothing there would fit my mood, when Haruhi suddenly entered. Asahina flinched at the sound of the door suddenly slamming open, and I casually turned to take notice.

"Yuki isn't here?" Haruhi immediately asked.

"No," I answered, "she had a situation."

"Nothing serious, is it?" she asked.

I softly replied, "I don't think so."

"That's good," Haruhi remarked, going to the window. She looked down at the school grounds and added, "She's such a shorty."

"You're one to talk," I said, thinking that Haruhi wasn't a whole lot taller. Maybe about three inches, if that much.

"Are you sure she's a girl?" she asked.

"Are you?" I asked back.

"Anyway," she said, "I've found another seller."

"What?" I said.

She answered, "I'm getting that Eva collection. I mean, I found someone on the internet."

"Really?"

"It's dirt cheap, and four episodes per disc. Cool, huh?"

"This isn't a Hong Kong knock-off, is it?"

"No. I found a seller in the US. Did you know that four on a disc is pretty typical there?"

"No, I didn't."

"Plus, it's all dual-audio. English and Japanese. That's better than that collection you have."

"Yeah, right."

"Admit it, you're jealous."

"I got it for free."

You're probably aware by now that the undercurrent of this discussion was Haruhi's jealousy. She wasn't quite ready to let go, but I was making it quite clear that she never had a hold on me to begin with. Everybody got that? Good. Let's continue.

"Plus," I added, "you have to wait for them to reverse-import it."

"'Reverse?'" she sneered. "I ain't Bandai, so it's an import."

"An import of a Japanese product," I said, getting a little indignant at her attitude.

"Don't look at me like that," she said.

I sighed and admitted, "You're right. I am jealous. So, how much did they ask?"

"That's the sweet part," she said, grinning madly. "I just paid for shipping."

"Wow, no kidding?" I asked.

"And all on eight discs," she said.

"Hmm..." I said, calculating. Eight times four...

Haruhi then said, "It's a lot of wasted space with a normal collection. Plus, I would like to compare that dub with the original voice acting."

"I'll bet it sucks," I predicted.

"Probably," she agreed.

"Um..." said Asahina. "Excuse me, but I think you meant to say Gainax."

"Huh?" Haruhi said.

Asahina answered, "You said 'Bandai' before, but I think it was actually..."

Haruhi then grumbled, "Bandai? Gainax? What's the difference?"

"I guess you're not really much of a fan," I remarked.

Asahina then softly said, "I'll go get us something to drink."

"I'll help," I quickly volunteered, not wanting to be left alone with Haruhi just then.

- x -

I wasn't just going along with Asahina to the soda machine. I had a few things to ask her. Okay, I was really just going along, but can you blame me? But I really did have some things to talk about, and probably not what you're thinking.

"So," I started, "have you thought of a wish for Tanabata?"

"I don't know," she answered. "It's so hard to think of anything."

I said, "I'm leaning toward 'world peace,' myself."

Asahina had a worried look and warned, "I thought she said..."

She specifically forbade world peace, yeah. I told her, "You don't have to do what she says, you know."

"Even so..." Asahina said, looking down and seemingly unable to continue.

"This is school," I casually explained. "If she gives you any trouble, just tell her it's for a homework assignment. And anyway, you can always count on me. I won't let her push you around."

"Really?" she asked.

"Of course," I answered. "Now that I think about it, though, I might go with something a little more creative than 'world peace.' That does sound boring, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," she admitted.

I then asked her my first question, "Was I really a writer in your time whatever?"

"Time plane," she answered. "Yes. You wrote quite a lot, actually. Not just autobiographical."

"I guess I shouldn't ask what it was," I said.

She then stated, "It wouldn't matter even if I could tell you. I mean, after all..."

"Right," I said. "Things are very different in this plane."

"It's more than just that," she said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She seemed a little reluctant to answer, and I spent a few moments wondering what it was.

"Is it because of Yuki?" I asked.

"No..." she answered. "I mean, there was an event that occurred six years ago."

"An event?"

"Yeah. There was this time quake, and we think Miss Suzumiya might have caused it."

"Time quake?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm not quite sure how to explain it."

My head was spinning. Even more weirdness to absorb. It never ends, apparently.

I then asked, "How can time have a quake? And why would it occur at a particular time?"

"I really have no idea," she softly admitted, "and I suspect that even if I did..."

"Huh?" I said. "Oh, right. You'd just say, 'That's classified.'"

"Yeah," she said.

I then asked, "So, what's the big deal about time quakes?"

"Well," she explained, "it makes it impossible to explore the past before that point. I'm not sure why, but it just does."

"Weird," I remarked.

"Anyway..." she said, collecting up the sodas and starting back toward club. I followed along beside her as she continued, "One of the reasons I'm here is to try to understand why that is and figure out a way around it, if I can."

"I see," I said.

"You really shouldn't tell Miss Suzumiya, though," she warned.

"Don't worry," I said. "I won't."

"Thanks," she said. "I have a feeling things would go really crazy if you did."

"I can imagine," I added.

- x -

Yes. Telling Haruhi any of this would just be quite pointless, and I had a feeling that Yuki would have become upset with me if I had tried. Yuki had warned me about Haruhi, and it seemed to me that Haruhi was a borderline nut job anyway. No sense in feeding her occult frenzy with any real craziness.

It then occurred to me that what Yuki had told me was plausible. Haruhi had started the year by declaring that she had wanted to meet aliens, time travelers, and espers. And that's exactly what had happened. It had all happened outside of her awareness, but it had happened, nevertheless. It was truly disturbing: this thought that Yuki might have been right about her.

I had just reached this determination, when I noticed Tsuruya about to join me at the stairs.

"Oh, hey," I said.

"Going down?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered, and we started down the stairs. "I just realized that midterms are coming up," I started.

"Bad news for you," she remarked.

"I think I'll do okay," I softly added.

"Well enough," she sort of agreed.

"That's right," I said.

She laughed and assured me, "Don't worry. I don't think being my slave will be all that demanding, mentally."

I then asked, "You mind if I ask you something personal?"

"Oh boy!" she exclaimed. "I can't wait!"

I stopped and looked at her, a little annoyed by that reaction.

She then feigned a ridiculously serious face, "I mean, sure. If you insist."

"Can't you take anything seriously?" I asked.

"That's your question?" she quipped.

I had to mentally applaud her commitment to making light of this, but it was really starting to get on my nerves.

"Sorry," she said, "what did you want to ask?"

"Do you really hate Koizumi so much?" I asked her, thinking of an earlier conversation and wondering what that had been about.

She burst out laughing and said, "You're hilarious."

"Serves me right for asking," I muttered.

She then remarked, "I can't believe you'd ask me such a serious question."

"Well, one thing is for sure," I said. "I don't think I need to worry so much about Haruhi hitting on me."

"Why is that?" she asked.

I answered, "She gave me her not-so-tearful confession this morning. Totally blew me off like it was nothing."

Tsuruya continued laughing as she said, "Well, you are nothing, right?"

"Thanks a lot," I said, sarcastically. "You know, I could become a writer someday."

"Yeah, right," she said.

"It probably would suck," I admitted.

"So, write something," she said. "Just make sure you let me read it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I love books, but just make sure it isn't all boring stuff and conversation. I hate that."

"I'll keep that in mind."

- Fin

- x -

- Extra

- Convenient

The Library. Kyon is reading and Koizumi appears.

Koizumi: Comic books?

Kyon: Oh, hey. Yeah.

Koizumi: Comics are for kids, you know?

Kyon: I guess I'm a kid, then.

Koizumi: You sure about that? You seem more to me like a grumpy old man.

Kyon: You wanted something? Or are you just here to pester me?

Koizumi sits across from him.

Koizumi: Actually, I was wondering about something.

Kyon: Oh?

Koizumi: Yeah. You've been moving to a place just up the street from the school, right?

Kyon: Yeah.

Koizumi: That's really convenient.

Kyon: It's a pain, is what it is.

Koizumi: The moving part, sure. But you have to admit that living close to school is making life a lot easier.

Kyon: I don't know about that. Mom just gives me more to do, since I'm spending less time walking home.

Koizumi: You really should visit the club.

Kyon: This again?

Koizumi: Think about it. You go to club and your mother calls... you can use club as an excuse. Meanwhile, you can hang out and chat or read or play games...

Kyon: That does sound convenient.

- x -

- Akiba

Kyon and Haruhi, walking down a sidewalk.

Haruhi: That was a lucky break for you, you know?

Kyon: What?

Haruhi: Eva? Man, I love that show.

Kyon: Oh, yeah.

Haruhi: I always wanted to get that, but nobody ever had it on sale.

Kyon: I was kind of wondering about that.

Haruhi: You like her, don't you?

Kyon: No.

Haruhi: (laughing) Liar. Why can't you admit it?

Kyon: If you're so sure, then why did you ask?

Haruhi: I just wanted to see the look on your face.

Kyon: Sheesh.

Haruhi: She is pretty cool. Not many people would go all the way to Akiba for a set of DVDs.

Kyon: Hmm...

Haruhi: My dad once took me to Akiba.

Kyon: Really?

Haruhi: It was really amazing.

Kyon: You're into that kind of thing, huh?

Haruhi: Huh? No, I meant that it was amazing how much money he spent.

Kyon: Oh.

Haruhi: I thought it was kind of crazy the amounts he spent just for a few models and stuff, but then I found out later that it's all like that. You know how much they want for one of those figures?

Kyon: I have no idea.

Haruhi: They have these anime figures, and they cost like thousands of yen. Don't you think that's crazy? I mean, it's just a few yen worth of plastic.

Kyon: Is it crazy?

Haruhi: Definitely.

- x -

- Formalities

Yuki and Kyon arrive at Tsuruya's.

Kyon: Wow. She really lives here?

Yuki: You didn't know?

Kyon: I've only ever spoken to her at school or over the phone. This is...

Yuki: There are some formalities to which we should adhere.

Kyon: Yeah... That kind of makes sense.

- x -

- I hate that guy

Kyon (still on the phone) and Koizumi, walking down the sidewalk to Yuki's apartment.

Tsuruya: You all right?

Kyon: I feel fine. How about you?

Tsuruya: I think I'll be okay. So, you're walking home with your girlfriend?

Kyon: (laughing) I wish. No, it's just Koizumi.

Tsuruya: I hate that guy.

Kyon: So, you've met.

Tsuruya: Is he still smirking?

Kyon: Let me check. (looks) Yeah. Still looks like he just stole a kiss from a girl and the girl didn't even notice.

Tsuruya: Sheesh.

Koizumi: Are you talking about me?

Kyon: And now he just asked if I'm talking about him.

Tsuruya: Tell him, 'YES! WE ARE! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? YOU BASTARD!'

Kyon: No need to yell.

Tsuruya: Did he hear me?

Kyon: I think you made a few passersby look at me funny. Yes.

Koizumi: Yes, I heard.

Kyon: I take it you didn't part on agreeable terms.

Tsuruya: I like that Haruhi girl. She's a trip.

Kyon: She is.

Tsuruya: And Mikuru, of course. Wouldn't want her to feel left out, even when she can't hear me.

Kyon: Well, I'm at Yuki's now. So, I'm hanging up.

Tsuruya: Hey!

Kyon hangs up.

Koizumi: You were talking to?

Kyon: Oh, that was Tsuruya.

Koizumi: I see.

Kyon: Yeah.

Koizumi: You have my condolences.

Kyon: Very funny.

- x -

- The critic

At the club room. Haruhi is reading a comic book, and Kyon does a double-take.

Kyon: What the? Oh, right. I see you're enjoying that Miyazaki classic.

Haruhi: Hey, Kyon. Yeah, you did recommend this as the "epitome of fine comics" the other day.

Kyon: So, what do you think?

Haruhi: Not bad. I like the big cavalry battle scene in book two. That was awesome.

Kyon: It is, isn't it?

Haruhi: The pacing and the suggested action is really excellent, but...

Kyon: But...?

Haruhi: I'm not liking where this plot is headed.

Kyon: The plot?

Haruhi: Does this guy even think about plot? This ending is probably going to suck.

Kyon: (muttering) Are you even Japanese?

Haruhi: What?

Kyon: Nothing. So, what's wrong with the plot?

Haruhi: It's all too centered around Nausicaa and her angst naturalist psychic orgy. It's shamelessly self-indulgent in that way. This will probably end with her preaching to the villain about how everything should become recklessly naturalistic, right? Miyazaki is obviously a naturalist fanatic.

Kyon: ...

Haruhi: Don't get me wrong. I love the dialogue and the art. The story is amazing. I just can't make myself like that kind of humorless and degenerate plotting.

Kyon: (sigh) You're hopeless.

- x -

- The brain

At Yuki's. Kyon reads while Yuki plays a video game.

Kyon: You get enough beef bowl?

Yuki: Yes.

Kyon: You really like that stuff, huh?

Yuki: Yes.

Kyon: Because of that brain surgery?

Yuki: No. It may be genetic.

Kyon: Oh, because of your gene therapy?

Yuki: Because I like it.

Kyon: So, what was that surgery about?

Yuki: I had a malfunctioning processor.

Kyon: And that was it?

Yuki: Given the circumstances, it was deemed expedient to administer the therapy and rehabilitation.

Kyon: Who exactly was making all these decisions?

Yuki: My subordinate, for one.

Kyon: Who?

Yuki: Ryoko Asakura.

Kyon: I see.

Yuki: I wasn't conscious when the procedure was detailed, so I can only surmise.

Kyon: That's too bad.

Yuki: Why the interest in this topic?

Kyon: Just curious. I still can't remember that one Sunday. The brain is mysterious, isn't it?

Yuki: Yes.

Kyon: You don't happen to know how I lost my memory, do you?

Yuki: I think I do.

Kyon: Yeah?

Yuki: Yes.

Kyon: Do I want to know?

Yuki: ...

Kyon: What?

- x -

- The purpose

Yuki: Another question?

Kyon: If you'll indulge me.

Yuki: What is it?

Kyon: What exactly did you mean the other day when you said, "common purpose?"

Yuki: A brief suspension of activity.

Kyon: You mean, like... we both need a vacation?

Yuki: Exactly.

Kyon: That does sound appealing.

- x -

- A conversation with an imaginary author

Proofreader: Hibiki is back. Yay! This is me doing my happy dance.

Author: You like that character?

Proofreader: Of course. I created her.

Author: So you did.

Proofreader: I should write an entire volume that's just about her.

Author: Which time plane?

Proofreader: This one, of course. This would be her big breakthrough. I mean, you've already got Asakura hobnobbing with disreputable types. Once Hibiki starts getting a load of that, she would be so envious, she'd run away that very moment.

Author: Is that scene really necessary? It just seems a little...

Proofreader: Sure it is. That scene convinces Kyon that the dreams were real, which in turn, causes him to realize that Koizumi was telling him the truth once he hears Tsuruya say the word 'deadly.' It's like a big literary jigsaw puzzle.

Author: (sigh)

Proofreader: I admit it does seem a bit gratuitous...

Author: Thank you.

- x -


	36. The Millennium

Origins of Haruhi - Interminable Eight

- x -

- Foreword

Since this story is a little longer than usual, I'll dispense with the usual analysis and just let you get right into it. First, however, I'd like to point out that this story paints a picture with a very broad brush. Each particular chapter covers five moments in time, and those moments are like the turning points in this story. It puts me into a sentimental mood, so it's probably just as well that I'm not doing an in-depth analysis. As for questions you probably have that this story doesn't answer: I can only say that I'm in the same boat as you. As satisfying as this story is, it leaves me with a lot more questions than answers, but then that's true of my life, too.

- x -

- Chapter 1: The Millennium

Friday, March 19, 1999.

Long before I'd ever heard the name Haruhi Suzumiya, I had become fascinated by the human mind. My studies weren't altogether thorough, but the subject was already familiar. I didn't anticipate that my studies would lead me on a path that included having a knife stuck in my guts, but it's not really all that surprising to me, considering how I had gotten started down that path.

Before I recount that particular story, I'd like to skip ahead a bit to the interesting part of my life that didn't include a strange trip through time. I think it's important that you know the others involved. I didn't really recollect that earlier incident in detail until much later. And, as Haruhi would say, the story is much more interesting this way.

Who I am is unimportant. I'm just a guy who snuck into his aunt's bedroom and used her computer without her permission. That was my first mistake. My second was finding a forum on strange phenomena and briefly mentioning that I had had a brief encounter with a time traveler. That had spurred some private messages, many of them just polite encouragements, many of them briefly skeptical in some rude way.

One private message caught my eye, though. It was from someone who took me oddly seriously, and I suspected that it was some kind of internet stalker. I questioned this person at length about various details, and discovered that she had been involved in that situation. In fact, she had turned out to be an object of some seriously wild speculation that I had forgotten up to that point. She was an innocent bystander, but she could recall enough details to convince me that there was something more than merely perverse curiosity in her motives.

She was especially impressed by the fact that I could surmise her real name, so she set up a meeting with me at a coffee shop. We had settled on noon of that day, since it worked out well, though probably it was a little more convenient for me.

As I sat at a table waiting, I immediately noticed when Haruhi entered, having pictured in my mind what she might look like. It wasn't hard. She was about my age, and possessed a distinctive attractiveness that would have been hard to miss. I became a little too excited and called out to her, "Hey! Over here!"

She immediately turned and said, "Sheesh. Keep it down."

"Just making sure you noticed," I explained.

"I ain't deaf," she complained, sitting across from me.

"Anyway," I added, "it isn't like there's someone listening."

"There could be," she warned.

She struck me as oddly casual for someone apparently so stuck up. That was just my first impression. The impression made me wonder about her.

"What?" I asked. "Are you paranoid?"

She answered, "Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get me."

I briefly wondered who it was she was referring to, but then she scowled at me.

"That was a joke," she said.

"Oh," I said, slowly realizing where the attempted humor had been.

I then took a moment to order us some drinks.

She asked, "So, are you new in town?"

"I'm here visiting my aunt," I answered. "I'm not moving here for another week."

"Don't you have a graduation ceremony at your school?"

"I've already been. And anyway, I'm still only in fifth grade."

"I got a crummy ceremony to go to next week."

"That sucks."

"Can you pay? I mean, for a few drinks?"

"Don't worry about it. My mom thinks I went to the mall."

My mother was busy, shopping for furniture and miscellaneous items for apartment living. It wouldn't take her very long, but I figured I could mess around until early afternoon. She would somehow know, though. Mothers always find out when you're up to no good.

"Yeah," I added, "I probably will get scolded later. I'm used to it."

"Did you really...?" Haruhi started to ask.

"I recognized you just now," I answered. "For me, it was only a couple years ago."

"That's weird," she remarked.

"You're telling me?" I said.

"I didn't recognize you," she answered.

"Well, duh," I explained. "I mean, you saw two of me and that girl, right?"

She thought for a moment and answered, "It really seemed to me like a woman and her three kids, but..."

"Yeah," I said. "One of the kids looked a little too much like her mother, right?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"There you go," I said, taking a sip of my freshly-arrived drink.

"But why?" she asked.

I thought about it for a moment, then answered, "We were there to stop the other two. They'd gone to the wrong time."

"And that guy was an older version of you?" she asked. "Who was the girl?"

"I can't tell you that," I replied.

"Why not?" she asked.

"It's a secret," I answered. "I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone."

"You've gotta be kidding me," she muttered.

I added, "I really shouldn't be telling you this much, but I figured it wouldn't hurt anybody."

It seemed strangely right at the time to being telling her this. It wasn't so much that she deserved to know or that she had a right to know as much as the fact that this was simply a strange part of her life, and it is pretty cool that she could share in some of the mystery of it. It was a very small event, and merely being a witness wouldn't really change anything. Or so I thought.

"So," she added, "that girl is a time traveler..."

"Yeah," I said. "That was probably the last time we'll see them, though. I can't imagine time travelers like to make their presence known."

She sighed and softly complained, "Dang it."

"But that is pretty cool, right?" I asked.

"I just wish I could be sure," she said.

"I'm pretty sure it really happened," I remarked. "It's just too bad you have such a crummy memory."

"It didn't seem important at the time," she explained.

I softly admitted, "No, I guess it wouldn't have."

- x -

Saturday, July 10, 1999.

My little sister was starting elementary that year, so there was that one year when we went to school together. It seemed like I had just gotten used to the idea of going to a nice school and helping take care of sister when Haruhi began to look me up. She started calling me at home over the course of a month, and then she proposed to come over for a visit.

I hadn't seen her place, but I knew it was on another side of town. It seemed a little crazy to want to go so far out of your way just for a visit, so I wasn't sure what to expect.

When she appeared at the door, I mentioned, "I didn't expect you to actually come over."

"So, this is where you live?" she asked.

I then went to the living room, and she followed.

"Yeah," I answered, "but it's just till my dad can find a job."

"Is he around?" she asked.

"No."

"Are you alone, here?"

"You must have just missed my mom. She took little sister shopping with her."

I went to the sofa in front of the TV, and lounged there. The living room was really just one corner of the apartment. The sofa was next to a sliding glass door that opened onto a small balcony, so we had a nice cooling breeze. We didn't have the otherwise obligatory chimes because my mother learned the hard way a few years ago that I had liked to collect chimes. I would hide them away, squirrel like, and my mother would puzzle for hours why. I could never figure it out, myself.

"I don't know," I told her. "There's not that much to do. I've just been watching TV."

"Baseball?" she asked.

"I can change it, if you want," I answered.

She then asked, "Your dad's unemployed?"

"No," I replied, "he just doesn't like the idea of moving here."

"I thought you said he worked in a garage," she recalled.

"He does," I explained. "He just works in a garage in a small seaside village. He said he doesn't really like the 'big city' and all that."

"Oh, I see," she said, sitting at the sofa next to me.

My mother was familiar with the area, and she seemed to like working here, so it was no big deal for us to be living here. It just seemed a little weird to be living in an apartment, even if it was just for a year or two. I had always lived in a small town up till this point, and the newness of living in a suburb was only starting to wear off, then.

"I hate baseball," Haruhi complained.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Baseball is boring."

She then added, "I mean, I hate thinking about it. Baseball is fun."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You're in sixth grade, right?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied, only a little annoyed to not get an answer to my question.

She then asked, "You have a middle school you're going to?"

"Not yet," I replied. "Why?"

She answered, "My parents are sending me to East."

"Oh, okay," I said, though I'd had no clue where that school was.

She then smoothly asked, "You realize we're still in grade school at the turn of the millennium?"

"Yeah," I answered. "So?"

"Doesn't it seem weird?" she asked.

"It's just another year," I answered. "And anyway, the millennium doesn't technically start until 2001. This next year is just the first year in eighteen-hundred years that will start with a two. Going by the Gregorian calendar, that is."

She folded her arms and complained, "You really know how to spoil the fun in things, don't you?"

"You sure you aren't describing yourself?" I asked.

"You sure you're really a kid?" she asked.

"You are describing yourself, aren't you?"

"You're a trouble maker, you know?"

"Me?"

"You're the one hanging around with a time traveler, getting in adventures."

"That was just one time."

"Right."

"It's true."

I sat up, starting to wonder where all this doubt was coming from.

She then asked, "Why would a time traveler be hanging around with you, anyway?"

"Heck if I know," I admitted.

"You're some kind of ancestor of hers?" she asked.

"I doubt that," I answered.

She then flatly asked, "What aren't you telling me? You promised to keep stuff secret."

"Yeah, I did," I smoothly answered. "And that's why I'm not telling you."

"I'll bet you don't have anything else," she prompted.

"Suit yourself," I said.

"I'll drag that name out of you, one day," she softly predicted.

"Keep dreaming," I said, close to laughing.

- x -

Thursday, May 4, 2000.

The rest of that year was much the same as every other year I had encountered in my life. I can't even say that my trip through time had been all that strange, but the thing I began to notice lately was how strange Haruhi was. Or rather, I should say that she has a strange attitude toward everything. I had this weird feeling that (although she's an only-child) she has this invisible older sister. I began to picture in my mind what that sister might be like: a charming, level-headed angel who was generally liked and admired by all those around her. It went a long way toward explaining Haruhi, but that was mainly because I had become mystified by birth-rank psychology at the time.

Meanwhile, I had begun my middle school life with very little fanfare. It seemed much the same as elementary school, just with a uniform. Actually, if I had to pick a favorite year, it would probably be this one. It had nothing to do with the millennium. It just seemed to me that school was finally starting to take seriously my need for some explanations about how things worked and why they worked the way they did. Why do adults hide this information when you're in elementary school? Who knows? I was just barely young enough to really appreciate it, and just barely old enough to qualify for those doors to finally open, though. And it was a very good feeling. I spent most of my time in the local library.

Meanwhile, Haruhi had spent all her time trying to one-up her invisible sister with strange pranks, though I recall one particular incident had shown that she could exhibit a small degree of lucidity, even in the midst of her weird explorations. It was late one evening on the roof of that apartment where I still lived. She had hauled over a telescope, and she was scanning the sky in what seemed like a random pattern.

"Jeez," she complained. "There's just nothing."

"What's that?" I asked, pointing in roughly the same direction she was looking.

"In Canis Minor?" she answered. "That's Procyon."

"No," I said, "I mean that blinking light."

"Oh," she said. "Looks like a jet."

Haruhi was an interesting test case. My ideas of how the mind worked were always severely tested by the things I observed in her, and I had long since worked up a profile on her. Aside from my foray into modified birth-rank, I began to get the impression that she had been dazzled by too much television as a child. In particular, I could see signs of the effects of having watched too much X-Files and Star Trek. What was disturbing was not so much that her mother would let her watch garbage like that, as much as the fact that she apparently absorbed it like a sponge.

I remarked, "It's probably a little too early to see a UFO."

"I'm not looking for UFOs," she responded. "Yet."

"What are you looking for?" I asked.

"Something," she answered. "Anything."

"You spot one of the planets?" I asked.

"The planets?" she asked, turning to look at me briefly. "No, the planets were up with the sun, remember?"

"What?" I asked, drawing a blank.

"Don't you know what today is?" she asked.

"Was there supposed to be something special about today?" I asked.

She sighed and said, "Never mind."

"Was today some weird planet day?" I asked, vaguely recalling something about Mars and Venus on the news, but not really listening at the time.

She answered, "There aren't any planets out right now. Well, there's Pluto in the East, but that's..."

"What's that?" I asked, pointing at the brightest star I could see.

"That's Arcturus in Bootes," she smoothly answered.

"Okay..." I said, looking around. "What's that?"

"That's Spica in Virgo," she replied.

"Hmm... Okay, how about that?"

"You mean in Leo? That's Regulus."

"You sure know a lot about astronomy."

"This sucks."

I didn't think we'd see spaceships or floating lights or whatever it was that Haruhi expected to see. I was starting to get lost in it all, when a gust of wind came along and reminded me where I was.

"It's starting to get cold," I complained, blowing on my hands to warm them.

"You never studied astronomy?" she asked.

"Have I ever told you that I hate heights?" I asked.

"We aren't up that high," she commented.

"High enough," I remarked.

Ordinarily, Haruhi was inclined to do something crazy like waving flashlights at the sky or shooting off firecrackers for no apparent reason. In this particular incident, it seemed like Haruhi was taking a more passive approach. It seemed to me like she was possibly calming to a more ordinary state, but I later realized that she was simply swinging from one extreme to the other like someone suffering from bipolar disorder.

"What are they waiting for?" she complained. "Jeez."

"Who?" I asked.

"The aliens," she answered, as if she were speaking of a group of friends. "I thought they should have been here for sure, by now."

"Aliens?" I said, not willing to believe she had actually said that.

"Yeah," she said.

"You expected aliens to show up?" I asked, not sure I was wanting to know the answer.

"Would have been nice for a start," she added. "This is so unfair. You get to travel through time, and I don't see a single alien."

I thought about it for a moment, but it just made no sense. Much as I like the law of conservation, I don't think it applies to every conceivable situation. I admitted, "Somehow, I doubt the universe works the way you're thinking."

"You don't believe in aliens?" she asked.

"I think there probably are aliens," I answered. "Somewhere in the universe, that is."

She then asked, "Wouldn't it make sense for them to be somewhere nearby, though?"

"How do you figure?" I asked.

She replied, "Well, a civilization wouldn't live anywhere but a planet, right?"

"I guess so," I answered.

She continued, "And you can't have planets in the middle of nowhere. I don't think you'd have planets in the middle of a galaxy. That just leaves the arms. Systems that are hospitable to life would almost have to be in a sparse part of a galaxy."

"Okay," I conceded. "So, maybe there's aliens on the other side of the galaxy."

"Sheesh," she complained.

"It isn't just space, you know?" I said. "There's also time to consider."

Assuming time was a factor, of course. I thought for a moment about the implications of time travel, but then I dismissed that thought. Time travel could never usefully serve a purpose for anything other than observation. Adventures in time travel were the exception, even among acknowledged time travelers. And I happened to know with a good measure of certainty that that was true.

I then continued, "For all we know, there may have been a billion civilizations that have come and gone. Maybe, at one time, the galaxy was full of aliens, and now they're all gone. Maybe we're the last. Or maybe we're the first."

"This is so depressing," she softly remarked.

For a long moment, she just stood and stared up at space, as if she were a mother who was exhausted trying to cope with an unruly child.

"I'm just going to have to face it," she said. "There's nothing special going on at all. I'm wasting my time."

Haruhi had always seemed a little manic to me, so to see her in this state was a little disconcerting. I think I pitied her a little, and I had this strange idea that I could outwit fate. With that in mind, I settled on one particular possibility.

"Do you know who Michael Jackson is?" I asked her.

"Who?" she asked.

"You seriously don't know?" I asked, wondering how she had avoided even a casual familiarity.

"Why?" she asked. "Is he an alien?"

"You've never heard his music?" I asked. "He's really popular, you know. Like, insanely popular."

"Oh," she said, "is he some kind of rap star? I'm not into that type of music."

I then hinted, "You ever hear the phrase 'the prince of pop?'"

"Pop?" she asked.

"Yeah, pop music," I said. "I love that stuff. Especially Michael Jackson."

"Okay," she said, sounding a little confused.

"Yeah," I said, enthusiastically.

"Why are you bringing this up?" she asked.

"It's nothing," I answered. "Forget about it."

- x -

Wednesday, May 31, 2000.

A few weeks later, I had begun reading in earnest some of the more interesting essays on psychology, though on this particular afternoon, I have to admit I was reading a comic book. This particular comic was about a time traveler, oddly enough, and I found myself recognizing Mikuru Asahina when I glanced up from it at one point.

I had forgotten how damned beautiful she was, and I was a little eager to get her attention, though I merely waved to her. She smiled and came over to my table.

"Hello," she greeted me.

"Hey," I answered. "Didn't think I'd see you again."

"Again?" she asked.

I guessed, "You aren't Asahina number four, I take it."

"I have no idea what you just said," she softly admitted.

She sat across from me, her stunning face and soft voice so close that I felt like I was being smothered by sweetness.

"So, I was right," she said. "You really did go back in time. I mean, the older you."

"Not just me number seven," I informed her, "but me number eight. You know? The one you're talking to right now."

"This is so weird," she remarked.

"So, which one are you?" I asked.

"I guess you'd call me number seven," she answered.

"You like books?" I asked, suddenly wondering what she was doing in a library.

"I've read enough," she answered.

"You read anything I've written?" I asked.

"That's classified," she smoothly replied.

"Haven't heard that in a while," I said, taking her answer as an implicit affirmative.

"Oh, jeez," she complained.

I added, "Though the older you was pretty open with me. It was just number four who'd say that a lot."

She grimaced and said, "I hope you haven't been talking about me."

"Don't worry," I assured her. "I haven't even told anyone your name."

"Thank goodness," she said.

Girls grow up pretty fast, so I wasn't sure, but it seemed to me that this Mikuru Asahina was about the same age as me. I doubted it made much of a difference, but it was a nice thought.

I then asked, "You learned about me because of that incident with Koizumi?"

"That's classified," she responded.

"Because, you know..." I said. "If anyone is to blame for that dimensional stuff, it's probably at least a little his fault."

"I shouldn't..." she started, then stopped herself.

It occurred to me that this wasn't the right person to be making excuses to. I then briefly thought about that situation. A few things were still bothering me.

"Is there still a time quake?" I asked.

"That's..." she started to say, then said, "Yeah. I'm not sure what the deal is with that."

"Well, at least that's not classified," I said, somewhat thankfully.

She added, "There's a lot I can't talk about, but I have no idea what that is."

"That was weird," I said.

She then prompted, "I was curious about what happened to you."

"After that incident?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"I went home," I told her. "I got in a little trouble, especially when they found out about the money."

"Money?"

"Yeah. I had money for bus fare, and my mom suddenly wondered where it came from. I couldn't very well tell her that my older self had asked a time traveler for some money."

"Jeez."

"I did the obvious thing and told them I'd found it. I was lucky that I was able to get home at all."

"You're very mature for your age."

"I know. That's exactly what the older you told me."

With that sorted out, it felt like catching up with an old friend, though this was really the first time we'd met. It made me want to write an essay on the psychological dangers of time travel, though I had the impression that such an essay was probably not a wise idea in the current climate. Given that Asahina was prone to saying "that's classified," it made me wonder whether time travel was an accepted standard practice even in the future.

She then admitted, "I'm still a little freaked out about having an older me, but I guess that kind of thing happens when you travel between time planes."

"There's actually three of you in this dimension," I stated. "That I know of."

I then remembered something the older Asahina had said, and I realized that there could actually be millions of us, though most of them would only exist temporarily.

I added, "And I'm guessing that the older you is the one who made all the rules about what's classified and what isn't."

"And my mission," she supplied.

"Your mission?" I asked.

She answered, "We still need to figure out what's going on with Miss Suzumiya."

"There's something going on?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered. "She somehow made it possible to create this dimension, although I have no idea what that even means."

"You weren't told?" I asked.

"No," she answered.

"It's probably just as well," I said, considering that she probably would have been given my explanation, which was about as good as randomly guessing how it worked.

She then stated, "I would like to just observe and remain unnoticed."

"I figured you would say that," I said, very agreeably.

"You did?"

"You are a time traveler."

"You've been thinking about this, haven't you?"

"It has crossed my mind."

- x -

Friday, February 16, 2001.

Four years to the day after my encounter with the older Mikuru Asahina, I encountered another stunner by the name of Ryoko Asakura. I had been returning home from school, anticipating a nice warm cup of tea and a long lounging session in front of the TV, when I came across this charming girl, standing in front of the fifth door on this floor. Since I lived in apartment "504," this just seemed to me like a nice chance encounter with a neighbor.

"Hello," I said, taking her a little by surprise.

"Oh!" she said. "This is different."

With that, she made the first of many cryptic remarks that would leave me puzzling for years.

"Hey, Kyon," she greeted me by the weird nickname most people seemed dead-set on using.

"You've already met my sister?" I guessed.

"I'm Ryoko Asakura," she answered. "I live right next door."

"Oh, okay," I said. "You just moved in?"

She replied, "Actually, I've been here for a few months."

"Are you a high school student?" I asked.

"Not yet," she answered.

"So, you're still in middle school?" I asked.

"Are you in middle school?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "I start my second year in a couple of months."

"Same here," she said.

"Haven't seen you before," I remarked.

It was very odd. My mother is really good about keeping up with the neighbors, and I didn't recall any mention of this girl. It left me wondering for a moment, but it was nothing too out of the ordinary.

She then asked, "This is a shot in the dark, but do you know a girl named Haruhi Suzumiya?"

"Yeah," I answered. "We talk on the phone sometimes. Why?"

"Just curious," she said.

I found it curious that she would ask about Haruhi, so I asked, "Are you a time traveler?"

"Should you really be asking me that?" she asked.

I laughed and admitted, "I guess not."

Even assuming she was a time traveler, it was probably considered rude to ask. I was struck by this feeling of there being a kind of culture gap, but this one seemed a little odd.

"Oh jeez..." she said, becoming somewhat glassy-eyed.

"What?" I asked.

She then slowly sat with her back against the wall, then slowly put her face in her hands. It was like I was suddenly looking at a textbook example of severe "May Syndrome."

"Are you okay?" I then asked.

"I can't believe I'm back in this time," she complained.

"What?" I said.

"Why me?" she asked the air.

"Aren't you a little young for senioritus?" I asked her.

"Which time plane is this?" she asked me.

"Number eight," I answered, "if I've been informed correctly."

"Eight," she said. "This does just keep going on and on and on..."

I was pretty convinced she was a time traveler, and I remarked, "You know a lot about all this."

"I'm an alien," she admitted.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered, "but don't tell anyone. It's a secret."

"That's pretty amazing," I softly remarked.

She then hit her head against the wall a few times, complaining, "Why me? Why?"

For an alien, she sure exhibited some classic human foibles. I began to wonder just how alien she was, but then she started to stand up again.

"Oh, well," she said. "I'll just have to slog through again."

"You seem a little burned out," I observed.

"Hey, Kyon," she said, still looking pretty glassy-eyed. "Isn't there something you can tell me? I mean, I'm really not motivated for this."

"I can see that," I said.

For several moments, it was mind-boggling. Here was someone that Haruhi would have given anything to meet, and yet she seemed so human that I doubted whether Haruhi would have believed me. Then I thought for a moment about what Asakura had told me.

I asked, "What was it like? I mean, in the previous time plane? Do you remember?"

She instantly smiled and replied, "Oh, man! It was so awesome. It was like one, long summer. I didn't have a care in the world. I just did anything I wanted. And now... I can't believe I'm back here. Why did that time pass so fast?"

"They do say time flies when you're having fun," I remarked, watching Asakura slowly go from being bright-eyed to looking a little sad.

She then complained, "Why couldn't I just do that over and over and over?"

"So, you can remember?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered, "but what's the point? It's all gone now."

"I kind of see what you mean," seriously thinking about what she had just said. "Okay, now I'm starting to get a little burned out."


	37. School

- Chapter 2: School

Thursday, June 21, 2001.

Once I'd started my second year of middle school, I began to seriously think about my adventure in time, and I wanted to know in particular why a guy by the name of Itsuki Koizumi had gotten involved in all that. I eventually tracked him down and gathered an explanation, though it wasn't at all what I was expecting. He turned out to be some kind of esper, and that only deepened the mystery. I then decided to leave that matter alone. I was going to have enough problems with the upcoming move.

My father was unexpectedly offered a position at a local garage that had just opened up, and it looked like my mother was set on one particular house in the area that she liked. This meant that I was busy preparing for the move. This also meant that my opportunities to walk home with Ryoko Asakura were drawing to a close.

Asakura is a delightfully charming person. Had I not been a trouble-making jerk, I think I would have become a better friend to her, but I think that might just be the sentiment speaking. In retrospect, her charm is really her one redeeming quality, and I can recall with some annoyance the many times she insulted my intelligence by looking down on me in certain subtle ways. It made it hard for me to relate to her, and I'm frankly a little surprised she took such a long time to start hating me.

It was really more like a cat and mouse relationship in those days, and I sometimes wonder which one of us was which. Speaking of cats, I had a cat, and that didn't pass Asakura's notice, one day as we were walking home from school.

"Okay, I gotta ask," she told me. "Where did you find that cat?"

"The cat?" I answered. "Sister found him."

"Yeah, right," she said, very skeptical.

"Hey," I said, "don't ask me about things I don't know about."

"I'd like to have a cat," she said.

"I'll bet you would," I remarked.

I felt some special connection to the cat. It was just one of the many weird things in my life that I didn't quite understand, but that's the fun thing about the human mind. Long after space and time stop being a mysterious frontier, the human mind will continue to puzzle us.

"The cat special?" I then asked.

"I love cats," she flatly stated.

"I'd let you have him," I said, "but my mother would probably kill me."

"I doubt that," she sweetly retorted.

I couldn't figure out what she liked about the cat, but then that reminded me of Koizumi, and I mentioned, "I met this weird guy the other day."

"Who?" she asked.

"Koizumi," I replied. "He's totally your type."

"What makes you say that?" she asked.

"Cause he talks the same way you do," I answered. It's true, too. Koizumi has this weirdly casual way of approaching everything that seems really in tune with the way Asakura speaks.

"What makes you think he's weird?" she asked.

"Well..." I said, marshaling my thoughts. "He's a total geek, but the girls fawn over him. He talks and acts really nice about the most rudely personal things I've ever heard. Plus on top of being a close-talker, he has these really weird mannerisms. You'd swear he was some kind of foreigner. I thought he was a time traveler till he told me what he really was."

"I see," she said. "That reminds me. You told Suzumiya about Asahina."

"Yeah, sort of," I admitted. "I didn't mention her name."

"Why did you have to go and do that?" she complained.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked. "It's not like she really believes me. It's just a story to her."

"And you had to tell her?" she persisted.

I quipped, "I couldn't very well tell my sister or my mother. That would be like posting it on the internet."

Asakura apparently didn't know about my internet post, because she then complained, "That's what I don't get. What did you expect? You want sympathy? I can be sympathetic."

"Are you making a pass at me?" I asked, only half-serious.

"No," she replied, a little defensive.

"Don't get the wrong idea about me," I said, continuing to be half-serious. "I mean, I like you but I don't want to sleep with you."

"Where did you start talking like that?" she complained. "You're a very naughty boy."

It was nice that she wasn't taking me seriously, and I liked how she could feign surprise and playfully object in this way. Even so, it occurred to me that I really should take her question seriously, so I thought about it for a moment.

"I think it was more than sympathy," I said. "I think I really was curious. I mean, I really had no idea how much she'd remember."

"Interesting," she said.

"That same year," I added, "my dad traded in the old car for a new one."

"What kind?" she asked.

"That's just the thing," I answered. "I don't remember. All I can recall was that it was one of those beat up four-doors from the early eighties. Not like we ever used it much, but I can't even remember what color it was."

"I see," she acknowledged.

I then remarked, "I guess I shouldn't expect Haruhi to remember some group of people standing around on a grassy hillside from that long ago."

"You do have a morbid curiosity," she agreed.

"Yeah," I said. "That was also the same day her mother went to go live with Haruhi's grandmother. She really hated it."

"Why is that?"

"She said it was boring."

"She says that about everything."

"Yes, she does. It's really irritating."

The thing that irritated me the most was that it all defied explanation. It continued this way until I became willing to embrace the notion of cognitive psychology, which I began taking seriously years later. And even then, I was so torn between several different explanations that I continued being at least a little irritated.

"If you ask me," Asakura continued, "she's the one who's boring."

"She gets these crazy ideas," I said. "That's kind of interesting."

"Yeah," she added, "if it weren't the same crazy ideas she's always had."

"Oh, right," I said, remembering that Asakura was an alien. "It must be like watching one of those shows that's in reruns, for you."

"It's worse than that," she said. "It's like watching a new season of a show where they decide to shoot the same script over and over and over. It's damnably monotonous."

"I don't always do the same things, do I?" I asked.

She smiled and said, "I've never been bored with you outside of those times where..."

"What?" I asked.

She paused for a moment and then said, "Let's just say that Suzumiya can really ruin your life. Enough said."

"She definitely can do that."

"Knowing you, you'll probably start dating her in another year or two."

Dating? A freak like Haruhi? The thought was absurd.

"You silly idiot," she added.

- x -

Friday, July 13, 2001.

Summer came early that year, and I was feeling pretty good even though I'd scored fairly low on the first semester tests. Even so, I decided to get a head start on being lazy at the new house. My grades were at about the same level as a guy by the name of Kunikida. He was basically a big idiot like me, so he could sympathize. We were often singled out by the teachers, and we liked a lot of the same TV shows.

I had invited him over, and we were watching TV, when I thought I heard him comment on this sport we were watching.

"What was that?" I asked. "You say something?"

"Michael Jackson," he replied.

"Oh," I said. "Say what?"

He answered, "You asked me who that guy reminded me of."

"Oh, right," I said.

I had just asked him about Koizumi, but Kunikida had seemed like he wasn't really paying attention. It turned out that he was simply lost in thought. He's kind of funny that way, sometimes.

He then complained, "You really should pay attention when you ask people questions."

"Huh?" I said.

"Very funny," he commented.

I then stated, "Somehow, I can't really see Koizumi as that good a dancer."

"Yeah," he said, "I wasn't really thinking along those lines."

"More like," I guessed, "he's tall and handsome, and the girls constantly stare?"

"That's right," he answered.

I muttered, "There's something really wrong with that way of comparing people."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well..." I replied. "I've always sort of admired Michael Jackson for his idealistic approach to things. To hear you comparing a freak like Koizumi to him is kind of..."

He started laughing, then said, "Michael Jackson is your idol?"

"Okay," I said, "that's enough about that."

Koizumi had started to get into the habit of visiting me, even though he was in an entirely different class. He seemed to be under the impression that I could relate to his situation. I mean, I did travel through time once, but that isn't quite the same as being an esper.

"Yeah," Kunikida added, "anything related to that Koizumi guy is too weird for conversation."

"You have no idea," I muttered.

I heard the doorbell and got up from the couch to go answer the door. Standing there was Asakura and a strange companion.

"Hello," she said. "I brought over a friend."

To look at her, I wasn't sure whether this companion of hers was a girl since they were both wearing somewhat casual attire in preparation for the summer.

"Ah, good," I said. "Come on in."

"Special occasion?" Kunikida asked, approaching the entrance.

The two entered, while I explained, "No. It just occurred to me that Miss Asakura hasn't seen the new house yet."

"Who's your friend?" he asked.

"This is Nagato," Asakura answered. "Pay no attention to her."

"Hello," I greeted Nagato, briefly wondering again whether this glasses-wearing person was really a girl.

"You'll have to forgive her," Asakura said. "She doesn't like speaking much."

"Really?" I asked.

"That's right," Nagato answered.

"See?" Asakura said. She then looked around briefly and stated, "Oh, I see the new digs are... very familiar..."

"Say what?" Kunikida asked.

"Never mind her," I said.

"She's a freak, too?" he asked.

"Let's all go watch some TV, huh?" I said, about to go close the door.

"You have any books?" Nagato softly asked.

"Books?" I asked, not sure I heard that right.

"Yes," she answered.

"You like books?" I asked her.

"Okay. Okay," Asakura interrupted us. "That's enough of that."

I wasn't sure what to make of Asakura's reaction, but then I began to recognize that this was one of those never-ending things she hated to witness.

"Jeez," she said. "Just go get some books for her, already."

"I just asked a simple question," I softly complained.

"Well..." Asakura said, about to explain.

Haruhi then appeared a moment later at the open door, holding a box in her hands.

"Hey!" she said.

"Yeah, hi," I answered. "What are you doing here?"

"I can't visit?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered, "but it is customary to..."

"Happy birthday!" she proclaimed, giving me the box she was holding and walking on inside like she lived there.

I responded, "Thanks, but..."

"You're welcome," she interrupted.

"...it's not my birthday," I said.

"Whoa!" she said, looking around. "Check out the new house!"

"Sheesh," I said.

She then smoothly said, "I know it's not your birthday, dumbass. Just open the box. It's a house-warming gift."

"Oh," I said.

She then remarked, "You really need to work on your sense of humor."

"Isn't that something...?" I started to ask, but then I looked in the box and pulled out a book. "A book?"

"You don't want it?" she asked.

"That's not it," I answered, "I just didn't expect..."

"Sheesh," she complained. "That's gratitude for you."

I handed the book to Nagato and scowled at Haruhi.

"You checked it out from the library, right?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "Have you ever seen me in a library?"

"Oh," I said. "You have a point, there."

She then explained, "Actually, my mother gave me that book a couple months ago."

I asked, "And that's your idea of a house-warming gift?"

"Hey!" Asakura said. "Let's go watch some TV."

"In a moment," I told her.

Haruhi then grudgingly obliged, "Okay, I'll give you some cookies. Sheesh."

"Thank you," I said.

She added, "They're leftovers, though."

"Damn, you're cheap," I complained.

She then said, "I don't recall ever getting a house-warming gift from you."

I answered, "That's because you've been living here a bit longer than I have."

Kunikida remarked, "This never ends, does it?"

"Enjoy it while it lasts," Asakura said. "This is the relatively good part."

It then struck me that in the two years I had come to know Haruhi, this was the first conversation we had had that didn't involve aliens or time travelers. It had seemed like a fairly ordinary conversation, though I had the same general sense of her trying to impress her mother (my latest weird explanation of her mentality).

She then frowned and complained, "Is this a party or a funeral? Jeez."

- x -

Saturday, April 6, 2002.

Between then and the start of the next year, Haruhi began calling me on a more regular basis, recounting crazy stunts of hers for me. Most of it conflicted with much of the psychology I had just studied, and that gave me the amusing hobby of discovering how wrong people could be about the mind. It was a useful unintended side effect of my studies, and it impressed upon me the value of merely observing without bias.

I kept my eyes peeled for Mikuru Asahina, but she didn't seem to want to have anything to do with this time period. Then again, I didn't exactly get around much that year, and it's possible she simply visits places like the library on occasion. When I thought about it, I realized that Asahina could have come sneaking into this house in the middle of the night for all I knew, and that made me realize that it was somewhat familiar. It hadn't struck me at the time, but this was the same exact house as that first house I had gone to in my adventure through time. The thought was a little scary, and I worried once that I might have to confront myself (though I told myself that that would probably just cause another time quake, so that was highly unlikely).

Having endured the entrance ceremonies and various other boring rituals, I found myself in a conversation with Haruhi on the telephone again. This time, she simply arranged a meeting with me at the park near the train station. That was the same place I had encountered Koizumi during that trip through time, and it had started me wondering about Yuki Nagato (since the whole point of that side trip, now that I thought about it, was because Asahina wanted to avoid dealing with Nagato).

I took an immediate liking to Nagato, and I wondered what it was that made Asahina dislike her so much. Whenever I felt agitated by school or by friends, I found a good remedy for that was for me to go visit Nagato and have a short word or two with her. She never voiced objections to my weird questions, though she did sometimes indicate some subtle displeasure. She seemed very cold in her approach toward things, though I found her to be amiable enough at the time. I certainly never regretted meeting her, and it didn't even start to hit me until later that Nagato was also an alien.

Having aliens and an esper hanging around with me was somewhat amusing, and I often wondered what Haruhi's reaction to them would be. This was the kind of thing I was thinking about, as I sat under one of the covered areas, waiting for Haruhi to show up. When she did appear, I called out to her.

"Hey," I said.

"There you are," she said. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Where were you looking?" I asked.

While that caused her some brief dismay, I thought for a moment about why we were here.

"Is this about school?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said, sitting down at the bench next to me. "I've decided to go to North next year."

"You sure you want to do that?" I asked.

"Why not?" she asked.

I remarked, "It's your life, but..."

"It's more interesting this way," she explained.

"Right," I said, wondering how many times I'd heard that.

"Yeah," she said, "I'm getting a little sick of hearing myself say that. What else can I do?"

"You know any good jokes?" I asked.

She then confessed, "I'm no good at jokes, okay. I can do amusing anecdotes, but it's not the same thing."

"No, it's not," I agreed.

She then asked, "Why do you keep harping on this? My jokes aren't that bad."

"You just asked what else you can do," I answered. "I'm figuring it out."

"Sheesh," she complained.

It was only natural. Her approach to me had started roughly with a bad joke, so I just assumed she wanted to do nothing but tell bad jokes for the rest of her life. Something about her ridiculously serious demeanor suggested that absurdities really agreed with her, and that she would find a lot of success in doing that.

"So, tell amusing anecdotes," I suggested. "That's something."

She then asked, "Be a comedian, is what you're saying?"

"Think of it as a challenge," I added.

"Why comedy?" she asked. "You already know I suck at it."

"Well, give it a try," I said. "You might surprise yourself."

"Sounds like something my mother would say," she remarked.

I was tempted to think about that the way a therapist might, but then I usefully prompted her, "How exactly would she say it?"

Haruhi glared at me for a few moments, apparently not ready to go down the route of anecdotes, either.

I then asked, "Or is that a little too obvious?"

"Did I ever tell you about that baseball game?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered. "And the 'alien message' you drew on the school grounds that one time. And the time you painted stars on the roof. And that one guy you were so sure was an alien who turned out to just be ordinary."

Haruhi had a nice list of neurotic stories she liked telling me whenever I indicated that she was being a little too serious. They were useful in the sense that she could give me some specious reasoning for the many weird things she attempted and failed to do, but not really useful to me as an aspiring psychologist.

"It's really starting to piss me off," she added.

"What?" I asked.

"I want to find something, damn it," she replied. "I'm getting a little sick of all this toying around. I want answers."

I sighed and realized, "I shouldn't have told you about the time traveler."

"Were you just messing with me?" she asked.

"No," I answered.

"Because that would really be the worst..." she said, becoming really upset.

"All right, fine," I said. "I'll tell you about her. But you have to promise to leave her alone."

"Leave her alone?" she asked. "Is she someone I know?"

"No," I replied, "but I had a conversation with her since then."

"You did?" she asked.

"Can you do that?" I asked her. "Promise to leave her alone?"

"If you tell me her name, then," she said. "Okay. I promise."

"Okay," I said. "Her name is Mikuru Asahina."

"Seriously?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered, never more serious in my life.

I had expected her to vent or to accuse me of joking, but she simply absorbed that information. It was weird. Something told me that this was one of those rare moments of lucidity that I had somehow encountered in her.

"Don't forget your promise," I softly urged her.

"Why the secrecy?" she asked.

I answered, "She just wants to observe and remained unnoticed. Okay?"

"Okay," she answered.

"Good," I said, hoping the matter was settled, but I really should have known better.

"Interesting," she said, those mysterious wheels turning in her mind again.

"And don't get any funny ideas," I warned. "I'll be watching you."

- x -

Wednesday, August 27, 2003.

Of the year or so that followed, I only have warm memories. It seemed to me as though someone was watching over me, and I later realized that it was mostly Haruhi. I really came to enjoy my school life, and even when I entered high school, there were just some brief obstacles here and there. It was all a little too enjoyable, and I didn't even notice how the time seemed to be rushing by me.

In high school, it didn't take long for Haruhi to start up a club of sorts, and she chose the literature club room for meetings. I was a little surprised to find Nagato had already occupied the room, and she seemed strangely unfazed by Haruhi's piratical tendencies. Haruhi then suddenly enlisted Mikuru Asahina into the club, and right as I was starting to wonder whether Koizumi would appear, in he came being escorted by Haruhi.

The funny thing is that Haruhi never let on (in front of me, anyway) that she knew about Asahina being a time traveler. She made much of Asahina's "moe" qualities, emphasizing them to a degree that seemed to indicate a little desperate avoidance on her part of the whole topic of time travel. And Asahina certainly had those qualities. It was certainly plausible. Needless to say, Asahina wouldn't speak to me.

Nevertheless, I felt good about the situation, even with Asahina. Haruhi would do little more than interrogate Asahina about this and that, and she seemed a little hesitant to try anything more presumptuous. I think Haruhi had reached a point where she halfway believed me, and she seemed to think that any further confirmation might make Asahina blink out of existence. I'm not sure whether she wouldn't have, either.

Haruhi was, in fact, so focused on Asahina that she spent almost no time worried about aliens or espers. That seemed to work out well for Koizumi and Nagato, though I had the feeling Asakura was a little miffed at me.

One night over the summer, it was time again for a trip to the roof of the apartment for some late evening sky viewing. This time, the feature topic was Mars, and Haruhi seemed content to note how gray and featureless Mars is compared to its more dramatically red appearance in the media. Even viewed through a nice telescope, Mars is still little more than a blurry gray dot. Haruhi began trying to get Asahina's attention, while Nagato was busy reading, and Koizumi and I were merely standing around, watching.

Haruhi asked, "This is a pretty big day, wouldn't you say, Mikuru?"

"I guess so," she answered.

"Oh, come on!" Haruhi insisted. "Mars doesn't get this close again for another fifty-thousand years. That's something."

"If you say so," Asahina conceded.

"It really should do something," Haruhi complained.

"This sounds familiar," I muttered.

Once again, Asahina looked at me as if this were all my fault, and I silently apologized to her.

"Is Mars really all that interesting?" I asked.

Haruhi replied, "Sure it is! There's should be gobs of aliens pouring out of Mars by now."

"For all you know," I remarked, "I could be an alien."

"Yeah, right," she sneered.

"How would you know?" I asked.

"So, where's your spaceship?" she asked.

"What makes you think an alien would be from space?" I asked, but I already knew the answer to that.

"Because it would..." she started.

"...be more interesting that way," I finished. "Right."

She then complained, "I expect to see UFOs, damn it."

"Why?" I asked.

"Why not?" she asked.

Haruhi really isn't bound by the laws of fairness, justice or even the laws of physics for that matter. Her expectations are just that. Her expectations. Thinking that there's any sort of rhyme or reason to it is just an exercise in futility, and it was really starting to become clear to me. This was my moment of clarity, and it felt like a huge weight off of my mind.

I then said, "All right. I didn't want to have to do this, but..."

"What?" she asked.

"Hey, Nagato," I asked. "Do you know any aliens?"

"I do not," she answered in her usual terse monotone.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really," she insisted.

"So much for that idea," I muttered.

"What makes you think she knows?" Haruhi asked.

"I figured she might have read about it," I smoothly explained.

She remarked, "I think I've read everything there is to know on that subject."

"And?"

"It's a dead end. Forget about it."

- x -

Saturday, October 29, 2005.

The really cool thing about Haruhi knowing about time travel is that I think it taught her a certain weird form of restraint. Given her unusual upbringing and her tendency to go a little wild, I'd been expecting her to use Asahina as a kind of living fashion mannequin. Thanks to Asahina being a time traveler, I got to witness all kinds of weird expressions pass across Haruhi's face.

In any case, Haruhi was starting to figure out that there was more to life than finding strange people and hanging out with them. Once we started our third year in high school, Asahina had "graduated," and that meant that our club was back down to four members. Haruhi didn't seem too concerned about only having four members, though she still defended the honor of the club. I had thought for sure she would have disbanded it, but then she was strangely persistent about the idea.

Something had definitely come over Haruhi, but I wasn't sure at the time what it could be. Meanwhile, the third year was already halfway over, and just as I was starting to wonder what Asahina was up to, I encountered her on a busy sidewalk. I had just been taking advantage of the unseasonably warm weather to wander around the shopping district, when I spotted her. We had a nice little chat, and then she invited me to help her shop for a particular item at a bookstore.

"Thanks," she said, as we entered. "I'm never comfortable with these kinds of..."

"I guess I can understand," I said, though I had no idea what she was talking about again.

"It's kind of a crazy idea," she admitted. "I'm really just looking for something that disproves it."

Okay. As far as I could tell, what Miss Asahina wanted here was a book that somehow disproved Haruhi's belief in the occult. Asahina was convinced that she only needed an ephemeris to do it. I'm not entirely sure why, not having ever considered the subject. I mean, I had noticed things like Carl Jung's fascination with alchemy and various other bizarre notions, but it seemed more like modern mythology than any kind of subject worthy of study.

I went to the store clerk and asked, "Excuse me, but do you have an ephemeris?"

"Third aisle," he answered.

"Thanks," I said, looking around.

When we entered that aisle, the difference in the subjects and ideas was profound. It seemed to me as if I had suddenly stepped a few thousand years into the past.

"The occult section," I remarked.

"Oh my," Asahina said, looking around.

"Indeed," I said. "I assume Haruhi has already read all these." I like to surmise this kind of thing. It spares me having to know for sure. This is, incidentally, how I figure Haruhi has had an unusual upbringing. I certainly don't like to witness that kind of thing personally.

Asahina added, "It's strange to think that people once believed this sort of thing."

"A few people, maybe," I speculated. "I think most people either dabble for recreation or they think of it as some weird form of therapy."

For a moment, I was tempted to pick up a few books for myself, but then I noticed one particular shelf.

"Okay," I felt compelled to comment, "you'd have to be really hard core to read a book on casting spells or mixing potions, but..."

I then looked up and noticed a number of dusty old books. Among them was what Asahina had been searching for. I took it down.

"Here we go," I said. "Is that it?"

"Yes, thanks," she answered.

I handed her the book, taking a moment to admire how thick it was in spite of the limited subject.

"You just need that one year?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"What's the big deal with 2010?" I asked.

"It's classified," she replied.

I sighed, but mostly because this response had made me a little sentimental. It had been years since I had heard that.

"I'm sorry," she explained, "but it's just because there are so many events that year. This will give me a way to cross-reference with what we think she believes about this subject."

"You could just check a book out from the library," I suggested.

"I know," she said, smiling kindly at me. "I'm sorry, but this is also kind of a hobby of mine. Collecting old books, that is."

"I see," I said.


	38. College

- Chapter 3: College

Thursday, November 3, 2005.

A few days later, I had become so caught up in thinking about upcoming college exams that I almost missed a strange letter in my shoe locker. I'd been feeling oddly left out of the whole romance scene, so this came as a bit of a relief at first, but the note left me with more of a feeling of being played than any sense of actual courtship. The letter was sloppy, barely readable. It was written in a weird amalgam of guarded affection and overbearing boastfulness that seemed completely alien to me. Then there was the fact that I didn't know anyone who acted that way, and the letter made no mention of its author.

I had the brief impression that this had come from Ryoko Asakura, though that just seemed horribly wrong to me on every level. Asakura was still looking a little worn-down (so much so, that I began to think of that trait as part of her personality) and there was the matter of Asakura being one who would never use letters to express her affection. In fact, I'm not completely sure Asakura had any honest affections. It crossed my mind that Haruhi might have written it, but that was laughable. Haruhi making any kind of literary composition? Hilarious.

I spent the day trying to remember everyone I had encountered over the past two-and-a-half years, and I just kept drawing a blank when trying to connect them to this weird letter. I came to the conclusion that it was all part of some weird prank by someone in the student council. Haruhi often liked butting heads with them over matters of school policy, activities, and as a point of pride. I wouldn't put it past one them to get the idea of involving me in some weird scheme of theirs.

There was never any lack of other weird intrigue over the past couple years. Some minor alien group or another would appear and cause trouble, or some rebellious espers would try to confuse things, or some kind of harmless temporal paradox would suddenly thrust itself into and out of existence. It was all very stupid and predictable, and there's no point in me making further note of it. It simply occurred to me that this letter could have been one of those things.

The thing that settled the matter for me was that it seemed to make reference to some kind of rendezvous at the club room, though I wasn't sure I was reading that right. I went to the club, armed with the usual memories of my indignities, and preparing to show myself even more worthy of merit than usual. I may not have a lot of experience with romance, but I do have my pride. When I entered, I noticed that Haruhi was the only one currently in the room. This had started to become the usual pattern for various reasons.

"Hey," I said, taking a seat at the table.

"Hey," she answered from behind the computer.

"You see Nagato?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "Why?"

"She got in another fight?" I asked.

"How the heck should I know?" she answered.

Nagato had started to become a little notorious for fighting, though no one spoke of it too openly. It just seemed like a daily occurrence over the past few months, and I wondered what it portended. If anyone deserved to be involved in fights, it was surely Haruhi, though I knew from experience that fights rarely involved people who deserved them.

"Sheesh," I complained. "It's like the only way she knows how to make friends, I guess."

Haruhi remarked, "I doubt she's the one starting it."

"Oh, I know," I agreed. I then asked, "You see Koizumi?"

"Yeah," she answered. "That was some performance."

"Fighting the good fight," I added.

The student council had just this morning confronted Koizumi over his involvement in this club, and that had prompted a long, scathing rebuke from him. Koizumi rarely steps into any kind of fray, and his normal responses to trying situations is absolutely always to mollify or find a compromise. So, to see him reading back to them chapter and verse of all their own indiscretions was shocking indeed. That alone might make a good story, but I digress.

Haruhi softly commented, "I think the student council should quit while they still have a little dignity."

"You heard what he said about them?" I asked.

"They're gluttons for punishment," she explained. "I don't know. Maybe they enjoy it."

"True enough," I agreed, rubbing my hands for warmth.

Haruhi seemed strangely distant, and I had noticed that she wasn't as willing to discuss the day's tensions as she normally would. Maybe she had caught wind of this letter, but then she surely would have mentioned it. I was about to continue studying my biology texts, but this mystery was really starting to bug me.

"You hiding something over there?" I asked.

"No," she replied.

As usual, she was hiding behind the computer. How she had acquired the computer in the first place was a bit of a mystery, and I wondered whether that trickery was coming back to haunt her at last.

"Oh, come on," I insisted. "You're always hiding something. What is it, this time?"

"Nothing," she insisted.

I warned her, "Don't make me have to come over there and see for myself."

"Jerk," she said.

This was such a familiar insult that I laughed. If she were really upset with me, I think she'd try to flatter me into some cruel device of hers. I commented, "This is why no one wants to join the club, you know?"

"Mind your own business," she added.

I shook my head and sadly remarked, "If it weren't for all the games I keep bringing in..." I probably wouldn't have bothered showing up for club, had I not kept myself interested with all these games I had left lying around here.

"I'm not hiding anything," she flatly stated, "and you should know better than to not believe me."

"Right," I said, probing her face.

"It's true," she repeated, sounding like she believed it.

"You get caught up in another forum spat?" I guessed.

"Of course not," she replied. "I don't argue. That's just lame."

"You just like trolling and running, right?" I asked.

"The computer isn't even connected right now," she informed me.

"It isn't?" I asked.

She explained, "The computer club said they needed to run new wiring."

"Oh, I see," I said. "Upgrading. Yeah, it's probably about time."

"I don't see what's taking them so long."

"They're 'testing' their end. That undoubtedly means..."

"Right. They're screwing around. I need to remember to go knock some sense into them again, later."

"Don't forget your plus-five mace of moe."

"Jeez. The things you remember when it's convenient for you."

"I surprise myself sometimes."

Making odd references to old role-playing game challenges was all well and good, but I couldn't shake the feeling that Haruhi really was hiding something. It then occurred to me that she had lied to me on occasion about Asahina or about the club or any number of things.

"You're plotting something, right?" I asked.

"What?" she said.

"Yeah," I said, just going by the feeling in the air, "you're up to something. I see right through it. I'm just going to wait here and confront this person myself."

"Who are you talking about?" she asked.

I took out the letter and put it onto the table, saying, "Whoever dropped me this letter in my shoe locker. It's some kind of prank, right?"

"What makes you think that?" she asked.

I replied, "The only way it could get more cliche would be if it had told me to meet them on the school roof. I wasn't born yesterday. And you knew about this, right?"

"Idiot," she muttered.

"What?" I asked.

"Can't you tell by looking at it?" she scowled. "I wrote it."

"You did?" I said, unable to fathom it, yet somehow fully seeing it for the first time very clearly.

I took the letter out of its envelope again and started to analyze it. Nothing contradicted what Haruhi was telling me, and I couldn't see how I didn't realize it before, yet I also understood perfectly why it never occurred to me in the first place. The rational part of my mind immediately supplied me with a sensible answer: the effect of perspective.

Here's a fun thing you can try at home: take three containers of water. Cool one, heat the other, and leave the third alone. Put one hand into the cold and the other into the hot. Wait a few minutes, then stick both hands into the container of normal water at the same time. You'll immediately understand what I was going through at that moment.

She added, "I can't believe you don't recognize my handwriting."

"You wrote this?" I asked, still unwilling to accept it.

She got up and started to become really upset.

"Do I have to repeat myself?" she fumed. "Yes, I did."

As I returned to looking at the letter, she snatched it right out of my hands and returned to her seat.

"Whoa!" I said. "Wait a second! Don't just..."

"It's my letter," she answered, grimly clinging to it. "I'll do what I want with it."

"But didn't you intend to...?" I started.

"I changed my mind," she interrupted. "You're too big an idiot."

"Oh, come on," I said, standing up and approaching her.

"I'm really regretting it," she added.

I took the letter back, and quickly backed away.

"Hey!" she protested.

"I like it," I explained.

"Give that back!" she demanded, trying to grab it back while I dodged.

"Why?" I asked. "So you can trash it? I don't think so."

"You just want to make fun of me," she complained.

"No, I don't," I answered. "I think it's cute."

She stopped and looked away, and I think that was the cutest thing I had ever seen.

I then added, "You have this really girly side. I like that. I'm not letting you have it back."

She then grimaced and nearly took the letter away from me. This was getting ridiculous, so I drew her close to me with her next attempt to take the letter. With her within two inches of me, I put my arms around her waist and pulled her the rest of the way.

"You see?" I asked.

She then immediately pulled away, punched me in the gut, and took the letter again.

"Jerk," she said, though her blushing told me a slightly different story.

"Oh, no fair," I gasped.

As she returned to her seat, I slowly caught my breath, trying to absorb all this. Haruhi had a thing for me? Weird. And somehow, I hadn't even noticed it. I tend to notice all the vile, ridiculous, self-contradictory things she does. So, why didn't I notice the one really good thing she must have been slowly veering toward over several years? Maybe that was the reason: I couldn't see it because it had snuck up on me.

"So..." I said. "You want to go to a restaurant or something? Maybe check out a movie?"

"I want to curl up in ball and die of embarrassment," she complained.

"I'm sorry," I explained. "It's just... I didn't expect you to have such a cute side."

"Why is that?" she asked.

"Well," I smoothly added, "you did tell me that love was like a sickness and that the last thing you wanted was to do the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing."

"And you believed that?" she asked.

"Well..." I answered. "Yeah."

"Read between the lines," she snarled.

"Okay," I responded.

"Here," she said, handing me back the letter.

"Thanks."

"Jerk."

- x -

Friday, April 21, 2006.

Before long, I was off to college, and I found myself living in an apartment with Haruhi. I'm not quite sure of the details, but she had managed to find herself a job working in a kitchen across town. It didn't seem like she was taking the whole college thing too seriously, and I later learned that she had quietly withdrawn. I was starting to figure it out at this point, but it's probably just as well that I didn't know.

There wasn't a whole lot I could have done, given my money situation, and living with Haruhi was a lot better than I had imagined. I'm now contractually obligated to describe that time as "warm, happy, and full of exciting memories." You can probably read between the lines, especially you older readers.

I spent a good deal more time in the library in the early days, since that was the way I would actually learn. Goodness knows, you can't learn anything in those boring lectures they give in class. Not to mention, most of the material they insisted on presenting was stuff I'd already learned in high school.

Just as I began thinking about Haruhi, she appeared. I wasn't so surprised to see her in a library, as she knew I mostly tended to be here. It had the advantage of making her tone down the news a few decibels, and I like the thought of having a kind of home field advantage.

"Back from the trenches already?" I asked, having not expected to see her until Saturday.

"It was fun," she answered, smiling broadly.

"Really?" I asked.

"How's college life treating you?" she asked.

"I like studying," I lied. "What can I say?"

"Professional student?" she asked.

I agreed, "I can see myself in a post-grad situation, sure. I haven't figured out in what yet."

She sighed and almost developed a pouty look. I think she had started to notice that I tend to get turned on by that, so she made a point of consciously avoiding it.

"I definitely wouldn't want to be a cook," I added.

"Oh, no way," she said. "It's horribly competitive. This one girl who came through the kitchen just doing bus boy work got yelled at and then ran away in tears. I'd have felt sorry for her if I'd had the time."

"You like it?" I asked.

"I hit the jackpot," she answered.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She explained, "I ran into your dad on the way to his 'high school reunion.' He set me up with a friend of his. That's how I met the owner of this kitchen I've been training at."

Haruhi insisted on having doubts about my dad having gone to school in that area, though she knew better than to argue. I didn't know about the friend of his, though. Come to think of it, I didn't really know what she was doing, and I just assumed it didn't involve training. And right about then, I was starting to realize that Haruhi's "college" was some kind of work-related activity.

"You aren't working?" I asked.

"Call it on-the-job training," she answered. "Anyway, I've done well enough that I've been given a recommendation to a kitchen in the area, here."

"Wow," I said.

"Wow is right," she said. "I just had a chat with the head chef. I'm starting a line chef position on Monday."

I then commented, "Somehow, I never really pictured you as a cook, but... You've really made me change my mind."

I should emphasize that I really had no idea how good Haruhi was at cooking, and to have accomplished all that, she must have been as impressive as someone with years of professional training. It was surprising because I happen to know that she doesn't particularly like cooking, and I as often found myself preparing food as waiting for Haruhi to prepare it.

"Yeah," she said, "but I can't see myself as an owner of a restaurant. I'm not insane enough about any one particular type of food to ever get promoted beyond sous chef, I think. It's really kind of a temporary job."

"So, what are you going to do?" I asked. "Go into management?"

"I don't know," she answered. "Maybe being a cook will help me sort it all out."

"You could go to business school at nights," I suggested.

"Why would I do that?" she asked.

"Well," I replied, "even if you don't want to own, there's still room for being part of the restaurant process. You can help in the kitchen when things get hurried, then go back and do inventory when things slow down."

"I've thought about that," she said. "The problem is that high-scale restaurants tend to overstock. Their owners get really picky about this or that. And I can't see myself working in some family restaurant."

I took a moment to sort out those complaints, then suggested, "You could try and manage a small but well-respected shop."

"That's true," she admitted. "But I'd have to be the owner or at least become next-in-line for owning to get that kind of position."

I wasn't sure about that, but then I realized, "So, what you're saying is that you don't like management?"

"I love management," she answered, "but you always look at me funny whenever I try to do anything like that."

"I do?" I asked.

She replied, "You get this look on your face like I just stepped on a kitten or you start to look at me like my mother died. It's creepy. I don't want to keep having to confront that."

"I always just assumed you were reading my mind," I remarked.

She smiled and said, "I probably can do that on some weird level. So, you'd better watch out."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said.

For a discussion of the future and what people expected of her, this was a surprisingly pleasant conversation. I usually expect her to be upset or to throw a temper tantrum, but this tone was really nice. I had a good feeling about this turn of events, though that was dampened by the realization that she really wasn't going to be attending college any time soon in spite of the fact that she had earned a place and even seemed to be about to enter along with me.

"Speaking of weird things," she mentioned, "I ran into Mikuru again."

"Sheesh," I said, reflexively thinking of how beautiful that girl is.

Haruhi seemed like she understood what I was thinking, because she said, "It's so weird to think you're speaking to a time traveler, but she doesn't really look or act anything like what you'd imagine from one."

"What did she want?" I asked.

"I don't recall," she answered, "but I had a chance to interrogate her again."

"You went easy on her, I hope," I said.

She chuckled and remarked, "Old childhood friends are hard to let go, huh?"

"We weren't friends," I stated. "We were just in a really weird situation there."

"Which you never finished explaining," she complained. "I know. You promised not to tell. I'm starting to be cool with that."

"Just now?" I asked.

"It always used to piss me off, but now..."

"How long have we known each other? Six years?"

"More than that."

"Really?"

Let me stop you for a moment to mention that I have this problem with getting exact times right. I tend to exaggerate one way or the other. Lately, I've been trying to correct that problem, but it still trips me up, every now and then. When I was younger, in particular, I had a tendency to lie about my age. Not always, but every now and then.

Haruhi noted, "It's actually been seven years, plus a month."

"Is that right?" I asked, thinking that was a little long.

"You really suck at basic arithmetic, you know?" she said.

I sighed and admitted, "I did find myself punching in 'two plus two' into my calculator the other day. That was kind of..."

"You're turning into a math geek?" she asked.

"I hope not," I answered.

- x -

Sunday, February 11, 2007.

I have to say that while I have nothing against math geeks, I do dread the thought of becoming one. Not enough that I avoid them. I actually did have a few acquaintances in that department, but I often found myself hanging around with artists and philosophers. It gives me a richer appreciation for the human mind, considering the subjects that interest me are mostly concerning the abnormalities of the mind. The pinnacle of mental achievement is the artistic sensibilities of the most rational philosopher. At least, this is just my opinion on the matter.

Over the next year, while I studied in generic first-year classes, Haruhi was busy working her way up to head chef. She wasn't quite there yet, but I understood that she had achieved sous chef in what was thought to be an impossibly short amount of time, given her lack of formal training. It turned out that Haruhi had had many years of training on her own, using the wide variety of skills taught to her by Yahoo and Google. I also sometimes saw her reading, but always out of some really old cookbooks. You know the type? The ones from the sixties when they still used really nice heavy stock for pages and bright, coated stock for the cover? And it still only cost about eight hundred yen?

I had a lot of pleasant surprises over that time, but none quite as pleasant as seeing Asakura excel in her time at college. We took a lot of the same courses, so it made sense that we saw each other every now and then. Of course, she mostly hangs around with the more popular students. Even in college, I can't get away from those damn cliques. This is to be expected, of course, but I can't help but feel like it's really wrong.

One particular winter day, I was reading in the library. I was minding my own business, when Nagato came by the table I was at.

"Hey," I greeted her.

"Hello," she said.

"Haven't seen you in a while," I remarked. "Why don't you have a seat?"

"Thanks," she said, taking out a pack of cigarettes.

"Oh, it's a no smoking..." I said.

"Okay," she said, putting them back. She then sat across from me in her usual, business-like pose. It was reassuring to see that she didn't apparently change in the time I had come to know her. This was getting to be a fairly normal pattern: we would meet and have a discussion of some kind, and she would treat the encounter as if we were conducting some kind of negotiation.

"That's a pretty nasty habit," I started.

"Yes, it is," she agreed.

"It kind of makes me sad," I admitted.

"Don't worry about it," she assured me.

"Oh," I said, "because you're an alien."

"That's right," she said.

"I keep forgetting," I added. "It's kind of cool, though. The whole culture clash thing, that is."

She then explained, "When my phobias don't dictate my nicotine addiction, my instincts compel me to eat fast food."

"That's quite a curse," I remarked.

"Yes," she said.

Nagato had mentioned that she had an interest in Haruhi, though I wasn't quite sure at the time what it was. To that end, Nagato had taken a job in the food service department at the kitchen where Haruhi was working. I sometimes wondered how she could deal with that, though not enough to go visit. That would just be too weird. I prefer to deal with Nagato in a more relaxed atmosphere, and the library is about as relaxed as it gets.

"So, why are you here?" I asked. "I can't imagine you wanted to talk to me about your phobias."

"Have you seen Itsuki Koizumi?" she asked.

I answered, "Not since the high school graduation ceremony. You still have something going on with him?"

"If by that you mean personal matters, that ended one week after it began."

"It did?"

"Yes."

"I never noticed."

I hadn't gone out of my way to avoid Nagato, but I do find myself being repelled by the thought of encountering Koizumi. Something about him just seems really wrong, and it did bother me a little that I was setting him up with Nagato, though I was also hoping for things to work out between them. I have to admit that I had had Nagato's benefit in mind, and the thought of Koizumi benefitting had never once crossed my mind.

"So, what happened?" I asked.

"Do you really wish to know?" she asked.

"I do, actually," I answered. "I was kind of pulling for you two."

She replied, "He has boundary issues."

"So, I noticed," I said. "What do you mean, exactly?"

"I caught him inspecting my credentials," she answered.

"Credentials?" I wondered.

She explained, "I always leave a wallet with fake credentials in a compartment at my apartment."

"Right," I said.

She continued, "It's a necessary precaution when dealing with certain enemy agents. He, however, took some of the details as informative and became defensive when he questioned me."

"Sounds pretty reasonable to me," I said, thinking of how I would react.

She then said, "I would have let the matter drop, but he questioned me at length about many other data decoys I have arranged."

"Decoys?" I asked.

She then explained, "He also exhibits a tendency to blame my altercations on my alien or my female status."

"He didn't realize that people were just picking on you?" I asked.

Just at that moment, Asakura sat down next to me and answered, "Nobody was picking on Nagato."

"Oh, hey," I said. "Nice to see you again."

Asakura continued, "You should know by now that all those fights were orchestrated."

"Is that true?" I asked.

"Don't bother asking her," Asakura said. "She won't give you a straight answer."

"That's enough," Nagato told her.

Asakura then asked, "Why don't you ever tell him? It's not like he isn't going to find out."

A lot of mystery surrounded Nagato, and I honestly wasn't all that surprised. She had a lot of difficulty communicating in those days. She would stupidly use more complicated words and expressions when a simple word or expression would have sufficed or even made a better connotation. It shouldn't come as a surprise that she would have trouble in other areas. Orchestrating fights was something else, though. I would have to rethink my whole attitude toward her, depending on her answer to that.

"About what?" I asked.

Asakura answered, "Nagato likes to play super hero in these types of situations. Especially when you decide to get all lovey-dovey with Suzumiya."

"Are you talking about previous time planes again?" I asked.

She answered, "It takes a decade or two, but she always transforms into the mysterious Harlequin."

"That sounds pretty cool, actually," I said.

"Oh yeah, it is," she enthusiastically agreed. "But the thing is that she can't just leap into that role. She has to practice. And guess who has to be backup in those situations where practice doesn't quite work out?"

"Okay," I softly remarked, "I'm going to assume that was a rhetorical question."

"And the real question is..." she prompted.

"Huh?" I said, thinking for a moment. "Oh, right. Why were you orchestrating fights with high school girls?"

It obviously should not have been difficult for Nagato to train against other aliens or street punks or even just at a proper dojo. A dojo would likely give you really lousy training, but it had to be better than battling with high school girls.

Asakura then told her, "Oh, come on. It's not like you have anything to lose by telling him."

"It was practice," Nagato admitted.

"And?" Asakura prompted.

"And stress relief," she added.

"And?" Asakura persisted.

"Okay," I said. "I think I've heard enough."

Asakura softly laughed and complained, "Spoil sport."

"So..." I said, thinking back for a moment. "What did you want with Koizumi?"

"I was..." Nagato started

"She was jealous," Asakura interrupted.

"I'll leave the two of you alone," Nagato said, getting up to leave.

Asakura then remarked, "It's kind of cute, don't you think?"

"What is?" I asked.

She answered, "She hates the guy, but she's still got a little thing for him."

"Sheesh," I said. I then asked, "Can't you sympathize with anyone?"

"Not really," she answered.

"You've never been in love?" I asked.

"With no one but you," she smoothly replied.

I sneered and said, "Yeah, right."

"Okay," she said, "that was a lie, but I have had strange urges."

"Good god..." I muttered

"You know," she added, "your abilities are wasted on that light-weight, Suzumiya."

"Light-weight?" I asked.

"It's crazy," she said. "Why are you wasting your time with her?"

"There are lots of other guys you could be telling all this."

"Oh, I know."

Now that I thought about it, Haruhi was still alarmingly thin for being a chef. You would think being around food all day would make you get fat in a hurry, but not Haruhi. Of course, I'm pretty sure this isn't what Asakura meant, but I'm trying to paint a literary picture more suitable for her current audience.

Asakura then added, "There is something to be said for lots of random, anonymous encounters. The thing is, it really bothers me."

"It does?" I asked, a little too stunned to say what I was really thinking.

She admitted, "This whole conversation feels really wrong to me."

"You're telling me?" I asked.

She explained, "The funny thing is that Nagato warned me. She said to not take anything from Suzumiya in this world or that I'd regret it."

"And yet," I recalled, "you still invited me into your apartment countless times."

"It wasn't countless," she retorted. "Only nine times."

"Seemed closer to ninety," I said.

She added, "And that was long before Suzumiya had her claws in you."

"I met her before I met you," I said.

"That's true," she said, "but I've had my eyes on you."

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't know," she answered. "It's really weird."

I think I knew. Asakura has the same problem as Haruhi: she views men as objects. Only, in Haruhi's case, it also applies to women. The thing about Haruhi is that it takes some weird combination of vanity, insanity, and bad luck to trigger her interest in a man. I guess I happen to have that combination. Asakura's only criteria for interest was whether they were breathing. I think she was also drawn to innocence and naivete, but that's just surmising on my part.

Unlike Haruhi, however, Asakura was starting to undergo some kind of transformation. She was possibly starting to view men as beings not unlike herself. She was beginning to show the first glimmerings of sympathy, and that made me wonder about Nagato's transformation. To go from a pretentious, jargon-babbling android to a super hero in a few mere years would be quite an accomplishment.

"Harlequin, huh?" I said. "I'm looking forward to that."

"You have a long wait," Asakura informed me. "It's going to be at least another ten years."

"Sheesh," I complained.

"You sure you don't want to come over?" she asked.

"I'm sure," I answered.

"I just love playing with fire," she added.

"You ever just go straight and be mature?" I asked.

"I did, once," she replied.

"Oh?" I asked.

She said, "That was in that world where you didn't resist my charms."

"Seriously?" I said.

"That didn't last long, though," she said, oddly frowning for a moment. "Nagato just had to ruin it."

"So, you became a paragon of virtue?" I asked.

"I became everyone's favorite guru," she answered. "That was even better than sex."

"I can't imagine it," I admitted.

"Oh, crap," she said in the nicest possible way. "Now, I'm depressed again. See what you did?"

"Me?" I asked.

- x -

Tuesday, December 18, 2007.

I know I'm probably not the most upbeat person in the world, but I seriously doubt I had anything to do with Asakura's depression. In fact, over the course of the first half of my second year in college, Asakura began insinuating her ideas about what my career should be like into my mind. The amusing thing about it now is that it always seemed like my own ideas, and I was stubbornly proud of myself for having had those ideas. Now, it just seems like a huge mistake.

I was finding myself approaching a career in education, and I didn't see the harm in it. I told myself I was doing the work of the gods, and even patted myself on the back for having the rare spark that could light a student's imagination with inspiration to learn. I noticed Asakura being her usual self with various people and thought nothing of that. Only later did I make a connection between that and this notion I have now that I was really just a pawn in her games.

Before I continue this string of cryptic remarks, I should point out that I viewed Asakura's tendency to flattery as self-destructive (which it was), and I generally viewed her odd dilemmas with pity and a certain degree of disgust (which I regret just a little).

In any case, living with Haruhi made me appreciate just how self-destructive a person could be without actually exploding before my eyes. I could tolerate it since it was behavior she mainly aimed at herself, though I did sense in myself some collateral damage to my pride, my zeal for living, and my ability to appreciate the female form. Speaking of form, I noticed Haruhi was starting to put on a little weight. That was a good thing, to my mind. I had had the impression she would have blown away in a strong gust of wind.

One particular evening, we found ourselves at her apartment, each taken to imitating the other. She was lounging on the sofa while I was sitting on my feet in a chair. I hadn't noticed, but these weird little things were starting to become important to me. I asked her about some of that, and it led into a discussion of a performance she was planning to give at a local show. It was for some kind of convention. I forget the details. I was just listening to some of her act, and starting to figure out what it was.

"Food jokes?" I asked.

"Well, what did you expect?" she said. "I work in a kitchen. That's what we talk about, half the time."

"You really think it'll go over well?" I asked.

She casually remarked, "Can't be any worse than the so-called comedy you watch on TV. Look at how often these talk show hosts tell lame puns, make ethnic slurs, rehash old material..."

"Well," I conceded, "I guess as long as you're having fun with it."

She added, "I like to think of my material as educationally ironic."

"So," I quipped, "you enlighten people in spite of what you teach them."

"Hey, that's good," she softly noted. "I need to remember that line."

"Nagato threw a fit at me today," I informed her.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"Something about the integrity of the temporal structure or whatever."

"The integrity of the space-time continuum?"

"That's it."

"You do have a tendency to create synchronization problems."

Every now and then, Haruhi likes to make these odd observations that come from out of nowhere.

"How do you figure?" I asked.

"For example," she answered, "when you told me about Mikuru."

"Hmm..." I said, trying to imagine what life would have been like had I not done that.

She added, "I've been thinking about this TPDD you mentioned."

"I mentioned that?" I asked, a little surprised at myself for being so forthcoming.

"Yeah," she answered.

"Sheesh," I complained. "Me and my big mouth."

She then said, "The cool thing about it is that it kind of makes sense. I mean, if you take matter and reverse its temporal trajectory, it basically becomes like antimatter. Outside of an absolute vacuum, you'd have a huge explosion."

"I don't think that's quite right..." I said, not liking that wording.

She continued, "So, it really does need to convey you into a negative or inverse dimension. Otherwise, your body would be destroyed in the transition. The thing that's bugging me is how you translate yourself into that dimension. I mean, wouldn't your body destroy itself at the boundary of that translation?"

"You're really asking the wrong guy," I answered. "I just traveled through time. I don't have a clue how it works."

"You're probably right," she admitted. "I'm just guessing, myself. It would be kind of cool to figure it out, though."

"I'll bet Nagato knows," I said. "She seems like the type who figures stuff out and then keeps it to herself."

"She certainly does," Haruhi agreed.

Haruhi certainly sounded like she believed me, though I still sensed that she didn't completely buy into it. There were still doubts lingering behind all that. I could also sense some odd tension when she mentioned Nagato. Somehow, we can never have a serious discussion about her. There's just something weird about it that never fits any particular situation we encounter.

"That reminds me," I said. "I have a big test to study for. I should really get started on that."

"Don't you have some holiday time?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied, "but I really should get on this stuff. No sense putting it off."

She then asked, "You know how I'm spending my holiday, right?"

"I..." I said, thinking about her work at the kitchen. "Oh, I see."

She added, "I'm going to need to charge my batteries, so to speak."

"Don't worry about it."

"Okay."

Haruhi always spent her holidays stressed out to her limits, and she expected her home to not only be calm and welcoming, but to reflect a proper attitude and respect for the season itself. She also expected me to be as accommodating as humanly possible no matter what other dire circumstances loomed in the meantime.

"You're really going to do that material?" I asked, a little worried that she would find a poor reception. Food jokes are so nineties, I thought.

"Why not?" she asked. "Weren't you the one who told me to be a comedian?"

"I did?"

"Trust me."

I don't recall ever telling her to become a comedian, though I probably did mention it as a possibility.

- x -

Thursday, November 27, 2008.

By the middle of my third year, things were really shaping up for Haruhi's showbiz career, though her odd good fortune seemed to me like leaping in through the back door. It always seemed to me as though life were a game that she had figured out some strange way to cheat at, and it bothered me a little. It seemed as though Nagato had also figured this out, though she had characteristically figured it out long before I had even begun noticing.

In one of Haruhi's earlier performances, the cousin of a studio talent scout had been a witness. He'd been impulsively wandering the area, not really sure what he was looking for. But then he stumbled into her performance, and he decided to bootleg it. That became a kind of early demo tape, and that foot in the door eventually led her to performing in front of actual studio hacks (I use the word "hack" affectionately, by the way), who eventually remembered Haruhi's performance when the subject of food-related comedy came up.

Thus it was that Haruhi was then invited to make an honest-to-goodness demo tape on a real TV show. It was just a late night talk show, but that's still way better than a lot of comedians can boast.

I went to the studio that afternoon, accompanied by Nagato. We found our way to an office with the help of some busy assistants, and we watched a TV for a while as the show's host was finishing off one of his routines. It was still early, so I thought I might get caught up, first.

I said, "I heard you got back together with Koizumi. How did that work out?"

"I don't know," she answered.

"You don't know?" I asked, thinking how odd that sounded.

It was subtle, but she looked annoyed. Nagato has difficulty expressing emotions, to put it mildly.

"Is he being a jerk again?" I asked.

"He's a pompous ass," she answered.

"Sorry," I said.

"It's okay," she assured me.

"I feel like it's my fault," I explained. "I have been nudging things along a little."

"I try not to think about it," she added.

At that point, Haruhi came on and began doing her act. It made me oddly more aware of the room itself. Nagato and I were sitting in a couple chairs at a table. It was similar to the club room back in high school, but the setting was far less distracting.

I got the impression that writers for the show used this room for their meetings, then they would probably go out to a bar and get drunk while the show actually began shooting. The show itself would come on much later, of course. By then, most of the people involved in its production would be asleep.

"You like this material?" I asked.

"Yes," Nagato replied.

I admitted, "I wasn't sure what to make of it, but it sounds a lot better in performance."

Nagato then lit a cigarette, while I pondered on this odd phenomenon.

"It's just too bad she only got a five minute slot," I remarked.

"What's your major?" she asked.

"Cosmetology," I answered.

Nagato then looked at me like she was almost glaring. As usual, I can't quite tell.

"Sorry," I said. "That was a bad joke. I'm majoring in psychology."

"Okay," she said.

It was a real mystery why Nagato felt compelled to avoid college, never getting too terribly far from Haruhi. I had the impression Nagato was stalking her, though I knew she had every reason not to.

I remarked, "I would have thought for sure you'd have earned a doctorate."

She replied in her usual monotone, "This is the kind of world I had always imagined would be the final one."

"It is?" I asked.

She smoothly answered, "There is a strong sense of balance in it, and everything right now is entering a stage where preparation can begin. It is like a long, cold night before a winter's storm."

"So," I realized, "it's not actually the last one?"

"No," she answered.

"What's stopping this from being the last one?" I asked.

She replied, "My work remains unfinished."

"Okay..." I said, once again wondering what that meant.

"For me," she explained, "this is a deep breath. It's superfluous, yet inevasible."

For a minute or so, I wasn't sure how to respond to that.

I then asked, "When exactly will your work be finished?"

"If you ever find out," she said, "please tell me."

She then stood up and started putting out her cigarette.

"It might help if I knew what your work was," I complained.

Haruhi then burst into the room, saying, "Hey Kyon!" She looked around and added, "Oh, hey Yuki!"

"Hey," I said. "Nice performance."

"Thanks," she said, sitting next to me at the table. "I think I told some funny jokes, too."

"You didn't upstage the host too much, did you?" I asked.

I realized from the creepy smile on her face that that had been exactly what she was aiming for.

I added, "Not that that would be difficult, or anything."

"You know," she said, "yesterday I would have been too nervous for a performance like that. Today, I kind of feel like I could have done much better. Weird, don't you think?"

"Not surprising, really," I remarked. "You were just more ready to respond to the audience in a particular way."

"You did set me up, didn't you?" she asked.

"At your request," I answered. Haruhi wouldn't have had it otherwise.

The strange thing was that she had prepared at the last possible moment. That was rather unusual for her, but it turned out to be a good thing. I don't think Haruhi had fully realized before I helped her out that she only had five minutes, and I think my preparations had simply helped her compress her material well enough to suit an audience that was feeling a little bored by annoyingly repetitive material from the host and his unimaginative interviews with has-been celebrities.

She then said, "I knew there was a reason I let you hang around with me."

"I'm just hanging around for the free food," I answered.

"Nice one," she muttered. "Haven't heard that a million times already."


	39. Post Grad

- Chapter 4: Post Grad

Wednesday, January 27, 2010.

As I approached graduation, I aimed at an educational career. It was something familiar, and I was beguiled by the notion of gradual changes in achieving high aims. It was just the latest in a series of faux wisdom Asakura had been feeding me in her quest to live out some strange vicarious ambition. I never did figure out what that was about, and since I was to abandon that career long before achieving tenure, I can only surmise what the purpose had been.

More importantly, I was facing the prospect of losing my free lunch with Haruhi. She wasn't about to give up her chef position on this side of town, and I wasn't about to try dealing with an hour-long commute to work everyday. Not on top of all my college work. I settled on looking for an apartment once the time was right, and I asked her about it. She didn't like it, but her own situation was getting even more full of dilemmas. Haruhi began to realize that working in comedy is a job that involves lots of travel, and that was already starting to conflict with her chef position.

I could see her concentrating on one or the other or somehow trying to juggle them both, but the thing I couldn't see was how she was going to leave it in my hands. It was a scary thought, in particular because I already knew what her future was. I desperately wanted her to discover her own future for herself, but the fact that I knew was really weighing on my mind. I really began to wonder if she couldn't see that future in my mind, somehow. That thought was probably what had begun bothering me the most.

It also began to occur to me that I could have created a terrible paradox here, had I wanted. I imagine it would have simply sprouted another time "plane" (whatever that is), but then I would berate myself for thinking that anything I could do would prove to be so important. I'm really nothing more than an advice giver, and my advice is rarely all that significant.

I found myself having lunch at a park bench, just trying to sort all this out. It was a nice setting. I could give myself over to really deep thoughts without too much effort on my part, and it was unlikely I'd face any distractions. What kind of advice do you give yourself? In the end, I settled for thinking of it as a matter of free will. You can't know what the right decision is until you are faced with it, and then it's always a matter of choosing to do the obviously right thing or letting yourself slide into a bad position. Just as I was finishing my lunch, I saw Haruhi wander along. It was odd, but I had started to expect things like this to happen.

"Hey," I said, pulling my jacket on a little tighter.

"There you are," she said. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Where were you looking?" I asked.

She smoothly answered, "It's like hide-and-seek with you, sometimes."

As she sat down next to me, I was gratified that she finally had a comeback for my pointed question. It made me not mind so much when Haruhi gave me her usual scowl and that look like I had done something really stupid again.

She then asked, "Have you seen Yuki lately?"

"No," I replied. "Why?"

"I think she's found true love," she informed me.

"Really?" I said. "That's cool. About time."

"She's hilarious, too," she added, grinning broadly.

"How?" I asked.

"It's so obvious," she answered. "She fights with her boyfriend over politics, then she just smiles."

"She smiles?" I asked, trying to picture that and having a lot of trouble.

"Yeah," she answered, "that's the other weird thing."

"I wasn't sure it was possible," I softly remarked.

"I'm worried about her, though," Haruhi added.

"You mean," I guessed, "about the smoking?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"I think she's the type who can handle it," I said.

Nagato had grown more beautiful every day, and thinking of her with a boyfriend (no doubt, much like herself) gave me a feeling like being a proud father. There was something really wrong with that, but I couldn't quite place it. Maybe it was just the fact that I had always thought of Nagato like a kid sister, but then that thought seemed really wrong, too. In the back of my mind, I couldn't get over how Nagato was just an alien. That would forever put her outside the scope of my ability to grasp.

"How goes the teaching job?" Haruhi then asked me.

I replied, "That's turning out surprisingly well, all things considered."

"So, that starts up this year?" she asked.

"Soon as I graduate," I answered, "it's straight into economics and guidance."

"You're already a counselor?" she asked.

The thought was a little overwhelming. Yeah, right. That would be the anvil that breaks this camel's back. No way could I even imagine having all that responsibility.

"No," I answered. "I have to do a couple years as an assistant adviser. Then it's straight into career advice. Meanwhile, I'll have my post-grad work. I doubt I'll have a spare five minutes in an average week."

She laughed and remarked, "Jeez. That is a lot. Especially the advising."

"Advice isn't that difficult," I assured her.

"Really?" she asked. "How about you give me some advice?"

"For free?" I asked.

"You want me to pay?" she asked.

"I was just kidding," I said.

"I know," she said.

I wasn't just kidding around. I was kind of hoping she might let me off the hook, here. She knew I didn't like this subject for more than just the one obvious reason, but then I began to think of this more like a hypothetical. How would I approach any random person who had her dilemma. This might be a good exercise, and it certainly would give me less to regret, later.

"All right," I said. "Here goes. You have a nice career as a cook, already."

"That's true," she admitted.

"In a few years, you went from line chef to head chef. That's pretty amazing."

"It was fun."

"So, you don't mind doing some other fun things like doing some stand-up comedy."

"That's right."

"What do you think of your style of comedy?"

"It stinks."

As usual, Haruhi mostly needed me to know whether something she'd come up with really was funny. Every now and then, she'd have the idea that something was funny when it really wasn't, and the thought that she was doing that again was making her reluctant to find new material. The thing about food humor is that it quite naturally goes stale pretty quickly, but there's always lots of fresh opportunities for new material.

"I mean," I said, "from a producer's point of view. What type of audience do you think you relate to?"

She answered, "You tell me."

"Okay," I said. "The thing is, you like a wide variety of subjects. Sports, fashion, fitness, cars, travel, relationships, home improvement, computers, education..."

"Don't forget food," she softly amended.

"Yes, food," I agreed. "What does all this add up to?"

"A variety show," she immediately answered.

"That would be a dream job for you, I think," I remarked.

"Damn straight," she said.

I then explained, "The problem is that you aren't much of a dancer, and I haven't heard you sing."

"You haven't?" she asked. "I'm a really good singer, actually."

"Oh?" I said.

She answered, "I don't sing very often, but that's one of my many talents."

"The thing is," I pointed out, "your talents don't get too terribly specific, for the most part."

"I am really more of a generalist," she admitted.

"Yes," I said, "but who does that leave for your audience? See? This is the obstacle, I think. You really need some kind of special gimmick if you want to get into this market."

"That is a bit of a problem," she agreed.

"Well," I added, "I would just say keep working at your routine, and maybe you'll have a nice portfolio you can use to land a spot on a show."

"Thanks, Mr. Adviser," she said. "But I already figured that out years ago."

"You did?" I asked.

"It's nice to hear someone independently come to that same conclusion, though."

"That's pretty much all an adviser does."

- x -

Thursday, June 3, 2010.

As I expected, Haruhi kept her chef position and managed her own comedy performances. She was also as difficult to contract for a show as a celebrity, and she could almost write her own paycheck because her act was a guaranteed seat-filler. No one quite understood how it worked, but she was like a cash register. They just pushed her buttons and raked in the money, though she was the one who ended up making out the best in the end. I didn't know it at the time, but Haruhi was piling up quite a nice stash from all the work she was getting, and she had no intention of stopping that flow any time soon.

Meanwhile, my teaching job was rough. It paid rather poorly, and I found myself just getting by with all my expenses. To top it off, I was doing double duty. I helped a lot of high school students with their problems, though it was mostly about trivial things. Every now and then I'd deal with people being bullied or bullies who thought they were good at pretending to be the one being bullied. My many years in psychology taught me the tells and the reasons for all this, so solving those problems was the highlight of the day for me.

The thing that made me want to quit teaching was the economics. It was just tons of paperwork. I really had underestimated how much time was involved in just doing the everyday paperwork for a simple economics class, and I was a little out of my element. It's true that I had studied plenty in college, but it was really just to get the requisite number of classes to qualify for graduation. I hadn't counted on it becoming my major focus once I had graduated.

Between April and May of that year was the most brutal. I think I saw Haruhi four times, and we could only be together for a few hours. So, any time we did have together was golden. I can't even talk about it. It was just way too important. Just as I was about to snap from the situation, Haruhi gave me the news that she had found a nice position working at a restaurant in the area where I lived. It was like a second wind, but it also meant that I would soon be confronting Nagato and Asakura again. It didn't escape my notice that those two were never very far from Haruhi for more than a day or two.

In fact, Asakura was already here. She had rented out an apartment near me about a month ago, and I had known that that portended something. I should have guessed that she would know about Haruhi's impending move, but this is the kind of thing that is only obvious in retrospect. One evening, as I was doing paperwork in my favorite coffee shop, Asakura came by and sat across from me.

"Hey, Kyon," she said.

"Hi," I said.

"Haven't seen you around," she complained.

"I have been a little busy," I explained.

"So, I noticed," she said. "Have you even been home?"

"I always make time for home," I answered. "I'm not crazy. What about you?"

"I have friends," she answered. "That's all I need."

I looked up from my paperwork and asked, "What kind of friends?"

"The special kind," she replied. "You know? The kind who can offer you a special loan."

Asakura has such a nice, casual way of saying everything, I began to think she was serious. Honestly, I'm not sure even now that she didn't really have friends like that.

"I'm just kidding," she said. "I get by on love."

"I find that hard to believe," I said.

"Sheesh," she complained.

"We never seem to have a serious conversation," I remarked.

"You want one?" she asked. "I'm up for it."

"What would you talk about?" I asked.

"Whatever you want, of course," she answered.

I thought for a moment and then said, "I've been puzzling over what it is that you do."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

I answered, "I mean, what your boss is like. What you're expected to accomplish. That sort of thing."

"It's a secret," she replied.

"You can't tell me?" I asked.

"I've been forbidden," she answered. "Sorry. I guess Miss Asahina would say, 'That's classified.'"

"Fair enough," I said. "What about this memory archive?"

"You know about that?" she asked.

"I've heard Nagato mention it from time to time," I answered.

She then explained, "Well, hold onto your hat... It stores memories."

"And that's it?" I asked.

"What else did you think it was?" she asked.

I guessed, "You don't have any special rules about what goes into it?"

"We do," she answered, "but it's all boring nonsense."

"Is that how you remember previous worlds?" I asked.

"Not really," she answered. "I mean, I just don't forget. You humans have lousy memories."

"Jeez," I said, wondering about all that.

She then informed me, "There was a whole day you lost in the previous time plane. You never did get it back, either."

"I didn't?" I said, thinking back. "I thought I was supposed to remember after a few years."

"You were," she said. "You just... didn't remember. It's kind of sad, really."

"What was I like in that world?" I asked.

"You were really talkative," she answered. "I'm not kidding. Any time I came to visit, you were just chattering away, non-stop."

"Really?" I asked.

She added, "You had aspirations of becoming a doctor, but..."

"It didn't work out?"

"You lived a more Bohemian lifestyle, thanks to Nagato."

"I didn't live with Haruhi?"

"You didn't even like her."

All of a sudden, I could picture it. A whole world that turned out to be like a day at the beach. Like something out of an artist's fantasy, only it had actually happened in Asakura's memory. I began to feel just how deeply depressed she must have been, to have emerged from that into a world like this.

"Weird," I said.

"Yeah," she said, "that was best part. Everything about that world was weird."

"Am I making you depressed again?"

"It's okay. I'll get over it."

- x -

Sunday, January 2, 2011.

By the end of the year, everything was settling into a nice pattern. Haruhi gave me a lot of good ideas for managing paperwork, and that gave me a lot more free time. Meanwhile, Haruhi was living in my apartment, though that generally meant that we saw each other at nights and weekends. Good enough, I say.

In fact, thanks to spending most of our time at our various jobs, we probably did better than good enough. Maybe even better than most couples. I can't say for sure. My mother continued bugging me to get married at some point, though that was just absurd. I knew it wouldn't happen unless Haruhi wanted it to, and there was no way Haruhi would want that kind of pressure. She did consider it for various economic reasons, but she decided in the end to put it off. I couldn't see the reason for it. We weren't raising a family, so marriage didn't really make any sense.

Some colleagues of mine would sigh and sadly shake their heads when they heard things like this, but that only convinced me that I still lived in a backward, misogynistic world. I had a chance to discuss the state of the world with Miss Asahina, who came over to visit during the New Year's break. Haruhi had gone out to visit some other friends for a moment, so I invited Asahina in at my place.

"I just spoke to her," I told Asahina, as we came to my living room. "She should be here any minute, but I guess she got stuck in traffic."

"Oh, okay," she said.

"Well, then," I said, taking a seat. "Happy New Year."

"Thanks," she said, sitting across from me. "Same to you."

"I don't suppose you just came from this time of the year?" I asked.

"I did," she answered.

"Taking time off from family?" I guessed.

"It's no big deal," she softly stated. It looked like I had guessed right.

I then asked, "I don't suppose you found anything in that ephemeris?"

"Nothing beyond some astronomical data," she answered. "That was interesting."

"You ever talk to Nagato about it?" I asked.

"Actually," she answered, "she was the one who suggested it."

"Really?" I asked.

"I know," she said. "It's a little weird."

"I've thought about it," I said, "and all I can figure is that they expect Haruhi to have some kind of weird power."

"Miss Nagato is really creepy," Asahina added.

"Not half as creepy as that idea," I said.

"I'm not sure what to make of it," she complained.

Whatever the explanation, Nagato was never too terribly far away. She had even found work nearby, while Asakura served food at the restaurant where Haruhi worked. I can't complain, since they were old friends, and Nagato's boyfriend obviously didn't mind. I think he worked in a nearby drug store. Haruhi didn't seem to notice anything unusual about all that, and she even seemed more forthcoming than I often expected her to be, lately.

"You want to know for sure?" I asked. "We could ask."

"If you think it's okay..." she said.

Haruhi came in a moment later, quickly getting out of the cold.

"I'm back!" she said.

"Welcome," I answered.

"Oh, ho!" she said, noticing Asahina. "A visitor?"

"She just got here," I said.

"I know," she said. "I saw fresh footprints."

I then explained, "Miss Asahina wanted to ask you about something."

"Why not?" Haruhi said. "I mean, after all the interrogation I've given her."

"Well," Asahina started, "it's kind of..."

I said, "She's wondering if you believe in astrology."

"Yeah," she softly agreed.

"Astrology?" Haruhi sneered. "Of course not! Don't be stupid."

"There you go," I told Asahina.

Haruhi then went to the kitchen to rummage around for a while.

"It's unscientific superstition," she explained. "I thought everybody knew that."

Asahina then stated, "But Miss Nagato had me look into it."

"That's not surprising," Haruhi remarked.

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

She answered, "Yuki takes that kind of thing way too seriously. I mean, a car going by outside has more gravitational influence on us than the moon or the stars."

As she was speaking, I noticed her holding something, and I asked, "What's that?"

"Hey, Mikuru," she said. "Check this out."

Haruhi came into the living room, holding out an opened plastic bowl of ramen.

Asahina asked, "Okay, what am I looking at?"

"Ramen. Duh," Haruhi answered. "Notice anything odd about it?"

"I don't know," Asahina replied. "What is it? It's smaller?"

"That's close," Haruhi said. "It's the noodles."

"They do look a little different," Asahina admitted.

"That's right," Haruhi said. "This particular company has suddenly decided to use a much lower grade of noodles. Why do you think that is?"

I commented, "I think the real question is why a chef at a fancy restaurant is preparing instant ramen."

"Quiet, you," she muttered.

Asahina answered, "I think it's a reflection of the market instability of 2008. Companies in most industries began scaling back the quality of their products since 1987, when the first effects of unsound global economic policies began being observed in the markets."

"It's corporate greed, really," Haruhi explained. "This is just one of the more spectacular signs of that phenomenon."

"You see it in a more personal way?" Asahina asked.

"Doesn't it seem really wrong?" Haruhi complained. "I mean, this is Japan!"

"I'm not sure I understand," Asahina said.

"It's common sense for a Japanese person," Haruhi added.

"She's right, you know," I said. You expect a certain quality from products in this country, so to see them cutting back is a little disheartening. I still liked the smell it was giving off, when Haruhi returned briefly to the kitchen and poured some hot water in it. "You going to eat that?" I asked.

"Get your own," she said. "This is mine."

"That's funny," I remarked. "I think we've figured out the real problem."

Asahina then asked, "So, you don't see it as the confusion of Darwinism imposed over the enforced orderly environment of modern society?"

"I think that's a rather optimistic assessment," I commented.

She then nicely argued, "Isn't it said that one should never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by incompetence?"

"You have a point," I admitted, "but it seems to me that Darwinism is really just an excuse. You shouldn't overlook the profit motive. Where people act individually, you could make a case for their individual motives based on their merits, but where people act on behalf of a group, people can get caught up in groupthink."

Haruhi then told her, "Now, you're going to get it. This is his specialty."

I explained, "If the group is small, like in a family, you can avoid problematic situations. Larger groups become more prone to inefficiency, more likely to suffer delusions of superiority, delusions of invulnerability... They stereotype those who seem to oppose them and then rationalize around genuine challenges, even from within the group. This is really the biggest problem, and it leads to a huge explosion of problems of all kinds."

"Thanks, Professor," Haruhi said. "I think my noodles are testimony enough."

Asahina then sheepishly added, "There was also this noodle shortage a couple years ago."

"Yeah," Haruhi said, "that might also explain it."

- x -

Monday, December 21, 2020.

I think it goes without saying that things had changed somewhat dramatically in that year, and it took a long time to recover. In the meantime, I began working as a consultant for a certain politician, and Haruhi continued being an excellent chef. Her skills as a comedian were obviously very much a welcome relief, and people couldn't get enough of her style of humor, even if it did stink in her own estimation.

All things considered, it could have been much worse. Aside from the craziness in the world, things had settled down to the point that I could relax and let my real talents go to work. I found that I could sympathize with just about anyone I wanted, given a good enough profile, and I could predict what issues they were going to be struggling with. It made me a valuable member of my team, as this type of prediction was a constant problem for anyone working in larger groups (as I well understood).

In a few short years, Haruhi was starting to build enough credibility as a comedian to make her a serious candidate for a TV show. I began getting wind of a certain satellite network that was interested in her doing a show for them. I had some time off, so when Haruhi mentioned a certain meeting, I offered to drive her to the studio. It gave her a chance to go over a few details on the way, so she readily agreed.

"So, have you decided?" I asked at one point, the topic being about an unrelated book deal she was negotiating.

"Yeah," she answered. "I'm definitely going with a book."

"You sure?" I asked. "Because the publishing industry is a really..."

"It's a niche," she admitted. "Right. That's why I like it."

I snidely explained, "So you don't embarrass yourself in front of the whole world. Just a small part of it."

"Jerk," she complained.

"Sorry," I said. "I just wonder why you don't start a blog."

"A blog would be nice if I was a teenager," she remarked.

Haruhi was over thirty, but you wouldn't know it by the way she acted. I sometimes had the impression that she still thought of herself as a teenager.

"Blogging is for flirting," she added. "I'm an adult, you know?"

I suggested, "You should make a dance number out of that. I can just picture it, too."

"Gimme a break," she muttered.

"Speaking of which..." I started.

She interrupted, "I already know what you're going to ask me, so I'll save you the trouble."

She somehow knew about me finding out about her show? Uncanny.

"It's a kid's show," she explained.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes," she stated.

"So, that's your big secret?" I asked. "That you're about to launch a kid's show?"

"I'm about to host a kid's show," she corrected. "It's got me freaked out a little."

"Why are you going in on a Monday?" I asked. "Don't they usually tape those over the weekends?"

She answered, "I'm going in to do some planning sessions. And we'll be having auditions and doing interviews with prospective writers..."

"Sounds like you'll be there till Friday," I remarked. "Should I bother picking you up?"

"I'll get someone there to take me back," she answered.

"So, when do you start up?" I asked.

"The show starts shooting in a month," she replied. "We don't air till April."

"That's quite a lag time," I commented.

She added, "We'll be done with shooting before we even go to air, but it will be four shows a week."

"A nice pace," I said, though I really had no idea what a good pace would be. "You really think a group of writers can handle that?"

"It's a kid's show," she said, "not a crime drama. You and I already did most of the work. Well... Actually, you did most of the work."

"I did?" I asked, drawing a blank.

"You remember that list of topics I had you work on?" she asked.

"That was for this?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "I'm making my shows all topical. I'm going to apply my awesome talents in a fun way to educating kids. It's all very formulaic."

"I see," I said. So, this explained what I had seen all those years ago back when I was just a kid. It was strange, to think that I had played a part in that. It felt a bit like deja vu.

She then added, "I'm going to put a particular emphasis on cooking. I think I'm qualified."

"No doubt," I said.

"You have time off?" she asked.

"Till the New Year," I answered.

"Lucky slob," she complained.

"It's politics," I said.

"Right," she said, undoubtedly thinking of the many times I had explained things this way.

"I'm not really cut out for being a teacher," I said.

"You think so?" she asked.

"I know so," I answered. "Teaching is far more political than what I'm doing now."

Haruhi had seemed to think that I would just go on being a teacher for the rest of my life, but that sort of thing didn't really agree with me. The psychology involved is all very simple and tedious, and the challenge lies primarily in getting thick-headed parents to take you seriously when you tell them for the billionth time that they really do need to get involved in the lives of their children. Being a studied psychologist was actually a huge handicap for doing a job like that. A robot could have done that job better than me.

"I'll be home all week," I added.

"Don't forget Christmas," she said.

"I won't," I promised.

- x -

Sunday, December 25, 2022.

Once Haruhi's show had gained some notoriety, it got picked up by a larger network, and there was talk that she might even get some international exposure. That was hard to imagine, though it wasn't exactly unprecedented. Still, if she was getting to be world-famous, then that meant things were about to change in a big way. Haruhi was already talking about moving in to a new house, though I wasn't sure I could see the point in it. It was funny, but she'd already picked something out by then. She was just waiting for some other deals to close before doing the move.

By this point, she had retired from being a chef, devoting all her free time to the show. She had an impulse to work on recurring characters who would become a more familiar part of the show, rather than trying to deal with topics all the time. It helped the writers out, though I recall some of them hated the idea and left the show then. I liked it, since it allowed them to concentrate on making the show just as fun as it was educational. Motivation is an important part of education. I should know.

In any case, Haruhi was now in an ideal position. Whatever her dreams, this was surely what she'd been hoping for, and I couldn't imagine a better scenario except maybe a better boyfriend. Why she'd wanted to hang around with me for so long, I don't know. That was probably the biggest mystery of all, and I felt really lucky the whole time. Maybe it was fate that I contacted her in the first place about a certain time traveler. I don't know.

Christmas was upon us, and I returned to my apartment to get things ready for Haruhi, who would be returning in a few hours from the various Christmas parties she was attending. To my surprise, I found the place had been pleasantly decorated, and Asakura had been waiting.

"Oh, hey," I said, pleasantly surprised.

"Welcome back," she said.

"Merry Christmas," I greeted her.

"Like the decorations?" she asked.

"Looks nice," I said.

"It seems all so familiar," she remarked.

"This again?" I softly complained.

"I know. I know," she said. "I should just leave it alone. My job is observation."

"It is?" I asked.

She sighed and asked, "You still haven't figured it out?"

"Figured out what?" I asked.

"What Suzumiya is," she answered. "Why I've been forced to watch her live her boring life so many times."

I guessed, "You think she's some kind of god? Is that it?"

"That's actually not too far off," she admitted.

"Jeez," I complained. Sometimes, I really hate being right.

"I know," she said, very sympathetically.

"So, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well," she answered, "this is always kind of a turning point. I could ply you with some wine and romance..."

"Not gonna happen," I said.

"I thought you might say that," she said.

I didn't even feel it at the time, but she'd drawn a knife and had stuck it into my belly. She didn't even glance up at me while she did it.

She just frowned and said, "That's why I'm going to have to kill you."

As I slowly realized what had happened, she then looked up at me with pleading eyes. I stumbled over backwards and fell onto the floor in shock, unable to think that it had really happened.

"Don't you see?" she pleaded. "It's the only way. Nothing else ends this miserable sameness."

"Why the heck...?" I tried to ask, but that just caused some seriously sharp pains that convinced me that this was really happening. The pain was incredible.

She became a little hysterical and added, "And you never once took me seriously. Damn it. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of all of it. It's nothing but the same worthless crap over and over."

I had read about this kind of thing. This was just displaced aggression. This was something she really wanted to do to Haruhi, but she wasn't permitted. I somehow became the same person in her mind, and I was the more convenient target. Somehow, through all the pain, I could see this so clearly in my mind. It made me wonder that I didn't predict it. I had made so many crucial predictions, yet here was a prediction I failed to make and could have cost me my life.

Asakura began to strangely disintegrate before my eyes, then. She then smiled and admitted, "I screwed up, huh? Oh, well. See you in the next world."

I then noticed Nagato, looking a little shocked and still holding out her hand, as if to command the air.

"I'm sorry," I said, thinking that Nagato had lost a valuable peer of hers, thanks to my negligence.

"Don't talk," she told me. "Help is on the way."


	40. A Little Adventure

- Chapter 5: A Little Adventure

Sunday, February 16, 1997.

Having a hard metal object shoved into your guts makes you really appreciate the good things in your life, and I had a lot of time while I recovered in a hospital to reflect on certain things. For example, I could finally remember with crystal clarity the way things had happened so long ago. That first night when I had encountered Mikuru Asahina had been the most crucial turning point in my life, and I understood that she had created this time plane with nothing more than mere words.

I was old enough then to begin noticing things like how you could fit a short fat cup of water into a tall thin glass, but I was still a little unclear on the concept of romance. I had an idea that it involved kissing and hugging, but it seems silly to think of my impressions, now. There wasn't going to be any romance this time around, but I was about to experience something else I wasn't ready for.

Time travel. It was very strange, to say the least, and I couldn't even begin to wrap my mind around it, though I had some ideas at the time. I had read a few comic books on time travel, but they just don't do it justice. The real thing is much more terrifying and exciting.

In retrospect, I wasn't even supposed to be there. I had somehow stowed away with my mother while she made a trip to the city to visit her sister. My mother eventually discovered me, but by then there was nothing for it but to bring me along. I was already in big trouble, so there was no danger of me returning home and not getting punished over something.

We went to a restaurant with a distinctive sign. I remember it now, because it seemed to me that I could see my mother and myself in that sign, and it was simply an omen of what lay in store for me when we returned home. She was going to give me a good scolding, for sure. While my mother and my aunt waited for a table to open up, I took a short peek outside, thinking I had seen something interesting out there. What I saw was a beautiful middle-aged woman, sitting on a bench just outside the restaurant.

"Hey," I said, when I went out to speak to her.

"Hello," she said.

"Aren't you cold?" I asked. "You can wait inside. I don't think they'd mind."

"I'll be all right," she said. Right away, I could tell that this woman was very nice and that she could have probably stayed out here all night had she felt compelled to.

"You waiting for someone?" I asked.

"That's right," she replied.

"I see. So..." I started, wondering how to ask her the obvious.

"Not you," she said. "I'm waiting for myself."

"Okay," I said. "Well, nice talking to you."

"Okay," she said. "Goodnight."

I started to return inside, but the oddness of this situation just got to me. I have this craving to know why whenever things that are mysterious appear. I returned to the woman and pondered for a moment.

I guessed, "You mean you're trying to find yourself, right?"

"Hmm?" she wondered.

"Like," I added, "in a figurative sense, right? You're trying to discover what you truly aspire to or something like that?"

"No," she answered. "I'm literally waiting for my younger self to appear. She'll be about your age, actually. You know? About ten?"

I started laughing, and commented, "You're funny."

She looked at me and faintly smiled, but then she looked serious again.

"You're supposed to laugh, too," I told her.

"I'm not joking," she said.

"No kidding," I observed. "You're really waiting for yourself?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"Oh," I said, "and I'm nine, by the way."

"Nine?" she asked, looking a little surprised.

"Yeah," I said.

"Oh my god," she softly exclaimed.

"What?" I asked.

"Am I...?" she asked. "What year is this?"

"It's 1997," I answered. "You know? Heisei 9? Year of the Ox? Any of those ring a bell?"

She then calmed down and said, "So, I'm in the right year. But..."

"Yeah," I said. "I get that a lot."

She added, "For a moment there, I thought..."

"It's a curse, really," I remarked.

"You know," she said, "you're very mature for your age."

"Really?" I asked.

"You really are," she stated.

I asked, "So, you're a time traveler, huh? Isn't meeting yourself one of those...?"

"Oh, I know," she said. "But, you see, the problem is that I can't let... I have to stop something from happening."

"I see," I said, somewhat familiar with this subject already thanks to a book I'd read. "You're determined to undo something you did before."

"Right," she said.

"Okay," I said. "I get it."

What was really strange was that this woman was so forthcoming. In stories, people are always extremely secretive, and they go to great lengths to avoid having to mention anything. Here was someone who apparently didn't mind telling me anything I wanted to know.

I then mentioned, "You're probably not used to dealing with this wild and crazy era."

"To be honest," she admitted, "I thought I'd get used to it, but yeah."

"Used to it?" I asked.

She explained, "I've been living in this era for over twenty years, but I just can't get over how crazy it really is."

"And don't worry," I assured her. "I won't tell anyone."

"Thanks," she said.

"So..." I said, looking around and waiting for a few moments.

"Yes?" she asked.

"You're a little early, huh?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "actually I should have been here by now. I mean, my younger self should have already... I mean..."

"What?" I asked, thinking that this woman was having a lot of difficulty trying to explain this.

She then settled on, "I was going to stop myself from doing something with you."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes," she said.

"I see," I said, thinking about that for a moment. "Well, it's probably a moot point then."

"I'm starting to think so," she said. "I'll just wait a little longer, though. Just in case."

"Okay," I said.

"It doesn't hurt to be absolutely positive," she added.

I looked around for a minute. It really began to seem like she wasn't going to be encountering herself any time soon.

"Oh no," she said. "Now, I'm starting to worry. Maybe something has gone horribly wrong."

"What makes you say that?" I asked.

"I'm really late," she answered. "I mean, my younger self should have been here an hour ago. This is definitely not right."

"Maybe you already succeeded," I said, pointing out the obvious.

"Say what?" she asked.

"Think about it," I answered. "Suppose you already did stop yourself. How would you know?"

"I..." she started to say something, then stopped herself. She then thought for a moment and admitted, "Okay, that's a good question."

I added, "You really wouldn't know unless you could prove it somehow."

She then said, "I could go check the future really quick and see if something changed in a significant way. Yeah."

"To be completely sure," I added, "you'd have to take someone along to verify what you're seeing."

She looked at me rather oddly after I said that, and I had the impression that she was about to scold me for the suggestion.

"Or am I being a little too transparent?" I asked.

She then smiled and remarked, "You've always been a trouble maker, you know that?"

- x -

Sunday, June 29, 2003.

The woman, of course, was an older version of Mikuru Asahina. I had briefly taken some pride in choosing to kiss her younger version. It seemed like the obvious thing to do at the time, though I can't figure out now why I was thinking that. The older version did a good job of keeping me at arm's length, though she did actually take me to the future. She explained that she needed me to verify her story. She didn't want to have to explain to the cops about her situation if the situation suddenly became a worst case scenario. We were, after all, going to be invading my home and trying to enlist the support of my slightly older self.

Having done that, and becoming a little surprised that we weren't causing something really bizarre to happen in the process, Miss Asahina then directed us to a more secluded location to sort out the rest of this mess. We then made our way to a park with a few covered benches, and got out of the rain. It was early morning, so the only thing I could see besides the park and some vague outline of a neighborhood were bugs swirling around shafts of light.

Eventually, this Koizumi guy appeared. My older self seemed to know him, by the look of recognition on his face.

The guy shook out his umbrella and asked, "You sure we couldn't just hash this out over the phone?"

My older self replied, "This is kind of important, and I don't know how long this will take. I really don't want to get on my mom's bad side."

Asahina asked, "Isn't there an all-night cafe or something around here?"

"There is on my side of town," Koizumi answered.

My older self complained, "You could have mentioned that before."

"Sorry," Koizumi said, sincerely apologizing.

"That's okay," Asahina told us. "This will only take a few minutes. It's just important that we're not disturbed."

"So..." Koizumi started, then asked, "Why did you need me?"

"I'm sorry," Asahina responded, "but this is kind of..."

"Yeah," my older self complained. "Why did we need him?"

Asahina looked a little dumbfounded at that question, but I picked up right away on what was going on here.

I guessed, "He's the brains, then?"

"Oh..." Koizumi said, looking at me. "I think I see one problem."

"You have a problem with me?" I asked.

He answered, "I think one of you is already plenty. No offense."

Asahina then explained to Koizumi, "What I need from you is to help us out, here. We're at a bit of an impasse."

"Okay," he said. "Well, I'll help in any way I can."

"That's terrific," she said. "Okay, here's the situation: we can't figure out which time plane this is."

"I see," he said. "You could just ask Miss Nagato. I'm sure she could tell you."

"Who?" my older self asked.

"You haven't met her?" Koizumi asked him.

"I don't think so," he answered, a little uncertainly.

"Well..." Koizumi started to explain.

"No," Asahina interrupted him. "But thanks. I'd really like to avoid dealing with her."

"Okay," he said.

She explained, "I'm already in a bit of trouble with her, and I'd really like to avoid her if possible."

"I see," he said, making an odd gesture to his forehead.

"All right," she said. "Here's what I know: I originally came from the first time plane."

"How do you know?" he asked.

She replied, "Because I have the original memories. I'm the only one of me who does. That's part of the problem. You see, only I can remember a certain event in the past while that event is a recurring memory for everyone in this era."

"Interesting," he commented.

"Till the sixth time plane," she added, "that memory repeated. You see... The younger me and the younger Kyon had a little..."

"She kissed me," I helpfully supplied.

"It was really more the other way around," she softly corrected, looking a little exasperated.

"I don't remember that," the older me stated.

"I know," she said. "That's the problem."

"Okay," Koizumi said, looking a little uncomfortable with all this. "I see. Well, then. Isn't it obvious?"

"What?" she asked.

"This is the seventh time plane," he answered. He indicated the older me and said, "This one is number seven and..." he turned to me and added, "...this one is number eight."

"That's obvious?" the older me asked.

"It's just a guess, really," Koizumi said. "Admittedly, I have no idea how time travel works. I only know Miss Asahina from her dossier."

"Jeez," she complained.

"Just out of curiosity," he asked her, "which Mikuru Asahina is the one I know?"

"You mean in that club?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"She came from the fourth time plane."

"I see. Interesting."

"The real problem is that the me who traveled to the third time plane had no memory of that incident, but..."

"Ah. That would be awkward, I guess."

"I didn't want a repeat of that."

"So, here we are."

It seems obvious what they were suggesting with all this, but at the time, all that simply went over my head. This whole situation had been created out of a strange romantic confusion, and it seemed really alien to me at the time. I didn't understand how it was all doubtlessly thick with some kind of jealousy and disappointment.

"Right," she said. "The difficulty is that I have no memory of stopping myself, so I can't explain how this seventh time plane even exists. Assuming this is the seventh time plane."

"So," he surmised, "a lasting change to the past is what creates a time plane in the first place? Am I right in saying that?"

"Yes," she answered, "I think so."

He then prompted, "And the reason it's called a time plane and not a time vector or time line is..."

She answered, "A time plane can resolve any number of paradoxes within itself. Mathematically, it uses the same construct as a plane. I'm pretty sure it's just a way to visualize the math involved."

"Okay," he said.

She added, "Another way to visualize paradoxes would be to visualize time lines, but branching off like the branches of a tree. That would actually be more accurate, but it's a lot harder to approximate all the equations. I mean, you'd have to use fractals and other non-linear equations rather than the standard planar approximations."

"Hmm..." he said, thinking.

I then suggested, "Suppose you already had stopped me." I liked this idea, and I didn't think anyone had been taking it seriously enough at this point.

"Oh, yes," Koizumi said, agreeing. "Now, I see."

"What?" Asahina asked.

"It's simple, really," he answered. "You already prevented that situation, but some other incident has created another you the same way you can create new iterations of myself and everyone else in this era."

"An earlier incident?" she asked, looking a little puzzled.

"That's right," he said. "Surely, there are other time travelers..."

"Oh!" she said. "I remember now."

"What?" he asked.

She answered, "The fourth me also went back nine years ago, to 1994. I completely forgot about that."

"Jeez," the older me complained, looking very confused.

"This explains it," Koizumi said, nodding sagely.

"So," Asahina realized, "I'm not really the first."

"No," he agreed. "Now that I think about it, you're really a repetition of number one from the seventh time plane. That would make you number eight. Or maybe I should call you seven-point-one. One-point-seven?"

The older me then sighed deeply, now completely out of the loop.

"I apologize," Koizumi told him. "This is confusing to me, too."

"Way to go, younger bro," my older self told me. "I think we've solved the mystery."

"Yes," Koizumi said. "Not bad for a fourth-grader."

"I'm actually in the third grade," I informed him.

"Third grade?" he asked.

"I thought I was in fourth grade that year," the older me complained.

"I will be in April," I said. "Duh."

"Oh..." he said, scowling at himself.

"I just came from February," I explained.

- x -

Friday, June 17, 1994.

To correct the mistake in the further past, Asahina would have to go back to a time that I can only dimly recall. She also didn't want me out of her sight, and she expressed some surprise at her first attempt to travel back in time. She then began glowing, and we suddenly found ourselves on a grassy hillside in the late spring. In fact, we literally found ourselves and stopped my older self from doing something equally as stupid as confusing me with a fourth-grader.

I recall making eye contact with a young girl who I assume now was Haruhi, but she seemed disinterested in me. She mostly stared at the two Asahinas, apparently wondering how they were related. The girl and what appeared to be her mother moved along, and that enabled the other Asahina and my other self to get about their business. Meanwhile, the older Asahina and myself went to a nearby coffee shop.

"That was pretty cool," I said, when we entered.

"You enjoyed that?" she asked.

I explained, "I like the way my older self recognized you right away. That was funny."

"I was wondering what you were laughing at," she admitted.

I added, "I didn't expect it to start raining right there. Good thing you have that umbrella."

She remarked, "That's an old rule for us time travelers. Never go anywhere without your umbrella."

I wondered how many other old rules she had. Somehow, I doubted allowing people who belonged in the past to travel with you was one of those rules.

She added, "You have to complete the requisite ten trips to the past to earn that bit of advice, though."

We went to a table and watched the rain fall a little longer.

"Okay," I said, "so now what?"

"You'll have to excuse me," she said. "I'm still a little freaked out."

"About what?" I asked.

"You remember when we started to jump?" she asked.

"You mean, when we left the park?" I guessed.

"Right," she answered. "And then this bright light came down from the sky."

"From the sky?" I said. "It looked to me like you started glowing a bright white. I thought that was part of..."

"No," she told me. "That isn't normal. That was really weird, actually. I've never seen that happen."

"Wow," I said. "So, this whole trip is a temporal phenomenon?"

"I don't know, anymore," she replied. "And there's something bugging me that I can't quite put my finger on. There's something we overlooked. Oh, jeez."

"I don't get it," I said. "We figured it out, right?"

She softly agreed, "I thought so, but..."

"But?" I prompted.

"Okay..." she explained. "Here's the deal. When we started to travel to this time, I couldn't get a fix on it. It was like everything before 1997 had just vanished. For a moment, I thought I'd triggered a time quake, but then I suddenly had a fix on this time. But it was only to this specific time. I somehow created a temporal nexus, and that isn't supposed to happen."

"I have no idea what you just said," I softly admitted.

"You know how time travel works?" she asked.

"No," I answered.

She then added, "The way the TPDD works is that it lets you disrupt one dimension, thereby allowing its negative or inverse dimension to emerge. There's this common misconception that it destroys dimensions, but that's just... I can't figure out why they thought that."

I then stated, "The human brain is the most mysterious thing in the universe."

"That's true," she said. "But my point is that the TPDD isn't designed to actually create dimensions. But I think that's what just happened. And if that's true, it could also be that..."

"We somehow destroyed a dimension?" I guessed.

"Oh my," she said, shaking her head. "Don't even say it out loud. It's too horrifying."

"Okay," I said, "so there was a time quake?"

"Right," she answered. "I think so. Maybe my TPDD is getting too old."

"Your time machine is malfunctioning?" I asked.

She didn't seem sure, so I gave it some thought. Or rather, I should say that I calmed down and did what my grandmother always taught me. I gave it some non-thought. I just cleared my mind and waited for the facts to speak for themselves. A few moments later, it simply came to me.

"Okay," I said, "I think I get it."

"What?" she asked.

I answered, "In traveling to this specific point or nexus in time, you inadvertently created a kind of temporary bridge to another dimension. That's how the eighth time plane came into being. However, in creating this new dimension, you also blew away the previous dimension. Which is what happened to the previous six time planes. I'm not sure, but I think the seventh time plane is some kind of transitional plane. It had to exist in this dimension, or else the eighth time plane's existence would become paradoxical."

"I guess so," she admitted.

"But then..." I said, suddenly having problematic thoughts again. "Why did the time quake occur in the first place?"

"Oh jeez..." she said, her face filling with recognition.

"What?" I asked.

"I think I know," she said.

"You do?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered, though she wasn't in a hurry to add anything to that.

- x -

Sunday, April 23, 2023.

Since I had promised not to reveal anything about the future, Asahina took me to the future for a short visit. Once again, she didn't really want to take a chance on leaving me in 2003, and she didn't want to leave 1994 alone without some weird confirmation of what she was assuming might happen. We emerged in a parking lot, and walked out into a busy street corner sidewalk.

I looked around and marveled at how little anything had actually changed, even after more than twenty years. Everything looked different, but it was somehow the same, as well. It's hard to describe. Asahina stopped in front of one particular store and pointed out a display window filled with televisions.

"Okay," she said, "check this out."

"All right," I said, looking at them.

As I watched, I saw a group of costumed actors apparently singing in front of a crowd of children about my age, and one woman in particular was obviously at the center of it. It looked like a really obtuse parody, and the performance included dancing around, using oversized props on each other.

"Oh, I love this show!" Asahina said. "I'm so glad we got this path."

"Someone you know?" I asked.

"This is Haruhi Suzumiya," she answered. "She gets to be very popular, no matter what she does. I guess you could call it her fate."

"Really?" I asked.

She then added, "In the sixth time plane, she became a guitarist and lead singer in a band, but then she made this huge gaffe."

"Gaffe?" I said.

She explained, "She claimed she didn't know who Michael Jackson was. I thought she was kidding, but it blew up into a huge scandal."

"Wow," I interjected, not able to imagine how someone couldn't know who Michael Jackson was.

She added, "It got messy and she ended up getting divorced. I could hardly believe it, myself."

"So," I asked, "this is her other fate? To become a singer in a morning kid's show?"

"Among other things," she answered.

"Oh," I said, recognizing her, "this is that girl."

"Yes," Asahina said, confirming it.

"So," I realized, "she would be thirty-five at this point."

"That's right," she said.

"She doesn't look too bad for thirty-five," I remarked.

"She doesn't look like it," Asahina said, "but she uses a lot of make up."

"Yeah?" I asked.

She concluded, "I guess that event really did determine this outcome."

"So," I asked, "she becomes a performer in every time plane?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Well, except for the first one. In that one, she became the founder of a small corporation that later started the war of 2169."

Even at such a young age, I realized what Asahina was telling me. In modern times, you don't draw attention to a particular war unless it has some special significance, seeing how there are so many wars. It almost always implies a war of worldwide scope.

She then conceded, "I guess it would be a little unfair to say that her corporation started it, but it's hard not to find fault. And anyway, that war always happens whether her corporation starts it or not."

"Just how far in the future are you from?" I asked.

"Far. Very far."

"You seem very contemporary to me."

"Like I said. I've been living here for twenty years. You pick up a few things in that amount of time."

- x -

Tuesday, February 18, 1997.

Having mentioned a future war, I suspect historians from the future will probably try to refer to the above as a "later insertion." It makes it easier to accept than the idea of genuine time travel. I know. I sometimes liked to tell myself that this all really didn't happen, especially since I returned to the past about a day-and-a-half late.

For some reason, Asahina felt like we needed my older self along on this trip, though it seemed to make no sense to me. We made a brief stop at 2003, then went back to 1997. It was fun, but now it was time to go home, though I didn't recognize where we were, at first.

"This is it," she said.

"Back here?" I asked, looking around. "I don't live here."

"You don't?" she asked.

"No," I said, starting to recognize that this was where Asahina had run into me in front of the restaurant.

My older self suggested, "I suppose we could take another shot at this..."

"I don't want to risk it," she said. "We're way too close to that time quake as it is."

"Sheesh," I complained.

My older self then told me, "You'll just have to hoof it all the way back."

"You've gotta be kidding me," I said.

"Yeah," he said, "you're right."

"What do we do?" Asahina asked, looking seriously worried.

"Don't worry about it," my older self answered. He then turned to me and said, "Lucky for you, you have an aunt who lives nearby."

"Oh, right," I said. "I've been to her house."

"You know where it is?" he asked.

"Hmm..." I thought for a moment, only able to see a hazy picture of it in my mind, having only been there a few times.

"Never mind," he said. "I'll draw a map."

"That's a relief," Asahina said.

My older self took out a small pad and began drawing on it, quickly proving that he was very familiar with the location of my aunt's place.

"How much money do you have?" he asked.

"Me?" Asahina asked.

"Yes," he said. "We're going to need it."

"I just have..." she answered, taking out her wallet and removing some bills, "...this."

She handed me the money, and I stuffed it away into my pants pockets.

"That'll do," the older me said. "Go to Aunt's place and wait for her. When she shows up, ask her to take you to the bus station. You got that?"

"Got it," I said.

He then tore out the paper and gave it to me.

"If anybody asks," he added, "you got bored and decided to take a little adventure. Don't say anything about time travel."

"Obviously," I muttered.

"Right," he said. "Forgot who I was talking to, there."

"Well," I said, putting the map into another pocket, "I guess I'll see you later."

"Goodbye," Asahina said.

I started to leave, but then I said, "You know, you never told me what caused the time quake."

"Yeah," she answered. "It'll just have to remain a mystery. Sorry."

I then turned and left, but this was just too good. I ran around a building and snuck back up behind them again, just close enough that I could hear Asahina and my older self, still talking.

"Thanks to you," she complained, "I'm now completely broke."

"Welcome to the club," he said.

"I hate being broke, you know?" she said.

"It's no fun for me, either," he said.

She then deeply sighed and added, "And I have no idea what I'm going to do. I think I'll see if I can scam something out of my number seven. That is, if you don't screw up the future too much."

"What was the time quake?" he asked. "I'm curious now."

"Well..." she answered. "I guess there's no harm in telling you."

"May as well," he said.

She then explained, "You know how the first me stopped myself from that kiss with you?"

"I have thought about it," he answered, "and yeah. It's been bothering me, too."

She added, "I had thought I could get away with it because Miss Suzumiya had encountered herself, once."

"She did?"

"Yes. I witnessed it. Well, actually... I was passed out at the time."

I wasn't sure, but it seemed like a painful memory for her, because Asahina stopped for several long moments.

She then continued, "But she had stopped herself from going to one high school and had sent herself to another."

"Weird," my older self said.

Asahina then added, "I guess that instance didn't become a time quake because she can somehow make time planes loop back on themselves without some kind of weird inner loop forming within the time plane."

"So, that's what a time quake is?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered, "I think so. I think what happened was that I created a duality. That's when you have a paradox that repeats itself in one of two different ways. Only, in this case, I made a duality that repeated across the temporal paradox differential of the six time planes involved."

"I'm guessing that was a lot of time," he said.

She explained, "With all that energy involved, it's no wonder you can't disrupt the dimensions around it to the past beyond."

"Okay," he said. "I'm just agreeing to be polite again."

"Sheesh," she said.

"And there's no way to go back to your old time plane?" he asked.

"No," she answered. "Oh, that reminds me. I'll need to gently inform my number four."

"Who?" he asked.

"She's the me who came to your time plane," she answered.

"She's stuck here?" he asked.

"Well," she answered, "there's no time plane number four to go back to. It's all seven plus, from now on."

"That's going to be rough."

"And there's one other thing..."

"What is it?"

"I'm going to need to erase your memory."

"Really? What for?"

For a moment, I wasn't sure she was going to answer him. Erase his memory? That made me wonder whether she'd already erased my memory, somehow.

She then answered, "It's just of the past twelve hours. I can't have you telling the fourth me about any of this. It's just way too startling. Sorry."

"You have to erase my memory?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"I could just keep it secret," he suggested.

"This is too much," she explained. "I really don't want to impose on your psyche. And anyway, it'll all come back to you in time."

"Oh..." he then said. "Well, then. No problem."

"Thanks a lot," she said.

"How much time are we talking about?" he asked.

She answered, "I think I'll need you to forget about this for... five to ten years should be about right."

"Well..." he said. "Thanks, I guess."

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"Yeah..." he answered, then hurriedly added, "Wait a sec."

"What is it?" she asked.

"I just remembered," he answered. "I told Miss Tsuruya I'd meet her at a coffee shop."

"You did?" she asked

"Yeah," he answered. "And then I switched the phone into vibrate mode and left it in my desk drawer."

"Why did you do that?" she asked.

"I didn't want her bugging me," he replied. "She's been calling me like ten times a day, lately."

"Oh, jeez," she said.

At that point, I thought the conversation was over, and I was about to leave when I heard my older self speaking again.

"Never mind," he said. "It's okay."

"You sure?" she asked.

"It's no big deal. I'm sure she'll get over it."

"She's going to be disappointed."

"That's okay. She's used to it."

- Fin

- x -

- Extra

- Scene 21, take 2

Mikuru #4 approaches Mikuru #1 in front of the restaurant.

Mikuru #1: A little older than I expected.

Mikuru #4: Yeah. I never expected to be able to get here.

Mikuru #1: Why is that?

Mikuru #4: Well, there is the matter of that time quake you created.

Mikuru #1: Time quake?

Mikuru #4: Thankfully, Miss Nagato has a way around that.

Mikuru #1: How on Earth?

Mikuru #4: It's classified.

Mikuru #1: So, what happened?

Mikuru #4: You succeeded.

Mikuru #1: I did? But, I haven't done anything yet.

Mikuru #4: Yes, I know. But this is now the ninth time plane.

Mikuru #1: Nine?

Mikuru #4: And, thanks to you, there's no fourth for me to return to.

Mikuru #1: Oh no... I didn't think this through enough.

Mikuru #4: Yes. I guess this is my punishment for screwing up the way I did in the fifth time plane.

Mikuru #1: You did? I thought you just had a near miss.

Mikuru #4: That isn't the way I remember it.

Mikuru #1: This is getting too weird.

Mikuru #4: (sigh) But, on the bright side, I'll finally get to see what Miss Nagato was referring to in that weird sixth time plane encounter.

Mikuru #1: I don't think you really want to know.

Mikuru #4: Really?

Mikuru #1: It's not going to be pretty.

- x -

- Scene 24, part 2

Midafternoon at the park. Older Kyon meets up with Mikuru and younger Kyon.

Older Kyon: Hey. You two ready?

Mikuru: I'm ready.

Young Kyon: I was ready half an hour ago. Why did we need...?

Mikuru: We need someone who knows their way around.

Young Kyon: I can find my own way, actually.

Mikuru: I'd rather not risk it.

Older Kyon: With all the messing around, I'm surprised we haven't made more paradoxes.

Mikuru: We probably have, but not the kind worth worrying about.

Young Kyon: That one from six years ago is the problem.

Mikuru: Yes. And that's why we need to take you back.

Older Kyon: So it won't become an even bigger problem.

Young Kyon: I could just stay in the future.

Mikuru: You don't want that.

Older Kyon: I'm sorry. I forgot I was a little...

Mikuru: Every kid is a little...

Young Kyon: You worry too much. Mom and Dad won't even miss me.

Older Kyon: (sigh)

Mikuru: You'll be lucky if you get off with a scolding.

Older Kyon: (muttering) I'm glad I never did anything this crazy.

Mikuru: You never ran away?

Older Kyon: I did, but I came right back after ten hours.

Young Kyon: That won't happen to me.

Mikuru: I hope you're right.

- x -

- Concerning birthdays

Proofreader: What's up with these exact dates?

Author: You did leave that up to me, you know.

Proofreader: I know, but...

Author: Yes?

Proofreader: Aren't all these dates a little...

Author: Something wrong with them?

Proofreader: Never mind.

Author: I'll take that as an unqualified approval.

Proofreader: (sigh)

Author: You'll think of it next time.

Proofreader: Can you at least tell me whether Kyon is really nine in chapter 5?

Author: He says he is.

Proofreader: Yes, but is he really? Come on.

Author: Okay, he's either eight or nine. Depending on his exact birthday.

Proofreader: Which is...?

Author: I'll give you a hint. It's not July 13th.

Proofreader: I already knew that.

Author: You should know by now that I never ruin a running gag unless I have a very good reason for it.

Proofreader: Birthday omission is a running gag?

Author: You didn't know that? Weird.

Proofreader: Well, I do now.

- x -


	41. Five To One

Origins of Haruhi - The Discontent of Haruhi Suzumiya

- x -

- Foreword

I should admit that every now and then I get the impulse to do something really crazy. I can normally restrain myself, but what would happen if I didn't have that ability? This may sound kind of cheesy and stupid, but I think this story has given me the answer. The funny thing is that it can only happen in a world where Haruhi Suzumiya has no direct influence on me. There's something brilliantly ironic about that. It also occurs to me that there's a fine line between what I am and what I could be. The thought is very disturbing. Believe me.

This story concerning the brief encounters between the me who vanished and the me who never should have appeared in the first place is a rather illuminating one. The bulk of it only takes place over three days, but it seems to me like a lifetime worth of incidents take place. This is made all the more substantial to me by the fact that I sympathize the most with this me who had disappeared. I've had a number of similar incidents in my life, and our approach to things is almost identical. I don't expect to end up living out the majority of my life in the future, but the manner in which things suddenly happen and the way we respond to them is eerie in its similarity.

Thankfully, this story is told from the point of view of the me I identify with, and it does seem like the more interesting story, though I get the feeling that this isn't really the ninth story. This is really volume seven, part two. I mentioned that to Yuki Nagato, and she firmly corrected me. As far as she's concerned, this is the ninth volume, and that's an absolute fact. I guess I can understand, considering where her sympathies no doubt lie. It is true that the majority of this story takes place in the ninth time plane, so I can let that go.

If you're wondering why I've been sitting on this volume for so long, it's because there is one part of this story I've been dreading reading about since volume six. There is a cruel rejection story that this me relates, and I can't help feeling like it's absurdly one-sided, though it is the heart of this story. I can't figure out whether it should be in this volume or not. It really feels like it should, so I'll keep it. Damn it. No offense intended to Mikuru Asahina. I understand that she's really just an innocent bystander in all of this. Please keep that in mind while you read, and try to understand that my views are very much biased in favor of myself.

I'd like to express my gratitude to Yuki Nagato for keeping this volume safely locked away in whatever dark corner of her mind she kept this in. It couldn't have been easy for her to rehash all this, and it makes me wonder about all those autobiographies I've been writing. Does she merely collect them, or does she control who reads them, as well? I guess I can understand that she would have to limit the exposure of a volume like this one, given that it relates to her work, but I wonder just how much she's been denying access. It's probably just as well, but I can't help but feel that there's maybe a hidden bio or two that I'm never going to read. It's thoughts like this that keep me awake at night.

- x -

- Chapter 1: Five To One

Once upon a time, there lived a girl whose every whimsical notion of oddness came true at every twist and turn in her life. I happen to know that this is true because I was there. This girl's name is Haruhi Suzumiya. And if you had told me that she would eventually encounter every crazy thing possible up to and including being considered a god, I wouldn't have doubted it. The thing I didn't expect is that it would actually happen. Reality has a way of doing that. It's so annoying.

In fact, the one time I had thought was relatively normal (an ordinary excursion to a mansion in the mountains) turned out to be packed with hidden weirdness. But I'm digressing. This is not that story. This is a story about how I had apparently become so bland and tasteless that the world itself spit me out. How exactly did this happen, you ask? Well... It's a long story involving me and a truck and a mysterious figure. I'll get back into that later. For now, let's move the clock ahead a bit to this more interesting encounter I had at the museum.

I was just thinking about how remarkably short life is and how I had never really appreciated the fact that the local museum had a nice set of paintings I could feel free to enjoy whenever I wanted. It let me get my head straighter than I had before, and it allowed me to seriously think about the way my life was heading. I hadn't really noticed it, but my life had become far too easy. Or at least, that was the way I had felt about it. All this college and planning for the future stuff had been racing by me so fast that I hadn't really appreciated these moments where I could just stand and admire what was beautiful around me.

So, here I was, at the local art gallery. Here was something I had never had the inclination to do, though I had once stood in line for five hours to buy a video game (and hadn't really noticed the time spent there until later). The remarkable thing about really great paintings is that they take something that seems very ordinary and bland, and they make it seem somehow extraordinary in some subtle way. Paintings play tricks on your mind in many subtle ways, actually. The ones that do it in the less obvious ways are the ones that I consider truly remarkable.

I was just about to look around for some convenient stranger with whom I could share these thoughts when I noticed Haruhi. She seemed to be puzzling over this very idea while looking at one particular painting. For a few moments, I could only shake my head and wonder. Haruhi had never shown me any inclination to appreciate the world of art. In fact, I had always thought her strongly averse to the whole world of art.

"So," I remarked to her, "it's just literature you can't stand?"

"Excuse me?" she softly answered.

I supplied, "I didn't figure you for the type to be cultured, you know."

She then turned and looked at me with an expression of utter amazement, and I was reminded forcibly of just how childish Haruhi can be, at times. It wasn't just the haughty sneer on her face or the tone in her voice, but even the fact that she has this precocious nasally quality to her voice that gives me this impression. I'm pretty sure her lack of vocal quality isn't really her fault, but the rest of the expression took me aback and made me wonder for a moment why I had dared to speak to her.

"Are you speaking to me?" she asked, very surprised.

"Is there anyone else?" I asked, indicating with my eyes the distinct lack of anyone else in the area at the time.

She then nervously remarked, "Well, aren't you the rude one." She then began walking away in her usual firm but somewhat casual way of walking away.

This was so utterly unlike her that I was a little unsure at first that this was truly Haruhi I had been speaking to. I then confirmed in my memory that it was and began walking toward her.

"Hold on," I said, wondering what had come over her.

"Piss off," she snapped. "Whoever you are."

"Whoever I...?" I said, getting seriously thrown for a loop here. "Whoa."

"What?" she asked, stopping to grimly consider me. "You're starting to annoy me."

"You can't be serious," I said, becoming a little annoyed myself. "Haruhi, are you playing some kind of weird prank on me? It isn't funny."

"What makes you think...?" she started, then sighed and added, "I have no idea who you are. Trust me. I think I would know."

"Do you?" I asked, chafing at the snarl on her face. "You haven't suffered amnesia or something?"

"Look," she said, clearly losing her patience. "Go away, or I'll call the cops. I'm serious."

She then began a more purposeful stride away from me. This was a way of walking that clearly said that I was intruding. I hadn't expected to get upset at the thought of Haruhi forgetting about me, but the reality of it really irked me in a way I hadn't thought possible. To be ignored is one thing, but to be forgotten about entirely is just nerve wracking in a way you seldom experience outside of a severe beating.

- x -

It was all very perplexing. I then left the museum in a kind of daze, mostly thinking about the fact that Haruhi had threatened to report me to the police. Now, I'm not afraid of police, but I happen to know that Haruhi doesn't really trust the police. She had often told me that you never report anything unless your life is in immediate danger and you are absolutely given no choice in the matter. To hear her threatening to report anything, let alone my innocent remarks to her, was just mind-boggling. She must have really felt threatened, and I couldn't help reaching the conclusion that she had seriously forgotten me.

I retreated to the solace of a fast food restaurant. This was a habit that Haruhi had gotten me into. Any time I have big issues to consider, I find myself at a burger joint or eating ramen or something similar. You can't think straight if you're hungry, and I really needed something familiar to settle my thoughts. I was just about to finish up my soda when I noticed Itsuki Koizumi appear. He took a surprised notice of me, and came over to my table.

"Oh, hello!" he said. "Didn't expect to see you here."

That's more like it. Someone who doesn't freak out at the thought of a conversation with me. I relaxed a little and offered, "Hey. Why don't you have a seat?"

He seemed a little reluctant, but then answered, "I really shouldn't, but okay."

Koizumi is a guy I knew in high school, and it never failed to amuse me how much girls would stare at him. He never seemed to notice, though he also couldn't help showing pleasure whenever a girl seemed nervous to approach him. He once said that he liked to think that there were invisible beams of light streaming from his eyes, and it tickled his fancy to see a girl looking away as if blinded by that light.

I was somewhat surprised when he took out his cell phone right away. Koizumi had never failed to be polite in many annoying ways, so to see him acting very casually was a little odd.

"You have a hot date?" I asked, trying to recall who he was dating, recently.

"Very funny," he answered, sounding a little disapproving.

"That's odd," I muttered, not familiar with this particular tone.

He then added, "I told my girlfriend that I'm at work. If she catches me goofing off..."

"I see," I said, not really interested.

"Hey, Shiori," he said into his phone. "What's up?"

Shiori? That sounded suspiciously like a given name. When did Koizumi start dating someone to the extent that he could comfortably do that? I probed my memory, but I came up blank.

"Nah, I just got out," he continued. "Slow day, today. I'll see you later. Or sooner."

"You work?" I asked, recalling that that seemed odd as well.

"Sorry, what?" he told the phone.

I could hear Shiori's voice. She was not a low-talker by any stretch of the imagination. It sounded something like she was wanting to go see a movie.

Koizumi started laughing and commented, "We haven't tried doing something like that in years."

I shook my head and began cleaning up my end of the table, as I realized that I didn't really know Koizumi all that well. It's rare that he lets me in on anything in his personal life. Not that it's any of my business.

"All right," he said. "I'll let you know. Bye."

"Shiori?" I asked him, wondering who this latest girlfriend was.

"Yeah," he answered, "that was her. She can't get by five minutes without me."

I softly admitted, "I just had the weirdest encounter, earlier today."

"What?" he asked.

I explained, "I found myself suddenly thinking that I'd never really appreciated the art gallery at the museum."

"What brought that on?" he asked.

"Well," I answered, "that's not really the weird part. I just nearly got hit by a truck."

"Say what?"

"It's a long story. Anyway, I go to the gallery and notice Haruhi."

"Haruhi?"

"Yeah. And she was just staring at paintings. Didn't even recognize me. Weird, huh?"

Koizumi then stared blankly at me with that odd deer-in-headlights look he sometimes gives me.

"I started to talk to her," I added, "and she acted like she didn't know me. It's bizarre."

"Are you feeling all right?" he asked, sounding a little more worried than usual.

"Yeah," I replied. "Why?"

He then asked, "You're referring to Haruhi Suzumiya, right?"

"That's right," I answered. "Why do you ask? Who else would I be referring to?"

"Excuse me for a moment," he said, seeming very nonplussed by all this. He then got up from the table and began pointing at his forehead in thought.

I asked him, "Did she recently suffer amnesia or something? I know she likes to do some crazy, impulsive things, sometimes. I never expected her to actually come down with something."

I could see that Koizumi had a very disturbed look on his face. At the time, I had thought that he was as puzzled over Haruhi's behavior as I was. He told me, "Hold on for a moment. Just a moment. Sorry."

He then took out his phone again and began dialing up someone.

"You want something to eat?" I offered. "I could order you something."

"No, thank you," he replied. He then said to the phone, "Oh, hi. I really need your help."

"Was it something I said?" I asked.

"Oh, you're on the way?" he then added. "Thanks." He then put away his phone and returned to his seat across from me, still not quite recovered from his shock.

"So, who was that?" I asked.

He answered, "I figured maybe Miss Nagato would know what's going on, here. This temporal stuff is just way too weird for me."

"Oh, that was Yuki?" I asked. "What'd you need from her?"

"Well..." he said. He stopped himself and then explained, "This is clearly the result of another weird paradox. Maybe I'm not the right person to explain all this."

"Oh," I said. "More time travel nonsense, huh?"

"So, you actually know Miss Nagato?"

"Sure. We all used to hang out in high school, you know?"

I had thought he had gotten confused over names. That sometimes happens to me, at any rate. Time travel has a way of making ordinary situations become very confusing, so I could understand. Or, at least I thought I understood.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked, wondering why he was starting to stare.

"Definitely a temporal paradox," he muttered. "I apologize if this sounds rude, but I'm betting that there's two of you right now."

"Two of me?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered, "and if I'm right about this, you're the one Miss Nagato warned me about a couple months ago."

"So," I wondered, "there's a me from some other time plane? That doesn't really explain..."

"No," he said. "I mean that you are from some other time plane. You see?"

"Oh, I see," I said. Not. How on Earth could I be from some other time plane? I haven't gone anywhere. It was just too much hassle to lay all that on Koizumi, so I left it alone. At that moment, I saw Yuki appear. If anyone could sort this out, it would be her.

"Thanks a lot," Koizumi said, noticing where I was looking.

"Hello," I warmly greeted her. "Why don't you join us?"

"Thank you," she said, sitting at our table.

"You know," I started, "you still haven't apologized."

"For what?" she asked.

"The incident with my mother," I answered. "She was very upset."

"Did you explain...?" she asked Koizumi.

He answered, "I attempted to, but I don't really get things like that."

Yuki adjusted her glasses and added, "I'm sorry, but I can no longer make amends for her misunderstandings. You are no longer the same person in this time plane."

"Excuse me," Koizumi interrupted, "but what was that about, if I may ask?"

I casually explained, "My mother thought I was going out with Haruhi, so when Yuki corrected that misunderstanding, my mother took it rather personally."

"I think I understand," he acknowledged. "Sorry to interrupt."

"What is this about me being a different person?" I asked Yuki.

She answered, "The you that emerged along with this iteration is not someone you would recognize as yourself."

I should point out here that Yuki has an odd quirk in her inflections that makes them seem more mechanical than organic. It usually leaves me puzzling what she's saying for a moment or two, but then I can usually piece it together after I think about it.

"We're different?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"I don't suppose you could go into detail," I wondered.

She added, "This iteration, you were meant to give Haruhi Suzumiya a means by which to analyze the value of her existence more accurately. To that end, she needed two distinctly different but same people to approach her when the time was right."

"This again?" I asked, thinking of when she had told me that right after entering college.

Koizumi looked about as baffled as I've ever seen him, and I have to say, I could relate to that state of mind.

"As I said," Yuki continued, "Haruhi Suzumiya does not limit herself to singular notions of temporal planes or positions in space. She has the ability to manipulate any data at any time."

Koizumi then remarked, "And here I thought I had retired from all this."

"Retired?" I asked, my mind whirling. "From what?"

"That information was withheld," Yuki informed me.

"What information?" I asked her.

She explained, "Itsuki Koizumi has the ability to confront the data aberrations that emerge from Haruhi Suzumiya's subconscious."

"Which means?" I asked, not even beginning to understand all that gibberish.

"You were never told?" he asked me. "Really?"

"It means," she answered, "in common terminology, that he is an esper."

"So," Koizumi then ventured, "I would just hang out with you guys in your time plane?"

"As far as I know," I answered.

Yuki added, "The disclosure of that information was still being decided when you disappeared."

"When exactly did I disappear?" I asked, still not quite clear on when all this had supposedly happened.

"I am not familiar with that data," she answered. "I can, however, state with certainty that you cannot return to that time plane."

"I can't?" I asked. "Why not?"

"Because that dimension no longer exists," she answered.

"I see," Koizumi said. "This explains why you warned me about this."

"What happened to it?" I asked Yuki.

"That is unknown," she answered. "Investigation is still pending."

- x -

For those of you who are now wondering, Yuki Nagato has described herself as a "humanoid interface" for a data entity of some kind. To put it simply, she's basically an alien. Or maybe an alien android. I'm not altogether clear on all that. I now know a lot more about her than I really wanted to know, but that's fine. And before you get the idea that she gets bored with all this slow-moving human interaction, I should inform you that she can simply switch off that feeling like a light switch. It's one of the many interesting aspects of her mind that I'm still learning about.

Yuki and I got caught up on a few trivial matters, and Koizumi had something to eat. We then went to a local theater. Yuki and I then waited while Koizumi stood in the lobby, waiting for his girlfriend.

"You've met his girlfriend?" I wondered.

"No," she answered.

I added, "I'm having a hard time picturing what she's like."

As I expected, Yuki looked at me with an expression of what I would term mild annoyance. She usually reserves this look for when Haruhi forces her to play sports or anything involving physical exertion.

"I know I really shouldn't," I admitted, "but I do have this morbid curiosity."

"The question will soon be moot," she stated.

"Oh," I said. "Yeah, I forgot."

"Could you describe your encounter?" she then asked.

"Which one?" I asked. "You mean, with Haruhi?"

She nodded, so I thought about that for a few moments.

I then answered, "I got the impression that she was following someone's suggestion. Her father's, maybe? She just seemed really engrossed by the painting she was staring at, and I couldn't help but comment."

"Interesting."

"I really wish you had been there. We could have cleared the whole thing up in two minutes."

"What immediately preceded your decision to visit the museum?"

"I'd just gone to the electronics store. You remember? I went to go buy a video game. I told you."

"Yes."

I thought about all this. It seemed strange at the time that she was asking me. I still couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that I had entered a different time plane.

"You really didn't remember?" I asked.

She replied, "I have encountered roughly six lifetimes of data since that moment."

It then struck me, what it must mean to travel between time planes. It's really like sliding between completely different worlds, only Yuki has this weird ability to remember everything from one world to the next. Here I was, someone she hadn't seen in six lifetimes. And I get a little uptight when someone neglects me for six days.

"Please, continue," she said.

"Okay..." I said. "Well, this was just a bit earlier today to me. I walk out of the store, and I realized I'd bought the same game again. You know, the one I'd gotten last time?"

"Yes," she answered.

"I had forgotten not just which game I had been looking for, but I'd even forgotten that I'd already bought the game I now had another copy of."

"You have a bad habit of doing that."

"Yes. But this was no big deal. I mean, I just told myself I'd have to go return the thing, but then there was this massive confusion of traffic on the streets and this truck going the wrong way..."

"And then?"

"By the time I realized what was happening, I could only jump out of the way. Well, actually, that isn't quite how it happened. Now that I think about it, there was this guy. I can't remember his name. He was some American tourist, I think. Anyway, I'm just starting to realize that I need to move when this guy pushed me out of the way."

"Was he hurt?"

"No. I don't think so. He made some brief complaints about me being more careful and then just left."

"I see."

Yeah. I was just now beginning to recall that incident. It's funny, how the mind works. I had felt certain that I had jumped out of the way of that truck, but then that had seemed wrong, and I had realized that there was more to it than that. I could still sense the first version of events insisting on itself in my mind, but I became pretty certain that that was just a false memory when I talked it over with Yuki.

I then summarized, "I was rescued from the truck. I then noticed that my video game was gone. I just assumed it had been hit by the truck and had gone flying into a gutter or something."

"Perhaps," she agreed.

"I still have the book," I said, taking it out of my pocket. "You see?" I then returned it and added, "For all the good it does me, now."

Koizumi then returned to us and asked, "Shiori here yet?"

"I don't think so," I answered, though I really had no way of knowing.

"This movie was her idea, you know?" he said. "I wish she'd hurry it up."

I smiled and snidely remarked, "You're a real romantic, you know that?"

"And you don't consider this a date with Miss Nagato?" he asked.

"Should I?" I asked.

Once again, he had that expression like a deer in headlights, and it left me wondering what he'd been expecting.

- x -

Moving right along, we watched a movie and had some time to kill, so we went and visited the college. That is to say, Koizumi, Yuki and I went to the college. Shiori Akama had some domestic type things to do. Anyway, watching the movie had made me remember a few things from when I was young, and it made me wonder whether it wasn't also true in this time plane. I decided to go and find out.

"This college?" I asked him, as we were walking through the hallway. "So, we're going here again?"

He explained, "The organization felt that it was best if we didn't diverge too much from the previous iterations."

I complained, "You just got through telling me that you weren't comfortable with that subject."

"I'm not," he agreed. "Even so, we are required to possess a certain awareness. Even if we can't quite bring ourselves to admit what it might mean."

"So," I inquired, "you enter into a kind of alternate world? And you fight with these giant celestials?"

"That's right," he answered.

I had to confirm this because his descriptions were difficult to visualize, not just because of his odd choices in metaphors but also because he rarely used a tone of voice that seemed consonant with anything in the horrific descriptions of events he gave. He may as well have been describing strolling through the park to hear him describe his strange duties (that he had now retired from).

"Any idea why?" I wondered.

"Nope," he replied. "Not a clue. It just seems like we can't leave them alone, because who knows what might happen. Imagine if they could escape the bounds of that space. Do you think a normal person could survive an encounter with one?"

"Does the other me know about any of that?" I asked.

"He knows," Koizumi answered, "but he doesn't really accept it. You know?"

"Yeah, I think so," I said, thinking that that was really a good attitude to have. If even half of what Koizumi was saying was true, it spelled serious problems for the future, and I really didn't want to have to think about the implications.

"You don't seem too surprised by any of this," he observed.

"I am, actually," I said. "This is just one of those things that's only obvious in retrospect."

"How well I know what you mean," he agreed, and I could hear him smiling in the tone of that remark.

Having said that, we rounded a corner of the hallway and came to a door at the end of the hallway. I suddenly remembered this like I was being greeted by an old friend.

"Here we are," he said, going on inside the small theater.

I entered in behind him and remarked, "Seems smaller than I remember it."

"What are we looking for?" he asked.

"Give me a minute..." I said, turning to look through the seats. This was one of those unusual theaters with seats that were permanently fixed to the floor. I can't recall a setup like this in high school, but the high school I had gone to had been designed in a very ordinary, very modest way (for its purpose). Then again, I think North High did actually have a small screening room that was somewhat like this. I can't remember, though.

I eventually found the seat I was looking for and pointed it out, "Here it is."

"What?" Koizumi asked, looking at where I was gesturing. He then smiled and remarked, "Well, I'll be damned."

I explained, "My little sister and I came here about ten years ago. I don't remember what it was about, but we were bored. So, we played a little tic-tac-toe right here."

"And that incident is preserved here," he added.

This was just one of the many things my mother scolded me for back in those days. Ah, youth. The things you can get away with.

"I get the feeling no one notices things like this," I added.

"Seems strange to have a connection like this," he stated.

I explained, "We are talking about an incident from my youth. I mean, my sister was five at the time. I doubt she would even remember it."

"How old were you?" he asked.

I had to stop and think about that, and right as I came up with a number, Yuki interrupted, "He was eleven."

"Really?" I said, certain that I was actually twelve at the time.

"Okay," Koizumi said.

"Anyway," I continued, "what this means is that this me you know had roughly the same childhood as me. So..."

"Right," he said.

"How exactly did you meet this other me?" I asked.

He answered, "I don't think the other you is aware of this, but you have quite the reputation in our organization."

"Oh?"

"The senior members of the organization never really told me why, and the only thing I could discern from you was an unusual tendency to watch a lot of TV and engage in hobbies. It was really baffling, to be quite frank."

"So...?"

"We met over lunch. I had a nice chat with your friend, Kunikida. From then on, it was just a matter of practice."

"Like a bad habit?"

"Exactly. The thing is, we've never really had any serious disagreements. Until today, I'd never had a reason to be strongly averse to your presence."

This all sounded very familiar, so it left me a little baffled as to why he would have such an "aversion" to me.

"Averse?" I prompted.

"I don't mean to you," he supplied. "I mean, to the other you."

"What do you mean?" I asked, getting a little irritated at his dancing around the subject.

"Don't take this the wrong way," he warned, "but the other you is kind of..."

"What?" I asked.

He then admitted, "It really wouldn't be polite for me to honestly say."

Okay, let's try again. I frowned at him and crossed my arms in expectation of an apology, if not an explanation for this odd attitude.

He then hastily added, "Let's just say that I'm very impressed with your overall attitude and demeanor, and I find it hard to believe that you're the same person."

"For example?" I asked.

"For example:" he said, "The other you would never have had the patience to listen to all this. He mainly concerns himself with eating, drinking, fighting, and feeling sorry for himself."

"You sound like you know him pretty well," I remarked.

He then added, "We lived together up till today. You see, I got fed up and threw him out of the apartment, earlier today."

"I see," I said, not really comfortable with this, but starting to understand.

Koizumi then added, "I really don't have any idea where he went, and I'm frankly a little relieved. I mean, I'm not upset. I'm sorry."

"That's okay," I said, shrugging it off. "I wasn't living with you in my time."

"Where were you living?" he asked.

"With Yuki, of course," I smoothly answered.

I started to recognize that this look he was giving me was that of a man whose one and only expectation from women is that they are romantic objects. I've always pegged Koizumi as a bit of a chauvinist pig, but this surprise of his made it seem to me that he expected me to be even more so.

"It wasn't like that," I answered his look, a little exasperated to have to confront it again.

"Okay," he said, now sounding like he was starting to accept that I could be a kind and considerate person.

I explained, "We just became friends in high school. You know?"

"I see," he said.

- x -

After confirming my odd connection to the past, I was now more at ease. There was at least one thing that didn't change. Two, if you count Yuki's attitude toward me. Once we bid Koizumi good night, Yuki invited me to stay at her place, at least until I could find a place of my own (which was roughly the same deal we had had in my world). She didn't neglect to mention how I had come to depend on her, though it didn't seem to me like she was complaining. I asked her whether it was a problem, but she just ignored the question.

I had the uncomfortable suspicion that Yuki was a bit of a control freak. She seemed to like the idea of me depending on her, and it seemed to me that she always avoided letting me return favors. Of course, I know she isn't a control freak, since she always defers to me on any serious matter, always listening to even my most crazy rantings like they were the words of a divine. It's this kind of contradiction in her personality that convinces me that she actually does have some kind of personality. It's tempting to think of her as an android, though. I have to fight the urge, but at least I know I can.

One thing that helped in that effort was something I noticed right away, the moment I entered her apartment. Aside from the bits of garish decor here and there (which I had forgotten about), I noticed Ryoko Asakura. Ryoko Asakura is about as human an alien as I think I've ever met. She's so full of personality that she makes me seem like an alien android in comparison to her. Naturally, she was at the center of a group of people, some of whom I recognized. There was Emiri Kimidori and several other girls, plus I eventually noticed Kunikida (my old friend from middle school) looking inconspicuous in spite of his talent for apt observations.

"Hey!" Ryoko called out to me. "They're here!"

I sheepishly smiled and entered the living room, saying, "Sorry to intrude. Didn't know Yuki was having a party."

"This isn't just some party," Ryoko assured me, immediately clasping onto my arm. "We're all here to meet you."

"Really?" I asked, being gently pulled into a crowd of faces. I couldn't help thinking that these guys were way too easy to impress, but then I didn't exactly mind all the attention.

"Everyone but me," Kunikida chimed in. "I'm just basking in the weirdness."

"Who invited you?" I asked him, not entirely serious.

I heard some laughter at that, and I noticed this one charming girl approach me. She seemed very strange, and she didn't fail to disappoint that expectation.

"Hi," she said. "My name is Fumi. Could I have your autograph?"

"My what?" I asked, hardly daring to believe she had asked what she had just asked.

She held out a small pad of paper and added, "Here you go. Oh, and I'm from the future, if that helps."

"I'll try not to hold it against you," I said, reaching into one of my many pockets to rubber stamp her pad.

"Oh, wow," she responded. "People really did use those things, once upon a time."

"I know," Ryoko remarked somewhat disapprovingly. "Doesn't it ruin the whole personal touch?"

"I can sign by hand if you'd prefer," I hastened to add.

"No!" Fumi objected. "That's okay. Actually, I was hoping..."

Kunikida then remarked, "Even people who like you in the future are weird."

"That's enough from you," I told him.

"I need to get going, anyway," he said. "I'll see you later."

"Right," I said as he left. I then puzzled for a moment and asked, "So, why would anyone want to meet with me?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Ryoko asked, her voice full of passion. "You're the infamous time traveler."

Miss Kimidori added, "You're like a living monument to a time long since vanished. The sole survivor of that dimension."

"I... see," I said, realizing how alone I was.

Ryoko started laughing and then added, "You should be happy. We're all here to cheer you on. Oh, and about that thing with Miss Asahina. You shouldn't go out of your way to hide it. Everybody here knows she rejected you."

"Ouch," I said, not quite able to contain it.

"What did I tell you?" Ryoko asked Kimidori.

"It was the most likely explanation," she admitted.

"So, relax and unwind," Ryoko commanded.

I then asked Yuki, "How did all this...?"

"When you spoke with Suzumiya," she answered, "it triggered an avalanche of interest among my peers. If this is a nuisance, I can dismiss them."

"Oh, okay," I said. "Thanks, but I think I can endure it. The question is, am I intruding?"

I really wanted an answer to that, but Yuki was still giving that question the silent treatment.

"I mean," I added, "I really feel like an intruder, here. I'm from another time plane, for heaven's sake."

"I'm from another time plane, too," Fumi informed me. "If it makes you feel better."

"Which one?" I asked.

She didn't have an answer for that, but I guess it would seem strange to be aware of where you are in the temporal grand scheme of things, like I had just become.

"She's from number seven," Ryoko answered, "so she's really going to hate going back home."

Yuki then stated, "The restrictions were recently lightened, so what you're suggesting isn't a problem."

"Oh?" Fumi said, looking oddly relieved.

"Look around, Kyon," Ryoko told me. "We're all intruders, here. Nagato, Kimidori, and I were created by an alien entity. The rest of us are time travelers."

I should point out that "Kyon" is not my name. It's just the goofy nickname I've become used to, thanks to Haruhi Suzumiya. And that fact doesn't change, even in some other world, apparently. Hey, hold on sec.

"Kimidori is an alien?" I asked.

"Oh, oops," Ryoko softly stated. "Was that supposed to be a secret?"

"Never mind," I said, shaking my head in disgust. "After today, nothing would surprise me."

"Funny you should say that," Ryoko brightly added.

"Why?" I asked, starting to get bad feeling about this.

She answered, "Tonight's guest of honor is arriving any minute. I think she'll surprise you."

"Who is it?" I asked, immediately hoping it wouldn't be Miss Asahina.

"If I told you," Ryoko gently chided, "it wouldn't be a surprise."

"I can't wait," I said, suddenly realizing that it most likely wasn't Asahina.

"Before that happens," Ryoko said, "I'd like to ask you something."

"What is it?" I prompted.

"What did you think of Shiori?" she asked.

"I..." I started, unable to finish.

"What?" she asked.

"I promised Koizumi I'd keep it to myself," I said. This was true, but I didn't really feel obligated. I just didn't feel comfortable talking about it.

"Sheesh," she complained. "Spoil sport."


	42. You Make Me Real

- Chapter 2: You Make Me Real

That night's guest of honor turned out to be a girl I had some trouble recognizing until I tried picturing Miss Tsuruya with short hair. She had a few things to say to me, most of them quite rude, and I think Ryoko Asakura actually spent more time laughing than Tsuruya (which was a real twist for me). Miss Tsuruya is normally a very pleasant, very charming girl (with hair down to her knees), so this was really way more than I could handle. You can imagine why when you realize why she might have cut her hair combined with the fact that she had had nothing good to say to me, though I did eventually convince her that she was mistaken about me. It speaks well of her that I could do that, too. I won't embarrass her by going into too much detail, but that encounter was definitely by far the most traumatic one I had that whole day, including the one that nearly killed me.

With that out of the way, I resolved to try fitting in with this new world. It would take some work, but I had a conversation with Yuki, and she had already put together a plausible story for me to use. It was very much like her to do that, but it still surprised me. This is what she does. It makes me feel awkward and a little exhausted to be so indebted to her, especially since she refuses to even acknowledge the debt. Just once, I'd really like to square things. I'm not sure how, but I'll probably think of something.

I spent that morning slowing down and really taking a good look around me. I hadn't really stopped and enjoyed where I was and where I was going. At breakfast, I took a moment to appreciate my food, taking a good look around in Yuki's kitchen. It surprised me a little to find so many sweets in her refrigerator, and I found myself wondering if I really wasn't intruding when I noticed a stack of sleazy romance novels in a fairly unobtrusive corner of the kitchen. It seemed a little odd that she would hide anything, but then I hadn't really ever gone looking for anything before.

The rest of her apartment bespoke her various hobbies: video games (many of the same ones I had had before), some half-built computers here and there (lying amongst computer parts), her stack of CDs and MDs (most of which were very recognizable pop stars), a wall filled with awards given at various arts and craft competitions, and one small statue of a clown. The clown really caught my eye, and it suddenly seemed to me like a harbinger of strange tidings. I wasn't sure why, but I began to think that there was something perverse and wrong about it, though I also found myself admiring it at the same time.

When I left, the world outside seemed to remain much the same. The only one who had really changed was me. And it might as well have been no change at all, as far as the world was concerned. There were still aliens and time travelers for Haruhi to toy with, though she undoubtedly had no idea about them in this world. To top that off, there were espers to clean up after her psychic rampages. In many ways, it was a much more ideal world for her. It was a world that had come out of a vast study of Haruhi to find a more pleasing way to help her find meaning. Even so, this was just the way the world was in my time. From what I could see of the signs and the popular media around me, it was still a world that cared for little other than flirting, beauty, and mindless hobbies. In a weird way, it really disgusted me, though I had no idea why. It just seemed more like a theme park than the way I felt reality should be.

Even so, it was my world. I resolved to drink it all in and appreciate it. With that in mind, I eventually found myself wandering around the college campus. I had taken all this for granted, as well. It had seemed like just a place to go to hear lectures or to study, but now it seemed like its own little world, as well. I found myself in a classroom, just as if I were getting ready for class. It seemed very familiar, though Koizumi being here was a little different.

"Oh, hello," he said, seeing me. "What's up?"

"Just getting a good look," I replied.

"Sentimental already?" he guessed, and I could hardly disagree.

"It probably will be for the last time," I admitted.

"Why is that?" he asked.

"I need to get used to the working life," I answered. "It's all part of Yuki's plan."

"You know," he remarked, "I never see the other you. He only ever shows up for tests."

"He's a real delinquent?" I asked.

"I don't know that I'd go that far," he answered. "I just don't think it would be any big deal. I mean, people would just assume you're him."

"Yeah, that's the problem," I stated. "Isn't it?"

"How do you figure?"

"What happens if we're seen together? And what if he spots me?"

"Right."

"It's not worth it. I'm just going to have to assume a new identity. If for no other reason than I don't want to get arrested and jailed for identity theft."

Not that that would happen, but no need to tempt fate. I think just about everything else I had been dreading had happened, so it was just better to be safe than sorry.

"What is your new identity?" Koizumi then asked.

"It's..." I thought for a moment, then took out my wallet and showed him my new identity.

"'Tsuyoshi Tanase?'" he said, immediately finding my new name. "Am I reading that right?"

"Sounds fake, doesn't it?" I commented

"Did Miss Nagato come up with this?" he guessed.

"Oh yeah," I replied. "What do you think?"

"Looks pretty real to me," he said, taking another good look at it.

"I have to admit, it does look authentic enough."

"And it isn't that far from your real name."

I put my wallet away and muttered, "Not that anyone ever bothers to use my real name."

"Huh?" he said. "Oh, you mean in your time."

"You've never heard my nickname?" I asked.

"Should I have?" he asked.

I sighed and informed him, "I'm going to regret this, but in my time, everyone keeps calling me 'Kyon.' It's not very dignified..."

"It's easier to remember than 'Tsuyoshi Tanase,'" he said.

- x -

I had the urge to track down my other self, but this would prove to be impossible in my current state of mind. Between me slowly realizing that my other self was a jerk and beginning to dread the kind of confrontation we might have, I found myself avoiding the issue. And really, when do people ever talk about themselves? They just know, right? Or, like in Koizumi's case, he avoids the issue because it would be rude. I can't imagine the kind of conversation I might have with someone like, say, Taniguchi. Speak of the devil, just as I began to leave the campus, who do I run into?

"Hey man, wait up," he said, spotting me before I could escape.

"Oh, hey," I said, once it was clear that he wasn't letting me escape. "Ain't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, yeah," he said. "You got anything for me?"

"You expecting something?" I asked, thinking this was rather abrupt.

"Sure," he answered. "I found you all the hottest shots. I swear. No duds, this time."

"Hold on," I commanded. "Just stop right there."

"No, no, no," he insisted. "This isn't how it works, okay? You've gotta trust me."

"Since when did I start trusting you?" I said, giving him my best disapproving glare.

"Don't be like that..." he said, casually deflecting my glare like it was nothing.

"You know what?" I offered. "I'll pay you to keep to yourself. How about that?"

He laughed and complained, "Now, you're making me sound like a criminal. Come on."

I took out a few bills and handed them to him. Who needs money, anyway?

"That it?" he said. "Oh, well. I guess I can scrape by till next month. Anyway..."

He then handed me a small stack of photos. It was a relief that he wasn't just using some euphemism for drugs. In retrospect, I was rather lucky to not run into my drug dealer.

"Here you go," he said. "Nice doing business with you."

I immediately shoved the photos into my pocket and fervently prayed they wouldn't get me into trouble. I'm actually pretty good at smuggling (thanks to Haruhi using me to smuggle some ill-gotten booty from time to time), so I didn't really have anything to worry about. Just be casual and think about other things...

- x -

I was shortly joined in my sidewalk excursion by Yuki. She doubtlessly knew about my ongoing crusade against hunger, public apathy, the plight of the jobless. It helped me take my mind off the fact that I would likely become one of these poor wretches someday, and I often had long conversations with people who could barely stand to speak with anyone. Their experiences often made my pathetic attempts at cynicism look silly in comparison.

Before long, Yuki began a conversation with me about what to do in case of this or that, and how and to whom I would go for help if certain things happened. She had her own grapevine, and it was surprising to see how various people fit into it. For example, if I found myself being confronted by law enforcement, my best bet was to rely on Ryoko.

I then asked, "I tell them I'm living at your address, and that the place belongs to Ryoko Asakura?"

"Yes," she answered.

I guessed, "And that's the signal for you to give them this cover story?"

"That triggers her involvement," Yuki explained. "We will assume it's a data emergency, which is her specialty."

"I've got it," I said. "What if I witness a bank robbery and the local press wants an interview?"

"You tell them the truth," she answered, "as much as possible."

I then pointed out, "Shouldn't I at least look different, so people don't think we're twins? In case I'm seen with the other me, that is."

"You have a point," she admitted.

I then thought for a moment and added, "I could use a hair cut, actually."

"This isn't a game," she warned.

"I know," I said. "No reason we can't have a little fun with it."

Yuki must have been thinking that I was tempting fate deliberately, and insinuating that I shouldn't do anything that might get me discovered by my other self was bordering on reading my thoughts. Then again, after six lifetimes, maybe she just had a much better profile on my tendencies. Yes, I do sometimes like to toy with people. I had been thinking about it, but I'm much more curious than I am capricious, so I think she was a bit off the mark. I don't think she had realized how much I value my appearance. And speaking of appearance...

I added, "I'm going to need some new clothes, too."

- x -

We went to a store in town, and I have to admit that I liked the ambiance, though nothing was really working for me until I specifically had Yuki pick something out for me. I'm not normally this picky, but I was in a weird mood. It might have had something to do with me practically being a stranger in this world, but I was also getting a little tired of using that excuse on myself.

I was trying out what seemed like it was a really close fit, and I felt pretty good about it. I was just thinking how bizarre it would be if Haruhi showed up, and of course that was when Haruhi showed up, with Koizumi not too far away.

"I don't like that place," she complained. "The music is too loud."

"Too loud?" he asked. "You care about the music when you're eating?"

She then added, "Didn't you see it on the news the other day? Noisy music when you're eating makes you fat."

"I've never heard that..." he softly pointed out, looking around right in my direction. "Oh, hey!" he said, seeing me.

Okay, this is like a scene in a bad movie, here. I just had to wonder, but then I realized that this was just Haruhi's special abilities at work again. Something was making her curious, so she wouldn't be able to avoid finding me.

"Looking snazzy over there," Koizumi added.

"You know him?" Haruhi asked.

"Sorry about this," he told her. "I've known this guy since high school."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" she complained, and I was a little surprised to find myself wondering about that.

"Well," he answered, "I transferred to that other school. You remember?"

Meaning, he didn't want to tell her. I could see from the frown on her face that this is exactly what she was thinking, too.

"No need to get upset," he softly chided her.

"He's right, actually," she told me. "You're looking snazzy in that."

"Okay," I said. "Thanks, I guess."

"'I guess,' he says," Koizumi cheerfully commented.

"Sorry about yesterday," I added. "A lot of things all happened at once and I was a little confused."

"That explains it," she said.

At that point, I saw Yuki approaching. She had spent about half an hour standing around looking bored while I tried on clothes, so I had just assumed that she was hovering. She had vanished for the past couple minutes, so I can only surmise that she was momentarily busy with other things.

Haruhi smoothly added, "I was seriously thinking about calling the cops, you know? I wasn't kidding about that."

"I'm glad you didn't," I said.

"So, you know Yuki?" she then asked.

"We've spoken," I said, getting ready to field something Yuki was no doubt going to ask me.

"Is this what you're getting?" Yuki asked.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"It fits," she answered.

As she turned to face Haruhi, I couldn't help but smile at that response. With so many options at her disposal, Yuki elects for the simplest one possible. I reflexively put my hands on her shoulders and said to Haruhi, "This is what I like about Yuki. Direct and straight to the point."

"You seem like old friends," Koizumi said with a bit of that surprise on his face.

"We've only been living together for a couple years," I said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Closer to three," Yuki corrected.

"That long?" I asked. "Sheesh."

"The way Yuki reacted," Haruhi remarked, "I'd say she likes that outfit."

"Well," I said, "it was nice to speak to you again."

"See you later," she said, turning to leave.

"We'll have to get caught up, some time," Koizumi added.

Koizumi really kept me a secret from her? I know I didn't have a good reason to expect collateral social status, but the subject had to come up at least once or twice. Or maybe Haruhi just never liked him bringing up the subject. Now that I thought about it, Haruhi does tend to be rather antisocial, so it wasn't outside the realm of possibility. The thing that was bugging me was how Yuki had reacted.

"What was that about?" I asked her.

She turned to me and asked, "Hmm?"

"'It fits?'" I asked. "What was that? A joke?"

"Is it incorrect?" she asked.

"Well, no," I admitted. "It does fit just fine, but what do you think of how it looks?"

"Am I supposed to have a reaction?" she asked.

I sighed, to think that she had picked it out in the first place. Why did she do that if she didn't have a reaction? "I think it looks good," I softly remarked. "Let's go with this one."

- x -

So, I had my new outfit. A nice shirt that nevertheless would not look out of place at a casual function. A decent pair of pants. Not overly one color or another, and none of the primaries. Not too bright or too dark, but just about perfect. Well, I had to admit, it was a nice change. I can't do gaudy the way Yuki can. Something about her just makes that work, but I can't.

When we returned to her apartment, I decided to keep my new outfit on for a while, just to see if it really worked out okay. You sometimes have a different aspect on things in a different setting. Especially with clothes.

Yuki was definitely staring more, and we soon had a conversation about some of those hypothetical situations we'd gone over earlier. I explained how I had never really had all the problems with the police that Haruhi did. That is to say, Haruhi could never trust an authority figure the way that I could. Her problem was that it apparently never occurred to her that it was just a job that people do. Once you realize that, you can make your life a lot easier by being helpful in the right way. You think seriously about how they view a particular situation, and you start to realize a lot of things that could turn out to be helpful, especially if you happen to get into a conversation with an actual detective (and not just some beat cop).

"I've been lectured by the cops before," I said. "It's no big deal. I can usually just talk my way out of it."

"City police tend to take a different approach," she remarked.

"I know," I said. "Even so..."

I have had a few of those type of conversations, too. You know? The kind where they have no intention of letting you go until you've explained a lot more than you really want to. This is the price for me knowing Miss Tsuruya as well as I do (though not nearly as well as the other me, I can assure you).

"I would prefer not risking it," Yuki added.

"What do you prefer?" I wondered. "You like guys with snazzy outfits?"

"What is this?" she asked, taking out that stack of photos I had forgotten about from my old pants pockets.

"Oh, that?" I said. "Taniguchi bumped into me, earlier. I assume he thought I was the other me."

"Is that what this is?" she asked.

"Nice to see some things don't change," I added, shaking my head in disgust.

"You mind...?" she started to ask.

"Go right ahead," I answered. "You know I don't care about that sort of thing. The other me will just have to imagine..."

"What did you think of Miss Akama?" she then asked.

"Shiori?" I answered. "She seemed strangely familiar."

"Have you met Itsuki Koizumi's mother?"

"Yes. I was just starting to think..."

"What?"

I found myself staring, and I suddenly realized why.

"Have you quit smoking?" I asked her.

"I have refrained from that habit," she responded.

"Oh jeez," I said. "Why am I just now noticing?" I silently berated myself and patted her on the shoulder, saying, "Well, good for you. I'm behind you one-hundred percent."

"Thanks," she added.

- x -

I was just starting to get used to my new outfit when I got a call on my new phone from Koizumi. It seemed like a good time for it, so I paid him a visit. I was curious to see if I could find signs of my other self having lived there, but it looked as though Koizumi had scoured the place clean before that could happen.

I found him watching TV, and I joined him, though I did ask about it. It seemed very strange to think of him as a TV junkie.

"I just catch the news," he answered. "I'm not a TV junkie."

"Neither am I," I said.

"It's all your fault, too," he complained. "I mean, the other you."

"I'm getting a little sick of hearing that," I muttered.

"Sorry," he said, "but he just got me in the habit of watching a lot of TV. It's a hard habit to break."

"You think that's hard," I said, "you should try quitting smoking."

"Did you smoke?" he asked.

"No," I answered. "I'm talking about Yuki."

"Oh..." he said, shaking his head in bewilderment. "You know an awful lot about her. You sure you aren't dating?"

"I'm sure," I said, and I had this weird urge to move slowly away from him for suggesting it. Now seemed like a good time to return to the subject we had briefly discussed on the phone: that of me looking for a job. It was, after all, part of the Yuki plan for me.

Right on cue, Koizumi informed me, "I'd love to find you something. Oh, what am I saying? I'm sure I know someone who needs to hire someone."

"Thanks," I said.

"It's a pleasure," he assured me. "Honestly, I wish you had come to me sooner. The boss wanted to know if I had some reliable family just today. Sheesh. Figures you would show up asking me for work the moment I don't need someone."

"The story of my life," I said, sadly reflecting on my many failed attempts to land a job of my own.

"Hey..." he then added. "Cheer up. I'm sure there's lots of opportunities out there. And if not, you can rely on me. I'll find something."

"Thanks," I said again, just in case he didn't hear me the first time.

- x -

Call me cynical, but I like to have my bases covered. I didn't really trust Koizumi to find me a job, in spite of his assurances to the contrary. It wasn't so much that I didn't find him trustworthy as much as I just knew it wouldn't pan out. Experience is a harsh mistress, and this desperation of mine is the result. Consequently, I found myself looking around in a bookstore for some recent help wanted publications. Those had always seemed like good avenues for Haruhi, and she had certainly kept me busy with those, so I figured I should give one a try.

That said, my desperation when job hunting is really more in the nature of a reflex. I was actually pretty upbeat right about then. I had a nice place to live, and there was no pressure on me, whatsoever. I was probably better off in that situation than most people (who are usually contending with lots of debts and responsibilities). In fact, I was starting to feel downright cheerful. I should have realized that that's always a bad sign.

I went to the counter to ask the clerk for some help. "You have any of the recent help wanted books?" I asked.

"I think so," the girl behind the counter softly answered.

I was about to thank her, but then I recognized her voice. It was the unmistakeably angelic voice of Mikuru Asahina. "Wait a second," I said, taking a good look at her. "Miss Asahina?"

"Oh jeez," she complained, looking down at the floor. "This is really embarrassing."

"How on Earth?" I asked, about to plunge into a million questions.

"It's a long story," she answered. "Could we talk a little later?"

"Sure," I replied. "I'll see you after work at that coffee shop around the corner."

"Thanks," she said.

- x -

I became flustered all over again, while I waited at the coffee shop. Mikuru Asahina! What a terrible and unlikely encounter! Yeah, right.

No, this is exactly like Haruhi. She somehow arranges this kind of thing to happen to me. It's always the worst possible person at the worst possible place at the worst possible time. Just as I might be about to lift myself over that ledge of confidence, I find myself plunging off again.

In case you were wondering why I'm so flustered, let me fill you in. Picture the nicest, most beautiful, most delicate and vulnerable girl you can. Then imagine that she just so happens to be conveniently near you every day for a year or two. Now imagine that you were completely honest with her and told her exactly what you thought of her. Now imagine this girl flatly refused you because, "It wouldn't be right." Can you imagine what it would be like to speak to her again?

So, on top of everything else, I was reliving all that again. To make matters worse, I don't think this was the same Asahina. I got the distinct impression that she knew about my confession, but she wasn't the same person. Talk about awkward.

Nevertheless, she did eventually appear at the coffee shop, no doubt spurred on by curiosity. I think I stayed because I wanted to see just how deep I could dig myself down in a well of awkwardness.

"Oh, hey!" she said, smiling and coming over to my table.

Yep. Definitely not the Mikuru Asahina I knew. I don't think she would have been this cheerful at seeing me.

"Thanks for coming," I greeted her. "Please, have a seat."

"Thanks," she said, sitting across from me.

She then immediately confided, "I wasn't sure whether I should risk coming to this era at all, but I couldn't help myself."

"You like living in the past?" I asked.

"I have a confession to make," she softly stated. "I like making money."

"You don't have money in the future?" I then asked.

"We do," she answered, "but it isn't the same thing. Plus, I feel like I've really earned it, working in this era."

"Plus," I guessed, "all this old money helps other time travelers, right?"

"That's classified," she said with a big smile on her face.

"How I missed hearing that," I remarked.

She admitted, "I've been wanting to say that for a long time."

"So..." I asked, just to make it official. "You're not the Asahina I knew?"

"No," she agreed. "I'm from the fourth time plane. The me you knew was from the second time plane."

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "Didn't that whole dimension get blown away?" Plus, I recalled Miss Kimidori describing me as the "sole survivor" (though maybe she hadn't really meant that literally).

"Yeah," she sadly answered, "that's why I'm here and not back in the future. There's really no home for me to return to."

"I know what you mean," I said, immediately sympathetic.

She added, "That problem all started because of us, though. Let's not cause that to happen again."

"Really?" I asked, terrified for a moment that it was because of that awkward confession.

"Don't worry," she said, answering my look. "I'll do my best to make sure that doesn't happen again."

I then gently asked, "You're not talking about something sordid, are you?"

She sighed and answered, "The short version is: I screwed up."

"How?" I asked.

She replied, "I was supposed to take you three years into the past, but I accidentally went back nine years. Correcting that caused something really weird to happen. I'm not even sure how to describe it. It was just a huge mess. Thankfully, Miss Nagato knew how to fix the time quake that occurred in the seventh time plane."

"Jeez," I said, a little overwhelmed at all that.

"So, here I am," she said.

"And you know about..." I started to ask.

"Yeah," she answered. "I had a long conversation with some version of myself who knew everything. Well, it seemed like she knew everything about you. I just had to see for myself, though."

"This is so weird," I remarked.

"You're telling me?" she said. "I didn't sign on for this, but then you can't exactly go backwards."

"Even a time traveler?" I asked, a little surprised at that concept.

"The thing is," she explained, "the previous time planes have already happened, so that just leaves future time planes. If you go too far, though, you can't ever go back. At least, not to the reality you knew."

"Funny," I said, "because I just spoke to a girl who came from a previous time plane. She seemed a bit worried about getting back."

"Who? Fumi?"

"Yeah."

"I should have known she would approach you. She's always collecting autographs."

- x -

Okay, so that wasn't as bad as I was dreading. And maybe I am a little grateful to Haruhi for dragging me through that. Still, I wasn't about to tell her to her face, even though I soon found myself in a conversation with her.

I went to a music store that evening. This was all part of my quest to check out whether any of the local shops needed help. These weren't exactly those smaller ones that felt threatened by some of the bigger market warehouses, but they did seem like they were feeling a bit of a pinch. I was considering whether to even ask for a job here when I noticed Haruhi looking through some of the racks.

"There you are," she said. "I was looking for you."

"Oh, hey," I said, not too sure whether I really wanted another conversation.

She then complained, "I've haven't been able to calm down since I ran into you at the museum. It's really irritating."

I then asked her something that had been in the back of my mind for most of the day, "You aren't planning on stealing that painting, are you?"

"What?" she said, looking genuinely surprised. "No, of course not. Why would you ask me that?"

"It's nothing," I answered. "Never mind."

"I'm not a thief, okay," she protested. "I'm an artist. If I steal anything, it's ideas. I'm just a little short on that, right now."

"An artist?" I asked. "What? You're a painter?"

"I'm a writer," she answered.

"Really?" I said, baffled and amazed that she would even consider doing that.

"Yes, really," she answered very firmly. "Why does everybody react like that?"

"You have a particular vein you like to dig around in?" I asked.

"You mean a favorite genre?" she answered. "I don't think I've settled down to any one in particular. I mean, I like science fiction, but..."

"You want to write a romance?" I asked, just to see how she would react.

"Romance?" she said. "Are you kidding?"

"What was I thinking?" I said. I had been hoping she would just continue that trend of being the opposite of what I was expecting her to be.

"No way," she added, emphatically. "There's really only one type of story, you know? Adventure! Your story has to have some sustained action, or really... What's the point?"

"So," I asked, "why exactly were you looking for me?"

"I need some ideas," she answered, "and I'm running into a lot of blocks, lately. Help me out, would you?"

I sighed and said, "All right, I'll help you out, but this isn't the right atmosphere. I can't really concentrate."

"So, why did you come here?" she asked.

Yeah, no. I'm not about to tell any variation of Haruhi that I'm looking for a job. That would be a mistake. Even this one would probably find me some horrible, thankless job that I'd be disgusted with myself for having done.

- x -

I found myself walking with Haruhi down a sidewalk while she continued to probe my background, trying to get a handle on what my situation was. I patiently explained to her that I was living with Yuki Nagato, and that she was helping me get my life together. It was all very straight forward.

"So, you like her," Haruhi insisted.

"I didn't say that," I objected. "You're twisting what I said, as usual."

"As usual?" she asked.

"Sorry," I said. "I'm used to living an absolutely different kind of life. Things just got really weird for me, yesterday."

"They did?" she asked.

"I was almost killed," I replied, "okay?"

"Yeah, that's it!" she said, grinning madly. "How exactly did this happen?"

I sighed and complained, "Can't you sympathize with me? I nearly get crushed by a truck, and your reaction is that I had a fun little adventure. It wasn't fun. It was very brief and very terrifying. That's all."

"Yeah?" she asked. "And?"

I grimly concluded, "I'm obviously talking to the wrong person. My life isn't some kind of idea generator that you can use for your aspiring literary career. Sometimes, things are just ugly and wrong and you can't believe they're happening. That's all."

"Now, that's what I'm talking about!" she added, very approvingly. "So, then... What happened?"

I answered, "After I encountered you at the museum, which was traumatic enough in itself, I then had an odd though pleasant conversation with Koizumi."

"You've really known him since high school?" she asked. "And there's nothing going on between you two?"

"What exactly do you...?" I started to ask, but then interrupted myself, "Wait! Don't answer that. No, I'm not involved with anyone. Sheesh. Is that really so hard to believe?"

"It's not," she said, very agreeably.

"Ouch."

"So, you like the subject of romance?"

"I love romance. That's one of my favorite genres."

"You want to help me research?"

Say what?

"You know what I mean," she added.

"I think I do," I said, grateful for that save at the last moment. "You know Koizumi, huh?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"You ever date him?" I asked.

Her silence may as well have been a shout to the heavens.

"I'll take that as a yes," I softly remarked.

"Let's pretend that didn't happen," she said.

"Okay."

"I mean, I like the guy, but he doesn't have a romantic bone in his body."

- x -

So, I was now conversing with everyone in a fairly comfortable, if not entirely casual way. It was nice, but it seemed like there was something missing. I couldn't help but feel like there was one more person I needed to encounter, as Haruhi bid me good night. Nevertheless, I shrugged off the feeling and continued my quest of examining the various shops that were still open.

I came to a video game arcade and began considering playing a game when I was thoroughly unsurprised to see some guy who looked a lot like that guy I see every day in the mirror.

It was very odd. I mean, do I really look like that? I couldn't get over how weird it was, but then he saw me and the effect was double (at least).

"You look familiar," he said. "Have we met?"

"I'm pretty sure we have," I answered, "but not in the rational sense."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

"What I mean is that you're me," I answered. "Or rather, I'm you. Or rather, I'm you as you were meant to be, six lifetimes ago."

He laughed and predictably said, "That's funny. You should be a writer."

"Really?" I said, a little disappointed at his lack of wit.

"Now, be honest," he said. "Who the hell are you, and why are you wearing my face?"

"Why are you smoking?" I said right back. "Don't you know cigarettes are bad for your health?"

He looked a little dumbfounded at that, and I found myself thinking that this person wasn't as bad as he was made out to be. Hell, he wasn't as rotten and despicable a person as even me.

"Maybe we should go outside," I suggested.

"Maybe..." he agreed.

We went outside, and he casually disposed of his cigarette. It was fairly obvious that it was an old habit for him.

"Now, you tell me," I said. "What did you do to Koizumi to get him so pissed off that he threw you out?"

"You don't know?" he asked.

"No," I said.

"I told him his hairline was receding," he answered, smiling for a brief moment.

"And that's it?" I asked.

"Have a seat," he said, gesturing at a nearby table and some chairs.

"Okay," I said, taking a seat.

He took out another cigarette and lit it, shaking his head while complaining, "This is my imagination, right? I've done a few too many weird drugs, I guess."

"How I wish this were a fantasy," I said. "No, it's all too real."

"So," he said, "Koizumi was on the right track when he started calling that Haruhi girl a god."

"He told you about Haruhi?" I asked, amazed at this revelation.

"Briefly," he answered. "I wasn't really listening. I assumed he was nuts. I guess I was wrong."

"Let's not jump to conclusions," I told him, not about to give Haruhi any credit she didn't very much deserve. That was just too disturbing to even consider.

"Well," he asked, gesturing expansively, "how do you explain this?"

"You ever hear the name 'Mikuru Asahina?'" I asked him.

"Should I have?" he asked.

"Well, then," I answered. "First of all, you're quite fortunate to have never encountered her."

"Why?" he asked. "Is she ugly?"

"No," I replied. "Actually, she's very attractive."

"Oh, I see," he said.

"What?"

"You asked her out, and she turned you down?"

Bam. Like getting hit in the face. For a moment, I couldn't believe that such a simple statement could have such a strong effect on me. It still hurt, though.

He then added, "I can just sense things like that. Don't take it personally."


	43. People Are Strange

- Chapter 3: People Are Strange

I soon returned to Yuki's apartment, and I might have thought that I was done with surprising encounters had my other self not insisted on making hasty assumptions about this mysterious person I was living with. He seemed to be under the impression that Yuki was taking advantage of my good nature and making a fool of me, but he couldn't have been more wrong. If anything, the situation was really more the other way around. We had a brief dispute over whether he should visit me or I should visit him, but I handily prevailed in that. He then asked about my alternate identity, which I gratefully gave over to him. I really didn't want anything to do with it.

I'm an overly cautious person. I'm honest to a fault, and I don't really consider that to be a good thing. If anything, you're much better off to not have anything to do with me if you need me to be dishonest. This is something Haruhi has been discovering the hard way, but she has always been stubborn about trying to break me of that. I found it a little odd that Yuki thought I could pretend to be a different person, but then she's always been a little dense. I could overlook it in Yuki's case, but Haruhi is way too dangerous to be that ignorant. Whenever I could, I've always dealt with Haruhi in a strict but fair manner in the hope that she would see the value in this approach to things. I know. I'm trying to make a cow jump over the moon, but what else can I do?

The thing the other me doesn't understand is how Yuki doesn't really suffer from weird human foibles, because (let's face it) she isn't human. She doesn't stress out over her looks, she doesn't care what other people think, and I've never seen her even wince in pain. I don't think she can even comprehend the concept. Why in the world would she have some need to mislead me? It just boggles the mind that people can suggest it, but then the other me really is used to a totally different kind of world than me. To him, it seems like the world is all about ego and "letting yourself go" (whatever that's supposed to mean).

If the above sounds a little naive, then so be it. I would prefer to be surprised every day of my life than to be willfully ignorant because of some slight preconception. This may explain why I seem to be surprised every day by one thing or another, and that's fine, too. You try explaining to your inscrutable other self why you've been living with an alien android for the past two (or maybe three) years. See how well you handle it.

Anyway, when we entered the apartment, we found Ryoko Asakura lounging on Yuki's sofa. That was a bit of pleasant surprise for both of us. Ryoko is a very nice girl (even if she does go a little overboard at times), and she is very easy on the eyes.

"Hey there," I said. "Where's Yuki?"

"She stepped out," Ryoko replied. "Oh, hello. Who's your friend?"

"You really have to ask?" I muttered.

"Of course, I do," she insisted, standing up to present herself. "It's the polite thing to do when you meet someone for the first time."

"Hello," he said. "I'm Tsuyoshi Tanase."

"Ryoko Asakura," she said. "Pleased to meet you."

"May I add," he continued, "that you are the most beautiful girl I've ever met?"

"Oh, Kyon," she cheerfully complained. "Your friend's quite a charmer. And what an unusual name, too."

"Yeah..." he smoothly added. "That was my idea. I think I'm ready for a little change of pace."

I shook my head in disgust, and when I glanced at my other self, he was (as I predicted) starting to laugh.

"'Kyon?'" he asked me, having trouble holding it in.

"That's right," I suggested darkly. "Laugh it up."

"Oh my freaking god!" he interjected.

I added, "This is what my life has been like for the past five years."

"Well," he said, "I'm glad I took a more dignified route."

"So," Ryoko asked, "why did you bring him here?"

"We had to go somewhere..." I casually explained.

He supplied, "We decided it based on the outcome of an arm-wrestling contest."

People always have this strange idea that they can beat me in contests like that. I have to admit that I enjoy proving them wrong.

"He's a lot stronger than he looks," my other self added.

"You realize where this is headed, right?" I asked Ryoko.

"Yes?" she prompted.

"The sooner we get this over with, the better," I answered. "You know what I mean?"

"Huh?" she said, still a little slow on the uptake. "Oh... Oh! Yes, I quite agree. The sooner, the better."

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

She explained, "He means that it's fate for you to encounter Miss Suzumiya, and that should happen any moment, now."

As I suspected, right at that very moment, in walked Haruhi (just ahead of Yuki).

"Here we go," I muttered.

"That lying son of a bitch!" Haruhi exclaimed, looking for all the world like she was accusing my other self.

"Is she...?" he asked.

"I think she's referring to Koizumi," I informed him.

"He told me you were just acting strange," she continued, suddenly turning to look at me. "And you..."

"Yes?" I said, letting a slight twitch of my lips give away a bit of a smirk.

"You're a slider, right?" she guessed.

"Ding ding ding," I answered. "You've finally guessed it."

"I should have realized it right away," she said.

I noticed Yuki glaring at Ryoko, so I decided to lighten the mood a bit. "Oh, hey," I said. "I found a job. I'm working in a video arcade, as it turns out."

"That's right," my other self agreed. "He is a poor student, after all. He'll need the money. I'm just a visitor, here."

"But I thought..." Haruhi started, obviously not realizing right away that we were switching roles a little bit.

"Which reminds me," I casually added. "I just got this great video game, today. You guys want to see?"

"I know I do," Ryoko said, very enthusiastic.

- x -

I had purchased a racing game, which I found amusing, but the others were very much above my ability. Especially Haruhi. She turned out to be shockingly good at this sort of game, so I left the other me to contend with her in the endeavor to beat her at that game. I sat across from Yuki at her table to have some tea and a bit of conversation. It was the polite thing to do.

"So, tell me," I said. "Did you ever have any intention of informing her?"

"I did not," she answered.

I remarked, "It's just the sort of thing that she likes to snoop out and discover for herself. You realize what a disaster it would have been had she found out via Koizumi?"

"That was not possible," she said.

Just as I was about to state a few examples of how that could go awry, Yuki chimed in again.

"You would not have permitted it," she added.

"Damn right," I said, glad to have averted disaster in my own way, thank you very much. It was necessary to also explain a bit about Mikuru Asahina being a time traveler, but it didn't seem like I needed to worry too much on her behalf. Once I did that, Haruhi seemed content that I was sliding between temporal iterations (which was, after all, very close to the truth).

"So, Kyon," my other self said. "What's up with you and Nagato? You going out?"

I grimaced and asked, "Could someone explain to me why people keep asking me that?"

"It just seems weird," he said. "I mean, you've gotta be dating someone."

"Are you dating someone?" I asked him.

"Of course, I am," he smoothly answered. "Remember?"

Okay... What I remembered is him telling me the name of the girl he was living with. I didn't just assume they were dating.

"Granted," he added, "it isn't my favorite type of relationship."

"Pay attention!" Haruhi snapped at him. "I'm not cutting you any slack."

"Like that would matter," he said, sounding awfully confident.

"Let me ask you, Yuki," I said. "What do you think?"

"Of what?" she asked.

"Of dating," I prompted. "The whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing."

"Language is difficult," she answered. "The description of an instinctive process is still elusive to me."

"You see?" I said. "It's awkward."

"That is not what I mean," she corrected me.

"Huh?" I said, a little bewildered by that.

She explained, "The conveyance of data is problematic in this mode. I would not have the desired effect. It was wise to avoid such communication."

Amazing. I kind of understood what she was saying. I couldn't believe it, but I somehow understood it.

"What?" I asked her. "Are you saying you could have feelings for me?"

"That is precisely correct," she answered. "However, that will not be possible in this time plane."

"Why is that?" I asked.

Silence. Oh, well. I'm fond of saying things like, "The best answer is silence." So. It's not like I have a right to complain.

"Don't bug her, Kyon," Haruhi commanded. "You don't know her. Yuki isn't the type."

"Are you even listening?" I asked her. As usual, Haruhi hears what she wants and ignores everything else.

"Oh crap!" she then said, looking back at the game. "Now, look what you made me do?"

"Me?" I said, confused and starting to get a little flustered again. This was just not my day.

- x -

Let me get this straight. I was wrong about Yuki and her amazing emotional impenetrability. Why? Was this some new upgrade she only had in this time plane, or was this something she had laying dormant within her that she didn't show me? Did it even matter? She told me flat out: she could have feelings for me. That was not in question. The question is, could she really feel the same way? Have I been hurting her the way Asahina was hurting me?

This was something that needed resolving and it needed it as soon as possible. As in, right freaking now. I gestured to her and she joined me out on the balcony of her apartment. Nice view, now what the hell is going on?

"So," I asked, "should I leave? I mean, I feel even more like an intruder, now."

"That is your decision to make," she said. And now that I was really looking at her, I could see that she was nervous.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable," I said. "That's all I meant."

"You need not worry about such a reaction," she immediately responded.

"That's a relief," I said.

"If anything," she added, "your presence is calming. You were correct to confront Suzumiya with the proof of her suspicions. You anticipated her reaction better than I."

"You've always been a little thick-headed," I told her. "Sorry. I couldn't help noticing."

And now that I thought about it, I had really been blinding myself to all this. This was the same look she had given me when that one guy seemed to be asking for a date with her back in high school (in my world, anyway). She wasn't just showing calculated sympathy, she was truly mortified at how that had turned out (don't ask). When she had discovered me in this world, sitting at a table with Koizumi, she had been happy. She wasn't just briefly smiling as a matter of courtesy. She may not have registered pain with the same dramatic expressions, but she did sometimes acknowledge it (which was more than I could do, apparently).

"So, why the wall of silence?" I asked. "Is it forbidden to date outside your time plane?"

"Are you really interested in the answer?" she asked.

"What a question!" I said in amazement.

"I'd really like to hear your answer," she added.

"So would I," I said. "But I guess it would be proper for me to answer yours, first. Of course, I'm interested. This is the first time you've ever proven to be something other than an alien android to me. Why wouldn't I be interested? Are you crazy?"

"Okay."

"If you're worried about how I feel about Miss Asahina, then... Don't be. I'm over that. I think I'm over that."

Funny. If this were a movie, I think I'd be getting ready to get up and walk out.

"Oh god," I said. "This is starting to get maudlin, isn't it? Just forget I said anything."

"No," she firmly responded.

"What?" I said.

"I refuse," she added. "That is why I cannot keep you here."

"You mind explaining...?" I asked, still completely in the dark on that issue.

She explained, "You have a destiny that is not in this world. I realize that, now. Therefore, it will become impossible for the two of us to be together."

"Destiny?" I asked. This was probably the last word I would expect Yuki to ever use.

"I have seen your future," she stated.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"How can you do that? I mean, it hasn't happened to me, so...?"

"How could I remember it if it did not occur?"

Maybe there is a Santa Claus. Hell, if she had told me that, I think I might have gone along with it. I couldn't believe it, but I felt more conviction in her voice than she had ever used in all the conversations she'd had with me combined.

She then answered, "There are no restrictions on dating, as you presume. Anything is permitted. I would not allow such a restriction."

"Neither would I," I agreed. "I just wondered..."

"I appreciate this input," she then stated.

"You're welcome," I said. And that was that.

- x -

I think I was so wound up at this point I could have done an all-nighter. Heck, I probably could have done two or three, back-to-back. This was just too much. Way too much to try and absorb all at once. How to do that? Simple answer: I didn't. But I was pretty wound up. This must be how Haruhi feels all the time.

I decided to check out of that situation early and just spend a little alone time with the sidewalk. Before I knew it, Haruhi had joined me, and we found our way to a coffee shop. Cliche, but whatever.

She then asked me, "Am I keeping you from your studies, Tsuyoshi Tanase?"

"That's not my name," I answered. "And just so you know, I'm having nothing to do with it."

She chuckled and proposed, "Maybe I should go steal that painting."

"Jeez," I complained, wondering if this mood was rubbing off onto her.

"I think I've figured out a good way to fence it," she said with that characteristic finger-under-the-chin gesture of hers.

"Gimme a break," I said.

"Nah..." she relented. "If I did take that painting, I'd be too tempted to keep it."

"You really like paintings, huh?"

"My mother got me addicted, a long time ago. I'm surprised you never noticed. Aren't you from a world where we know each other?"

Apparently not. Why did Haruhi never tell me about this? Weird.

"And why didn't Yuki ever tell me about this?" she complained.

"She obviously knows you too well," I answered. "That's especially true, now."

"And what about in your time?" she asked.

"Clueless," I replied. "Really, she was just fumbling around in the dark. Of course, she would blame it all on me and then have a sour look on her face."

"You can see emotion in her face?" Haruhi asked.

"It's very subtle, but yes," I answered, just now remembering all those moments I had deluded myself about.

"I have to ask..." she started.

"You mean, about Mikuru Asahina?" I guessed.

"Is she...?" Haruhi started to ask.

"She's very, very cute," I answered. "Like what you'd imagine if you crossed an angel with a unicorn."

"God," she complained.

I then softly admitted, "It still hurts to think of what happened to me on that fateful November day back in my second year of high school."

"I don't get this," she stated.

"What?" I asked. "How people can be broken-hearted?"

"I mean," she answered, "why do people subject themselves to this kind of abuse? It's just a silly emotion."

Tell me about it. "Some people are funny that way."

"I'm serious," she said. "I want to know. Why did you do that?"

"You really don't know?" I asked, finding it hard to believe.

"Oh, I know. I just want to know why you did that."

"You're definitely Haruhi. Only you can think like this. Well, which is it? Do you understand or don't you?"

She seemed a little surprised that I could call her out like that. I don't think she really knew herself what she was asking me. People who talk like this are hard to understand or get along with. In fact, I'd be surprised if anyone could stand to be around her.

I asked her, "You're going to spend your whole life alone and not regret it?"

"Maybe," she answered. "Why not?"

"Wouldn't that be a waste?" I asked, a little horrified at the thought.

"Would it?" she asked. "I honestly doubt it. Seems more like a waste to put yourself in that situation in the first place."

"You've never had one of those moments, huh?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Okay, pay attention. I'm not going to be repeating myself."

"All right."

Right about now I was just starting to realize that Yuki had been right. This was why Haruhi had brought me here. She needed me to tell her this. And for some weird reason, I was cool with that. This time. This place. This situation. It was the only way. No way would I ever tell her anything like this, otherwise.

I said, "Picture a nice mid-autumn day. The leaves have all browned and have gathered in their little piles here and there. A mist settles, and clouds start brewing in the east. You can smell it. There's rain on the way, so you take your umbrella with you to school. The air is warmer than you expect, and that's a pleasant little surprise."

"Okay," she said.

"Right as I reach the school grounds, the rain starts to fall. It's very light, but enough that I take out my umbrella. Right at that moment, I look up and notice her. She's not paying attention to me or anything that I can see. She's just wearing her uniform and a raincoat on top of that. She's standing at the entrance, right where the students are mostly heading on inside."

"Is this it?"

"I go and stand next to her for a moment. And, right in that moment, we're just like two strangers. The sound of the rain. The sparse flow of other students into the building. The early morning sun, not quite penetrating that mist and cloud. Can you picture that?"

"Yeah."

"I look at her, and I suddenly realize that I don't really know anything about this girl, and that seems really wrong to me. Why don't we know each other better? Why aren't we living together? You know what I mean? A nice, big house. A decent cash flow. A couple kids. A dog in the yard. That's the kind of future I like to think about. It's perfect. Why can't I share that with her?"

And now that I said it, it sounded utterly stupid. I could still feel that inspiration, though. It was an amazing moment. I don't regret it, either.

I then added, "Then she finally looks around and smiles. So cute! How can I resist?"

"And then?" Haruhi asked.

What had followed was probably the most pleasant conversation of my life followed up by the most horrific.

"No..." I answered. "I'm not telling you that."

"Oh, come on!" she complained.

"I'm saving that part just for myself," I said. No way and under no circumstances would that part ever be shared with anyone, let alone Haruhi.

- x -

Later, as I was walking back to Yuki's, I had the feeling Haruhi had only gotten started with this conversation. I didn't mind so much. Now that the hard part was over, I found it was rather enjoyable.

I asked her, "Your mother got you addicted to paintings? Why have I never heard about this?"

She answered, "It isn't the kind of thing you'd normally talk about."

"I've actually done some painting," I recalled. "I don't really see the attraction."

"You wouldn't," she said.

"So, what's the big deal?" I asked.

"It isn't so much the paintings, as much as it reminds me of home. When I was young."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I don't know why, but I could stare at a painting for hours, and that was good enough. I didn't want anything else."

"It's a sentimental thing."

Haruhi had been an ironically boring child. In fact, the phrase "art nerd" springs to mind, and I'm now having trouble picturing her as anything but. Now that I thought about it, she had admitted to being a child prodigy, and that her parents had considered sending her to high school when she was only ten. I could only imagine.

"That's right," she finally answered. "The thing is, I also think of that time my stupid mother made me live with my grandmother."

"You get depressed?" I guessed.

"I don't know," she answered. "I can't think straight when I get this way. At the time, it just felt wrong. You know? I felt like I was being abandoned and dragged away and imprisoned all at the same time, but I couldn't sense the reason for it. It was weird."

"I kind of understand," I said, thinking back.

"Yeah?" she asked.

I admitted, "My mother didn't exactly have the perfect family, either. I can't say I'm all that proud of myself."

She then said, "The funny thing is that it was liberating, in a way."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She replied, "I could just ride it out and not care what happened. It's funny. All I could think about was how I couldn't help what was going on, so there was no point in getting upset about it."

"Sounds about right," I observed. "That's roughly what I'm thinking right now."

"You aren't upset?" she asked.

"Not really," I answered. "I mean, I did just lose everything. Even so, it never really felt like I was fitting in with that world I was in."

"You didn't get along with your mother?"

"Actually, we got along great. I had just visited my mother about a week ago. I can't do that, now."

"Why not?"

"Because the me in this world is an ass. He hasn't seen Mom in years. He's barely spoken to her over the phone, and only because she called him."

I then recalled with some annoyance how he had said that Mom was "a meddlesome busybody," and that he'd left home relieved to be rid of her.

I then asked Haruhi, "How do I explain everything I was saving for later? It's not like I can rightfully expect her to pick up where we left off, and it's not like I can go back."

"You can't?" she asked.

"I've been told that that world no longer exists," I explained.

I don't think Haruhi had fully appreciated the dangers of sliding. Especially if we're talking about between time planes. That can get messy.

I remarked, "I could never talk to you this way. This is very different from the way you normally treat me. I never got the impression you ever even listen to me."

"What did you say?" she casually returned.

I laughed and said, "Yeah, that's more like it."

"Maybe I didn't like you," she offered.

"That's probably it," I guessed.

"So, you're stuck here?" she asked.

"Funny you should mention that," I said. "I was also just told by Yuki that my destiny lies in yet another world. Weird, huh?"

"You are a slider, after all," she explained, not the least bit curious how Yuki could know something like that. I guess she does know Yuki better than I thought.

"Seems that way," I said.

Haruhi then softly remarked, "The really weird thing is that in all this, you never once showed me a single tear. I think I'd be weeping my eyes out if all that had happened to me."

I laughed heartily and eventually explained, "I think I got that out of my system, years ago."

"Oh, you mean over Mikuru?" she guessed.

"Yeah," I said. "You have no idea how much that hurt."

If she did, she didn't let on to me. I don't know what her relationship with Koizumi had been like, but I just couldn't see that much drama. He seemed like the type to slowly let a relationship wither and die.

- x -

After that, I arranged for some new accommodations for my other self, and I began to think seriously about my destiny. If I was bound to go elsewhere, it would likely be soon. I wouldn't begin to think of having to live a new life and then suddenly find myself in a rut. That seemed inconsistent, and I've never known Haruhi to be inconsistent (oddly contradictory though she is at times).

With that in mind, I arranged for a rendezvous in the park. I somehow convinced Koizumi to join me, Yuki, Haruhi, and Miss Asahina. We all arrived at about the same time, for once. The others seemed confused when I mentioned that, except for the oddly melancholy look on Asahina's face.

"So," Haruhi said, "the gang's all here."

"You called us," Koizumi informed me. "I'm just wondering what we're doing here."

"Whatever it is," Asahina said, "you can count on us. We're here to help, Kyon."

"Thanks," I said. "I just wanted to see everyone again, one last time. I don't know when this is going to happen again."

I went and sat at a park bench and considered.

"So, Yuki," I asked. "What do you think? Is this the last time?"

"For what?" she asked.

I laughed and the explained, "I'm just wondering what you're seeing in your crystal ball of yours."

Silence again. It was probably for the best.

"So," Koizumi asked, "are we just here to amuse you?"

"Don't be a jerk," Haruhi softly scolded him. "He just lost his whole world."

"You..." Koizumi started, then asked, "Oh, you told her about that?"

"That's right," I said. "So, there's no need for you to hide it."

"Aren't you ashamed of yourself?" she complained.

"Should I be?" he said, sounding a little defensive.

"Here's something that never happens," I casually remarked, shaking my head in wonder.

"What?" Haruhi asked.

"You two, fighting," I answered. "In my world, Koizumi just makes some smarmy remarks, and you just give him approval."

"You're kidding!" she exclaimed, very surprised.

"I'm not," I assured her. "It's one of the more hilariously irritating things I can recall about us."

Koizumi looked exasperated with himself and then said, "I apologize. I'm just thinking about the fact that my day tomorrow is going to be starting early."

"Yeah," Haruhi agreed, "we should do something and stop talking about it. Like, right now."

"So," Asahina asked, "what do you want to do?"

"You're really serious?" I asked.

The looks on their faces told me enough. They didn't really know me, but that was okay. They just wanted things to go right for me, even if it was just for a few hours. I almost wanted to cry.

"All right," I said. "Let's go."

- x -

This may sound lame, but the most fun I think I've ever had was at a Poker game. There were more players at the time, but five would be plenty. I just wondered if it was really possible to play in a fast food restaurant so late at night. Apparently, it is.

"I thought you said you had two pair," I complained to Koizumi at one point.

"No," he answered. "I said, I thought I could get two pair."

"I almost had a straight," I added. "I still think a four-card straight should be worth something."

Haruhi then remarked, "This from the guy who pulled out four-of-a-kind just a few hands ago."

"That was pure luck, I admit," I said.

"Not half as lucky as my royal straight," Haruhi bragged, smiling widely.

"Who shuffled this deck?" I muttered.

"That would be you," Koizumi informed me.

"Maybe we should be playing Old Maid," I suggested.

"There's an idea," Haruhi said. "The loser has to pay for another round of drinks."

"Why are you looking at me when you say that?" I complained.

"We should go over to my place," Haruhi suggested. "I have some role-playing books."

"No, thank you," Koizumi said. "We'd be up all night."

"Doesn't that sound like fun, though?" she asked. "I don't mind an all-nighter every now and then."

He then said, "I don't think I could go back to doing that."

"I thought you were retired," I said.

"Yeah," he answered. "That's because that sort of life really burns you out quickly."

"What are you talking about?" Haruhi asked.

"His time of working with a certain organization," I replied.

"His life of crime, huh?" she guessed. "You should tell me about it, some time."

"No, thank you," he objected. "I kind of like my life the way it is. I don't want to anger my superiors."

"They still have a hold over you, huh?" she guessed

"That's right," he said.

"That's too bad," she commented.

- x -

When Yuki and I returned to her place, it seemed like old times again. I just kept oddly remembering that stack of romance novels, so I started a little conversation just to break the tension that would have ensued, otherwise.

I remarked, "I think Koizumi enjoyed himself the most. I couldn't get a word out of Miss Asahina."

"You seemed very familiar with that situation," she observed.

"That's about as close to home as I can get, I think," I added.

"So, what now?" she asked.

"You don't know?" I asked. "I thought you knew the future."

"I do," she answered, "but I lack the data concerning exactly when."

So, she knew what was going to happen, and that it was in the future. But she didn't know exactly when in the future it was going to happen? I couldn't wrap my head around that thought.

She then explained, "The future and its timing is entirely up to you."

"I really don't get what you're telling me," I complained.

"You'll understand, soon," she said.

"You mean," I guessed, "I'll just remember something, and then..."

"Yes," she answered.

I sighed and admitted, "I have to say, I do think it's a good thing when Haruhi doesn't know about you being an alien."

"You approve?"

"There's something strangely right about it. I don't mind her thinking of me as strange, but her knowing about you is just... Well, it seems wrong to me, now."

"You were the one who informed her."

"That's right, but I didn't think seriously about the consequences. I'm starting to regret having done that. This particular Haruhi is much more interesting."

"True."

"The problem is that I just can't relate at all to this particular Haruhi. I'm not sure what my reaction would be. Probably something negative."

"Are you certain?"

"Yeah."

Yuki seemed to have a strange interest in the way this conversation was going, but I couldn't quite put my finger on why.

She explained, "This opportunity has become purposeful, and I wish to make certain that it is not wasted."

"So..." I started to ask.

"Is there anything else about this world of which you approve?" she asked.

I then had a chill, like an icy finger went down my spine, and I asked, "Am I crazy, or am I sensing that you're asking me to help you shape future worlds?"

"That is a possibility," she answered.

"For heaven's sake..." I softly complained.

She added, "The Data Integration Thought Entity always listens to your suggestions. Your interpretations have always proven to be useful."

I thought for a moment and then asked, "Okay, how about this? How about I never encounter anything really crazy, just once?"

Yuki didn't seem like she had an answer to that.

"Or is that even possible?" I asked.


	44. Riders On The Storm

- Chapter 4: Riders On The Storm

I had come a long way since Haruhi had informed me (back on the first day of high school) of how I had made her aware of time travelers (though that was actually more herself and some other me). I hated having to own responsibility for that, but there was really no one else I could blame, either. Damn it. I wasn't wrong about her being a weirdo and sounding like she was joking. I think anyone else in class would have agreed with me on that. Aliens and time travelers? Am I really supposed to take that seriously? But, as it turned out, I was wrong to think that they weren't real. It was galling and profoundly annoying in ways you can't imagine to have to swallow all that.

Even so, here I was, in the grip of a profound change. Not just the whole world or even just the way I could relate to everyone else that I thought I knew, but my deepest understanding of everyone I thought I knew. Koizumi had turned out to be irritable and even prone to angry arguments. Miss Asahina had turned out to be a respectable and even admirable soul, capable of sympathy and deep feeling toward me and my dilemma. Haruhi actually had a brain and could listen to me string more than two or three words together. But the thing that gave me the deepest spur was how Yuki had turned out to be. I had thought of us as an amusing pair of friends, and it hadn't even occurred to me that she could be more emotional and passionate than Haruhi. Emotions? Ha! That didn't even register on my radar, though that was really more my own blind spot than any form of reality.

Nothing in this world is more infuriating than some asshole who insists that he understands when he really doesn't, but that just makes yourself the most depressing person on the planet when that person turns out to be you. I had forgotten what it felt like to be wrong about things, and that time in high school had just been a brief warm up to this experience. Part of me wanted to defend that idea of everything. It felt so right to see Haruhi as the idiot and Koizumi as the endless enabler. I liked the idea of Yuki being an android and even of Asahina being a heartless klutz. It made sense that way. But, in reality, I had just been leaping to conclusions. This was something I knew was the wrong approach to things, but could you really blame me? I wanted it to be real, so very much.

I might have been tempted to think this was all an elaborate practical joke had I not also encountered my other self. What a change was there! My other self was a babbling, incoherent idiot. How could I manage to get by with so little merit? I can't even begin to describe all the things that are wrong with him, and yet I can't deny that he is me. The worst thing about him is how utterly innocent and naive he really is. He isn't just impulsive and reckless, but he seems to enjoy being that way, as if he were a child. And my scoldings of him seem to me to be like kicking a puppy. I can't do it.

Well... With all of this weighing on my mind, you can understand how I suddenly came to find myself waking with a feeling of having lost a few hours. I initially thought that I had been abducted, but then I recalled that Yuki had given me a glass of milk (probably spiked, now that I think about). I had asked about it, and Yuki had not hesitated to offer some of her romance novels for me to read. She hadn't really been hiding them, after all. That was just my impression (from being a bit of a neat freak lately about the kitchen). I had lost consciousness shortly afterward. It's probably just as well. Everything was so fresh and new and terrible and wonderful that I doubted I could have slept without some assistance. Shortly after waking, I decided to go chill out in a place that I knew would never change: the local library. I privately listened to some soothing music while trying to imagine that I was somewhere else. A nice beach somewhere. Yeah. That seemed about right.

Koizumi eventually found me and gestured at me in his odd way.

"Oh, hey," I said. "What's up?"

"Still recovering from that stunt you pulled last night," he said in a nice way.

"You say something?" I asked, just to mess with him.

"You heard me just fine," he said, not relenting. "Take those things out of your ears and listen, okay?"

"Okay," I said, taking off my earphones. "Sheesh."

"Jeez," he complained. "You're a lot like Miss Suzumiya, you know?"

"No need to insult me," I muttered.

"It's true, actually," he said. "I think all those years of hanging around with her have made you just as impulsive as she is."

"A little louder, please," I said, somewhat snide and mocking. "I think someone in the room didn't hear you."

"I'm one to talk, right?" he admitted. "Here I am, being obnoxious. Which is just like her."

The strangely wistful way that he said made me shake my head in wonder.

"What?" he asked.

"Amazing," I answered. "The you I knew could never admit that."

"What?" he asked. "That Miss Suzumiya is obnoxious?"

"That Haruhi is anything but 'charming,'" I answered. "That was always your position on the matter."

"The strain must have made me snap," he guessed. He then asked, "You have a plan, then?"

"For what?"

"For this destiny of yours. I couldn't help overhearing."

"When was this?"

"Not you, I mean. I overheard Miss Suzumiya speaking with Miss Asahina. That was quite enlightening."

When had that happened? I tried to think of a time when those three could have been alone together and I just couldn't picture it. Okay.

"So?" I asked. "What do you think of Miss Asahina?"

I think I knew what he thought. His glare told me that he not only knew her all too well for having just met her, but that he also didn't care for my cleverness in our short conversations.

"Yes," I admitted, "I'm dodging the question."

"You don't have a plan, do you?" he accused.

"I do," I said. "But it's really more of a position. I'm waiting. Getting ready to pounce."

"As usual," he said, sounding as if he were complaining.

- x -

I was a little sentimental. You could understand. I was starting to dearly miss the routine, and I found myself at the college waiting for class to start. I think my other self sensed this, because I soon saw him beckon for me at the door.

"Hey," I said. "What do you want? Class is about to start."

"Come on," he said. "Class is canceled."

"It is?" I said, just to amuse myself, apparently.

I followed him toward the entrance as he nervously toyed with his pack of cigarettes. I wondered if he was even aware of that habit.

"How did you get so fit?" he asked. "I'm wondering about that."

"No special reason," I answered. "Why do you ask?"

He reflexively took out a cigarette and lit it up. "It kind of pisses me off, is all."

I smoothly remarked, "I don't think you really have a right to complain, considering what you do to your health."

From the look on his face, I would say that he hadn't even been aware of when he had lit up.

"Not to mention, your teeth," I added.

"I brush three times a day, at least," he answered that.

"That's good to hear," I said, a little relieved.

He shook his head and then guessed, "I'll bet that Haruhi chick had you on a string, and you just got used to it."

"Maybe," I admitted.

"She's a freaking spaz," he complained. "How on Earth could you put up with that?"

I know. This wasn't news to me. I immediately recalled the many times I had asked myself that. Now, I was asking myself that literally.

He added, "I think I'd have been arrested for assault by now, if I had had to put up with that for five years."

"That's kind of..." I tried to object, but that also sounded a lot like something I had been sorely tempted to do, so many times.

"So?" he asked, a strangely creepy grin on his face.

"So?" I asked, getting a bad feeling about this turn in the conversation.

"Have you ever done her?" he asked.

"'Done her?'" I asked, amazed that he could phrase that in such an insipid fashion.

"You know," he said, winking.

"Sadly," I answered, "I think I do."

"Sheesh," he complained. "You know, you're way too uptight to be me."

"Seriously?" I asked, wondering how he had the nerve to be looking down at me.

He explained, "That Itsuki guy is more relaxed than you, and he's so tight I expect him to crap out a diamond, any day now."

"Good god," I said, disbelieving my other self could say that.

"Maybe it's just Haruhi's influence?" he guessed. That again?

"I doubt it," I said, not liking that idea at all.

"So, why?" he asked.

As we walked outside, I thought about that. Yeah. Why? Why am I this way? Why do we consider water to be wet or fire hot? Why should anything that's obviously right make sense? Idiot.

"So," I asked, "how did things go with Miss Asakura?"

"I'm getting a little tense, to be honest," he answered.

"Tense?" I asked.

He put out his cigarette and started to develop a scowl on his face. I have to admit, I wasn't sure that he'd be able to cope with spending the night with an alien. It seemed like a good option, but then I also knew from experience that Ryoko could be annoying at times.

He answered, "That girl makes me look sour and depressing, and that's not very easy."

"Have you done her yet?" I asked.

"No," he answered.

"No?" I asked, just a bit disappointed.

"Look," he explained, "I may have lost count of the number of girlfriends I've had, but I still have standards. That Ryoko girl is definitely way too easy. I ain't touching her without a guard dog and a doctor's note."

"You do know she's an alien, right?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered, "but I still adhere to the saying, 'Better safe than sorry.' You know what I mean?"

"I think I understand," I said.

"Aliens..." he remarked, shaking his head. "You've lived an interesting life, you know?"

"Maybe we should trade," I suggested.

He laughed and immediately said, "Not a chance."

"That's what I thought," I muttered.

"So," he asked, "what are aliens like?"

I thought about this for a few moments, as we left the campus grounds and started toward town.

"They're strangely familiar," I answered. "I can't help thinking that they're a little too much like Haruhi."

"So, they aren't outlandishly aliens," he observed.

"They're very human in many ways," I conceded, "but don't jump to conclusions. They still have freaky powers that defy explanation."

"For example?" he asked.

I answered, "I once witnessed Yuki pick up a refrigerator like you would a pencil. She wasn't even straining to lift it."

In retrospect, that had been the day I had informed Yuki of my feelings toward Miss Asahina. Yuki had seemed strangely annoyed by that. It was surely just a coincidence that this happened on the same day we had been dealing with some mysterious group of aliens that had turned out to be hiding inside of cold places.

I then added, "I've also seen Yuki performing something that looked suspiciously like a magical ritual. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it didn't look like something you would imagine an alien would do."

Well, okay. You tell me. You see someone repeating some weird chant inside of what appears to be a glowing hexagon inscribed in a circle... What would you think?

My other self explained, "They do say that a sufficiently advanced technology is impossible to distinguish from magic, so maybe that's all magic ever was."

"It's probably all just relative," I admitted.

"That Yuki is interesting," he remarked.

"Yes, she is," I said, glad to finally be in real agreement with him about something.

"What else can you tell me about her?" he asked.

"What do you want to know?" I asked.

He then answered, "She's referred to Ryoko as a subordinate. Does she have a superior?"

I replied, "She has made reference to more than one."

"Any special boss person?" he asked.

"Some kind of Data Entity," I answered. "I'm not sure, but I think they have some kind of mental connection. She used to always refer to herself as an extension or a tangible expression of this Data Entity. Lately, it seems more and more like she has a sense of self."

"I see," he said.

"You do?" I prompted, wondering what it was he had figured out.

"Yeah," he answered, smiling. "You've been influenced by that Yuki girl. I thought there was something strangely similar between the two of you."

"I don't think so," I said, reflexively disliking anything that sounded fishy.

He then added, "And then there's Mikuru Asahina. That is her name, right?"

Yeah. I had told him. Which was probably a mistake, but then I had been staring down the barrel of thinking that Haruhi was some kind of god, and that can make anything else sound reasonable in comparison.

"Yeah," he said. "I can't say her name without you noticeably flinching. I never knew a man could have so much reason to feel tied down by a woman."

"Don't say 'tied down' to Haruhi," I warned him. "She might take you literally."

"Okay," he added, taking out another cigarette. "Yeah, this is explains a lot. Your impression of women is all messed up."

- x -

I spent the morning talking with my other self, and he definitely had a bad reputation, though he really only cared about hobbies and TV. This was most of what we talked about. It was really bizarre that someone could put so much energy into things like that, but then I had always been more focused and at peace with myself in the grasp of those habits before Haruhi had come along. Even so, it was mysterious. It seemed as though this me was rebelling against the idea of being anything like Haruhi. As we had lunch at a coffee shop, he admitted some of this to me.

"To be honest," he said, "I think there's probably something seriously wrong with everyone in this world. You, however, have definitely hit the grand prize for bad luck."

"My luck is so bad," I agreed, "I keep expecting it to wrap around to good luck."

"You met Tsuruya?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Sorry," he said, looking mortified.

I added, "I met her a few times in high school, but I never pictured her as the type to..."

"Neither did I," he interrupted.

"So, why did you...?" I started to ask.

"Don't look at me," he complained. "It was always her idea."

"Right," I said.

"Really," he insisted. "I never hit on her. Not even once."

"And yet," I pointed out, "you slept with her."

"I didn't have to do anything," he disclaimed. "That girl was totally on autopilot."

I thought about that and admitted, "Somehow, I have no trouble believing that."

"And all you do is study?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

"You don't have a job?" he asked.

"Should I?" I asked.

"So," he observed, "you're a bum."

"I'm a college student," I corrected. "Maybe you should try it, some time."

"College is for suckers," he claimed. "You have to work to survive."

"Easy for you to say," I complained. "You've got an inside track."

"Are you referring to Koizumi?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

He said, emphatically, "I just turned him down, today."

"You did?" I asked, a little horrified.

My other self explained, "He had you lined up to work in a clothing store. I put a stop to that."

"Why did you do that?" I asked, thinking a clothing store would probably be a good fit.

"Trust me," he said. "I'm doing you a favor. You can do much better."

"Maybe you can," I said. "I've never had that kind of luck."

"I don't know about you," he remarked, "but I've always relied on skill for work."

"Really?" I wondered. "You never took a yen you didn't honestly earn?"

He then admitted, "I've had some luck, but I wouldn't call it essential."

"You wouldn't?" I asked, a little skeptical.

"No," he answered with casual enthusiasm.

"Well..." I conceded. "Now that I think about it, if all you ever get is good luck, why would you ever notice it?"

It then hit me that the difference between us was like night and day. All this me ever did was sleep through his life, relying on the soft pillows and warm sheets of his good fortune to coast by. My life was like the harsh glare of noon sunlight. I didn't have the luxury of being lax or irresponsible.

"In fact," I added, "I'm willing to bet that it isn't good luck at all."

"What on Earth?" he said, a little disconcerted by this twist of reasoning.

"I think I've figured it out," I told him.

"Okay," he said. "Lay it on me."

"This girl," I explained. "Haruhi Suzumiya."

"Right," he prompted.

I explained, "She's been making the world revolve around you. She doesn't do it consciously. She's just been making everything work out for you, whatever way you want. But that's no way to live your life. If you live your life always getting your way, you never learn to keep vigilant. You never stay honest with yourself. You frequently forget to keep an open mind. It's actually made your life a lot more difficult."

"I don't think so," he said, sounding a lot like me right there.

I insisted, "I think you should reflect on this. I really think you'll discover that I'm right."

"So, how about you?" he asked. "How do you explain yourself?"

I answered, "I think I came from a world where Haruhi wanted nothing from me. She just wanted me to sort it all out for myself, and that's basically what's happened."

"And that's why you're here?" he asked.

"Yeah, no," I said. "That's the part I can't figure out."

He then smirked and said, "Sounds like this Haruhi girl is a real bitch. Maybe I should go beat some sense into her."

I knew he was only kidding, although he sounded suspiciously like he might really do it.

- x -

After lunch, I wasn't in the mood for more weirdness. I just wanted to relax, and I found a good way to do that was to watch that racing game play in demo mode. Something about it was just strangely soothing. Yuki returned and took note of this.

"You're early," she observed.

"Classes got canceled," I explained.

"I see," she said.

"You want the TV?" I asked.

"No," she answered.

"I'm probably just going to have a nap," I said, lounging on the sofa.

This was better than my morning. They do say that a normal person is someone who talks to himself and a crazy person is someone who expects an answer when they do that. It's not often that I can reasonably claim to have done a lot of crazy things.

I then remarked, "I like what you did around the sofa. It looks very inviting."

It was true. This Yuki had learned a lot about decoration, to judge from how warm and harmonious most of the colors were. It was a little weird that I was just now noticing.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, wondering what she was up to.

She paused for a moment, as I turned and noticed Mikuru Asahina entering the room. "I enjoyed this time. I hope we will meet again."

"Laying around?" Asahina asked. "Oh, Kyon. You'll regret it if you leave like that."

"We're going?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered.

- x -

Here was another fateful day with Mikuru Asahina. This time, it seemed like I had finally wrapped around to my good luck. Only, this time, it was all on me. I told her we'd take a walk. So, we began walking to nowhere in particular.

She then stated, "I just want you to know that whatever you decide, I'll stand behind it."

"What do you want?" I asked, curious to know.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I mean, out of life," I answered. "Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

"Oh, I don't know," she replied. "I'd like to have a lot of money. A big house, a couple kids, a dog in the yard. You know? The usual thing."

This sounded painfully familiar.

"Isn't that what you want?" she asked me.

I admitted, "If you had asked me that three years ago. I would have jumped at it. Now, though..."

She then asked, "If I find that I'm unable to get married, would you marry me?"

I laughed and answered, "Oh, sure. Right after I slap myself in the face a few times."

That was really wrong, of course, and I really regretted saying that, but how could I not?

"Sorry," I said. "I guess I still have a problem with you."

"That's funny," she remarked, "because I don't remember doing anything that terrible. But, you're right. It's probably just as well if we didn't get involved."

"Thank you," I said, very grateful to have this chapter of my life behind me.

"What do you want out of life?" she then asked.

"I just want to see the world," I answered. "Go crazy. Get in adventures."

"Really?" she asked.

"Doesn't that sound cool?" I asked her. "I mean, life would be a lot more interesting that way."

She then asked, "No one ever told you why that time quake happened, did they?"

"You didn't sound like you understood it," I remarked.

"I'm not sure," she conceded, "to be honest, but I think I know."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I think a time quake is just what Miss Nagato likes to call a 'temporal feedback loop.' It's what happens when you get some kind of repeating paradox. It makes the space-time continuum go all wonky."

I honestly liked the way Miss Asahina described this, but it still somehow eluded me. Her way of explaining things makes it all seem a little too obvious, and I end up doubting that she really knows what she's talking about.

"To put it more simply:" she added, "I made it happen. Or rather, the me that originally was made it happen."

"How did she do that?" I asked.

She answered, "She tried to stop herself from kissing you when we were young. And she succeeded."

"Say what?" I asked, thinking that that was very bizarre, but then also suddenly thinking that it sounded strangely familiar.

"She had just spent her life with you," she continued. "Or rather, she lived with the you that emerged in the sixth time plane."

"I see," I said. "This is why everyone always goes silent when that subject comes up."

"You see," she explained, "in this era things get tight. I mean, really tight."

"Money-wise?" I guessed.

"That's right," she answered.

"I think I see," I said.

She then explained, "The me who fell for you didn't want to leave this era, but she didn't belong here, either."

"So," I guessed, "she decided to put an end to the possibility of it happening again?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Something like that. Anyway, I just wanted to point out that there was more to it than just what you knew about, and there was always the possibility..."

"Is this some kind of confession?" I asked, not completely serious.

She laughed and answered, "Maybe."

I then groaned and complained, "Don't put me through this again."

"Sorry," she said. "But I want you to come to the future with me. Even if we don't do anything more than just be friends. There's a place for you, and I know you're going to come with me."

"You know it?"

"It is fate."

There's that concept again. I never seem to have a choice in anything, do I? I mean, it was nice that she was letting me open that door myself, but I didn't seem to have a choice in which door it was that I was opening.

I smirked and then answered, "All right. Let's go to the future, then. I can't wait."

She then said, "There's something you need to take care of, first."

"There is?" I asked, drawing a blank.

She frowned and lightly glared at me in disapproval. "You've forgotten? I can't believe you would do that."

"Hmm...?" I asked, then said, "Oh, I did forget. That guy who saved my life. I never thanked him."

"Sheesh," she complained. "You did forget."

"Well, you could understand," I said. "I mean, I had just nearly gotten killed. It was a very disturbing incident. I'm lucky I remembered there was someone else involved at all."

"So?" she asked.

I thought for a moment and then said, "Oh... You mean, we should go back to that time and see who it was and..."

"Right," she said. "Are you ready?"

"I'm ready," I answered. "Any time you are."

- x -

We then went to one of those pedestrian bridges. I hadn't seen one in a while, but I discovered that they had a good use for time travelers. If you wait a minute or so, you can vanish there, and no one would ever notice. Miss Asahina then sheepishly admitted that she could also rely on parking lots, rooftops, parks, various tunnels. Yes, she time travels a lot. We ended up coming out of an alley onto another sidewalk.

"Is this the place?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "This is it, all right. There's the store over there, and here's this building. That much is burned into my memory."

She pointed and asked, "So, right there is where the accident takes place?"

"That's right," I said, thinking about how familiar this all was, now.

She then looked expectant, though she also looked a little embarrassed.

"How much time do we have before it occurs?" I asked.

"I..." she started to answer, then admitted, "I have no idea. I was just guessing at the exact time."

"So...?" I asked.

"Anywhere from a minute to five minutes," she narrowed it down.

"Okay," I said, content to wait.

Just my luck. Here again was one of those moments. So cute! Mikuru Asahina can really make any scene look positively magical. It's weird, but for once I didn't feel like my heart was getting ripped from my chest. This was just another awkward moment, and I didn't want it to end, although I'm sure she probably did wish this would end soon.

I then asked her, "Purely as a hypothetical, let's say that we inadvertently stop whoever it is from rescuing me. What would that cause?"

"Don't even suggest it," she said, looking terrified. "Oh, jeez."

"A time quake," I guessed, "right?"

She answered, "That kind of temporal disruption would be a new one to me. You see, you didn't just traverse the time planes."

"I didn't?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "You were somehow snatched from a dimension that had disappeared. Actually, I have no idea why you appear at this time at all. I just assumed that this was the work of Miss Suzumiya."

"Great," I muttered. "This again."

"It's true," she said. "Miss Suzumiya has some kind of weird ability. I'm not sure how to describe it."

"She can make people time travel?" I asked.

"She can make herself time travel," she answered. "How do you think she rescued herself when she created the time plane you emerged from?"

I then realized, "So, we aren't just looking for some guy I barely remember."

"No," she answered. "I think there should be some kind of distortion."

"You know," I said, "I just had the strangest thought..."

"What?" she asked, but I was deep in musing.

Okay, here's the problem. I can't remember this guy no matter how hard I try, so I would never be able to recognize him in time to know when to be on the lookout for my other self (so I could hide, if necessary). See? If I wait for something crazy to start happening, something much worse could happen, and I might really vanish in a puff of logic. I mean, what the hell does logic matter to someone who can travel through time without even realizing it?

The only thing I knew was where the craziness was going to start, and I decided to just go there. Even if I'm getting in the way, it's better than being wrong about this. And, right as I started to enter the road, I suddenly remembered. It wasn't any tourist who saved my life. Right as I was remembering, I suddenly appeared within a foot of myself and I saw that I had just barely enough time to tackle myself. That's okay, though, because I was ready for this.

The reason I was ready for this was because I had consciously blocked this event from my mind. I somehow knew that that was the only way I would be able to relax well enough to be able to pounce on this situation so quickly. I had to distract myself with thinking that something... anything else had happened. It was the only way I could prevent myself from freaking out about the fact that it was all logically impossible.

Before I could stop myself, I then barked at the other me, "Do you have a death wish? Watch where you're going!"

The truck that had so mysteriously appeared then vanished again, and Miss Asahina suddenly grabbed my arm. In another moment, we were gone, leaving my other self trembling and in shock (and now I could finally remember all that, as well).

- x -

The next moment, I saw what looked like a small police station. I somehow had the video game I had been about to return in my hand and discovered that the book for it was missing.

"Well, here we are," Asahina informed me.

"What?" I asked, not sure she had said anything.

"The future," she answered. "The present, for me."

"Why are we in front of the cops?" I asked.

"That's classified," she said. I looked and she appeared to be joking again.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Yeah. It's just that I don't want to run into Miss Nagato. It's almost certain that she won't ever appear right here."

Yuki did have some kind of strange aversion to cops. She was almost Haruhi-like in that respect.

"How do you...?" I started to ask.

"You really want to know?" she asked.

"Yes, I do," I answered. "Actually, I think I can handle it."

"Don't sound so serious," she answered. "It's not what you're thinking. She just doesn't like authority figures."

"Oh, okay," I said. "Hey, hold on."

"What?" she asked.

"Yuki is in the future?" I asked. "What's she doing here?"

"You honestly don't know?" she asked.

"No," I answered. I then guessed, "Did she travel here or does she just not age?"

"I'm not too sure about that," Asahina replied, looking very uncertain. "You're just going to have to ask her."

"When will that be?" I asked.

"Not anytime soon, I hope," she answered.

- x -

The future is very much what you might imagine. Very theme-parkish. At the same time, there's this seedy quality to it that's hard to describe. It seems like the designers of this era got about halfway through and just said to themselves, "You know what? That's good enough."

In any case, I was still dazzled by the weirdness of it all, and we soon found ourselves in what appeared to be a large bookstore. We somehow ended up in a discussion of books and whether Haruhi spends much time writing in various time planes. It turned out that she actually does that more often than I had assumed.

"You don't sell them here, do you?" I asked.

"We aren't permitted," she answered. "There's just too much in the way of sensitive information."

"So," I asked, "how do you even know about what I've written?"

She chuckled and admitted, "I'm really not supposed to read them. Actually, I'm supposed to be in physical arts and meditation training. High level biographies are reserved for stage four."

She sounded like she was roughly translating. I should mention that everything in the future (though it's still Japan) is in some weird variation of Japanese that looks like it's been blended with a little Russian, Spanish and German.

She then added, "I get a lot of latitude, however, since I'm a temporal orphan."

"You get the sympathetic treatment?" I guessed.

"My superiors don't need the headache," she answered. "There's already another me who's supposed to be here."

"Okay," I said, not quite able to follow that.

"Plus," she added, "there's the original me. Or rather, a copy or two of the original me. It's all very confusing."

I then heard a strange whirring sound and asked, "What's that noise?"

"That's the transport," she answered. "Or... Hold on. I have no idea."

As we looked around, I was rather startled to see Yuki and Haruhi appear right out of thin air. This was the Haruhi I was used to, but Yuki was strangely younger and still wearing a high school uniform.

Haruhi immediately remarked, "This doesn't look right."


	45. I Looked At You

- Chapter 5: I Looked At You

So, now I was in (what I would call) the year 2375. Suffice it to say that things are different, though I've noticed how a lot of things stayed pretty much the same. We still have day and night, unpredictable rain, the yearly snowfalls, people who get hit by lightning (this is considered an amusing pastime, now), and the inevitable domestic disturbances that keep the cops busy. So, if you were hoping any of that would be different, I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed if you do happen to travel to this era.

Not that you could do that, though. I mean, time travel is expressly forbidden, so to do that would require some special exceptions. It's all very strange and arbitrary, so I won't go into it. I don't think anyone really knows what's going on, and the job of keeping it under control seems very elusive and secretive. I'm almost positive that Yuki or her superiors know all about it. Even a world like this isn't really ready for something as bizarre as time travel. Speaking of the state of the world, I've come to realize that this era isn't as Utopian as I had been hoping. It's true that things have progressed, but what we've progressed toward is really a greater closeness as a species rather than toward any sort of perfection. I could go into more detail, but I've been told that a lot of it is classified, so I won't bother.

Among the things that didn't change was the need for private housing, and I soon found myself visiting an apartment that seemed like it belonged to Miss Asahina. Haruhi came with us, and Yuki had mysteriously vanished as quickly as she had appeared (I just assume she hitched a ride on a certain truck). The place was a kind of controlled chaos that I found strangely familiar. Miss Asahina seemed to like collecting pictures of us, and I noticed with some annoyance how Koizumi always seemed to be cheerful in them. Among the confusion, I noticed what seemed to be a number of notebooks with that strange writing. Sheesh. Yet another language to learn. Oh, well. At least immersion wasn't going to be a problem. Everywhere I went, I was confronted by that language. It turned out to be a lot simpler and more logical than I had assumed.

It was actually something of a relief that Haruhi had joined me. I don't know that Miss Asahina really understood just how jarring and unpleasant the past few days had been for me. Every familiar face I could see was that much more peace of mind for me, and that meant I could cope with the change of setting that much better. Even this Haruhi was a welcome relief. She turned out to indeed be the Haruhi I had known in my time. This Haruhi was no stranger to time travel. She had been with me on several weird time-traveling adventures (many of which I still remember).

Haruhi and I went to sit at Asahina's table to talk about everything. There was a lot I still hadn't found out about.

Haruhi complained, "I seriously thought someone was pranking me, but you really did disappear."

"I see," I said. "Just another one of those unexplained phenomena."

"I know," she said, beaming. "Isn't it cool?"

"So," I then asked, "you went looking for me?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"Why did you do that?" I asked.

"No particular reason," she answered.

"Still flunking out of math?" I guessed.

"I'm not flunking," she objected. "I just needed a little help. Sheesh. Figures, you'd give me a hard time, even in the future."

Miss Asahina then shortly arrived with some tea, complaining, "Okay, hold on. Miss Nagato said that she was returning you to the third time plane. This is the seventh."

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"This isn't the ninth?" Haruhi wondered.

"Oh no," Asahina said. "I can't believe I fell for this again."

"What the?" I said, not really following any of this.

"Oh, I get it," Haruhi said. "Yuki told me that so you wouldn't know that she was actually delivering me here."

Asahina added, "I can't believe she..."

"This is the seventh time plane?" I asked, confirming the one part I think I actually understood.

"Well, yeah," Asahina answered. "And now, of course, it all makes sense."

"It does?" I asked.

She then sat with us and explained, "The seventh time plane was never obstructed in the future. It was just the past that we couldn't communicate with. And, as far as the dimensional anomaly goes, the seventh was a kind of transitional plane."

"So," I concluded, "it is possible to return to the previous time planes."

"Well, no," she answered. "I have no idea how Miss Nagato did it. I'm almost positive that it's not really possible. Oh no. Now, I'm confused. What the heck is going on?"

Haruhi explained, "She is an alien, you know?"

As if that explained anything. That wasn't the part that was bothering me, so I said, "You never answered my question. How did you know what Yuki told Haruhi in some other time plane?"

"I read it," she answered.

"Oh," I said, realizing, "my autobiographies. I don't suppose you've read the one we're creating right now, have you?"

"I tried," she answered, "but Miss Nagato forbade me from reading it."

Somehow, I doubted Asahina understood the concept of synchronization well enough to be trusted with this information. And if she did read it, any deviation she made would be risking a temporal paradox, so she might be reluctant to try.

Haruhi then predictably said, "You're going to have to show me some of those."

"I..." Asahina started to say, then stopped herself.

I explained, "I don't think she's supposed to have read them in the first place."

"Oh, Mikuru!" Haruhi exclaimed. "You naughty girl! Now, I have even more I can hold over your head."

Oh, right. This Haruhi was very much into larceny and blackmail. She hadn't blackmailed Asahina as much as she had wanted to in her time, so I guess this was Haruhi getting caught up.

- x -

We spent the rest of that day touring around what appeared to be the city, and then had something to eat at a restaurant that offered an educational program of some kind. Or maybe some form of comedy. It's hard for me to tell the difference. The language barrier was already a big problem, though not enough to get me into any serious trouble. I had the feeling that nothing short of assault and battery would get me into trouble in this era.

Afterward, we returned to Asahina's place, and she quickly fell asleep on what appeared to be a sofa.

"So," I asked Haruhi, "is the future everything you thought it would be?"

"It's strangely familiar," she answered. "I thought it would be a lot more..."

I guessed, "Like Star Trek, right?"

"Different is what I meant," she answered.

"This isn't our future," I softly remarked. "This is the future the way some strange, irresponsible selves made it. Assuming they had anything to do with it."

She then complained, "I can't get over how pathetic the future is. It almost makes me wish I'd stayed in the past."

"I know what you mean," I admitted.

She then added, "It's no wonder people time travel from here."

"You can't be serious," I said, already horrified at the notion of going back.

"I'm not," she admitted. "But, you know, I am always super serious."

"Are you mocking yourself?" I wondered.

"So..." she asked me. "What do you think of this situation?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean..." she started to say. Asahina almost stirred, and we waited a moment for her to go back to sleep. Haruhi then softly continued, "We're like stowaways. We've traveled to some strange, distant lands, and now we're surrounded by people who are barely comprehensible."

"It is very distressing," I said.

"Yeah," she said, "but don't you think it's exciting?"

I replied, "I've had my share of excitement, already. No, thank you."

"You are such a wet blanket," she frowned.

I then complained, "You don't think it's enough to nearly get killed by a truck and then have to discover that you yourself are the one who went back in time and saved yourself? Because that just got through happening to me."

"Lucky dog," she had the nerve to say.

That was exactly the kind of thing she would enjoy doing. She could never experience that kind of thrill because Yuki would never permit it.

"Nothing really cool like that ever happens to me," she added.

I then quipped, "Except leaping ahead in time, thanks to your friendly neighborhood alien and her conveniently hidden time traveling duplicate."

"She really isn't the Mikuru we knew?" she asked.

"No," I replied, "I think she said that she's from the fourth time plane. The one we knew was from the second."

"Oh," Haruhi said, disappointed. "The Mikuru we knew was from the same time plane as the older me. And this one is completely different."

"That's right," I said.

"So, do you have the hots for this one, too?"

"Gimme a break."

"Sheesh. You're such a child."

"You're one to talk."

- x -

The next day, we had a stroll through a park. Parks in the future are very much like they are in the past. It was nice to see they hadn't changed much. Asahina was content to simply lead us toward the direction of a fountain.

"You have to admit," Haruhi remarked. "It's kind of romantic in a freakish way. I mean, we're all stranded in this time."

I then pointed out, "You were the one who came looking for me. I was just innocently minding my own business."

She then complained, "How was I supposed to know that I would end up sliding out of the world, somehow? That was all your fault, as far as I'm concerned."

"Well," I observed, "there's no point in getting upset about it."

"That's right," she admitted. "What's done is done."

Just then, I heard a sound like rushing water, and I then realized (mostly from the confused look on Asahina's face) that this was something she wanted to avoid.

"Am I the only one hearing that?" I asked.

"Maybe we should go somewhere else," Asahina suggested.

I then noticed a strange, clownish figure. It looked a lot like one of those bad actors in the restaurant last night, and I couldn't help following it.

"Okay," Asahina warned, "I just want you to know that I think this is a bad idea."

"Oh, I see," Haruhi said. "There's some kind of clown over there."

"Looks familiar, somehow," I said, trying to place it. I knew I had seen it recently, but...

"Am I crazy, or...?" Haruhi started to ask.

The figure led me into a clearing where I soon discovered that the sound was really a crowd of people, all softly chatting in that strangely fluid language of theirs.

"Whoa," I said, a little overwhelmed at how many people there suddenly were. "This is..."

- x -

After about an hour, I eventually found myself in what appeared to be a coffee shop, and I managed to corner the clown at a table inside.

"Hold on," I said. "I don't suppose you understand me?"

She took off her mask and asked, "Have you come here for food?"

"I..." I started to ask, then tried to get my bearings here. "So, what was that all about back there? Do I know you?"

"Please join me," she said, gesturing at the table.

"Yuki?" I asked, suddenly recognizing her. "What the heck?"

I stood there for a few moments, unconvinced that it really was her. I mean, I knew Yuki could do gaudy pretty well, but this was ridiculous.

"This is all pretty outlandish," I remarked. "You have to admit."

She then looked up at me in that innocent way, and I had to admit to myself that this really was her. No one could look at me in that strangely expectant, completely credulous way.

"I mean," I added, "that outfit. And why are people just ignoring us?"

"Perhaps they do not see the significance that you do," she suggested.

"I'm sorry," I said, "but I was just so surprised."

"By this outfit?" she asked.

"By you," I answered. "How long were you waiting for us?"

"I lured the others to the rendezvous this morning," she answered.

I sat across from her at the table, wondering how I was going to phrase all this.

"No," I said, "I mean... You lured that mob of people?"

She nodded.

"What on Earth did they want with you?" I asked.

"I promised them a chance to witness Suzumiya," she answered.

"So," I asked, "they went there to see Haruhi?"

"That's right," she answered.

Asahina then appeared in the shop and eventually started finding her way to us.

"Why would they...?" I started to ask.

"Miss Nagato," Asahina said, "would you please do something?"

Once again, I was impressed out how confused and clueless Yuki could appear, though she had just admitted to me that this was all her own doing.

"What?" I asked. "Is Haruhi so popular in the future? Is she a celebrity or something?"

Asahina didn't look like she had an answer to that, so I looked at Yuki.

Yuki admitted, "I have encouraged them to think of her as a supernatural being."

"You told people she was a god?" I asked.

"Yes," she said.

"I see," I said.

She explained, "It was necessary, given that her cult had become as powerful as it had in this time plane."

"Jeez," Asahina complained.

Yuki continued, "Without the mitigating influence of my superiors, her cult had unrestricted access to government influence, and could not be fended off in spite of my efforts. I was forced to act as a kind of medium, and to give a satisfactory prophesy to divert their destructive energy."

"And now?" Asahina asked her.

Yuki answered, "Now they have her tangible form again with which to dispute among themselves."

"Too bad she can't understand a word they say," I remarked.

A woman then came by the table and delivered some food to our table, then left.

Yuki continued, "This particular iteration of Haruhi Suzumiya is mature enough to make such decisions."

"You sure of that?" I asked.

She answered, "I would not have arranged this situation, otherwise. In any case, we can better control the forces with which she can influence people in this era."

"That's for sure," Asahina softly commented.

"Please join us," Yuki invited her.

Asahina looked a little reluctant, but after a moment she then sat next to us.

Yuki added, "This is an excellent opportunity for all of us. There is much to study, and the people of this era are more open to observation without preconceived notions than in your era."

I asked, "You don't really care for us primitive twenty-first century types?"

She admitted, "It was amusing, but there is more to life than comedy."

Funny remark, coming from a clown (or, as I later learned, a harlequin).

- x -

I was curious, so I decided to check out Yuki's place. Miss Asahina was busy fending off some weird rumors about herself (I later found out), and Haruhi was already busy working on ways she could transform that weird cult of hers into a more recognizable technology research and development organization. She had this crazy idea that she could make time travel into a commercial venture, but I eventually convinced her to find something a little less ambitious to aim at.

In any case, Yuki seemed like she was living modestly enough, though I was taken aback by all the games. They're hard to describe, but it's probably just as well to say that she had no shortage of space-themed strategy simulations. I also noted a distinct lack of books, though she later assured me that she had plenty.

Actually, the first thing I noticed when I entered her apartment was her cat.

"Sorry to intrude," I said, entering almost immediately behind her.

"Please come in," she said.

"You have a cat?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"Why does this guy look familiar?" I asked, taking a good look at him.

"That is Shamisen," she said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"Okay," I said, realizing how crazy it sounded. "How exactly...?" I just assumed she would tell me that this was a cat that merely looked like him, but no.

"I don't know," she answered. "I have discovered that this cat appears and disappears in different time planes and in different eras at what seem like random intervals."

"I don't suppose he could tell us, himself," I wondered.

After all the weirdness lately, I half expected the cat to actually start talking.

I asked him, "Or were you forbidden to tell us?"

"You tell me," he answered in a surprisingly deep voice. "You were the one who forbade me from speaking."

The cat spoke? I have to admit that it was still shocking. After everything else, I really shouldn't have been, but I found myself speechless.

He then added, "Has any cat told you why he goes where he goes?"

"I don't recall any cat ever speaking," I honestly replied. "Okay, this is a new one."

Yuki remarked, "It appears to be the result of a temporal phenomenon."

"Yeah," I agreed. "I'm guessing that this is because of a future time plane."

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Cats in the future have been known to speak."

"That is true," Yuki admitted (to my further surprise), "but cats are not as forthcoming, in general."

"Oops," he said. "Let's just pretend I didn't say all this."

"Should I be worried for the future?" I asked Yuki, realizing that talking cats was surely a sign of foreboding.

"You should be worried," Shamisen remarked. "Especially about the eleventh time plane."

I was a little torn between wanting to ask about that and wanting to know how this cat could possibly know about anything as bizarre as future time planes. Especially a time plane I just assumed was out of the question. Then again, if there have been nine time planes, why not eleven? Why not fifteen or twenty?

"Bad cat," Yuki scolded him. "Stop creating temporal paradoxes."

"I could leave the two of you alone," I offered, "if you like."

- x -

Yuki then invited me to play a game with her and then to stay with her if I wanted to. It was all kind of predictable. I mean, she did have money, but it wasn't quite the same thing. Even so, it seemed like the easy way to handle this situation (and I hadn't yet grown out of that habit of wanting everything to be easy).

As we later sat at her table, she filled me in on her own experience, including having already spent a lifetime with the me who had emerged in this iteration.

"I see," I said. "So, you're already sick of me?"

She added, "I would prefer to wander the world and get in adventures."

"Oh," I said. "Well, I've been thinking lately that that's a really good idea."

"You have?" she asked.

"Is that strange?" I asked her.

"No," she said, informing me, "The idea was yours to begin with."

"The me from this time plane?" I guessed.

"The you from the original time plane," she said.

"I never...?" I started to ask.

"You were never permitted," she answered.

"Okay," I said, thinking that that was pretty depressing. So, my only adventures were always crazy ones instigated by Haruhi.

Yuki explained, "In the original time plane, my work interfered. In this time plane..."

"I was too much of a romantic, I'm guessing."

"That's right."

"If you want to just pal around with me, that's cool. I don't mind."

I've had a lot of experience doing that. She looked at me for a few moments, then took my hand. She then surprised me by massaging my hand in an expert way.

"Are you seducing me?" I asked.

"Yes," she immediately replied.

"Because it's working," I warned her, "you know?"

"I know," she said.

- x -

So, now I understood my destiny. It was just another one of those things that's only obvious in retrospect, but it was still pleasantly surprising. And Yuki wasn't really altogether different from the way I was used to. I learned how to really fall in love, and I think Miss Asahina had dodged a bullet (in having avoided that kind of future with me). I doubt Asahina could have summoned any real respect for a guy like me.

Nevertheless, I went to visit her, shortly after moving in with Yuki. We began talking about how things were going with Haruhi.

"So, things worked out," I said. "The mob has their returned savior."

"Yeah," she softly answered. "That's just the thing. It created a lot of division. They don't know what to make of it."

"You've gotta be kidding me," I said.

She explained, "Half of her followers were expecting her to take them to some other world. That's not what she's here to do, obviously."

I guessed, "They're going to have to find jobs, now?"

"Jeez," Asahina complained.

I then remarked, "Well, isn't that inconvenient for all of them. I don't suppose we could all go back to just being normal people?"

"You didn't waste any time," she cheerfully observed. "I heard you're already staying with Nagato."

"Why not?" I asked. "I was living with her in my time plane."

Asahina looked down, and it seemed to me that I was being a little too duplicitous.

"Yeah, no," I softly admitted. "I can't just live with her. She really knows me too well. And I can't resist her."

"I can't complain," Asahina said. "I wouldn't want to make the same mistake in two different eras."

"Yeah..."

"Even so..."

"It would have been something."

"I don't want to be poor, though."

Ouch. Well, that was the problem, wasn't it? I really don't mind being poor, thanks to Haruhi. Of course, thanks to that attitude, I have no problem with being suddenly intimate with Yuki, either.

- x -

Speaking of Haruhi, I just knew this story would wrap around to another encounter with her. Something in me said to go to a local art gallery, and I would find her there.

"I figured I might find you here," I said, shortly after spotting her.

"How in the world?" she recoiled in surprise.

"Call it a sixth sense," I answered.

"Yeah, right," she said, very skeptical.

"So," I remarked, "you got what you wanted."

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"Significance," I answered. "Isn't that what you always wanted?"

Yeah. She's only made reference to her presumed significance about a million times. This was every bit as obvious as water being wet. Even so, it seemed from the look on her face that this wasn't really what she wanted. And thus, my question to her.

"I mean," I added, "you've gotta have at least two hundred people who hang on your every word."

"It's really closer to two hundred thousand," she corrected.

"Whoa," I said, trying to picture that.

"It's a little overwhelming, honestly," she admitted. "I didn't seriously expect so much."

"Neither did I," I said.

She softly remarked, "It's not a big following for this time period. Still..."

"You don't sound happy about it," I observed.

"I'm not," she said. "I mean, a few years ago, I would have been overjoyed to have any kind of following, but..."

"What?" I asked.

"They seriously treat me like a god!" she complained. "Me!"

"And?" I asked, wondering why she thought that was a problem.

"Are you kidding me?" she softly scowled. "Come on. Think about it."

"It's too much responsibility?" I guessed.

"It's just too much," she answered. "I can't handle that many people. I can't even wrap my brain around it."

"You've gotta be at least a little flattered," I said.

"You think so?" she asked. "You want all my followers?"

"No, thank you," I immediately replied.

"That's what I thought," she said.

"But, you know," I informed her. "I thought you of all people could handle it."

"You were wrong," she said.

"But..." I started to explain how many times she had exhibited real leadership skill in smaller ways, before.

"I was wrong," she stated. "I just want to..."

"I see," I said. "You just want to be normal."

"Yeah," she agreed.

I offered, "Let me know what I can do, and I'll help."

"Just forget about it," she told me. "I'll deal with it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Make sure you send me some postcards, though. And I want souvenirs, too."

- Fin

- x -

- Extra

- The Politics of Time Travel

At Mikuru's place.

Mikuru: Okay. Here's the thing I don't get. We went back in time and rescued you?

Kyon: That's right.

Mikuru: But, didn't that change the past?

Kyon: Not really. That's how I remember it.

Mikuru: So, how do you explain the first iteration of that event?

Kyon: Does there need to be one?

Haruhi: Maybe he jumped out of the way of the truck, the first time around.

Mikuru: Okay, but then what happened to the you that you rescued?

Kyon: That person is me.

Mikuru: But...

Haruhi: What are you getting at, Mikuru?

Mikuru: What I'm saying is, we basically did the same thing that my original me did, and it didn't cause a time quake?

Haruhi: Should it have?

Kyon: I think you have it figured wrong.

Mikuru: How do you figure it?

Kyon: In my case, I opened a door that was never meant to be closed. I just fulfilled destiny. So, whatever temporal variations might have appeared simply merged back together.

Mikuru: ...

Kyon: Sounds messed up, doesn't it?

Haruhi: Yeah, what you did was stop yourself from what was otherwise destiny. You caused disruption, and that disruption is what you called a time quake.

Mikuru: I think I get it.

- x -

- Gratuitous bits from an imaginary author

Proofreader: There you go. A Kyon even you can relate with.

Author: And you can't?

Proofreader: Kyon #9 is okay, but Kyon #3 is such a whiny douche bag.

Author: So, that's what the hold up was about?

Proofreader: Not exactly...

Author: Let me guess. Someone stole your sweet roll.

Proofreader: I knew you wouldn't be able to resist that meme.

Author: I warned you...

Proofreader: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were right.

Author: But, you know, the whiny temperamental Kyon is really a callback to the canon storyline.

Proofreader: I get that, but why is Kyon so malleable in the first place?

Author: It's the uncertainty of his purpose. That can't help but be connected to who he is as a person.

Proofreader: But what if he doesn't have a purpose?

Author: Isn't that what we just did?

Proofreader: I'm thinking that's more about the psycho killer Kyon, honestly.

Author: (laughing) You're probably right.

Proofreader: But, yeah. The whole incident with the truck was pointless.

Author: Other than its symbolic significance.

Proofreader: Oh, are we doing symbolism now? I thought mocking symbolism was a running gag.

Author: No, that gag ended in Disappearance. I figure that's the real reason it's called Disappearance.

Proofreader: Yes. It was really the comedy that disappeared.

- x -


	46. Don't Stop Me Now

Origins of Haruhi - Nobody's Perfect

- x -

- Foreword

I sometimes forget how happy I was in the time before I met Haruhi Suzumiya. Life was already exciting and fascinating enough without the need for aliens, time travelers, or espers getting involved. Just my education, my early preparations for a career, my initial investigations into the possibility of strange phenomena were enough of a satisfying experience. This volume takes me back into all that, and what you read here is really just my usual commentary on the advent of it all. When Yuki Nagato delivered this to me, she referred to it as the "tennis" chapter of this story, once again stating how this was a transitional world.

Unlike previous volumes, I can really see how this transition was taking place. There wasn't any agreement in how anything worked or even what the purposes of any particular group were. It was all just slightly neatened chaos, cleverly disguised as a kind of advancement or organization. Even Miss Nagato, who had struck me as an oddly centered and aware individual, was still fumbling around in the darkness of theory and guesswork. In fact, there's a kind of arcane science behind the purposes she states that I had never thought to question until this point (where I see Ryoko Asakura offering her own ideas). I had known about factions in her alien community, but I hadn't realized how different those factions were.

This story also prominently features Ryoko Asakura in her recurring role of the sympathetic villain. I wondered whether she would approve of me publishing this, but she's been avoiding me (mainly because I've been working on this). I think if anyone is filled with regret, it's probably her, and I'm starting to get the idea that she would just prefer to put this chapter of her life behind her. It isn't as sordid as you might be thinking, but she does seem a little hopeless and clueless in this story. It also occurs to me that there might be something to this notion I like of her being jealous. Maybe not, but it is tempting to think that way.

I went through this story a few times, and I also discovered that there is no mention whatsoever of Taniguchi. I asked Yuki about that, and she mentioned that his involvement in various incidents was "minimal," and left it at that. It does seem like a curious omission, and that has me wondering just how many variables are in play in these time planes. I asked about that, but I haven't yet received an answer. There's probably way too many, though. That's just the impression I get.

I wonder what you readers think of all this, but I guess the only answer is time. Will any of this endure? I highly doubt it, but it would be interesting to think that it might. This story is just my recounting of the way things can get slowly revealed in time, and I don't just stand around waiting for this information to come to me. I go out there and participate in it, and I suspect that it's a little like that for you readers, too. As a writer, I have a responsibility to lead you into a story that you can feel free to explore for yourself, but I also expect you to think for yourself and to recruit your own imagination at least a little. It's this kind of give-and-take you see in all of us that I think is the true story behind this story.

- x -

- Chapter 1: Don't Stop Me Now

It's a well known saying (of the sixteenth century French poet Mellin de Saint-Gelais) that one is better off regretting one's actions than regretting having not acted. While one might write this off as archaic and arrogant, this does seem to me like good advice; within the context of a school setting, I should hasten to add. For example, you would be better off to regret having failed your homework than to regret having neglected to do your homework.

There was therefore no excuse at all for me having neglected my homework one fine day in the middle of May. I was not only aware of this saying, but I was also aware of the homework assignment, the tasks it required, the time at which it was expected to be completed, and my aptitude for the tasks. I simply refused to do it, and that prompted some scolding from my teacher (a gym teacher at that) as well as some pitying looks from my fellow students.

One particular student even lightly scolded me in a way that almost made me glad to have earned that particular reprimand. I was so charmed by this remark that I almost felt as though she had complimented me. Well, that's just the way she is. Her name? Ryoko Asakura. To this day, I don't think I've ever seen a more amiable, graceful, and attractive young woman. And this is coming from someone who's seen a lot of her less disarming attributes. I think her faults are simply washed out in the glare of her more glorious virtues.

I had enjoyed a few offhand remarks from her over the past month (excluding the time spent during Golden Week, of course), so this particular remark didn't come as a complete surprise. Even so, it did light the fuse of some regret in me, and this was the less tolerable form of regret. That this regret would spur me to seek out some improvement in my studying habits, there could be no doubt. That I would find myself looking around the school grounds for a certain outdoor table after class, I did not expect.

This particular student had invited me to join her, and I could hardly tell her no. I did start to have second thoughts, however, as I eventually made my way to where she had taken a seat in the shade of a nearby tree. She also had a soda in hand, and that gave me another thing to regret having neglected.

"You wanted to talk?" I asked.

"Yes, please," she very nicely replied. "Would you have a seat?"

I sat across from her, admiring even the graceful way she could sit in this crude picnic type seating. If I were a painter, I could scarcely find a more picturesque scene than something like this.

She then continued, "I hope this isn't too forward of me, but I'd like to have you join my club."

"Is this about...?" I started to ask.

She immediately assured me, "I'm not roping you into a study group, if that's what you're worried about."

"Okay," I said, thankful for that.

She added, "That's not to say that you can't come to me about your grades, if you want."

"All right. So, what is this club?"

"Well, for now it's just the two of us, but I think I can convince a few others to join us."

"And what'll we do in this club?"

"It's all very informal. If it must have a name, I guess we could call it the arm wrestling club."

I must confess: I didn't expect her to come up with such a surprisingly coarse name for what was an otherwise unblemished scene of rare beauty and elegance.

"Arm wrestling?" I protested. "Is that supposed to be a joke?"

"Not at all," she very casually replied, smiling. "You want a match with me?"

She then extended her hand across the table in invitation to me, and I sat there a little dumbfounded that she could even consider such a thing.

"No," I eventually responded, "that's okay. I'm pretty confident, but I'm also certain I'd get my ass kicked if I was spotted arm wrestling a girl."

She withdrew her hand and then asked, "You worry about what people think of you?"

I agreed, "I worry about people needlessly provoking violence, yes."

"Well, then," she offered. "How about a more suitable location?"

"Maybe some other time," I answered.

"Oh my," she added, glancing around. "Well, maybe something a bit more pleasant."

"That would be good," I answered, taking a moment to notice where she had been looking. Another student by the name of Tsuruya was approaching very quickly.

"Hey, guys!" she said, immediately sitting at another seat. "What're we doing out here? I thought we were meeting at the tennis courts."

Tsuruya is a very nice, very perky girl with exceptionally long hair. I found it a little odd that she would be involved with the two of us. In particular, when I found out later that she was a member of the second year classes (and Miss Asakura and I were members of the first year classes).

Asakura answered, "The tennis teams have the courts on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We'll meet up there on Mondays and Wednesdays. You know? When the tennis team hits the track."

Today was a Tuesday, so that explained why we were here rather than there, though it didn't explain why Tsuruya was dressed as she was.

"So," she complained, "I got into to my PE outfit for nothing?"

"Sorry about that," Asakura apologized to her.

I then remarked, "I don't think you can arm wrestle on a tennis court."

"Silly..." Asakura muttered.

Tsuruya then asked, "What's he talking about?"

Asakura casually agreed, "Of course, you wouldn't arm wrestle on a tennis court."

"That's right!" Tsuruya explained. "You play tennis on a tennis court."

"So, why...?" I started to ask, suddenly noticing another student appear.

"Hey!" he said. "I'm glad I found you."

This was a guy by the name of Kunikida. We'd been acquainted since middle school. It seemed to me like he was always in my classes, so it wasn't too surprising to see him show up for this.

Nevertheless, I asked, "What's up?"

He answered, "Miss Asakura invited me to join you guys, but I thought..."

"Last minute change of plans," Asakura informed him. "We're meeting up at my place."

"Oh, okay," he said, sitting in the other seat. "Thanks."

She added, "We'll meet here when it isn't raining, but it looks like we're going to have some pretty soon."

"Shouldn't we meet in a club room?" he asked.

"I'm kind of wondering about that, myself," I said.

She replied, "This isn't really a club club. This is just a social thing. I hope you don't mind."

"I don't mind," Tsuruya immediately stated.

"Fine with me," Kunikida added. "I wasn't doing anything. What about you, Kyon?"

I sighed and realized, "I don't think my mother's going to like this."

"Can you believe this guy?" he asked, smirking at me in a knowing way.

"Jeez," Tsuruya complained.

Asakura casually assured me, "It's okay, Kyon. You don't have to join us if you don't want to. Like I said, this is completely voluntary."

At the time, it was a little annoying, but I have to admit that this nickname they like to use for me seems fitting. I've also decided to make this story more fun for you and let you guess what my real name is.

"Arm wrestling club?" I asked, thinking that we should at least give the club (that was not really a club club) a more dignified name.

Tsuruya nicely advised me, "Just tell her you're in the occult club. That's what I tell my dad. He loses interest almost immediately after that."

"Even worse," I muttered, picturing how my mother would immediately take even more interest if I tried that excuse. I then relented, "Okay, fine. But as far as my mother is concerned, I'm doing charity for the school. That's okay with the rest of you?"

"Oh, I like that," Asakura remarked. "Makes it sound like we're doing something worthwhile."

Kunikida then asked, "We won't actually have to do anything like that, though?"

"Of course not," she replied.

"Yeah," Tsuruya explained, "it's just for Kyon. You're such a wet blanket."

- x -

I spend a lot of my free time watching TV or playing games, so it isn't often I get accused of being a wet blanket. Nevertheless, I have to admit that my propensity for thoughtful contemplation is far greater than these other three clowns. It was apparent that this social group was intended strictly for idle conversation, and I was doomed to be an observer and a conduit of this activity. I've begun to think of my very life as such, and it amuses me to think that I was once the kind of person that filled his time with his own conversation. Maybe I've started to run out of things to talk about. Surely not!

That day had indeed begun to start looking threatening in the clouds, and that made our brief transition to the apartment where Miss Asakura lived a more enjoyable experience (in that the clouds gave us soft shadows, the wind gave us a light pat on the head, and the smell of ozone stirred a few memories). Her apartment turned out to be a very tidy affair, though it was clear that she absolutely adored dolls and works of art. I was a little surprised by the oddly well-informed selection of Van Gogh reproductions, and just a little taken aback by various ear-related games that were centered thereabouts. I made an offhand remark about it, and Tsuruya just smiled knowingly while Kunikida made some confused response. The rest of her apartment was decorated in the style of a crude attempt at what one with more haste than taste might imagine of the future. That is to say, it seemed very much like a theme park, and I briefly had the disconcerting notion that the future might actually look like this.

It was obvious that Miss Asakura lived by herself (and that's not altogether unusual), but I did ask about it. I preferred the thought of some childish mother having visited this place with some plague of whimsical neatness. But no. A mere glance at her knowing smirk made me realize that this had all been her own doing. She then offered to requite this disappointment with another challenge to arm wrestle her, and now I was not in a position to decline. In fact, I had this notion that I could make the match interesting by going easy on her. How wrong I was to think that.

Tsuruya and Kunikida watched in amazement as Asakura beat me every single time. The thing I found amazing was that she somehow managed to make even arm wrestling look like an elegant and deceptively easy thing to do. All I could do was bow to a true master of the art.

"Wow," Tsuruya softly remarked. "I've never seen anyone get beat at arm wrestling so badly."

"I didn't think you were serious," I admitted.

"I wasn't," Asakura responded. "You wouldn't have had a chance if I was serious."

I had thought at the time that she was just boasting, but I've since come to appreciate what she meant by that. I just had no idea how alien she was.

"Don't tell him that," Kunikida warned her a little too late.

"Why not?" she wondered.

He explained, "Kyon's always been a sucker for weirdos. The weirder, the better."

"Okay," Tsuruya charged in before I could object, "I'm going to need details. Names and dates. The works."

"No," I was finally permitted to say.

"Oh, come on!" she pleaded, grinning.

"Oh, yes," Asakura insisted. "I'm burning with curiosity, now. Tell us. What's Kyon been up to since middle school?"

"I really shouldn't," Kunikida answered. "I do have lunch with this guy, so..."

"Yes," I said. "I could write a book about a certain guy and his odd quirks."

"Well..." he started to say, no doubt about to point out his many ordinary traits.

"I'm looking forward to reading it," Tsuruya said, then began her characteristic laughter. Tsuruya does tend to laugh for quite a bit longer than you would expect necessary, but then she probably has an imagination to match the boldness of her humor. I was just starting to learn about this, having just met her.

I then informed her, "You're going to have a long wait."

I was already becoming an astute schemer of the literary craft at the time, but it would be many years before I could become interested in writing about myself or anyone near me. It seemed strangely unfair to myself that I might set down in words what I was just beginning to understand. There were also quite a few embarrassing truths about myself that I was just starting to suspect were true, and I had the quaint idea that I could grow out of it in time.

Asakura then asked, "So, you guys have dated a few girls?"

"He's not really the type," I answered.

"Kyon doesn't date," Kunikida added. "He just hits on whatever girl has the weirdest hairstyle."

Here, for example, is one of those truths I had desperately wanted to keep hidden from my potential readership.

"Jeez," Asakura smilingly complained. "Should I really be hanging out with you guys?"

"I've dated a lot of guys," Tsuruya boasted.

"That's good," Asakura said, looking relieved. "At least one of us should have some experience."

"You never dated?" Tsuruya then asked her.

"I really wouldn't know what to do," she replied. "I'm really shy by nature."

From the way Asakura avoided looking at us, it was pretty obvious that she was lying. I just wondered if she was aware of how aware we were.

"Really?" Tsuruya asked in a tone that could not be mistaken for any hint at seriousness.

"Oh, hey," Asakura then suddenly asked. "You guys like games?"

"No offense, Miss Asakura," Kunikida remarked, "but I'm having a hard time believing you never dated at least once throughout middle school."

"I'm with shorty, here," Tsuruya agreed. "I'll bet you're hiding something."

"Shorty?" he softly complained.

"It's true!" Asakura protested. "I think I scare away most guys."

"And what about the good-looking ones?" Tsuruya asked.

Asakura answered, "I don't really like the good-looking ones."

Here, at last, was a heart-felt answer. I hadn't thought it possible for her to be so abrupt or so rude about the matter, but there it was.

Tsuruya added, "I know what you mean. The pretty boys are always so obnoxious or full of themselves or both."

Okay. I know I'm not the most attractive guy in an average room, but they could have phrased all that a little nicer. This conversation was starting to get a little uncomfortable, here.

"Oh, wow," Kunikida said. "Look at Kyon. Should we really be here?"

"I don't mind," Asakura said. "I mean, I invited you guys."

"Yeah," Tsuruya added. "It's no fun if it's just us girls."

"So," I said, looking around, "what games do you have?"

- x -

We were then beset by Kunikida answering his phone. He had a short and cryptic conversation, and then insisted I join him outside. Asakura and Tsuruya continued discussing attractive guys and the things they disliked about them, while I met up with Kunikida in front of the apartment building.

"What was that about?" I asked, as he started to develop a worried look on his face.

"My dad," he answered. "He got wind of this. I think he spies on me. Sorry."

"He won't let you do coed clubs?" I asked.

He laughed and then seriously answered, "Not if we end up meeting in apartments."

"Yeah," I admitted, "that's kind of iffy. I'm surprised I haven't gotten the call myself. Then again, my mother is probably too busy."

"I'll see you later," he said, immediately starting off. "I gotta hurry if I don't want to get chewed out."

"Yeah," I said. "See you later."

He then turned and came back, saying, "Oh, I almost forgot..."

"What?" I asked.

He thought for a moment and answered, "Miss Asakura told me to tell you to meet up with her at the gym after our club meet."

"Okay."

"She mentioned something about another friend of hers. I didn't quite catch it, but it sounded really fishy."

"Are you worried?"

"I'm jealous, okay. It's kind of pissing me off. You better make sure and tell me about it, later."

He then punctuated this odd command by crossing his arms and looking a little severe. That surprised me a little since Kunikida has never seemed severe to me, ever. I was just starting to wonder what this was about, when he continued.

"Because..." he explained. "Well, I know where you live, you know?"

"Don't be like that," I said. "I promise I'll tell you all about it. Sheesh."

"You know what?" he then added. "I don't care. Just go have fun, okay?"

He then left again, and I could only scratch my head and wonder what that was about. "Jealous?" I asked myself. "That's weird."

- x -

At this point, I was very satisfied with how things were turning out for me. I had been wondering how high school would compare to middle school, and I had to admit that things seemed to be turning out okay. My grades were suddenly a problem, but that just meant that things were getting more interesting, academically. My favorite pastimes were getting a bit of a shake up (though trying to picture Miss Asakura naked was still pretty high on that list), and even the routine of going home after class was getting slightly modified with a mystery activity that I soon discovered was more like learning to swim than like boldly venturing forth into unexplored territory. I mean, hanging out with a couple of hotties like Tsuruya and Asakura would definitely have a calming effect on my mind, especially if we were going to be treated twice a week to them playing tennis.

I know how manly tennis is in the Western world, but here in Japan tennis is a very feminine type of thing. I don't know why, but I just can't picture a man doing anything but playing baseball or maybe kendo. I might be persuaded to think of video game tennis as manly, but there's no human being who could play tennis like they do in a video game. Anyway, my point is that my situation couldn't have been any sweeter had I tried to picture it myself. And this just fell into my lap. No surprise then that Kunikida was jealous about this little incident. What else could go right?

On the other hand, I was about to discover that Tsuruya had been a little prophetic in her excuse to her dad, and my life was about to start changing for the surreal. I hadn't seriously thought about why Asakura was able to beat me at arm wrestling so easily, and maybe it's to my credit that I attributed it to my being less physically fit than her. I mean, I really didn't want to lose to her, and it still hurt my pride to admit defeat. Even so, I could take this as a sign that I needed to be more active. I still find myself thinking I could have beat her had I been more active, but that may just be the pride talking.

Later that afternoon, I met up with Asakura at the school gymnasium. I took a moment to notice the basketball team, and how many of them were staring at her.

"Just in time," she said. "You ready?"

"What for?" I asked. "To play basketball?"

"No," she answered. "Come here."

She then led me to the other side of the gym, and I thought it a little odd that she began dribbling a basketball though she had denied wanting to play. There's something strange about a cute girl dribbling a basketball in any case, but then I noticed a shorter girl with glasses who seemed to be ready for kendo practice. She even produced a wooden sword and seemed about ready to use it.

"Okay," I said, wondering what this was about.

She explained, "I convinced the basketball team to give us some room. They're almost done, anyway. This is just some drills they're doing."

"So...?" I started to ask, but that other girl came at me like the wind. She made a quick slashing motion with her sword no more than a couple inches from my face. I'm pretty sure I flinched, too. "What the heck?" I asked.

"This is nothing," Asakura answered. "Pay no attention."

"Am I about to get ambushed?" I asked, suddenly wondering if the basketball team had put them up to this.

"Don't be silly," she replied. "Why would anyone want to ambush you?"

"I guess it's just my usual paranoia," I told myself.

"Okay," she said, "here we go."

She then began eyeing the basketball hoop on this side of the gym while continuing to dribble the ball. The other girl seemed content to watch while leaning her sword on her shoulder.

"Shouldn't we be in...?" I asked, thinking this was going to be a one-on-one match.

Asakura then shot the ball, and she told me, "Just watch."

So, I watched. At first, it just seemed like ordinary shooting. I made a mental note that she seemed as good with her left as her right, but it otherwise looked like anyone else shooting a basketball.

"Am I missing something?" I asked.

"Obviously," she answered, turning to look at me. "Okay. One more time."

She then held the ball out to me like she was offering it and closed her eyes. A moment later, she tossed the ball up. The ball then flew a perfect arc through the air and through the hoop. Nothing but net.

"Okay," I said, "now I'm impressed. How did you do that?"

"I'm not done," she said.

She then glanced at the other girl for a moment, then began shooting again. To my amazement, I saw the ball stop and hover for a moment before it went through the hoop.

"Okay..." I said, trying to puzzle that one out.

"Never mind me," she added. "I'm just showing off at this point."

She then continued shooting the ball, making shot after shot. The ball would speed up, slow down, fly straight back to her hand like a yo-yo... I took a look around, but it seemed to me like I was the only one noticing all these trick shots she was making.

"Why is no one...?" I softly wondered.

- x -

A few minutes later, we went outside. That short girl followed us and seemed like she was inspecting me. She then left without a word.

"You mind explaining what that was about?" I asked.

Asakura answered, "You mean about Nagato? She has these crazy ideas."

"No," I said. "I mean, about the basketball. How in the world did you do that?"

She replied, "It's actually pretty easy if you have the skill, but suffice it to say that I can do a lot more than just that."

"So," I said, "you weren't kidding about not taking me seriously when we were arm wrestling."

"That's right," she casually answered.

"What?" I guessed. "Are you some kind of experimental bionic girl?"

She then somewhat ponderously admitted, "That's not that far from the truth, actually. The fact is, I'm the result of an experiment gone horribly wrong."

"Did you read that in a comic book?" I quipped.

"It's sort of true, actually," she insisted. "I guess if you want the heart of the matter, I'm really an alien."

"An alien?"

"Yes."

"I must be dreaming."

I told myself that, too. I know I'm going to open my eyes and wake up, right? I looked, and I just saw Asakura's smiling face.

"Seriously?" I asked. She nodded, so I suddenly had to know, "Could we talk about this? How much are you allowed to tell me? Am I annoying you?"

"Maybe we should go somewhere," she suggested.

- x -

We then found a nearby coffee shop. It's probably safe to assume that most of the people in the shop had their own problems and were too busy with their own lives to care about anything as weird as a girl who claimed to be an alien. In fact, there were plenty enough people to create a kind of wall of chatter. It's strange, but I felt like this conversation was somehow safer here than even back at her apartment.

"So, what can you tell me?" I asked.

"What do you want to know?" she said.

"Showing off is just a way to kill time?" I wondered. "You were bored?"

"Yeah," she answered. "A little bit."

"Okay," I said, trying to organize my thoughts a little better.

She added, "There's nothing unusual about being bored. It's a perfectly natural state of mind. Even healthy in the right amounts."

"So," I then asked, "there's no real difference between aliens and humans as far as mental states go?"

She answered, "As far as humanoid interfaces like me go, there's no essential difference. We can supplement our information with what you would probably call exotic sources."

I thought about that, but I can't picture it outside of something related to information technology. "Exotic? As in, you can just pull data off a central computer or...?"

She explained, "We have psychic links to each other, and we can receive information that only we can see or interact with. It looks kind of weird, though."

"Weird?" I asked. "How?"

"Okay," she answered. "Well, imagine that there's this cube floating in front of you. Only, it's transparent, and you can only manipulate it with your hand. You stretch out your palm to direct how it moves. How do you think you would look to anyone observing you?"

She held out her hand to illustrate this, and I couldn't get past how silly it looked. I then replied, "Like a mime or something."

"Exactly," she agreed. "It's weird."

"I see," I said. "So, you have a kind of augmented reality that you can command?"

"I suppose you could call it that," she admitted. "Sounds kind of geeky to me."

"Okay," I said, "here's what I don't get."

"Okay," she said.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked. "Is there something special about me?"

"No," she answered. "It's just so that you don't freak out later on when we broach the subject of time travel."

I guessed, "I'm not going to like that, am I?"

She answered, "It usually takes you about a week to stop living in denial about that part."

"Usually?" I asked, probing my memory.

"Don't worry," she assured me. "We're getting a good head start on it, this time."

"Thanks," I said, "I guess." I had a troubling feeling when I began to think that she had been erasing my memory, but that didn't sound right. When had my memory ever vanished? I couldn't think of a time.

"You should be grateful," she said, answering the frown on my face, no doubt. "I could have insisted that Nagato fill you in."

"Is she...?" I wondered, thinking of that shorter girl with the glasses.

"She's a little nuts," Asakura replied, "even by my standards."

- x -

I had some difficulty later that evening convincing myself that I had actually heard Miss Asakura explain all those weird things to me. It was just too much like a comic book. I couldn't get past it. In the end, I just found myself staring at the clock (and thinking that only having five hours of sleep would just make me even more grouchy than usual) and resolving to think of all this as a comic book. It made a lot more sense that way, and actually believing any of it was just going to make my life too complicated. In fact, it did turn out to be about a week later before I could find myself comfortable with accepting it.

Later that day, I noticed Kunikida seemed to be back to his usual cheerful self. I wasn't sure I should ask about it, but I then wondered, "So, you got in trouble?"

"No," he answered, looking up from his lunch. "Actually, it turned out to be unrelated. I'd forgotten, but he had some stuff he wanted me to help him move to his office."

"Oh, okay," I said, a little relieved. "We're still good with the club, right?"

"I don't know," he answered. "I mean, I don't want to get in real trouble."

"I think I can figure something out," I suggested.

He then nodded and asked, "So, what happened yesterday?"

"We shot some hoops," I lied.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"She's actually pretty good at that," I added, hoping he wouldn't think too hard about that incident.

"You didn't encounter the volleyball team?" he asked.

I answered, "It was just the basketball team, and they'd nearly finished."

"Okay," he said.

I then asked, "You don't really want to hear about it, do you?"

"No," he replied. "I was just being difficult to get under your skin. You know?"

So, he really was jealous. That's okay. I hate to feel left out, myself.

He then asked, "What's that girl like, really? She does seem pretty weird to me, now that I think about it."

"How do you figure?" I asked.

He answered, "What's she want with a couple of nobodies like us? I can't figure that out."

"I know what you mean," I said, still very much confused and living in denial about at least two particular revelations.

He then complained, "It wouldn't be a big deal if it were, say, Sekino or Uchida. Maybe even Shibi."

"Who?" I asked.

"You know?" he answered. "That girl with the hair that looks like a porcupine?"

"Oh," I said, immediately picturing her. A very strange girl, indeed.

"My dad wouldn't even notice," he added. "If he even gets some rumor..."

"You better hold me down," I said, a little snide. "I feel the urge to go hit on Miss Shibi."

He looked for a moment like he expected me to do just that, though he couldn't have overlooked the tone of my voice. I guess it just confused him to see me twisting away like this.

"Where did you get that idea, anyway?" I asked, still chafing at the notion. "I do not hit on the weirdos. I'll have you know that the girls I hit on are all perfectly normal."

"If you say so," he casually stated, rolling his eyes.

"Damn it," I muttered, starting to realize.

- x -

What I had figured out before was that we really needed a club room if we were going to plausibly pass for being a club. It only made sense. The thing we needed was to find a room that wasn't in use. Kunikida and I scoured some of the buildings until we ended up just listening for people inside. We would then open the door, apologize, and continue on our way. It was an amusing adventure in itself that took the better part of an hour, till at last we found the literature club room. It seemed awfully quiet, and I felt certain that the room was empty.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"Maybe," I said.

I opened the door and saw that strange Nagato girl. I immediately flashed back to that wooden sword incident, and that made me remember the weird incident with the basketball and everything else.

"Or maybe not," I added.

"Hold on a sec," he said. He then strolled in and said, "Hey!"

The girl looked up from her reading.

"Hello," he said.

"Hello again," I added.

"You've met?" he asked me.

"Sort of," I answered.

He then continued, "My friend and I were looking for a club room. I don't suppose you were busy using this one?"

"Are you studying?" I asked.

She seemed a little unsure how she should respond.

Kunikida then asked, "Is this the literature club?"

She nodded, so I then asked her, "How many people are in this club? Is it just you?"

She again nodded, and Kunikida remarked, "I kind of get the impression that we're intruding."

"So, what are you reading?" I asked. She held up the cover for me to see, and I guessed that it was some kind of science fiction novel. "Is it any good?"

I glanced at Kunikida, and I recognized this expression on his face. He seemed to be pleasantly intimidated by this whole encounter, and I think I recognized that feeling.

"It's interesting," the girl answered.

"Could you tell me what that was about?" I asked her. "I mean, yesterday."

"I was testing," she replied.

"You were testing my reflexes, you mean?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered.

Kunikida then asked her, "Oh, so you know Miss Asakura?"

"Yes," she answered.

He then asked, "Would it be okay if we met here? We wouldn't be bothering you, would we?"

"It's okay," she said.

"She says it's okay," he told me, unnecessarily.

"Are you sure?" I asked her. "We don't want to interrupt or anything."

"It's okay," she said.

- x -

By Monday of the following week, we actually began to hit the tennis courts, though that basically meant that Tsuruya and Kunikida would start hitting around. We all still dressed appropriately and brought rackets and balls. I still wondered if the tennis club would give us any trouble, but then I noticed how Miss Asakura would glance around from time to time. If she spotted someone, she would invariably wave to them. I sometimes saw her chatting with the girls from the tennis club, and it doesn't seem all that odd to me now (though I did wonder about it at the time).

Asakura and I were just hanging around by the fence, watching the other two. I remember feeling oddly relaxed in this type of situation. There's something meditative about watching people hit a ball back and forth with no real purpose behind it. I had been putting it off, but I then decided to inform her of my backup plan.

"The literature club?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "We asked Miss Nagato, and she said it was okay."

Asakura looked strangely nonplussed at that. I had the unsettling thought that she was remembering weird things again.

"Was that wrong?" I asked. "I mean, should I have checked with you, first?"

"No," she answered. "That's fine. After all, we wouldn't want anyone to get in trouble, right?"

"Could I ask you something?" I asked. "What's all this about time travel?"

"You sure you want to jump into it right now?" she asked.

"I really want to know," I said, thinking that it might be easier to accept the idea of time travel than aliens. I felt like I might be able to ease myself into accepting the idea of aliens, if time travel really did exist.

"Well..." she said. "Since you insist, I'll go ahead and start to fill you in."

"All right," I said.

"Have you ever heard of Haruhi Suzumiya?" she asked.

"No," I answered. "Why? Is she a time traveler?"

"No," Asakura replied. "I mean, she does sometimes travel through time, but I don't think she really qualifies as a bona fide time traveler."

"What does that mean?" I asked, becoming confused again.

"I'm not really sure, to be honest," she admitted. "The girl is a bit of a mystery. You see?"

"So..." I realized. "You're about to do research on her?"

Asakura explained, "We need to adjust her fate a little bit. Don't worry. It won't affect us. We just need a new time plane."

"A time plane?" I asked, my thoughts starting to sputter.

She added, "There are numerous time planes, and traveling through time is one of the ways we can create new planes. That's all you need to know, for now."

I then thought about all that and asked, "Isn't that kind of... crazy?"

"No," she very sweetly answered. "Not really. We do it all the time."

So, naturally the time travel part was the relatively freaky part of all this weirdness. I just decided to mentally shelve this mess and sort it out later.

She then added, "It's just... In this case, we need to fix something that got broken a few time planes back."


	47. Now I'm Here

- Chapter 2: Now I'm Here

In what seemed like no time at all, it was suddenly July. I began to wonder where June had gone, and then I became nostalgic. It was a funny feeling, and I eventually recognized that this was a memory of my youth. It was funny because I still identify with being a young man (even today), and it was emotive because this was something I dearly enjoyed. The everyday grind of going through the motions. My motions are decidedly slow ones, but they are motions, nonetheless.

The average school week worked out like this: Monday, I would look forward to watching some tennis-like activity; Tuesday, I would look forward to reading; Wednesday, I would again look forward to watching something like tennis; Thursday, I would start to think seriously about studying (I wouldn't actually begin studying until usually around ten-thirty at night). Friday was like the start of a three-day weekend for me, so I would just go home. If there's a lazier way to spend a week, I can't think of it. Now, when July came around, I found myself thinking that I should seriously start studying for mid-terms, so I decided to attend club even on Friday. I noticed how Asakura also began coming to the club room.

Speaking of Miss Asakura, it began to occur to me that she might actually start to make good on all those explanations she had offered before. I think I was starting to understand in a very symbolic way what she had meant about time planes and about aliens. Aliens I had encountered were really just the product of some alien experiment, and the aliens behind them lurked in the shadows. A time plane was the result of time travel, and it somehow made sense in some two-dimensional way that I was unaware of. As for this Haruhi Suzumiya person, I was pretty certain she was female (I don't think I've ever heard of a man with that name), but that's about all I could figure of her.

I remember briefly flirting with the idea that Asakura had been born from my comic book inspired imagination, but that was simply because her slow elegance and her charm were things that I chiefly recall of heroines from comic books (the few that actually contained serious female characters, that is). I liked the idea though, and it did a lot to explain some of her more exotic qualities, as well. For example, these mysterious memories that she had were of some parallel universe to which she could connect in some psychic way. Or maybe she had been programmed with every potential future possible by her alien superiors, and reality was just the past to her point of view. It never really occurred to me that there might be a connection between time planes and her odd memories.

One particular Friday, I was just starting to realize that I wouldn't be able to study without some dietary assistance, when Asakura joined us. It was rare that she would join us in the club room, and she would always look a little sour while momentarily noticing Yuki Nagato.

"Oh, hello," I said, losing my train of thought.

"Welcome," Kunikida said, taking a moment from his studies.

"Good afternoon," she replied, looking around. "Is Miss Tsuruya not here?"

Kunikida answered, "She went music shopping with some of her 'friends,' she said."

"Music?" she asked.

I added, "There was a big sale, and she didn't want to miss it."

"That's right," he agreed.

Asakura then started to glare at Nagato, asking, "Does she have to do that here?"

Why there was this tension between them, I couldn't say. There was definitely something amiss about Asakura's attitude toward Nagato. The more I learned about Nagato, the more I started to admire her (as an alien, that is).

"It's her club," Kunikida told Asakura. "We're just borrowing it."

"I can leave," Nagato stated.

"No," I told her, "that's okay. You stay."

Asakura then folded her arms and complained, "Oh, Kyon. You always take her side."

"I do?" I asked, wondering what that could mean.

She then brightly stated, "It's such a nice day, though. Can you hear?"

"You like the rain?" Kunikida asked her.

She sat down with us and answered, "It's so soothing, don't you think?"

"Yeah," he said. "I get what you're saying."

She then added, "I guess it's silly of me to expect people to not be reading on a day like today."

And that reminded me. Soda. I needed something to perk me up before I could get any serious studying going on.

"Anyone else want a soda?" I offered.

"Are you going to get some?" Asakura asked.

"Yeah."

"That's okay. Miss Nagato can get them for us."

"I was going, either way."

Kunikida then glanced at me with an oddly quizzical expression. Yes, I was just going to get a soda. I wasn't putting him on the spot to try and resolve something between those other two. It just happened to seem that way.

- x -

And, once my brief studying was done, I began to go home without further ado. I just wanted to get home, but I suddenly found myself being joined by a delightfully beautiful girl with the most disarming look of distress I had ever seen. Now, I know girls sometimes like to practice looking helpless, but this girl had them all beat with an effortless grace that bespoke of world-class champion caliber vulnerability. My only thought at such a display was: So cute!

She thus quickly joined me under my umbrella, asking, "You mind if we share?"

"No, I..." started to say, but I was a little surprised I could say that much.

"Jeez," she complained. "Why is it raining? This never happens."

I then asked her, "So, are you going home? Is this the right way, or...?"

"I'm sorry," she answered very sincerely. "It's this rain. I just wasn't expecting it."

"That's okay," I said, drinking in the sound of her voice. Her delightful voice just added to the impression of cuteness.

"I'm being really rude," she insisted, "and I think this would best be handled somewhere more private."

"Private?" I asked.

She pointed and asked, "Could we go over there?"

I looked around, noticing a small group of convenience stores a couple blocks away. "Oh, sure. That's fine."

- x -

On the way, we introduced ourselves and made some polite small talk. This girl was a second-year high schooler by the name of Mikuru Asahina. She had briefly fretted trying to find me, and she was now overjoyed. She had a need to speak with me, and somehow, this parking lot we ended up at was a good choice for a private conversation. I had to admit, it hadn't occurred to me that there was even a parking lot in this direction, let alone that this might be a good place for a private conversation.

I should point out that I was too stunned by all this suddenly happening to reach my own conclusions on the matter. I had just hoped she wouldn't get there too quickly.

She then complained, "I knew I shouldn't have skipped breakfast, today."

"That's sucks," I sympathized. "How long ago was that?"

She answered, "A few centuries in the future, actually."

"Oh, I see," I realized. "So, you're a time traveler."

"That's right!" she smiled. "You don't seem all that surprised."

"I was warned about you," I added.

"Oh," she said. "Well, that's a little disappointing."

Yes. I could sympathize with that feeling, as well. Somehow, it made a lot of sense, though. A super cute girl like this would never take some ordinary interest in me. It just had to involve something bizarre like aliens or time travel to make any sense.

"You really skipped breakfast?" I asked, having never imagined that people needed to eat in the future. I guess I just assumed people would recharge their bodies in an energy receptacle or something like that.

"Yeah," she answered. "So, you can understand if I'm in a bit of a hurry."

"Okay," I said, "but before we do anything crazy, I was wondering..."

"Yes?" she said. "What is it?"

"What do you know about Haruhi Suzumiya?" I asked.

"That's classified," she answered.

"Really?" I asked. "So, how on Earth...?"

"I have no idea," she replied. "No one ever tells me anything."

So, I was going to find some mystery person in the past (I guessed) and change their destiny a little with some kind of confrontation. And that would somehow create a time plane. How exactly I was going to do that, I had no idea.

"So..." I started to ask.

"Just look over there for a moment..."

"Okay."

- x -

What then happened was something akin to suddenly waking up in a strange place, though I found myself unable to recognize my surroundings. It was mostly just dark, with some fuzzy pillars of light here and there. I had the impression for a moment that I had gone to the distant future.

"What the...?" I said.

"Oh, jeez," Asahina softly complained.

"What?" I said, wondering if I would get an answer, this time.

"I can't believe this," she muttered. "I screwed up again."

Again? Maybe it's just me, but people make a lot of weird, cryptic statements whenever there's time travel involved. I sometimes wish I could stop and think about all this, but then that would probably result in something even worse.

"I'm really sorry," she added.

I looked around, and it seemed like we had come to a park. Now that my eyes adjusted, I could see trees and houses in the distance. Everything suddenly looked very familiar, and I began to wonder if we had actually traveled through time at all.

"Did we just travel through time?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered. "This is three years ago."

"So, it's the year 2000?" I guessed, just to be sure what she meant by that.

"That's right," she replied.

"Are we in the wrong year?" I asked. "When were we supposed to travel to?"

"No..." she nervously answered. "It's not the destination that's wrong it's..."

"What?" I asked, unable to fathom why she was complaining.

She then explained, "I was supposed to make contact with you on July seventh."

"Oh," I said, taking a moment to reflect that that particular day would be the following Monday.

"What day was that, actually?" she asked.

"Sheesh," I said, stopping to think for a moment. "That was July the fourth."

"Oh, jeez," she said. "No wonder it was raining."

"Okay..." I said. "So, should I go back?"

Given all the mystery involved, I began to think that maybe there was a kind of divinity in all this that I shouldn't try to second-guess. It also occurred to me that Miss Asahina very much did not want to just leave and come back for me on Monday. Her expression was filled with trepidation and hope. And there is the fact that I'm a lazy slob. I can't demand more work from others. I mean, that would just make me a hypocrite.

"You know what?" I said. "Let's just do this. It's probably okay, right?"

"Yeah," she answered.

I then asked, "Does it really matter if it was Tanabata when we left?"

"I don't think so," she answered, though she seemed very unsure on that part.

"So, no problem," I said, firmly convinced that this was just fine.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

I then looked around for a few more moments, and I found the nearby road. There was a sidewalk and a row of houses that I had inexplicably avoided noticing the previous time, though I still had no idea where we were. This was a side of some town I didn't recognize. I just assumed we were still in the same town, though I could only guess. So much of Japan is suburban, we really could have been any number of places.

"What are we supposed to do?" I asked. "I assume we bump into Miss Suzumiya, at some point?"

"I think that's the basic idea," she answered. "Yeah."

"Any idea where we're supposed to go?" I then asked.

She pointed one way down the street, saying, "That way."

"Okay," I said, taking a moment to fold my umbrella, then starting off.

- x -

This is what life is all about. Walking with a beautiful girl you barely know in a strange and alien place that is somehow familiar. What could be sweeter than this? And all too soon, it was over. We approached what seemed like a school, and Miss Asahina pointed out that this was the rendezvous point. A middle school? Strange.

We came to the entrance, but there was a slight problem.

"Fenced out," I observed, noting the locked gate.

"So, I see," she remarked.

"Now what?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," she answered. "I think..."

We were then a little startled to notice this girl looking at us, somewhat expectantly. I immediately had the impression that she was a student here, though why she would want to return in the middle of the night was anyone's guess.

"Who the heck are you?" she immediately asked. "Are you lost?"

It was evident that Miss Asahina hadn't noticed, because she jumped a little and nervously looked around.

"Who are you?" I asked the girl.

"I'm Haruhi Suzumiya," she answered. "Who are you?"

"I'm Taro Tsuchida," I said, just spitting out the first name that came to mind.

The girl then looked at me in a weirdly knowing way. Yes, that was lazy of me. I should have at least put some effort into creating a less obviously fake name.

I then explained, "Let's just say that it's not important who I am."

"Why?" she asked, looking at my uniform. "Aren't you a high school student?"

"Yeah," I answered. It would have been silly to try to deny it.

"Why do you have an umbrella?" she then asked.

"In case it rains," I smoothly answered. "Why else?"

She then frowned and demanded, "Well, if you're just going to stand there, you can at least help me out."

"With what?" I asked.

"Getting in. Duh," she answered. "What did you think?"

- x -

The girl turned out to be bossy and obnoxious in a way that I hadn't expected. Normally, I would just ignore a girl like this, but this situation made it impossible to ignore her. Before I had quite realized it, I was helping her commit vandalism in the form of misuse of public property. That is to say, I was using a chalk line marker to write out some kind of large alien message in the grounds of that middle school. The girl stood nearby, yelling corrections at me whenever I would turn the wrong way. I later found out that this was some strange alien language that I was somehow writing in, but I already had a feeling that that was what I was doing.

When we were done with that, the girl and I sat at a nearby set of bleachers (where we had left Miss Asahina to fret and nervously keep watch for any other intruders). It had been exhausting work, trying to make this graffiti look exactly how she had wanted it. It didn't help that she only had what was in her head to guide me.

"So, what is that?" I asked her. "Some kind of alien communication?"

"Yeah," she answered. "How did you know?"

"Just a wild guess," I admitted.

I then remembered that Miss Asakura wanted a slightly different future for this girl, so I reckoned I would give her at least a little acknowledgement. That had to create a new time plane, right?

"And that's some kind of summons?" I asked.

"Yes, it is," she answered.

I then asked, "You realize how much trouble you're going to get into?"

"I think I can handle a few teachers," she answered.

"No..." I said, trying to think of how to explain this. "I mean..."

"What?" she asked.

I then told her, "Suppose you really do summon some aliens. What then?"

"Oh," she answered. "I hadn't really thought about it. Do you think aliens are real?"

"I know it," I replied.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes, really," I insisted.

"How do you know?" she then asked.

I answered, "Because I go to school every day with a couple of them. And they told me that there are others, lurking in the shadows."

"You're joking," she accused.

"Does it look like I'm joking?" I asked.

She then studied my face for a few moments, and I have to admit that I do have this not-so-serious side. I mean, I am an upbeat kind of guy, so it wouldn't be above me to joke with people like this if I thought it was funny. Even so, this situation couldn't be more serious. No telling what the outcome of this was going to be.

The girl then complained, "She doesn't talk much."

"Yeah, she's really shy," I agreed.

"Why is that?" she asked.

I explained, "She's from the distant future. The distant future is much more wholesome, so of course all this stuff you've been doing is a huge shock for her. Plus, we've been talking about aliens, and she has this pathological fear of aliens."

The girl laughed and said, "Now, I know you're just messing with me."

"It's true," I said. "Go ahead and ask her about it."

"Okay," she said. "Hey, you..."

"Yes?" Asahina softly responded.

"What's the future like?" the girl asked. "Do you have spaceships? Can you travel to other planets?"

"That's classified," Asahina replied, somewhat mechanically. "Oh, jeez."

"What about espers or sliders?" the girl asked me. "Are those real?"

"Sliders, yes," I answered. "Espers? Maybe. I haven't seen any yet."

"Oh, so you're a slider?" she asked.

"That's right," I answered. "I'm a slider from three years in the future. We're from another time plane, you see?"

She didn't really seem to understand, but I think it finally started to dawn on me what it might mean to be able to "remember" something like a previous time plane.

I then complained, "You know, you still haven't thanked me for all this."

"What?" she said.

I answered, "Here I am, doing all this weird stuff for you, telling you all these bizarre secrets that I probably wasn't supposed to tell you, and you haven't spoken a single word of thanks."

"So?" she said.

I then asked, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's rude to be so thoughtless?"

"Oh crap!" she interjected. "My mother... I'd better go." The girl then ran off, briefly excusing herself, "Later!"

"I'm starting to regret telling her all that," I muttered.

- x -

After that, we returned to the present. I suddenly found myself standing amidst a group of stray cats in the vacant lot behind Asakura's apartment building. Miss Asahina looked even more tense and nervous now than when we had been confronting the young Haruhi Suzumiya. I asked her about it, and she explained that now she had to go report on all this. She wasn't looking forward to doing that.

I then said, "I was only told that you needed another time plane."

"Even so," she softly informed me, "this could turn out to be a problem."

"Sorry," I said, not really sorry. "I don't suppose I could make it up to you."

"It's not me you have to worry about," she said. "I think Miss Nagato might..."

"She lives right here," I remarked. "You want to find out?"

"That's okay," Asahina quickly declined. "I'm sure it's nothing to be worried about."

"You sure?" I asked her. "It would only take a minute."

"Could you explain it to her for me?" she asked. "I'd really appreciate it."

"Okay," I answered.

"I'm really just following orders," she added. "Sorry."

"Right," I said, still convinced that she was overreacting.

She then stated, "If this works out, I'm sure we'll see each other again. Won't that be great?"

"Yeah," I said.

- x -

With that settled, I thought for a moment and went to Ryoko Asakura's apartment. I hadn't bothered asking where Nagato lived. It would only take a moment to ask, but of course Asakura invited me in and insisted that I have tea with her.

"Sorry to bother you," I started.

"That's quite all right," she answered.

"I was just wondering where Miss Nagato lives," I explained.

"Why did you want to know that?" she asked.

I replied, "Well, it's about this time traveler..."

"Oh, you mean Mikuru Asahina?" she guessed.

"Yeah," I answered. "She told me to go explain a few things to Miss Nagato."

"I see," she said. "Well, I can convey that information."

"Could you?" I asked. "I didn't want to waste your time with trivial things like this."

"Trivial?" she said, looking very surprised.

"Well, yeah," I answered. "I mean, you just delegate responsibility, and Miss Nagato is the one who handles that sort of task? I'm just guessing, obviously."

"Oh!" she said, grinning at my blunder. "You think that she's my subordinate? How amusing!"

"I just assumed," I explained. "After all, you have been making a lot of patronizing remarks about her, giving her orders, disregarding things that she does..."

She laughed for a few moments and then stated, "Well, of course. It's only natural that I do all that. But, technically, I'm really her subordinate. It's my job to handle emergency information."

"You're her subordinate?"

"I know. It's baffling, isn't it?"

Here again was this unexpectedly coarse side of Asakura. I don't think I could imagine the arrogance it took for her to assume that I was agreeing with her rather than expressing disapproval. I checked my memory, and I was certain that my tone had been disapproving, so... I then just dismissed that thought. Not a pleasant one at all, so it couldn't have been right.

Asakura then conceded, "She does have a way with words, though."

"Is it really okay?" I asked.

"Nagato inevitably finds out," she answered. "It's just a matter of time, really."

"You can't hide anything from her?" I asked, starting to feel really terrible for Miss Nagato.

"I've tried," Asakura answered, "but she somehow always knows when I'm lying to her."

- x -

The weekend went by in its usual way (with me suddenly realizing that I had to go to school, Monday morning). It was a holiday, so why couldn't we just skip? Then again, it's not like I would actually observe Tanabata, so...

Nevertheless, I felt as though I had endured this painful ritual (of going to school in spite of it being a nice sunny Monday) with enough aplomb that I really deserved to go treat myself. I therefore skipped the usual meeting at the tennis courts to go check out one of the newer snack shops that had been the buzz of the school. I stood in line for about ten minutes before I then decided to just walk in some random direction.

I wasn't really thinking about what I was doing. I was just in a daze. I then suddenly realized that I was standing in the field of that middle school I had gone to on Friday with Asahina. I was still in my PE outfit, too (I think that part shocked me the most). Just as I was about to come to my senses and leave, I got a phone call from my mother. She was unexpectedly observing the Tanabata holiday, and she eventually got around to asking me whether I would be participating in that. It was going to be later that evening, so I went ahead and agreed to it. I liked the idea.

I then looked around and hung up my phone, suddenly noticing a young woman walking toward me.

"Hey!" she called out.

"Oops," I said, realizing too late what was happening here.

I didn't recognize her right away. I was just momentarily stunned by how beautiful this girl was. I mean, here was this girl about my age with a classic but stunning face. She was nice and curvy in all the right places, too.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded, and I immediately realized that this was Haruhi Suzumiya. I hadn't recognized her because I had still been thinking of her as some skinny little brat.

"I could ask you the same thing," I shot back.

She then asked, "You know how it looks for a high school student to be lurking around at a middle school?"

"What makes you think I'm a high school student?" I asked.

She seemed about to respond, but then she stopped herself and took a good look at me. I'm a little taller than her (by about five inches), so you could understand her thinking that I was a high school student.

"Anyway," I said, looking at her uniform, "you're the one who's obviously trespassing here. And, as it so happens, I'm in a generous mood. So, how about we keep this our little secret?"

"You've got a lot of guts," she admitted. "I'll give you that."

"So?" I asked. "Are you going to report me?"

"Don't be stupid," she softly replied. "I'd only get myself in trouble."

I kind of had the feeling that she had been drawn here the same way I was: by some kind of inexplicable curiosity. I tried to think of a way to describe it, but it just seemed like something you can't describe with words.

"You haven't answered my question," she complained. "What are you doing here?"

"Since you're here," I answered, "I figure that means you know the significance of this day."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"Oh, come on," I answered. "You know what I mean. This is the day you wrote that alien message on this very field."

She looked away, and I could see that she had this really cute pony tail. I think she was suddenly confronting this inexplicable feeling, as well.

"I mean," I added, "you can't exactly expect aliens to have a number listed in the phone book. Am I right?"

"How did you figure that out?" she then asked.

"I know, right?" I said. "Everyone I talk to about it said that it was some kind graffiti or that you were trying to summon a demon or something even crazier." Everyone, meaning Kunikida and a few other guys in my class.

"Are you the one who's been stalking me?" she asked.

"What?" I said. "You must be paranoid."

"I'm serious," she insisted. "There's someone constantly watching me. I can feel it."

I laughed and remarked, "That's crazy."

Well, this was getting me nowhere, so I decided to go.

"Hey! Hold on!" she demanded. "Where are you going?"

I tried to walk faster, but that just made her hurry, as well.

- x -

I had walked about a mile before I noticed how I wasn't going to slip away or somehow shame this girl into letting me go. In fact, the more time passed, the closer she continued to follow. I finally just gave up and entered a small restaurant. I'd passed by this place a few times, but I'd never tried the food here. I had heard about it, though. It had a very good reputation, so I thought I'd check it out.

I went to a table, and Miss Suzumiya sat across from me.

"You don't give up, do you?" I asked.

"Are you kidding me?" she said. "We're not done talking."

"If you say so," I casually allowed.

"I do," she firmly stated.

"So," I started, "what did you want to talk about?"

"Aliens," she answered. "Duh. I want to know how you know what you know. I never told anyone about that."

"So?" I asked.

"So," she decided, "it must mean that you're an alien."

"Ridiculous," I softly commented. "I could merely be a time traveling slider or an esper."

"Then which one are you?" she asked.

"I'm just an ordinary nobody," I answered. "Nothing special about me. I do, however, have some very interesting friends."

"You have friends that are aliens?" she asked.

"Casual acquaintances," I replied. "I don't think I could really call them friends."

Just at that moment, a young man came to our table.

"Hello," he said.

"Hello," I answered, wondering who this was.

"Sit down," Suzumiya told him. "We were just getting to the good part."

"Are you two boyfriend and girlfriend?" I asked, guessing that she had been in contact with him via phone while stalking me.

The guy laughed and looked very awkward about this.

"Don't change the subject," she told me.

I answered, "What I meant is that maybe you'd like to let your boyfriend know that he's going out with an alien hunter. He might have something to say about you destroying his reputation."

"Well," he said, "thanks for the consideration, but I'll be the judge of what's good for my reputation. And, for the record, we aren't really going out."

"Really?" I asked. "Sorry."

"That's quite all right," he said, very obliging.

This looked like news to Suzumiya, though I'm not sure whether she was more annoyed by him or me.

He then stated, "The name is Itsuki Koizumi, by the way."

"I already told him," she lied.

"You did?" he asked.

She then continued, "The thing I can't figure out is how he knows about a certain event that I never told anyone."

"He must be a time traveler, then," the guy immediately reasoned.

"Why is that?" she asked.

"Just a guess, really," he added.

I then asked them, "How about we have something to eat, first?"

"Sounds good to me," he said.

"Fine," she said, frowning and folding her arms.

- x -

Koizumi turned out to be a good conversationalist, and we spent a lot of the time during this meal talking about Miss Suzumiya's less appreciated traits (in the form of little anecdotes), and this just made me wonder whether he really wasn't her boyfriend. He was certainly handsome enough that I don't think anyone would think it odd that he was dating such a beautiful girl.

When we left the restaurant, I was surprised that Suzumiya continued to follow, so I eventually went to a soda vending machine. I asked her for some change, naturally.

"What?" I answered her frown. "I'm still a little thirsty."

"You'd better not be wasting my time," she warned, handing me some coins.

"Koizumi?" I asked. "You want one?"

He smiled warmly and answered, "Thanks, but I'm good."

"You sure?" I asked, and he nodded. "Oh, well..."

I then got myself a drink and began to open it.

Suzumiya remarked, "You're doing a good job of milking this situation."

I then stated, "You should be more concerned about my situation. I mean, it's not every day that you travel through time."

"So, you're a time traveler," she observed.

I began walking again, and it was such a nice day that I couldn't help but want to open up about things. This situation wasn't right, though. I began to realize that it wouldn't be a good thing for her to know everything. Something just told me that that would be a huge mistake.

"Not by trade or avocation," I answered. "I have had a particular incident, and it included a certain girl who suddenly had to run home to her mother. It left me feeling like things hadn't really concluded."

"Interesting," Koizumi said. "So, you did time travel?"

I answered, "To precisely three years in the past. Yes."

"I see," he said.

"Why don't I remember you, then?" Suzumiya asked.

"I've been puzzling over that," I answered. "It must really be that time planes are like completely different worlds."

"Time planes?" Koizumi asked.

I explained, "I was told that I was sent to create a time plane that gave Miss Suzumiya a slightly different fate."

"How would it do that?" he asked.

"Well, think about it," I answered. "That was a pretty pivotal moment, wouldn't you say?"

"I'm not sure I follow," he prompted (probably for Suzumiya's benefit).

I explained, "Let me see if I can simplify it. Suppose you threw a rock through someone's window. What would be the effect of someone helping you do that versus you just doing that all by yourself?"

"I see what you mean," he said. "Interesting."

She then pointed out, "You still haven't told me who these aliens are."

"It's probably better if I don't," I confessed.

"Why is that?" she asked.

I replied, "I have the feeling that they're studying you. If you were to become aware of who it was that was studying you, it would probably change their results."

"You have the feeling?" Koizumi asked. "They didn't tell you?"

"They hinted around at it," I added. "There were also clues in what the time traveler told me."

"Isn't that interesting?" he asked.

"Yes, it is," she said.


	48. You're My Best Friend

- Chapter 3: You're My Best Friend

The holiday and the season were soon coming to a close, and it was very soon approaching summer. It seemed looming at the time, but it occurs to me now that there was nothing significant at all about it. What was significant was that I had requited myself young Haruhi Suzumiya's earlier imposition, and that was a very satisfying feeling. Never mind that this Suzumiya was really just a scapegoat. It was the principle of the matter. I was immersed in the situation. You can't plainly describe such things with mere words.

It was as though I had begun to play tennis with her from the very beginning. She served up a surprise alien and a time traveler, and I returned that surprising serve with ease (thanks to warnings from said alien). I then served up this information to her, which she easily returned for her own winners. She then discovered me and served up an interrogation, which I just managed to return to my own advantage. A close call, but I figured the score was two-one for me. It bothered me a bit that no one could hold serve, but then my serve is pretty weak in actual tennis (so no surprise about that).

Suffice it to say that I felt like things were gradually building toward something, but I had no idea what. Suzumiya definitely plays for keeps, though it seemed clear that she wasn't completely serious. Or rather, I thought that there was no way she could have been completely serious. That possibility wasn't even on my radar. Serious? About aliens and time travelers? Really? It was unfathomable.

I did sense in her this strange feeling. Her words and gestures and even her very face seem to express this limitless excitability and hunger for action. With the younger Suzumiya, it was easy to overlook, considering that she was young (and aren't all kids like that?). This Suzumiya was three years older, so she had to have mellowed out a little bit. The fact that she hadn't mellowed out convinced me that this was just her way. I didn't fully realize it, but I had suddenly made her obsessed. I probably didn't notice because I was still dazzled by her beauty. I'll say it again: her beauty is like classic beauty. Like one of those old Greek statues. That kind of beauty. It's not easy to describe.

I just assumed she would wait a week or two, first. But no. The very next day, I got a call from her, and she briefly commanded me to meet her in front of the train station. It was a departure from the norm, so I took my bike and waited a couple minutes until she appeared. I smiled and went to go greet her.

"Have a nice trip?"

She scowled at me and seemed about to impart something harsh, but then stopped herself in a curious way.

"Didn't bring your boyfriend?" I then asked.

"'We aren't really going out,'" she reminded me. "Weren't you listening?"

"So, what's up with that guy?" I asked.

"He's great, isn't he?" she asked.

"He is?" I said, pondering that for a moment.

"Don't tell me you're jealous," she said, sneering a little.

"Hey," I reminded her, "you're the one who called me."

"I know," she said, sighing deeply. "I haven't been able to sleep right since we spoke. It's really agitating."

"Really?" I asked. "What do you have to be upset about?"

She glared at me for a moment, then asked, "Aside from unspecified beings 'studying' me, you mean?"

"Huh..." I said, picturing her for a moment in bed, trembling in fear with the covers pulled up to her chin, her eyes darting back and forth...

She then complained, "You have this attitude on top of all that."

"Yeah," I answered. "Well, let's just say that you're going to owe me, and I'm collecting in advance."

"Why do I owe you anything?" she asked. "You don't even know me."

I remarked, "That's the funny thing about time travel. Cause and effect get a little mixed up."

"I'm not buying all this," she said, "and if you think you can just ignore me..."

Me? Ignore her? Now, that was funny.

She then threatened, "I have the whole summer to figure this out, you know?"

- x -

Suzumiya continued pestering me until she frowned and informed me that she 'had to go.' I don't know. She really seemed like she should have been grateful. It wasn't like I was keeping her completely in the dark. Her world really was more interesting than she had appreciated. Why the big rush to try to find out everything? Then again, that's her idea of modesty. All she wants is absolutely everything.

I was already out of the house, so I decided to go pay Miss Asakura a visit. She had again avoided the club room, so I was feeling a little deprived of her warm smile and graceful manner. I was a little surprised to see Miss Nagato greet me at the door, though.

"Oh, hello," I said. "Miss Nagato?"

"Please enter," she said, immediately navigating toward the dining room.

"Okay," I answered.

I sat across from her, as she prepared us some tea.

"You like to visit Miss Asakura?" I asked.

She answered, "The presentation of a habitation is a necessary component in my observations."

If you imagined that she had spoken this in a very monotone voice that was strongly reminiscent of the way you might picture an android, then you have pictured her correctly. This is the tone she somehow uses all the time. It's fascinating that she uses this tone in casual conversation, and no wonder that her general rule for speech is to keep as terse as possible.

"So, is Miss Asahina in trouble?" I asked. "You found out about what happened?"

She took a moment to consider her tea, looked up at me and answered, "Mikuru Asahina presented us with a discontinuity that will complicate attempts at synchronization, should such efforts prove to be necessary."

"I see," I said, wondering what all that gibberish meant. It sounded ominous, so I remarked, "That's why she was freaking out about having encountered me too soon."

Nagato added, "Her objectives were intended to permit me to relay data, and the effect of that data being omitted is currently unknown."

I began to drink my tea, to see if that would help me understand. Nope. Still no idea what she was talking about there.

Nagato then surprised me, "You have initiated contact with Haruhi Suzumiya."

"I did?" I asked, surprised that I understood her, finally.

She added, "Contact was anticipated. However, the resulting data patterns have become unstable. Your influence has caused shifts in our operational priorities."

"I don't get it," I complained. "What exactly are you studying?"

"Genetic mutations."

"Genetic mutations?"

"Yes."

Okay. Wouldn't you need more than one generation? Preferably at least three, given how genetics works? It was baffling. I sat there trying to fathom it, but maybe this was just a small part of a larger project. I mean, anyone studying genetics would have to examine the effects of mutations over the course of at least forty or fifty generations. Obviously, it made no sense at all to just study one person.

She then explained, "The evolution of your species depends on the specific patterns of genetic mutations. We believe that Haruhi Suzumiya is the key to the potential discovery of an absolute evolutionary path."

"Really?" I asked, a little shocked that I had guessed exactly where she was going with this notion, and a little more shocked that she didn't seem to notice the inherent flaw in this position.

"There is no ulterior motive," she stated. "The aim of the Data Integration Thought Entity is simply to find a path beyond the currently understood bounds of evolution."

"And this entity is...?" I started to ask.

She answered, "I am a humanoid interface. The Data Integration Thought Entity has transcended beyond what you perceive as the natural world. My function is to observe on behalf of this entity."

Bounds of evolution? Absolute evolutionary path? And Suzumiya is the "key" to all that? Right. This sounded crazier than those pamphlets you sometimes get from a cult that's into science and technology.

"I'm sorry," I confessed, "but none of this makes any sense."

"Is this input unclear?" she asked.

I then asked, "How exactly does studying Miss Suzumiya give you any insight into evolutionary patterns?"

She explained, "Haruhi Suzumiya can transform her will into data. Such ability represents an opportunity toward our goals."

Assuming this was true and that their goals were possible, it would indeed do that. "Okay," I then asked, "so why don't you just ask her how it works?"

Nagato answered, "She is currently unaware of her abilities. We believe that if she were made aware, the likely outcome would be a disaster."

"So, you simply don't trust her," I deduced.

"No," Nagato agreed.

It was still crazy, but there was a thin skin of sense to it. I decided to just go along with it. Maybe if I gave it some time and looked at it from a number of different angles, I would figure out what she was really telling me.

"You trust me?" I asked.

She answered, "This data will assist you in making critical determinations regarding the aberrant data you may be forced to confront."

"I see," I said. "You want me to trust you?" In lieu of whatever this aberrant data was, that is.

"That is correct," she replied. "We will place that decision in your hands. However, you may find that your continued existence will depend on how well you comprehend what has been conveyed to you."

"I may find that?" I asked.

She then stated, "The probability is roughly forty-five percent."

I think my continued existence was a fairly important thing. Just my opinion on the matter, mind you.

- x -

Needless to say, this was all very disconcerting. I cast it from my mind and decided to just think about my upcoming tests and the eventual onset of summer break. Seeing Asakura again in class helped out quite a bit in that respect. What can I say? She sits right behind me in class, and that charming smile of hers is a winner in my book. The fact that she's just a little arrogant on top of that just makes her all the more endearing. It's kind of like having a beauty mark, but this is one of those spots you can't cover with makeup.

Later on, we hit the tennis courts again, though that meant that Tsuruya and Kunikida were hitting around again. I didn't mind. It gave me an excuse to chat with Asakura.

"You ready for the summer?" I asked.

"Are you?" she asked me.

I answered, "I'm pretty sure we're going to be hassled by Miss Suzumiya."

"You think so?" she asked.

"Let me ask you something," I said.

"Shoot."

"You know much about human history?"

She took a moment to consider that. It was something right out of the blue, admittedly. I wasn't sure, but she seemed to be a good source of information on anything else I had been wondering about.

About four heartbeats later, she answered, "I know everything, but then there's really not much to know."

"I've been puzzling over this evolution thing," I explained.

She smiled and remarked, "I like some of your previous speculations. Those were good."

"Previous?" I wondered.

She answered, "You were once convinced, for example, that we were building a race of superior beings on some hypothetical planet. That one was probably the closest to the truth on the matter."

Probably? She didn't know? "You have a different idea?" I asked.

She frowned in a nice way and replied, "My superiors like to overlook the value of culture and the slow progress of the collective unconscious."

"Oh, the Jungian thing?" I recognized.

"Yes," she answered. "It's amusing, but even your historians will detail its effects and then overlook it completely. Humanity is so abominably stupid, sometimes."

Here again, she was looking down on the whole human race, but she had said this so quaintly that I didn't feel even slightly offended. And even had I been inclined to feel offended, I then suddenly remembered the many times I had chided the human race in my youth. Once again, I'm not a hypocrite, am I?

"But you can relate, right?" she asked.

"How do you figure?" I wondered, assuming that this was about something esoteric (and not that she was calling me stupid).

"This is right up your alley," she answered. "I mean, your personality, more than anyone else's I've ever seen is hysterical with itself. That's pretty incredible."

"That's not true," I objected. "I'm a pretty upbeat kind of guy."

"Yes," she said, sarcastically remarking, "And Genghis Khan had an active, outdoor lifestyle."

"What exactly is it that I relate to?" I asked.

"The past," she answered. "You know? Fifteen hundred years ago. That was a pretty dark time in human history. Why do you think that is?"

I stated, "The fall of ancient civilizations combined with the movement of hostile forces."

"Those are symptoms," she said. "The 'darkness' of the times was really in the mind of man itself. To put it simply: humanity was terrified of itself."

"You think so?" I asked.

"How else do you explain it?" she asked. "Those 'hostile forces' were moving against something. What was it they were hostile with?"

"Well..." I started to explain about that, but she almost seemed to be reading my mind, now.

"The ugliness of the conditions," she answered, "the resentment provoked by terrible leaders, the prospect of war and enslavement at every turn. It was a very vexing age."

Hysterical with oneself? That didn't sound right. I then complained, "I don't think I can relate to any of that."

"You can't?" she asked, then answered herself, "No. Of course, you can. You see the remnants of that spirit even in modern society. That's a pretty powerful sympathetic ability. Even when presented with the distant future, you continue to see the potential for explosive failures. This is the subject that most concerns us."

"Explosive failures?" I asked, wondering just how dark this conversation could get.

She then admitted, "I suppose the word disaster would be better. The failure of man to appreciate the gifts of the gods. Or to heed the warnings of their ancestors. Which one do you prefer?"

I then smiled and stated, "I would prefer to know what any of this has to do with evolution."

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked. "Without massive failure, the shared unconscious will never provoke a fear of failure. The evolution of culture would remain at a plateau."

I guessed, "And Haruhi Suzumiya represents the potential for this massive failure?"

"Exactly," she replied. "You see? But you know, my superiors are just too thick-headed to realize all this. I need you to explain it to them."

The only thing I understood from all this was that Miss Asakura didn't really know what was going on. Her job kept her in the dark about what was truly going on, but then, that was probably true for Miss Nagato. I had a moment to wonder why all this secrecy, but then it occurred to me that maybe even this "data entity" didn't really understand, either. They were still studying Suzumiya, after all.

I then guessed, "Maybe your superiors are keeping an open mind."

"I highly doubt it," she said, sounding very dark there.

- x -

Whatever the dangers, I was feeling youthful, and I understand that I was afflicted with delusions of invulnerability. So you can understand how I was feeling pretty upbeat despite all this confusing nonsense. My mind was still buzzing from having encountered so many pleasant-looking young women, I think. It's this sort of intoxication that makes one vulnerable. Thankfully, there were people looking out for me, as the following anecdote illustrates:

As I came home, I was approached by this strange young man. Koizumi had impressed upon me his ability to convey politeness and style, and now I had a chance to notice some of his impressive features. He was tall (taller than me by a few inches) and he gave this impression of being an older brother, though I sometimes liked to attribute that stance of authority to myself. His gestures and manner made it clear to me that his experience could win out over mine on any given day. Or at least, that was just the impression I got from a glance.

"Can this wait?" I asked. "I'm not in the mood." Too good a mood for whatever nonsense he wanted to inflict on me, that is.

"Hello," he answered. "Nice to see you, too."

I sighed and said, "That didn't come out right. Nice to see you again."

"I apologize," he added. "Maybe we didn't start out on the right foot."

His way of being deferential and strangely affable was a little bizarre, though I admit he seemed sincere enough at the time. I just find it a strange quality to find in a man, and it seems suspicious to my chauvinistic expectations. I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with being a little chauvinistic, and Koizumi did eventually disabuse me of this notion of him being too effeminate. Still, I wondered briefly if he was wearing makeup, and it wouldn't surprise me if he does, sometimes.

"If you have truly pressing matters," he offered, "I can come back some other time."

"Actually," I answered, "I don't."

"That's good," he said, looking behind himself briefly, "because I honestly don't think this can wait."

Just then a taxi pulled up, and he opened the most immediate door.

"Isn't that convenient?" I asked, wondering what this was about.

"Yes, it is," he answered.

- x -

As we were riding in the taxi, I noticed that we were taking a highway to another side of town. It seemed like a good time to clear the air on a few things.

"So, this is revenge, right?" I asked.

"Excuse me?" he said.

I explained, "You're jealous because I was speaking to your girlfriend. I know. It wouldn't be the first time I've been ganged-up on."

He smiled and answered, "You very much have the wrong impression of me."

"Do I?" I wondered. "Am I not in a life-threatening situation, then?"

"Well," he said, pausing in thought, "let's not jump to conclusions."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

He answered, "I mean that I'm on my way to work."

"I see," I said. "So, this is 'take a complete stranger to work' day?"

"Not at all," he answered, very cheerful. "This is just an average, ordinary day. My work, however... Well, it's rather unique."

"In what way?"

"I'll hold onto that information for now. Let's just say that you'll find it extremely enlightening."

"Okay."

"Oh, and welcome to the organization."

I almost didn't notice that addition, but then I realized and said, "Say what?"

- x -

We were then dropped off at a coffee shop, and we stopped in there to await further instructions. I didn't know it at the time, but this was also a kind of point of penetration. I've been told that this sort of thing happens all the time, but that might just be Koizumi bragging about how interesting his life is. He has this inexplicable need to do that every now and then.

As we waited, sipping on our coffee, I noticed this young man wearing glasses and dressed very professionally. He seemed like the male version of Miss Nagato, and I briefly wondered whether he was an alien. He noticed us and immediately approached as if he knew both of us.

"Oh, hello," Koizumi greeted him, looking very surprised. "I didn't expect..."

"May I?" the young man added.

"Please," Koizumi said, gesturing earnestly.

The man sat at our table, immediately stating, "I'm sorry, but we need to keep the chit-chat short."

"Of course," Koizumi answered.

For the sake of being polite to you readers, I'll go ahead and introduce this young man. This is Shigeru Kida, age seventeen. When not studying at school and preparing to get into college, he also manages and leads (in a manner of speaking) the organization to which Koizumi is a member.

"Welcome aboard," he said. "I hope you don't mind. It's just that we find ourselves in need of your special abilities."

"Special abilities?" I asked.

He answered, "The work my comrades and I do is very difficult. Not to mention, extremely dangerous. You have some experience in this area?"

"Not recently, no," I answered, thankful to not have to put up with that sort of thing quite as often as when I was younger.

"No need to be modest," he said. "I've done a very thorough background check on you. Would it surprise you to know that you were given high marks by an old friend of mine? This friend of mine was an officer in the SDF for quite a number of years."

"I think I know who you mean," I said, thinking of a certain old man who would probably kill me if I mentioned his name.

"That's good," Kida said. "I won't need to waste a lot of time, then."

"Even so," I insisted, "there's nothing special about my abilities. I seem to recall a professional counselor strongly advising me to avoid stressful situations, in fact. He made a point of warning me that it could become highly problematic."

"Have you explained...?" Kida asked Koizumi.

"I guess I should have," he answered.

Kida then informed me, "The short version, then. I've come into some information from a certain TFEI, and it was very encouraging. Despite what you may have been warned, you are very capable. Your genetic tendency to PTSD has been duly noted, but I can assure you that it shouldn't come to that."

"TFEI?" I wondered, noting how this jargon almost slipped past me in that flurry of hastily-delivered information.

"Oh, excuse me," he said. "This is what I prefer to call these 'aliens' you have encountered."

"You know about them?" I asked, a little surprised.

"We have an understanding," he quickly explained.

- x -

We then left the coffee shop and took an elevator to the roof of a nearby building. I was little uncomfortable with having to hold Koizumi's hand toward the end of that ascent, but I have to admit that the end result was worth it. When we arrived on the roof, not only did we have an impressive view of the surrounding city, but everything was a kind of gray color. In particular, the sky was very gray, and I had this sense that I could fall into that sky at any moment.

Koizumi remarked, "You have to admit that words don't really do it justice."

"It is impressive," I admitted.

"Yes," Kida added. "After having experienced once of these, even heartbreak might seem trivial in comparison."

"Not that I would know anything about that," I muttered.

"Well," he said, "let's just focus on this job."

Koizumi added, "I agree. So, where do you think it is?"

"Can you sense it?" Kida asked him.

"A little bit," he said, "but I can't really..."

"What are you talking about?" I asked them.

Kida remarked, "It'll be a giant, I think."

"Definitely," Koizumi casually agreed.

"Probably the biggest one, yet."

"At least twenty meters, I would guess."

"More than that."

I then asked, "Could I join the conversation, here?"

"Sorry about that," Koizumi answered. "It's just impossible to not talk shop in these situations."

"We are being rude, though," Kida admitted.

"Yes, quite," Koizumi agreed.

"Okay, well..." Kida started to explain. "You see, this is a kind of alternate space outside the normal realm of what we think of as matter."

Koizumi then stated, "This is an area between dimensions. A kind of closed space."

"Between dimensions?" Kida asked him, sounding skeptical.

"If you'll humor me..." Koizumi offered.

"You and your weird ideas," Kida muttered.

Koizumi explained, "I think these closed spaces are created by Miss Suzumiya. I think of it as a kind of stress relief. I mean, she can't take out all this aggression on the real world, can she?"

"I think you're getting ahead of yourself," Kida remarked.

"Oh, yes," Koizumi said. "Of course."

Kida added, "We should explain first that Haruhi Suzumiya is a being unlike any you've encountered."

"That's for sure," I said, thinking of her rather unique personality.

"Yes..." Kida said, adding, "Well, she also happens to be a deity, and this world is akin to a dream that she's having."

Okay. All this talk of evolution and the collective unconscious was just a slight warm up to this talk of Suzumiya being a god. This explanation makes the others seem sane and rational in comparison.

Kida then added, "I can see that you're skeptical. That's okay. My comrade here is very sympathetic with you."

I mentioned, "Miss Nagato said that she can transform her will into data."

"Correct," Kida said. "What she probably neglected to tell you is that her 'data entity' superiors are quite capable of merely observing Miss Suzumiya without any need for a 'humanoid interface.'"

"And?" I prompted.

"Oh, come now," he said, sounding just a little impatient. "You can't be this naive. Surely, you realize what that means."

"Hmm..." I said, wondering what his angle was.

"Obviously," he answered himself, "they are meant to provoke a reaction through their interactions with her. In that way, they create the kind of 'data' they want to see."

"I don't get what your point is," I said.

He answered, "My point is that they've created a kind of uncontrollable intelligence outside of any pure observations. Their will to observe is nothing more than a reflection of Miss Suzumiya's desire to be observed. It's the only rational explanation."

Koizumi then promptly offered, "Perhaps her unique ability created their desire to observe her?"

Kida then briefly sighed and asked, "Does it really matter which one was the more motivated?"

"To myself, no," Koizumi answered. "To those who cling to this notion of deities, however..."

This seemed like an impasse, and I was wondering, "So, you discount the idea of evolution."

Kida answered, "I do, but only in the sense that it diminishes the question of purpose."

Koizumi then asked him, "Have you really observed a purpose?"

Kida was about to answer that, but then he looked at me, looked at Koizumi, and he reconsidered.

"I'm curious," Koizumi explained. "That's all."

Kida then remarked, "I think it's very dangerous for us to discuss this."

"I'm curious, myself," I prompted.

Kida then answered, "I have observed a great many things you haven't. The real question, however, is why you remain unaware."

Koizumi asked, "Me?"

"That's right," Kida said. "You haven't had any visions? No prophetic dreams?"

"Should I have?" Koizumi casually answered.

"That might explain your attitude," Kida muttered.

"Okay," I said, taking a moment to reflect on all this. "I'm sensing that you guys are espers. Is that correct?"

Koizumi answered, "We do have some unusual abilities, but this is the first I can recall hearing about foresight. Is that supposed to be among our capabilities?"

"Yes, it is," Kida answered, very firm.

"How on Earth...?" Koizumi started to ask.

"Excuse me," I said. "Sorry to interrupt, but..."

For an orientation, this was a pretty lousy one. You don't often see the tour leader arguing with the head of the organization. It's all very illuminating, but it does make one worry about getting involved.

"Yes?" Kida answered. "Oh, sorry. We get caught up in these disagreements. Actually, I like to encourage this. Our differences do make us stronger, after all."

"Allow me to explain," Koizumi added. "This closed space is kind of a playground for giant bluish creatures that like to smash things up. They don't damage the real world, but we can't just leave them alone. They are strange and unpredictable, after all."

Kida casually added, "They can destroy this world if we were to leave them alone."

"Really?" Koizumi asked, looking very surprised again.

"Yes," Kida answered. "I have foreseen that."

"Anyway," Koizumi continued, "we have to fight with them. And that will make the closed space disappear."

Kida explained, "Once we eliminate the ethereal warriors, there is no longer a need to protect the natural world."

Koizumi then remarked, "I don't really see how a celestial could destroy the world, though."

I noticed a pause in the conversation, and then began to note Kida glaring at Koizumi. It didn't strike me at the time, but I think he was starting to suspect at that point.

"So, what are we waiting for?" I asked.

"Are you asking me?" Koizumi answered.

I then asked, "Shouldn't there be a giant bluish creature? Whatever you call it?"

"There really should be," he replied.

"So, where is it?" I asked.

"Good question," he remarked.

I then asked Koizumi, "You didn't foresee where the celestial would be?"

"Who are you?" Kida then softly asked him.

"Excuse me?" Koizumi answered.

Kida softly restated, "I asked you who you are."

"Oh!" he said, strangely rude and imposing now, "You didn't foresee this happening?"

"That's enough," Kida insisted. "Itsuki Koizumi would never mock me to my face."

Koizumi chuckled in a strangely casual way, saying, "Oops. I guess I tipped my hand a little too early."

"What are you talking...?" I began to ask, but then I was treated to the bizarre spectacle of Koizumi suddenly transforming into Ryoko Asakura.

"I'm really no good at infiltration," she complained.

"You set us up!" Kida accused "She..."

"Yes," Asakura answered. "Miss Nagato 'foresaw' that you would try to kidnap Kyon. That isn't going to happen."

"Kidnap?" I asked.

"I'll explain this later," she answered.

"You know the rules," Kida stated, frowning and unable to accept any of this. "You're not permitted to interfere in our affairs."

"Rules?" Asakura sneered. "You must be joking."

Kida looked dumbfounded at that, as if he were just now realizing something important.

She continued, "The only rule I adhere to is this: Outside his own domain, the hunter becomes the hunted."

And, right at that moment, the whole grayness vanished, leaving us on an ordinary rooftop in an ordinary world.

"You win, then," Kida remarked. "Aren't you going to gloat?"

"Why would I do that?" she asked. "Come on, Kyon. Let's go home."

- x -

We took another taxi to our side of town, and it was just a short walk to the park for my debriefing. On the way, I thought to ask Asakura about a few things.

"Kidnap?" I asked. "Really?"

She answered, "A slight exaggeration, I admit. I used it for dramatic effect."

"You did sound pretty cool there for a moment," I remarked.

"Why thank you," she said.

"You're welcome," I answered.

"You don't seem too surprised," she observed.

"I'm still a little dazed," I explained. "Excuse me. It's been a strange day."

She then said, "Your 'special' abilities relate to celestials. I'm afraid that's all I'm permitted to explain, for now."

"Okay," I said. "Am I crazy, or was that guy really important?"

"Shigeru Kida is their leader," she informed me. "As it turns out, I think I now know why."

"Because of his powers of foresight?" I guessed.

"That's right," she answered. "It's a little worrisome that he expects all espers to have that ability. They do all have that to at least a small extent. Maybe they can also expand that into a more general ability."

"You think they can?" I wondered.

"I sure hope not," she answered. "That would become a huge problem."

"I thought you had all these super abilities..." I started to point out.

"We do," she said, "but the ability to foresee things would trump all that. This information is going to cause a lot of turmoil in my superiors. I think I can 'foresee' that."

It was probably bothering her that those celestials could destroy the world, and the leader of the espers had foreseen it. If he really had foreseen it, then that must mean that it would actually happen at some point. The practical upshot of all this for me was that this was all blurring the lines between aliens, time travelers, and espers. I guess there's a lot of overlap between the different groups.

Speaking of overlap, I wondered, "What was that alternate world we were in? Was that really...?"

"Oh!" she said, looking very proud of herself. "No, that was my special ability. I can create a wide variety of spatial bubbles. I can control the data, so it's no big deal for me to create the illusion of 'closed space' to someone. I can even mimic what they refer to as a certain 'smell.' I can't create a celestial with my abilities, though."

"Why not?" I asked. "Too big and powerful?"

"No," she answered. "It's just... They're too ugly for me to even contemplate."

- x -

When we arrived at the park, we found Miss Nagato waiting, and that seemed like a good time to her to begin interrogating me, though she surely knew most of what I had to say. I found out that she likes to get my particular view on things, just to give the data some added dimension. She then informed me that she had baited the espers with some false information because she suspected that they were preparing to recruit me for special work. They had developed a particular desperation, and this struck her as worthy of investigation. As it turned out, their desperation now made a lot of sense.

She then assured me that Kida's prophesies could not relate to this reality, or if they did, it would relate to a reality in some subsequent time plane. She had, after all, received acknowledgements from certain signals to the future in this time plane. I asked about time planes, and she explained that she could remember previous time planes. This was something I had confronted a lot but could never quite get a handle on until now. That Kida could foresee future time planes was very disturbing, and not just to me.

"That does explain quite a lot," I said. "I never imagined someone would consider Miss Suzumiya a god."

Nagato then remarked in her usual manner, "Within the parameters of Mikuru Asahina's modifications to the temporal data stream, there are very few differences between Haruhi Suzumiya's accomplishments and those you might attribute to a deity. The existence of her relationship with Itsuki Koizumi invalidates such assertions."

"So," I asked, "they really are boyfriend and girlfriend, huh?"

"Yes," Asakura answered, "but that could change. All thanks to Mikuru Asahina. You see?"

I then complained, "Don't tell me Mikuru Asahina contacting me is the first thing that's changed about this time plane."

Nagato answered, "My subordinate's attempts to expedite this situation was probably the first deviation from the usual temporal stream in this particular iteration. Though it should be noted that her actions were triggered by notifications of Mikuru Asahina's pending temporal anomaly."

Asakura added, "We were given a lot more latitude, this time around. I say it makes sense to bring you up to speed."

A little quicker next time, thank you.

Nagato seemed to be reading my mind, and said, "Even so, we will need to accelerate the process. This data about the destructive capability of the aberrations only confirms my suspicions about the succeeding temporal plane."

"You sure can talk when you need to," I told Nagato.

"I told you," Asakura said. "She has a way with words."

I then asked her, "And you came straight to me to warn me about aliens and time travelers?"

"What can I say?" she answered. "I love my life."

It's true. She radiates this sense of affection for everything she does. It's pretty amazing, actually. I couldn't imagine how she does it, but then she suddenly had an answer to that:

"Tell me," she said. "If this were the last day of your life, what would you do?"

I answered, "I guess I would go nuts and do everything I possibly could."

"Exactly," she said.

"Does this mean...?" I started to ask if she was afflicted with some terrible illness.

Nagato answered, "She's referring to a sensation that dominated her awareness throughout a significant portion of the previous time plane."

"Okay," I said, a little relieved.

"Yes," Asakura said, remarking, "Having your life cut short makes you really appreciate the time you have."


	49. I Want To Break Free

- Chapter 4: I Want To Break Free

Despite warning me about my summer break, I found that Haruhi Suzumiya didn't really have much in mind. I wasn't disappointed, but I did think it amusing considering how much she hates to watch the time tick by. She might resent me wasting a few minutes of her life, but she has no problem throwing away a whole month or so, apparently. Well, it was her life to waste. I can't complain, considering how I spent my time.

Over the course of the summer, I mostly just watched TV or read comic books. With a week left, I dimly recalled that I had a lot of homework left to do, but I could only get motivated enough to get started about three days before the start of the next semester. The new semester was approaching, and the Monday of the first class back in school was looming. It was going to be brutal. Or so I thought.

To my astonishment, there stood Haruhi in front of class in the first period. She had transferred, and she was briefly invited to explain what she expected from having decided to go here instead of wherever it was she was going. I hadn't bothered to look into it. It had undoubtedly been some snooty school on the rich side of town. Her side of town was like a whole other world. And yet, here she was.

This was the thing I couldn't get over. Okay, I can understand her casual involvement in things like aliens or espers, but to change your high school just seemed like a huge step. I mean, surely her mother would never approve. Not that a girl like this would listen to her mother. Even so, to go from a nice side of town to a more middle-class environment was surely like the kiss of death for her future. I could understand people as pedestrian as aliens going to a school like this, but Haruhi? She obviously belonged with her own kind. Not here.

Just a coincidence, I told myself. There's no way a girl from the snooty side of town would ever admit it, even if she did come here looking for aliens and time travelers. I mean, that would just be asinine. There must have been some other reason, although I couldn't for the life of me think of one. I awaited her introduction, as did the rest of class, with eager anticipation.

"I'm Haruhi Suzumiya," she said. "I went to East Middle. I have no interest in ordinary humans, but if any of you are aliens or espers, please come see me. That is all."

I think I almost fell out of my chair with surprise. I mean, you can't get any more direct and to the point than that, can you? I looked at her face, but she was dead serious. The whole class went quiet, too. I think we were all thinking roughly the same thing, though Miss Asakura had something else in mind.

Asakura stood up and said, "What an inspiring idea! Please, take my desk."

"Are you sure?" Haruhi asked her.

"If you need anything ordinary," she explained, "please come see me."

I don't think Haruhi really wanted anything ordinary, but she went ahead and took that desk, anyway. It gave her a front row seat to anything I might have been up to, that's for sure.

- x -

She wasn't in the mood to speak to me, though. In fact, at lunch, it was just the usual arrangement (me pushing my desk together with Kunikida's). Haruhi decided to go prowling around the school grounds. I wasn't sure what it was she thought she might find, but off she went.

"Oh man," Kunikida complained. "What an introduction. Did I really hear all that correctly? Aliens and espers?"

He had told me about that incident from three years ago (after I had experienced it first hand, of course), but I don't think he really knew what to expect. I would have thought that a girl whose exploits make the newspaper would merit some caution. Then again, I knew her a little better and this introduction of hers had shocked me, as well.

I then remarked, "I thought for sure she would drag her boyfriend here."

"You know her?" he asked, then answered himself, "What am I saying? Of course, you would know her."

"It isn't like that," I said. "We have a mutual friend."

"Really?" he asked.

"A perfectly normal girl by the name of Mikuru Asahina," I informed him.

He then asked, "Miss Asahina is a friend of yours?"

"Well..." I said, thinking better of myself. "I guess she's really more of a casual acquaintance."

He then admitted, "I seem to recall a girl in second year by that name."

"You know the second year girls?" I asked.

He explained, "Miss Tsuruya mentioned her, at one point."

"I see," I said.

Miss Asakura suddenly appeared next to me and asked, "Did I hear you correctly? You know Miss Suzumiya?"

I don't think Kunikida detected it, but this was clearly some posturing on Asakura's part. I could tell from the tone of her voice.

"Yeah," Kunikida answered. "Maybe that's why she transferred here."

"I highly doubt that," I commented.

"Well," she said, "if she's really interested in ordinary people, that's encouraging."

"Why is that?" I asked.

She answered, "I'd really hate to see her waste her time looking for things that aren't there. And if there's anything we need to say to her, I can just convey it through Kyon."

Kunikida then softly asked me, "Didn't you mention a boyfriend?"

"Yes, I did," I answered, looking at Asakura.

"She has a boyfriend?" Asakura asked, feigning ignorance. "Then why would she leave him behind to come here?"

Kunikida answered, "Maybe she wanted to go to school with Miss Asahina."

"Oh, is that it?" she asked.

I explained, "Maybe she suspects that Miss Asahina is a time traveler."

"That's just silly," Asakura remarked. "Why on Earth would she think that?"

I think by this point, Kunikida suspected that there was something amiss in this conversation. He seemed about to ask something, but then Miss Asakura decided to retreat back to the safety of her own friends. He looked at me, and I just shook my head. Asakura is a pretty lousy liar, though she is oddly good at imitating Koizumi.

- x -

It may have been a Monday, but it was still the first day back. The tennis teams were doing their standard second semester orientations, and I understand that they were already eyeing Haruhi to join up (well, them and several other athletic clubs). Suffice it to say that our club met again at the literature club room, and I really just needed to unwind with a good novel. It had gotten rather busy over the last few days, and it was good to finally do something relaxing for a change.

The whole club was here, too. Even Miss Asakura seemed content to just watch as Tsuruya and Kunikida played one of the board games I had brought from home. We just sat peacefully for about a half an hour. Nice. Or maybe it just seems that way because of what happened directly afterward.

As we were all engaged in our various relaxations, in came Haruhi. She immediately spotted me, and demanded, "This is where you're at? The literature club?"

"You wanted something?" I asked.

Obviously, since she was already sitting across from me. The others mostly avoided noticing. The interesting effect of that introduction was that people generally avoided her unless they had some special desire to speak to her (and most sane people would never even think about getting involved with someone like her).

"Are you into books or something?" she asked.

"Something," I answered.

For a girl who had invited certain people to come speak with her, she certainly showed a dramatic lack of social skill; one of the many ironies I had already noticed. And I also noticed that she seemed more hysterical than anyone else I knew. Maybe Asakura just likes to displace a lot of what she thinks about Haruhi onto me. That might explain it.

"It's really more like the go-home club," I explained. "Only, we're all too lazy to actually go home."

Kunikida chimed in, "Except for Miss Nagato, of course."

"Yes," I agreed. "She's the only real member of this club. The rest of us are just intruders."

"I see," Haruhi said.

Tsuruya then added, "We hit the tennis courts when they're open and it isn't raining."

Haruhi then asked, "And it's okay for us girls to join?"

Asakura answered, "I think we've already got too many."

"Oh, right," Tsuruya remarked. "Yeah. We're going to need another boy to join, at this rate."

Haruhi then asked, "You going to take that?"

"Pardon?" I said, wondering if she had addressed that to me.

"Never mind," she answered.

Kunikida then softly remarked, "I think she was trying to make a joke."

Tsuruya then burst out laughing, and said, "Oh, I get it. Kyon really is effeminate sometimes."

"Thank you, Miss Subtlety," Haruhi said, frowning briefly.

A funny complaint, coming from someone who had exhibited exactly zero subtlety of her own just this morning.

"Could we have a word?" Haruhi then asked.

"Sure," I said, smiling and folding my hands on the table.

"I mean, in private," she added. "Come on."

- x -

If you're wondering why I've switched to "Haruhi," it's because (since the introduction) I've had this feeling of looking down on her. I had thought that since she was from the prim and proper side of town that she would prove to be a stuck up brat, but she pretty thoroughly disabused me of that notion in a few short sentences just that morning. Since then, I've started to recognize that she didn't really deserve to be treated with the kind of respect that I nearly always approach people with.

In fact, when she led me to a more private discussion, it was a place where we could both look down on people, though only in a literal sense: the school roof. Now, you might be wondering if this is all just some bluffing on my part, but the fact remains that Miss Asakura was still several degrees higher in my estimation than Haruhi. That there could have been any romantic inclination involved in this situation didn't even register a whisper in the back of my mind.

"So, what did you want?" I asked.

"You like Asakura?" she immediately asked.

"She's okay," I said, dramatically understating the case. "Actually, she's kind of cool sometimes."

"You aren't dating her, are you?" Haruhi then wondered.

"No," I said, as if I really needed to deny it. Oddly enough, Haruhi didn't look as though this answer was anywhere as redundant as I had thought.

"You like fast food?" she then asked.

"I can take it or leave it," I said. Mostly, I'd prefer to leave it.

"What do you like?" she then asked, and believe it or not, I was still oblivious to what she was asking me.

"Is this going somewhere?" I asked, a little exasperated.

She then frowned and answered, "I'm saying that I like you. I can't stop thinking about you. I want us to start going out."

To be fair, I think she was being at least a little sincere here. At the time, it didn't even occur to me that there was any sincerity in that statement. I just stood there for a few moments, amazed that she could have the unmitigated gall to expect me to fall for such an obvious ploy.

"I'm not telling you who the aliens are."

"I don't care about that. I mean, I kind of do, but I'm serious."

She was serious about everything, to be sure. She could crack a bad joke, but that only made it all the more obvious how utterly serious she always is. "I can see that," I admitted.

"So?" she asked.

"You really want to go out with me?" I asked, unwilling to admit it to myself, even in the context of a situation that didn't include aliens or time travelers.

Haruhi then had the most bizarrely cute expression I had ever seen from anyone. She glanced awkwardly at me and frowned, and it seemed ridiculous, but there was this heavy tension in the air because of it. Now, I'm not really this dense. I have actually dated before, no matter what I told the others. I know my way around these situations. This is a girl who is terrified, and this just absolutely blew my mind. Haruhi? Afraid of something?

I then pulled myself together and answered, "I mean, of course. Yeah. I'd love to."

"I'll call you," she said, immediately smiling.

"Okay," I acknowledged.

"See you," she said, fleeing the scene, though I could have sworn she looked very relieved. Odd.

- x -

The next day, I found myself seeking out the library. It was just a momentary lapse of reason that I rely on for the occasion of necessary study. I sometimes found that unless I let myself wander around into insanity, my sanity might suddenly go missing. The same was true with wisdom and knowledge. The more you study of ignorance and folly, the more you discover the virtue of wisdom. And there are very few places where one can safely embrace ignorance and folly more than in a library.

That scene the previous day on the school roof just seemed to me like something out of a weird dream. I mean, that couldn't have actually happened, could it? The more I thought about it, the less sense it made. I mean, I have met quite a number of girls like Haruhi (in superficial ways). They always seem to me to be rather banal and too forward. Girls of that nature were always shameless and immodest to an intolerable extent, and I inevitably avoided them and their trouble-making ways more than I would flee death. I already found Haruhi to be a profane and frequently offensive person, so what was so different about her? Did I really think she might be a deity? Surely not. Was it because of all this inexplicable attention from time travelers and aliens? I don't think so. And yet, something in me just said (in spite of her good looks) yeah. Why not?

I had asked several other guys about her, and they all agreed that Haruhi definitely had the looks, so I wasn't just imagining that. Nor was I the only one who thought it strange that she might consider dating outside her particular affiliation. I mean, she had to suspect anyone as ordinary-looking as me might just date her because of her looks and not just because of her wonderful personality. I would question my own motives, and my motives would point and laugh at my ignorance and folly, as if to say that if it was necessary to explain, then I truly was hopelessly ignorant.

I therefore sought out some inspiration in this study that would trigger some enlightenment. Little did I realize that someone else was already seeking me out.

"There you are," came the voice of Koizumi. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Hello," I said.

"You're not easy to find," he complained.

"I'm sneaky that way," I explained. "Why don't you sit down?"

"Thank you," he said, taking a moment to notice what I was reading. Yes. It's a text book. Don't look so surprised.

"You've been looking for me?" I asked.

He sat down and answered, "Oh... Well, I feel a little responsible about what happened a while back."

I guessed, "You mean when Shigeru Kida tried to recruit me?"

"Yeah, that," he said, looking very embarrassed.

"That's okay," I said. "It turned out to be a setup. You were never told?"

"I'm not privy to information like that," he answered.

I then explained, "That whole operation turned out to be an infiltration maneuver that Miss Nagato had planned out about three months ago."

"Still," he said, "I feel like I should apologize. I should have prevented that."

"I don't see how you could have," I said.

He then added, "I would have contacted you earlier, but I've been really busy."

"I've been busy, myself," I remarked. "Playing games and watching my grades get lower. Pretty sad, huh?"

"Taking it easy, huh?" he asked. "Must be nice."

I answered, "I've been mulling over some of the things Miss Asahina told me."

"Oh?" he said.

I added, "Kida told me that you guys have an understanding with the aliens."

"That's right," he confirmed.

I then said, "I wonder if that's true for the time travelers, as well."

"I really have no way of knowing," he admitted.

"You don't?" I asked. "So you really can't see the future?"

He answered, "My abilities aren't really all that exciting. In fact, right now, I'm just a perfectly ordinary human being."

"So," I said, "maybe it is just your leader."

He then added, "I wouldn't have the slightest idea, to be honest. Though I must admit that we are beset by a great many intrigues. Did he really say that he encourages that?"

"He said that he encourages differences," I confirmed.

"Well," Koizumi complained, "he certainly does that."

"He isn't really a leader, is he?" I asked.

Koizumi thought for a moment and replied, "He is, but I kind of feel like he's trying to redefine what it means to be a leader. You know? Someone who simply points out the possibilities and then lets others decide."

"It's funny," I said, thinking how ironic that was, considering how he could see the future.

"Yes," Koizumi agreed. "You came here to study?"

"For once," I answered. "I know. I usually spend my time in comic books, but I've had this urge to get caught up in my studies."

"I should probably stop distracting you, then," he said.

"Could you tell me something?" I asked.

"What?"

"Does he really think of Suzumiya as a god? I just can't accept that."

Koizumi frowned and shook his head. He then oddly smiled and shrugged, explaining, "I know what you mean. He really is the dogmatic type, though. Otherwise, he seems very intelligent to me. Then again, what do I know?"

"Oh," I added, "I should tell you something."

"What?" he asked.

"She asked me out."

"Miss Suzumiya?"

"Yeah."

"And you accepted, right?"

"Yes, I did."

He then smiled wider than I could have imagined possible, softly interjecting, "What a relief."

"You aren't upset?" I asked, very skeptical.

He softly laughed and added, "Quite the contrary. Please tell me things will work out."

"It's a little too soon for that," I told him.

He then got up again and offered, "If you need anything, especially if it's to help smooth things over, give me a call. You have my phone number?"

"Afraid not," I informed him.

"Oh," he said, suddenly fishing through his pockets. "Let me see..."

- x -

The next day, we were permitted back onto the tennis courts, and I had developed a sudden thirst. I went to go deliver us some water, while Tsuruya and Haruhi were playing tennis (and not just hitting around).

"Romance novels," Asakura answered, as I approached them. "Yes, I'm predictable like that. Pathetic, huh?"

Kunikida then asked, "Doesn't everyone like romance novels?"

"Yeah, that's my point," she said. "It's so common."

"Oh, hey Kyon," he said, noticing me.

"Here's some water," I offered.

"Thanks," he said, taking one of the bottles I had filled.

"Hey there, lover boy," Asakura directed at me.

Another reference to a previous time plane, no doubt. It was odd how often she made all these cryptic references. Then I realized, she meant about Haruhi.

She then added, "You're jumping on the fail bus really quickly, this time around."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

She explained, "This isn't the first time, you know?"

"Oh," I said, realizing. Now, she was talking about time planes, "you mean, me dating Miss Suzumiya?"

Kunikida suddenly spit some water and began coughing.

"Yeah," Asakura said, grinning, "that was my reaction when I heard about it."

"I'm surprised you had a reaction," I remarked.

"Oh?" she said.

"Aren't you obsessed with death?" I asked, thinking that all this surprise was just a waste of her precious time.

"Am I?" she asked, looking confused.

"Hold on," Kunikida said, finally getting his voice. "You're dating? I knew you liked going after the weird ones, but..."

I sighed and told him, "Yeah, get it out of your system."

He then merely added, "She really takes the cake in that department."

I then realized that Kunikida's obsessive tendency to notice my dating habits was what was really strange. I then glared at him, wondering why he made that his business in the first place.

"Don't look at me like that," he complained. "You're the strange one."

Asakura then said, defensively, "I have a vast appreciation for time. I don't think that makes me obsessed with death."

"So, time is money?" I guessed.

"Hardly," she answered, sneering a little. "Time is worth a lot more than money. And people like Miss Suzumiya, who do nothing but hoard money, are the ones who waste their time."

Kunikida then remarked, "I have a feeling you have more to say on this subject."

Asakura did indeed: "Why do you think she's always so desperate to find strange things?"

"Isn't that what she wants out of life?" I asked.

"Is it?" she asked me. "I wonder. What do you want out of life?"

"Money, for one," I answered without thinking. "It would be a good start."

She immediately corrected, "That's what your mother wants for you. What do you want?"

Oddly enough, she was absolutely right about that, and I had somehow not realized. I never really wanted a normal life, but I had never had cause to consider it.

"It's worth thinking about," she added.

I then suggested to her, "Maybe instead of thinking of this as the last day of your life, you should be thinking of this as the first."

"Should I?" she asked, looking surprised again.

"That's what I do," I said.

Kunikida laughed and explained, "Yeah, that's Kyon all right. Take any concept that sounds like it's a sensible one and turn it around backwards."

"Just how many of those do you have?" I wondered.

"I could do this all day," he remarked.

"Anyway," I added, "dating Miss Suzumiya isn't strange at all. It's more normal, if anything."

Kunikida then asked, "And you don't think she has an ulterior motive?"

"Does she?" I asked him.

"I don't know," he answered, "but I wouldn't be at all surprised."

I then noticed Asakura, and asked her, "What are you grinning about?"

"Nothing," she answered. "I mean, yes. Maybe I will start thinking that way."

- x -

Later that afternoon, Haruhi and I went to a coffee shop near the train station. It was convenient for her. We had a long conversation about nothing important. Or, at least, it didn't seem important at the time. She briefly asked about my mother and my situation at home with my father (my step-father, actually). Yeah. My parents are pretty normal, though I don't relate to them all that well. I'm not really known for my good choice in girlfriends, either. Actually, a lot more people know about my past than just Kunikida. He just talks about it more openly than most. I asked Haruhi a few questions about Koizumi, and she would just smile and call him "great." I started to figure out that that was her code word for someone frustrating and difficult to deal with. The more I talked to her, the less obsessed with weirdness she was, and the more it seemed like we were really just talking.

Before long, the conversation turned to that day at the tennis courts, and what (in particular) Miss Asakura had talked about with us.

"She wanted to annoy me," I answered. "She always does that."

"Always?" Haruhi asked, frowning oddly.

I explained, "I thought she might be one of those casual party girls, but now I think she's probably a full-fledged hedonist."

"What makes you say that?" she asked.

"Certain things she's asked me," I replied. "Plus, she disregards the idea of money more than anyone I've ever met."

"More than Koizumi?" Haruhi wondered.

I asked her, "He isn't one of those guys who's vowed to be poor, is he?"

"He might be," she answered. "I don't know. He never changes expression."

"Does he really?" I asked.

"Does Nagato?" she asked. "You know her better than I do."

"You really care?" I wondered.

"Not really," she answered. "I've just never heard anyone talk like that. It's a little mesmerizing."

"You have heard her speak, then?" I asked, wondering when that had happened.

"I know," she said. "I feel like I've really accomplished something, getting her to say more than one or two words."

I can sympathize. Getting Haruhi to talk like a normal human being is something I feel accomplished about, as well.

I then asked, "You like tennis?"

"It's okay," she answered. "I don't really have that good a serve."

"You've got really good footwork."

"You think so?"

"It's true."

"Tsuruya really sucks."

"Compared to you, maybe."

"She has a killer backhand, though. I can never run down her backhand-up-the-line shots."

With her fitness, her passion for winning, her skill at the sport, it seemed to me like a good combination. I wondered that she hadn't thought of doing something like this before.

I asked her, "You ever think of joining the tennis club?"

"I don't know," she answered. "It's a lot of running and stuff. I'd get bored."

"Nothing wrong with a little boredom," I said, borrowing a phrase from Miss Asakura.

- x -

By the next Monday, things were already starting to settle down into what seemed like a comfortable rhythm. I went to the tennis courts to watch Tsuruya and Kunikida in their usual hitting around session. In some ways, it was more fun to watch than an actual tennis match.

Before long, Koizumi showed up, looking for all the world like he belonged here.

"Hey," he said, "whats up?"

"Hey," I answered. "Just watching these two play."

Koizumi noticed Miss Nagato standing nearby and asked her, "What are you reading?"

While I made a mental note that Nagato had been standing there (and I had neglected to notice this, somehow), she lifted the book, showing him the cover.

"Nice," he said. "I like that book."

"You wanted something?" I asked.

"Nothing," he answered. "I just transferred, incidentally."

"For academic reasons, of course," I said, with just a hint of sarcasm.

"Of course," he said, very sincerely.

I then asked, "You realize that Haruhi is going to be doubtful of that?"

"So," he remarked, "it's 'Haruhi,' huh?"

I answered, "I think I've earned the right to call her that."

"Is this something I want to hear?" he asked.

"I don't know," I answered. "How squeamish are you on the subject of cleaning house?"

"Oh, I see," he said.

I then recounted, "She invited me over to see some games of hers, and it turned into a session of dusting models and sweeping the floor. And then it started getting serious."

"She's sneaky that way," he added.

"Yes," I agreed.

He really had no idea. That cleaning session had been about an inch away from a making-out session. Things had gotten "serious" to the point that I was thinking that a certain out-of-town rendezvous might be the next significant step in this relationship unless I could slow things down, somehow.

"Is this something you do a lot of?" he asked. "I mean, this tennis thing?"

I admitted, "I mostly stand around watching while Tsuruya and Kunikida play. Today, we have a special guest."

"She's...?" he asked, wondering who I meant.

"Normally at the club room," I said, indicating Miss Nagato. "She had a sudden urge to come here, apparently."

"I seem to recall a person named Asakura," he added.

"Yeah," I said. "I don't know... Oh, hey. Here she comes."

Miss Asakura appeared and was quickly approaching us. She then warmly greeted Koizumi, "Hello. Nice to meet you."

"Haven't we met?" he asked. "I'm almost certain we have."

"I'm certain we haven't," she said.

It was funny, because they both just stood there, looking at each other for a few moments. They obviously knew each other pretty well for not having met. This is one of the dangers of being an alien or working in a mysterious organization.

Koizumi then awkwardly said, "Well, if you'll excuse me."

"Going so soon?" Asakura asked.

"I need to go find Miss Suzumiya," he explained.

"At the track," she stated.

"Oh?" he asked.

Asakura answered, "She had this crazy idea she wanted to join the tennis club."

"Thanks," he said.

"Don't mention it," she said, while he started off in that direction. She then told Nagato, "It's okay. I'm just having a friendly conversation, here."

Nagato didn't seem about to budge, though she did glance at us once.

"Sheesh," Asakura complained.

"Something the matter?" I asked.

"She thinks I'm plotting something," Asakura answered. "Silly girl. I'm far too impulsive to think more than a few hours ahead."

"Really?" I asked.

"It's the truth," she replied. "If I had wanted to kill you, I could have done that already at least a thousand times."

"Why would you...?" I started to ask, but it was just a little too bizarre.

She answered, "Me and my tendency to leap to conclusions. I'm never comfortable with my perspective. I always look for some confirmation, but silly me. I always end up asking you to help me. And you always give me bad advice."

"Always?" I asked.

"Like," she answered, "if I asked you how close you are to Miss Suzumiya..."

Far too close for me to be comfortable with hearing the rest of where this was going.

She then sweetly asked, "I know this is really rude, but do you want to sleep with me?"

"That..." I answered, "...is really rude."

"Yeah," she said, "but you don't feel obligated to tell her, do you?"

I answered, "I really don't think I will, but only because I value my life."

"Oh?" she said. "So, you're that close already?"

I sighed and admitted, "Somehow, I think we skipped the whole awkward phase and leaped straight into a steady relationship."

Asakura then asked, "So, I take it that you're going to pass?"

"Yeah," I said.

"So, what did Koizumi want?" she asked.

"He's transferring here," I answered.

"Really?" she wondered. "Well, I guess that isn't too surprising."

"How do you figure that?"

"His organization. They need to keep an eye on her, and he looks a little less suspicious than anyone else they have available."

"Makes sense."

"It isn't enough to just stay in contact by phone. You really have to have a face-to-face situation."

This just raised a serious issue in my mind. Now, I'm almost positive that the only reason she pointed this out was to get me thinking about it.

"Oh my," she said, feigning ignorance. "I hope he isn't giving her the wrong idea."

I then said, "She doesn't know about his organization. Does he really need to keep it secret?"

"Yes, he does," she answered. "It would be very inconvenient for him to have to explain it to her."

Yes, it would. Though there's almost certainly a good chance that she'll misinterpret his reasons for transferring, in particular if he tries that "academic reasons" excuse. He had to be smarter than that, surely? I worried that he might bungle all that and give her the wrong idea. Or worse, he might give her the right idea. I then noticed Asakura smiling as she seemed to be aware of what I was thinking.

I then accused her, "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Oh, of course," she confessed. "But then, I always enjoy myself."

- x -

The next day at the club room, I found myself alone with Asakura and Nagato again. Kunikida was helping his dad, and Tsuruya was out with her "friends" again. I played a game of Othello with Asakura, and though she always played very quickly, she always seemed to be on the winning side.

"You don't really want to play this, do you?" she asked, after having beat me three times in a row.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked.

"I think you know what I'm talking about," she answered, smirking at me.

I had been thinking that she had just been speaking hypothetically, but this just confirmed that she was something like a hedonist. I then observed, "You like to live dangerously, don't you?"

She answered, "Just say the word, and I'll make it happen. I promise you won't have to tell anyone."

I thought for a moment and asked her, "Between you and Haruhi, I'm wondering which of you is the more impulsive."

"Oh, that's no contest," she answered. "I'm definitely way more impulsive."


	50. Save Me

- Chapter 5: Save Me

In the month or so that followed (September turning to October), things began moving toward the kind of climax I had been expecting. Miss Nagato had briefed me on something she had foreseen, which then failed to turn up, much to her consternation. Asakura continued to be her usual capricious self, and Koizumi continued being helpful and supportive (and I did actually call him once, but just to check on some of my food choices). Haruhi continued being my girlfriend, and that was somehow more strange and inexplicable than anything else I could describe. Call me cheesy, but there was something more amiss about that than the thought of aliens, time travelers, and espers.

I had understood girls to fret about their reputation, to fight with me over philosophical concerns, to accuse me of being greedy, or to just plain get jealous over something they had imagined (or heard about in some rumor). It was this notion of jealousy that kills me. I could never understand or accept it. Whenever it wasn't scaring people away it was giving me the most unhinged thoughts I had ever encountered. Jealousy had made my most recent girlfriend an intolerable bitch. Haruhi, on the other hand...

Haruhi has this knack for sounding jealous, but then pretending that she has no idea what you're talking about when you bring it up. I know she's savvy to the ways of romantic guys like me, but I had no idea that she would even anticipate the pitfalls of jealousy. In fact, she has her own endearing traits. I learned that she could take her own warped perspective of things and make it into a joke (though she didn't always get her timing right). For example, whenever she offered suggestions for dating locations, the subject would invariably turn to me wondering what her bedroom looked like. She must have something really embarrassing in there, because she always referred to it as the "danger zone" or "no-man's land" or some other reference to a place where men can rightfully expect to get killed. She also likes to refer to her secrets as her "hidden assets."

Dating always starts out with fascination and infatuation, which then always turns into some sort of confused set of feelings. I had always found that getting more deeply involved with someone would just make you more deeply confused and upset than before. With Haruhi, I found myself looking at what seemed like an emotional mirror. Whenever I would complain about something going on at home, she would just nod sagely (as if she understood) but that was somehow very satisfying. Whenever the subject turned to things that I liked to do, she always offered suggestions that were (annoyingly) better than my own thoughts on the matter. Whenever the subject turned to food, she always seemed to have some experience that outdid my own (already lofty) expectations.

At lunch one day, I learned that I wasn't the only one with certain expectations.

Kunikida remarked, "I thought you'd be having lunch with your girlfriend."

Yeah, right. Maybe if I had a more normal girlfriend. He really should know better than to suggest such a thing, or to keep harping on this. Maybe he was really just jealous of the fact that life was more interesting for me than him. An interesting thought, in itself.

"I mean," he added, "that is the normal thing to do, right?"

I answered, "I don't think the word 'normal' is in her vocabulary."

"I've heard her use it," he said, "but it sounded like an insult."

I asked, "Does she say anything that doesn't sound like an insult?"

"You're asking me?" he complained.

I then explained, "I can't take her anywhere. It's always something with her. The service is always too slow, the food is never prepared right, the atmosphere is a little off... And that's just when we eat out."

"You're worried about what other people think?" he guessed.

I answered, "I'm worried she'll do something really crazy. Like, if she doesn't like the food she's been served, she'll send it back with some crazy complaint to the chef. She has to make it personal. I'm worried that someone will decide to get back at her or take offense so badly they'll kill themselves."

"She makes people tense?" he then guessed.

"That's just the thing," I answered. "The more outrageous she gets, the more humble and fawning people act toward her. It's like some elaborate joke she's playing on me."

"Maybe it's just our weird Japanese culture," he said, shrugging a bit.

"I don't think so," I said. I like to think that culture is more sophisticated than that.

"Is that how Nagato treats her?" he asked.

"No, actually," I replied. "Nagato takes a very clinical view of things."

He observed, "I've never seen her without a book in her face, now that I think about it."

"It's just for fun," I explained. "I asked her about it, and she loves those things. Weird, huh?"

"Not really," he answered. "What's weird is the way..."

He then looked around and trailed off. I wondered what he was about to say.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said. "Never mind."

Just then, Miss Asakura came over to us. "May I join in the conversation?" she asked.

"We were just discussing what people do for fun," I said.

"You know what I do for fun," she said, winking.

I like to imagine her playing with dolls. It fits my image of her. She has a rather disappointing attitude toward this image I have of her, though.

"He does?" Kunikida wondered.

"I like tennis," she answered. "What can I say?"

"So," I suggested, "why don't you join the tennis club?"

"I don't like it that much," she objected. "I would like a friendly match with Miss Suzumiya, though."

"I would, too," Kunikida remarked. "She's really good."

Asakura then asked me, "Could you talk to her about it? I'm really no good at handling her."

"I thought you were good with anybody," I answered.

"I am," she stated. "It's just... She doesn't really talk with anyone except you."

"That's true," Kunikida agreed.

"I'll see what I can do," I said, making a mental note and then promptly forgetting it.

- x -

So, as it turned out, things hadn't really changed all that much. There was just this strange sense of a rivalry between Haruhi and Miss Asakura that I couldn't quite figure out, though I was stuck in the middle of it. For me, the dilemma of how to face Asakura was the fact that I knew her too well to ever want to "just" sleep with her. That would never satisfy either of us (especially her, I think). I also didn't really know her well enough that she could convince me to date her, not that she would want to date me. Her philosophy would never permit her to have more than a superficial interest in me and would never permit me to take a serious interest in her.

As for Haruhi, I couldn't escape this feeling of having neglected to perceive all of her issues. This was hardly surprising, however, considering that her issues were generally biblical in proportion. In fact, just the sheer number of problems she created for me was enough to keep me blinded to whatever subtle problems were nagging at the back of my mind. Between school and home, I found that there wasn't any aspect of her life that didn't cause her some weird form of distress. In particular, the concept of sporting. Something about it just rubbed her the wrong way, though she never explained what that was about.

My escape was really this club. Somehow, Asakura had anticipated that I would need this escape route in case things reached this particular situation, and I had to admire that (though it occurred to me that it maybe wasn't just her idea). I wondered briefly what Haruhi's escape route was, but then I noticed that I was just sitting and reading, alone with Miss Nagato.

"So," I noted, "it's been a week."

She looked up and then went back to reading.

I added, "I guess this means I'm in the clear."

"I don't understand," she complained, still looking at her book.

"About the 'aberrant data' you mentioned?" I guessed.

She stopped reading and closed her book, then said, "I don't understand why my prediction was wrong. My conclusions were sound."

I then guessed, "Maybe there was some other 'aberrant data' you didn't notice."

"Perhaps," she admitted.

"You never warned me about Asakura," I complained.

"Is there some difficulty?" she asked, a little stiffer than usual. Funny, but it seemed that this was touchy topic.

I then asked, "Don't you think her attitude toward sex is really wrong?"

She then began to glare at me, and asked, "How did you reach that conclusion?"

"She constantly invites me to sleep with her," I continued. "Am I the only one she...?"

Nagato interrupted, "You would be well advised to not repeat that data. I have a common purpose with Haruhi Suzumiya, or I might find your input too inviting of dangerous recourse."

I was a little astonished to be so well and truly scolded this way. By Nagato, of all people. "Sorry," I said, hoping she would calm down. She hadn't really flared with emotion, but she almost sounded as if she had a tone in her voice, there.

"I did not take offense," she said, looking away. "I warn you to be careful with information of that nature."

I mused, "I can just imagine my mother's reaction."

Nagato then started glaring at me, again.

"I know," I answered her look. "I'll let you get back to your books."

"Thanks," she said.

- x -

The next day was our usual meeting up at the tennis courts. Asakura seemed unusually annoyed with me, and she spent the entire time questioning what I had said and done the previous day. She eventually asked me whether I had raised the issue of romance with Nagato.

"I think I did mention it," I answered, "yes."

Asakura sighed and said, "Well, no wonder. You really shouldn't be so forthcoming with Nagato. She always takes things like that personally."

"She does?" I asked.

"You have no idea," Asakura muttered. "In the previous time plane, she gave up smoking for you, and then you ran off to Africa."

"What in the world?" I said, unable to picture that.

"Some kind of charitable organization," she explained. "Helping out the starving kids in third-world countries and stuff."

"How did that happen?" I wondered.

"You had a moment of reflection," she continued. "It was all very introspective. Suffice it to say that Miss Nagato was rather disappointed, though she had no choice. I mean, you did have this weird ambition of being a champion of the poor and downtrodden at that point." We then noticed Haruhi approaching, and Asakura greeted her, "Oh, hello."

Haruhi had clearly jogged the whole way and was a little out of breath. Nevertheless, she asked me, "Have you seen Koizumi?"

"Should I have?" I asked.

Haruhi then took a moment to relax with us and remarked, "He's been acting strange, lately. I can't figure it out."

"Oh?" I prompted.

She explained, "Any time I ask him about school or hobbies or stuff like that, he gets this strange look on his face. I don't know."

"He's still got a thing for you?" I asked.

"I don't think so," she answered. "Maybe it's a case of not realizing..."

"You don't know what you had until you lose it," I finished the thought.

"Something like that," she acknowledged, looking quite sour to admit it.

"The season for tennis is ending, soon," I warned.

"It is?" she asked. "Oh, damn."

I then added, "Of course, the tennis club will probably go right on practicing."

She predicted, "We'll be out on these courts through November, I'm sure."

"I'll be in the literature club room."

"You'll be out here, cheering for me."

That wasn't a request. Okay. One more thing to add to the growing list of obligations she was giving me.

Asakura then said, "Maybe we should start practicing that."

"Excuse me?" Haruhi said.

Asakura answered, "I'm just wondering if you're up for a match."

"With you?"

"Oh, that's okay. I understand if you're a little nervous. I'm rather good, you see."

Haruhi had to be tempted. I knew she wouldn't want to acknowledge a rival in her personal affairs, but she surely wanted a rival to her ability to play tennis. And Haruhi had just usefully had a good warm up with the tennis team.

"She really is," I sincerely added. "No kidding."

"Maybe just a friendly match," Haruhi answered.

"Oh?" Asakura said. "No, that's no good."

"What?" Haruhi asked.

"I want a duel," Asakura answered.

"No way," Haruhi said, rolling her eyes.

"Why not?" Asakura demanded. "Aren't you bored with just watching people meaninglessly play around? Isn't there something you want from me?"

"What could I possibly want that you have?" Haruhi asked, almost sounding believable with that bluff there.

"Oh, come now," Asakura answered. "I'm not stupid."

Right about here, it occurred to me that Haruhi must have begun suspecting that my "alien" contact was actually Asakura. It was the only thing that made any sense, given everything that I had told her. Was Asakura really about to confess to that? I wondered whether she could get away with that, considering her already tenuous position with Nagato. Or maybe her confrontation with Nagato had made her even more eager to stir up trouble for her superiors (that she often looked down on).

Asakura then asked, "You expect me to believe that you really had some huge infatuation with Kyon? Am I really supposed to believe that?"

"Believe what you want," Haruhi told her.

Okay. She didn't deny it. Which means it was true? "Am I missing something?" I asked, wondering what all this meant.

"Okay," Asakura said. "Tell you what. Let's play a match. And if you win, I'll tell you whatever you want to know."

"What are you playing for?" Haruhi asked her. "Not that it matters, of course. Just for the record, though."

"For Kyon, of course," she answered. "I can't stand to see you tease him so. It's infuriating, to be honest."

"Whoa!" I said, not the slightest bit comfortable with this arrangement. What am I? Does what I think count for nothing, here?

"All right," Haruhi told her. "You have a bet."

"Could I have a word?" I asked Haruhi.

Asakura went to go talk to Tsuruya and Kunikida, while I had a private talk with Haruhi.

"So, let me get this straight," I started.

"What?" she asked.

No sense glossing this over. Let's just get to the point. I asked her, "You were using me to get information out of Miss Asakura?"

"Jeez," she complained. "You make it sound like I robbed you at gun point."

I wanted so badly to slap her, but I felt more disgusted than anything else. I then fumed, "I just want to know if all this 'dating' we've been doing is a lie."

"Well..." she said, thinking for a moment. "Yeah. I mean, at first, I was just using you. I admit that."

I think I almost lost it, there. How could she admit that so casually? How could she be so calm about it? This is just what she's like, though. I knew that, but somehow I couldn't admit it to myself.

She then flared, "But, come on! You were just leading me on with your half explanations of everything that happened to you. What's up with that? And you still haven't told me anything about what you did three years ago."

She had a point. I thought I had explained about that, but she did make a good point. It pissed me off, but still... "So," I wondered, "should I even bother telling my mother to prepare a place for you at dinner on Sunday? You know... She was really looking forward to that."

"You didn't let me finish," she complained. "Okay, yes. I wasn't being completely honest, at first."

"So?"

"So... I really do want things to work out between us. Could we talk about this later? I really want to just go win this match, first."

"You'd better not lose," I told her, still a little furious but starting to understand.

"Are you kidding?" she asked with that sneer of confidence I knew so well. "When do I ever lose?"

- x -

But she did lose. It wasn't even close, either. I know. I was there.

The whole time, I just couldn't believe how I had never seen this coming. I mean, I knew how good Miss Asakura was at tennis, but I just never realized that she could have so much passion for the game. She didn't just move with a grace and cat-like skill that most people dream about, but she struck her shots with such purpose and authority, that it left even Tsuruya breathless. I mean, she didn't hit the ball hard. She hit the ball with a finesse and audacity that you never see outside the professional level (and even there, you rarely see it outside the top twenty players in the world).

I started out rooting for Haruhi in the first four games, but it became clear to me at that point that Haruhi didn't really deserve to win. Tennis, in some intangible ways, is about as brutal as boxing is at its worst. You don't just get to show off how good you are, you get to show off how good you really want to be. The issue was never really in doubt.

Just as I think Haruhi was starting to realize this, Koizumi appeared.

"Hey," he said.

"Oh, hello," Kunikida answered.

He observed, "Things seem a little tense, here."

"You could say that," Tsuruya said, grinning.

"I can't believe it," I softly added, "but Asakura really is good. She's serving out of a tree and returning like a pro."

"She isn't cheating, is she?" Koizumi asked.

"What?" I asked, wondering what he meant by that. I then realized that he was asking me whether she was using some freaky alien powers. I answered, "Oh... No, I haven't seen her do anything unusual."

Kunikida smirked and added, "Actually, Miss Suzumiya is the one who's cheating."

Koizumi frowned and asked us, "Isn't anyone going to referee this match?"

"Are you volunteering?" I asked him.

He looked torn. I knew he wanted to help keep the match fair, but that would just mean having to call out Haruhi on her unfair play.

Tsuruya then marveled, "This is great stuff, though. I can't get over how crazy this match is."

"For example?" Koizumi asked her.

Tsuruya answered, "At one point, the score was forty-love, and Suzumiya was absolutely insistent that it was deuce."

I sighed and added, "I just let her have it. I didn't have the heart to tell her she was wrong."

Koizumi then remarked, "I'm a little afraid to ask what the set score is."

"It's five-two," I informed him. "I have a feeling this'll be over in about five minutes."

"It's surprising, though," he said, shaking his head.

"Why is that?" I asked.

"I..." he started to answer, then said, oddly, "Nothing. Never mind."

- x -

Haruhi was not happy with that outcome. She later told me that (when she returned home) she screamed at herself, she cried, and she spent a long time denying that it had ever happened. She did eventually get over it, though.

I was curious, so I met up with Asakura at the park.

She immediately quipped, "You decided to sleep with me, after all?"

"Can't you ever be serious?" I asked.

"I never say anything I don't mean," she answered.

I then sat next to her and said, "I've never seen anyone get so emotional over tennis."

I really had no idea, though. All I had witnessed was Haruhi smashing her racket, getting red in the face, and making some angry accusations. Asakura had just stood there and took it, silently. She is pretty cool, after all. It wouldn't do for her to ruin that image.

"I know," Asakura said. "Wasn't it embarrassing?"

"I just felt bad for her," I said. "I wish she would talk to me."

"This sort of thing can happen," Asakura added.

"You mean," I guessed, "in relationships?"

That seemed funny to me. I mean, here was a girl whose idea of relationships didn't go any further than what she could see or feel.

"Do you even care about relationships?" I asked.

"Honestly," she replied, "I don't need it. I've seen people fall in love again and again. I just don't get it."

"Really?"

"Really. All I ever want is everything else."

"What about romance?"

"What about it?"

"You don't care for romance?"

"Romance is for the weak. It's all bluster and intimidation and deception. I really don't see the point in it."

For being so damn cool, Asakura really doesn't get it. At all.

I then realized, "So, even if I liked you, it wouldn't be a good idea for me to get seriously involved with you."

"Why not?" she asked. "Are you waiting for Suzumiya to come crawling back to you?"

"Do you listen to yourself?" I asked. "You just got through stomping all over everything I've ever believed in."

"Is it really worth it?" she asked.

"How the hell should I know?" I complained.

I may have had roughly zero success in the sum total of my romantic exploits, but that didn't mean I would stop believing. At this rate, I might go my whole life throwing it all away on something that turned out to just be a dream. But, you know what? That really is my decision to make. I was just glad that no one else was making it for me.

"You should be thanking me," Asakura then complained. "I just saved you from a lifetime of regrets."

"Regrets?" I asked, wondering what she meant by that.

She answered, "You always wonder if you're good enough for her, any time you do end up in a relationship with her. It's so annoying. I keep wondering when you'll wake up and come to your senses, but you never do."

"Maybe I just have a really poor self image," I admitted.

"Maybe," she agreed.

Maybe I have this hysterical view of myself. It could be. I don't know. Maybe, deep down inside, I really enjoy abusing myself because I'm afraid of myself. I'm probably afraid of just about everything else, so why not?

I then asked her, "How many boyfriends do you have?"

She chuckled and softly complained, "Oh, you naughty thing."

"I'm curious," I said. "Is it more than three?"

To judge from the way she smiled a little wider and then looked away, I would say that she was probably stringing along at least four or five guys.

I then asked her, "You never feel guilty about using people?"

"Why should I?" she asked. "They never feel guilty about using me."

- x -

Lunch the next day was interesting, though it was just the usual arrangement. Funny how we never have a lack of things to talk about.

Kunikida observed, "I don't know how, but the whole school has been buzzing with rumors about what happened yesterday."

I asked, "You don't really believe them, do you?"

"Of course not," he answered. "I know you aren't the type, but you might want to watch your back."

I hadn't really noticed anything, but it was good to be warned in advance. I wouldn't want to suddenly be wondering why if I did find myself running for my life.

He added, "It didn't help that Miss Suzumiya didn't bother to show up, today."

I recalled a short conversation with her by phone that morning and supplied, "She said she needed to get caught up on some homework she was neglecting."

"And you believed that?" he asked me.

"It sounded plausible at the time," I answered.

"You going to be up for club?" he then asked.

"It's not really a club, you know?"

"I don't know if I want to be alone in a room with Nagato and Tsuruya and Asakura. You know what I mean?"

"What? Oh, you worry too much. Just go and have fun. I'm the one who has problems."

"If you insist."

- x -

Later that evening, I was just laying in bed reading. It was a habit that I had developed a long time ago. Right as I was thinking that I was too depressed to enjoy a good book, I noticed this short bluish creature staring at me. I had been warned about this, but I had expected something like this to happen a week ago.

"You should just keep reading," a voice came to me. It seemed to be coming from the entity, itself. I have no idea how it worked, but I could just hear it in my mind as clearly as anyone actually speaking to me. There just wasn't any sound, is all.

"Yeah, no," I said, not at all comfortable with this situation. "I don't think I can do that."

"Did I startle you?" she asked. It seemed feminine. Don't ask me how, it just did.

I answered, "I was going to do my homework, but..."

"Since when do you ever do that right away?" she asked.

"I like homework, actually," I stated.

"Oh?"

"High school is the first time anything has been seriously challenging."

"So, why are you reading that?"

Why was I reading this? Well, because it was funny, for one. A little comedy every now and then is a good thing. I set the book aside and took a good look at this creature. It just seemed very strange and blue and I had trouble believing I wasn't asleep.

"I'm a very proud person," she added. "You should realize that, right?"

"Yeah," I answered.

She explained, "I can't just come out and tell anyone exactly what I'm thinking."

"Okay."

"Because... Then I would start to really hate myself. You know?"

"I think I understand."

"Really?"

"It's not hard for me to guess, and you really shouldn't be so worried."

"Why is that?"

"How would it look if I let a loony like Shigeru Kida upstage me? I mean, that guy still thinks of you like a god."

"That's funny. Does he really?"

"Yeah."

"At least he isn't as obnoxious as Koizumi."

"Obnoxious?"

"Speaking of which..."

She then began to gesture in a meaningful way, and I took this to mean that there was something behind me. I looked, and all I could see was this red light outside my bedroom window. I then heard a soft tapping, and I opened the window.

"Hi," came the voice of Koizumi. "Am I interrupting?"

I looked, and I noticed Koizumi floating within a red sphere. I hadn't really appreciated what I'd been told about him or his powers, but now I absolutely couldn't deny it.

I turned and told the creature, "It's probably time to go."

"Okay," she said. "Tell him to go land somewhere."

"Oh, right," I said, remembering when Koizumi had told me how he was powerless outside of these curious situations.

- x -

I felt strangely relieved after that incident, though I had no way to really know whether it had actually happened. Maybe it was just a dream. I never found the courage to ask Koizumi about it. It's probably just as well.

The next day, Haruhi came over for a visit as I was playing a video game with my little sister.

"Hey," I said. "I wasn't sure whether to expect you."

"Yeah," she said. "Well, I suddenly felt like I was being ridiculous."

I then said, "I'm sorry I've been holding out on you."

"That's okay," she said. "I'm sorry, too."

Sister then asked, "You have a girlfriend?"

"Didn't I tell you about her?" I asked. I could swear I did.

She then complained, "I didn't think she was this cute." She then asked Haruhi, "Are you sure you want to date a guy like this?"

"Isn't she precious?" I asked. I then asked my sister, "You want me to tell Mom what kind of books you and your friends have been reading, lately?"

Sister looked even more precious when she was looking away in shame. It wasn't as bad as you might be thinking, but she still didn't want the scolding she would get if I ratted her out.

"You shake down your little sister?" Haruhi chided me. "Aren't you ashamed of yourself?"

"Should I be?" I asked.

Haruhi then told her, "Let's go talk in private. There's a few things you should know."

- x -

Haruhi then stayed for dinner, which was surprising. I don't know why, but my sister could only look at me with what seemed like pity or admiration. I'm not sure how to judge which is which without some context. Anyway, I went for a walk with Haruhi, afterward (getting as far as the park before finally losing my little sister). From then on, it was nice and romantic. This counts in my book.

"So, what did you think?" I asked.

Haruhi answered, "Your mother is perky, isn't she?"

"She is," I agreed.

"People who are that cheerful are up to something."

"That's funny, because she says the same thing about you. Only, she doesn't quite say it with words."

Haruhi looked doubtful, but it was true. My mother just gives me funny looks whenever I raise a subject related to Haruhi. Oh well. It's not like my mother hated her. I just got the feeling she didn't exactly trust Haruhi all that much.

"So, what do you think?" I then asked.

"Of what?" she asked.

"Am I interesting enough for you?" I answered, not even slightly serious.

"No way," she answered, very earnest. "You're probably the most normal person I've ever met."

"Sheesh," I said. Kunikida was right. She used that word "normal" as if it were the basest, most despicable trait a person could have.

She then complained, "I can't believe a guy like you would ever interest an alien or a time traveler."

"How about a beautiful girl?" I asked. She then frowned at me, and I hastened to add, "I mean, you. You interested in a little romance?"

"No," she answered.

"No?" I asked.

"I want to get to know you," she explained. "The real you. Is that hard to believe?"

"Not really," I answered.

"I had this weird dream last night," she added.

I think I know what it was she dreamed, actually.

"I don't quite remember it," she continued, "but it made me feel like I shouldn't worry about anything."

"Really?" I said.

"What type of books do you like?" she asked.

"Anything, really," I answered. "Mostly sci-fi and comedy. I like a little romance."

She groaned and curiously added, "I really did want to win that tennis match."

"I believe it," I said.

She then complained, "I wasn't expecting Koizumi to show up when he did. I mean, why did he transfer like that?"

"He is a strange person, I think," I said.

"You've talked to him?" she asked.

"We've had some interesting discussions," I admitted.

"I kind of freaked out," she explained. "You know?"

"I know," I said.

I then took her hand. She didn't want a little romance, but maybe it was okay if I insisted. I looked in her eyes, and it seemed to me like she did hesitate. After that moment, though, I think I did persuade her. She didn't seem hesitant at all when I went to kiss her, and in fact she seemed pretty eager.

"Oh, crap," she complained. "That didn't just happen, did it?"

"You tell me," I said.

She then smiled and answered, "Okay, but you're in for a wild ride. Don't start regretting it."

"I won't," I answered. "Not this time."

What can I say? I'm like a Jedi. I'm strong with the Force, somehow. I don't know how it works, but who cares? And isn't it better that way?

I explained, "Just something weird Miss Asakura told me."

"Did you and her...?" she asked.

"No," I answered. "I swear."

- x -

- Fin

- x -

- Extra

- Aberrant data

At the club room. Kyon notices just Yuki in the room.

Kyon: Hey there.

He sits at the table.

Kyon: About this "aberrant data" I may be forced to confront. Any idea when that's going to happen?

Yuki: The likelihood of that has increased. And it will be very soon.

Kyon: ...

Yuki: Within one week from today.

Kyon: So, if it doesn't happen, then I'm in the clear?

She nods.

Kyon: My "special" abilities relate to that?

Yuki: You possess the ability to perceive verbalized patterns from the aberrant data, and can interact with that data.

Kyon: So, I can basically talk with celestials?

Yuki: In their passive state, I should amend. It is unknown what a more turbulent encounter might produce. The patterns you perceive may not take a coherent form.

Kyon: You've witnessed this?

Yuki: Yes.

Kyon: What type of patterns?

Yuki: In the account you gave, you were able to elicit imaginative, sympathetic, and discriminative responses.

Kyon: Doesn't that seem like a life form?

Yuki: The aberrant data indicated a strong affinity with Haruhi Suzumiya. Its apparent lifelike qualities may simply be a projection or an extrapolation.

Kyon: So, you really don't know what it is?

Yuki: That's right. Therefore, I term it an aberration.

Kyon: What brought on this "data aberration?" Was there a time when it began?

Yuki: Yes. The form took shape within the intersection of the second and third time planes.

Kyon: Why was there an intersection?

Yuki: You created a temporal fork in the second time plane, along with Mikuru Asahina and Haruhi Suzumiya. The data aberration appeared just before you returned to the second time plane. The intersection was that period of time between the first temporal anomaly and the second.

Kyon: And Koizumi really thinks that closed spaces are between dimensions?

Yuki: Yes.

Kyon: How did those come about?

Yuki: They initiated in the third time plane, almost three years after the intersection.

Kyon: So, there was a time when a celestial might appear outside of a closed space?

She nods.

Kyon: Have they appeared outside since the close spaces started?

Yuki: No.

Kyon: ...

Yuki: You have speculated that these aberrations are the accumulation of the memories of Haruhi Suzumiya.

Kyon: Anything else?

Yuki: You were able to command it, and it obeyed.

Kyon: That's good to know.

- x -

- Too much

At the club room. Kyon and Yuki are reading, and Asakura shows up.

Asakura: (sitting) Well, I tried. Don't blame me when things...

Kyon: Yes?

She puts her head in arms on the table.

Asakura: I can't take this. Why do you always do this to me?

Kyon: Something the matter?

Asakura: It's the second time plane all over again.

Kyon: What happened, then?

Asakura: Suzumiya became a famous movie star in that time plane.

Kyon: Seriously?

Asakura: That was dreadful.

Kyon: I don't think she's interested in show biz.

Asakura: You think so? Tennis isn't all that different.

Kyon: ...

Asakura: I can see it now. Playing the world circuit. Getting into the top ten. Making a name for herself. She'll be coaching and doing commentary by 2022.

Kyon: That doesn't sound too bad.

Asakura: It's the same domestic situation. The same type of relationships. The same kind of challenges. Every damn day, the same thing. Bleh.

Kyon: You worry too much, you know?

Asakura: What?

Kyon: Try living life like this is the first day for a change. All this fretting about the future is what's messed you up.

Asakura: ...

- x -

- Unique

At the tennis courts. Kyon and Asakura watching Kunikida and Tsuruya hitting around.

Kyon: ...

Asakura: Oh, and by the way...

Kyon: Yes?

Asakura: There's this cat...

Kyon: A cat? What about it?

Asakura: This cat also has the ability to speak to celestials.

Kyon: Really?

Asakura: Yep. A cat named Shamisen.

Kyon: You just made that up, right?

Asakura: No.

Kyon: ...

Asakura: So, it's not really unique, this ability of yours.

- x -

- Tennis

Proofreader: You're a tennis nut, I take it?

Author: I love it.

Proofreader: So, you're a big Serena fan?

Author: (laughing) No.

Proofreader: Who do you like?

Author: Federer and Nadal, of course.

Proofreader: That goes without saying. But is there someone in particular you like?

Author: Any particular reason you ask?

Proofreader: I'm just wondering if there's any special inspiration for all this.

Author: ...

Proofreader: I'm thinking you're about the right age to be a Johnny Mac fan.

Author: Maybe.

Proofreader: This story does have that super brat feel to it.

Author: You are way too hip to all this to just be a casual fan.

Proofreader: My old girlfriend was heavily into tennis.

Author: I see.

Proofreader: Everyday, it was Johnny Mac this, Johnny Mac that.

Author: So, you can relate?

Proofreader: ...

Author: Don't worry. This is a one time deal. I promise.

- x -


	51. Tumbling

Origins of Haruhi - The Ends of the Earth

- x -

- Foreword

Of all these stories of the previous time planes, I find this one the most believable, and yet somehow the most difficult to swallow. I think I find my attitude and my ability to assess what's going on around me to be the most impressive of all the accounts I've ever written, and yet I find it inescapable that I'm really the bad guy in all this. I didn't intend for the world to get destroyed ten times over, but I did cause that to happen. I'd guess you could say that I'm guilty of instigating this mass slaughter. That's the part I find hard to swallow. I can't blame the destruction on Haruhi. She's completely oblivious to it. I can't really blame Asakura, either (as the me who wrote this seems to be implying). Asakura was simply providing the circumstances within which this could happen. I seemed to be providing the ammunition.

That aside, this is an enjoyable story, and it at last answers the question of why that time quake had occurred in my time (somewhat indirectly, that is). It seems to me that you either have a time quake of some kind, or there is the possibility of the world getting destroyed. Between the two, I think most people could live with the time quake. I also appreciate why this was kept secret from me. I didn't need all that pressure. And later, when the time quake situation was finally resolved, I guess Yuki Nagato felt like it would spoil the fun to let me know before now.

Yuki was very reluctant to say anything about this particular time plane. In fact, she can barely stand to hear people make reference to it. I guess when it comes right down to it, she had built up all this great pride in her analytical ability. So, when circumstances proved her wrong, it was a great blow to her own ego. It's a little shocking to me, even now, to discover that she does have something like an ego and even pride in herself. I sometimes wonder whether the blow to her pride was worse than discovering that she had pride. It's a very uncomfortable thought, but that's not unusual for Yuki. Asakura also bluntly explains what (she thinks) is wrong with Yuki. It seems plausible, though I must confess that I have trouble believing Yuki's problems are really that simple.

There's also the bizarre situation of me having played guitar since at least early on in the seventh grade. I can't even begin to comprehend how that had happened, but this wouldn't be the first time my fate had inexplicably changed in some weird way. Itsuki Koizumi insists that he can remember this time plane, and he informed me that this was all true (though he conveniently can't remember ever encountering me in a clothing store or a snack shop). He does very vividly remember Mikuru Asahina, though. It was a little bizarre to hear him give his own perspective on some of the things that happened in chapter four. I felt like I had gone from reading historical fiction to reading a real autobiography that had somehow really happened despite me not being able to remember it.

This story really speaks to me about Haruhi, though. She can read my emotions, I think, better than I can. It's very important that she understands where they're coming from, or misunderstandings like this are certainly possible. This wasn't the first time I've dealt with her remarkable ability to read me, but this does present the interesting problem of what to do when our purposes find themselves at odds with each other. Do I just go along with her wishes and follow her? Or do I find another path? Is the other path a better one, and can I really follow it without too much collateral damage? Which way is better in the long run? Or which path is better in which circumstance? These are all very difficult questions that I find troubling to this day.

- x -

- Chapter 1: Tumbling

One cold evening in December, I found myself heading toward a cafe at the edge of a shopping district, thinking I was getting a little too old to be acting coy and wondering whether a certain girl would start to take me seriously. I'm not one to boldly approach anyone with my ridiculous ideas or aspirations, but it couldn't have passed my attention that I was in my second year of college. I had that heady optimism that always ensues when a young man finds himself heading toward an almost certain career prospect, and I was starting to wonder if anyone would take notice of all this good fortune.

The problem with good fortune is that it always has a way of quickly becoming ill fortune, in particular when you start to feel like no one else is really interested in noticing. That's the part that always gets me, anyway. It's especially annoying when you go to a lot of time and trouble to achieve something brilliant, and no one really appreciates it. The world starts to seem barren and intimidating when you think of it this way, so no surprise that I was starting to get a little depressed in spite of my upbeat circumstances.

I began to think that maybe things weren't destined to work out so well, and I was just kidding myself about my future. Could I really trust my friends well enough to put my future in their hands in the first place? It was a scary thought, but it was also a little exciting. Then there was the matter of this girl. Yuki Nagato. I was starting to wonder if she really wasn't an alien android (as she sometimes insisted she was). That, of course, was just ridiculous. I would smirk and berate myself at that point in my life for such a thought.

Yuki had called me earlier that evening, inviting me to sit down with her at the cafe. She had been gone for a couple months, and I just assumed that this meeting with her was to settle some personal issues. She was destined to tour with Haruhi Suzumiya for a few more years before she could think of settling down. Meanwhile, I would continue to be a college student, earning my way toward a better salary than I would have been able to expect otherwise.

When I saw her at the cafe, I had the unexpected pleasure of seeing Yuki in a more casual pose than normal. She would ordinarily be stiff and formal and in every way proper. In this particular instance, I was very pleased to see her giving the impression of elegance and simplicity. In fact, her semblance was marred only by the cigarette between her fingers. It repulses me, but I also have this perverse enjoyment in seeing her smoke. I'm not sure why, but it really turns me on.

"Hey," I said, approaching her. "What's up?"

"Please have a seat," she responded, gesturing across the table.

I sat and immediately asked, "This about the club?"

"No," she answered.

"You're coming around on the dating thing?" I then asked.

She didn't immediately deny it, so that seemed like a confirmation. I was also relieved that she hadn't wanted to discuss something related to a certain club I had joined at college. I'm not sure why she might have wanted to discuss it. It was just something like a weird hunch tugging at the back of my mind.

"Well, damn," I said, remarking, "It's been what? Five years now?"

"Four years," she corrected.

"I guess it only seems that long," I added.

"Yes," she agreed.

She hardly seemed at all like the same person she had been in high school. In high school, she was extremely terse and robotic in everything she did. Over a mere four years, she was becoming friendly and engaging, though she was still fairly severe and abrupt in her manner. This may sound strange, but I find all this very enthralling. To think that she might give sway to some romantic impulse was starting to put me into a state of euphoria.

"So, what do you want to do?" I asked.

She put out her cigarette and took another long look at me.

"We could just go to my place," I offered.

"Please be serious," she said.

"I am serious," I responded, catching a momentary look of surprise cross her face. "Didn't you have something going on with Koizumi?"

"No," she answered.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"You really want to know?" she asked.

"No," I answered. "I thought you did have a thing going there, though."

Itsuki Koizumi was some philosopher Adonis that had drawn Yuki's attention back in high school. I couldn't help but notice that they were together frequently enough that other girls would glare at her a little more menacingly than you would normally expect.

"We work well together," she explained. "That does not necessarily mean that we can engage each other's company."

"You thought I might have had something with Haruhi?" I asked.

I'm not sure what I was expecting from that question, but from the way Yuki glanced downward, it was obvious that she had been expecting something between Haruhi and myself to develop.

"I mean," I added, "it was kind of funny, but I never seriously considered..."

"Perhaps you should just stop there," she said.

"Yeah," I agreed, thinking again about what I was about to say.

She then requested, "Please consider the consequences of your actions."

I couldn't resist, so I then asked, "You want to have some fun? We could kiss right in front of her." I was in the mood for it, too. I would have done it had she said yes.

- x -

In fact, there were very few things I would not have said yes to, had she asked. She kindly asked me whether I truly found her beautiful, and I answered a very affirmative. She asked me how I felt about her, and I honestly informed her of the fire that had settled in my heart of hearts. She then sweetly accused me of lying, and I responded to that with a kiss.

I don't think Yuki had honestly realized what it meant to be romantic, and though she seemed willing to learn, it did seem like a bit of a revelation to her. I'm not the type to push anyone into anything, so this consumed the hours of the evening. It would be rude to go into detail, but suffice it to say that she not only learned what it meant to be female, she seemed (in my eyes) to go from being a girl to a woman.

I then suddenly found myself in my own bed, stirring to a wakened state. I guess it wasn't much of a surprise to find Yuki there, sitting on the floor next to my bed. She had a small light directed toward a small book she was reading.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"It's two," she answered, and I confirmed that by looking at the clock.

"I kind of feel like something to eat," I lied, nevertheless starting to get up. "You want something?"

"No thank you," she plainly answered.

I stood and slowly balanced myself in a standing position. This isn't as easy as you might think at two in the morning. I then asked her, "You don't think it's a little strange?"

"What?"

"Getting up to eat at two in the morning?"

"Is it?"

I smiled at myself, content to have merely amused myself. "You could at least scold me, or something," I complained, starting to lay down again.

"Don't be ridiculous," she stated in her usual monotone.

"That's it," I encouraged her. "Only, with more feeling..."

"Stop being stupid," she then mildly scolded me.

"Thank you," I answered.

"Go back to sleep," she added.

"Good night," I said, closing my eyes and starting to drift to sleep.

"Good night," she said.

Something lurked in the darkness, though. I wasn't sure, but it seemed menacing. I suddenly found myself unable to sleep, and I began to feel a little uneasy about the suddenness of it all.

"Let me ask you something," I said.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Is this something we should be doing?" I asked. "I mean, you don't have a problem with me, do you?"

"Why do you ask?" she answered.

"I don't know," I replied. "I just feel like there's something missing."

"You persist in being skeptical," she explained.

"Yeah," I agreed, "about aliens and whatever."

She added, "You have developed trust issues because of your doubts."

"So?" I prompted.

"It's nothing," she answered. "Just go to sleep."

"Okay," I said. I had really just needed to hear her voice. I could feel how she wasn't merely in the room, but with me in a very real sense. It very much put me at ease to think this way.

She then put down her book and informed me, "For what it's worth, I am more at ease like this."

"Really?" I asked, wondering if she was reading my mind.

"Yes," she answered. "It would be difficult if you left."

"Okay," I resolved. "So, I won't leave."

She then looked at me in a curious way that I couldn't identify, and that made me wonder.

"Trust issues?" I asked.

"It's nothing," she repeated.

"Okay," I said. It was a mystery, but Yuki is a very mysterious person. It wouldn't really be strange for her to talk like this and never really explain it.

- x -

Something else I couldn't explain was the mind of Ryoko Asakura. I spotted her that morning at the library, as I was looking through shelves for something to satisfy my curiosity on a certain matter involving windmills.

"In the fiction section?" she asked me.

"Oh, hey," I said, noticing her. "What's up?"

"What are you doing here?" she asked. "I thought you would be with Nagato."

"We had a little fight."

"Oh? What was it about?"

I expect most people to be curious about things like this, but there was also this gleam in her eyes that told me how very foreign this whole concept was to her. In the four or so years I had known her, she hadn't once said anything startling or in a way that I might think of as provocative. Not that she did say all that much to me in high school, but still. I've always had this feeling that there was really two people trapped in her one body, and they both very much enjoyed the notion of being the same person.

"I absolutely must know," she nicely insisted. "Don't hold out on me."

I sighed, admitting, "My mother called, and Yuki picked up the phone. That was..."

Asakura softly chuckled while I continued.

"...kind of awkward," I said. "I might get written out of her will at this rate."

I should point out that Ryoko Asakura is a very attractive young woman. I don't think I'd have been this forthright had she not been. Even so, I became a little disgusted with myself and began to casually retreat with my book to a nearby table. She followed me, somewhat to my annoyance.

"It's fun," she softly remarked. "I mean, these little dramas you always seem to have."

"Don't you have something better to do?" I asked.

"Not really," she answered.

"You really should get a boyfriend," I advised her. "Bugging me isn't doing you any good."

"Are you picking a fight with me, now?" she asked.

"Maybe," I answered, curious to see whether I could provoke her.

"How thoughtful," she sincerely stated, casually sitting next to me. "I love it when you try to pick a fight with me."

"You are the type to hold a grudge," I noted. "That's true."

"I am not," she denied, looking a little annoyed by my accusation.

I wondered for a moment whether she might get a grudge from my accusation, and it briefly struck me how she didn't really know herself that well. I guess if you're self-centered, you might not have the ability to see yourself all that clearly.

She then added, "You're a really lousy judge of character, you know?"

"I am?" I said, thinking that I had been right on the money.

"I never realized it before," she answered, "but lately..."

"Yes?" I prompted.

"Wait a minute," she said. "You still cling to your mother?"

"Jeez," I said, a little wary of what this comment portended.

"Your mother's milk is still wet on your face?" she prodded.

"You made your point," I complained.

"Now, I understand," she added. "Yes. This could be the thing."

"The thing that does what?" I asked.

She replied, "That drives Nagato to drinking."

"Really?" I asked, having a hard time picturing that.

She answered, "I've seen her eyeing a bottle of whiskey for some time."

Not for the first time, I found it odd that Asakura would know Nagato so well. In fact, this was more observant than me. I reflected for a moment on a small collection of alcoholic beverages Yuki had been saving. I had been thinking that she was saving them for other people to consume, but now it occurred to me that I might have been a little optimistic in my appraisal of that situation.

I then remarked, "I think one bad habit is quite enough."

"Oh, of course," she said. "And I absolutely agree with you."

"Now that I think about it, though..." I added.

"Yes?" she asked.

I answered, "She does have a bad habit of eating lots of takeout really quickly."

"She likes to collect bad habits," Asakura supplied.

"I really shouldn't talk," I said. "I mean, with all the bad habits I have."

"My only bad habit is men," she admitted.

I never see her with anyone, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. For all I know, she could have men lined up to date her. It just seemed a little strange, especially as I had never noticed anything throughout high school. In fact, she seemed oddly prudish. It didn't really agree with her personality, and I wondered (not for the first time) why there was this inconsistency.

"Seriously," she complained. "I can't see eye-to-eye with you humans, anyway. So, why do I keep coming back for more?"

I answered, "Maybe you aren't as completely alien as you think."

If Asakura had her way, I would just assume that she was Yuki's subordinate. It didn't help my cause that Yuki insisted the same thing (and would even go into some disturbing details on the matter). It just seemed so wrong to think of them as alien. I couldn't accept it.

Asakura then remarked, "A nice college environment is about as close as it gets."

"Close enough for what?" I asked.

"Thoughtful contemplation, of course," she answered. "You've seen me meditating, right?"

"I have?" I asked, registering this remark as definitely the first mention of such a thing.

She then softly complained, "You aren't very observant, either."

"Maybe I'm blinded by your radiant beauty."

"Why, thank you."

"I was being..."

"I can read the tone in your voice. I was overlooking it for your sake."

I then paused to make note of this moment: the first where she seemed truly annoyed with me. "We don't really get along, do we?" I asked, just to make sure she would mark this moment in her own mind.

"I know," she said very pleasantly. "Isn't it weird? And we have so much in common."

"We do?" I asked.

She answered, "Enough that I'm anxiously awaiting your autobiography. You haven't started on that, have you?"

"Should I have?" I asked, annoyed at that thought.

"I take it that means you haven't," she said.

"Why on Earth would I ever...?" I started to ask.

"Oh, yes," she then softly remarked. "I almost forgot your disagreeable for the sake of being disagreeable side. How amusing."

"As a matter of fact," I stated, "I remember once promising myself that I would never write an autobiography."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered very firmly.

"When was that?" she asked.

"When I was nine," I replied. "Maybe I was eight. I forget."

"What prompted that?" she then asked.

"My mother, actually," I then replied. "I had this comic book I dearly loved. I forget what it was called, but I really enjoyed reading it. I read it nearly everyday. Anyway, she took that comic book and sold it. I got upset when I found out about that. I threatened to tell everyone at school what a terrible mother she was."

Asakura then gaped in an amusing way for a couple moments, then complained, "Oh, wow. Why am I just now hearing about this?"

I answered, "I'm just now remembering it. Anyway, she gave me the money and told me to go buy it back if I loved it so much. I felt so bad, I took the money and spent it on a gift for her."

It didn't seem real, me admitting all this. Nevertheless, I couldn't stop myself. I just had to tell someone, and who better than Asakura?

I continued, "I still felt bad about losing my comic book, though. Enough that I probably would feel obligated to write about it in an autobiography. I knew if I did that, it would just break her heart. I swore I wouldn't do that."

Asakura then slyly asked me, "So, this whole conversation is something you wouldn't dare write about, right?"

"No way," I answered, a little horrified at the thought. "I'd have to be nuts to want to preserve this."

- x -

Of course, when you get older, your attitude toward your memory and the way you can preserve it changes. I used to think certain things were trivial and annoying (that I now think of as significant).

Around lunch time, I found myself wandering into the club room. It was an amusing pastime, though it seemed a little pointless, lately. The only person left, aside from myself, was a man who was busy preparing for whatever career he was entering. He wasn't normally there, though he was on that day.

"Reading?" I asked, as I sat at the table across from him.

"Oh, hey," he said, noticing me. "What's up?"

"'What's up?'" I asked, wondering where this attitude came from.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Nothing," I replied. "Just..."

It seemed very unlike him. I should mention that this man is Shigeru Kida. He's a very ordinary man, though possessed of a certain contentment that makes me think of him as the male version of Ryoko Asakura. He just has a very studious way, and he reads every now and then.

"I apologize," he then said. "I guess I shouldn't try to be casual. I don't seem to have a knack for it."

"Where are the others?" I asked.

He seemed surprised by that question, and it occurred to me that our former club members wouldn't necessarily have some obligation to make their whereabouts known to us.

I added, "I mean, do you know?"

"I know," he answered. "I'm just wondering why you don't."

"Is Haruhi still...?" I began.

"Yes," he answered. "It's probably for the best. I shudder to think of the alternative."

I remarked, "I could have told her who Michael Jackson was."

"Anyone could have," he stated. "The real question is why we weren't warned."

"By who?" I wondered.

He sighed and put down his book, remarking, "I happen to know your friend Asakura likes it when disasters occur, but I wonder about Nagato. She seems like the sensible type."

"How would they...?" I started to ask.

He explained, "They have a great deal more information than us. If they chose not to warn us, it was probably because doing so would create a worse situation for themselves."

I then mocked him, "Why would Haruhi need warnings, anyway? Isn't she a deity?"

He sadly shook his head and asked, "So, Yuki Nagato is your lover, now?"

I should have known better than to chide him for his former idiotic notions. I just couldn't resist, but then there was this unaccountable disappointment he also had toward me.

"I have to hand it to you, though," he admitted. "You've played this situation out well. If you were to play your cards right, you could prove me a liar."

I then remarked, "I often find myself wondering if you're ever going to explain all these cryptic statements."

"No," he answered, smiling. "You wouldn't believe me, anyway."

"Touche," I said.

"You must really enjoy annoying your mother," he added.

"Okay, that was a little low."

"Sorry. You're right."

- x -

It would be kind of silly for me to describe who Haruhi Suzumiya is or what this incident was that she had recently endured. Having heard Kida describe it as a "disaster" had put it firmly in my mind, and I could only imagine where Haruhi was hiding out from the world.

For those of you who happen to have been living under a rock for the past ten years, I should just point out that Haruhi had gone to a certain award ceremony. During one of the presentations, she had coldly remarked that she had had no idea who this Michael Jackson person was (much to the brief amusement and dawning horror and disgust of her audience). She was now no doubt still feeling the consequences of that little gaffe, and I could only pity her, though I had felt nothing but amused disgust for her all throughout high school.

And this just brought to mind all the weird things I had witnessed from her in high school (which I should just briefly mention for the time being). I had thought that Haruhi's reputation in high school was as low as a person could go. I stood corrected.

That afternoon, I arranged a meeting with Yuki at a fast food place. She is a sucker for this type of thing, and I was a little mesmerized to watch as she ate.

"Sorry about this morning," I said. "I got a little worked up."

"It's nothing," she responded.

"It would be nice if we all got along," I remarked.

"Yes."

"I envy the man who can get along with Asakura, though."

Much as I like Asakura, she is a troublesome creature. I always seem to find myself facing confusing paradoxes whenever I confront her. A good example is how bafflingly nice she always is. I have a feeling that if she were to ever really lose her temper, it would be in one of those situations where her fury reached biblical proportions. Thus, though her manner and her soft tone of voice always put me at ease, I also feel as though I'm treading on thin ice with her.

"Does she really...?" I started to ask.

Yuki then looked at me with a glare like liquid nitrogen shooting from her eyes.

"Never mind," I quickly relented.

She then stated, "Asakura is far more thoughtful than I had believed possible."

"Really?" I asked, unable to picture her as even less thoughtful than now.

"I was wrong about her," Yuki added.

"In what way?" I asked.

Yuki answered, "She has taken Suzumiya's situation to heart. She hides it well, but she worries that this situation will explode out of control."

"How can you tell?" I asked.

"Her meditations," she answered.

"Any idea what she meditates about?"

"The situation. It's becoming worse."

"You mean, Haruhi's situation?"

"Yes."

"I wasn't sure it could get worse."

"It will."

I'm always a little leery of Yuki's crystal ball. Somehow, things always seem to revolve around me, and I'm never quite sure why or how to deal with it.

Nevertheless, I prompted, "How will that happen?"

"You," she answered. "The problem is that you have trust issues, and those conflict with her expectations."

"This again?" I asked. Again with the trust issues?

Yuki explained, "She expects you to give her all the information she wants, but that expectation was the result of a temporal anomaly."

I asked, "Some other me told her there were aliens and time travelers?"

"That's right," she answered. "And since you don't believe in aliens and time travelers, you aren't able to give her the acknowledgement that she seeks."

I then asked, "What if I just told her that she has this ability to make things happen subconsciously?"

"That would be worse," she answered.

"How?"

"Trust me."

Any time Yuki says 'trust me,' it really means that she doesn't know. And she doesn't want to find out. That's one of those big problem areas that she prefers to avoid, and I can kind of see it from her angle. If Haruhi ever became serious about doing weird things, it would outdo anything I could imagine up to this point, I would think.

"Okay," I said, then proposing, "Well, what would happen if I told her that aliens were real and that I happen to know a few?"

"She would not take you seriously," Yuki answered.

I laughed and realized, "So, there's really nothing I can do, either way?"

"If there is a solution," Yuki answered, "it will need to be your doing."

"A solution to what?" I asked.

"The world being destroyed," she replied.

That would certainly qualify as the situation getting worse. I don't think I could just call that Haruhi's problem and then choose to ignore it. This was something that I doubt I could have simply disbelieved, either.

"Seriously," she answered my look of utter disbelief.

"How do you know?" I couldn't help but ask.

She answered, "Because we are caught in a temporal loop. This has already occurred seven times."

"How exactly...?" I began, but I wasn't sure how to end this question.

She explained, "Subconsciously, Suzumiya panics and spreads her aberrant data at an increasingly accelerated rate until the corrosive alternate spaces cause the underlying space to deteriorate. The space-time continuum then resets to some previous time. Usually, a day or so earlier."

"That sounds awfully vague," I complained.

She answered, "This is as best as can be determined, given the lack of data."

"How exactly does this aberrant data work?" I asked.

She answered, "That is unknown, however it appears to have some relation to her intangible motives."

I then asked, "The less secure she feels, the more likely she is to hurl this world into oblivion, you mean?"

"That is incorrect," she answered. "That is a misconception. The real trigger is more fundamental than a feeling of security or the sensation of having social acceptance."

"What is it?"

"You would perhaps term it her ego."

"You mean her pride?"

"No. I mean her ego."

I really felt like this situation was more about pride, but if she insisted. Well, I could hardly correct her. She had witnessed the world being destroyed seven times, already.

- x -

Shortly afterward, I found myself wandering a nearby park in search of some meaning to all this. This situation was like an open door that I had seen at some point but couldn't remember where it was. Very irritating.

I then sat and listened to my MD player. Appropriately enough, I was listening to Haruhi's solo album for what was probably the tenth or so time. I found that the more I listened to it, the more I really liked it. I was starting to get that feeling like I was floating on the sound when I noticed Haruhi herself, looking surprised to see me.

"Hey," I said, unplugging from my music for a moment. "Didn't expect to see you here."

Haruhi then stopped and looked at me, briefly looking as though she was having trouble recognizing me.

"You've been a little out of touch," I complained.

"I know," she said, grimacing. "You suddenly decided to romance my best writer."

"Suddenly?" I said, wondering about that.

She frowned and asked, "What are you doing, then?"

"I'm just an ordinary college student," I answered.

"Yeah, right," she said.

"And since when is Yuki your writer?" I asked. "Didn't you decide to go solo?"

"No need to rub it in," she said, looking as though I had offended her.

I then remarked, "I really liked what you did on that first album. That was surprisingly good."

"You liked that, huh?"

"Yeah. It was strange and new. Why didn't you just stick with doing that?"

It was strange because it was so new, and (now that I've thought about it) it sounded the way it did because we were just 'tumbling' into it. Yuki with her odd perspective was probably the most obviously strange part of it, but me with my quaintly familiar riffs was probably just as unusual as anything else.

Haruhi then sat beside me and took a good look at me. "Are you just going to annoy me? Would Yuki get jealous if she saw us speaking?"

"How did you come up with that?" I asked. "I mean, in the first album. You've never explained that."

She answered, "It was you, okay? Once you started with that guitar, I just came up with a kind of verbal ostinato. The fact that it didn't exactly repeat was more because of where that kind of thing comes from."

"Whatever makes you happy?" I prodded her. As usual, I found myself unable to make sense of her explanations.

"It's more like a sickness," she added. "I just feed it my words, and that's the result. How you came up with those guitar pieces is something I can't figure out."

"Oh," I said, finding that simple enough to understand. "Well, in my case, it just seemed like something my guitar wanted to tell me."

This may sound cliched and moronic, but I really do feel like my guitars have personality. It isn't just some sentimental thing, either. I really feel like my guitars are leading me through a strange and misty jungle of sound. I often get the anxious feeling that they're going to leave me behind, and I like to stay as close as I can (in a manner of speaking).

I then smiled and remarked, "I guess we're both really freaks of nature."

"Nothing like Yuki," she casually stated. "Her stuff is really dreary."

"Really?" I said. "I thought it was delicate and suggestive."

Yuki is oddly fixated on the notion of consciousness and identity. It makes a lot more sense in retrospect, but I just found it oddly mysterious when we were producing those songs. In fact, the song 'Peace of Mind' is just a figurative expression of the concept of someone slowly achieving the notion of self awareness. She also gradually became more fascinated with knives and guns, but you only see glimpses of this in the first three albums.

"Can't you go touring?" Haruhi then asked.

"You must be kidding," I responded in my usual way.

"College is crazy," she complained. "You should just drop out."

"Easy for you to say," I complained right back.

"Why don't you ever tour with me?" she asked. "You know you want to."

"Yeah," I admitted, "but you know how I hate performing. Especially in front of a live audience."

"Live is the best!" she declared, grinning. "And there's really nothing in the world like when you dive off the stage into a crowd and you float out there in a sea of hands."

I grimaced and softly remarked, "You would do something like that."

She then complained, "I just wish they wouldn't boo me when I play my stuff."

Weird. I asked, "You don't get a sea of hands for 'Feed Me Kisses?'"

"Only with 'Being Sure,'" she answered. "Everybody loves it. It really pisses me off."

So, even when she toured her new album, she did old songs. Haruhi would have never done that two years ago. That she had sunk this low... She must have really been hearing people complain.

I wondered, "'Being Sure?' But that's a really slow song."

"I know," she agreed, "but it's that one part of the song..."

It then hit me, "Oh, after the second bridge?"

"Yeah," she answered. "It works so perfectly for that kind of thing."

I then stated, "'Double Cross' was really the best album."

"Really?" she said.

"I should have just quit after that," I added. I really should have. "Double Cross" had the best songs I came up with (all four of them).

She then complained, "But we didn't really start to mesh until the third album."

"'Misfortune' was fun," I admitted, "but I didn't really feel it like I did in 'Double Cross.'"

"And 'My Side' was our best seller," she added, in case I cared about the money behind it. I didn't.

The first album was a self-titled "SOS Brigade" piece. It was ten songs that told the story of a girl confronting a time traveler to try and find out about aliens and espers. It was fun and crazy and strangely familiar all at the same time. It was exhausting, but I was sad to see it end when we were done producing it. Since then, we'd somehow produced four more albums in what seems like a blur of racing to get things done. And then Haruhi produced yet another album on top of that, as if to suggest that she had only been getting started.

"Yeah," I said. "'Between Deals' was like trying to top ourselves and failing. It kind of seemed a little pathetic."

"Five is our most profitable one, though," she added.

"How?" I asked, a little confused for a moment.

She explained, "That one got a lot of advertising royalties."

"Oh," I realized. "Yeah, that one did appeal to a certain mentality."

- x -

That evening, I had a chance to reflect on the evolution of the style of Haruhi's music. It had all started out adventurous and daring. There was a kind weight to it that I felt was lifting as time went on. Lately, it seemed to me like Haruhi was on the verge of experimenting with R&B (a bit like Pat Benatar did in her career, only over a much shorter period of time).

Yuki soon joined me at my place, and she seemed like she was going to settle in to a nice romantic state of mind. Eventually, however, she began hitting the sauce. She didn't seem drunk, but I wasn't going to take any chances.

"You're starting to worry me," I admitted.

"It doesn't matter," she said. "Nothing matters. It will all be over, soon."

"The world's about to be destroyed again?" I guessed.

"Yes," she answered.

"Interesting. And we'll see it happen?"

"Yes."

I had the momentary thought that this wasn't going to be at all pleasant. A world-ending event doesn't seem to me like something you would enjoy, especially someone like me who dislikes the wilder roller coasters at theme parks.

"You sure you won't join me?" she offered.

"I'm sure," I answered.

"Intoxication makes the experience less discordant," she explained.

I then asked, "Didn't you used to tell me that alcohol made you nauseous?"

"I did," she answered. "That was before I had experienced massive temporal corrosion first hand."

For Yuki to succumb to getting drunk was pretty extreme, indeed. I seriously considered joining her, and then I can't recall what happened after that.


	52. Being Sure

- Chapter 2: Being Sure

Right about now, I'll bet you're wondering how I can remember something as unlikely as the world getting destroyed. The thing that bothers me is how the world could get destroyed ten times, and I can only remember three of those times. I mean, if the mind can recall anything, it would be those moments that are the most terrifying, right? Well, not necessarily in my case. This is just the benefit of hindsight and some weird phenomenon that Yuki likes to refer to simply as "synchronization." Beyond that, I have no idea how it works. I just woke up one day and remembered all this.

The thing that connected my memory was this incident at the cafe, one cold evening in December. Yuki had just called me a little earlier, and I assumed that this was something personal that she wanted settled. There was something troubling her, and I had a strong feeling that it had something to do with the prospect of the years to come. There was this heavy feeling when I had spoken to her like she was about to talk about life-changing decisions. It had me worried, to be bluntly honest about it.

For some strange reason, I began to get a little jealous, this time around. I had the sensation that Yuki was only meeting with me to let me know that she was leaving me. I just couldn't get past it, and I began to seriously think that she had found someone else. There was definitely a feeling of rightness to it that I can't explain, and I seriously thought about not entering the cafe. I just had to know, though. You can't confront thoughts like this and not want to know for sure what's behind them.

Of course, Yuki and I had never been an item to begin with. I just felt like there really was something there, but it wasn't quite real. My mind was starting to play tricks on me. I also had this weird anxiety about the prospect of sleeping, though that seemed pretty trivial at the time. I stood outside the cafe for a minute, thinking about leaving again. I then chided myself, thinking of what Haruhi had just endured a few days ago. Haruhi had gotten a lot of bad reviews for her solo album, and then she had turned out to not know a certain very famous pop star. A lot of people were calling into question not just her skills and talents, but they were questioning whether she had had anything to do with any of the previous five albums she had written most of the lyrics to. If anyone had a right to be worried about the future, it was her.

Yeah. So, why didn't I feel altogether reassured when I saw Yuki again in the cafe? She seemed a bit more casual than I remembered her, but then I recalled that I hadn't really noticed how her demeanor had been changing over the years. And when had she started smoking? I took a moment to recall that she had started that roughly around the time we had entered college. College hadn't lasted very long for Haruhi and Yuki, who had become busy touring. I sat across from her, and I felt a little relieved that at least she was giving me the same expression of expectation she usually gives me.

"Hey," I said. "What's up? This about the club?

"No," she answered.

I then plunged ahead, "You're going to tell me that you found someone, right?"

"Pardon?" she said.

"You're seeing someone?" I asked. I had to know.

"No," she answered. "In fact, I have difficulty thinking of anyone else."

"You want to go out with me?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's great."

So, all that heavy feeling had been for nothing? What on Earth was she so tense about?

"I don't get it," I complained.

"What?" she asked.

"What do you see in me?" I honestly wanted to know.

"Our love is blind," she answered in her usual monotone. Was she joking?

"Is that from a song?" I wondered.

"I enjoy being with you," she explained.

I then paused to let that sink in and then asked her, "Anything you like doing, in particular?"

She then said, "Tell me about your favorite comic books."

"Comic books?" I asked, not sure I'd heard her right.

"From when you were younger," she said. "I'd like to hear about it."

"Well..." I answered. "Okay."

- x -

Once upon a time, there were these two homeless men. They encountered a lost little boy and began trying to raise money for him so they could buy a plane ticket and the boy could go back home. They went around to all the nearby towns, trying to earn their way into enough money, but they soon discovered that raising money isn't that easy. Especially for these two, who had barely touched any money over the past ten years. What would a homeless man know about handling money? Any time they made a large windfall, they inevitably lost it all soon afterward. Before long, they had traveled all across Japan, variously doing hard tasks, performing stunts, and sometimes committing burglary. Ultimately, the boy made his own way home (and found it easier to do that than to keep hanging around with these two idiots).

I related this story from an old comic book to Yuki that evening, and it put me into a good mood. It's a good thing, because I recall waking in a terrible panic, though the memory of why I was panicked fled from me the moment after I awoke.

I then remembered that I had wanted to go buy a new outfit. That comic book story had reminded me of how, whenever I go visiting Mom and my little sister, they always complain that I like to wear the same things all the time. Thus, I decided to go visit a clothing store before my first class. I didn't have an eight o'clock class that day, so it was no big deal. As I was browsing through the racks, trying to find a good shirt, I noticed Itsuki Koizumi similarly browsing.

"Hey," I said to him. "Does Haruhi know you hang out here?"

"Hey," he responded. "Nice to see you, too."

"Or do you like shopping for clothes?" I asked, not certain I really wanted an answer.

He then answered, "I admit I have a certain fascination with my appearance. Nothing wrong with that, is there?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"Well, it just occurred to me that if anyone would know about things like this, it would be you."

Somehow, we always end up discussing things like the evils of mindless influence, the need for more sympathy in society, or just the paradoxical nature of truth. I can never seem to have a casual, normal discussion with Koizumi.

"So," I prompted, "you do like to go clothes shopping."

"That is correct," he answered, "although I think it may perhaps be more true for Miss Nagato."

"Is that so?" I asked.

"Indeed," he replied.

"I'll have to keep that in mind," I stated, hoping the conversation would continue in this vein.

"It doesn't bother you?" he then asked. "I mean, people knowing about your relationship with her?"

"Does it bother you?" I asked.

"Not really," he answered. "I mean, I did have my heart set on you finding happiness with Miss Suzumiya, but that was more of a childish aspiration than a reality."

"Is it a problem?" I wondered, thinking that he had been leading to this question.

"Not really," he repeated. He then sighed and admitted, "I've learned a lot about Miss Suzumiya over the years. It wouldn't surprise me if she turned out to be quite flexible in her own attitudes and preferences."

"That's a relief," I said.

"Is it?" he asked. "Okay, let me ask you something."

"Go ahead," I answered, mentally bracing myself.

He then predictably complained, "You've been given every opportunity to arrange for yourself a relationship with Miss Suzumiya, and yet you've resisted. I'm wondering..."

"The reason?" I guessed.

"Yes," he answered.

I asked, "Aside from the fact that she's an obnoxious, overbearing, trouble maker?"

To his credit, Koizumi didn't even raise an eyebrow at all that. I'm almost positive that he was eager to agree with me on all these points.

I then explained, "You know, I wouldn't have a problem with all that or even her attitudes and preferences if she just wasn't such an irreligious bigot."

"It's strange, isn't it?" he commented.

"Is it?" I wondered.

"I think so," he answered.

I then stated, "It's revolting, is what it is."

"Okay," he said. "Well, perhaps she is. Is that really your problem?"

"Well..." I started to answer.

"No, I don't think so," he answered for me. "Excuse me for saying so, but that's really her own problem."

"Okay," I admitted. "Fair enough."

He then remarked, "I seem to recall you had no trouble with Kida."

"He turned out to be reasonable," I answered. "I have to respect that."

"Yes," Koizumi agreed. "So, it seems. But my point is that you've already swayed one fanatic. Why not go for two?"

"I wouldn't want to push my luck," I answered. "And anyway, I think I can rely on Shigeru Kida to be a lot more reasonable than Haruhi."

"You sure about that?" he asked. "She doesn't just sneer at religions, you know. She does observe the holidays."

"Yes," I casually remarked. "She's very patronizing. That somehow makes it worse, don't you think?"

As Koizumi frowned, obviously thinking that I was correct on this point, I reflected on the fact that being very patronizing is somehow considered normal in this country. If there is one thing I find annoying about this culture, it's that it does tend to put one in too many of these idiotic parent-child type relationships.

"But you're right," I told him. "I'm being too hard on her. It is her problem, ultimately."

"That's right," he said.

I then said, "Don't ask me to overlook it when it comes to matters of romance, though. I mean, that's a completely separate issue."

He softly laughed and said, "Yes, it is. I guess there's just no swaying you, is there?"

"I'm very dogmatic about my affections," I remarked.

- x -

You might now be wondering how Yuki is an improvement over Haruhi when it comes to the issue of faith. I can answer that one pretty easily. Yuki is more open minded than even me. If she thought there was any point in being a druid, she would embrace that particular way of life. How do I know this? Because she said so, and I have no trouble believing her. Until she's comfortable with one or another way of perceiving things, she's adhered to a more agnostic approach. And she isn't one of those agnostics who only say they're agnostic but then turn out to be hedonistic deists or whatever. And I have to respect that even more than Kida's approach.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want matters of faith getting in the way of a good romance. Which is not to say that Haruhi is completely out of the question. She's really more on the borderline than that previous conversation would have you think, and she herself has admitted that she finds the idea of things being truly random to be an insultingly stupid concept. She just doesn't think it's a good idea to assume that things are orderly for a particular reason. She finds that whole concept disturbing, strange as that may sound.

The other thing that bothers me about Haruhi is the disturbing possibility that she might one day become religious. I have a feeling she would be even more wildly fanatical than she already is. This may sound a little hypocritical of me, but I'm not sure whether I prefer the thought of her being irreligious. Well, enough said.

I could probably go on and on all day about Haruhi, especially in the company of a couple old friends from high school. We sometimes liked to get together over lunch at a particular coffee shop, and I decided to make that day another one of those days. The nice thing about these guys is that their days were never too full for them to meet up with me and have one of these conversations. It was refreshing, and I really needed to lighten my mood after dealing with Koizumi.

"I'm glad she left the band," I said at one point. "She was nuts."

Kunikida remarked, "That's pretty harsh."

I asked him, "You don't think doing two albums a year on top of school is nuts?"

"You could have just slowed down," he suggested.

"I did," I answered. "I've slowed to a complete stop."

"Yeah," Taniguchi agreed. "Good riddance."

I added, "She was cramping my style, anyway."

He laughed and mockingly said, "She was stealing your spotlight."

"She was, actually," I told him.

"You think you had a shot without her?" he asked.

I could see how he thought I was implying that. I never said I resented her stealing my spotlight. As a matter of fact, I've always been grateful. She's welcome to all the fame she wants. I don't need it.

Taniguchi then stated, "You and I both know that the only reason you started playing guitar was to annoy your mom."

"That wasn't the only reason," I said, thinking back to those middle school days.

"The whole music biz is just a big scam," he complained.

I agreed, "It's getting way too commercial, that's for sure."

He added, "The copyright situation is way out of control. There's no point in getting involved."

Kunikida then observed, "The only honest people left are farmers, teachers, and truck drivers."

I saw a server walk by, and I quickly added, "And restaurant workers."

"Yes," Taniguchi agreed. "Nice save."

"Oh!" Kunikida said, looking around. "You really should warn me..."

I explained, "You seemed like you were about to make a good point. I didn't want to interrupt."

Taniguchi then said, "We should be recording this for posterity."

"There's an idea," Kunikida agreed.

"By the way..." Taniguchi started his inquiry. "I heard this rumor that you're going out with Nagato now."

"You heard that?" I asked.

"Is it true?" Kunikida asked.

"Yeah," I casually admitted. I think I was casual, anyway.

"I told you," Taniguchi said.

"Jeez," Kunikida complained, shaking his head in disgust.

"What?" I asked, wondering what this was about.

Kunikida then paid some money to Taniguchi and told me, "You suck."

"Never bet against me," Taniguchi scolded him. "You ought to know by now."

I was left to wonder just how much of a rumor it was. And why anyone would care that much.

- x -

Later that afternoon, I had a particular errand to run. For some reason, it really sticks out in my memory, though I'm not really sure why.

If you go to a particular office building, you'll find a recording studio once called "First Days." It was an office that Haruhi had rented for doing our albums (starting with the second album, anyway). Since we hardly used it, we also rented the space out to other bands (mainly just local aspiring bands). It was all properly sound proofed and wired for mixing, though it was really just a large room with a group of speakers in each corner and a mixing board at one end. If you had been there back then, you would have found it surprisingly shabby, but that's all we had to work with.

I could count on Ryoko Asakura to be there on that particular afternoon because she was still doing a few leftover jobs, including training her replacement. She normally worked at the mixer board, running the sound capture, and making sure everything was working all right. As expected, I found her sitting at the board that day while a couple guitarists stood nearby, softly chatting with each other.

"Got a minute?" I asked.

"Something on your mind?" she asked.

"It's just the rent," I answered.

"I already took care of it," she said.

"You did?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "I paid cash. Same as usual."

As usual, it puzzled me how she could get a hold of that amount of money, but then I know so little about her, I wouldn't be surprised if she knew a number of weird ways to make money.

She then added, "You should know by now that I never procrastinate things like that."

"So, who's this?" I asked, gesturing at the other two.

She smirked and answered, "Some little local band. They're doing a jingle for a coffee shop."

"Radio ads?" I asked.

"Whatever pays the bills," she explained.

"So, what's the hold up?" I then asked.

"Waiting for their drummer," she answered.

"Sheesh," I said, thinking back to when that had happened to us on a number of occasions.

She asked, "Same old story, right?"

"S-O-S," I added.

"Are you quoting Motley Crue or ABBA?" she then asked.

I laughed and asked her, "Does it make a difference?"

This was kind of an inside joke. I think we'd had this discussion before about where Haruhi had come up with the name for the old band.

"We are such shameless rip-offs," she complained.

"Tell me about it," I agreed, shaking my head in disgust.

She then remarked, "It's a pity you can't make money that way. Not anymore, anyway."

"Our lead guitarist was just short of genius," I added. By this, I was referring of course to Haruhi.

Asakura sighed and said, "Sad."

"If she had just..." I started, then said, "I don't know."

"Well," she said, "there's no point lingering on the past, right?"

"You would say that," I remarked.

As far as I knew, she would. She looked a little taken aback at the thought, though.

"Would I?" she asked.

I answered, "You gave this studio its name, after all." I just assumed that "First Days" was a clever double entendre that was both a play on Haruhi's name and a kind of philosophical statement.

"I can't take the credit for that," Asakura stated.

"What is that a reference to?" I asked.

She answered, "A wise man once told me to treat every day like it was the first day of my life. It really changed the way I see things."

"So, that's it?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "So, if anyone, you should be thanking him."

Whoever this wise man was. It was strange, hearing that philosophy spelled out so clearly. It had seemed vaguely positive, but I now realized that there was something more to it.

She then added, "I didn't realize it at the time, but I was just being childish. My attitude was prone to desperation."

"You were just a kid, though," I explained. "So, no problem, right?"

"That's right," she agreed.

Just then, I noticed the drummer had arrived, and they appeared to be getting ready. "Looks like they're about ready."

"I better get back to work," she said.

"I'll let you get to it, then," I said.

"Hold on," she said, as I started to leave.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I had a lot of fun working with you," she answered.

"Okay," I said. "Any particular reason you're telling me this?"

"No," she answered, smiling very cheerfully. "Just thought you should know. You're the best artist I know."

"That's funny," I told her, "because I'd say you're really the best."

- x -

That wasn't just flattery, either. There's a very subtle art to mixing sound that eludes me. Whatever it is that Asakura does with it, it's definitely right up there at genius level artistry. The sad thing is that you wouldn't notice unless you were thinking about it, so you average fans out there probably wouldn't have even appreciated it had I not pointed it out.

I wasn't doing anything for a few hours, and I wasn't sure how to approach Yuki. Something was still bothering me, and I knew Yuki would just tell me it was related to aliens or time travelers. That just seemed trivial to me. It felt like there was an itch in my mind that I couldn't scratch, so I just wandered around. I found myself at a video game arcade, and I noticed Haruhi playing a fighting game.

"Hey!" I said.

"Oh, hey Kyon," she answered. "Here to watch me beat all the high scores?"

Indeed. Haruhi has a knack for these games, and it often baffles me how she has all this ridiculous talent. (And contrary to popular belief, I don't chafe at being called "Kyon.")

"I was just passing by," I explained.

"Lucky you," she remarked, continuing to play her game.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Anything you feel like confessing?" she asked.

"No," I lied, smiling at the thought.

"You're no fun," she softly complained.

"What were you expecting?" I asked.

"I wonder if you've noticed," she said. "I guess not."

"What?" I asked.

"You smile when you're hiding something," she answered. "That's how I know."

"Oh," I said, "about the confession thing."

"You're so clueless," she added. "Jeez."

I then smirked and stated, "I'm not the one who didn't know who Michael Jackson was."

She turned away and sighed, and I felt like I had slapped her.

"Sorry," I said.

"That's okay," she told me. "I deserved it. Jackson is this big star. Who the hell am I, right?"

"You're a crazy person," I answered. "You know that, right?"

She then asked, "Is it so wrong to want to do everything by the time you're twenty?"

"No," I answered.

She then complained, "You only have so much time in this world. Everything goes by like that. And once it's gone, it's gone."

I remarked, "I'm guessing you're more of a 'Last Day' type than a 'First Day.'"

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

"So, you aren't going to ask why I'm wasting my time playing a bunch of games?"

"I just assumed this was what you did for fun."

She then put her face in her hands. For a few moments, I wasn't sure she would recover, but then she turned and looked at me with a really sweet look of distress.

"Oh god, Kyon," she said. "What happened to me? Is this all there is to life?"

"Your music isn't that bad," I answered.

"I'm serious," she complained.

"So am I," I said.

She then complained, "I used to really think I could do something with myself."

"Well, you did," I told her.

"Yeah," she said, "but I thought I could do so much more."

"Like what?" I asked.

She answered, "I don't know. Become huge in rock music. Make our albums bigger and better than anyone else's. Make enough of them that we make the others look like slackers."

Typical Haruhi. Yes. We only did five albums. It was hilarious that she was still disappointed. I'm not sure whether I wanted to laugh or cry.

"What?" she asked. "What's so funny?"

I answered, "Only you would think of five albums in two years as a slow pace."

She then stated, "It was closer to three years, and that isn't really all that impressive."

"You really think so?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"Okay," I said, thinking about it. "Well, think of the best band you can."

"All right."

"How many good albums do you think they did?"

"Nine."

"Wow. Nine? Really?"

I'm having trouble thinking of anybody who did nine really good albums. Even the really die hard workaholic artists are lucky if they can pull off four or five solid albums.

She then said, "I may not know much about Michael Jackson, but I do know my rock music."

I then observed, "You still have plenty of time to catch up to them, right?"

"I guess so," she said, looking doubtful.

- x -

And just like that, I blew it. Haruhi knew what I thought, but she wasn't sure. And I knew how important it was to be sure, but just couldn't muster up the will to make it happen. At the time, I didn't see it as crystal clear as I do now. In fact, I just had this vague feeling of having failed something important.

Something about Yuki was bothering me, and that's as much as registered in my mind at the time. We were sitting at the table in my place. I had just made some tea and gave her a cup. She was sitting and reading.

"Thank you," she said.

It was endearing. Yuki has such perfect flaws, they make me wonder about her. It seems as though I was specifically chosen just to make her happy. It sounds crazy, but I can't shake that feeling.

"What?" she asked, casually glancing at me.

I kissed her and then admitted, "This is too easy."

She seemed a little baffled in her usual way.

"You know that?" I asked.

She then stated, "You're being facetious, but it is true."

"Oh?" I asked.

She turned to me and admitted, "I don't know if I really feel the same way."

"Because you're an alien?" I guessed.

She answered, "I have several reasons to enjoy being in your company, and I could try to be as accommodating as I can. I would still remain disconnected from an essential awareness of self."

I sighed and said, "I don't know why I'm saying this, but that makes me feel all the more strongly about you."

My mother then called, and that naturally led to some silly argument that I can't remember.

- x -

Later that evening, I went back to the college campus. They were holding night classes, so it wasn't unusual to see students wandering about. I didn't think I would see anyone I could recognize, but I eventually noticed Kida sitting around on a park bench. He seemed as though he was pondering a deep mystery.

"Oh!" he said. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"You didn't?" I asked.

He answered, "I always expect to face this situation alone. It's good to have a familiar face."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Haruhi," he answered.

I was starting to feel as though I knew what he was going to say. It was the end of the world again. And somehow, it wasn't really the end, though we were about to witness some destruction.

"She's going into meltdown," he explained. "She's about to explode. It could happen any minute, now."

"That's not funny, you know," I said.

"I wasn't joking," he added.

"You still insist on...?" I started to ask.

He answered, "I'm not talking about the fragments of wisdom that blinded me to the more essential truth of Miss Suzumiya's place in this world. I'm referring to the fact that I'm an esper. I still have many powers that are beyond your comprehension. I know, for example, that you just had a fight with Miss Nagato."

"How did...?" I asked, unable to finish.

He answered, "My powers expand as Miss Suzumiya becomes smaller. Her sense of self decreases, but that just makes her subconscious all the more powerful."

I then protested, "It wasn't really a fight, per se."

Kida then glared at me.

I added, "This doesn't change the fact that you're still crazy."

Koizumi then appeared, and he seemed almost cheerful. "The fun's just about to start," he said.

"That's what he keeps saying," I answered. "I have yet to see anything."

Koizumi explained, "You can't really see what we're seeing."

Kida added, "It's a pretty amazing picture. It's too bad."

"I know," Koizumi agreed.

"So, what do you see?" I asked them.

"The sky," Koizumi replied, not bothering to look for the moment. "It's filling with smaller closed spaces. If you were an esper like us, you would see the world as if it were the middle of daytime."

"That's pretty creepy," I remarked. "Isn't there anything you can do about it?"

Koizumi shrugged, and Kida stated, "We can watch."

Koizumi then added, "We could take a helicopter and drop into the spaces. Once inside, we could float on our own energy. The problem, though, is that we would end up in a never-ending chase."

"Yes," Kida agreed, making some expressive hand gestures. "You see, the ethereal warriors have decided to retreat whenever we attack them. It's classic strategy."

"Yes," Koizumi said, adding, "fall back before your enemy's advance. Then, as they extend their lines to pursue, you cut them off. Rather clever, I must admit."

"We need an escape route," I remarked.

Koizumi then corrected, "What we really need is a time traveler."

"Don't look at me," I protested.

"It's just as I foresaw," Kida stated. "Even if we could circumvent this, where would we go? There's no future for this world."

"So that's it?" I asked.

"I'm afraid so," Koizumi answered. "Sorry."

"No wonder," I said.

"What?" Koizumi asked.

"Nothing," I answered. "Just something Miss Asakura said to me."

"Right," Koizumi said. "It's the end of the world. My only consolation is that we'll be together."

I then saw Yuki hurrying over to us.

"Oh!" I said, noticing her.

"And another one appears," Koizumi remarked.

"I'm sorry," I said, once she was near.

"No," she said. "I apologize. I was wrong."

"It was nothing," I insisted.

"I love you," she said.

She was still speaking to me in her usual tone, but I gathered from the urgent expression on her face that she had really meant something by this.

"Jeez," Koizumi complained.

I drew Yuki to me and kissed her. Why not? If it really was the end of the world, what's a little public display going to matter?

"You're really worked up," I noticed. "I guess there really is something to this end of the world stuff these guys have been babbling about."

"This is the advent of the corrosion," she explained.

"Isn't there something you could do?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"Well..." I tried to think of a way to ask the obvious without it sounding like I was insulting her.

She answered the look on my face, "The difficulty is that you have trust issues. You lack a belief in what Suzumiya has been attempting to convey to you."

"You could have told me this," I said.

"I did," she stated. "Many times."

As she said that, I could feel the truth of it. I began to wonder where this information was coming from, though. It just suddenly injected itself into my reality from what seemed like nowhere.

I then complained, "Maybe you could be a little more persuasive."

"How?" she asked.

"I don't know," I answered, looking upward. "It's kind of hard to think, now that I'm starting to see what's happening."


	53. Peace of Mind

- Chapter 3: Peace of Mind

Something was wrong. I know. It sounds absurd when I say it at this point. I was convinced that there was something of cosmic importance that I was overlooking, and I had the strong impression that it involved seeing a fire descend from the skies. The impression lingered in my mind as I strolled down the sidewalk toward the cafe for a rendezvous with Yuki. Over and over in my mind, I kept having this strange impression of terror and sadness, but it was a strangely comforting impression. I also had this sense that at least things had worked out in a very personal way, and I couldn't shake the feeling that it had something to do with Yuki.

There was something wrong, but the one thing I was sure of was that it had nothing to do with Yuki. It was a comforting illusion, and I had no clue that it was an easy illusion to dispel, so it didn't occur to me that I might want to question all this certainty. Maybe it was the fact that I was just glad to be alive, and I could hold any uncertainty as trivial compared to the importance of existing. Maybe it was the fact that Yuki had seemed glad to have contacted me when she had arranged for this rendezvous. Maybe it was the fact that no matter how this turned out, my cat was waiting for me back at home.

In this whole mess, the one thing I still can't figure out is the mysterious appearance of this cat (which, for some weird reason, I knew was named Shamisen). I've thought of a lot of weird explanations for his being here, but none of them make any sense to me at this point. Please just bear with me and trust that this is as true as I can recall. And, for what it's worth, I did get some confirmation from Yuki about all this, later on. I think it's reasonable to trust that we aren't both nuts.

Even so, I had some reservations about this rendezvous. It seemed to me like this was the start of a chain of events that would lead to a disaster, or maybe that disaster was inevitable. I drew a lot of curious stares when I began going back and forth outside the cafe, considering whether I really wanted to get in it. Yeah, right. No, I don't think I could resist, even had I had a good reason to. And I didn't have a single good reason to not want to talk to her.

I was very glad to see her, and it put my mind at ease to see that I caught her attention. She put out her cigarette as I approached.

"Hey," I said. "What's up?"

"Please have a seat," she answered.

I sat down across from her and asked, "This about the club?"

"Why do you ask?" she answered.

I just softly replied, "I think I'll get some tea."

I don't know why I had asked that, but it just seemed like something my tongue had wanted to say. Maybe I was stuck on autopilot in that moment.

I then remarked, "You wouldn't call me about some club thing, I guess."

"No," she agreed.

I added, "I've been having a lot of trouble studying, lately. I don't know why. Maybe it's just the cold weather."

She then stated, "Maybe it's difficult to study when you have personal problems."

"Did I just hear you right?" I asked.

"What?" she asked.

"Are you saying you want to help with my personal problems?" I asked. It had seemed like a very leading question, and in particular the kind of question I had been hoping she would ask.

"Yes," she answered.

"I thought you were maybe just being polite," I explained.

"Really?" she asked.

"Not really," I answered. "What was I thinking?"

- x -

My personal problems are fairly complicated, to put it mildly. I suspect that Yuki is the same way, only her issues are much more easy to understand. Nothing that couldn't be sorted out with a little TV. There was a movie just starting that I had been meaning to watch, so I started watching that. Yuki was content to read, sitting next to me. Very nice. I found myself thinking that life should be more like this more often.

After a few minutes, I saw Shamisen approach, looking for all the world like a perfectly ordinary cat.

"Hey, Shamisen," I said, and then he meowed at me. He then looked content and watched TV along with me.

A few minutes later, I noticed Yuki looking at the cat very curiously. It seemed as though she were studying him.

"Something the matter?" I gently asked.

"You call the cat Shamisen?" she inquired.

"Yeah," I replied.

"I was wondering..." she started to ask.

I explained, "It just struck me as a funny name."

She stopped reading and began looking at the TV.

"You never noticed?" I asked, thinking about how I had known the cat for years.

"What are you watching?" she asked.

"Some weird comedy," I answered. "I like it. It's about this woman who finds a stack of love letters. She only knows the initials of the people who wrote them, and she's trying to guess who they belong to."

"Okay," she said.

"I'm glad you're coming around," I confessed.

"You are?" she asked.

"I love this side of you," I answered. "It's really cute."

"I have my moments," she remarked.

I smiled and added, "I always figured you were a romantic, deep down inside."

Shamisen then leaped up onto the sofa and sat in my lap.

I then complained to Yuki, "You took your time, though."

"I am an alien," she explained.

"And that explains it?" I wondered.

"Trust me," she answered.

As usual, this was the understood signal that she didn't really know, and she didn't want to know. I had the feeling that I should just believe her, and that it was really important, so I decided to do that. "Okay," I said.

"Okay?" she asked.

"I believe it," I added.

"Thank you," she said, returning to her book.

- x -

For being an alien android, Yuki does give the very convincing illusion of being a beautiful young woman with a clean slate mentality and a methodical approach to any conceivable situation. She had no trouble at all helping me with my personal problems that night, and I highly recommend this way of handling anything personal. In fact, she seemed pretty receptive to anything I felt like sharing, and I absolutely did feel like sharing quite a lot.

As much as I loved being with her that evening, that's how much it began to bother me that she had insisted on her alien status the next morning. I mean, aliens aren't real. That was just some ridiculous fantasy that Haruhi had created back when she was a brat. At least, that's what I had always told myself. It was slowly dawning on me that Haruhi was transforming the world into her fantasy. Hell, maybe there were time travelers and espers walking around, too.

Some strange impulse made me go by a pastry shop near the college, and I spotted Haruhi inside. I then decided to go harass her, as this was too good to pass up.

"Hey," I said, waving a greeting.

"Oh, hi!" she answered. "Have a seat."

I sat across from her, saying, "Thanks, I think I will."

"I was in a mood," she explained, "so I thought I'd have something sweet."

"Don't you normally hate places like this?" I asked.

"I know," she answered. "I'm in a really weird mood today. It's like I'm riding in a plane on my way to China, or something."

"It's an alien morning," I added.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"I don't know," I answered. "Maybe you'll get lucky and find one."

She then asked, "You do know that aliens are real, right?"

I answered, "I didn't use to think so, but..."

She laughed and complained, "Don't tell me you're starting to believe."

Since she was in a good mood, I then decided to get something out of her. "Let me ask you: What exactly did this time-traveling me tell you?"

"That aliens were real," she promptly answered.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"It really makes you think."

"You said you go to school everyday with a couple of them and that there are others, lurking in the shadows."

Yuki had frequently made reference to Ryoko Asakura being her "subordinate," and she also sometimes made reference to other aliens. I was at once struck by the familiarity of the concept, though my reaction had always been denial.

Haruhi continued, "You then introduced me to this pretty girl who was from the distant future. That might explain why I haven't seen her yet."

I frowned and added, "This other me obviously didn't know you very well." Had you sent me back in time to Haruhi's first year of middle school, I would have never made that mistake.

"Oh..." she said, looking surprised. "Well, that explains it."

"You figured it out?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "I'm just now remembering that he said he was a time-traveling slider. Somehow, I forgot the slider part and just assumed he would become you, three years later."

"Awkward," I remarked, thinking of how Haruhi had indeed made that weird assumption.

"That's putting it mildly," she grimly added. "Imagine my disappointment."

"I'm trying not to," I sincerely stated. I didn't feel like ruining the mood.

"Well, then," she said, putting a cookie down on her plate. "Let me describe it. For three long years, I kept telling myself that everything would be explained once I could find you and have a nice, long chat with you. I then found out that you were like a completely clean slate. You didn't believe a word I said."

"That's true," I commented.

She continued, "I told myself it was okay, since time travel does have some weird side effects. No problem. I'd just have to find that girl."

I asked, "You could remember her, after three years?"

"It was dark at the time," she admitted, "but I doubt I would have had trouble remembering her. Especially because she spoke to me. She has a very distinctively wispy voice. You don't just forget something like that."

"I see," I said. "So, when you couldn't find her..."

"Yeah," Haruhi stated, suddenly looking a little depressed. "I felt like I had gotten off of a plane headed to France, only to find myself in Siberia instead."

Just then, Koizumi entered the shop with his usual cheerful expressions.

"Oh, hey," I said. "Hello."

"Hello," he answered. "Nice to see you two."

Haruhi then asked him, "Why don't you join us? We were just reminiscing."

"You like France?" I asked her, having deduced that from her previous statement.

"I love it," she answered. "I wish I could go there more."

Koizumi then sat with us.

I remarked, "It gets pretty cold there, from what I hear."

"It's not that different from Japan," she said.

"Maybe you should move there," I suggested.

"No way," she immediately answered.

Koizumi asked her, "Why not? You don't like the culture?"

She replied, "I just can't relate to a place like that on any level. It's a nice place to visit, but Japan is a lot nicer."

Even so, I had the impression that Haruhi was about to leave Japan for a few years. If not France, then where? The thought was troublesome, so I went back to the other topic.

"So," I asked, "aliens are real? And time travelers?"

"That's right," she answered.

I then complained, "The problem is that time travelers can't leave anything alone."

"Yeah," she agreed. "That's it. Exactly. You get maybe ten or so different worlds, and any crazy thing can happen."

I then looked at Koizumi and remarked, "You seem awfully quiet on the issue. What do you think?"

He very nicely answered, "I wouldn't be surprised if aliens or time travelers turned out to be real."

"What about espers?" Haruhi asked.

"Oh..." he replied. "Well, I highly doubt that those exist."

"Really?" she asked. "Because they seem even more likely than aliens or time travelers."

"I agree," I said. "I would have believed in espers long before I started believing in aliens or time travelers."

"That does sound reasonable," he admitted. "Even so, if there were such a thing, they would undoubtedly keep to themselves. And how would you ever discover them?"

"That's true," she said. "The hunt continues."

"Indeed," he said, looking relieved.

I just sat there and wondered how he could lie to Haruhi with such a straight face. Amazing.

- x -

When we left the shop, Koizumi decided to go with me to the college. He was still maintaining the pretense of just being a college student, after all. That would have to change soon, though the problem of a world-ending disaster would likely get in the way of those plans.

I remarked, "I didn't realize you were such a pastry nut."

He sighed and asked, "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

I laughed and answered, "Probably not."

"That would ruin my reputation," he stated.

I then added, "It takes a big man to lie to someone's face."

"So, you actually believe I'm an esper?" he asked.

"I never had any reason to not believe it," I answered.

"That is surprising," he admitted.

Yeah. I did have one reason to reject the notion of espers. I informed him, "It just seemed like a gateway to believing other weird things I didn't want to accept."

He then remarked, "I've been trying to leave the organization, actually."

"Oh?" I asked.

He then asked me, "I don't suppose you're interested in joining in my place?"

I answered, "Ten years ago, maybe. Nowadays..."

"I know what you mean," he said, nodding sympathetically.

"What's her problem?" I asked.

"You mean, Miss Suzumiya?" he said.

"Yeah," I answered.

He answered, "She has a lot on her mind. I think it's perfectly understandable."

I explained, "I just don't get how she can be so self-contradictory."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

I replied, "I finally come around on these issues, and that's not even good enough for her. What does she want?"

I looked at Koizumi, and he just shrugged. This was a mystery, and he had sometimes asked me that very same question.

I then wondered, "Is her ego so big that she even gets in her own way?"

"Hmm..." he said, thinking for a moment. "Well, I don't know. I think it's fair to say that she's caught up in a terrible dilemma."

"A dilemma?" I prompted.

He answered, "She has this craving for importance and acknowledgement, but she can't handle the slightest thought of responsibility."

"I see," I said.

He then hastily added, "I'm not criticizing, though. In a way, it's really the perfect attitude. I just can't make myself sympathize, and I can only deal with her on a strictly rational level."

I then realized, "So, you aren't really qualified to weigh in on this issue of ego."

"Exactly," he answered.

"So, you're really useless," I needled him.

He then mentioned, "I think there might also be the matter of Miss Nagato."

"Really?" I asked.

"I think she knows about that," he said.

"You think she's upset about it?" I guessed.

"I'm saying," he answered, "it might relate to the issue of her ego."

"Oh," I said.

- x -

Now that he'd brought it up, it started to bother me. I mean, whatever Haruhi thinks is really beyond my capacity to notice, let alone actually care about. I happen to know that she is extremely emotional about everything, and she always makes a huge deal out of the tiniest things that happen to her or anyone around her. No surprise if she was a little jealous, but then she was probably jealous about Koizumi and Kida and maybe even Asakura. I doubt she had any trouble being envious of anyone's happiness, no matter how humble their situation.

Still, I have to admit that I really wanted Yuki. Not just to be with her but in every other sense of the word. I wanted her so much it scared me a little, and I found myself thinking a lot about where she might be and what she might be doing. It was hilarious, and I could picture myself as if from outside myself, but I often found myself thinking along those lines. I didn't want to disappoint her, so it was very disturbing that she'd kept repeating the theme of how she wanted me to realize that she was an alien. It seemed to me like more than just subtle hinting. I should also admit that I'm a little insecure about this kind of thing. If Yuki expects me to fulfill certain expectations, I really want to make sure those expectations are met, somehow.

As I strode down the hallway at college, I noticed Asakura. If anyone could understand, I thought, it would be her. So, I approached her.

"Hey," I said.

"Hello," she answered. "Between classes?"

"I've got the holiday season stuck in my head, actually," I said, as a nice way to transition into asking a favor.

"That's too bad," she remarked, looking both cheerful and somewhat sad.

"You have a minute?" I then asked.

"Something on your mind?" she guessed.

"It's about Nagato," I answered.

"Okay," she said. "May as well get this over with."

We then went out together to the courtyard between a couple of the buildings.

"I hope this isn't something sordid," she said.

"No," I answered. "It's just that something has me worried."

"Well," she said, "feel free to share. I always have time for you."

"Thanks," I sincerely stated. "I appreciate it."

"Well...?" she asked. "Don't keep me in the dark."

I went and found a bench, and then I sat there. Asakura followed, smiling and looking cheerful in spite of me struggling to find a way to say what was on my mind. I stared at the nearby trees for a few moments.

I asked, "Yuki is an alien, right?"

"That's right," she answered.

"And you know because you are one, as well," I added.

"Don't sound so dramatic," she softly scolded me. "It's no big deal."

I then explained, "Yuki really emphasized it to me this morning. I felt like it was really important to believe her. You know? Like life and death important."

"Oh," Asakura said, looking a little surprised, but also relieved. "Well, Nagato has these crazy ideas."

"I can't help but think I screwed something up," I admitted.

"Yeah," she said. "But don't worry. I mean, it's not like you can do anything about it."

"So," I said, "I'm not just dreaming it? This really is a serious situation?"

She then sat next to me and gave me a serious look.

"It's a disaster waiting to happen, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, but so what?" she casually remarked. "I mean, you can't live your life like you think you've only got one day left, can you? You'd die of desperation. Every moment would be a disappointment."

"You really think so?" I asked.

"Trust me," she answered. "I know what I'm talking about."

"So, why was Yuki so insistent?" I asked.

"Like I said," Asakura answered. "Nagato had this crazy idea that your trust issues were what was causing everything. I tried to tell her, but does she ever listen to me?"

"And it's hopeless?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered, briefly looking a little sad. "Sorry. I wish I could say otherwise."

I sighed and stated, "I still feel bad about it. I mean, Haruhi really did expect me to have all the answers."

"You've done enough," Asakura insisted. "Don't feel bad about it."

A cold gust of wind whipped by at that moment. I wondered if she was really okay with all this. I mean, the world was about to end, for heaven's sake.

"Is that what you really think?" I asked, disbelieving.

"Yeah," she answered. "Just don't do anything really crazy like fall for her. I don't know what I'd do if that happened."

"What?" I said, a little shocked at this confession. "Are you jealous?"

"I am never jealous," she immediately retorted.

Okay... She wasn't jealous, then. I know what you're thinking. 'The girl doth protest too much.' Yeah, no. Actually, Ryoko Asakura has a lot of trouble being dishonest. I would know if she had said that insincerely. I've heard her tell quite a few lies, and she really sucks at it. So, why exactly would she hate to see me fall for Haruhi? Or did she really mean Yuki?

"Don't give me that look," she protested.

"You didn't know that I was seeing Yuki?" I guessed.

"What?" she said. "No, I knew."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes, really," she answered. "And I don't have a problem with it."

"I'm sorry, but I..." I admitted, now totally confused.

"And I'm not gay," she added, "if that's what you're thinking."

"Okay..." I said, then realizing that she was insisting that she wasn't jealous. "Well, now I'm just confused."

She explained, "You know the kind of things I like, right?"

"Right," I answered. Games, toys, and chatting with her friends.

"My work gets in the way," she said.

"Your work?" I wondered.

She answered, "My job is to observe Miss Suzumiya. You get it, now?"

"Hmm..." I said, starting to think about that.

She then supplied, "If you enter that equation, my job gets monotonous."

"How does that happen?" I asked. Purely as a hypothetical, of course.

She then explained, "It's like yin and yang. She becomes your chaos, and you become her order. You make her even more boringly predictable than she usually is, which is pretty damn boring to begin with. On top of all that, you have a knack for defusing anything that comes along and threatens to make that situation interesting."

"I see," I said, recoiling mentally at that image. "Well, if it's any consolation, I can't see myself getting involved with her. Ever."

"That's a relief," she said, smiling very sincerely.

"In fact," I added, "feel free to put me out of my misery if you ever do see me in that situation."

She gasped and protested, "Don't tell me that. I might feel obligated to really do it."

- x -

I then decided to take in a little baseball. There was a small, unofficial game in progress at a nearby field, so I figured I would watch. How often do you get to see a baseball game in late autumn? It was nice and familiar, and I needed some of that.

I think the human mind can only handle so much weirdness in an average day. Between Yuki's crazy ideas and this weird dream that wasn't so much a dream as much as some weird memory of the world repeatedly being destroyed, I'd had enough weirdness to last for the next week or two at least.

I sat in one of the nearby bleachers and cheered at what seemed like the appropriate times for it. It was fun.

"Hey!" said a familiar voice next to me.

"Oh, hello," I said, recognizing Taniguchi when I looked around. He'd snuck up on me when I hadn't been looking.

"Are you a betting man?" he asked.

"Not this again," I muttered, recognizing this situation. Taniguchi has a bad gambling problem, and I can never just tell him no.

"I have a good feeling about this team," he remarked.

I then inquired, "You always do this, you know? Maybe you should stop."

He answered, "Don't you feel sorry for me? I mean, I'm always so close."

"How much you want this time?" I asked.

"Just fifty," he replied. "You know what? I only need twenty. That'll work."

"Sheesh," I said, taking out my wallet. "You're such a degenerate."

"I know," he admitted. "Terrible, huh?"

I handed him a twenty and asked, "Aren't you a college student?"

"Yeah," he answered, "but I still have bills to pay."

I then remarked, "At this rate, I'll be surprised if you aren't forced to drop out."

He protested, "I can find time to be a degenerate gambler and study, you know?"

"You have a busy schedule," I said, a little snidely.

"Not busy enough," he complained. "I overheard that you were seen with Miss Asakura."

"You still have a thing for her?" I asked.

"How could I not?" he exclaimed. "What a knockout."

"That must go over well with your dates," I commented.

"What?" he then stated. "That I have such limitless devotion? Admit it. I'm a romantic."

"Only in the classic sense of the word," I supplied.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the many senses of the word "romantic," the classic one pertains to being absurd, profane, and impious. A more modern rendition would identify you as amorous and unrealistic. It is indeed debatable which sense applies better to a lecherous young man like this. In some ways, Taniguchi really was admirable. That is to say, I did admire his devotion to the art of being lecherous.

"I don't know," I admitted. "Maybe you're right."

"Heck, yeah. I'm right," he said. "Time to go make us rich."

I sighed and sneered, "Yeah, right."

- x -

I went back to my place, discovering to my vast pleasure how Yuki had been waiting. She may be an alien, but she has certain human qualities that I find very hard to resist. I think my ancestors can forgive me being a little indulgent in these types of situations. I mean, we were about to get incinerated. It just felt right to mock nature in this situation. And it's not like nature was going to be any less well provided once Haruhi restarted us back to yesterday evening (which seemed like the pattern, now that I'd thought about it).

In fact, the pattern was becoming so familiar, that I wasn't really all that concerned. Before long, I began to notice even trivial things like the fact that Shamisen was suddenly missing. I then started looking for him while Yuki was reading.

"Have you seen Shamisen?" I asked her, after having looked everywhere at my place.

"No," she answered.

"You didn't let him out, did you?" I then asked her.

"He was here when I left," she stated.

"Strange," I remarked, wondering what could have happened.

"He is a cat," she explained.

"Yeah," I said, realizing. "This isn't the first time."

"Yes," she agreed.

I sat next to her, and she looked up at me.

"I had an interesting conversation today," I informed her.

"Oh?" she asked.

"You think I have trust issues?" I asked her.

"You did," she answered. "That situation has been resolved."

"So," I concluded, "we've fixed the problem."

"Perhaps," she said, "but we won't know until the time is upon us."

"So, Miss Asakura could be wrong," I wondered.

"Yes," Yuki said.

"But she usually is right," I remarked. "You know? When you disagree about things."

Yuki then started to glare at me, and this seemed like it could become a problem.

"Don't get me wrong," I added. "I like it that you're so optimistic."

She then stated, "There is a purpose to everything that Miss Suzumiya does."

"You think so?" I asked.

She answered, "Whenever I explain to you my purpose, you always cloud your own understanding with confused explanations of dubious origins."

"The genetic mutations thing again?" I asked, thinking of a very confusing explanation she had given me back in high school.

"Correct," she said. "You do not understand how mutations work."

"Well then," I invited, "enlighten me. How exactly does that work?"

She answered, "You have been informed that mutations are random in nature. That is incorrect. Mutations are highly dynamic, but that demands a much more robust approach to their study."

"Seems pretty random to me," I remarked.

She explained, "What you perceive is a pattern called turbulence. I believe that it says more about the observer than the subject to call such a pattern random."

"Okay," I said, thinking for a moment. "So, you're exploring the nature of mutations."

She then corrected, "I'm pointing out to you that you need to assess your understanding. You should question yourself rather than immediately pose doubts to things I have told you numerous times."

"And this process has a purpose for Haruhi?" I asked, connecting the dots of this conversation.

"Perhaps," she answered.

"And when this world ends?" I prompted.

She answered, "If this temporal anomaly is reverted, will you remember?"

"I don't know," I replied.

She then added, "I stated that there is a purpose. Not that her purpose was adequate to her needs, or anyone else's for that matter."

"That sounds conveniently redundant," I remarked, starting to get a feel for what she was saying.

"Is it?" she asked. "Do you understand how the process of her purpose works?"

"There's a process?" I wondered.

She answered, "There is a process in anything you observe. In Suzumiya's purposes, there is also a very crude process."

"That's news to me," I complained.

"It's shouldn't be," she said. "You've seen this process many times."

"I have?" I asked, trying to think back.

Yuki asked, "When you help her compose music. How exactly does that work?"

"I don't know," I answered. "I've never really thought about it."

She explained, "She devotes some attention to you. You convert that energy into inspiration. You focus it into your emotions and convert that into sound. That sound becomes a kind of acknowledgement of her devotion, which she converts to a vocalization. In this way, the process sustains itself."

What any of that had to do with genetics or mutations was still doubtful, but it was nice to know. Actually, I was a little sad to learn all that. I remarked, "You have a knack for spoiling the mystery in things."

"Will mystery save this world?" she asked.

"I doubt it," I answered.

She then added, "If it is her purpose, she will destroy the world and create it again."

"What can we do about it?" I asked.

Yuki then surprised me by saying pretty much the same thing as Asakura: "You have already done what you could. You affirmed her perspective." She then added, "That acknowledgement will restore the status of her ego."

"And if you're wrong?" I asked.

"I have prepared for that eventuality, as well," she said, taking out a bottle of vodka.

"I don't think getting drunk will solve anything," I said.

"No," she agreed. "It won't."


	54. Feeling Beautiful

- Chapter 4: Feeling Beautiful

By now, you've probably figured out that we've come to the part of the story where the initial conflict is going to be resolved. This would seem to be the ending, except that it isn't really. This chapter resolves the issue of how things were going wrong, but it doesn't really explain why. I've left that until the last chapter since it didn't occur to me why all this was really happening until then. I just happen to be really good at guessing, and it's probably just a happy coincidence that I'm not too often wrong. And I'm only correct enough to solve the problems I'm faced with. I'm really nowhere near actually comprehending all this.

This is the main thing that bothers me. None of this makes any real sense to me, even many years later. I've tried to be a nice guy and just go along with the genetic mutations explanation, the sympathetic resonance explanation (Koizumi's favorite), the mysterious and inexplicable power explanation (Asahina's favorite). I'll introduce Miss Asahina to you in a few minutes (depending on how fast you read). I must admit that I find it all to be indecipherable gibberish. That is, everything except for Asakura's explanation. She insists (to this day) that this disaster was purely coincidental, and that Haruhi is simply more in tune with the collective unconscious than most people. It's a very compelling explanation, though I should also warn you not to mention it around Yuki. It tends to set her off. Yuki really prefers her more Freudian explanation.

And of course, none of that makes any sense if you consider how Shamisen appears and vanishes from this story seemingly at will. I have to say, I've never met that cat in my life. It's very baffling to me that I had seemed to know him in that one timeline. I've asked Yuki about it, but she seemed just as baffled as me on the issue.

Speaking of Yuki, I remember distinctly seeing her pass by that cafe that evening. She seemed to be depressed, and I was completely baffled about what that was about. It's funny, because I remember this incident as me simply texting her that I'd be at the cafe. When I got there, I had a funny feeling that I should just wait around outside, and that turned out to be a good idea. Yuki took one look at me and then looked at her feet as she continued walking along.

I stood there for a moment, then caught up with her. For a while, we just walked side by side. She didn't seem to mind, and I honestly like this sort of thing every now and then. I also had the brief impression that she was drunk, although I can't remember her giving any signs of being seriously impaired. I did, however, take a moment to give her a serious look. She then gave me a hint of a smile, and that seemed like an invitation.

"Hey," I said.

"Hello," she responded.

"Did you get my message?" I asked.

"I did," she answered.

"And?" I prompted.

"I found it reassuring," she remarked.

She then stopped, and we looked at each other for a few moments. She had a very knowing expression, and I was at once impressed by the many realizations that it spurred in my mind. She knew what I wanted, and although she pretty much wanted the same thing, she needed a little more time to sort out how she felt about herself. She was having some trouble feeling anything but pity for herself, and she was about to explode. She also had this mysterious smirk that suggested that she could just blow it all off if I somehow figured out how to persuade her in a nice way.

"We need to talk," she stated in a very business-like tone.

"Okay," I said, folding my arms and bracing myself for whatever crazy things she wanted to tell me.

"Not now," she then said. "Tomorrow night."

"Oh," I said. "Well, I'll see you then."

- x -

I then decided to wander back toward my place, although I took the somewhat more scenic route of going through town. As I crossed a pedestrian bridge, I was just starting to think of how convenient it was to not have to worry about roads or bridges. Modern engineering certainly does make life a lot less bothersome, although you still have to worry about things like avoiding periods of heavy traffic and such. I then heard this familiar voice calling out to me.

"Hey!"

"Huh?" I said, looking around.

"Kyon! Over here!"

I noticed Haruhi waving at me, and answered, "Oh! Hey, Haruhi. What's up?"

"You never called me back," she immediately complained when she approached me.

"I didn't?" I asked, wondering when that had occurred.

"I left you a message," she added.

I took out my phone and checked. "Really?" I asked, looking through my phone log.

Haruhi seemed very puzzled, and I wasn't sure how to take that.

I asked her, "Are you sure you dialed the right number?"

"Of course, I did!" she protested. "I never misdial."

"You're out pretty late," I remarked.

"I know," she said. "I can't sleep."

"I know what you mean," I agreed.

"I feel like if I go to sleep," she explained, "something really weird will start to happen."

"So, let's not go to sleep," I suggested.

"Yeah, right," she answered, scowling. "I'll see you later."

"Okay," I said. "Hey, Haruhi."

"What?"

"It was good, seeing you again."

- x -

After having known Haruhi for the past five years (eight, if you hear it from her), it did seem strange any time she went out touring. I hate to admit it, but I do like to see her smiling face. It gives me a warm feeling inside, though not as warm as you might think.

I had another surprisingly warm feeling when I passed by Asakura's place. Asakura was busy defacing one of those concert promotional posters that Haruhi had put up in front of the apartment building. I knew Asakura had it in her, but seeing her in action made me feel all fuzzy inside.

"Hey," I said, sneaking up on her.

"What's up?" she said, casually acting like she wasn't up to anything.

I started, "I know this is going to sound strange, but..."

She guessed, "You couldn't sleep, right?"

"Yeah," I answered.

"It won't matter," she stated.

"What?" I said, wondering what she was referring to.

"Staying awake won't help you," she explained. "It'll come, anyway."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"The memories," she answered. "They're how you know you're real."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I casually blew that off, though what she was saying did sound strangely right.

She chuckled briefly and then added, "There is one thing you could do."

"What?" I asked.

"You want to go up to my place and find out?" she asked.

"Is this what I think...?" I started to ask.

"Come on," she insisted. "It's instinctive. Don't fight it."

I then answered, "Tempting as that sounds, I think I'll pass."

"Oh?" she asked.

"You're too damn capricious for your own good," I explained.

"Ouch," she said, then started laughing.

"I would like to go somewhere, though," I added. "You want to come with me?"

"I would love to," she answered.

- x -

Something was nagging me in the back of my mind. At the time, all I could figure out was that I needed to face something really important, and it had something to do with Yuki. It seemed to my mind like standing on the roof of a tall building, daring yourself to stand right at the edge. I got close to doing just that, very shortly afterward.

"I have to face my fears," I told myself.

"Yeah, that's it," Asakura encouraged me. "Go right to the edge."

"I'm not in that big a hurry," I told her.

"Coward," she accused in a very nice way.

"I don't have a death wish," I explained. "A gust of wind could knock me off as it is."

"And then what?" she asked.

I sighed and shook my head, reeling at the thought of it. "I can't do it," I protested.

"You really are pathetic," she nicely added. "Nagato goes through this kind of thing everyday."

"She does?" I asked.

"Any time she goes to read a book," Asakura answered, "it's like standing right on the edge of that ledge on the tips of her toes to her."

"Really?" I asked, finding that hard to believe.

"Yes," she answered, very sincere.

"So, why?" I wondered.

"Like you said," she explained. "You have to face your fears."

I then went right up to the edge and stood there for a few moments. It then struck me that this was the craziest thing I had ever done (and that's saying something). I then pulled myself back.

"I really can't," I said.

Asakura warned me, "You'll never conquer your fears until you do it, you know?"

I then shrugged and said, "Maybe there are things I'm not really meant to conquer."

"You're right," she agreed, smiling wider. "I like you better this way."

I then stood a little further in and asked, "Yuki is really afraid of books?"

"That's right," she answered.

"Why?" I asked. "That's a really strange phobia."

"It's actually pretty simple to understand," she said.

"It is?" I asked.

She promptly answered, "It's the result of a simple hormone imbalance."

"Really?" I wondered.

"Yes," she said, being altogether too casual about it. "And the funny thing is that she attributes it to some mysterious phenomenon."

"You've never told her?" I asked.

"I've told her," she answered, "but she doesn't believe me."

"That's doesn't sound like her," I said, unable to picture it.

"You'd be surprised," Asakura remarked. "Nagato isn't as rational as you'd like to think."

"How do you know what I think?"

"It's obvious. I know, for example, that for two years you insisted on thinking of Nagato as an android."

Maybe in the back of my mind. I think I really preferred to think of her as someone who was convinced that she was an android. And a little delusional about her reason for existing.

Asakura nicely added, "I could hardly blame you, though. I mean, she does think of herself that way. She likes to refer to her hormonal imbalance as 'erroneous data.'"

"That's a pretty cruel attitude," I said, getting a little fed up with her being so casual about all this.

"What do you expect?" she complained. "I'd help her, but..."

"But what?" I prompted.

She then sighed and answered, "There was that one time I tried doing just that. I told myself, 'It's just a little hormone imbalance. I'll treat it, and she'll be good as new.' Then all heck broke loose."

"Seriously?" I asked.

"To make a long story short," she answered, "it took months to fix her. I ended up having to do her a huge favor before she'd forgive me. That's all in the past, though."

So, she still thinks of herself as an android? Even after all this? I shook my head and protested, "She seems pretty mellowed out, to me."

"That's because of you," Asakura explained.

"Me?"

"It wouldn't be polite for me to say exactly how, but suffice it to say that she has the most aggressive tendencies out of all of us."

"She does a good job of keeping it bottled up."

"Yes, she does."

- x -

Whatever her reaction to books, I happen to know that Yuki does love to read. I have a pretty decent collection of my own, so I understand the feeling. When I went to my place, I began to wonder if there was something in my collection that she had wanted, so I called and asked her. She answered that she would be right over to give me an answer in person. When she arrived, I presented to her a short bio that someone had written on Haruhi. This book was new to her, so she immediately began reading it, enjoying it immensely.

The rest of that night was a bit of a blur, but I recall Yuki showing me a lot of her more aggressive tendencies, and I don't recall having any serious problem with it. It's difficult to talk about, honestly. I didn't expect her to come around this quickly. And though I did enjoy myself, I didn't really understand what she was going through at the time. I feel a little guilty about it, but it was really no big deal. You readers know what I mean, right? Right.

Later that evening, I was just thinking about going to bed to get some sleep, when my phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered.

"I'm sorry to call so late," said a really girlish voice. "You wouldn't know me."

"So, who is this?" I asked.

"This is Mikuru Asahina," she answered. "I tried to contact you earlier, but..."

"You did?" I asked.

"Is there somewhere we could meet?" she then asked. "Somewhere we could talk in private? It's about something important. It's related to Haruhi Suzumiya."

As she was saying all this, I noticed Yuki approach, looking curious.

"Oh, sure," I answered. "You mind if I bring a friend?"

Asahina replied, "I would prefer if it was just the two of us. You'll understand when I explain."

I then looked at Yuki and silently stated to her Asahina's name. I wasn't sure Yuki would catch it, but she nodded.

"Okay," I said. "Meet me at the park in the morning. Is that okay?"

"The park by the college train station?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "I'll see you then."

I hung up my phone, and then looked around at Yuki. She had undoubtedly overheard most of the conversation, and she seemed to be seriously pondering something.

"Someone you know?" I asked.

"We're acquainted," she answered.

- x -

I'm glad I chose the park for that rendezvous because I really needed a place to collect myself and recover from the previous night. As I'm sure you've probably figured out, I had had a disturbing dream that gave me a whole new appreciation for why Yuki was so depressed. I couldn't recall the whole thing, but just bits and pieces would come to me every now and then.

The dream had seemed real, and I briefly doubted my own existence when I awoke. It was an interesting sensation, I must admit: doubting whether I really was real. I then stirred from bed and saw Yuki, standing in a doorway. It may sound a little cliche but there was sunlight in her hair. I suddenly noticed little things like that or how she had eyes that never seemed to quite be looking directly at me and hands that were very deceptively delicate. It made me really appreciate the fact that I did, in fact, exist.

The fact that Asakura had prophesied all that told me how routine the experience was for her, and I had to collect myself at the realization of what that could mean in terms of there being perhaps ten or so different worlds. Surely, Haruhi was wrong on that point, but then I began to wonder when she had said that. I wasn't sure. All I could recall of that reference was this cat staring up at me like he knew me altogether too well.

As I said, it was a good thing that I went to the park. The beauty of late autumn put the craziness out of my mind just in time for the craziness to start up again from some new quarter.

"Hello," a girl said. "Nice to finally meet you."

I looked, and this girl was vastly more attractive than I had anticipated. And young.

I remarked, "A little young for a time traveler, aren't you?"

"Jeez," she complained.

"Does your mother know you're here?" I asked.

She then firmly stated, "I'll have you know that I'm a year older than you."

"Wow," I said. "Really?"

"So, what do you think?" she then asked.

"Of what?"

"My accent. Is it convincing?"

You'll have to forgive me for not noticing. The suddenness of realizing who this girl was, combined with the fact that she was stunningly beautiful, well it made it hard to notice subtle things like the slightly odd hitching in the tempo of her voice or the fact that she didn't quite seem to understand the right way to augment words for emphasis. She sounded more like someone acting in a soap opera than a real human being. It gave her a somewhat childish demeanor that highlighted the youthfulness of her appearance. And her voice. It was exactly how Haruhi had described it. This was definitely the time traveler she had told me about.

"Oh!" I said. I then commented, "It's really good. I didn't even notice until you mentioned it."

She explained, "I've had a lot of practice in immersion sessions."

I could just stand here and stare at her all day, but I'd probably start to feel insecure about that if I really started to do it. I promptly asked, "Okay, so what's the job?"

"Right," she answered. "Down to business. Like I said, this is about Haruhi Suzumiya."

"Okay," I said.

She then explained, "We need to create a chain reaction event at the latest possible time to avoid a potential situation in the future."

"Why the latest possible time?" I asked.

She answered, "That way, there's less that can go wrong."

"And what's the situation?" I asked.

She replied, "Alternate spaces growing out of control. It could destroy the world."

Could? It then struck me with crystal clarity that this is exactly what was already happening. I was immediately seized by the impression of this girl's incredibly cute ineptness, and I had to close my eyes and shake my head to dismiss the thought of it.

"I'm here to prevent that," she added, very enthusiastically.

"I see," I said, gradually regaining control. "And what do you think of Haruhi? I mean, personally?"

"I think she's great!" she replied, beaming with sincerity.

"You do?" I asked, a little baffled at how anyone could view Haruhi that way.

Asahina then admitted, "I've never actually met her, but I really admire her as a person."

In other words, she had seen Haruhi on TV or something like that and had developed a hero complex of some kind. "What exactly is it about her that you like?" I asked.

She answered, "Well, you should know this better than me."

Precisely why I asked. What on Earth could possess a normal person to think of Haruhi as anything resembling great?

Asahina remarked, "She does have incredible self-restraint, don't you think?"

"She does?" I asked, wondering where that had come from.

"Oh, jeez," she then said. She admitted, "Maybe I'm comparing two different time planes, here."

"Maybe," I agreed, wondering what the heck a time plane was.

She then softly added, "It's probably not a good idea for me to offer my opinion, actually."

I then told her, "On the contrary, Miss Asahina. I welcome it."

"Thank you," she said.

I then started, "I should probably just get this out of the way..."

"What?" she asked.

I explained, "You're very beautiful, Miss Asahina. And I'm having a hard time thinking straight, so..."

"Okay," she said in a really cute, super shy manner. "I'll get straight to it, then."

- x -

I could recall in some detail the events of Haruhi's life, so it was no big deal to narrow down what the best time would be to create some weird chain reaction. It really had to be the seventeenth of June in the year 1994. That was the day that Haruhi's mother decided that she needed a little vacation from being an adult, and she decided to inflict that stress on Haruhi. Miss Asahina protested at first that it was far too early, but I then explained that at any later date, we would have to confront Haruhi's crazy lust for significance. Tanabata in the year 2000 was okay if all you wanted to do was make sure she went to North High rather than a more convenient school. That seemed to me to be the reason for the temporal phenomenon that Haruhi had already related to me.

In particular, we really needed to go to a time before July, 1999. That was the time of Haruhi's infamous baseball incident. Afterward, the only thing we would be doing is feeding her insecurities. If we could make her more secure about her past, she might have more trouble maturing, but she'd be less insecure about her own ego. That seemed to me like a good estimation of how to fix this little situation. It was also convenient, that particular day, because Haruhi already had a vivid memory of what had happened. I knew pretty much where to go and when to be there (give or take a couple hours). Miss Asahina resisted the suggestion from a number of different angles, but I eventually persuaded her. I realized later that the main thing she objected to was the fact that that date had been Yuki's idea to begin with.

The best place I could think of to actually do any time traveling was at the club room, so we quickly went to the college and entered the room.

"As I suspected," I observed, "there's no one here."

"Great," she said. "If you could just look that way."

"Okay," I responded, turning toward the windows. "You have some kind of portable time machine you don't want me seeing?"

She explained, "It isn't a good idea for you to even look at a TPDD. It could create a paradoxical wave of..."

"What?" I asked, wondering why she'd stopped.

"Oh, jeez," she said. "No, please don't look!" she added when I began to glance around.

"Sorry," I said.

"I'm just going to have to..." she started, then sighed deeply. "Oh, come on!" she softly shouted, and I heard a soft thud after that.

"I don't hitting it will make it work better," I remarked.

"I'm not hitting it," she protested. "Well, not very hard."

"Is something wrong?"

"Give me a moment."

I then heard a few strange taps and clicks, and it really made me wonder about this girl. Was she really qualified to handle this sort of situation? I mean, wasn't the reason Haruhi was messed up in the first place partly her fault?

"You can look, now," she said.

"So..." I prompted, starting to look around again.

"I don't get it," she complained. "This has never happened before! I can't get a readout on anything!"

"Is it working?" I asked.

She replied, "The diagnostic said it was working fine, but..."

"So, maybe the diagnostic isn't working?" I guessed.

"Oh, jeez!" she exclaimed, looking a little panicked. "Don't say that."

"What's the problem?" I asked.

"Okay, well..." she answered. "Normally, when I'm about to make a jump through time, I try to recalibrate my chrono with a future chrono. Just to make sure we don't end up too far ahead or behind."

"You have to have precision?" I realized.

"Yes," she said. "The TPDD uses absolute positioning, and the Earth itself moves at a pretty good velocity. You don't want to be off by more than a few microseconds. Especially if we're talking about traveling more than a few days. Even slight perturbations become significant."

"Sounds scary," I remarked. Especially the concept of absolute positioning. Did that even make sense in the context of relativity?

She explained, "It's like standing on the edge of a cliff. The amount of time you travel can make the trip pretty scary. It can take a while for the mind to adjust when you arrive."

"So, you're stuck here?" I guessed.

"Oh no!" she said, looking very shocked. "Please don't even think that."

"But you just said..." I started to point out to her.

"I need to sit down," she said, sitting at the table and putting her hands on top of her head.

"I'll go make some tea," I said, recognizing that state of mind she was in.

- x -

Back in high school, Haruhi had often made me feel like panicking. For example, when Haruhi had started the web page for her little club, there had been mysterious hackers messing up the logo somehow. She had become convinced that it was the work of some of the teachers, and she wouldn't back down from that idea. Even when we later discovered some strange closed space with a giant camel cricket had been the real culprit, she insisted on her version of events. Nagato later admitted that letting Haruhi know the truth of the matter was a mistake.

Suffice it to say that it wouldn't do any good to worry about what was beyond your control. With this and a few other amusing anecdotes, I managed to help Miss Asahina calm down, and she decided to retreat to her "home" for the time being.

After my early classes, I decided to hit up the local library. That seemed to me like a good way to calm myself down. I find shelves full of books to be a very calming sight, and I picked out a book of puzzles. It would be amusing, I told myself. On my way to a table to read, I noticed Miss Asakura approaching.

"Hello," I softly greeted her.

"Hey there," she answered, following me. "You must really like to read."

"What is it this time?" I asked, starting to think that my encounters with Asakura were a regular thing.

"Figured it out, yet?" she asked.

"What?" I asked.

"How to fix this scenario," she answered. "Because I'm out of ideas."

I hadn't expected Asakura to be the one expressing something like this. This was a surprise.

She added, "This particular iteration has the added bonus of Miss Asahina now participating in our adventure."

I pulled out a seat at the table I was approaching. "Great," I said sarcastically, wondering how Asahina would react to the thought of being destroyed over and over.

"What is she doing here, anyway?" Asakura softly complained.

I answered, "She's here to prevent the world from being destroyed. A little late, I'd say."

"I do so like puzzling situations," Asakura remarked, sitting next to me.

"Yeah," I said, taking a look at the first puzzle in this book. "Well, we've already figured out what we need to do. It's just a matter of time machine problems."

Asakura then said, "I could take you back in time, if you wanted."

"You can do that?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "I do it all the time."

She sounded quite serious when she said that, and I immediately wondered how often she had gone meddling with the past.

"I'm just kidding," she then softly stated. "No, I'm not permitted to time travel. My superiors would undoubtedly have objections."

"Jeez," I complained. "Don't scare me like that."

"So, you've figured it out?" she asked.

"No," I replied. "I have no idea how to fix a time machine."

"I meant this situation," she said, looking a little annoyed.

"Yeah..." I answered, looking up and wondering if I should really admit this. "Well, I have a feeling I know what I need to do. It's just a matter of convincing myself to do it."

"Oh, is that it?" she asked. "We've been waiting for you to have the nerve to say what needs saying, huh?"

"Yeah," I answered.

"This is what it takes," she said, looking like she'd made some huge realization. "You need to see someone like Mikuru Asahina on the verge of being swallowed up by the fiery cataclysm that inevitably erupts if you don't have this little chat."

"You make it sound like I'm a big jerk," I complained.

"Did I say that?" she asked, grinning.

"No," I answered, "but I'm definitely getting that gist."

- x -

The puzzle book was nice. Simple answers to simple problems. A test of your means-end analysis skill. Would that everything in life worked like that. No, life is pretty messy at times. People talk to people, and what they often talk about is what people are saying to people about them. You have more than four people in a room, the logic goes flying right out the window. In Haruhi's case, the logic is frequently missing from the start.

Yuki would, of course, point me toward an appropriate linear approximation and tell me that it's within a certain margin of error. That's great if what we're talking about is some predictable form of turbulence. People and their problems aren't weather patterns. But good luck convincing Yuki of that. Then again, maybe Yuki was starting to figure that out. Maybe that's why she was so depressed. It would certainly explain quite a few things Yuki had been complaining about, yesterday evening.

I go by my hunches, and my hunches were telling me that I should take my lunch to the club room. The club room was strangely peaceful, which had always been an ill omen. As I started eating, Koizumi entered, smiling as he took notice of me.

"You seem awfully cheerful," I complained.

"I know," he admitted. "I saw you with a pretty girl I've never seen before. I was wondering..."

"Yes," I answered. "She's that time traveler Haruhi's been looking for."

"I see," he said, sitting across from me at the table. "I have to admit, I wasn't expecting that girl to be quite so attractive."

"You don't tend to believe what Haruhi tells you?" I asked.

"Nonsense," he answered. "If anything, I tend to believe that she understates things. However, in this case, I was thinking that she might have... Well..."

"Oh," I said. She might have been trying to intimidate me with thoughts of my own inadequacy. In other words: "She might have been jealous, is what you're saying?"

"How plainly you put it," he remarked.

"It seems pretty obvious," I stated.

He then thought for a moment and asked me, "Miss Suzumiya hasn't seen her, has she?"

"Should she have?" I asked.

"An interesting question," he answered. "I wonder."

"You aren't that desperate, are you?" I then asked.

"I do have this odd dilemma," he began to explain.

"You do?" I prompted.

He continued, "I've heard this warning from the elders in my organization that a terrible event is approaching. My duty is to try anything I can to stop it, no matter how strange or unusual it may seem."

"You sure they aren't overreacting?" I asked.

He answered, "I did seek out the wisdom of Miss Nagato. This is something I've been warned many times not to do. Nevertheless, she told me not to worry."

"Really?" I said, a little surprised by that.

"Yes," he answered. "She told me that either you would resolve this situation or we would vanish as if we had never existed."

"That does sound like something she would say," I grimly remarked.

He then predictably added, "I can't help but want to make myself available to you, should you need advice or something of that nature."

"Thanks," I answered, "but I think I know what I need to do."

"Oh, okay," he said. "Well, then. I'll just tell you to do your best, and I'll trust that you won't fail."

"Thanks again," I said. "I just have one little thing to ask."

"Yes, what is it?" he prompted.

I then asked him, "What do you think of Yuki? Do you like her at all?"

"I..." he started, then stopped and thought for a moment. He then admitted, "I think we have a lot in common."

"That's not what I asked you," I said.

He responded, "I know what you're asking me, but I'm telling you that it's not something I would casually talk about. Even at the risk of losing my existence."

"So, you like her?" I guessed.

"I don't hate her," he stated. "But I do think she is a little neurotic."

"You make that sound like a bad thing," I complained.

He sighed and then looked very annoyed as he admitted, "She isn't interested in me. Not on a personal level. Okay?"

"Okay," I said.

- x -

I had that itch in my mind that I couldn't scratch again. It felt like this was the second time, but I couldn't figure out how. I just wandered around the town until I noticed Haruhi playing a game at an arcade. It felt like the right time, so I just sighed and entered.

"Hey!" I said, getting her attention away from the fighting game.

"Oh, hey Kyon," she answered. "Here to watch me beat all the high scores?"

"I was just passing by," I said.

"Lucky you," she remarked.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Anything you feel like confessing?" she asked.

"Anything you wanted to hear?" I asked her.

"Yeah," she answered. "There is one thing."

"What is it?" I asked.

"Why?" she asked, still playing away at her game. "Why do people hate my album?"

This question hit me like a hard punch in the gut. I had thought she might feel a little upset about the reaction to her album, but hate? That's a pretty strong reaction. She then stopped playing and looked directly into my eyes.

"I just don't get it," she bitterly complained.

"No, you don't," I said, matter-of-factly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, sounding a little upset.

I felt a little upset myself, so I informed her, "It means that you haven't been listening to me. Again."

"What are you trying to say?" she demanded. "Just spit it out."

"I'm saying you really piss me off," I answered. "Okay? You're infuriating."

"What?" she said.

"I really hate how good your music is," I admitted. It really pissed me off to have to admit that, too.

"What?" she softly asked me, as if she wasn't sure whether she believed me.

"I'm jealous," I said.

"That's it?" she asked, still sounding very skeptical.

"Yes," I answered, very direct and very firm. This was all straight from the heart, so even Haruhi couldn't possibly doubt it.

"So, why...?" she started to ask.

"I don't know," I interrupted, getting really annoyed. "Maybe everybody is just stupid. But trust me. It isn't you. It's them."

"Damn right," she said. She was still so annoyed that her hands were shaking, but I think she was okay, now.


	55. Keep Me Happy

- Chapter 5: Keep Me Happy

I then stood on the edge of a thirteen-and-a-half year cliff and prepared to leap. That was fun, though a little nauseating. It made me really appreciate how Miss Asahina must have felt after traversing a few centuries into this era. I then wondered if this was how Haruhi herself had felt, preparing to follow her mother into a dramatically unfamiliar situation. All her life, her home had been this nice, peaceful place. Now, there was this bus ride to a place she'd never been before to wake some of her feelings of insecurity. Maybe I'm being a little melodramatic. It does make this into a more interesting story, after all. I honestly wouldn't give myself that much credit, though. My life is interesting enough as it is without me being a drama queen about it.

I don't think Yuki could relate to any of this cognitive theory I was toying with. In her mind, psychoanalysis is really the more effective treatment for any kind of mental ailment, so there was no chance of her being able to pull this kind of stunt in the past. Even so, I now had an appreciation for her approach to things. I found myself wishing that we could have just talked this over with Haruhi, using symbolism and sympathy and interpretation to accomplish what we needed. It made a lot more sense than standing on some unfamiliar road going by an old farm. After a few moments, I started to recognize this hill, and I traversed to the top (where I knew there would be a bus stop).

With me, of course, was Miss Asahina. She seemed like she really enjoyed this method of getting around. She was certainly well-prepared, and that struck me as a pleasant surprise. I had been expecting her to continue the trend of being bumbling and a little scatter-brained (but that's probably just some projection on my part). The more I spoke with her, the more I really came to appreciate her point of view, and it wouldn't be a stretch to say that I was already infatuated with her. She does have a lot of weird, esoteric knowledge of future events and various time planes that she keeps to herself, and that bothered me in the sense that I could ruin her otherwise untainted view of the past with my idiotic perspective. I think this was probably part of the reason why she was so candid with me, as we approached the hill top.

"I should let you in on something," she said.

"Oh?" I asked.

She admitted, "I think I caused that little difficulty you had with Miss Suzumiya."

So, I was right? I asked her, "You're the same person as that Tanabata incident?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"How was any of that your fault?" I asked, skeptical now.

She replied, "I didn't really prepare the way I should have. I think you'd have been a little more discreet had I done that."

"Oh," I said.

She then added, "Plus, we did rendezvous too early. Miss Nagato had been about to prepare you, but I messed that up."

"No problem," I told her. "Actually, it's probably more fun this way."

"Jeez," she complained.

I explained, "I kind of like the idea of Haruhi thinking I had all the answers and then discovering that I was clueless."

It gave Haruhi an odd familiarity with me that I must admit was appealing. I initially hadn't wanted anything to do with her, but her way of being insistent was just too cute. It also gave her a much broader perspective on the world than she had had. It made her more in tune with the insanity in the world itself, and that in turn made her a much better artist (in my humble opinion). It was a dramatically valuable change in her life that I didn't want to see go away, and I wondered if that would be one of the effects of this little intervention.

"So, you formed a band?" Asahina then suddenly asked.

"It wasn't my idea," I answered. "Haruhi just suddenly decided that."

"But you turned out to be a musician?" she asked, sounding disturbingly skeptical on that point.

"You sound like that's surprising," I noted.

"It is, for me," she insisted.

"Why?" I asked. "It's a nice way to pass the time."

She answered, "You just don't strike me as the type."

"Why is that?" I pestered her.

"Well..."

"I never would have guessed Haruhi to be the type to be so in tune with the artistry of music, but you see how that turned out."

Asahina then had a look on her face like she had received an order of Kobe steak instead of hamburger, and was at a loss for how to handle it. It made me wonder about the way she perceived me, though. I'm an artist, damn it. But stupid school keeps getting in the way. I then noticed Asahina glancing at me in a knowing way. Interesting. Somehow, she understood, though she hadn't really expected me to act on this ambivalence. In a way, I was finding my way out of the machine of myself and discovering the mysterious world of feelings.

I then guessed, "You've never heard her music, have you?"

"I have," she answered, "but it's probably not what you're thinking."

We then found ourselves at the top of the hill. Just as I expected, there was the bus stop, though it was a little more old-fashioned than I had pictured.

"Is this it?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"We're here a little early, huh?" I observed, noting how it seemed like the middle of the day.

She admitted, "I wasn't sure what time we needed to target, so..."

"Right," I acknowledged.

I then went and sat at the bench.

"You have any idea what you're going to say?" she asked.

"No," I answered.

"Maybe that's a good thing," she decided. "It wouldn't be good to sound like you'd prepared a speech."

"Just wake me up when it's time," I said.

- x -

I had been kidding, of course. I didn't expect to actually fall asleep at the bus stop bench, but I did somehow. Actually, I was just surprised to suddenly find Asahina poking me in the arm with her finger.

"Whoa!" I said, bolting awake.

"It's starting to rain," she softly explained.

"Oh, is that all?" I wondered.

She added, "I just remembered that that was the trigger."

"You're prepared this time?" I asked, unnecessarily.

"I brought my umbrella," she answered, "if that's what you're asking."

I hadn't noticed the umbrella. One more thing to give her kudos for. Just as I was starting to realize that Asahina had over-prepared a little (probably a reaction to her screwing up the Tanabata incident), I saw this young woman and a little girl appear. It didn't register in my mind who they were when I first saw them.

"Oh!" the woman said. "Hello, there."

"Hello," I said, starting to recognize them.

"I hope we didn't intrude," she added, looking a little embarrassed.

I got up and invited her, "Feel free to sit. I just had a little nap."

"You sure?" she asked, then immediately began to sit. "That's very kind of you. Thanks."

"No problem," I assured her.

"So, where are you headed?" she asked.

"Nowhere in particular," I answered.

"Oh?" she said, doubtful.

I explained, "I don't have anywhere to be right now."

"That's too bad," she remarked.

"Yeah," I agreed.

I wasn't sure how, but it really did feel like a bad thing that I was stuck in one place. Things were about to get interesting for me, too. I cleared my mind of those thoughts. They weren't helpful.

"So," Haruhi's mother asked, "what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a musician," I answered.

"Really?" she asked.

"That's right," I answered. "I play guitar."

"Sorry to hear that," she casually returned.

I laughed and asked, "You know about playing music?"

"My husband plays," she answered, "so..."

"Oh," I said. I had somehow forgotten that detail.

"This is my little girl," she added, indicating young Haruhi. The girl seemed unrecognizable to me, though. She was far too sedate and calm to be Haruhi, surely!

"Your little musician-in-training?" I asked.

"Not if I can help it," she grimly responded.

"That's probably for the best," I admitted. "You wouldn't want to be a performer."

"Why is that?" she asked.

I answered, "It's a pretty messed-up way to live."

The woman looked down, a little unsure how to respond to that.

I added, "I'm sure you've heard this kind of thing dozens of times."

"Yeah," she answered.

"No point in boring you with my story," I said.

"Actually, I'm curious," she told me. "How did you end up becoming a musician?"

"My mother," I answered, "as it turns out."

"Oh?" she asked.

"I started playing guitar as a way to annoy her."

"I see."

"I guess I was a rotten kid."

"I'm sure you had your reasons."

I'm sure she was curious, too. Something told me that it wasn't quite the right time to say. It was just too personal, and she would never cross that line with a complete stranger. She glanced around and then noticed Asahina.

"She doesn't talk much," Haruhi's mother remarked.

"Huh?" I said, then added, "Oh. Yeah, Miss Asahina here isn't much for conversation."

"Really?" she asked.

"We just met, actually," I explained.

Nevertheless, this extremely beautiful girl seemed very relaxed around me, and I'm guessing that had to mean something in this woman's mind. I think it was at about this point that she decided to trust me.

She asked, "I don't mean to pry, but why...?"

"Why...?" I prompted.

"It's nothing," she dismissed it.

"Why did I annoy my mother?" I guessed.

"Yeah," she softly responded.

Just then, a bus pulled up, and the woman looked relieved. I sensed, however, that she was still curious. I waited until she started to get up, first.

"It was basically about money," I explained.

"Yeah?" she asked, turning to briefly look at me.

"Isn't that what it always is?" I asked.

She then seemed a little unsure about whether to get on the bus.

"Isn't this your bus?" I asked.

At that point, she then started to get on, but then she turned and looked at me again.

"I didn't catch your name," she prompted.

"That's okay," I said. "Maybe next time."

"Thanks for the chat," she said, then continuing on.

The bus then pulled away, a moment later.

"So?" Asahina asked. She sounded a little worried, but I just smiled.

"That should do it," I answered. "Yeah, I'm pretty confident we changed her fate."

Asahina observed, "It sounded to me like you might have made her averse to becoming a musician."

"You really see it that way?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered, looking a little unsure.

I chuckled and nicely remarked, "How little you really know about Haruhi."

- x -

Haruhi does fret constantly about money. I'm pretty sure some of it comes from that little incident. My own mother has told me numerous times that I've never changed, so it stands to reason that Haruhi even at a very young age began to fret about money, as well. Haruhi's mother would surely observe that and decide that being a good role model was more important than money problems. It's not a huge change, but it is a change.

After explaining that, Miss Asahina was satisfied, as well. Or at least she seemed to be. We then leaped back ahead to my time, emerging in a park. A moment later, Haruhi somehow showed up.

"Having fun?" she asked me.

"Oh!" Asahina said, noticing Haruhi.

"Hey, Haruhi," I greeted her. "What're you doing here?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing," she answered.

I stated, "Probably the last fun thing for a while. Oh, and Merry Christmas."

"Christmas?" she asked.

I answered, "I assume you were told where I was as a favor."

She then turned to Asahina and said, "I really wanted to see this mysterious time traveler."

"Hello," Asahina greeted her. "You won't ruin my reputation, will you?"

Haruhi just sneered, looking for a moment like she might really do that.

"What am I saying?" Asahina asked herself.

"I told you, you know?" Haruhi reminded me.

"Yeah, yeah," I said. Sheesh. How long Haruhi likes holding onto her petty grudges.

"Anyway," she continued, "I had to agree to not interfere in your business."

"My business?" I asked.

She explained, "I assume she meant your pathetic student life. Or maybe this internship you insisted on taking."

"Oh, right," I said, remembering what Yuki had told me the previous night. "Yuki did tell me that she wanted to talk to me."

"Yeah. So..." Haruhi started, turning back to Asahina. "Any chance I can see the future?"

"Sorry," she answered. "That's classified."

"It was worth a shot," Haruhi remarked.

Asahina then complained, "I really should be getting home, actually."

"See you two later," I said, going home to my place.

- x -

I had been dreading that evening, but Yuki went easy on me. She arranged a rendezvous at a book store. It was a very relaxed atmosphere, and it did a good job of putting me at ease. For a while, we just sat and read.

"So, what's this about?" I eventually asked.

"Can I not persuade you to change your mind?" she asked me.

"This again?"

"I am not permitted an autonomous destination in this world. I must go with Suzumiya."

"You must?"

"While Suzumiya exhibits the data we need, I must be prepared to observe. That is my function."

It sounded weird. I mean, I know Yuki is an alien, but this is just too weird to believe.

"No," I said.

"No?" she asked.

"I don't believe it," I stated.

"Whether you believe it is irrelevant," she remarked.

"You can't just leave," I softly protested.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Do you care at all how I feel?" I complained.

From the hurt look on her face, I could see that she really did.

"Sorry," I said. "I don't know why I said that."

"Did you care about your music?" she asked me.

"I guess I had that one coming," I admitted.

She then reminded me, "You would be rewarded for your work, if you were to go with us."

"Yeah, I know," I said.

She then added, "You could attend university there. You would find the opportunities are better."

I sighed and decided to reconsider. I then said, "Well, let's just suppose I were willing to go along with you on this risky adventure."

"Okay," she said.

I then asked, "Are you going to be able to translate for me? I mean, my English isn't that good."

"You would adjust," she said.

"Maybe," I admitted. I then asked, "Would I adjust to all my old friends and family being thousands of miles away?"

"Yes," she answered. "I think so."

"What do I tell my mother?" I asked.

Yuki didn't seem like she knew how to respond to that.

I then continued, "When she asks me about all my plans for the future, what do I say? Am I supposed to just abandon everyone? What about my professors and friends who gave me this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work at a place I always wanted?"

"That's up to you," she answered.

Could I really throw away a good career just for Haruhi? No way! That's just asking too much. No matter how important Haruhi is or thinks she is, it just can't add up to the value of doing something you know you enjoy. I mean, how many opportunities do you get to work in radio nowadays? It's unheard of, right? And playing in a band is like the oldest cliche for not really working in the history of cliches. It's ridiculous.

"Yeah," I said. "I guess I just can't take that kind of leap, the way Haruhi can."

"Really?" Yuki asked.

"Anyway," I added, "I doubt Haruhi can stay away all that long, can she?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

I predicted, "She'll do another three or four albums and come running straight back home."

"Perhaps," Yuki said. "Perhaps not."

I then asked, "Does she really want to live in Canada? I just don't get that. Why so far away?"

"It's what she wants," Yuki replied. "I don't question it."

I then asked, "You sure you can't stay? Even if it's just for a few weeks in a year, that would be fine with me."

She paused for a few moments and said, "I'll see what I can do, but I can't promise anything."

- x -

As you can plainly see, I don't really deal well with stress. I suspect Haruhi is a little the same way, though she does enjoy inflicting stress on others. The next day at lunch, I went to the club room and was surprised to see Asahina.

"Hello," I greeted her.

"Hello," she responded.

I sat across from her at the table and said, "I thought you went back to the future."

"Not just yet," she said. "I have a few things left to do."

"Okay," I said.

"I still need to study Miss Suzumiya," she explained.

"I see," I said.

She added, "I was told that it will prove to be valuable for future research."

"Sorry," I sincerely apologized.

"For what?" she asked, sounding a little surprised.

"You'll find out," I predicted. "Oh... I don't suppose you mind life-changing drama going on around you all the time, do you?"

"Why do you ask?" she inquired.

"No reason," I answered. "Anyway, I'm sure you'll have lots of fun in Canada."

"Canada?" she said, looking surprised again.

"You didn't know?" I wondered. "That's where she's headed in another couple days."

"Really?" she asked. "During the holiday season and all the traffic?"

"I know," I said, thinking of all that waiting in line.

"You aren't going?" she then asked.

"I'm staying," I said.

"Okay..." she said, nodding.

I remarked, "Stressful, isn't it?"

"That's okay," she answered. "I don't mind this type of thing."

"Really?" I wondered.

She added, "It's a lot like what was going on with Miss Suzumiya's mother, actually."

"Oh?" I asked.

"She was deciding whether to go or stay," Asahina explained.

"Right," I said. "I forgot all about that."

She said, "You convinced her to be strong and stick it out. Or so I like to think."

"You don't know?"

"I haven't checked. I'm not sure I want to know."

"I have my moments."

"So, you're going to stay and be strong, too?"

"Yeah. I guess I am."

"I'm glad to hear it."

Hearing Asahina talk this way was really giving me second thoughts. Was I really being strong and sticking it out, or was I just taking the easy way out? I didn't know.

"What?" she said.

I asked her, "You don't think I'm being a coward and just avoiding doing the crazy things Haruhi would prefer?"

She answered, "I think staying is what she wants you to do."

"You think so?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

- x -

A couple days later, I went to the train station to see everyone off. It's pathetic and cliche, but how could I possibly avoid doing this? I looked around and noticed Asakura. She seemed quite anxious to be leaving.

"Hey," I said.

"Oh, hello," she answered, giving me her usual smile.

I explained, "I thought I'd drop by to give my farewells."

"You should know better than that," she nicely scolded me.

"Yeah," I admitted. "Haruhi really hates this kind of thing."

"She really hates feeling sad," Asakura added.

Now that I thought about it, I'd never seen Haruhi really upset about anything. It seemed strange to even think of her that way.

Asakura then stated, "She doesn't show it, but she is pretty depressed about leaving."

"Really?" I said. "Maybe I can persuade her to not leave."

Asakura then chuckled and said, "Oh, no you don't. I went through a lot of trouble to arrange all this."

"Oh!" I said, realizing. "So, going to Canada was your idea?"

"That's right," she answered, "and if you were smart, you'd be coming with us."

I then folded my arms and told her, "You're not reeling me in that easily. Oh, hey. Look who's here."

Miss Asahina then appeared. Once again, she seemed like she was a little over-prepared.

"Hello," she said, seeing us. "I see we've started saying our farewells. Oh, jeez. I'm going to start crying, already."

"Is she...?" Asakura started to ask.

"I'm fully prepared," Asahina stated. "Which train are we taking?"

"Don't worry," I assured her. "If you miss it, I'm sure another will be along soon enough."

"That's no good," she said. "Whatever we do, we should just do it when we can."

Asakura then started to look like she was having second thoughts.

"You're right," I agreed. "No sense in wasting time."

Haruhi then appeared, and she said, "Oh, hey. Hello again."

"Hello," Asahina responded.

"So, you're going with us?" Haruhi asked her.

"That's right," she answered.

"All right," Haruhi said, starting to laugh. "We're trading up. I like it. Come on, Mikuru! We have a train to catch."

Haruhi then began pulling Asahina by the arm toward a stairway down to the train's loading ramp.

"Goodbye!" Asahina called out. "I'll see you later!"

Just about then, Yuki appeared, and I called out to her, "Hey. So, are you really going?"

She nodded, stopping to take a look at me.

"Oh," I said. "Well, have a good trip."

"Thanks," she said, then starting to leave again.

This was just too much. I wanted to be angry, but it was suddenly funny. I began laughing, and Yuki stopped and looked at me again.

I asked her, "Are you really going to leave without a goodbye?"

"I..." she started. She then stopped and turned, hurrying down the stairway after Haruhi.

"Ouch," Asakura remarked. "Well, talk to you later."

Oh, well. That was about what I expected, anyway.

- Fin

- x -

- Extra

- Closure

Proofreader: Is it just me or is this story missing something?

Author: Whatever could you mean?

Proofreader: I think you know what I'm talking about.

Author: (laughing) You crazy Hollywood types. Always expecting things to end on an upbeat note. Jeez.

Proofreader: We've had this discussion before, you know.

Author: Oh?

Proofreader: The first volume.

Author: It's provocative.

Proofreader: Yes.

Author: It requires a proofreader to exercise a little forbearance.

Proofreader: It forces me to come up with extras, is what it does.

Author: Go right ahead.

Proofreader: (sigh) I really prefer a nice, normal story.

Author: I know. This is why I like to write this way.

- x -

- Three weeks later

Back at Kyon's place. Yuki is reading while Kyon gets a call.

Kyon: Hello.

Haruhi: Hey!

Kyon: Oh, hey Haruhi. What's up?

Haruhi: Koizumi just showed up out of the blue.

Kyon: He did? Strange.

Haruhi: Yeah. Things are getting a little cramped here. What's it like on your end?

Kyon: Don't ask.

Haruhi: (laughing) Another fight with your mother?

Kyon: (sigh) You could help me out a bit.

Haruhi: Not a chance. Oh, you have those new riffs?

Kyon: Yeah. A couple. I'll email them, once I can figure out how to do that.

Haruhi: Just have Yuki do that. You know you aren't technically inclined.

Kyon: Yeah.

Haruhi: She really is my best writer. I hate to admit it, but it's true.

Kyon: She did do all our best sellers.

Haruhi: (groaning) Don't remind me.

Kyon: I think she's looking at me funny, now.

Haruhi: It kind of pisses me off, though.

Kyon: What?

Haruhi: She's been cranking out these lyrics over the last couple weeks. We played a couple of them here and the locals went absolutely nuts for it.

Kyon: Really?

Haruhi: I know. Maybe it's the weather around here. Asakura loves it, but it's really starting to get me down. Especially with these new lyrics.

Kyon: I see. So this is why Yuki is here.

Haruhi: Yeah. I figured she could use a vacation. I know I could use a vacation from this style. I mean, I like heavy metal, but this material is just brutal.

Kyon: Nonsense. You're having a ton of fun, aren't you?

Haruhi: (laughing) Oh god! I really am, huh? I'll talk to you later.

Kyon hangs up and looks at Yuki, responding to a look.

Kyon: She seems like she's in a good mood.

- x -

- The Book Club

A coffee shop. Kyon is sitting with Kunikida and Taniguchi.

Taniguchi: Have you read that?

Kyon: What?

Taniguchi: That latest Haruhi book. It's some crazy stuff.

Kunikida: Oh, you mean "The Apotheosis of Random Numbers?"

Taniguchi: No, I meant the new one.

Kunikida: There's another one?

Taniguchi: "The Exaltation of Madness." It's quite an entertaining read.

Kyon: I've never even heard of those. Books?

Taniguchi: You really should read them, you know.

Kyon: No thanks. I like to read good literature.

Kunikida: "Apotheosis" is really good, actually. It's this murder mystery about a young boy who witnesses a fight between his father and a yakuza boss. It turns out that the kid is an android.

Taniguchi: He doesn't realize he's an android, though. That's the cool part. He learns about that later on. At first, he refuses to believe it, but...

Kyon: What's the other one about?

Kunikida: Yeah. I'm kind of curious, myself.

Taniguchi: It's great. It's about this guy who transforms into a cat. The thing is, though... He gets stuck as a cat, and he ends up trying to figure out how to free himself from that form. In the process, he ends up falling in love with the two women who take him in. The first woman turns out to be an alien, and the second woman turns out to be a movie star.

Kyon: That sounds uncomfortably familiar.

Kunikida: I have got to read that.

Kyon: ...

Taniguchi: So? You want to borrow my copy?

Kyon: I'll pass.

- x -

- Spoilers

Proofreader: What? No spoilers this time?

Author: Yeah. I decided to just level with the readers, this time around.

Proofreader: How very mature of you.

Author: Ahem, yeah. That and I couldn't think of a clever way to segue into a psycho killer reference.

Proofreader: (laughing) That one is killing me. Don't worry, though. I think the readers will love it.

Author: ...

Proofreader: I love it that we've been spoiling everything long before we actually write it.

Author: What were we doing for volume 13?

Proofreader: Grab bag? Wasn't that whatever you wanted?

Author: Oh, right. Right. And I decided already. Jeez... Where did my mind go?

Proofreader: So? What did you decide?

Author: You'll love it. It's the 'Haruhi doesn't use her powers' volume.

Proofreader: Oh, wow.

Author: Yeah.

Proofreader: So, this explains all the homeless references, huh?

Author: Huh?

Proofreader: ...

- x -


	56. Fractured Love

Origins of Haruhi - The Hunt For Sasquatch

- x -

- Foreword

They say that pride goes before a fall, or rather that pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall (I'm not completely sure what the difference is), and this story does a good job of illustrating the concept. And a good many other concepts. This is really just psychobabble potpourri, and I find myself marvelling at the many underlying themes: a candid discussion of the occult which then meanders around the concept of gullibility and sincerity. You may also notice the nature of uncertainty, the subtle and ironic nature of great events, the stealthy qualities of explosive emotions, and even a blunt discourse on the nature of truth and beauty. It can easily cause the mind to whirl. Were this my story to relate, I think I would have invited the reader to take a moment and relax. Consider at least some of my more worthy qualities before you leap into this scathing condemnation.

The story does end well, and it seems like a satisfying conclusion. In fact, it feels as though this story doesn't just end itself. It also presents a kind of conclusion to everything raised in the first eleven volumes. Yuki Nagato has assured me that these discoveries were really just the tip of the proverbial iceberg, but I'm convinced that this is really the start of the ending of the entire arc of the story. It makes me wonder what kind of reality existed in the interim, and Miss Nagato assures me that that will all come out in due time. Speaking of time, I've held onto this volume a bit longer than I should have. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I really didn't want to publish this volume. I think I now understand why Miss Asakura objected so strongly to the notion of my producing volume five.

It isn't so much the sordid implications of the story that bother me. You might not have noticed, but these stories all (with the exception of volume three) exhibit the more romantic side of things. I can't help but point to these moments of idealistic intersections as key moments for an entire world. (Actually, I have a great many volumes of information that relate the more trivial events, but they just seem like what Haruhi might call an "absolute waste of time.") Traditionally, I understand that the reader would be invited by the genre itself to think that such presentations are exaggerations or even outright lies. The genre itself disclaims its own assertions, and that has the useful side effect of making the actual disclaimer redundant. Even so, this story seems strong and forthright to the extent that I find myself wondering why many of these events didn't actually happen to me. That's the truly scary thing about it.

The thing to take away from this story, I think, is this morality play about the nature of pride. It does reprise a lot of what we saw in volume ten, though this is more like the inside-out version of that story. Haruhi, here, is the one baffled by my seeming lack of consistency, and I'm the one who provokes a confrontation to ultimately settle the matter. There is also a kind of story-within-a-story about Miss Asakura, which relates well to this theme of assurance and pride. Asakura's motives are quite a bit less hazy to me now, and I at last understand some of her frustrations, her hesitations, her point of view. The funny thing is that it turns out that she is jealous, but not for the reasons I had been convinced of.

Before I let you get into it, I'd just like to remind the reader that I truly possess a thoughtfulness and responsiveness that this story frequently overlooks out of modesty and a lack of enlightened self interest. I am a calm and sensible person, and there are times when I can go months without thinking about anything remotely odious or lamentable. I know this will probably fall on deaf ears, but try not to think of this me in the same sense that you think of the real me. Okay, I'm done. I think I'll just go sulk in my bedroom for a while, now.

- x -

- Chapter 1: Fractured Love

I'm not really one for occult nonsense. I guess you could call me a skeptic, but I also have this side of myself that likes to dabble. For example, I once saw a street side divination booth. You know? One of those fortune teller types. This one didn't even have some patented method. She was just one of those crazies who use astrology to tell you your future. I later had a long conversation with her, but the moment she laid eyes on me, she gasped and told me that my fate would be one of great and terrible doings. She assured me that I would walk with Indigo People, that I would consult Future Sages, and that I would commune with People From the Heavens. I viewed her as one of those Really Crazy People, and asked how she knew all this. She further surprised me by telling me the exact day and time of my birth. Freaky.

In retrospect, I really should have taken that as a warning. Even so, I didn't really believe until things like that actually started to happen. And I can be pretty stubborn about my skepticism, so I'm not even completely convinced to this day, though I have witnessed several proofs of all this. It all started in high school. Things had gone along much the way I expected. Just like in middle school, Haruhi Suzumiya had her own agenda, though she did become a bit more subtle. Rather than merely inflicting her crazy ideas of the day on us, she had the bright idea of starting a club upon which to inflict her crazy ideas. I guess she felt that concentrated craziness stood a better chance of success than spreading it around.

You can imagine my surprise when I noticed Yuki Nagato, who I had earlier encountered on my way to the local library. She now had the misfortune of witnessing Haruhi commandeer her club, though she never expressed a word of complaint about it. Haruhi then shortly recruited Ryoko Asakura and some guy by the name of Itsuki Koizumi. I had the impression that Haruhi wanted mascots for our club, and those two were the best candidates. I have to admit, Ryoko Asakura was a charmer, and I still more or less think of her that way to this day. Itsuki Koizumi wears this mask of friendliness (figuratively, of course), and it's so obvious to anyone who isn't an idiot that the mask dictates everything he says and does. I almost feel sorry for him at times.

The one who piqued my curiosity, however, was Miss Nagato. With her, I sensed that she hides behind a mask, but she isn't really aware of it. I could hardly be blamed for wanting to have a long talk with her, and she even turned out to be a lot more interesting than I had imagined. You see, Nagato turned out to be some kind of alien. Her mission, she explained, is to study Haruhi and some mysterious power that she has. It had all been a little much, but I had been hoping in the corner of my mind that she would contain a surprise like that. I can admit that. Maybe Haruhi had infected me with some brand of craziness or maybe this was just something I had always wished for. Someone I could talk to about crazy occult things, but who seemed like a perfectly normal, glasses-wearing bookworm.

The club was just an excuse for Haruhi to engage in her usual shenanigans and cause trouble in the quest to relieve her boredom. Haruhi likes the idea of the occult even more than I do, but her idea of fun is meeting aliens and talking to them. I didn't really think that Miss Nagato was an alien, so I just left that situation alone. We spent three months going from one crazy scenario to the next, and we never took a day off. It was getting close to summer, and I seriously thought about excusing myself from this latest misadventure Haruhi had planned. In particular, because of what it entailed. I went to the club that afternoon, armed with some excuses. Finding only Miss Nagato and Miss Asakura, I thought about just leaving my excuses with them and calling it a weekend.

"So," I asked Nagato, "you like to read?"

She nodded, her eyes never leaving the pages of the book she was reading.

"What are you reading?" I then asked, and she showed me the cover of the book. "Do you like it?"

"Yes," she answered.

"What do you like about it?"

"It's unique."

I still felt a little awkward with her, though I had introduced her to the local library. It turned out that she had had a consuming interest in books that I couldn't quite fully understand. I wanted to ask her some more about that, but then Miss Asakura spoke up.

"It's okay to go home," she stated in her usual calm and casual way. "I don't think anyone else is coming."

"I..." I started to reply. "Well, that's great, but..."

"But?" she prompted.

I explained, "I know Haruhi had her heart set on this trip, but I just can't do it."

"Oh?" she added.

I think it was about this moment where I first realized something about Miss Asakura. She just has this sweet and endearing way about her. You wouldn't expect her to ever get upset or to even take offense no matter what you told her. Her nice smile and her inviting posture make one feel very much at ease. Even the tone and texture of her voice seem like something out of a dream.

I asked her, "Don't you think there's something wrong with it?"

She guessed, "You mean how looking for bigfoot is roughly like believing in Santa Claus?"

"Yeah," I answered.

"I sensed you were trying to find a delicate way to put that," she remarked.

I added, "I was hoping to confront Koizumi about it. He seemed like the one who was really into it."

"Koizumi likes to help Miss Suzumiya track down and capture her fun."

"Yes. Her boredom is frequently the enemy."

"You're already so well acquainted?"

I think she was referring to Koizumi with that question. It occurred to me briefly that she might have been referring to Haruhi, but then I was the one who had been steering the conversation that direction. I had the distinct impression that she was steering me back toward him.

"That's the thing about this trip," I explained. "I already know what's going to happen. We'll spot something, and it'll become a 'shocking' incident. We'll then go around and around in circles trying to find the culprit, only to discover that it was really Koizumi all along. He likes to stage these silly little events to keep Haruhi amused."

"That's true," she admitted. "I already know what he's planning, myself. That's why I'm going."

I then asked, "Aren't you just going so you can score points with your friends?"

She folded her arms and looked almost annoyed. She then mildly complained, "Since you know us all so well, you can just read about it later."

"What?" I asked. "Are you planning on spoiling his fun?"

With that, she began smirking, and I knew I had hit it.

"Oh!" I realized. "I would hate to miss that, actually."

"Are you sure?" she asked. "You don't have to come along, you know?"

"Well..." I said, just going along with the playful tone of this conversation.

"Your presence is required," Nagato informed me in her usual dry and somewhat monotone fashion.

"Why is that?" I inquired.

"You were chosen," she flatly stated.

I think it was about this moment when I realized how Nagato has this rather abrupt and devious way about her. She doesn't seem aware of it, but she gives this sense of joyless resignation and steely determination. The weird thing is that I find myself oddly fixated by it, and even the weirdly breathy quality of her voice has a strange impact on me. That she inflicts these strange words on me doesn't really strike me as odd at all, though I do of course have a lot of trouble accepting it.

- x -

High school was convenient for me in one way. It was just a short ten minute walk to or from school. It was a bit of a hill to climb in the mornings, but that just made the way home a bit more leisurely, and I could even let my mind drift. I hadn't noticed until I realized at one time how Haruhi has to take the train to and from school, or else spend about an hour walking home. Lately, I had begun just enjoying the walk home by myself, though I was soon accompanied by Miss Asakura.

"Hey," I greeted her.

"You have a minute?" she asked.

"What is it this time?" I asked.

"I have something I need you to keep secret," she answered.

"Oh?" I prompted.

"Promise you won't tell anyone," she lightly insisted.

"Okay," I answered. "I promise."

Asakura always has this strangely sly smile, like there's something she knows about me that she isn't quite sure she wants to share with me. I sometimes get the uneasy impression that she's about to start hitting on me, though of course she never actually does.

"I have this terrible fear of being followed," she admitted, looking honestly troubled.

"Really?" I asked, unable to picture it.

"Yeah," she answered, "but it only happens in those types of situations. You know?"

"Not really," I said.

She explained, "When I feel like there's someone hunting me."

"I'll have to take your word for it," I added.

She then asked, "You really have no idea what I'm talking about?"

"Why are you telling me this?" I wondered. "Not that I'm complaining. Just curious."

She answered, "It's just that it could become an issue on this trip. I don't want to be alone. That's one of the triggers."

"I see," I said.

"You don't mind?" she asked.

I replied, "I'm still a little puzzled about what Nagato told me."

"She does say puzzling things," Asakura agreed.

"You don't stay in the loop?" I asked.

She answered, "Tell me, do you believe in Santa Claus?"

"No," I replied.

"Are you sure? Because it started to sound a bit like..."

"I have never believed in Santa Claus. Ever."

"So, I can trust you to be a skeptic about other things?"

"Like what?"

"Like bigfoot, for example."

"No problem."

I looked, and she seemed very relieved to hear me say something that I thought was pretty obvious. What had she been expecting?

"That's very reassuring," she stated. "In fact, I'm tempted to share all this with Miss Suzumiya."

"You are, huh?" I asked.

It then occurred to me that she was casting doubt on what she assumed Nagato had told me, and I then made a few other realizations.

I then asked her, "You do know what Miss Nagato told me, right?"

She answered, "I assume she warned you not to tell Miss Suzumiya about anything strange you might have heard."

"You assume?" I asked, but that just confirmed something I already knew.

She then asked, "Doesn't it bother you? What she told you?"

I admitted, "It bugs me that she says all those things in such a serious way. She needs to just chill out. It's always 'Haruhi this' and 'Haruhi that.'"

"It is, isn't it?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Someone should tell her, though," she said. "It isn't right to hide all that from Miss Suzumiya, don't you think?"

This sounded like a subtle prodding on her part, so I stopped and considered it for a moment, weighing in my mind how Haruhi would react. That would certainly not be a good idea, if Nagato was right. Then again, maybe it would provoke just the kind of reaction I was hoping for. Haruhi would undoubtedly show scorn and disdain at the thought of such notions, but it would open the door for a more lively discussion in the club room. I would welcome the chance to keep Haruhi distracted for a while, and this promised to keep her distracted for a great many years, if it were convincingly delivered.

I then asked, "Are you asking me to tell her what Nagato told me?"

"No," she answered, looking a little surprised. "No, no, no. That's not it at all."

"What are you getting at?" I asked her, a bit more firmly. "Just spit it out."

She sighed and then answered, "I want to tell her off. Just lay it all out there."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"I mean," she answered, "I want to be completely honest with her."

"So?" I said. "Just do it. You don't need my permission."

I then started back down the sidewalk, trying to contemplate what this development was about.

"That's just the thing," she said, quickly catching up. "I do actually need your help."

"You want some assurance from me?"

"More like, I need it. I can't do this without you."

How much did she know about Haruhi and me? It was a little shocking, to think that she could discern so much after such a short time. And why the need to clear the air? Had Haruhi really done something to her? It seemed plausible, though I couldn't recall for the life of me what she could have been referring to.

She then asked, "Or do you really believe in things like Santa Claus?"

I answered, "I'm not stupid enough to believe in things like aliens, time travelers, or espers. I certainly don't believe in ridiculous things like Santa Claus."

"So..." she prompted.

I then added, "I'm also not stupid enough to sign off on some vendetta you have with Haruhi. You want to have it out with her? That's fine. Just don't get me involved."

"All you have to do is say yes," she complained. "I'm the one risking everything."

"Are you actually getting annoyed with me?" I observed. "This is a first."

"I'm really more disappointed," she corrected me. "I thought for sure you'd go along with this. I mean, you of all people..."

"I won't stop you if you really want to," I said.

There was an implied consent in that statement. I think she recognized that, but she still looked a little uneasy. This whole situation was something dangerous, and I think we both knew it. I was still grasping for meaning, though, trying to understand why she thought that provoking me about Santa Claus would make me somehow change my mind about Haruhi.

"The world of the occult is all she has," I explained. "And anyway, can't you be a little more open minded?"

"I am," she answered. "Believe me. That's the whole point."

"Fine," I said, relenting. "Yes. You can tell her anything you want."

"Really?" she asked.

I then added, "Just one thing: You cannot tell her anything about herself. Don't tell her anything about what Nagato told me about her."

"Why not?" she asked.

"It's just way too weird," I replied. "I can't approve of that."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm positive."

"That's too bad."

"Why is that?"

For a while, it just seemed like she was content to walk with me. She then smiled and shrugged, a suggestion of a farewell in her mannerisms.

She then sadly stated, "I was starting to think it might be a fun little trip, after all."

- x -

It now occurs to me that Miss Asakura was trying to provoke me into revealing something about myself, but this is the kind of thing that you think about long afterward. At the time, I was just puzzled, and mostly because she seemed to think that I would be good company in case she felt like she was being hunted. That seemed to me like a mistake on her part. I am never good company.

Of course, it bothered me how she could understand me so well, but then this had not been my first surprising experience of that nature. You can probably discern a lot about someone just from the way a person looks, and in the absence of some kind of identical twin, a person will mostly act in a manner that fits other people's expectations. And talk a certain way. Or read a lot of books.

I tried to escape into my bedroom and was soon invited to a rendezvous via phone to the local library. This was a little surprising at first, but then I remembered that I had been the one to suggest this. I sensed in Yuki Nagato a kindred spirit of the kind that embraced the written word, and she was becoming mindful of my easy and convenient attitude toward her. She still didn't like me, or rather she didn't seem to like me, but that's fine. I'm more comfortable with Miss Nagato's somewhat abrasive approach to things than I am with Itsuki Koizumi's overly friendly attitude, for example.

I was a little worried I might bump into Koizumi, but then I recalled that I had actually wanted to speak with him. As I approached Nagato at the library, I made certain I wouldn't forget by making this my first question.

"Have you seen Koizumi?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered, not bothering to look up from her reading again.

For a moment or two, I could only stare in somewhat baffled amazement. I think I was more astonished by her apparel than by this terse reaction of hers. I don't recall ever seeing her wearing anything except her school uniform. It was unsettling, to say the least. It also put me in the mind of when I had been invited to visit her at her apartment. Her apartment was a bare room, adorned merely with a table and an unobstructed view of the city from seven floors up. I briefly wondered whether she ever changes her outfit. Haruhi, by way of contrast, changes her clothes as frequently as the law permits it.

"He was preparing a fund raising endeavor," Nagato added in her usual monotone.

I then sat across from her at the table she was sitting and asked, "He likes that kind of thing?"

"No," she replied.

"I think I understand," I said, picturing Koizumi looking all nervous and befuddled at something like a formal occasion. I apologize. I have a very unrealistic imagination.

"Is there some specific data you wished?" she then asked. This was just her usual invitation for us to converse.

"I spoke with Miss Asakura," I answered.

"And?" she prompted, momentarily looking up to adjust her glasses.

"She seems like she has a grudge with Haruhi," I stated.

Nagato informed me, "She perceives a sense of ownership of you."

"She's jealous?" I said, thinking of how odd that sounded.

"That is incorrect," Nagato corrected me. "I mean that she is defective. Her data is frequently faulty, and her tendency is to take a more proactive approach to this situation."

"Isn't she your subordinate?" I reminded her.

"Yes," she answered.

I then guessed, "Or is keeping her in line too much of a hassle?"

Nagato then informed me, "I find that her defects are frequently instructive and useful toward our goal of a more robust analysis of Haruhi Suzumiya."

For a moment, I couldn't help but picture Miss Nagato wearing a nice sweater. The weather was still warm, but the image came to me in a blinding flash of inspiration. I then zoomed this image outward in my mind, and filled in some of the other blanks: a white, sleeveless T-shirt, and a pair of ordinary blue jeans. Yes, this is what I think she could pull off. It would look absolutely brilliant on her, too. And maybe add a baseball cap.

"What?" she said, suddenly looking up at me.

After a brief glance in her eyes, I felt a little nervous. "Are you jealous?" I asked.

"No," she immediately answered.

I didn't want to start some weird conflict with her, but I definitely got this impression from the odd way that she worded that previous explanation. Maybe it was just my imagination. Maybe I was just toying with myself. I have a habit of doing that, but something told me that I could read her like a book. What I could see was that she was reading somewhat reflexively in reaction to some terrifying impulse. I wondered briefly what could possibly scare her. I had thought her delusional at first glance, but now I began thinking she could seriously be trouble.

I added, "Because it sure is starting to sound that way."

"You were chosen," she repeated. "It is uncertain for what purpose."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Her wardrobe and her abruptness, I could understand. Her logic and ability to convey reason seemed highly doubtful. I suddenly had to know why that was.

I remarked, "You really are stuck on this, aren't you? No offense, but if anyone is 'defective,' it's you."

"Please clarify," she flatly requested.

"Like that," I answered. "Right there. Why can't you just talk like a normal human being?"

"I am a humanoid interface," she replied. "My programming does not permit erroneous interactions. You are already aware of this."

"So, why read?" I asked. "Isn't it because you enjoy it?"

Human, alien, or android... It made no difference. An ability to convey ideas in a smooth and even fashion was surely useful, if nothing else. Only a defective human being wouldn't realize that. Then again, perhaps this was just my own limited world view getting in the way of my appreciation of something culturally significant. I briefly tried to view things from her perspective.

"I sympathize," I then said. "Believe me. My 'humanoid interface' is highly resistant to this activity called 'studying,' and my 'data' is frequently brought into question by my mother."

"Do you like to read?" she asked.

"More than Haruhi, for sure," I answered.

She then asked, "Does your mother question your attitude toward Haruhi Suzumiya?"

I softly chuckled at the thought and complained, "I should be so lucky."

"You should return to your studies," she then suggested, going back to her book.

"Right," I answered. "And you should return to your senses. No offense."

- x -

Funny. I hadn't expected Miss Nagato to admit anything, but I briefly realized that she had been making a subtle confession to me in that previous conversation. Enough said.

Early evening was starting to approach, as I found myself in a coffee shop. I had a drink and waited at a table for the other shoe to drop in this situation. Sure enough, I had barely waited ten minutes before Itsuki Koizumi appeared. He came in and sat across from me at my table.

"Weren't you at a fund raising endeavor?" I asked.

"Heh," he answered (not quite amused nor scoffing). "That's one way to put it."

"So, what's the plan?" I asked.

He answered, "We're going to take a drive up to Miss Tsuruya's summer home."

"Plan B, then? I thought you were dead set against that."

"I was."

I sensed that there was more going on here than met the eye, and I really had no idea. I was still a little dazed from my conversation with Nagato, and I think I was starting to wonder just what kind of madness could have inspired Haruhi to decide that this trip was a good idea. It seemed so unlike her.

"I'll let you in on a little secret," he added.

"Yes?" I prompted

He replied, "Miss Tsuruya is playing the part of our bigfoot."

"She's going along with that?" I wondered, trying to picture her in a bigfoot outfit.

"It was the only way she would let us stay there," he explained.

"I see," I said, nevertheless thinking that he was only giving me half of the truth (which he was).

"You don't seem too surprised," he remarked.

"Huh?" I said, briefly wondering what he'd meant by that. "Oh, about this deception you're planning to pull? No. Honestly, I think even Haruhi might just be playing along with you to be nice. It's weird."

"Weird?" he said. "May I ask...?"

I sighed and simply stated, "Haruhi is way too accommodating with you, if you ask me."

"You aren't the first person to tell me that," he remarked, very agreeably.

So, why didn't he just go the rest of the way and make some kind of romantic gesture? I couldn't figure that part out. He had the looks, though it pains me to admit it. I should point out here that Koizumi gives the impression of being effeminate at first, but then any confrontation with his person will convince you of his masculinity. Sure, he looks and walks and talks like someone with an almost motherly disposition, but the overall effect is one of diligent and steadfast gallantry. It's like he's so effeminate that it wraps around to masculinity (like one of those old Pac Man arcade games). This, of course, just makes it doubly unsettling that he has such a friendly demeanor.

I then marveled, "And you're just telling me right now that this whole trip is theater? I could turn around and tell Haruhi."

"That's fine with me," he added in casual fashion.

"You don't care?" I asked.

He answered, "I just had a lovely conversation with Miss Nagato."

"What did she want from you?" I wondered.

He replied, "To arrange this rendezvous, for one."

"Okay," I said.

"She then also gave me several warnings. For example, she warned me not to discuss my personal life with you."

"What does that have to do with me telling Haruhi about...?"

"Suffice it to say that I have ulterior motives when it comes to arranging these situations. Actually, anything I can do to make you spend time with her is good enough for my purposes."

"I don't think I've annoyed you that much."

It surely didn't escape his notice that I had more than once chafed at many of the suggestions Haruhi was prone to giving, and I had never made it a big secret that I generally viewed her with such disapproval as to make subtle comparisons between her and many of history's worst tyrants.

"You dislike spending time with her?" he had the nerve to ask.

"What do you think of her?" I asked him.

He cheerfully answered, "I think she has a very magnetic personality."

"So, spend time with her yourself," I suggested.

He sighed and then said, "Please..."

"What?" I asked, honestly wondering what was so terrible about that suggestion.

He explained, "You already know her much better than me. I don't see why this is a problem. You're very friendly and kind to her. Far more than she deserves. Is it really asking so much that you spend some time sharing your studies?"

"Well, there's the problem," I answered. "I do know her well. Enough that I could spend the rest of the day here describing her faults. You have a few hours?"

He then smilingly remarked, "Anything interesting is something I genuinely want to know about."

"It's funny you should say that..."

"Oh?"

- x -

I then spent the next half hour regaling him with certain tales of my experiences at Haruhi's home. He seemed delighted, though I did recount many a sordid discovery in her bookshelves and among her study materials of certain items that you wouldn't expect a decent person to have in their possession. I recalled one particular incident with amusement because she had only that day complained to me about certain disreputable girls and how she suspected them of "spreading their legs" to get ahead in particular social situations (to put it as nicely as I can). I'm not ashamed to say that I was delighted to find such amusing proof of her ignominious interests, though I did regret the subsequent feeling of having intimacy with her in a shared lamentable experience.

Koizumi then left, unable to bear hearing an offered tale of Haruhi's even more disgraceful deeds. Once again, I felt pity for the poor guy, and I relented. My mother would surely not let me stay out too late, and I did find myself facing some faintly uncomplimentary remarks at the dinner table, shortly afterward.

My evening meal done, there were still hours left in the stubborn sunlight of day, and I reclined in my bedroom with a tale of comedy and daring. I briefly reflected on the nature of caprice and courage. It occurred to me that those qualities are ones that show fairly outward, needing no real sign of their existence to be believed. If one is to be serious and forbearing, one has to be content with the acknowledgement of retrospect (and usually a very long one, at that). In the middle of my musing, Haruhi entered my room as though she lived there. Even more worrisome, I reacted to her as though I had expected her.

"Studying?" she asked, casually sitting at my desk and briefly inspecting my uniform lying on the floor with a disgusted look on her face.

"Huh?" I said, looking around to confirm that the disgust was in her eyes as well as her voice.

"Yeah, right," she softly scolded herself.

"I think I deserve a break," I complained. "I mean, we just finished our mid-terms."

"Idiot," she answered. "This is when you should be working the hardest. Clear it out of the way, so you can have the summer all to yourself."

"Like you would ever permit that," I remarked, lightly dismissing that clumsy remonstration.

"Ha!" she said, joining with me in my disbelief at her statement.

Haruhi (in her face) seemed repugnant to my presence, though I couldn't help but notice the very casual way that she leaned toward me. It seemed as though her mind and body were disputing which one could contrive to make her speak to me. This may sound crazy, but I find this appalling combination of semblance and complexion to be quite tantalizing. It doesn't help that I also find her to be extremely cute.

"Anyway," I added, "you can just finish up that science project."

"Why should I do it?" she complained. "You know it better than I do."

"This is a switch," I remarked. "You're going to claim ignorance and bail on me?"

"There's no point," she admitted. "We both know which one of us is the smarter one."

"Heh," I said, noting that this was the first time she could admit this to me.

"You bastard," she degraded me softly.

"You're really cute when you glower like that," I couldn't help but admit to her.

"Oh?" she said, a dangerous-looking scowl landing on her face.

"Come here," I said, sitting up and putting the book aside.

She then came to me in her mysteriously graceful way and we kissed as though by automatic impulse. I couldn't recall a more delightful exchange with her, either. I almost felt as though I were outside my own body. Almost.

"Son of a bitch..." she softly complained.

I laughed and chided her, "You love it. Just admit it."

"Why do you do this to me?" she then added.

"I was chosen," I answered.

That had been rather out of character for me, but how could I resist? That phrase had been plaguing my mind since earlier that afternoon.

"Or so Miss Nagato keeps telling me," I answered the look in her eyes.

"That's just bizarre," she said. "Why would anyone choose you?"

Now, there was a good question. I may have viewed my own chastity with indifferent negligence, but this galling question of purpose was weighing heavy on my mind.

"My god!" she remarked. "You're the most normal guy I've ever met."

I added, "Nagato did say that the purpose was uncertain."

"You were chosen to annoy me, maybe," she offered.

I had to agree with all this. It sounded good. In fact, I decided that this was my cue to remember something she had left in my possession. I had been rather shocked a few days before to discover her panties in my room. I reached down between my mattresses and retrieved them for her.

"Here you go," I said. "I assume you want these back?"

"How did...?" she started to ask, but then gaped amusingly.

"They're not mine," I casually remarked, "and I certainly didn't leave them here."

It was a very bizarre moment. I was suddenly unsure whether she would even admit to it, though they obviously were hers, and there was nothing she could tell herself to persist in some kind of denial. In fact, I recalled with some annoyance that this had not been the first time Haruhi had left something of this nature behind in my room.

"They're the wrong size to be my sister's," I added. "And I don't think I want my mother finding out about this."

Haruhi then came to her senses and snatched the panties out of my hand, betraying with blushing and a disgusted look the obvious realization that there was something in the recent past that we had ventured which she might not be completely ready to accept with dignity. I could only recall things like this with a certain revulsion, though I was more amused than disgusted at that particular moment.

"Why are you laughing?" she demanded.

"I just enjoy seeing you annoyed," I replied. "It's really cute."

"God!" she complained.

That done, I smoothly switched gears in my mind toward something that I had been meaning to ask her about.

"You ready for this trip?" I asked.

"The bigfoot thing?" she guessed.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Where are we going?" she asked. "Not Tsuruya's, are we?"

"Yeah, actually," I answered.

She then sat next to me and folded her arms, complaining, "How in the world did you ever meet that girl in the first place?"

"What?" I asked. "Does she annoy you?"

"No," she answered. "It's just that she has this creepy dark side. You wouldn't guess it just to look at her."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

I thought for a moment and then explained, "I met her at the library. She loves books. Big fan of a lot of the same comic books I like."

"Oh," she said. "That time you met Yuki?"

"Yeah," I answered.

"And now you get to be alone with her."

"Who are you...?"

"Never mind. Jeez, you take me way too seriously."

"Oh. Yeah, I do. Don't I?"

As usual, Haruhi likes to complain about anything and everything. If I take her seriously, she scolds me. If I don't take her seriously, she complains that I'm messing with her or wasting her time (which makes her even more upset). Actually, even when I do take her seriously, she still sometimes accuses me of being too flippant. I just plain can't win where this topic is concerned.

She then had the nerve to complain, "Why does a girl like that even have a summer home?"

"It's probably best if you don't know," I remarked.

"Hmm..." she said, doubtlessly wondering how she could exploit that to her advantage.

"And, actually..." I interrupted that dangerous train of thought. "It was Miss Asakura who asked me to keep her company."

"She did?" Haruhi asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Was she just messing with you again, or...?"

"No. She was being completely serious."

"Really?"

"She has some strange animosity toward you. I wasn't going to tell you, but I have a feeling it'll be an issue."

Haruhi is mindful of Miss Asakura's faults, and I think she could perhaps enumerate them better than me. Nevertheless, it seems as though Haruhi is unwilling to accept the truth of it. Haruhi can be rather stubborn in her preconceived notions of what people are truly like.

"She told you that?" Haruhi then asked me.

"She asked me for permission to tell you off," I added.

"Well, that's fine," she said. "I don't mind someone getting in my face, but why?"

"I don't know," I answered. "She just kept asking me whether I believed in Santa Claus and kept giving me doubtful looks. It was weird. Then again, I feel like she's from a whole other planet, sometimes."

"When did she tell you...?" she started to ask.

"When I was walking home," I supplied.

"Okay," she said. "Well, don't get too comfortable around her."

"What?" I asked. "Are you jealous?"

"You wish," she said, more annoyed than upset.

"You're right," I admitted. "You don't need to get jealous."

"Why is that?" she asked.

"Because I'm totally caught up in you," I casually stated.

I don't recall having ever told her that, and she didn't seem to know how to respond to it. Seeing her speechless like that convinced me that that had been the perfect time to inform her, and I wondered what kind of reaction she might give me. As I suspected, she just ignored it (or rather, I thought she ignored it).


	57. Run Riot

- Chapter 2: Run Riot

Up till this point in my life, I'd been plagued by the feeling that I'd been missing out on something. It seems strange to me now, but this was just my natural reaction to the idea that Ryoko Asakura seemed to need me for some weird reason. It was almost too much to even begin to contemplate. I mean, surely she had at least one boyfriend she could look to for assurance. It made absolutely no sense at all that she wanted assurance from me, but I didn't care about the reason. I was just charmed and tickled by the notion. The other thing that I found amusing was how Yuki Nagato always seemed to look to me for someone to confide in. She seemed more like the rational type, but I nevertheless found that she saw in me someone who seemed appropriate for giving such wild and disconcerting information.

Miss Nagato is a very discerning person, and alien or not, I firmly believe that she has good taste in friends. It would hardly be an insult that she chose to befriend me, so I decided that I would treat her voodoo as a gesture of good will and a sign that things were making a turn for the better. As for Haruhi, she seemed content to make things miserable and upsetting for me at every available opportunity. Even that wasn't really a problem for me, though. I had long since resolved to allow time to effect some gradual treatment of that condition. Surely even Haruhi would grow bored of my normalness and move on. I devoutly hoped that that would happen, though of course (as I'm sure you've figured out) it did not. I deeply dreaded the idea that she would leave me, though I spent a great deal of time trying to think of a way I could make that happen.

That morning was a rough one. I recall thinking that I was being dragged through a gauntlet of androids, all of them staring at me coldly. I found myself lying on the floor, at last realizing that my little sister was screaming at me to wake up. About thirty minutes later, I was finally awake enough that I could appreciate how I needed to get a little better prepared for the day's activities. Something Haruhi wanted to do? Oh, right. Some kind of trip had been planned. I also couldn't remember whether this was a half-day for school, a club-only day, or the beginning of summer holiday. Well, any way you slice it, it was a day for Haruhi to drag me into something. Heaven forbid she give me a moment's rest.

I stumbled out the door on my way to school and was halfway there before I finally realized that this was one of those club-only days. Disgusted with myself, I returned home and immediately fell back into bed. I was too exhausted to sleep, so I returned to my usual thing: reading a certain comic book series I liked.

The story was a mystery concerning the death of a beautiful high school girl. The first few volumes were spent with the characters speculating on the disappearance of that girl. After a good deal of time had passed, they finally discovered a body. It turned out that the girl had been hunted like an animal and had been left lying in the woods. I really liked this story because there was one obvious suspect, but you (the reader) knew that he was innocent because the narrative directly told you so. None of the other characters could possibly believe him, though. The story therefore had a great many twists and turns before ending in an exciting showdown between the narrator and the actual perpetrator. I was just starting to get to one of the really good parts when my phone rang, and I suddenly remembered what I was supposed to be doing. I needed to get to a certain train station.

"You're late!" Haruhi complained, looking grim and imposing in spite of the light and brightly-colored way she was dressed.

I looked around, noticing Miss Nagato, Miss Asakura, and Koizumi. For once, Miss Nagato was actually wearing something casual (which was a nice surprise). The other two were dressed about as I expected: just a little too flaunting of their superior sense of style, but not so much that it seemed extravagant.

"Yeah," I admitted. "I was in the middle of a comic book when I suddenly remembered."

"What did you just say?" Haruhi demanded, as though I had just declared a mutiny.

"Heh," I smirked, recognizing this long vendetta Haruhi has with my sincerity. "You heard me."

This was the point where I expected Haruhi to fume and possibly throw a tantrum, imagining that she could punish me and thereby somehow achieve some sense of satisfaction. I think experience had taught her that trying to modify my behavior is like venturing to get a group of leashed cats to pull your sled across the slopes of the Asahi Dake.

"What?" I prodded her. "No penalty?"

"You're begging for a penalty with that attitude," she snarled.

"Sorry," I said, not really apologetic. I just didn't want to stand there all morning, wondering how stubborn she could be. This was a game I'd already played too many times. And anyway, I'm far more stubborn than Haruhi. I had already proved that.

"Forget it," she said, very nicely. "Everyone makes mistakes."

"Excuse me," Koizumi interrupted, "but aren't we missing someone?"

"Who?" Haruhi asked him.

"Miss Tsuruya," he replied. "I understood that she was going with us."

"Oh, right," I answered that, suddenly remembering. "She gave me a call just now. She said she'd catch up with us."

"Okay," Koizumi acknowledged.

I explained, "Something about some last minute homework assignment she'd forgotten about."

"Why did she call you?" Haruhi demanded.

"Well..." I said, about to point out how Haruhi never took her phone with her, recently.

"I'm the one in charge," she complained. "Damn it. I'm going to need to have a talk with her."

"Of course," I remarked sarcastically.

- x -

A short trip north to the bus station, and we were finally headed toward our destination. There was some last minute confusion, and I found myself on a bus with Tsuruya, Taniguchi, and Kunikida. Kunikida is an old friend from middle school, and Taniguchi is some guy I met thanks to Haruhi and her weird pranks she liked to play in middle school. Tsuruya is a lovely girl with a terribly nice disposition, who has the unfortunate circumstance of living in a family that becomes very nervous around authority figures. I sympathize with her, but then so does everyone in Japan (everyone who isn't an authority figure, that is).

We stepped off the bus at a station in an old mountain town, continuing our conversation about what Haruhi might have been up to.

"So, she didn't have the money for it?" Taniguchi guessed.

"She did," I answered, "but there was something else going on."

"She didn't confide in you?" Kunikida asked.

"When does she ever?" I scoffed, somewhat amused at the notion.

"So," Taniguchi then asked Tsuruya, "where is this house?"

"It's off a dirt road over there," she answered, pointing toward a thick line of trees.

"In the forest?" Taniguchi remarked what I was thinking.

Tsuruya answered, "It's in the middle of a clearing. I don't think you'll have any trouble spotting it."

"Between two other summer homes?" Kunikida ventured.

"Yeah, actually," Tsuruya replied. "How did you know?"

"Just a guess," he admitted.

Tsuruya added, "We're all about half a kilometer apart from each other, so it's nothing to worry about."

It's nothing to worry about unless you have problems with poaching or disputes over boundaries or something else of that nature. I didn't want to get involved in some family issues, especially with her family.

"So, Kyon..." she said (indicating me), "I noticed Haruhi working on a certain science project."

"Really?" I said, trying not to think about it.

"And I have never seen her working that intently before," she added.

"So?" I said, wondering what any of that had to do with me.

Kunikida then elaborated, "So, maybe there's a particular reason for her to do it."

"Exactly," Tsuruya agreed.

For those of you who aren't privy to what was going on in my class, there was a certain science project that we were expected to do over summer. The peculiar thing about it was that we were paired up and expected to do this project as a kind of group project. This was something I had previously discussed with Haruhi, but it seemed like she was going to slough it off onto me. Now, I heard that she'd been spotted working on it? This had several possible implications, especially since she had notoriously wanted to be paired up with me for this project in the first place.

For those of you wondering about the name, "Kyon" is just a nickname. I actually don't care for people calling me by some conventional name. Why? Because I'm more comfortable this way. That's why. Moving right along...

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked them.

"Oh, come off it!" Taniguchi demanded. "We all know you two are seeing each other."

"Was doing that project your idea?" Tsuruya guessed.

"Actually, no," I answered.

Tsuruya then somewhat scornfully mused, "It's just a coincidence, huh?"

"Yes, it is," I stated, very emphatic.

She then started laughing, and accused, "You are such liar!"

I then shot back, "I'm not the one who came up with some 'last minute homework assignment' excuse as a way to ditch the rendezvous."

"I wasn't lying, then," she cheerfully retorted. "I really did have an assignment come up."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I did it just now on the bus ride up."

I may not be a liar, but I do know my way around the art of the dodge. I looked and noticed Taniguchi rolling his eyes as if to say that I was being stupid if I thought that tactic worked on him.

"Don't bother with Kyon," he told Tsuruya. "He won't give you a straight answer about Miss Suzumiya."

"So, how far along is it?" she asked.

"Are you kidding?" he answered. "This guy has known her longer than I have."

"Oh?"

"You should have heard some of his tirades from three years ago."

Yes. Those were all pretty stellar. I did have some pride in myself in those days, and it took a long time before I realized that all my best complaints would accomplish nothing.

"Of course," he added, "I did promise not to talk about it, so..."

"Yes," Kunikida remarked. "The mysterious silence that ensues at this point is deafening."

I explained, "You'd be nervous too, if someone had threatened to expose some ugly secrets about you."

This prompted a fresh bout of laughter from Miss Tsuruya. She's rather notorious for this, so I wouldn't pay it any special attention.

"So," Kunikida added, "it's safe to assume that Kyon has a lot to hide on the matter of Miss Suzumiya. Finding out has been my little hobby for the past couple years."

Taniguchi then warned, "Suffice it to say that you don't go around questioning their relationship."

"It's funny how many people are oblivious, though," Kunikida observed.

"Yeah," Tsuruya said. "Well, it's not like you see them holding hands or anything."

"Could we discuss something else?" I asked, getting a little annoyed with having completely failed to dodge even with my best attempt.

"Oh no!" Tsuruya proclaimed in mock alarm. "Too close for comfort!"

I explained, "I just don't want to discover Haruhi lurking in the shadows, listening to all this. You could understand how that might be a problem for me."

"We really shouldn't pry," Kunikida gently advised her. "It is rude."

"But that's what makes it fun!" Tsuruya protested in her characteristically very nice way.

"Anyway," Taniguchi interrupted, "what's the hold up? I mean, shouldn't they be here by now?"

"Like I said," I answered, "there's something else going on."

"A mystery guest, maybe," Tsuruya maybed.

"Maybe," Taniguchi also maybed.

"Wouldn't surprise me," Kunikida also also maybed.

Tsuruya then gasped, "Oh!"

"What?" I asked.

"I..." she answered. "Nothing."

Even Taniguchi was at a loss for how to respond to that. No matter.

Tsuruya began laughing again, then admitted, "I think I know who our mystery guest is."

"Who?" I asked.

"I'm not telling," she answered.

"Great," I said, thinking about how this would tug at the back of my mind all day.

She then hinted, "Let's just say that she's a friend of mine."

"You mean, Miss Asahina?" Kunikida guessed again.

"What?" Tsuruya asked, a little shocked. "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess," he answered.

"He really is a lucky guesser," I stated.

Miss Tsuruya seemed about to make some objection, but then Kunikida interrupted her, explaining, "It would be hard not to notice, actually."

- x -

So, we were soon approaching Tsuruya's summer home, perched on a small hill in the middle of a clearing, just as she had said it would be. The weather was quite clear, though it was much cooler than you would expect for the time of year. Nevertheless, we were getting sweaty and eager to go inside, having hiked the road and up a path with all our luggage.

As we came to the front porch, we couldn't help noticing Yuki Nagato sitting there, reading a book. I wasn't going to say anything, but Tsuruya looked a little disconcerted and remarked, "Really?"

"Yeah," I agreed, "I find it a little baffling, myself." I didn't bother to make it clear whether I meant about her reading or about her being here in the first place, but then I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answers to either one.

"That reminds me," she then said, cheerfully turning back to me, "what are we going to do? I mean, besides look for Japanese Yeti?"

"There is a certain game Haruhi likes in these situations," I informed her.

"World Conquest?" Taniguchi guessed.

"Yeah, that's it," I answered.

"How do you play that?" Kunikida asked.

Taniguchi admitted, "I'm a little fuzzy on the rules, too."

I answered, "It's actually pretty simple, once you learn the capabilities of the units."

"Is it anything like Risk?" Tsuruya asked.

I replied, "Yeah, only you don't get to keep advancing your combat units. You can blitz with your tanks or retreat if you don't like how the battle is going. It's a bit more involved and strategic, as well."

"Sounds good," she said. "Is she any good at it?"

"What do you think?" I asked, somewhat rhetorically.

As Tsuruya briefly evinced a thoughtful look on her face, I reflected on the many times I had played Haruhi at that game. She liked playing the World War II scenario, and usually as the Allies. I've always had a fondness for the Axis, especially the German campaign. Haruhi could never adequately defend Russia against my assaults, though she did usually conquer my Japan. Ah, fun times.

Taniguchi confessed, "I played it one time and got massacred. And that was a year ago."

I recalled, "I think you were a little distracted at the time."

"Was I?" he said, an uncertain frown now appearing on his face.

"Plus," I added, "you kept playing too defensively. Haruhi likes destroying. You give her an opening, and she'll eat your army alive with strafing maneuvers."

"Now, I remember," he said. "I was trying to blockade her with my navy and got out flanked."

Kunikida then asked, "Does she know where this is?"

"She should," Tsuruya answered. "I gave her directions."

"You did?" I asked, wondering when that had happened.

"I'm pretty sure," she answered, suddenly with that thoughtful face again.

How long ago was this conversation she was referring to? It couldn't have been recent, could it? I didn't care to think about it too hard.

"Don't worry about it," she then added. "Mikuru knows where we are."

"Oh, okay," Kunikida said.

"That's a relief," I told her. "You know, you're already going to hear about it for ditching the rendezvous."

"Am I?" she asked, starting on a curious smile. "I'm looking forward to it."

- x -

After getting the tour of the house, we were invited to take a short break before departing to our scenic endeavors. So, while the others stayed in the main hall and amused themselves with getting prepared to challenge Haruhi at her favorite game, I quickly retired to the bedroom designated for the men in the group, starting up with another one of my favorite short story anthologies I had prepared for the occasion. I left with the excuse that I didn't want to unduly influence them into becoming more formidable than Haruhi had a right to expect them to be (having defeated her several times), and they were glad to leave me to it (expecting to somehow accumulate greater wisdom in half an hour than I did in my five years of experience).

I didn't expect to see Ryoko Asakura so soon, but she apparently had arrived shortly before or after Miss Nagato.

"Hey," she said, beaming her usual sunny smile.

"Oh, hey," I said back. "What's up?"

"You're missing all the fun," she lightly complained.

"They still on that World Conquest?" I wondered.

"Is that what that's called?" she asked.

"I think I'll just wait," I added. "Wouldn't want to spoil Haruhi's fun."

She then remarked, "I don't think Miss Suzumiya has arrived yet. And anyway, I don't think the others are entirely clear on the rules of that game."

"They'll figure it out."

"You sure?"

Seeing Miss Asakura in this light, it really made me think. At school, it's easy to dismiss the lively and warm-hearted nature of this girl's personality. Seeing her in a nice short dress with very flattering knee-high socks and a delightful hat, it really forced me to experience full force the power of her playful disposition. She seemed to notice where I was looking, and she smiled as she took off her hat.

She then observed, "I'm really impressed with this house. It's a lot bigger than I pictured."

"Could I ask you something?" I said.

"Sure," she said.

"What do you think?" I asked her. "I mean, of Haruhi?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, seeming a bit troubled.

I put away the book and sat up, assuming my most serious pose. "Do you think she's a good person?"

"I..." she said, briefly scowling for a moment. "I would probably be better off not answering that."

"Enough said, right?" I guessed.

"Exactly," she answered.

"Yeah," I said. "You see? That's the thing."

"I'm not sure I..."

"Okay, well. Here's the truth. I've been seeing her... I guess you could say it's a romantic type of situation."

"Really?"

Her comically overacted surprise was a little surprising in itself, but amusing in that she registered my surprise with some quick annoyance at herself and a brief shrug of her characteristic guilty smile.

"I mean," she admitted, "it was pretty obvious to me."

"Oh," I said, quickly comprehending this strange sequence of odd gestures. "Well, that saves me the trouble of explaining."

"Yeah," she said, shuffling her feet in a nervous way. "Is the rest of this something I'd really want to hear?"

"I don't know," I answered. "I haven't said it yet."

"Oh my," she said, suddenly warming up to the idea. "Well, I definitely have to hear this, then."

"I figured you might say that," I remarked, trying to think of how to phrase this.

"So?" she prompted. "What is it?"

"Do you know anybody?" I asked. "Someone who's really her type? Introduce someone to her?"

"Do I what?" she asked, very honestly surprised this time.

I added, "Preferably someone who looks like Brad Pitt, I'm thinking."

"I do, actually," she answered. "Why do you ask?"

"I'd like to arrange something," I explained. "I'm wondering if I could impose. It's no big deal if you don't want to..."

"It's no problem," she said, indicating her willingness, of course. "Let me get this straight."

"Yeah?" I said.

She then summed it up, "You want me to set up Miss Suzumiya with one of my friends? Someone she might find more attractive?"

"Yes," I acknowledged. "That's it. Precisely."

"You don't like her?" she softly asked me.

I then sighed and explained, "It's not a matter of liking, really. I mean, I do actually hate her a lot at times, but I just feel like..."

"Like?" she prompted.

I added, "I would never tell her to her face, but she has taught me a lot about myself, and I really owe it to her to not disappoint her. I think she has a lot of feeling invested in me, and I don't want to betray her. Even so, I can't just overlook all her faults. I mean, I find her to be a very frustrating person. Is this making sense?"

"Oh my goodness," she softly exclaimed. "How absolutely clearly you see things!"

"Really?" I asked.

She then remarked, "I never would have guessed it, but you truly are a good judge of character."

"Thank you," I responded.

"You're welcome," she answered, smiling and then suddenly frowning. "It's just too bad."

"What?" I asked.

"I don't think it would be a good idea for me to set up someone with her. I really hate to rock the boat, you know?"

"You do?"

"But thanks for sharing this with me. It makes things a whole lot easier."

"Okay."

- x -

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you're thinking. I'm a terrible person. It's true. I can't deny what I am, though I'm not going to say that I'm proud of this moment in time. I'm not going to lie and say that Haruhi isn't a frustrating person, either. You can't picture being in a relationship with a person like that and not think about wanting to escape their fits of madness, their refusals to listen to you, their disdain at times for your very existence. I had never laid this problem at someone else's feet, either. So, you can understand that I started to feel a slight twinge of regret.

At the time, it just didn't bother me all that much, and I soon found myself reading through the last story in this anthology I was reading. It was about that time that Kunikida and Taniguchi entered.

"So, this is it?" Taniguchi asked.

"It's not bad," Kunikida remarked.

"But isn't there four of us?" Taniguchi said.

Kunikida answered, "Something wrong with that? The girls only have one room, too. And there's five of them."

"I guess I shouldn't complain," Taniguchi muttered.

"Are you kidding?" Kunikida said, somewhat annoyed. "You get to spend a weekend with a group of hotties."

"Miss Asakura is the only one I consider truly hot," Taniguchi answered.

"Really?" Kunikida asked. "You didn't think Miss Asahina was right up there?"

"I don't know," Taniguchi admitted. "Maybe. She does have a certain cutesy charm, though you have to really give the edge to Miss Asakura. She just radiates charm like an oven."

"I think there's something really suspicious about her," Kunikida remarked.

"Oh, is she too perfect?" Taniguchi guessed.

"Exactly," Kunikida replied. "Everyone should have some kind of obvious flaw."

"Like what?" Taniguchi asked.

"Well..." Kunikida replied, looking around briefly. "Like Kyon, here. He doesn't have any distinctive qualities. That's his obvious flaw."

"Thanks a lot," I muttered.

Kunikida then asked, "You don't think it's suspicious that we often see her sneaking off to have secret chats with Kyon?"

"Hmm..." Taniguchi started with a strangely ponderous expression. "Now that you mention it..."

"So," I interrupted, "what's Miss Asahina like?"

"She's definitely your type," Kunikida answered.

"Yeah," Taniguchi said, "but she's totally out of your league, too."

"I have to agree, there," Kunikida stated.

I sat up and gave what they said some consideration. It's true that I lack what you might call distinctive qualities, but I don't really consider myself to be ugly, either. I don't think it's unreasonable for even an attractive girl to like me. I do sometimes give people the impression of a deer in headlights, but this is from people who knew me when I was quite a bit younger. I like to think that I radiate a much more mature and thoughtful demeanor, although who am I kidding thinking that? I'd be lucky to have a girlfriend who rates at about average across the board.

Taniguchi then added, "Suzumiya is here, too."

"She is?" Kunikida said, a little surprised.

"You didn't notice?" Taniguchi asked.

"Huh," Kunikida mused. "That's strange."

"Kyon," Taniguchi then said, "I have to ask you something."

"What is it?" I said.

He answered, "What do you see in her? I mean, besides the obvious."

"Are you being serious?" I asked, knowing full well how rarely he is serious.

"Totally," he assured me. "You know, I've never really wondered, but... It's really starting to bother me."

"It bothers you to think of me as a weirdo like her?" I asked, a bit nonplussed at that idea.

"I'm probably more curious than bothered," he admitted.

"Oh," I said, a little disappointed that he didn't object to my question more strenuously.

"That goes double for me," Kunikida added.

"Well," I answered, "if you really must pry."

"You know I must," Taniguchi stated. "This is all I ever do."

I then explained, "The obvious reason is really the main thing, I think. And she isn't just easy on the eyes. There's something about the whole package. The way she walks and talks and even her weird moods. I keep finding it more strangely compelling everyday."

This is true. I find that when I'm centered and within myself, Haruhi is actually a very tolerable person. The problem is, I do still have this habit of losing control at times. I guess I have a bad habit of expecting attractive people to be perfect, and Haruhi is about as far from perfect as a person can get. That said, if you can hold on to her very loosely and not expect too much, she can deliver some very satisfying experiences. I'll do you a favor and not elaborate on what I mean by that.

"Okay," Taniguchi eventually said, looking somewhat doubtful.

I then admitted, "Maybe I'm a weirdo and I don't realize it. What can I do?"

Kunikida asked me, "Have you asked her?"

"That's the funny thing, actually," I answered. "I do tell her things like this, but I kind of get the impression that she doesn't take me seriously. Or maybe she just doesn't listen to me. I don't know."

"I'm not buying it," Taniguchi said. "Looks can only get you so far."

"This from a guy who only cares about looks," I quipped.

"No way!" he immediately objected. "I rate personality much higher than looks, though looks help out quite a bit."

"Okay, you're right," I said. "I have to admit it. I'd be lying to myself if I said I only cared about looks."

"So?" Kunikida then prompted.

"You wouldn't understand," I politely dodged the question.

Kunikida then asked, "Is it a passive-aggressive thing?"

"What?" I said, then answered, "No."

"Really?" Kunikida asked, still doubtful.

The key to understanding the so-called passive-aggressive mentality is that it is marked by an irrational hostility toward others. My hostility is sometimes difficult for me to express, but it is never irrational.

I then sighed and suggested, "Maybe you would understand if you knew her as well as I do."

"This is brutal," Taniguchi remarked.

"No kidding," Kunikida agreed.

"Tough luck, huh?" Taniguchi then said to me.

"Yeah," I answered, "but maybe things will turn around for me."

I think Taniguchi was about to ask what I meant by that when Koizumi appeared.

"Am I interrupting?" he asked.

"Hey," I answered. "Nice to see you made it."

"Thanks," Koizumi said, looking around the room. "I'm very impressed with this house. Very nice, for a summer home."

"You should save that for Miss Tsuruya," I told him.

"Believe me," he answered, "I would tell her that, but she only rolls her eyes and laughs."

"Why am I not surprised?" I muttered.

He then asked, "Don't you guys want to watch the game?"

"They're playing?" I asked him.

"Some kind of board game," he replied. "I'm not sure, but Miss Suzumiya insisted."

"I think I can predict how that'll turn out," I said, picturing Haruhi as I usually do: filled with smugness and overbearing.

- x -

The discussion then wandered into the nature of art and artists and how great artists sometimes betray their own art by letting their ability get in the way of their purpose or by letting their method rob their audience of the opportunity to appreciate the greatness of the underlying themes, etc. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that we were all in agreement as to how this related to Haruhi: that she has all the faults of a great artist and none of the virtues.

Having come to this amusing conclusion, we then decided to see what shameful cretins we were to think in this manner, and go embrace the more complex truth of whatever entertainments Haruhi had fallen to in the other room. We discovered that Haruhi was engaged in a one-on-one combat video game with Miss Tsuruya, and the others were merely watching.

"You've never played this?" Haruhi asked.

"Never," Tsuruya answered, continuing to watch the TV screen.

"I find that hard to believe," Haruhi muttered, wincing at a string of attacks on her character.

"Oh!" said a delightfully charming girl I hadn't seen yet. "Hello. Nice to finally meet you."

"Hello," I answered.

"I'm Mikuru Asahina," she introduced herself. "I don't know how I ended up in this situation, but I'm okay with it if you're okay."

"Oh, okay," I said, suddenly mesmerized by the beating that Haruhi's character was taking.

I looked again, and I noticed that Miss Asahina had become engrossed in the fate of Haruhi's character, as well. She winced and then turned away from the carnage after a few seconds.

"Mikuru!" Haruhi barked.

"Yes?" she answered.

"Don't flirt with Kyon," Haruhi warned, suddenly turning toward Miss Asahina. "He isn't the type who can say no."

"But I wasn't..." Asahina started to object.

Haruhi then warned her, "Don't make me go over there and kick your ass."

"Um..." she answered. "All right."

"Jeez," Haruhi complained, turning back to the game. "You guys are distracting me on purpose. Aren't you?"

"I'm very sorry about this," I said.

"No, that's okay," Miss Asahina objected. "I wasn't really doing anything, anyway. And this is a very nice house."

I added, "Kunikida has already told me nothing but nice things about you, and see?"

"Huh?" she said, looking at me uncertainly.

"Notice how Taniguchi can't take his eyes off you," I remarked.

"Oh," she said.

"Very funny," Taniguchi said, distinctly looking back at the TV screen. "I was just a little intimidated by Miss Suzumiya."

"So," I asked, "what happened with the board game?"

"I was having a lot of fun with it," Miss Asakura remarked.

Miss Asahina explained, "Miss Tsuruya ended up helping us team up to fight Miss Suzumiya."

I could see from her slouch that Haruhi was still upset about that, too.

Tsuruya explained, "It wouldn't have been fair, otherwise. She was totally taking over up till that part."

Asahina then said, "I think there was a dispute over the rules, and then... Well..."

Tsuruya gleefully added, "Haruhi knocked over the board."

"You knocked over the board?" I said, a little outraged and disappointed, but not really surprised.

"They were cheating!" Haruhi complained. "What was I supposed to do? Just sit there and take it?"

"Sheesh," I said. I really hate being right, sometimes.

Tsuruya then said, "We decided to settle the matter like this."

"Damn it," Haruhi said, starting to take another string of attacks on her character.

"In an honorable duel to the death," Tsuruya added.

Haruhi then conceded another round and complained, "I play a lot better when I don't have an audience."

"Excuses, excuses..." Tsuruya said, playfully scorning.

"It's true," Haruhi insisted.

- x -

We spent the remainder of the morning in watching those two play, and although it was close, Haruhi could never quite get the edge on Tsuruya. Neither one could play the game worth a damn, but that was probably for the best. No one had any particular advantage, and it just came down to who was the more lucky. Luck is one of those things that, by definition, cannot be influenced. That's why it's called luck and not something like authority or reciprocity or something like that.

I can endure quite a lot, but the boredom was finally getting to me, and I decided to venture outside for a change of scenery. To my surprise, I noticed Miss Nagato still sitting on the front porch. I went and sat next to her to get a good look at what she was reading.

"Still reading?" I asked.

She stopped for a moment and glanced at me, then went back to reading.

"Don't you want to join the fun?" I then asked.

"Should you not be studying?" she asked me.

"I really should be, shouldn't I?" I answered. "Maybe I'll just take a little nap."

For a few moments, I really thought I might be able to get in a good nap, but Nagato spoke up.

"You aren't ready."

"Huh?" I said, awake again. She was now looking at me, somewhat intently.

"For Haruhi Suzumiya," she explained. "For whatever she has chosen you to do."

"This again?" I said.

"I repeat," she answered, "you have been chosen. That is a fact."

Seriously? Didn't this ship sail already? Like about five or six times? It was getting tedious, now. The thought that it might be true was just ridiculous and pathetic.

She continued, "This may be shocking to you, but you need to hear this."

"Okay," I said, a little mystified by her sudden lack of obscure jargon.

She explained, "You enjoy the thought of being chosen. You relish the experience, even while you deny it. You appreciate its significance all the better because you fight it."

"You're right," I admitted. "That is shocking."

"There's more," she said. "This key issue has become a point of contention among my peers. My superiors have become uncertain because of what it implies. And you have made yourself a target for those who favor more proactive methods."

"Factions?" I deduced. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," she answered. "That is exactly what I mean."

"A target for what?"

"For violence."

For several moments, that response continued hanging in the air like a tangible thing. It was so sudden and so unexpected that I couldn't imagine anyone (except maybe Nagato herself) who seemed prepared to inflict some kind of violence on anyone. Then again, I can't picture Nagato as someone who would deliberately hit someone. I could see her as someone who might enjoy instigating violence. Maybe even on herself. Heck, she'd probably even brag about it if she weren't so damnably stoic.

"You suspect this, already," she added. "Trust me. Your suspicions are correct. And the danger to you is great."

"Why?" I asked, not really getting why she thought I suspected someone of wanting to attack me.

"I just told you," she answered, adjusting her glasses. "You were chosen."

I guessed, "You mean, people are after me because of Haruhi?"

She replied, "I mean that this raises certain questions. How were you chosen? Whose will created that choice? Was it truly a choice or merely the product of some underlying process? These are very vexing questions that demand answers."

I then complained, "You didn't answer my question. Why am I a target?"

She answered, "Because questions need answers. Am I wrong in stating this?"

You'll have to forgive me for being a little slow on the draw, here. It took a few moments for all that to even begin to register, and I was still coming up with nothing. Miss Nagato seemed to have this strange expectation that I understood her, and nothing could have been further from the truth. It did start to slowly sink in what she meant, though.

If you assume that I was chosen, then it does raise the questions of how and why that happened. Finding out the answers might prove to be dangerous, and that danger would almost certainly involve me. That much is true, and I could comprehend all that, but it seemed like there was a next logical step that I was missing. It began to bother me, but then something else began to bother me even more.

"We never seem to have a normal conversation, do we?"

"No."

"I wish I understood even half of what you were telling me."

"It's okay. Just don't give up on yourself."


	58. Turn To Dust

- Chapter 3: Turn To Dust

Having settled in, we then went to go get lunch. The restaurant chosen for us was a very nice one, and I later discovered that it had been Haruhi's decision. For all my unsettling thoughts and worthy doubts about her intentions, I have the utmost confidence in her ability to choose our food. That much has become clear. The girls sat at one table while the rest of us sat at another. Given that this is Japan, it was just assumed that this would be our arrangement, and I don't recall anyone (except Miss Asahina) making any complaint about it.

Whether Haruhi was aware of the peculiar nature of those girls she was sitting with, I can only speculate. I find it hard to believe, though I might have indicated otherwise. This is something that I think is important to realize about Haruhi. I may malign her person, her attitude, and her general outlook on things, but I have to admire the way she can wrangle together a weekend adventure like this one. And, forgive me for saying this but, Haruhi is a bit of a clueless idiot.

As for myself, even this guy who turns out to be some kind of interdimensional wizard is a relatively boring guy. I mean, even Taniguchi seems interesting next to him. We had a short conversation regarding who should have the duty of taking over the camera (that Miss Tsuruya had kindly loaned out to us for this endeavor), and then we started in on a discussion of those things that we dislike from time to time.

It was a lively discussion that went back and forth for a while until finally settling on me. I don't know how that had happened, but I soon shifted the conversation back around to where we had started with some careful deflections. Lately, it seems to me like there are a lot of people who take too keen an interest in my personal matters, though thank goodness I have a way with words. I should show some gratitude to my mother, who taught me all the arts of subtlety in one's conversation. The right words can go a long way. I guess I should also thank Haruhi, whose relentless profanity at times forces her to be very creative. I never appreciated what a word smith was until I was routinely confounded at her turns of phrase. It tickles my fancy to think that she did that deliberately, as though aspiring to be didactic as well as pretentious.

Before long, I had Koizumi expanding on the mysteries of travel and how one's choice of food could affect that. It was interesting, in that I began to realize just how much traveling Koizumi must do in an average week. I hadn't expected him to be the type to get around a lot. He then made an odd remark about curry.

He admitted, "It isn't something I would normally have on the road."

"Something wrong with curry?" I asked.

He mused, "I think it's all the garlic and pepper. Something about it always seems a little disagreeable when you have to get around a lot."

"That's a strange complaint," I remarked, trying to fathom what garlic and pepper had to do with traveling.

I then noticed Miss Tsuruya joining us at our table.

"Hey there," she said, sitting between me and Koizumi.

"Hello, Miss Tsuruya," Koizumi greeted her. "Something the matter at the other table?"

"They're being stupid, over there," she complained.

"Huh?" Taniguchi prompted.

Kunikida explained, "I think they're discussing Koizumi at the other table."

"Oh," Taniguchi said.

Tsuruya then asked, "So, you guys were talking about Mikuru, right?"

"Actually," I answered, "Koizumi was just touching on the finer points of curry."

"Really?" Tsuruya asked.

I explained, "He especially enjoys how well it stands up to travel."

Yes, I was being deliberately vague and facetious. I was hoping that Koizumi would take that as his cue to explain what he'd meant.

Kunikida then said, "We were discussing Miss Suzumiya, actually."

"Yes," Koizumi agreed. "Somehow, the discussion then turned to diet and its peculiar problems."

Kunikida remarked, "The topic has a way of veering one way or another when it comes to Miss Suzumiya."

"So, nothing important?" Tsuruya surmised.

"Yeah," Taniguchi admitted.

Tsuruya asked us, "Have you decided who's going to handle the camera?"

"They foisted that job onto me," I answered.

Koizumi then corrected, "I think it was Miss Suzumiya who decided that."

"She did?" I asked, wondering when that had happened.

"Back at the club room," he answered. "We had a long discussion about all this, a week ago."

Kunikida then asked him, "So, you're like the coordinator for all the weirdness that goes on in that club?"

He answered, "I think Miss Suzumiya simply expects me to make the best impression, whenever I then delegate these responsibilities."

"She listens to you?" Tsuruya asked, noticeably incredulous.

"I wouldn't go that far," he conceded, "but I seemed to have drawn more attention from her than most."

Tsuruya then turned to Taniguchi and complained, "I thought you were the one with the most experience."

"Yeah," he answered. "Well, I'm not really supposed to be here."

"Oh?" I prompted.

"Didn't I tell you?" he answered. "My father would kick my ass if he found out about this. He thinks I'm doing a club thing."

"Maybe you should just go home, then," I suggested, very seriously.

Taniguchi then made a sound like a snort, trying to scoff and not quite pulling it off right. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he observed. "No way."

"He had to try," Kunikida explained.

I shook my head and remarked, "I could just imagine what my parents would do if I tried something like that."

Taniguchi then warned me, "You'd better not get me in trouble."

"Don't worry," Tsuruya cheerfully assured him. "I'll rat you out long before Kyon gets a chance."

- x -

We then took a bus to a scenic national park. It was popular for us touristy types, so there were a lot of us on the bus. I got to sit next to Haruhi. Lucky me. It's a lot like class, where I find myself sitting in a desk directly next to her. I can't complain, though. I mean, I got the window on one side, so I could always stare down at the tennis courts if I got bored. On the bus, I got the aisle seat, so there was nothing for it but to talk to Haruhi. She had a lot on her mind.

Somehow, the conversation with her turned to a certain incident at the club room that I had hoped she would just let go. Haruhi does like to tell me how she thinks it's "no big deal" and I should just forget about it, so why does she keep harping on it?

"She knows," Haruhi grimly insisted. "I don't know how, but she does."

I tried to picture Nagato telling Haruhi something, but I just don't see her as the type to let something slip. It would almost have to be some kind of confession, but then I can't really picture that, either. "She admitted it?" I asked.

Haruhi replied, "It was really more in what she didn't say. I began a discussion of the web site and how that was set up, and she suddenly avoided the subject."

"How can you tell?" I wondered, thinking of how inscrutable that girl is.

"She is acting suspicious," Haruhi added. "I'm telling you. That Yuki is up to something."

"I don't think so."

"Maybe she has spy cameras installed in the club room."

I then remembered a few telling details of Miss Nagato's admissions to me about her alien status and her alleged objectives that made me think that that was not such an outrageous claim. Nagato admitted that she had knowledge of some of my dealings with Haruhi, and though she didn't understand how I had met Haruhi or how Haruhi had come to take an interest in me, Nagato did make some astute guesses how that had happened.

Haruhi added, "She also looked away when I asked her about that soda can."

"You think she saw...?" I started, unwilling to finish that thought.

"Probably," she answered, looking more ponderous than I could recall.

"Hmm..." I said, trying to sort out what else Nagato might have had to hide.

Haruhi then switched the topic, "Anyway, about the web site."

"What?" I asked.

She then asked, "Haven't you got those new pictures up?"

"The ones with Koizumi, mostly?" I pointed out.

"They draw the eye toward Ryoko," she stated.

"Oh," I said, thinking how funny it was for her to notice that.

"Sheesh," she complained. "I told you I wanted those up a week ago."

"Well, I..." I started to explain about the mid-terms and having this science project suddenly thrust on us, and how that had become a pretty big distraction.

"Never mind," she interrupted. "You want something done right..."

- x -

When we got off the bus, we found ourselves at a souvenir shop, so of course we stopped to go make the requisite purchases for friends and family that would feel left out had we had the gall to not return with said souvenirs. The best thing about the location was the view. I felt compelled to make a number of shots of the view of these mountains with the camera. It would have been a terrible waste, otherwise. It was all very much like one of those old Kurosawa films from the fifties.

It was such a beautiful setting that I found myself marvelling that I once again found Miss Nagato with her head buried in a book.

"I'm curious," I said, sitting next to her.

"Something else?" she asked.

"If you'll indulge me," I said. "I've been wondering about the web site. You did something to it, right?"

"Correct," she answered.

"What was that about?" I asked.

She answered, "There was a data entity using it to transfer information. I changed the key trigger signature, and the situation was dealt with."

"You weren't just using it to do your homework?"

"Is using the computer forbidden?"

I had a good laugh at that. I then answered, "Only for Haruhi."

"Okay," she acknowledged.

Whatever mysterious things Nagato had been up to, it had to do with the computer. That only made sense, though I wondered briefly how she had gained access to the web site. I'm not an idiot. I know how Haruhi likes to mess with the computer, so I put the web site behind a proxy and hid the access codes inside some unobtrusive pictures in the pictures folder. It was steganographically encrypted, and the key to unlock the codes in the pictures had a very strong password. A password, I should add, that I had memorized and never wrote down.

"How did you crack my password?" I asked.

"It's a secret," she answered.

She then made a typing motion with one hand, and I deduced that she meant that she had read the password from my finger motions at one time. A rather obvious method if your target gets a little sloppy. I hadn't been concerned about Nagato watching, at the time. I recall being more careful with Haruhi. It goes without saying that I created a dummy web site that she could mess with all she liked, and it wouldn't do anything. Any time she asked me about it, I would just make some vague excuses about lag time or whatever.

"Aside from the password," Nagato added, "I could have gained entry by means of a simple boot disk. There are several vulnerabilities in that system which you should look into."

I then realized, "So, you went looking into the club logo corruption and found a mysterious data entity?"

She answered, "I investigated the computer system as a favor to Itsuki Koizumi."

"He asked you to look into it?"

"Yes."

"Do you often do favors for that guy?"

"Does that bother you?"

Strangely, it did. I suddenly wasn't sure why, but it seemed to me like this girl would easily fall for a guy like that. Why it was any of my business or why I felt bothered about it was very peculiar. I sat there, wondering about that for a few moments.

"Do you want me to stop?" she asked.

"Why are you asking me?" I answered. "You don't always need my permission to do things you want, you know."

"Oh, okay," she said.

I adjusted the camera strap a bit on my shoulder and reached around for a can of soda. I then offered it, saying, "Here."

She smoothly took the can and placed it next to her on the bench.

I then cautioned, "Try not to leave this one where Haruhi will notice it."

- x -

So, now the time had come to go looking for bigfoot. To Haruhi, this seemed like the perfect place and time. To me, it was just a stroll through a forest along a well-traveled path by a small river. The likelihood of us seeing anything unusual was astronomically small, so I contented myself with merely shooting everything that I found aesthetically compelling. I have to admit, it was well worth the trip even if for just that reason.

Haruhi made sure that I was shooting in her direction quite a bit, making a scene if I lingered too long on any one particular shot without her in it. The rest of us (that I noticed) mostly followed along behind me.

"Are you getting this?" Haruhi nagged me at one point, pointing out what appeared to be a fork in the river up ahead.

"Yeah," I answered, getting a little sick of that question.

She then asked, "You didn't screw up the white balance, did you?"

"I don't see how I can," I answered. "It's all on auto."

"Where did she go?" Haruhi then complained, looking around.

"Who?" I asked.

"Miss Tsuruya?" Kunikida guessed. "I think she had to go back to the car. Left something behind."

"Sheesh," Haruhi complained. "Just when the scenery is getting good."

"She's not missing anything," I remarked.

"Are you kidding?" Haruhi objected. "Look at that reflection off the water. It's perfect! Now, if only we had something go strolling by..."

I then shot in amazement, as I saw this very humanoid but very animal type of creature go by.

"You've gotta be kidding me," I muttered to myself, keeping the lens locked on to this strange target as much as possible before it suddenly disappeared into the woods again.

"Oh my god!" Haruhi exclaimed. "Did you see that? That was incredible!"

"Where did it go?" I asked myself, scanning around the edge of the forest and finding no sign of that odd creature.

"Straight into the bushes," Kunikida answered.

A moment later, I noticed Miss Tsuruya and Miss Asahina appear. They were smiling and giggling like they had been joking around with each other.

"Hey, you guys!" Tsuruya said. "Did I miss something?"

I looked at Koizumi, and he seemed a little confounded.

"You missed it!" Haruhi answered. "A bigfoot just went by!"

"No kidding?" Tsuruya asked. "A real bigfoot?"

"Oh no!" Asahina complained. "I knew we should have hurried."

"It was probably just a bear," Tsuruya told her.

Haruhi then said to me, "Tell me you got that sucker on tape, Kyon."

"I got it," I answered. "Trust me."

"That thing wasn't any bear," Haruhi remarked.

- x -

We then returned to the SUV that Miss Tsuruya had rented for the trip back (though Miss Tsuruya and Miss Asahina returned by some alternate means). Before long, we were all back at her summer house, watching the tape I had shot from just before on a nice TV. Over and over, we watched as the creature went by and then disappeared into the woods.

"Isn't it amazing?" Koizumi remarked. "I mean, this technology. Even ten years ago, being able to go frame by frame with such detail would have been impossible."

"Yeah," Tsuruya said, "that's a high-def tape. You couldn't get this type of camera cheap until just recently."

"Nice," Haruhi agreed, still messing with the remote for the tape player, "but what is it?"

Kunikida stated, "It's definitely not a guy in a suit."

"Oh, absolutely," Koizumi said, gesturing at the TV. "Notice how long and uniform the fur is. You can't buy a coat like that."

He then went up closer to the TV and took a good look.

"Could you pause here?" he asked. "Good. Notice how the creature's attention is drawn to the trees and rocks. It doesn't even see us."

"Good point," Haruhi said.

"I hadn't even noticed," I muttered.

"Could you back that up a few frames?" Koizumi asked. "Yeah, right there."

He then gestured at a very nicely detailed profile shot of the creature.

"Notice," he observed, "also, how elongated the jaw is? How high the ears are? The distinctive shape of the nose? This looks more like a large macaque than any kind of hominid."

"It also moves like a macaque," Haruhi added. "That's what I thought it was, at first."

"Right," Koizumi agreed. "On all fours. A bigfoot really should be bipedal."

"It's definitely not a bear," I stated.

Koizumi then said, "I think we can rule out some modern form of Gigantopithecus."

"Really?" Haruhi asked him. "Wasn't Gigantopithecus a quadruped?"

"Was it?" he wondered. "Oh, yeah. Now that I think about it, it was."

"Well," she the complained, "the real problem with Gigantopithecus is that it's extinct."

Koizumi conceded, "It's too strange to fit the pattern of a generic hominid, but it's too large to be any kind of standard advanced primate."

"It's a mystery, then?" I asked.

"Not necessarily," Asakura answered. "It could just be a being from another dimension."

I had almost forgotten that Asakura was still with us. Koizumi looked a little startled, momentarily. He then had a very serious expression on his face.

"I like that idea," Haruhi said. "Yeah. A creature from a parallel world. What do you think, Koizumi?"

"I think it's certainly plausible," he immediately answered.

"Okay!" Haruhi said, stopping the tape. "Now that that's decided, we need to figure out how to share this information with the world."

I guessed, "You're going to auction this off, right?"

Haruhi then smiled at me in a curious way that I interpreted as an annoyed but approving look. She approved the idea, but she was obviously annoyed that I could predict her intentions with such alarming accuracy. I could sympathize. I'm sometimes alarmed at my ability to do that, myself.

- x -

The others then engaged in a lively debate about the consequences of discovering such a creature and the ethical implications. It was all a bit much for me. Such discussions are often dominated by those who have one or another unreasonable bias, letting initial reactions dictate their attitudes and rarely conceding even blatantly obvious issues.

I ventured into the dining room, finding Miss Nagato reading yet again. This was getting to be like a bad habit for both of us.

I then told her, "I like the fact that I always seem to find you with your face buried in a book."

"You're aren't excited by this new discovery?" she asked.

"Are you?" I wondered.

She answered, "That particular creature has never appeared before. It does present a mystery."

I then asked, "You aren't buying the dimension explanation, are you?"

"In fact," she replied, "that was my explanation."

"It was?" I said, suddenly needing to sit down.

She adjusted her glasses and explained, "I noticed a subtle shift in the dimensional vortex that usually surrounds Haruhi Suzumiya."

"Dimensional vortex?"

"My observations indicate that this vortex has existed for the past nine years. I have hypothesized that it relates to the temporal discontinuity that created this time plane."

Amazing. It all sounded like it meant something, but I couldn't summon the foggiest notion of what it meant. I was sitting with my back to the door, so I didn't see Koizumi appear behind me.

"Interesting," he remarked, startling me a bit. "You mind if I join in this speculation?"

"Go right ahead," I answered. "No chance of me disagreeing with any of it."

"Thank you," he said, sitting at the table with us. "If I may be permitted, I had often assumed that Miss Suzumiya's motivations did seem rather unorthodox, for lack of a better word."

"In what way?" she asked.

He answered, "I just assumed that she would be a skeptic, for example. I assumed she would never go looking for bigfoot."

"That was my idea, actually," said Tsuruya, who suddenly appeared.

"Was it?" Koizumi asked.

Tsuruya answered, "I just thought it was a funny idea. Who knew there was an actual bigfoot out there for us to find?"

"In any case," Koizumi continued, "I did also notice that she usually brings a lunch to school."

"That's unorthodox?" I asked, thinking how normal that is.

"Given her profile, yes," he answered. "She does also enjoy making more enemies than I had anticipated. And she seems to enjoy studying more than I had thought she would."

I told him, "I think that probably reveals more about you than her."

"I disagree," Nagato said. "That is an astute observation."

"So," Koizumi said, "if I'm gathering this correctly, what you have hypothesized is that all these changes are the result of a time traveler?"

She answered, "The proposed hypothesis is simpler than that, but that is near enough."

"Time traveler?" I asked, wondering how they had reached that conclusion.

"In this case," Nagato told me, "the time traveler was you."

"Me?" I said, drawing a blank on this time travel business.

"Correct," she answered. "There is no need for you to worry."

"Why is that?" I asked.

"So, I was right," Asakura said, suddenly appearing next to Tsuruya. "You did change the past."

"I have corrected the discontinuity," she corrected.

Asakura softly laughed, asking, "So, are we going to see the world destroyed again?"

"Not if my hypothesis is correct," she answered.

"Silly girl," Asakura remarked. "You've never been right, you know?"

This was all so baffling that I had no hope of following, and just as I was about to laugh, Miss Tsuruya broke out into laughter, herself.

Tsuruya then complained, "I have no idea what you guys are talking about."

"Welcome to the club," I muttered.

- x -

I then went to the kitchen for some water and was shortly joined by Miss Asakura. She was smiling in an odd way, so I just had to ask.

"What's this about?" I asked her.

"Have you noticed it, yet?" she asked.

"Noticed what?" I asked.

"I think Tsuruya has a thing for you," she answered.

"Tsuruya?" I asked, thinking how odd that was. "Really?"

"Uh huh," she answered.

"No way," I softly objected.

"Really," she insisted.

"I just can't see that," I said. "A pretty girl like her?"

"You're telling me?" she said. "Anyway, you might want to watch yourself."

"Okay," I said, not really believing it.

"It wouldn't do for you to get involved with her," Asakura added.

I smiled at the thought and remarked, "I think I have enough distractions, as it is."

"I'm surprised you didn't notice, though," she complained.

I explained, "All this business about aliens and time travelers. And now a bigfoot. You can understand if it makes me lose my usual lucidity."

"You still don't accept any of it?" she asked.

"It's like how I feel about Haruhi," I answered.

"Oh?" she asked.

I answered, "It doesn't matter whether I can accept it or not. I think I'm going to have to accept it, one way or another."

"This is a novel approach," she remarked.

"What?" I prompted.

"Anticipation," she very nicely said while scowling. "Somehow, I hadn't counted on you using that."

"Is it a problem?" I wondered.

She then asked, "Haven't you noticed anything strange about Miss Suzumiya? Even just one thing?"

I answered, "Aside from the way you guys keep talking about her, no."

She sighed and softly said, "I really am going to have to handle this the hard way, huh?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean that she scares me," she answered. "I don't suppose you can help me out, could you?"

"I don't know what I can do for you," I said.

She gently insisted, "Just try not to leave me alone with her. I'm afraid she might try something crazy."

"You think so?" I asked, having some trouble picturing that.

"Yeah," she answered.

"I think you're just paranoid," I told her, certain that I was right.

"Maybe I am," she conceded, "but I'd rather not take any chances."

"I'll help if I can," I offered. "That's all I can do."

She then said, "Good enough, I guess."

- x -

After that puzzling conversation, I found myself back in the bedroom, reading. I find the usual fare of prime time TV to be a horrid mixture of bad acting and bad writing. The others had learned the hard way that Haruhi was a sore loser, so that left out video games. I had long ago discovered that Haruhi likes to pick apart the shows she watches, as if she were capable of making a better one. It's just easier to ignore all that and amuse myself, which is what I was doing.

Koizumi appeared, his usual phony pleasantness radiating from his face.

"Getting bored?" I wondered.

He complained, "All the other guys want to do is talk to Miss Asahina."

"There's an interesting conversation," I remarked.

"Indeed, it is," he said. "More than I expected, anyway."

"You aren't here to talk about her, though," I guessed.

"You are correct," he answered.

I observed, "This plan of yours isn't exactly working out."

"It isn't the plan that concerns me," he said. "I've been privy to certain rumors that I find, well... I'm a little worried."

"What about?" I asked.

He answered, "I hear you had some kind of disagreement with Miss Asakura."

"Disagreement?" I wondered.

"Yes," he said, "and I haven't seen her since. Was there some kind of argument between you two?"

"No," I replied. "Was Haruhi giving her a hard time?"

"No," he answered. "Miss Suzumiya has been with the rest of us the whole time. I just did a quick search of the house, and I can't seem to find Miss Asakura."

"Did you ask Miss Nagato?" I then asked him.

"I suppose I should have asked," he admitted.

"It's probably nothing," I said.

"If you say so," he agreed. "It's just..."

"What?" I prompted.

He then looked annoyed and said, "Forgive me for repeating this. I'm sure it's malicious and not at all true, but I've heard a rumor that you were trying to get Miss Asakura to set someone up with Miss Suzumiya."

"And?" I prompted.

"You don't deny it?"

"Should I? It's true."

"I didn't just hear that."

"Yes, you did."

Koizumi took a moment to think, and it seemed as though he might actually lose the crappy facade for once. "Okay..." he said. "Am I to assume that there are some trust issues at work? Or is my asking a bit too presumptuous?"

"There aren't any issues," I answered. "I simply don't trust her."

"You don't?" he asked.

"I know better than to trust her," I stated, very proud of myself for having deduced this almost from the moment I met her.

"So," he guessed, "there's really no point in getting the two of you together?"

"I wouldn't go that far," I answered. "I think I simply have way too much pride in myself to be comfortable with an arrangement like that."

"I see," he softly stated. "So, you really just need a few more doses of humiliation before things can start to work out."

I was a little speechless at this admission. Well, it just seemed a little out of character for him to say that.

"Excuse me," he then said, a little startled. "I was thinking out loud, just then."

"Right," I said, thankful for that recovery of his.

He then sheepishly admitted, "I must confess that things are not working out the way I had planned. This news isn't helping much."

"For what it's worth," I said, "I do trust you."

"Thank you," he answered.

I then added, "I appreciate what you tried to do with this little trip. It was a good idea."

"I have learned quite a lot," he said. "Perhaps I should abstain from my incredulity a bit more often."

"What else have you been hearing?" I wondered.

He then said, "You've been seen speaking with Miss Nagato quite a bit more frequently. And there is a persistent rumor that you've been flirting with Miss Tsuruya."

"Hmm..." I said, thinking for a moment. "A rumor started by Haruhi, no doubt."

"About the time travel," he then said. "You should be aware that I believe it is true."

"Another rumor?" I asked.

He answered, "Speaking with Miss Asahina, I am led to the inescapable conclusion that she is from the future. She doesn't seem aware of it, but she makes a lot of subtle mistakes that betray her origins."

"You sure she isn't just another crazy person?"

"Miss Tsuruya believes as I do. It's pretty rare that the two of us agree. Take that for what it's worth."

- x -

I awoke that night with a sudden craving, and I went to the kitchen again. I discovered that Haruhi was also awake.

"You can't sleep?" I asked.

"I'm too bored," she answered.

I then asked, "You didn't drink all the milk, did you?"

I found a glass and then went to the fridge to fill it.

"When is something else going to happen?" Haruhi complained. "I thought I'd do so much more on this trip."

"You aren't satisfied with an actual bigfoot sighting?" I asked.

"I can't talk about it," she answered.

"Why not?" I asked.

Haruhi frowned deeply and then answered, "Tsuruya's father wants it kept under wraps. Something about family honor and the rights of the equipment owners. God! People can act so twisted sometimes."

"In retrospect," I said, "it probably wouldn't be wise to just reveal something like that. No telling how much scorn and derision you'd be facing soon afterward."

"You're probably right," she admitted. "It might be a little too shocking for people to understand."

I then stood there and drank my milk, wondering about this turn in the conversation.

"Well..." I said. "This is unusual."

"What?" she asked.

"You listening to me and actually agreeing," I answered.

"Of course, it's unusual," she said. "You know what we would usually be doing right about now?"

In a sudden burst, I could see it. In these types of situations recently, I found that Haruhi could display a striking lack of self-control. And I have a bad habit of encouraging that in her. For example, the club had really been my idea. I had come to regret giving her that idea, but I have to admit to a certain amount of impulsiveness of my own. I don't think Haruhi was really talking about that sort of thing, but I'm sure you can figure it out from the context.

"Oh," I said.

"Don't worry," she answered my look. "I'm not that bored."


	59. Paper Sun

- Chapter 4: Paper Sun

The night passed as usual, though the next morning was a little odd. I found myself unable to stay in bed even though it was still relatively early in the morning. I'm the kind of guy who usually sleeps in till noon on Sundays, so you can understand why I make a special note of this. I was in an unfamiliar place, though. The bedroom was so much larger than I'm used to, and though there were other beds, it seemed as though there was quite a bit more space than I'm used to. After a few minutes of being awake, I also began to notice the unusually noisy sound of feet going by in the hallways. They weren't the typical patter of a girl's feet, either.

Now, you might be wondering why I haven't mentioned the bizarre revelations of the previous day. It might have been because it was morning that such thoughts didn't cross my mind. It might have been the fact that, aside from the bigfoot, I didn't really feel any compelling reason to believe these revelations. It might have been the fact that the ideas were bizarre, and I generally don't care for such things. Whatever. The point is that this was just an ordinary morning up until I joined some of the others in the main hall. Then, things quickly began descending into renewed strangeness.

Koizumi, Taniguchi, Miss Asahina, and Haruhi were standing around, looking a bit uncertainly at each other. Among us were the rather unobtrusive men clad in dark suits who seemed to be associated in some way with Miss Tsuruya. I hesitate to say, even as I hesitated to wonder what all this was about. They certainly paid us no mind, moving freely through the house as though we were shadows on the floor. For a while, I could only watch in amazement as they wandered around, seemingly oblivious to our presence. When one of them took notice of me and then informed another one with some general descriptions of my appearance, it brought me around to the fact that this was all very real.

Morning is a funny time for me. I'm usually only half awake, and I sometimes blur my reality into my dreams. All this stark reality was a little surreal to me. Haruhi is no stranger to early mornings, though. Her cold considerations are often what get me to being fully awake (usually something about the club or some other crazy thing that she wants me to help with). Haruhi seemed a little unusually annoyed. I knew that she was still upset about losing our tape, but that didn't strike me as the subject of her annoyance. Something told me that there was a deeper, more fundamental problem. I immediately just assumed that it was food-related.

Under all that, I could start to sense a coldness in Haruhi. Something was really bugging her, but I couldn't guess it for the life of me. It just struck me as really odd because she normally just smiles and forces herself to be cheerful no matter what crazy things I manage to inflict on her. She does get upset at times, too. But it's always in some maniacal way that makes her just seem a little misguided. The expression I saw on her face this morning was something more out of melancholy, and that was something entirely new. For the past five years, anyway, I had never seen her look so down.

"You're awake?" she asked.

I replied, "I couldn't sleep with all the people going about. What is going on here?"

Koizumi answered, "They told me that they were associates of Miss Tsuruya's family."

"And Tsuruya?" I asked.

"She's asleep," Asahina answered.

Haruhi remarked, "That girl could sleep through an earthquake."

"What did they want?" I then asked.

"Besides the tape we shot?" Koizumi answered. "I don't know."

Right about then, the strange men began leaving. One of them took out his cell phone and began to make a call as he left the house.

Haruhi complained, "You gave them our bigfoot tape?"

"I wasn't in a position to object," he answered, a little apologetic.

"That's just great," she said, looking defeated again.

"You didn't see that coming?" I asked. "But what were they looking for?"

"Who knows?" Koizumi replied. "I suspect that they got wind of Miss Asakura's disappearance."

"She disappeared?" I asked.

"I told you last night," he answered. "Remember?"

"Oh," I said. I remembered him saying that, but I also remember not really thinking what he was saying would turn out to be true.

He then surmised, "Perhaps they decided to investigate the matter, themselves."

"Why would they be interested in that?" I wondered.

He answered, "I suppose for the same reason they wanted the tape. To protect the honor of the family. It wouldn't do to have someone turn up unexpectedly, especially if the circumstances were..."

"What are you saying?" Taniguchi asked him, sounding a little upset.

Haruhi answered, "He's saying that he thinks Kyon might have knocked her out and tied her up, leaving her in the cellar."

"I apologize," Koizumi said, looking a little disgusted. "I should have said that they were probably hoping to discover the result of some silly prank. It seems like they came to the same conclusion that I did."

"What conclusion?" Taniguchi asked.

Koizumi answered, "That Miss Asakura simply decided to return home."

"I highly doubt that," I said.

"Oh?" Taniguchi asked.

I explained, "Last thing she asked me was to make sure I didn't leave her alone with Haruhi. I assumed she meant on whatever expedition we were planning on taking today."

"Why would she ask that from you?" Taniguchi asked.

"I don't know," I replied, "but she has been pretty hostile toward Haruhi. She told me that she was afraid of her."

"Likely story," Taniguchi muttered.

"You think I'm making this up?" I asked, getting a little annoyed at his bizarre insinuations.

"Why not?" he answered. "It's not exactly a big secret that you asked her to set up Haruhi with someone else."

Ah, so I did. Taniguchi is such a master of diplomacy, no? And here, I thought this was going to be a fun trip, after all.

"So?" Haruhi demanded.

"So," Taniguchi answered, "maybe Kyon had his eyes on her and she rejected him."

"Ridiculous," she immediately scoffed.

"Why do you say that?" he asked.

"She isn't his type," she smoothly replied. "And he would never have the guts to aim for a girl like her."

"I don't think it's ridiculous," he muttered, starting to look a little uncertain, nevertheless.

I then speculated, "Maybe you got jealous of all the attention she was giving me and made a move on her, yourself."

"Nice," he said, grimly amused. "Except for one little problem: I was never alone with her. Or ever alone, for that matter. Miss Asahina can vouch for my whereabouts."

"He is right about that," Asahina remarked, looking just a bit exasperated at that moment.

"In any case," I said, annoyed with myself now, "I think we're getting ahead of ourselves."

"He's right," Koizumi agreed. "Jumping to conclusions isn't helping the situation. We don't even know that anything has happened."

"Did she really say she was afraid of me?" Haruhi wondered.

"Yes," I answered.

"Why would she say that?" Haruhi then asked.

"Why not?" I replied. "She's a weirdo, you know. She told me the other day that she's an alien."

I hadn't really been thinking about what I was telling Haruhi right then, and it later occurred to me that Haruhi really listened. She was finally taking me seriously, though I suspected she didn't completely believe me. Me telling her this was surely not helping my cause, though she was surely tempted to believe me.

I then just said, "You guys need to all just chill out. I'm sure this is nothing."

"Or maybe a bear attack," Koizumi guessed.

"I hope not," I sincerely answered that.

- x -

Later that morning, we went to a coffee shop for breakfast. It was nice and convenient, though the ambiance needed a little help for this particular crowd. We were at a small table, with Haruhi sitting across from Koizumi, and me sitting across from Miss Nagato.

I turned to Haruhi and nicely asked, "Ignoring me again?"

"Heh," she said, like I had just told a joke.

"So typical," I remarked. "You know, maybe you should listen when people talk to you."

Haruhi scowled and asked, "Do you listen to yourself?"

"What?" I asked.

She then bitterly complained, "You say you're caught up with me and that you can't even think of anyone but me, and then you turn around and try to manipulate me into finding someone else."

"So?"

"And this isn't the first time you've done this."

I could only marvel that she thought she had a right to complain. "Seriously?" I asked, wondering how this all worked. She didn't own me. She said so, herself, on numerous occasions.

"And then there's that," she complained.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh, don't play stupid," she insisted. "That innocent routine. It's starting to piss me off."

"Why shouldn't you date other people?" I asked. "You've never once said that you wanted to date me. Or ever said that you liked me, for that matter."

"Maybe I should," she answered, clearly somewhat petulant.

I then wondered who would date someone like Haruhi. I suppose a guy could put up with her for a couple weeks, if he really worked at it. Most guys would probably last about twenty minutes. Taniguchi would start to hate her after about five minutes, I think (not that he would even attempt to date her at this point).

"Where did the others go?" Koizumi nicely asked.

"I sent them home," Haruhi answered.

Tsuruya then suddenly appeared, giving this scene some much-needed levity. "Hey, everybody!" she greeted us. "So, what are we doing here?"

I grimly replied, "Trying to figure out what happened to this little trip."

"Something went wrong?" she asked, taking a seat between me and Haruhi.

"A few things," Haruhi answered. "For example, the tape we shot of our bigfoot got stolen from us."

"What?" Tsuruya said, looking very surprised. She then explained, "No, that was just my dad. I can never talk sense to him. Don't worry about it."

"I know the feeling," Haruhi said. "Men are so impossible to understand."

"You're one to talk," I remarked.

"Anyway," Haruhi continued, "no sooner had that happened then I hear about Kyon wanting to set me up."

"So?" Tsuruya said, looking very unsurprised.

I told her, "The disturbing thing is that Miss Asakura was the only one who could have started that rumor."

From the look on Haruhi's face when I said that, I'm guessing she hadn't thought of that.

Tsuruya then accused, "So, you tried to shut her up?"

It was such a bizarre accusation that I was just dumbfounded that anyone could think it. Yet, she said it with such brilliant timing that anyone overhearing would think she was having an inspired moment of truth.

She then of course laughed and protested, "I'm just kidding! Jeez! Don't be so serious."

Haruhi then complained, "And, as if that wasn't enough, there wasn't anything in the fridge for breakfast."

"There wasn't?" Tsuruya said. "Sheesh."

"I know," Haruhi answered. "It's like the whole world is mad at me."

"I thought you two were dating," Tsuruya said, very matter-of-factly.

"What made you think that?" I asked.

"So, you aren't?" she asked.

"What do you care?" Haruhi asked her.

"I don't," Tsuruya answered. "I was just curious."

I'm not sure Miss Tsuruya fully realized what she was saying. I began to think about why she might be curious, and that led to all kinds of scenarios that are not really suitable for you readers to consider. Suffice it to say that I did not want Haruhi suddenly picturing what I was picturing, so I quickly changed the subject.

"Any idea what happened to Miss Asakura?" I asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "I guess she just went home."

"Do you know?" I asked Nagato.

"I have not seen her," she replied.

I then wondered, "But why would she just disappear like that?"

"There are bears around here," Haruhi reminded us.

"Isn't that a little...?" I started to ask if that was really so likely.

Haruhi interrupted, "Not everyone has your experience to fall back on, you know?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Tsuruya then interrupted my train of thought, explaining, "Bears do attack people around here. It's true. They can be pretty aggressive."

"You don't remember?" Haruhi asked me.

"Remember what?" I answered, drawing a complete blank.

"Sheesh," she complained. "I guess it's up to me to tell you guys."

"What is this about?" Koizumi asked her.

Haruhi answered, "When Kyon was back in middle school, he liked to ride his bike around a lot."

"Jeez..." I said, suddenly remembering. That much was true.

"One day," Haruhi continued, "just for the fun of it, I decided to follow. I was really into running back in those days."

"I kind of remember this," I spoke up. "Yeah, I remember Haruhi chasing me."

Haruhi added, "He seemed to think he could lose me if he rode long enough."

"I rode for about twenty kilometers," I remarked.

"No kidding?" Tsuruya asked.

"That was no big deal for back then," I answered.

"No big deal?" Haruhi countered. "You were wiped out. I had you beat and then some."

"According to you," I said, rolling my eyes. Haruhi likes to imagine herself being the victor of all our contests, though the reality is that she lost to me more often than not.

"Let me finish," she demanded. "Okay, this was the middle of a forest. I don't think he had any idea where we were. And this bear came straight up at us."

"A bear?" I said, finding this turn of events hard to believe.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten?" she complained.

"Maybe you imagined it," I answered. "You do have an active imagination."

"I don't think so," she said. "This bear started moving toward us, and you immediately raised your arms and began screaming, running toward it."

Her saying that put the image in my head, and it suddenly began to sound very familiar. I wasn't sure that she wasn't just planting a false memory in my head, but something deep down inside said that this was true.

She continued, "The bear stood up and looked like it was ready for a little challenge, and I was just standing there, too shocked to move. Next thing I know, you're right in the bear's face, screaming like a madman. I was honestly more afraid of you than the bear."

"Wow," Tsuruya softly added.

"I know, right?" Haruhi responded. "I thought he was a goner, for sure. But that bear eventually backed off and began moving away."

"Very commendable," Koizumi remarked. "Yes, that is the appropriate response to a menacing bear."

"I don't recall any of that," I confessed.

"I'm not making it up," she insisted.

Tsuruya then asked Koizumi, "So, what do you do if the bear does decide to fight back?"

He answered, "You try to protect your head."

"Right," Haruhi added. "Don't run away, or it'll just chase you by instinct."

Koizumi then explained, "Bears will usually attack your arms and legs first, then they go for the head. So, what you do is keep your arms up like a boxer and then curl up into a fetal position when they go for the kill."

"Bears are pretty smart, though," Haruhi added. "They can tell if you're bluffing, so it won't do you any good to just act tough."

"Really?" he asked her. "I didn't know that."

She then remarked, "I don't know about American bears, but these Japanese bears are not the kind that are easily fooled."

"You have that animal instinct?" Tsuruya asked.

Haruhi answered, "You can tell by the look in their eyes. They just know, somehow."

"That's pretty amazing," Koizumi remarked.

"Yes, it is," I agreed.

- x -

The morning done, we then returned home. It was an enjoyable trip, or at least as fun as Miss Tsuruya and her affection for bus rides goes. I can take them or leave them, myself. I guess it's all in what you expect, and I imagine Miss Tsuruya doesn't always get the opportunity. As for Haruhi and her melancholy, it only became progressively worse, and I honestly started to feel bad for her. I soon found myself walking home, and I wondered what made her want to accompany me. She informed me that she'd left her phone at my place, and I found that a little surprising, though this kind of thing was starting to happen with increasing frequency.

I went up to my room, and sure enough, I found her phone on my desk. It was sitting right where I should have rightfully noticed, though my room has become a kind of blur in my memory such that it wouldn't surprise me if it had been sitting there for a week or longer. I returned it to her, and she stored it back in her purse. She seemed unconcerned about the possibility of enemy agents being able to track her, and I noticed that she seemed disappointed that I hadn't molested it in some way.

"It was a fun trip," I then said, "for what it's worth."

"Yeah," she agreed.

I then suggested, "Maybe we should give each other a little space."

"Maybe," she said, sounding agreeable enough, though her face showed some disapproval.

I added, "Or maybe you want to come inside and play something. I still have my old game system hooked up."

"Now, you're talking," she answered.

- x -

It's funny, you know? I didn't know what to even think of myself before I'd met Haruhi. The reason that I excel at my studies is really because of her and how she looked after me for all those years. I might not even be alive if she hadn't met me at a certain train station five years ago. I might have become plagued by sentimentality when I was younger, but now that I was older, it seemed to me like Haruhi was the one plagued by emotion. I could only guess what those emotions might be, but she gave me some pretty clear hints.

This particular day, for example, I recalled that my mother wasn't expecting me back for a few more hours. My parents had decided to take in a movie, dragging my little sister along. It was some old fashioned samurai type thing, so it was probably for the best. I wouldn't have wanted to go see it, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have wanted to know about me fooling around with Haruhi. We had had some of these video game contests before, but they didn't end up becoming such an intimate thing until just recently.

And now I suppose you're wondering how it is that I can have this secret rendezvous with Haruhi and yet remain aloof on the matter of my own emotional interests. It's simple, really. I can't help but notice how Haruhi always seems to be deeply ashamed of me, though she must have some romantic feeling toward me. This isn't the only deeply paradoxical thing about her, so it doesn't really surprise me, but it is somehow one of the more vexing things she inflicts on me. I can't help but feel like she wants out. Especially when we have these silly awkward moments.

"You're mad at me, aren't you?" I asked.

This was more than the usual embarrassment. This time around, she seemed very annoyed.

"I admit it," I said. "I was thinking of Miss Asahina just now."

"Jeez," she complained.

"Can you really blame me?" I wondered. "I mean, come on. She is incredibly cute. And her personality..."

She then softly requested, "Could you shut up already about her? God!"

I just had to laugh heartily at that response. It made her so cute.

"And stop that," she demanded. "There's nothing cute about me having a crisis."

"I wasn't thinking that," I lied.

"You weren't?" she asked, very skeptical (as well, she ought to be).

I smoothly explained, "I was just thinking it's pretty amazing. I mean, you being jealous, finally. I just never know what to expect from you."

"You like that?" she asked, halfway admitting that she was jealous.

"It's interesting," I said, wondering where this jealousy was coming from.

She then complained, "I don't need this type of drama in my life."

"Are you serious?" I asked.

"I am," she answered. "And I have never been so jealous. I must be insane."

"It's perfectly normal," I told her. "You're being normal, for once."

"I don't want to be normal," she said. "Normal is boring. I want to be something special."

"Here we go again..."

"I mean it! I wish I wasn't so..."

"Yes?"

"All I can think about, lately... You know? These uncontrollable urges. It's insane."

Insane? The one sane moment in her life (as far as I knew), and she complains that it's insane. I shook my head in wonder.

I then protested, "What's insane is the constant silent treatment and your inability to say how you feel. What's insane is how maniacally you overreact when you're bored. What's insane is how you react to your own emotions. What's insane is that you think of jealousy as some kind of nuisance."

"You think so?" she asked, giving me a very cute look of bewilderment.

"Maybe," I relented. "For sure, you are a little crazy about your cell phone."

"What's so crazy about wanting a little privacy?" she asked.

I answered, "What's the point in even having a cell phone if you just leave it behind all the time?"

"Hey," she retorted. "Ever since we've known each other, you let me have less and less privacy. I don't even have a computer because I'm positive that you'll end up searching through it."

"I wouldn't do that," I softly denied.

"Yes, you would," she immediately countered. "We can't have a conversation without you finding out something about me that I never wanted to tell anyone."

This was true, but I had always thought of her confessions as good things. It never dawned on me that she might have regrets about revealing things to me.

She then added, "These friends of yours always seem to know things that I'm really not comfortable with them knowing."

"Like Nagato?" I guessed.

"Like Ryoko," she answered. "She somehow knows me well enough that she wants to have it out with me. How did that happen? Just how much did you tell her?"

"Not enough to make her hate you," I replied.

"I hate feeling like this," she softly exclaimed. "I don't want things to change."

"I thought you just said..." You know? 'Normal is boring,' etc.

"I want to believe in you, but I..." she sighed and looked down for a few moments. She then continued, "I don't know how much I can trust you."

"You don't trust me?" I asked.

"That's not it at all," she answered, looking disgusted. "I just..."

"What?" I wondered.

"Nothing," she said. "Never mind. I can't think straight."

She then started to leave.

"I'll see you later," she added.

- x -

It was very disturbing, to say the least. None of this was unexpected, but it still galled me to the center of my being. Even so, there was a feeling of rightness to it all. I wanted to scream, to beg, to demand it all to just end. Yet there was this very soft feeling like a voice in the back of my mind telling me that I just needed to wait. It was all soon going to come together.

I often feel like this, too. Since knowing Haruhi, it's like I'm trapped. I don't even get this sense that I'm surviving. Mere survival would be a privilege and a blessing compared to this state. No. This was more like having my foot caught in a bear trap, despairing that I would ever find a way out.

Nevertheless, I took a deep breath and embraced the pain. It felt good to do that, in a way. I then remembered where I could go to find some solace. I usually went to go visit the local library on Sundays, anyway. They weren't always open, but I went anyway. If nothing else, it felt good to be wandering around town.

Just outside, I encountered Tsuruya. Now, here is a girl I know how to handle. We began chatting about things, and the subject of Haruhi inevitably came up.

"She went insane with jealousy, then?" Tsuruya guessed at one point.

"How did you come to that conclusion?" I asked her.

"She admitted she was insane, right?" she again guessed.

I didn't want to admit it, but Haruhi had in fact done that. It brought back all those crazy feelings I didn't want to face, too.

Tsuruya explained, "I can't imagine Haruhi being anything but jealous. It's practically the core of her being."

"What's the core of your being?" I asked.

"Shoes," she answered.

"Shoes?" I said, wondering how that could be so important.

"Check these out!" she said, lifting a knee-high boot. "Aren't they cute?"

"Sheesh," I muttered. "Serves me right for asking."

She then laughed again and admitted, "I'm just messing with you."

"Oh, thank God," I said, very relieved to hear it.

She then gestured somewhat uncertainly as she admitted, "If I had to say that there was one thing I love more than anything, it would be reading."

"Ah, okay," I said, instantly picturing that.

"Haruhi hates to read, am I right?"

"Yeah."

"You and I both love to read. So..."

"I wouldn't say that I love to read. I just don't mind as much as Haruhi."

Yes, I had smoothly dodged the implication with my sudden clarification. And it was about as transparent as glass. I knew that she knew because she glared at me for a few moments. Just long enough to express some mild annoyance, mind you.

"You don't mind?" she asked, almost a bit scornful.

"I like reading," I explained, "but I wouldn't call it the core of my being."

"I have this wild imagination," she then confessed. "Only books can fill it. It's like a way to fuel my mind."

"Interesting," I admitted. "I wonder if that's what Nagato sees in books."

"Nagato?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered, plainly wondering on this point.

Tsuruya then complained, "That girl gives us book worms a bad name."

"You don't like her?" I asked.

She answered, "I don't think I'll ever know her that well."

I remarked, "I have this recurring fantasy where I can make her smile. I'm not sure where it comes from."

"You are such a scatter-brain," she then observed.

"What?" I said.

She answered, "We were talking about Haruhi, you big idiot."

"You sounded like you were hitting on me, a minute ago."

"Maybe I was."

"Right... You know, Asakura warned me about you."

"She did?"

"She told me to be careful with you."

Tsuruya stopped and had one of those uncharacteristic moments where she looked very serene and thoughtful. She then shrugged and smiled.

"That's probably good advice," she admitted. "I can put a pretty big dent in your wallet."

I said, "Not as big as Haruhi, I suspect."

"She likes to waste money?" Tsuruya asked.

I answered, "She likes to waste my money."

"I see," she said.

- x -

Tsuruya then left, and I sat at a bench. I don't always care for reading, as it turns out. Sometimes, I just like to sit and let my imagination go. It was pretty easy, too. Talking with Tsuruya had reminded me that not everything in the world is as serious as Haruhi would like it to be. Tsuruya is extremely nice, and even when I deliberately annoy her, she returns it like a compliment. I had an unsettling thought that I wouldn't want to test the bounds of her attitude, but it was comforting to think of her persistent friendliness.

I then checked my cell phone. No new calls or anything. I put it away again, wondering if mother had gone with father and sister to eat out. It wouldn't be the first time, though it was somewhat irritating to be left out. Doubtless, they were caught up in a little shopping. That made sense.

Just as I was thinking about leaving, I noticed Miss Nagato appear. She noticed me when I greeted her.

"Hey there," I said.

"Hello," she answered, stopping to look at me.

"You come here often?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered, "thanks to you."

"You like to take my suggestions," I guessed.

"I respect your input," she corrected.

"You trust me?" I asked.

"No," she stated.

"Ouch," I said, just a bit amused, nevertheless. I was starting to expect this attitude from her.

She then explained, "Your data is problematic, and I find my programming start to falter when I confront it."

She undoubtedly meant her own "data." This was a little awkward, thinking that this was yet another subtle confession. I began to get a little annoyed at myself, assuming that suggestive hints were the same as confessions. I couldn't help it, though. I liked to imagine it that way, so that's the way I remembered it.

She then added, "I have formulated several hypotheses concerning your psyche, but I doubt the results will become conclusive within the next three lifetimes."

"I must admit," I remarked, "I do so enjoy this crazy random nonsense you keep giving me. It's like I'm watching a sci-fi drama being acted out in real life."

"You have neglected to notice the influence that you wield," she then flatly stated.

"Excuse me?" I said.

"Interesting," she said, adjusting her glasses again. "I had thought that your suspicions would lead you into an understanding of the new abilities you have demonstrated."

"Abilities?" I asked, drawing a blank again (as I so often do in my conversations with her).

She answered, "Haruhi Suzumiya, as I have mentioned before, has the ability to subconsciously manipulate absolute data."

"Right," I said, distinctly remembering that.

She then explained, "An illusion was created that reinforced in her mind the idea that you possess this ability."

"An illusion?" I asked. "Who did that and why?"

"You did," she replied. "The reason is unknown to me at this time. I know this because I placed a suggestion in her mind for the purpose of studying this ability for myself."

"Hold on a second. Are you saying that you hypnotized Haruhi?"

"Not at all. I simply programmed the suggestion that her subconscious ability was wielded by another, and your data seized control. The exact mechanism is unknown at this time."

A suggestion that wasn't something post-hypnotic? Was Nagato telling me that she could directly tap in to the subconscious mind? This conversation was becoming more and more bizarre by the moment.

She continued, "The appearance of the erroneous creature from another dimension was the effect of your will."

I then guessed, "Are you saying that I can just make things happen by thinking about them?"

"Is that how it works?" she asked.

"Okay..." I answered, thinking for a few moments. "First of all, I have no idea what you're talking about. All I know is that Haruhi wanted to see a bigfoot, and suddenly..."

"Yes?" she prompted.

"Strange," I said, not quite grasping what had actually happened. "You know, now that I think about, I don't think it was thinking about it that made it happen. It just sort of happened, somehow."

"Are you certain?" she asked.

I answered, "If I were to believe any of this, I would think that it was really more of a collaboration. There wasn't any thought in my mind that a bigfoot should appear. That was really Haruhi's idea."

"You didn't really expect to see a creature of that nature?"

"No. And this all makes me wonder."

"About what?"

"About you. You know, if Haruhi can only make crazy things like a bigfoot appear by way of her subconscious mind, then how am I supposed to be involved in all that?"

This brought me around to the realization that Nagato was in possession of some impression that she could lay bare Haruhi's most intimate thoughts (or at least impulses). For Nagato to believe that my "data" had seized control of Haruhi's subconscious "ability" told me that either Nagato did have some powerful tools for observation or that she was dangerously unhinged. I began to wonder whether Asakura's disappearance had been Nagato's doing.

"That is a good question," she admitted, after apparently thinking about it for a few moments.

I then pointed out, "Maybe the suggestion of someone wielding her power is enough for her to believe that their will created that thing, but that doesn't mean that their will was what did it."

Nagato then stated, "Whether it's her belief or yours is irrelevant. What matters is the trigger of that reaction."

"Why does it matter?" I asked.

She answered, "Because that will point out a way that I can study her power for myself. Thus, I can complete my mission."

I laughed and realized, "Oh, right. Right. I keep forgetting that you're an alien."

She corrected, "I am a humanoid interface for the Data Integration Thought Entity. My purpose is to study this possible leap beyond the normal bounds of the evolution of your species."

Nagato had almost seemed annoyed, there. It made me wonder. "And you have no idea how I somehow got involved in this mess?"

"Correct," she replied.

"But you've told me that I was chosen," I said. "Maybe that's the reason."

"Perhaps," she said, "but I suspect that those two things are entirely different."

"Great," I answered, contenting myself with that small concession. "I'll let you know what I figure out."

"Thank you," she responded.


	60. Stagefright

- Chapter 5: Stagefright

The next day, I returned to class. After the relatively zany events of the weekend, it was a welcome change, and I was happily oblivious to the rumors swirling about my relationship with Haruhi, the news of Miss Asakura's disappearance, and the subsequent murmurings of every possible type you could imagine. I might have assumed everything was back to normal except that Haruhi was still in the desk beside mine, and still as melancholy as she was on the bus ride home. It was still very disorienting, and I told myself that she had become disappointed that we didn't end up eating bigfoot burgers (as she had become fond of aiming at the previous week).

The many bizarre revelations of aliens, espers, time travelers... I was also happily deferring how to approach that for a later time. The substance of the arguments was too compelling for me to flat out deny, yet it still seemed unsafe for me to remove the words "self-described" from their titles. I also realized that none of them had ever actually described themselves that way. Nagato had told me that she was a "humanoid interface," and you could view that as an alien, though she was only really alien in the sense that she had information that was impossible to acquire in conventional ways. Koizumi had admitted to me that his powers only really exist "between" dimensions (a horribly perverse concept in itself), and Miss Asahina had never admitted to being a time traveler (though I'd have to be pretty dense not to notice).

It would have been easier to dismiss such wild and unreasonable claims had they insisted that it was true, and the very uncertainty of it all was the only thing that made me even consider it. I've always felt that beauty and truth are impossible to discover in this world in the same particular place and time. If you do discover truth, it's nearly always in the ugliest way possible. This was what made me reluctant to accept their claims. If their claims were correct, then it was inescapable that their purposes were to uncover truths. Nagato never made any secret to me of her aims, Koizumi constantly left open whatever questions he felt uncomfortable with, and what else could a time traveler from the future want with the past?

Speaking of Miss Asahina, I had a lovely encounter with her when I began to go to the club room, that afternoon. The thought of spending the next hour or so with Haruhi was weighing on my mind, and seeing Miss Asahina considerably lifted my spirits. Whatever it is you guys are doing in the future to make a girl this cute, I sincerely hope you keep it up. This definitely reflects well on you. As for Miss Asahina herself, you could hardly dream of a more perfect girl to want for a friend. And even the thought of making a friend like her was hard to imagine. You certainly wouldn't expect it.

Nevertheless, she approached me as though she knew me, and we began softly chatting about school and the silly rumors that had been going around (the not-so-silly rumors I heard from Taniguchi some time later).

I immediately apologized at the first opportunity. "Sorry about the board game, the other day," I said. An apology just seemed like the first obligatory thing to say of any real significance.

"Oh, no!" she nicely rejected it. "That's quite okay. I didn't really mind."

I then remarked, "We never had a chance to speak, after that."

"I know," she said. "Things got so busy and carried away, what with the bigfoot and all."

I then continued toward the club room, and Miss Asahina promptly followed.

"You're going this direction?" I asked.

"This is the way to the Literature Club, right?" she asked me.

I was then torn between the idea that this girl might want to join the club and my duty to fend off any harm Haruhi might decide to inflict on her. I immediately perceived in this girl a very tempting target for a lot of Haruhi's insecurities, and it spurred my sense of chivalry to think of myself as a ward or guardian. I also then realized that Haruhi has a great appreciation for anything that a guy might consider a turn-on (what she shamelessly calls "moe"), and I could picture Haruhi exploiting this to our mutual advantage. In the end, I think my libido won out over my manly pride. It was just too good an opportunity to pass on.

She then said, "Please feel free to call me Mikuru, if you like."

"Right," I said, filing that away as a lovely gesture (one that I would never actually presume to utilize).

"I'm sorry," she added, "but I feel like I already know you."

"How is that?" I asked.

She replied, "Miss Suzumiya has already spoken to me. Actually, she's told me quite a lot about you two."

"Really?" I said, wondering just exactly how much she knew.

"I'm a little embarrassed," she admitted, "but I really enjoy learning new things about this era. I mean, it's so fun and exciting."

"You like the food?" I asked. "Of this era, I mean."

"Oh, jeez," she complained. "Did I really say that? I meant to say this side of the city."

"Oh, okay."

"It's so boring where I'm from. We never get to do anything like go hunting for bigfoot."

Considering bigfoot doesn't really exist in this dimension, that would be a safe bet to make.

"I imagine you wouldn't," I admitted.

"And this school!" she softly exclaimed. "It's all so quaint."

"You like this school?" I asked.

"Uh huh," she answered. "I think it's just amazing."

"Well, good for you," I sincerely answered.

"Thank you," she said.

"You want to go to club with me?" I asked, though she had been walking with me since she had asked about the club in the first place.

"Is it okay?" she asked.

"It's fine," I answered, a little disconcerted that she would ask my permission, "it's just..."

"What?" she asked, looking honestly perplexed.

I then offered, "You don't have to join us, if you don't want."

"No, really!" she objected. "I want to join you guys. It's a lot of fun."

"Have you met Miss Nagato?" I asked.

"Miss Nagato?" she answered. "She's here?"

"You've already spoken to her?" I wondered.

"I..." she started, then looked down. "We've met."

"Okay," I said. "Just asking because she's in our club, too."

"Oh..." Asahina said, looking strangely nervous and ill-at-ease. "Well, that's okay, too. I suppose."

It then offended me like a thorn in my foot to think that I was just leading her into our club, like using string-tied bait to lure a rabbit into a pit trap.

"You know," I warned, "you're probably going to get recruited into making the tea."

"I am?" she answered. "How wonderful!"

I sighed and then muttered, "Why do I have this sinking feeling, all of a sudden?"

- x -

When I entered the club room, it became apparent what the augur in the back of my mind was trying to tell me. Here was Haruhi, sitting at the computer, growing increasingly frustrated as Koizumi just nicely shrugged in his usual way and Nagato remained glued to her book in the background, even more icy and unresponsive than usual.

"There you are!" Haruhi complained. "About time you showed up."

"Hey," I said.

"Hello," Miss Asahina said. "I hope you guys don't mind, but I..."

"Kyon!" Haruhi snarled. "Get your ass over here!"

"What?" I answered.

"This computer!" she complained, giving it a look of generic disapproval.

"What about it?" I asked, going to the other end of the table, where Haruhi had set up the computer.

"It's pissing me off," she answered, frowning deeply and folding her arms.

"What?" I asked, looking. "Oh."

I had stupidly left my shortcut to a script sitting on the desktop, and Haruhi had even more stupidly confused it for an application launcher. The script was a snippet of Perl that I wrote which was a handy way of giving myself the results of my steg-hidden picture access codes. Or (for the less technically inclined) a relatively big oops on my part.

"I keep getting asked for a password," she complained, clicking on one of the more obscure control panels for the network.

"You've finally figured it out," I noticed.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Nothing," I said. I explained, "Yes, I hid the home page in an encrypted folder. So what?"

"So what?" she said, looking a little outraged. "I want to put these photos on the home page. That's what. And not this fake page you made. You think you're so clever."

"Right," I said. "Let me just type it in."

"Forget it," she answered. "I'm not letting you touch the computer again. This is what I get for trusting you to handle this."

"You've gotta be kidding me," I said, trying to picture Haruhi using the computer with any level of sophistication.

"Does it look I'm kidding?" she demanded. "I want that password."

"Okay, okay," I said. "It's X-7-R-2-5-8-3-2-B..."

"Hold on..." she said. "What was that?"

"X-7-R-2-5-8..."

"X-7-R what?"

She wasn't even using the password right. She thought I was giving her the proxy password. Even I didn't know that.

I then looked at her, dumbfounded, and asked, "Are you messing with me? You're messing with me, aren't you?"

"I just want to have access to my computer," she complained.

"That isn't your computer," I pointed out. "That's the computer lab's computer that you stole from them."

I was being pedantic, but it's true. And anyway, the proxy was definitely not her computer. It was just some networked computer the computer club had agreed to let me use to host the real site.

I then explained (in terms she could understand), "And the web site you're trying to access is software that I set up by myself, thank you. Why are you so gung-ho about doing everything yourself?"

Haruhi then finally noticed Miss Asahina and demanded, "What are you doing here?"

"Is this the way you greet a new club member?" I asked, very disapproving.

"I'll greet people any damn way I please," she responded, glowering at me. "And who are you to tell me otherwise? I'm the commander in chief and dictator for life of this organization. Whatever I say goes! You have no right to object to anything I say."

"I'll object to whatever I want," I smoothly answered that. "What are you going to do? Throw a tantrum? Cry? Make up another stupid title for yourself?"

She looked like she wanted to slap me, but she just stood up and glared at me for several seconds. Then she picked up some hot tea she had handy and threw its contents in my face.

"You bastard!" she softly exclaimed. "How dare you talk to me that way!"

"Jeez," I said, wiping my face. "Haruhi..."

She then grabbed the book out of Nagato's hands and threw that at my head.

"Ow!" I said. "Calm down!"

"I will not calm down!" she screeched. "I don't care how much you or Yuki talk about me behind my back! But I will not have this insubordination! I'm the leader of this club! Me!"

"Why are you so upset?" I asked, very baffled at this hysterical outrage she was showing me.

"You want to know what really pisses me off?" she asked. "You don't really care about me. You don't! You just say you do, and then you try to foist me off onto one of Ryoko's friends! That's what pisses me off! You can just go to hell!"

I don't care about her? That upsets her? This, from a girl who has told me countless times that she doesn't want or need any kind of caring (or any kind of mushy emotions at all) from the likes of me.

"Whoa!" I said. "What are you telling me?" Was she really confessing how she felt, after all this time?

"I..." she started to explain. "I don't..."

She then ran from the room in the cutest display of embarrassment I have ever seen. It was like getting punched in the gut with the ugliest fist in her intangible arsenal, but also (in the process) making the most pleasant and beautiful realization I had ever had about her.

"Oh, jeez," Asahina lightly complained. "Was that my fault?"

"No," I answered. "This is something... I need to go. Sorry about all this."

- x -

I had no idea where Haruhi ran off to, but some kind of ugly gremlin in the back of my mind assured me of where to go. Sure enough, I found her on the school roof. Yes, it's cliche. Don't look at me. This was Haruhi's idea. Not mine.

"Sheesh," I softly complained, approaching her.

"I know what you're going to say," she told me, "so just forget it."

"You always say that, you know?" I told her.

"Do I?" she asked, still carefully looking away.

"Do you really know what I'm going to say?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "You were going to apologize, right?"

"Not really," I muttered.

"Yeah, right," she remarked. "Like you would ever apologize. I should know better than that."

I shrugged and said, "I am sorry about the computer, but that's not what I wanted to say."

"What did you want to say?" she asked.

"Haven't we had this conversation?" I asked her. "I mean, seriously? Isn't this like the fifth or sixth time?"

"What?" she asked, looking at me.

This isn't the first time she's become furious with me and thrown a tantrum. This is the first time where the topic was how she felt or her outrage at my emotional indifference.

"You really think it would be bad if we dated other people?" I asked.

You have to admit, it was a compelling argument. If this is what we had to look forward to as a couple, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to stop seeing each other.

"I mean," I added, "I thought you wanted to go out with one of Asakura's friends. I thought you didn't want to put up with me."

"You're right," she admitted. "We have had this conversation before. I can't remember how many times."

I remarked, "I thought you'd fall for Koizumi, for sure."

"Koizumi?" she said, clicking her tongue at me. "Yeah, right. I'd sooner fall for Taniguchi."

"You're always saying how much I smother you," I reminded her.

"That's right," she said. "I do always say that. I did. And you're right. I did always want to date someone like one of Ryoko's friends, but..."

"But?"

I was then forcibly reminded of the moment I had met her. Back when I was ten, I encountered her (as I said) in a train station. She had eagerly greeted me like she knew me. It was a little bizarre, and she couldn't explain it, but she said I reminded her of someone. She said that I was the "chosen one," and that I should know her. Weird. This is the first time I could remember her saying that.

She then explained, "I don't want to be one of those kind of people, you know? Someone who's always getting a lot of attention. I hate that."

"So, you naturally decided to be the leader of a club," I observed, a wry smile crossing my face.

"Hilarious," she grimly agreed with my expression.

I added, "And you decided to do a lot of crazy things that made you the center of attention, going to any length to prove how worthy you are of that attention that you hate so much."

"It's funny, isn't it?" she asked, smirking and chuckling a little at the thought.

"I don't see what's so funny about it," I remarked.

"I never really wanted it," she said. "I needed it. I craved it. It was like the core of my being."

Yeah. I knew about this. Haruhi once went to a baseball game, and she came back with the shocking (to her) realization that she wasn't the most important person in the world. There were thousands of other people just like her, and millions (even billions) all over the world. In fact, it so deeply shocked her that she's spent nearly every waking moment since then living in denial about that unassailable fact.

"From the time I first met you," she added, "all I could ever think about was how unimportant I was. Why couldn't I be someone special? Why couldn't my whole world revolve around me?"

I then asked, "If you really wanted so much attention, then why not do something that really was important? Why hang out with a group of crazy people like Koizumi and Nagato? Why even come to this school at all?"

"I know," she said. "It's crazy, isn't it?"

"You know what I want?" I asked.

"What?" she asked, but she really should have known.

I just wanted to kiss her, and I did. For once, it didn't seem strange or like I was trapped in some compulsion. For once, this was just the two of us, making some light contact. It was beautiful thing, and it didn't seem outrageous or unnatural. Nevertheless, she shortly pushed me away.

"What?" I asked.

"Someone might be looking," she complained.

"Sheesh," I said, a little disgusted at this shy side of her.

"I don't want Mikuru to see this," she said. "That girl cannot keep a secret. I just know this would get all over school, if she ever saw it."

I laughed, remarking, "You really are a wallflower. We should hold hands in the halls and make everyone around us furious with envy."

"I'll let everyone see you get slapped if you try it," she warned.

"Ouch," I said, picturing that. "You know, you're a lot friendlier when we're all alone."

She muttered, "I'm like a completely different person when we're alone."

"You can say that again," I agreed.

"No more crazy romantic things at school," she insisted. "You got that?"

"Yes ma'am," I answered, tickled by her sudden scowl (I knew she hated that response).

"All right."

"So, it's okay if Miss Asahina wants to join the club?"

"Don't push it. On top of everything else, I'm still upset about losing our bigfoot. And Ryoko going missing hasn't helped, either."

"Right. Forgot all about her."

- x -

Later that day, I got a call from Koizumi. He told me that there was club business that I had left unfinished, so I told him where I was. I had been hiding from the world in one of the many coffee shops you find all over this city. Koizumi shortly appeared, looking pleasantly surprised, as usual.

"Hey there," he greeted me. "I've been looking all over for you."

"You wanted something?" I asked.

"You mind if I sit down?" he asked.

"Go right ahead," I answered.

"Thank you," he said, sitting across from me. "It's so hard to have a good conversation with people standing around."

"Isn't that all you ever do at the club room?" I asked.

He softly laughed and admitted, "I do find myself in an odd position, yes."

"Why do you even belong to that club?" I then asked.

"Now, now," he nicely chided me. "You know I have my duties."

"So you say," I remarked.

He seemed a little nonplussed that I refused to believe his unlikely story of a group of espers in some secret organization. The more I thought about it, the less sense it made.

"I could call myself an esper," I said. "How would you know I wasn't?"

He replied, "I don't know how I would know, but I would."

"You would?"

"Trust me. It comes with the job."

"That, and all the crazy things you arrange for us to do."

"Ah, yes."

He never denied being an instigator. He always seemed delighted to make known to me his plots, and he even seemed relieved to find a sympathetic ear. I wondered about that, though. He never made his own aims clear.

"Or is that more about your ulterior motives?" I asked.

"What a thing it is to be an idiot," he pleasantly remarked.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"I mean myself, of course," he hastily explained. "And here, I've been thinking that there was nothing going on between you and Miss Suzumiya."

"Any reason you should have known?" I asked. "You're just a guy we know from school. Or so I thought."

"Funny, how things worked out," he remarked. "I guess I shouldn't be upset, though you and Miss Asakura have really played me for a fool."

"She did?" I asked.

He answered, "I tried to speak with Miss Nagato, but it seems as though she blames me for the events of the previous couple days. Specifically, she seems to think I had something to do with Miss Asakura's disappearance."

"Why would she blame you?" I wondered.

"I don't know," he replied. "I've been puzzling over that incident, and I've reached the conclusion that Miss Asakura had conspired with you to ruin my plans."

"How did you reach that conclusion?"

"No one else knew about my plans but you, and you were the last one seen speaking with her. It stands to reason."

"Didn't Miss Tsuruya...?"

"Miss Tsuruya was never really a part of the plan. That was just a ploy to throw you off the real trail."

"I see."

Yes. This explained a lot. This didn't, however, explain Miss Nagato's cold attitude toward Koizumi. I wondered about that, but then I couldn't help but notice how Nagato stared at him quite a lot, and nearly always looked away whenever she noticed that I saw her staring at him. Quite an interesting girl, that Nagato.

"In fact," Koizumi added, "I had hoped that you might join Miss Suzumiya in her suspicions about Miss Tsuruya's true motives. I was hoping that that shared activity would bring you closer. That was the real plan."

"Sorry," I said.

"Why are you apologizing?" he asked. "You didn't know that Miss Asakura was going to disappear, did you?"

"No," I answered, "but I did know that she was up to something." And I was apologizing because I found his circumstances amusing.

"I see," he said. "I suppose she confronted you about Miss Suzumiya."

"Yeah," I said.

He then realized, "And you've convinced yourself that Miss Suzumiya is just an ordinary human being. Now it all makes sense."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He answered, "Haven't you ever noticed how Miss Suzumiya always wished she could find aliens, time travelers, and espers? And now that she has, she isn't sure how to feel about it. She isn't sure whether this reality is better than the old reality. You've never even thought about all this?"

"I think only crazy people have thoughts like that," I replied, once again feeling pity for him.

"Have you spoken with Miss Asahina?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

"So," he said, "you know what I was talking about, the other day. I mean, about her not being able to keep the fact that she's from the future a secret."

It was sadly as plain as the nose on her face that she thought she was from the future. Just as Koizumi thought he was an esper. Just as Nagato thought she was an alien. Whether I believed any of that... I just shoved it aside in my mind.

He then asked, "Miss Nagato is just one of many aliens that go to that school, you know?"

"How do you know?" I asked.

"It's my job to know," he answered. "One of the duties of the organization is keeping tabs on them."

"Why?" I then asked.

"I don't know why," he replied. "I don't feel like they can be trusted, though."

"They do say a lot of crazy things," I admitted. "That's true."

"So," he asked, "why are you still skeptical about all this? Or do you believe me?"

"It's not that I don't believe you," I dodged the question. "I just can't picture Haruhi as anything but a completely ordinary person."

"She is, actually," he informed me. Nice. Very helpful. "And, in a way, she isn't."

"Thanks a lot," I said, just a bit sarcastic.

- x -

I was a couple blocks from home when I noticed Miss Nagato approaching. She seemed her usual self, though I couldn't help but realize that she was nowhere near her own apartment.

I greeted her, "You here to torment me again? Or do you just like trying to freak me out with your crazy ideas?"

"I enjoy our conversations," she answered.

"You do, huh?" I asked.

She then explained, "I'm curious how you will react to your newly discovered abilities."

I mildly complained, "You keep saying that like I should expect it to be true."

"Perhaps I am jealous," she admitted.

I laughed and remarked, "That's a good one."

"Would that data be surprising?" she asked.

I then suggested, "Maybe you should just focus on your studies. Whatever those are."

"Maybe," she said.

I began walking toward home again, and she followed. I then stated, "It's not a bad thing to learn about people. Even the crazy way you choose to study me isn't something I dislike."

"You are not the target of my studies," she flatly answered that.

"I know," I said. "It's really Haruhi."

"That's correct," she said.

It was still early in the evening. I briefly had the thought that whatever she was hoping to observe might take quite a while longer for me to realize. I don't often knuckle down and concentrate on my own projects or homework until well after dark.

I then asked, "Do you really not know what happened to Asakura? Tell me the truth."

"Is it important for you to know?" she asked.

"I don't really care if she is an alien," I answered. "You don't just disappear like that. That isn't right. There has to be a reason."

"And what if there isn't one?" she then asked.

I wondered, "Are you trying to tell me that Haruhi made her disappear?"

"That could be a reason," she admitted.

"Is it?" I asked, getting a little tired of all this vagueness.

"Very well," she said. "I will tell you."

"Please," I prompted.

She explained, "Ryoko Asakura is convinced that you are the source of Haruhi Suzumiya's power, and that you use her as a kind of proxy."

"I..." I said, my mind blowing a fuse, I think. "How does that explain...?"

Nagato added, "She is manipulating you to see whether you can confirm her suspicions."

I quickly added this all up and then complained, "But I really can't just make her reappear. And how on Earth did she disappear in the first place?"

"I told you," she answered. "I am a humanoid interface. These things are not as difficult as you seem to think. Ryoko Asakura is my subordinate. That is the truth."

"This is all like some sci-fi story," I complained. "My life isn't like a book you can just pick up and read, you know?"

"I know," she said.

"So..." I prompted, not really sure what it was I expecting her to say.

We were standing just in front of my house, just as this situation was becoming most peculiar. This whole situation was just baffling. Yet, somehow, it got even more peculiar when I noticed Ryoko Asakura appear, walking around the corner and approaching us.

"Okay," I said, merely taking notice. "There she is."

"Interesting," Nagato said. "How did that happen?"

"I just thought..." I answered, thinking that I had just observed her appearing. I then had the appalling certainty that that was just some story I was telling myself. I then thought for a moment and admitted, "Or more like I told myself..."

"So," Asakura greeted us, "it's just as I suspected. You can show your true colors."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Silly boy," she very nicely chided me. "You've always been afraid to take the plunge, you know? This isn't the first world."

"It isn't?" I asked.

"We were once lovers, actually," she confided. "Now that was a fun world."

I sighed, despairing a little. "More craziness? I thought we were about done with that."

"You still don't get it?" she complained. "This is your world. Everything that happens in this one is because you want it this way."

"Seriously?" I answered. "I don't think I'm this much of a masochist."

She then said, "I didn't say that this was the way you liked it to be. This is simply the most honest and straight-forward world possible. A world where you have a power that we want, and you can become aware of it."

Yeah, right. Maybe the most mixed-up, upside-down, backward world possible. The fact that she seemed so certain of herself was just boggling to my mind. How could anyone be so blind to the obvious truth?

"So," she then asked, "now that I've spelled it out for you, what do you think?"

"Of what?" I asked.

She continued, "Are you going to show us how it works, or are we going to have to keep doing this the hard way?"

"Hold on a second," I answered. "First of all, I don't really believe in this power you keep talking about."

"Why not?" she asked. "I unlinked myself from this existence and you brought me back. Is that not what happened?"

"It is," Nagato mysteriously confirmed.

"So," she surmised, "whether you can acknowledge it or not, you have it."

"Okay," I answered that, "even if I assume that that is true, that doesn't mean that I originated it."

"It doesn't?" she said, looking very perplexed.

I sighed and informed her, "Even Miss Nagato told me just yesterday that she gave Haruhi a suggestion that her powers were wielded by someone else."

"You did that?" Asakura asked her, looking a little alarmed.

"Yes," she answered.

"So," I added, "I might be able to wield it, but that doesn't mean I know anything about how it works."

"You told me that..." Asakura started to complain to Nagato.

"I lied," Nagato flatly answered.

For several moments, Asakura only gaped at Nagato, as if she were an ordinary girl who had just been told that aliens existed.

"So," I asked Nagato, "you encouraged her to think this way?"

She explained, "I was curious to see whether you could relink her to this data."

Ah. Bravo. I have to admit, I didn't think Nagato was capable of being this manipulative, but she really set me straight on that matter.

"No," Asakura said. "I don't believe it."

"You don't believe what?" I asked.

"I refuse to accept it," she repeated, looking as annoyed as I've ever seen her.

"Because it was my theory?" Nagato guessed.

"It's too coincidental," she answered. "Am I really supposed to believe that things just turned out this way? Eleven whole lifetimes of everything working out in some weirdly favorable way, and that doesn't seem suspicious? Do you take me for a fool?"

"You are malfunctioning," Nagato told her. "Your data is now becoming highly erratic."

"That's crap," Asakura bluntly answered that. "I think I see everything more clearly than ever. In fact, I'm going to prove it."

"How do you intend to do that?" Nagato asked.

"Simple," she said, taking out a nasty looking hunting knife. She then turned to me and said, "Now, you die."

She took a swipe at me, and I backed away just in time to avoid her attack.

"Whoa!" I said. "What the...?"

"Oh, come on!" she protested. "Surely, you don't think you have anything left to live for?"

"Why are you trying to kill me?" I asked.

"Why not?" she answered, taking another swipe at me.

Okay. This was just completely crazy, any way you look at it. Asakura thought that I have this super ultimate power, and so she was setting out to prove it by killing me? Did she expect me to die and then come back to life or something? Because I'm pretty sure that wouldn't work. And here was Nagato, just blandly watching. Was there no one in the house? Why weren't there any cars going by?

And, right as I thought that, a car did go by. A cat then mysteriously came leaping out the car window, landing on Miss Asakura's face, claws extended. Asakura fell over backwards in surprise, while this strange cat continued attacking her.

"Interesting," Nagato commented, which snapped me out of my shock.

"Miss Nagato?" I said.

"Yes?" she answered.

"Should you not be doing something about this?" I wondered.

"Oh," she said, taking a fresh double-take of her own. I guess even she has those moments that are shocking to her, too. She then held out her hand with her palm facing outward and muttered something incoherent. As I watched, Asakura then mysteriously dissolved into thin air, leaving nothing but the cat.

Nagato then turned to me and said, "I apologize. I was surprised to witness that, but it does explain quite a few things."

"It does?" I said, never more confused in my life than at that moment.

- Fin

- x -

- Extra

- A Blinking Light

Kyon is at Yuki's, and Ryoko blinks in and out of existence every few seconds.

Kyon: So, you know about the club room?

Yuki: Yes.

Kyon: And all those times in my bedroom and Haruhi's?

Yuki: ...

Kyon: You're a voyeur, huh?

Yuki: I do not observe. I note references.

Kyon: You're shy, then?

Yuki: I am not permitted to detail insignificant events.

Kyon: Ouch.

Yuki: I already manipulate four-point-seven exabytes of significant data in a standard Earth day. Details of trivial incidents would increase the data load by a factor of at least a thousand.

Kyon: That explains the style of this apartment.

Ryoko: Excuse me, but you could you...?

Yuki: Is there a purpose in this alternation?

Kyon: You did tell me to figure this out. So, I'm figuring it out.

Yuki: And what have you observed?

Kyon: It's difficult to say for sure. Like trying to catch salmon with your bare hands.

Yuki: Interesting.

Kyon: It's really fun, too. I mean, just imagine what I could do if I could control this. I could have an entire army of humanoid interfaces to do my every whim...

A short celestial appears, holding Shamisen.

Celestial: Okay. That's enough. Just cut that out.

Kyon: Okay.

The celestial disappears again, leaving Ryoko and Yuki with Kyon.

Ryoko: Are you done?

Kyon: Sorry about that.

- x -

- Subliminal

Author: So? What do you think? Not enough? Too much?

Proofreader: ...

Author: What?

Proofreader: I'm still trying to figure out what you're writing about.

Author: Isn't it obvious? This is the psycho killer version of Kyon. Just like we talked about.

Proofreader: It is?

Author: To be honest, it's more like my lame attempt at an homage to Robert Altman, with lots of callbacks to original Haruhi material. But, yeah. It is.

Proofreader: Oh, I get it. This is like Altman's favorite genre: a flurry of half-parody half-absurd incidents in an adventure type "story."

Author: I have to admit, I like his version of Popeye, but I've never been a big fan of musicals. I have mixed feelings on this subject. I like the way he tries to make everything happen all at once, though.

Proofreader: I think the word you're looking for is improvisation.

Author: The feeling of improvisation, yes. If your dialogue starts to sound scripted and contrived, then you're doing it wrong.

Proofreader: The cool thing about Altman is that his best work always keeps you wondering whether he isn't borderline insane. It has that nice, quirky, rambling, barely coherent style that's easily disguised in a simple, straight-forward narrative.

Author: I still find myself humming "Everything Is Food, Food, Food" every now and then.

Proofreader: A great subliminal artist. Alas, he passed away about six years ago.

Author: Yes. Very sad.

Proofreader: What were we talking about, again?

Author: (laughing) Exactly. This is what I'm talking about.

- x -


	61. Fearless

Origins of Haruhi - Prolonged Pleasantness

- x -

- Foreword

Well, this is it. The last volume. Thanks for reading. And, if you're ten or younger, kudos for getting this far. You've read a lot farther than I would have at your age. And shame on your parents for letting you read this, but you probably didn't need me to tell you that. I think I'll be different this time around and not spoil it with my "clever" observations. Maybe being all foreshadowy and self-referential was just a silly fad, anyway.

Please look for "Improvised High School" in some form of an attempt at literature. I can't promise that it'll amuse or surprise you, but I definitely do intend to finish that, one of these days. It turns out that editing is a lot harder than I had thought. Who knew?

Anyway, I'd like to thank Yuki Nagato for the source material. Without her tireless efforts to make this available to me, there would have been no "origins" story. I'd also like to thank Haruhi Suzumiya for being a very interesting human being. I'm sure if she's gotten around to reading this, it'll be a good idea for me to have this acknowledgement. Many thanks are due to Itsuki Koizumi for letting me produce this volume almost completely uncensored. It turns out that he's had more fun with this story than I did. I'm not sure how to take that. Thanks also to Mikuru Asahina. Hopefully, this acknowledgement didn't create a temporal paradox too weird. Thanks also to Taniguchi and Kunikida. Ryoko Asakura deserves my best wishes, and I do mean that sincerely. Many thanks also to Tsuruya and all the rest. I can't thank everyone enough. It's been a heck of a ride.

- x -

- Chapter 1: Fearless

Once upon a time, there were five brave souls who took on the unlikely task of making the world a safer place for aliens, time travelers, and espers. Their efforts sprang from an equally unlikely greatness, not to mention the almost entirely coincidental fact that they were mostly alien in one way or another. Their aspirations were lofty, their goals distant, and their progress held true. Such were their accomplishments that even a mere rumor of them was met with delighted surprise, mystified amusement, and trembling anticipation. This, of course, is not their story.

Forgive me, but I find myself slowing with age, and though I am still allegedly a young man, I find that my attention isn't what it used to be. The world itself looms, and my time appears to be shrinking even faster than my bank account. There are also a number of disturbing rumors concerning the viability of the publishing industry that I cannot discount, so one could understand how the above story might have to be put for the moment on hold. It's not that I consider my real life to be more precious than that fantasy I created, but I simply couldn't help being selfish. I also find myself a little dumbfounded at how perfectly everything in this particular situation had worked itself out.

I've always felt like there was a certain give and take to everything, and though my younger self would probably call me an idiot for even thinking such a thing, I now find myself faced with the appalling certainty that all good things do eventually appear before you in their own good time. They usually smirk at you in some uncertain way and then tell you that they knew someone else you know back in high school, but I digress. My point here is that there is a very particular time for everything, and I'm not just paraphrasing Solomon. I honestly encountered one of these situations, and I engaged in this venture as a kind of contest. I think this short entry counts.

This story here is really just my attempt to make good on my boast and outdo an unusual woman by the name of Haruhi Suzumiya. You've probably never heard of her, though you probably have at least met someone who has encountered her or one of her many outrageous exploits. I pity the poor soul who hasn't at least heard of one of the incidents she was involved with on the news. Her story is quite an interesting one, and I fear my attempt to steal her thunder may well prove to be quite feeble.

I live in an ordinary suburb, which itself is on the edge of an ordinary city in the extraordinarily ordinary country of Japan. I sometimes like to take in the view of this suburb from the side of a hill that suits the purpose. It really is quite a view, and I highly recommend it. This story starts on the side of that hill, one particular Friday evening. I had been avoiding my fatherly duties to simply sit and stare in my usual way at anything that could hold my attention. This had been a habit of mine since youth, and there appeared to be no sign of this ever changing. A particular teenage girl approached me to no doubt remind me of certain duties I was neglecting.

"Hey, Kyon!" came her voice through my musing.

"Hey, Saka-chan," I responded. "What brings you up here?"

"Mom said to come home," she answered.

"We're doing the meal thing early today?" I asked.

"We need to go shopping," she answered.

I then took a serious look at her, wondering if she would ever call me "Father" or "Dad" or anything other than "Kyon." I sighed and resigned myself to this title. A good thing, too. She has yet to refer to me in any other way. Kids are funny like this, sometimes. I've heard similar stories from other parents about their little ones, though this little one is already fifteen. While I'm on the subject, I think my more particular name is a little overrated, and maybe I've become too reliant on it. I'm starting to wonder whether "Kyon" could have sold as many dead trees with words on them as I have.

"Oh," she continued, "and you got a letter in the mail."

"I did?" I asked.

She handed me a large envelope, "Here."

"Let's see," I said, tearing open the top of it.

From the envelope I withdrew a book. It was a fairly thick paperback with a good, old fashioned style design (though not quite as heavy a stock as something truly old fashioned). Saka-chan sat next to me as I took a better look at this book.

"A mint-condition 'Empires of the Early Middle Ages,'" I observed.

"Signed and dated?" she asked.

"I doubt it," I said, not bothering to check. I've had signed and dated paperbacks sent to me, but those were always from authors I knew personally. This was just an ordinary history book whose author I had never heard of. I handed her the book and went fishing in the envelope again. This time, I retrieved a small letter.

"I don't really like history," she complained.

"Maybe you should try it," I gently suggested. "I always liked that subject, when I was in middle school."

Saka-chan then had a look on her face like I had presented her with a plate of natto and sushi when she had been expecting rice and curry.

"Let's see," I said, opening the letter. "Huh..."

"What?" she asked.

"This is strange," I answered. I then read the first sentence, "'Find the buried treasure that lies in Chubb's tomb: its face a book of modest origins, its location from these clues.'"

"I'll trade you," she immediately proposed, offering me back the book.

"Yes," I said. "It seems we both have something the other wants."

We then traded the letter and the book.

"Interesting," she immediately stated.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"Well," she answered, "'Chubb' obviously refers to the guys who invented safes. So, I'm thinking we'll also need some kind of key or a combination."

"What does the second part mean?" I asked.

She replied, "It's a reference to a diversion safe. It literally looks like a book, but you open the front cover and it turns out to be a safe."

"Oh."

"These clues are really weird."

"Don't solve it too quickly, okay?"

"Okay."

Saka-chan then stood up, no doubt eager to go looking around on the internet for hints on solving this particular puzzle. She does great with puzzles, but she does have the unfortunate habit of relying a bit too much on hints. I had the strong feeling that she was going to have to use her own wits, this time around.

"We should get home," she said, immediately starting down the hill.

"I'll be right behind you," I told her. "I want to drink in the view a bit more."

The view was grand, and it was at that perfect time of the year when trees look like honest-to-goodness trees, and the temperature is just cool enough to remind you of what winter is like without being obnoxious about it. This kind of breeze stirs a feeling of melancholy, and I usually get the impression that the "May effect" has at least as much to do with the time of year as it does with the fact that it arrives on the heels of great changes.

"Nice view," came a soft and distinctly feminine voice.

"Yes," I answered, only just a little startled.

"You live around here?" she asked.

I looked up and noticed a very friendly and aware expression on the face of this strange woman.

"Excuse me," she smoothly added. "I feel like I already know you, but we haven't met."

"You seem familiar," I said, almost recognizing her.

"I'm Haruhi Suzumiya," she answered. "You must be Kyon."

"That's not my name," I said, wondering how she had come upon that name for me.

"I know," she assured me.

Right. I'm not so full of myself that I inflict my real name on every stranger that I meet. I happen to be a calm and sensible person, and I think I can endure a lifetime of merely being myself with equal grace and dignity to (for example) being a great writer.

"You here to talk to me," I asked, "or do you just like parks?"

"I'm thinking about moving here," she answered. "This neighborhood has some nice apartments."

"I see," I said. "Yes, it is nice."

She then explained, "I'm waiting until I sense that magical feeling of rightness. You know what I mean?"

"Rightness?" I wondered, a little mystified by the war between the softness of her words and the childish tone of her voice.

She gently laughed and added, "I don't think I can explain it."

I then lifted my left hand, stating, "This is the only magic I need."

"Your ring?" she guessed.

"Yeah," I answered.

"So, you're married to Yuki?" she asked.

"How do you know her, if I may ask?"

"She does some consulting for me, from time to time."

"You own a business?"

"A corporation. Well, it's more like an LLC."

I then brushed myself off, as I stood. I was beginning to get that sense that Yuki was looking for me, and it never failed to stir a feeling of urgency in me. I'm not sure how else to explain it, except that it almost feels like a psychic ability.

Suzumiya then stated, "We also knew each other back in high school."

"I see," I said. I then pointed as I added, "Well, that house there on the corner is where I live."

"Okay," she answered. "Oh, very nice."

"Thanks," I said.

"And that girl I saw before...?" she asked.

"That's Hisaka," I answered, "my daughter."

"Your daughter?"

"You find that surprising?"

"It's just..."

"She's adopted."

As a matter of fact, Saka-chan has black skin. This sometimes throws people off a bit. There's a story there, but it would probably be better if she told it.

"Oh," Suzumiya said, a little awkwardly laughing. "I see."

"Well," I answered, "it was nice meeting you."

"Nice to meet you," she said.

"I hope you find what you're looking for," I added.

"Thanks," she answered.

- x -

Later that evening, Yuki and I strolled to a nearby store, going past a small block of apartment complexes. It was a nice evening for a stroll, and I found this to be a good opportunity to reflect on a few things.

Anyone merely glancing at us would probably assume that Yuki was in middle school. Possibly high school. Her glasses and her persistent habit of keeping her hair short only added to the illusion, though anyone who took a closer look would immediately change their opinion of us. I've been told that I have a boyish sneer and that my sometimes awkward way of speaking makes people feel as though they are addressing a child. My choice of words and the careful way that I compose my manners and gestures gives people the odd feeling that I'm actually an old man. Yuki, on the other hand, gives people the odd impression that she isn't entirely serious. She has this very innocent and even precocious aura that belies her sometimes abrasive manner. One good look at us will instantly convince people that Yuki has the final say in whatever happens between us, even if she does usually defer to me.

I'm close to a foot taller than her, but I have this odd sensation of looking up to her. The funny thing is that I sense other people feel the same way. Thinking of her face put me in the mind of that strange woman. That, and Yuki soon asked me:

"Who was that person you were speaking with?"

"Haruhi Suzumiya," I answered. "She's thinking about moving here."

"I see," she said.

Miss Suzumiya simply radiates this profound charm in her face and her manners. From the little that I saw, I immediately perceived this very smooth and gentle grace, though I had the uneasy impression that this gracefulness was the result of learning the hard way what abrupt and careless manners could cause. The war between her voice and words seemed to lend this idea some credence, though this impression was really more the result of my imagination. She just struck me as someone a talent scout for a romantic comedy would kill to represent. Maybe I've been watching too many of those type of movies. What can I say? I'm a sucker for the genre.

"Someone you knew in high school?" I asked.

"Yes," Yuki answered. "You've heard of her."

"I'm trying to recall..." I said, thinking again that Suzumiya had been familiar, but not quite sure from where.

"She was on the news a few times," Yuki added.

"Oh," I said. "Now, I remember."

"The Christmas incident," Yuki supplied.

"She called me 'Kyon,'" I then complained.

"Well..." Yuki said, looking down for a moment. "That is your name."

I sighed in realization that this had been something Yuki had related to Miss Suzumiya. And Yuki almost never called me that. Something about it just seemed really private, and her giving up this name for me seemed a bit like a betrayal. Not to mention, a little out of character for her.

Yuki then admitted, "I may have been a little intoxicated when I last conversed with her."

"She got you drunk?" I asked, somewhat rhetorically.

"What was that package?" she asked.

"The envelope?" I answered, a little grateful for the change in subject. "That was just a book and a mysterious letter."

"Who was it from?" she asked.

I still had that large envelope stuffed in a pocket (having forgotten about it), so I retrieved it and unfolded it. "From... 'Shigeru Kida.' Is that name familiar?"

"Could I see that?" she asked.

I gave her the envelope, though I wasn't sure it said anything else of importance. She did, however, give the envelope a very thorough examination. Something about this was very important, to judge by her expression, though for the life of me, it never would have occurred to me to think that there could be something important about that envelope.

"Is that someone you know?" I guessed.

She answered, "I've heard the name, but we're not acquainted."

I then suggested, "Maybe we should just go find him and ask him about this."

"I do not think that is possible," she said, handing me back the envelope.

"What do you mean?" I asked, folding it back up.

"He's been dead for five years," she answered.

"Oh," I said, starting to sense where this gravity was coming from.

"And this was obviously sent by an agent of his," she added.

"A message from beyond the grave," I said, stuffing the envelope back into my pocket.

"That was the letter Saka-chan was holding?"

"Yeah. You know how she loves puzzles."

- x -

The rest of the evening was pretty normal, as far as evenings go. The next morning, I got my usual early start in at the reading cafe. This was just a little shop that Yuki had set up a few blocks from the house. It turned out to be a good way to pay the bills, and an excellent way to spend my free time. I must admit that a lot of what I wrote in volume four of my Kozeki space comedy came to me merely from sitting in this shop.

It's strange how cleaning and stocking and doing inventory can make your mind wander into the most bizarre corners of your own psyche. Watching people reading can also help you refine the descriptions of facial expressions. For example, you probably wouldn't realize that there are a great many variations on the kind of blank stare you often see bad actors in movies not using correctly. Customers often exhibit a type of worried stare that you can see from the utter stillness in their eyes. Sometimes, you see people with a kind of floating or bouncy look in their eyes that seems to denote a mood of expectation. Sometimes you just see a kind of lazy, half-awake stare that seems to be more like someone looking into themselves than out into the world (people often accuse me of having this look).

Every now and then, we get someone I recognize as a regular customer. One guy, by the name of Itsuki Koizumi, was what I would call a semi-regular. He would show up every day for a few weeks and then disappear for a month or two. These intervals were pretty random, but they were inevitable. This was his pattern for the past five years, and I had wondered for a couple years what this was about. I was starting to understand, recently, that he had something he wanted to get off his chest, and I was curious how he would accomplish it.

"Hey," I greeted him, as he sat reading in the shop that morning.

"Hello," he answered.

I had been in the back when he had come in. He had no doubt been greeted already by the cashier (a college student who was currently pretending to be studying behind the counter). Koizumi is a bit of a dandy, and quite stylish, and he somehow pulls it off with a kind of natural talent for it. He kind of pisses me off a little, but I can't help but like him for his artful expressions and his walking-a-tightrope-of-kindness style of speech that would come off as insultingly snobbish from anyone else. Old women no doubt like to stop him on the street and tell him what a "nice young man" he was, and he was the kind of person who would stop and thank them in a very sincere tone of voice (though a perceptive person would see a hint of insincerity in his eyes). It's an amusing image, anyway. I've never actually seen him greeting an old woman. He has enough young ones to keep him busy.

"Been a while," I remarked.

"I've been busy," he explained.

"You going to buy that?" I asked, referring to the book he was reading.

"Probably," he answered. "I like how it starts, but I think I'll wait until I've finished to decide for certain."

I then prodded him, "You're going to buy it anyway, you know?"

He seemed a bit uncertain how to respond to that. I noted with some pleasure how it took him a moment to realize that I wasn't making some figurative expression in saying this.

I then added, "Don't you always tell me how you like to read my personal selections?"

"Is this?" he started to ask.

I nodded, and that produced a smile from him.

"Well, in that case..." he started to say.

"I'm just kidding," I said. "You go ahead and take your time."

To his credit, he only lifted his eyebrows briefly and then placed the book on the table in his usual elegant way.

"You have a minute?" he then asked.

"Sure," I answered. He then gestured to the chair across from him, and I sat there, asking, "What's up?"

"Is the shop doing okay?" he asked.

"As far as I know," I replied.

"Maybe it's just me, but..." he started to observe.

"Yeah," I agreed with his unspoken complaint, "it always slows down just before Golden Week. I figure the students are getting beset with vacation assignments and skipping breakfast to sleep in a bit."

"I see," he said. "You get a lot of students for customers?"

"Mostly," I answered.

He then guessed, "Or maybe they don't feel like reading after all the studying."

"Maybe," I said, glancing around at the cashier.

Koizumi then asked, "Speaking of Golden Week, you have any plans?"

"Nothing solid," I answered.

"You might want to keep it open," he said. "I think a certain boat may go sailing."

"You lucky dog," I complained.

He added, "If this deal works out, I'll want to invite a few friends."

"Okay, well," I said. "I definitely don't have any plans, then."

"I just have a little favor to ask."

"Should have seen this coming."

"It's okay if you don't want to. I understand completely."

"What's the favor?"

He then took a moment to compose his request in his head. As usual, Koizumi sometimes makes these odd finger gestures. Sometimes he points at his forehead, and sometimes he points at his nose. I can't recall anyone else who does that. It's a very odd gesture.

He then said, "I want you to accompany a certain woman this afternoon."

"A certain woman?" I said.

"Haruhi Suzumiya," he answered. "I assume you've heard of her."

"On the news," I said, "yes."

He then explained, "She has a certain penchant for getting herself into trouble, as you might have noticed. I didn't want to burden anyone with this, but I find myself unavailable."

"I see," I said.

He then added, "It's just for a few hours, while she makes a few stops here and there."

"She does some charity work?" I guessed.

"She distributes pamphlets," he answered. "It's for a certain organization she represents."

"Okay," I said.

He then complained, "I was going to help, since it's in the area, but..."

"I'll let you know," I assured him.

"Hmm?" he looked at me questioningly.

I answered, "I don't know if you've noticed, but I never go wandering around with strange women unless Yuki approves, first."

"Oh, I see," he said.

"Yeah."

"I'd appreciate it. And either way, thanks a lot."

I then got up and handed the broom to the cashier. This was a bit of a hint, and it did seem like I would soon be leaving the shop. I then became curious about this strange woman. No one ever went into too much detail about her.

"Is she your girlfriend?" I asked Koizumi.

"I..." he started to answer. "No. Why do you ask?"

I replied, "I've just never seen you with anyone. It's strange."

He smoothly explained, "My girlfriend is usually at the condo."

"Okay," I said. "I was just curious. I mean, you normally help Miss Suzumiya hand out pamphlets?"

"I enjoy it," he answered. "It's nice to meet new people every now and then."

- x -

I then returned home, taking a moment to play with my dog. People don't always appreciate their pets, but I can't imagine not taking good care of this animal. They're so small and convenient, and yet they bring so much joy into your life. Once I was done feeding him, I retreated to the safety of the backyard walkway. I spent a few moments resisting the urge to steal the wind chimes that Yuki had set up, and then noticed Yuki, herself. She was quietly reading a magazine, and it seemed a little too thick to be one of the usual ones she likes.

"New catalog?" I asked.

"The bold new designs for men," she answered, slowly flipping through it.

"Dreaming up a new outfit for me?" I asked.

"Perhaps," she answered.

"You know I would gladly model for you," I said. This had been one of those on-going conversations we had, and she seemed to be trying to act coy and pretend she didn't care. We both knew that she wanted to do nothing but dress me up and make me model for her. It's heartwarming to know that she can resist the urge, though.

"Hmm..." she said, taking a moment to look up.

"What?" I asked.

"That reminds me of a dream," she replied.

"Do tell," I prompted.

She immediately answered, "I go to a college and enter an art class. As all the muscular and handsome young men watch, I remove all my clothes and stand there, posing for them to draw to their heart's content."

"Nice," I remarked. "I like that."

"You have odd taste," she softly complained. I should take a moment to explain that when Yuki complains, she does so more with the look in her eyes than the tone of her voice. The tone of her voice only changes in a very subtle way.

"You do have compelling lines," I told her, hoping she would catch my drift. "I would hope that I'm sitting out there, somewhere."

"You think too highly of me," she then added.

"Do I?" I asked.

She stated, "My dreams are never so specific."

That was too bad. I had been hoping that she would prove to be an artist, deep down inside. She certainly had potential, and I wondered what kind of circumstances would cause her to reveal it. I then began to worry again about Saka-chan. Now, there was an artist if ever I saw one, but she seemed like she didn't really have an interest.

"Is something the matter?" Yuki asked.

"Is there something wrong with me?" I asked her.

"Why do you ask?" she asked right back.

"Saka-chan," I answered. "She ignored me, this morning."

Yuki then had some inexpressible look in her face. It wasn't quite a smirk, but it certainly wasn't a grimace. Was she mocking me, deep down inside? The thought was very troubling.

"Is she avoiding me?" I wondered. "I'm a terrible father, right?"

Yuki softly sighed and answered, "I told her that she should join a club. That may have caused her to become preoccupied."

"Oh," I said, relieved at this news.

"So, this behavior may be indirectly aimed at me," she added.

"That's a relief," I said, giving her a bit of my own smirk. "Of course, now I feel like a terrible husband."

"Don't be facetious," she scolded me, very familiar with this kind of complaint I like to give her.

"Okay," I said.

I may have been smirking, but I was really just amazed that she had taken the initiative in this situation. I'm usually the one telling Saka-chan to join a club, and then I look like a hypocrite thanks to the fact that I didn't join a club when I went to school. I think my eyes were showing gratitude, because Yuki and I then kissed in a kind of light acknowledgement of all this.

She then added, "There is nothing terrible except in your thoughts."

"I..." I started to answer, but then my cell phone started buzzing at me. I took it out, and looked at it, remarking, "I'm getting a text."

"Who is it?" she asked.

"Haruhi Suzumiya," I answered. "She wants to know if it's okay for her to ruin my life."

"Did she...?" Yuki started to ask.

I showed her my phone and answered, "Yeah, she actually worded it like..."

"Okay."

"So...?"

"Respond that she may rendezvous with you here."

"No, I mean whether it's okay for me..."

Yuki then went back to casually flipping through her catalog, as if nothing in the world was odd about this situation.

"Why are you asking me?" she softly questioned.

I then very casually explained, "I just thought you might have an opinion about me hanging around with a strange woman."

"I believe I can trust you," she mumbled.

"Okay..." I said, hoping I had heard that right.

She then looked back at me and clearly stated, "If you decide to betray me, I trust that you will at least inform me."

"Oh, absolutely," I clearly stated back.

"Have fun," she said.

"You sure you don't want to come along?" I offered.

"I'm going to be busy," she answered, gesturing with the catalog.

"Okay," I said.

- x -

I then waited for Miss Suzumiya to arrive. She wasn't going to come until after noon, so I spent the rest of the morning watching TV. I became bored and fell asleep until Saka-chan woke me up, immediately demanding that I play her in a board game.

"You visit another club today?" I asked.

"Jeez," she complained. "It's not like I don't intend to join something."

I remarked, "I think it's funny how you sample so many of the clubs."

"I'm probably going to stick with the literature club," she then stated.

"Literature?" I wondered.

"It's in the blood, after all," she explained, as if she were totally serious.

"But you're adopted," I reminded her.

"I know that, you big goof," she scolded me in her usual playful way.

"Oh," I softly remarked. "That was pretty good."

"And contrary to what you think," she added, "I like to read."

"That's reassuring," I said. Unlike this game, where Saka-chan was starting to get bored with beating me.

"So," she then asked, "is this woman coming over, or what?"

"Who?" I asked.

She answered, "This woman that Mom was muttering about."

"Your mother was muttering to herself?" I asked.

"Yeah," Saka-chan answered, pointedly adding, "and in her usual sounding-like-she-expects-an-answer kind of way."

"This woman is named Haruhi Suzumiya," I informed her.

"Okay," she said.

I then explained, "I need to make sure she doesn't get in trouble."

"Is she the type?" she asked.

"Definitely," I answered. "Even more so than you."

"I never get in trouble."

"So, you've done your homework?"

"How do you know I have homework?"

"It's coming up on Golden Week. They always pile on the homework."

I usually find out about homework from her teachers, so this rational extrapolation was a bit of a new trick for me. Not that it's a stretch, but it is a little unusual for me to actually demonstrate cleverness on this issue.

"I was a student myself, once," I smoothly explained.

- x -

When Miss Suzumiya did finally show up, she seemed very nice and polite, and even Saka-chan was amazed into silence for a few moments. It took Miss Suzumiya going through the requisite greetings and a bit of gratuitous banter before Saka-chan gave her the more typical snide remarks. And, to her credit, Miss Suzumiya didn't even seem to notice the remarks. We then decided to go visit the cafe, and that was mainly because she admitted that she hadn't seen it. I have this compulsive need to show off on Yuki's behalf, in particular because Yuki would never do so, herself.

At the cafe, I noticed that business had picked up quite a bit. It took me a few moments before I found an empty table, in fact. I then gestured in a very casual way in the general direction of all the patrons that were mostly sitting around, reading.

"So, what do you think?" I asked.

"Not bad," she answered. "Actually, it's very nice."

I then sat at the empty table and made an inviting gesture.

"You like pastries?" I asked. "We sell those, here."

She then sat across from me and admitted, "I'm not all that hungry."

"Sorry about Saka-chan," I immediately apologized.

"What?" Suzumiya said, looking genuinely confused.

"You know," I explained. "The attitude."

"Oh, that's okay," she answered. "I understand."

"She just started high school," I added.

"She's very pretty."

"You think so?"

"A very lively turn of phrase, too."

"She's actually very friendly, once you get to know her."

I then sat there and soaked in the ambiance. It was very nice, and I noted with pleasure that it mostly seemed like there were college students patronizing the shop. It gave the place a feel of sophistication and real purpose that it otherwise wouldn't have had.

"So, what else do you sell?" Suzumiya asked me.

I answered, "I can get you some coffee, of course."

"And lots of books, I see," she remarked.

"That's the kind of shop this is," I explained. "You relax and read a book, and you have a cup of coffee."

"It's very quaint."

"I like it."

It was strange, but I got the subtle impression that this wasn't the kind of place that Miss Suzumiya liked at all. Something about her had struck me as sophisticated, but she definitely looked a little uncomfortable. Was it all the books? I'm still not sure, to be honest.

"So," I asked, "how do you know Koizumi?"

"We knew each other in high school," she answered.

"I see," I said.

"What?" she asked.

I answered, "He's the sentimental type, I guess."

"I never asked him to go with me," she then complained. "He just tags along."

"So, he's the protective type," I guessed again.

"What about you?" she asked.

"What about me?" I asked.

She then scowled deeply and asked, "Aren't you ever going to write volume five?"

"Sheesh," I said, wondering how many times I'd been asked this, already. Here I was, dealing with yet another fan of the Kozeki space comedy.

"It's kind of pissing me off," she added.

"So, you've read my work?" I asked.

"It would be hard not to," she complained.

"And what do you do for a living?" I then asked, desperate to change the subject.

"I'm God," she said with a very straight face.

"You what?"

"Well..."


	62. Sheep

- Chapter 2: Sheep

Haruhi Suzumiya then went into some boring details about her position in the company that she founded. It seems that she quickly began to regret it, though she did get excited at the thought of gaining an edge on her competition. The thing is, smaller companies like hers get eaten alive. I should know. Yuki has fended off the advances of several corporations, making some tempting-looking offer to her that would have resulted in outrageous fees and impossible-to-maintain policies. Big corporations are the absolute worst: always biting off way more than they can chew and then destroying their partners to pay for their own incompetence.

Well, as you can tell, the politics involved is all very tiresome. Even just discussing it can rattle your nerves, and it makes a lot more sense to avoid the issue like the plague. Nevertheless, it was interesting to learn more about the boardroom side of the issue. Haruhi Suzumiya wasn't one of those figureheads, either. She really ran her own company, and I sensed that the last thing she would ever do is bite off more than she could chew (though she did sound terribly ambitious at times). I found myself a little mesmerized at some of the odd details of her partners in her funny little company she had. She seemed to know them far better than she had a right to, but I guess that just comes with the territory.

She was quite open about all these oddly intimate-sounding details, as we walked to the bank. It was a little refreshing to wander around on the city side of the neighborhood for a bit. I hadn't done that in quite some time. The buildings loom much larger and more intimidating than in the residential side of town. The bustle of traffic also helped distract me from thinking about the other side of this conversation: the part where Miss Suzumiya was claiming to be a deity. I think I did a good job of fending off those thoughts for as long as I could.

In fact, we were sitting in the bank, waiting at a bench, when I finally couldn't hold it in any longer. My curiosity became too much for me to bear, and I remarked, "You'll have to excuse me. I'm having a hard time believing that there's anything special about you."

"Yeah," she agreed, "that's what I keep thinking, but it's true."

"Really?" I asked.

"I'm not the God," she explained. "I'm just some kind of god. I know it sounds weird, but..."

"How do you know?" I persisted.

"Like this money drop," she added. "It used to be that I would send my best soldiers to do this, but they would always end up getting robbed or killed. Then I had the thought: you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself. And it worked out just fine. Nothing bad ever happens to me."

"You've never been robbed or attacked?" I said, almost positive that her statement made absolutely no sense. If there were criminals bold enough to attack her "soldiers," then they surely had no qualms about attacking her, personally.

"Well, not on my way to the bank," she answered. "I have been attacked, as I'm sure you've noticed."

"Oh, right," I said. "The Christmas incident."

I recalled then that Miss Suzumiya had discovered something about a certain movie producer, and that there was some kind of scandal involving college students and a taxi driver. There were also quite a few sordid rumors about the whole thing that I don't really want to repeat.

Suzumiya continued, "The Christmas incident was nothing. One crazy bitch with brass knuckles and some kind of drunken grudge. What I'm talking about are serious attacks. You know? People with knives and guns."

"You've been shot at?" I asked, becoming very skeptical about all this.

She answered, "This one guy came to my compound and sat in on a lecture. Sat right near the front. He was just staring at me blankly the whole time, so I'm thinking he's some kind of weirdo. I get that a lot. Anyway, he just smoothly stands up and pulls out a gun in one smooth motion. A moment later, he pulls the trigger. Aiming right at my head."

"Holy crap," I softly exclaimed.

"Yeah," she agreed. "That was roughly what was going through my mind, at the time. Anyway, I just involuntarily close my eyes. It was barely more than a blink. Next thing I know, the guy is lying right at my feet, dead. I look around, and there's a bullet hole in the wall right behind me. It was almost like the bullet traveled right through me, harmlessly."

"What happened to that guy?" I asked.

She answered, "One of my faithful guards had been sitting behind this guy. He had seemed suspicious, the moment he had walked in the door. So, they had him flagged. Even so, this crazy guy still had enough time to stand up, get a target and take a shot. It really makes you think."

I then remarked, "Things like that happen, you know? Not very often, but I'm guessing they happen to you a little more often than to most people."

"Have you ever seen someone get shot at?" she asked.

"No," I replied.

"Look," she said, becoming very serious. "I should have been dead. There is no way that guy could have missed. He was almost point blank. He was calm and collected. He was professionally trained, too. A good stance and a proper grip. This guy had experience at a firing range. I should know. I've had a lot of gun practice, myself."

I didn't want to even think about what had prompted her gun practice. I mean, that isn't exactly a hobby you can just pick up in your spare time.

"I have a lot of connections in law enforcement," she explained.

"That's kind of amazing right there," I remarked. It stood to reason, though. I mean, if she was getting attacked all the time, she'd probably be on familiar terms with many of the detectives involved in her cases. And, no doubt, they might have the inclination to see her be able to defend herself. It's little too incredible for me to imagine, but I guess I could understand.

"I was once stabbed right in the chest," she then casually stated.

"Stabbed?" I said, still a little dazed by her gun incident.

She pointed at her chest and added, "Right here. It was on the street. And honestly, it was kind of dark at the time. I might not be remembering it correctly, but I definitely got stabbed. I got up a few seconds later, and the wound was gone. I had this faint little scar for a few weeks, but then that cleared up."

"Are you sure you didn't just imagine it?" I asked, thinking how ridiculous that question sounded, the moment after I'd asked it.

She then stated, "You don't just imagine someone stabbing you in the chest. Okay? If you had been stabbed, you would understand. That isn't something you just recover from. I mean, I still kind of feel like the blade is there, right now. It doesn't just go away."

"But you don't have a scar..." I started to point out.

She then scowled and insisted, "This is what I've been trying to tell you. I'm a god."

"But..." I started to object.

"I've been stabbed, shot at, beaten with baseball bats, chained up, thrown out of a window..."

"I never realized how dangerous being a god could be."

"People don't hate me because they think I'm a god. That's crazy, if you think about it."

"Really?"

I think it was right about here where I started to wonder if maybe she wasn't actually correct in her assessment of herself. I mean, it was very tempting to agree with her, but it also seemed so incredibly insane at the same time. It was like I was looking at someone through a powerful reality-distortion field. Even so, maybe the laws of physics worked a little differently on her side of the universe.

She then explained, "People attack me because they think that they're God, and they see me as some kind of usurper or whatever. Or they just hate me because I'm a convenient target. Or they hate me because they have some kind of grudge against me. It's not like it's hard to find people who are hostile for one reason or another."

That was briefly amusing, but then I realized that it was a bit of a disconnect. I then told her, "No, I was just thinking that it's weird how you keep contending with danger, even though you're some kind of deity."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, think about it," I answered. "If you really are a deity, then danger shouldn't even be an issue. If I were a god, I'd just delegate the responsibility of handling danger to my small army of guardians or whatever. Or I'd just use my godly prophetic powers to maneuver around danger. Or I'd just use my mind-reading powers to confront the issue at the heart of it long before the danger could arise."

"You have a point," she admitted.

There are all types of gods. I realize that, but the whole point of being called a god is that you have some kind of ability to rise above the usual dangers of being human. That's one of those necessary qualifications, I would think. I mean, why else would you bother differentiating between a god and some regular person?

"That is pretty amazing, though," I admitted. "Maybe you're just some kind of demi-god."

"I have had that thought a few times," she said.

I then guessed, "Maybe you're the next step in human evolution."

She laughed and smoothly bragged, "I am pretty amazing, but I doubt that."

"Wouldn't that make a bit more sense?" I wondered.

"Maybe," she answered, suddenly looking thoughtful. "You know, you're the first person to take me seriously about all this."

"I am?"

"I can never explain things like this to anyone. They never believe me."

- x -

We then returned to the neighborhood, and Miss Suzumiya explained a bit more about her job. As it turned out, her job was really more about finding good things in the world and helping energize them. Usually, all she would need to do is just talk with people, and that was good enough. I asked her what made her want to do this specific type of work, and she then blamed it all on Yuki. I was a little baffled at the thought of Yuki steering someone toward a career in leading some kind of religious organization, but then I thought about it. It even began to make a little bit of sense.

I could already tell that Miss Suzumiya was very good at handling herself, and she did have a way with words. She didn't exactly come across as amiable or thoughtful, but it was evident that she could stand and take charge and motivate people toward whatever kind of good purpose she could imagine. And I was becoming convinced that her imagination was commendable, if a little too tidy and self-centered at times.

The thing that bothered me was how she might be received by normal people. Any random person who had merely heard of her might react very negatively to her, but Miss Suzumiya seemed rather nonplussed by the concept. She very frankly told me that the only problems she had ever encountered were those truly random crazies who would attack her in some savage or furious way that marked them as the obvious villains. It all seemed rather comical, but this is her world. I could never even conceive of a story like hers, but there it was.

We then came to an apartment building, and she stopped and closed her eyes. She then started to take a few deep breaths.

"You okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine," she answered. "I'm just getting psyched up."

"Sounds like fun," I remarked.

She then looked at me and said, "No offense, but I have to ask: How on Earth did a bland guy like you end up with a smart girl like Yuki?"

"My animal magnetism," I answered.

This earned me the cold glare I had been hoping for. As I suspected, this was a good look for her, and I can still picture it in my mind. Call it an acquired taste, but I thought it was kind of cute.

"Yeah, right," I sneered at myself. "Well, this was back in college. I was a much different person, back in those days."

"You were a hot-tempered brat, you mean," she interpreted.

"That's a pretty good guess, actually," I said. "My girlfriend from high school and I liked to fight a lot."

"Your girlfriend from high school?"

"Let's just say that she never worried about money."

"I see."

Miss Suzumiya then began climbing the stairs, leading up through the apartment. I followed, continuing my story.

"Anyway, it was starting to get pretty ugly. I think we were starting to enjoy getting in pointless arguments. The more pointless, the better. The more open and public, the better. Finally, Yuki came over to us and directly told us to shut up. We had been disturbing her reading."

"So, it was love at first sight?"

"More like annoyance. I mean, I've never been into short girls, and Yuki is pretty short by anyone's standards. I've never been into the whole little sister fetish. Never cared for glasses, either."

"You totally look like you would be, though."

"Only people who've never had little sisters would be into that, though. I can guarantee you, little sisters are more annoying than anything else. Anyway, Yuki was butting in on something she knew nothing about. She's a shorty, and I couldn't help noticing how she had this cigarette. And I've never been fond of smokers."

Suzumiya had a good laugh and remarked, "Truly, a perfect match."

It was perfect, actually. I had this vast and disturbing imagination, and Yuki was someone who wanted every bit of it, and she even encouraged me to share some of my ideas with the world.

I continued, "Anyway, I later encountered her at the library. She accused me of following her, but it just turned out that we both liked books. She was having boyfriend problems of her own. Or rather, there was this annoying guy who kept bugging her. I ended up scaring him off, so that I could more calmly and plainly begin harassing Yuki, myself. I never really got the chance, though."

We then arrived on the fifth floor, and I recalled that this was the location of one of the apartments she wanted to visit.

"Here we are," she said.

"Five-ten?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"So...?" I started to ask whether we should go ahead and knock.

"We have a few more minutes," she said, glancing at her watch.

"Well..." I said, taking a moment to remember where I'd left off. "Anyway, we met up again in a music store. It turned out that we both like the same crappy pop stars, so we just shared the same albums. We went from trading music to trading expressions of affection."

"Sheesh," Suzumiya complained. "Straight out of a romance novel."

I amended, "Minus the exotic adventure, the dining in classy restaurants, and maybe a few dance scenes, sure."

"You know your romance genre," she remarked.

"I am a professional," I said, getting ready to list my further qualifications when I noticed her gesturing at me for silence.

"What was that?" she asked.

"What was what?" I asked.

- x -

About ten minutes later, we were standing around in front of the apartment complex, watching as an ambulance pulled away. It turned out that the old man Suzumiya had been about to visit had just then suffered a severe heart attack, and we were very prompt about calling for help.

"So, you're a professional?" she then asked. "Doesn't that mean you write?"

"Of course, it does," I answered. "I just haven't written anything in a while."

"Right," she said, starting down the sidewalk.

"Hold on a minute," I protested. "Are we just going to another apartment building?"

"Yeah," she answered. "No point in visiting the other people, here. Too much commotion."

"So, that's it?" I asked. "You're going to leave those people you were visiting to deal with all that by themselves?"

"So?" she said, just a little innocently baffled.

"So..." I answered. "Isn't it your job to... I don't know. Offer counseling or something? You're a religious leader, right?"

She had another good laugh and then explained, "You've obviously never had much experience dealing with people in this sort of situation."

"I..." I said, thinking for a moment. "You're right. I don't."

She patiently explained, "The guy just had a heart attack. Lucky for him, we showed up when we did. The neighbors will all still be in shock for a while. Better to just let them sort through that for a few days. Then, later, I can swing by and cheer them up."

"I hadn't thought of that," I admitted.

"It's all part of the drill," she casually added. "You leave them to the shock and anger for the first day or two. Then the denial and acceptance a week later. At least a few days. Sometimes, it can take months."

"Jeez," I complained, thinking of how casually she could explain all that.

"So," she continued, "about this Daisuke character... I'm having trouble connecting to him on a personal level."

"You mean Daisuke Kozeki?" I asked. "From my novels?"

"Yeah," she answered. "I've been going back and reading that again. I didn't really notice it, the first time. I don't know, but it feels like he doesn't really deserve much sympathy from the reader. You know what I mean?"

I explained, "He's kind of a spoiled brat, but that makes it a little more okay that so many bad things start happening to him. You know?"

"I know," she answered. "It's just that you really need to connect with your readers, and that main character just kind of disconnects. It drains away a lot of the tension."

"You sound like my editor," I observed, scowling at the thought.

"And then there's that Karen woman," she added. "What the heck, man?"

"Something wrong with her?" I asked in my best down-to-business tone.

"Is she a total bitch?" Suzumiya asked.

"She is a little too easy for her own good," I admitted.

"I know," she said. "That just makes me hate her. What's up with all the attention she gets?"

"She's basically fan service," I answered.

"Is that it?"

"I like her, to be honest. She's a very compelling character. I pour a lot of vicarious wish-fulfillment into her."

"Nice."

"I have started to run out of ideas for her, though. I don't think she'll be in volume five, at all."

It was good to get the ideas flowing, but this sort of development was just making me start to feel a little depressed. As a writer, it would soon become obligatory for me to kill off that character. That is, unless I could come up with some crazy new inspiration for how to use her.

"So, you've started on it?" Suzumiya asked.

"No," I answered.

"Why not?" she complained. "What are you waiting for?"

"I'm pretty burned out," I answered. "I think, after about nine hundred pages, you start to seriously run out of things you can say about the same five characters."

"So?" she said. "Just create more characters."

I answered, "Yeah, but then it won't be the same story. Story always revolves around characters."

She then suggested, "Maybe a shift in the genre is in order. Maybe it's time for the story to take a romantic turn."

"Not a bad idea," I remarked. "Comedy is pretty tough."

"Then again," she answered herself, "you kind of disconnect with your audience when you do that. You start in on the romance angle, and it's suddenly all about sex."

Here was an insight that I never would have expected from a professional, let alone an amateur. Then again, editors are usually so caught up with editorial policy and what the readers expect that they totally lose sight of the fact that you're writing a story and that there might be a purpose in writing a story (other than just to give readers what they want).

"Now that I think about it," she continued, "you probably wouldn't get very far with a romance. Comedy would carry the story out quite a bit. You sure you couldn't just toss together a collection of shorts?"

How easy she made that sound! If only it were that easy. "I would need a lot of inspiration for that kind of project," I answered.

"Seriously?" she asked.

"You have no idea," I answered. "I mostly write with characterization in mind. Every little twist and turn in the story gives a subtle nuance of character."

She then stated, "It seemed to me like you mostly took your cues from TV shows and radio drama."

I explained, "I start out with a theme and I compose around that."

"Themes, huh?"

"That's right."

"You haven't done a money theme, have you?"

"I don't think so."

- x -

The next apartment we went to was the home of an oddly abrupt man with what looked like a mercenary lifestyle, though he claimed to be a school teacher. Everything about him seemed contrary to his story, and I immediately perceived that there was some intrigue. I chalked it up to a romance of some kind and pictured him as a kind of stalker, though I have to admit that he didn't really seem like the stalker type.

In fact, he handled himself with a certain grace and professionalism that I generally admire. He gave all the proper greetings and goodbyes, and he accepted our offered kindnesses with dignity and a return offer of some promised kindness. It was all a little too smooth and polished, though. I was glad when we did leave, though I sensed Miss Suzumiya had been wanting to stay a little longer.

"So, how do you know that guy?" I asked, as we were leaving.

"We dated for a while," she answered.

"Back in high school?" I asked.

"What?" she answered. "No, this was recently."

"Oh," I said, thinking that that explained the oddly creepy atmosphere.

"Did I just spoil the running gag?" she asked.

I admitted, "I was kind of hoping we could keep that going, yeah."

She then told me, "The only guy I dated in high school was Itsuki Koizumi."

"That name sounds familiar..." I said, putting on a thoughtful face.

"Very funny," she said, scowling at my bad attempt at humor.

"Small world, huh?" I remarked.

"Almost microscopic, at times," she added.

- x -

Once we were done visiting friends of Suzumiya's organization, I decided to do the generous thing and called for a taxi. I didn't want her to walk home, and I still had a few questions I wanted to ask her. I was also curious to see what her compound looked like, and I didn't feel like walking the distance, myself.

She didn't seem to think it strange that I would accompany her, and I got the impression that inviting people to tour her operation was something familiar to her. I wasn't sure I really wanted to talk with her on the ride over. It felt strange to me, though she seemed to expect some questions, and she waited patiently for me to ask. I eventually summoned up the nerve to start.

"It's weird," I said, trying to convince myself that Suzumiya was for real, and not just some figment of my imagination.

"What?" she prompted.

I asked her, "You've never been in a serious relationship?"

"Sheesh," she complained, looking deeply disgusted.

"Did I say something so terrible?" I asked, very astonished.

"I don't want it," she answered.

"So, why even date?" I wondered.

She replied, "It just happens, okay? It isn't something I set out to do. I just kind of fall in love."

"And it never works out? That's really wrong, I think."

"You're telling me?"

With that, she looked just as astonished as I felt. It was surreal, and she very thoroughly agreed with me. Of all the crazy things, this was definitely the craziest. Maybe I'm just a romantic, but I can't even picture not wanting to be in a relationship. Ever since high school, I've felt this urgency, and I can tell you that it never goes away. Even if you get married, you're going to want some kind of romance. Or, at least, that was what I always felt.

"I'm a loser," she casually admitted. "Pure and simple. You don't keep playing a losing game. That's just stupid."

"That's pretty sad," I remarked.

"Don't give me that," she softly growled. "I stopped feeling sorry for myself a long time ago."

"It's still..." I tried to think of a way to describe it, but words failed me.

"What?" she said, looking a little more annoyed.

I then recalled, "You dated Koizumi in high school?"

"Yeah, I told you," she answered.

"So, what happened?" I asked.

She frowned and asked me, "Why aren't you working on volume five?"

"I'm burned out," I repeated.

She nicely complained, "You left a lot of loose ends, you know?"

"I know," I answered.

"So," she told me, "just pick up where you left off."

"But that's the problem, see?" I said. "All those loose ends add up. Each new volume feels like I'm rewriting the whole series from the start."

"That's life," she answered. "You progress from one level to the next, each one significantly more difficult than the previous one."

"That's video games, not books," I corrected.

She then rolled her eyes. Somehow, this conversation wasn't quite going the way I had planned it. What I had really wanted was to glimpse the vast angst of someone who had avoided romance all their life despite having been given good looks, a brave soul, and an energetic disposition. The story of that angst was surely like a burning torch of passion. How could I not want to touch that flame? Even so, I wasn't sure I'd want to pay the price of finding out. I decided to try a few subtle hints.

"I really just need a fresh start," I admitted. "A new set of characters."

"Yeah..." she said. "Good luck with that."

"You don't think I can do it?" I asked.

"You don't have the skills for it," she answered. "Like you said yourself, characterization is what you do."

"So?" I asked.

She explained, "Your characters are so lively and vivid because they resemble actual people you know. For you to take on a new set of characters, you'd have to replace everyone you know."

"That's not true," I said.

"It isn't?" she asked, sounding doubtful.

I answered, "I don't know anyone like Karen, for example."

She then stated, "I don't think a girl like that exists on this planet."

I softly remarked, "I'm starting to understand why you don't have a serious relationship."

"I can just get out and walk, if you like," she said, sounding like she'd really do it.

"That's not necessary," I said. "I'm really enjoying this experience. And maybe I will start working on a fifth volume. I suddenly have this inspiration to add a sixth character."

"Really?" she asked.

I answered, "A lovely and provocative young woman who turns out to be surprisingly contentious and a little obnoxious."

"Careful," she said, starting to look at me very seriously.

"I'm always careful," I said, folding my arms and showing a bit of disapproval. "You should know that by now."

- x -

It was an odd sensation I felt there. I was certain that Miss Suzumiya was strong and very sincere when she told me that she didn't need romance in her life, but I also felt certain that had I shown the slightest romantic interest in her, she would not have hesitated to respond in kind. I also have to admit that I'm a coward. I can't even imagine being brave enough to cheat on a woman like Yuki. I actually shudder at the thought of it.

Still, there was this odd sensation that I was causing Suzumiya a bit more tension than normal, and I couldn't help myself. She didn't seem nervous, though. I might have just been imagining that she could be vulnerable, but probably not.

I stood in front of the waiting taxi and took in the view of her compound. It was nice, and not at all what I expected. It was really just a small two-story building, like a shop. It didn't seem like a place for religious people to congregate, but I suddenly realized that that wasn't the important thing. What really makes a religion work is how you feel about it, and anywhere can become a temple, if everyone involved has that attitude.

"You want something to eat?" she offered.

"I probably shouldn't," I said.

"You wouldn't be imposing," she insisted. "It's okay."

I then said, "I'm just going to be heating something up when I get home, so..."

"Don't be that way," she said, getting a little annoyed again.

"Okay," I answered. I really am a pushover, sometimes.

"You should really loosen up and have fun," she added.

"Fun?" I asked. "In a place like this?"

"Trust me," she stated with authority. "You'll have lots of fun. Just go with the flow."

"If you say so," I said.

I then went to the taxi and paid the driver, then watched for a few moments as he drove away.

Suzumiya then started to enter and told me, "I'm probably going to be dragged away for one thing or another. So, go ahead and make yourself at home."

"You have a lot of friends and followers?" I guessed.

"I get a lot of young couples with kids," she answered. "The kids take away a lot of my free time."

I then followed, as she smoothly went in through the entrance. "So, you're basically the one who keeps them distracted?"

"Yeah..." she answered. "I can never have kids, just so you know. And it's all the fault of these brats that come here."

"You don't like kids, I take it?"

"I hate them, but for some weird reason they seem to love me."

- x -

I then had a bite to eat, and I have to say I had a lot of fun. The place is just so warm and cheerful, everyone is so positive and lively, and every part of that place has something so surprising and pleasant that merely standing around is enjoyable. With Miss Suzumiya playing her guitar and singing fun songs with the kids, it just became unbearably fun. I think I went into fun overload there for a bit. I eventually had to retreat into a side room.

I found a TV, and that seemed like a good way to waste time while calming down. I then noticed a station showing news, and that seemed appropriate for the mood I was in. I relaxed on a sofa and was starting to get a good feeling from the program when I noticed a very beautiful woman appear in the room. She looked a little surprised.

"Oh!" she said. "You disappeared on us."

I then thought for a moment and said, "Hello again. Asakura, right?"

"That's right," she said. "And you're watching TV?"

"It's not a problem, is it?" I asked.

"You mind if I join you?" she asked me.

"Go right ahead," I answered.

"Thanks," she said, immediately sitting next to me.

I explained, "I just don't feel like the day has really happened unless I get caught up on current events."

"I know what you mean," she casually remarked. "I'm a total TV junkie."

"It's amazing, though," I said. "I mean, how Miss Suzumiya keeps the kids entertained."

Asakura then smirked as she said, "It's parental abandonment, if you ask me."

"Really?" I asked.

She answered, "Japan's dirty little secret."

"Ouch," I softly said. "Don't say that."

Somehow, it didn't seem right to want to scold her too much. Ryoko Asakura has this way of smiling that makes it seem horrible and wrong to want to disagree with her. She probably could have told me things far more shocking than that, and I wouldn't have doubted it.

"Oh, look," she softly exclaimed, pointing at the TV. "There's that clown again."

"The Harlequin?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

TV news programs had come a long way since I was a kid. What used to be blurry and out-of-focus was now sharp and presented more clearly than ever before. It also helped that their subject had turned and looked at the camera, this time around. The figure was dressed in some gaudy outfit, a thing very much befitting the title of clown. I could see from this particular shot that there was also a mask involved.

Asakura remarked, "They got a good close-up, this time around."

"Is Harlequin a woman?" I asked.

"Seems that way," she answered.

"Looks strangely familiar," I said, thinking that I knew that particular head-tilt and arm-movement gesture.

"You like her, don't you?"

"I've always been a little mystified by her, but now that I'm fairly certain she's a woman..."

"Naughty boy. Aren't you married?"

"Give me a break."

I sighed and thought about all this. Not good. Yuki would definitely not like it. Here I was: surrounded by women I liked, and none of them were her. She would never say anything, but her eyes would insist on knowing everything. She would find out, one way or another. That didn't stop her from insisting that I was paranoid about her, but I can't help noticing that she does get jealous.

"I know," Asakura answered my unspoken question. "Nagato doesn't mind if you do a little window shopping. Am I right?"

"You know Yuki?" I asked her.

"We went to high school together," she answered.

"There you go," I said, finally getting some satisfaction.

I don't think I had let her in on that joke. It wasn't important. The thing that was annoying was how short the news package had been, concerning Harlequin. Very disrespectful.

"Sheesh," I complained. "A one minute blurb, and that's it?"

"So," Asakura then asked, "what do you think of Suzumiya?"

"She's lovely," I answered.

Asakura then asked me, "You have a thing for her, huh?"

"I do feel bad for her," I admitted. "She seems like she's in a really difficult position."

"That's a serious understatement," Asakura remarked. "More like, an impossible position."

"How did things get like that for her?"

"Bad karma, maybe. Who knows?"

"Even so..."

"What?"

I then wondered about this thought I was having. Ryoko Asakura surely knew Miss Suzumiya better than I did, and yet she didn't take seriously the whole deity angle. Then again, I got the feeling Asakura really doesn't take anything seriously.

I answered, "She told me that she's a god, but then it sounded to me more like she's the plaything of some powerful and cruel entity."

"How do you figure that?" she softly asked.

"Well..." I replied. "She has a lot of amazing experiences, but they seem more like the kind of thing someone would do to you if they had a terrible grudge against you."

"That does make a lot of sense," she agreed, looking strangely serious.

I then added, "Now that I think about it, Harlequin was spotted in that park where we spoke with that guy..."

"What guy?"

"I'm bad with names. Anyway, this guy was Miss Suzumiya's boyfriend, recently. Or that's what she told me."

"Right."

"And now we see Harlequin messing around in that same exact place. It can't be a coincidence."

"What are you suggesting?"

"I don't know. Maybe all these bad things happening to Suzumiya are Harlequin's fault."

"You may be right."

Was I? It might have been a coincidence, but it also seemed really convenient. Maybe it wasn't a coincidence, but there was also more to it. The more I thought along those lines, the more I realized that these were just questions.

I then observed, "That still doesn't explain a few things, but then Harlequin isn't exactly a normal person, right?"

"She looks pretty normal to me," Asakura answered.

"Yeah," I said, "but she kind of acts alien, don't you think?"

"Hmm..." she thought.

"Am I crazy," I then asked, "or did Harlequin look a bit like she was posing for the camera?"

"Whoa!" she answered. "Good eye. Yeah, I think you're right."

I then asked, "You aren't just agreeing with me to be nice, are you?"

She laughed in a sincere way and asked, "Whatever gave you that impression?"

Yeah, right. Why would I even think that? Of course, she was just making observations. I was being a little rude, but then I was really starting to notice lately just how rude I could be, at times.

- x -

I then returned to the main hall, and I discovered that Suzumiya had just been warming up for a lecture. The subject was about money, and how it was very much like candy. A little bit is okay, and even healthy. Having too much of it was like a poison, you would start to really hate it, and you might even get really sick and develop an aversion to it. Like candy, it was sweet for a brief period of time, but you needed to be satisfied with just that. And, if anyone really wanted some, you would be silly and rude to keep it all to yourself. What a nice, powerful lesson for these lucky kids to learn! Would that someone had taught me like this. I would have been a much happier person when I was younger, but then I might not have met Yuki had that happened.

When the lecture was over, I decided it was time to leave. I excused myself and stepped outside, calling another taxi. As I waited, Miss Suzumiya appeared again. She seemed content to wait with me, and I thought for a moment about her circumstances. The thing she avoided answering me about was Itsuki Koizumi. There was a story there, and I didn't doubt it. Some kind of terrible disappointment had beset her, and she had spent the rest of her life, overcompensating for it.

"Have you spoken with Koizumi?" I asked her. "He's lining up some kind of Golden Week getaway."

She answered, "Sounds like fun, but I don't know."

"You might want to ask him," I suggested.

She then asked, "You aren't setting me up, are you?"

"No," I replied. "Actually, Koizumi is probably going to bring his girlfriend, so..."

She added, "I'm not in a position to be having fun. Especially on Golden Week. You understand?"

"I see," I said, thinking that she obviously didn't want to be a fifth wheel.

"Anyway," she explained, "we just don't have the money to be neglecting the few faithful we still have."

"Aren't you getting ready for a big move?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "That's why things are getting tight. I'm also hoping for a big windfall. If everything works out, for once..."

"You handle it all pretty well," I remarked.

"You have anything you could donate?" she asked. "I could use every yen I can get my hands on."

This explained the lecture. That had really been aimed at me. "Sorry," I answered. "All my big money is tied up in Saka-chan. You know? The college fund and all."

"Okay," she said. "Just thought I'd ask."

I then pointed out, "I'm sure Koizumi would love to help you out."

She then frowned like she would rather not ask Koizumi for anything. That must have been some disappointment, for her to still be so upset after all these years.


	63. Mother

- Chapter 3: Mother

That evening, everything was normal again. It felt like sliding into a warm bath or putting on a good pair of slippers. You just feel so safe. The world around me seems like a blur of people chanting slogans, yelling at each other over one thing or another, mindlessly provoking each other with inane warnings. How much it takes to drive all that crap back out of my mind! To think, I wasn't a whole lot different before Yuki came along and told me to shut up. That had really been the turning point. I did shut up, and then suddenly it was like I was able to breathe.

I tried to sleep, but I was plagued by thoughts of what Miss Suzumiya had told me. Especially the part about her being a god. That had been truly bizarre, but then my grandmother once told me that everyone is a god, and we shouldn't be too surprised when we go around creating miracles. I never really took that seriously, but Suzumiya was making me think that there might be something to it. I eventually realized that all this thinking was what was tripping me up, and I stopped doing that and went to sleep. Yuki was also having trouble sleeping, but then Yuki has always had terrible insomnia. I wasn't too surprised to find her at the dining room table that morning. I was a little surprised to see her smoking, though. She usually saves that for around three in the afternoon or right before going to sleep.

"Smoking?" I asked. "This early in the morning?"

"I was busy all night," she explained.

"Doing research?" I asked.

"That's right," she answered.

I then complained, "You know I worry about you, sometimes."

She then briefly had a look of utter defeat on her face. This wasn't an issue I wanted to keep dredging up. That's for sure. I had once used guilt to make her quit smoking, and it worked on her for a few months. It was terrible, though. She became really depressed, and then when she relapsed, she cried for an hour. I'm not sure which was worse: her trying to quit or failing.

"I know," I said. "It isn't just a matter of will power."

"I have hormonal deficiencies," she explained. "And when those are rectified, I have difficulty keeping focus."

"Which one is worse?" I asked.

She replied, "If I submit to genetic modification, I become dependent on challenging simulations. That solution is more socially acceptable, though it causes far more rapid deterioration."

"Sounds like fun, to me," I remarked.

She then stated, "If I become dependent on games, the games themselves are no longer fun. Existence in itself threatens to become monotonous."

I was right. It was more than just will power, here. If those had been my options, I'd have probably ended up a hopeless vagrant or a shut-in. The fact that she had figured out a way to cope at all was kind of amazing.

"Enjoy your cigarette," I said, very sincerely.

"Thank you," she responded.

"Does Saka-chan have any bad habits?" I wondered.

"Like smoking?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

"She has begun to emulate my compulsion toward sweet ingestibles."

"That sounds pretty normal."

"She also seems to be emulating your tendency toward inactivity."

"So, there's nothing serious."

"Was there some purpose in this topic?"

"I'm wondering if you would let Saka-chan mind the house for us."

"No."

I had thought myself clever for this approach. Still, the answer was no. It then occurred to me that there was more to this resistance than met the eye. I decided to press the matter and see what turned up.

"It's only for a few days. You always tell her that she should start taking responsibility for herself."

"Did she convince you to ask me?"

"No. I don't think she could really work up the courage, but it's as plain as the nose on her face. She wants to do it."

"I would be remiss in permitting a task that demanding."

"Really?"

"She has difficulty dressing herself appropriately."

"She is a little careless in that respect, sure."

"She refuses to take the details of such an assignment seriously."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean she can't do it. Is being serious really all that important?"

For a few moments, there was a look of questioning in Yuki's eyes. For a moment, I thought I saw something akin to worry. It was a peculiar sensation, but I didn't think anything of it at the time.

"Perhaps not," she then admitted.

I then pressed, "And anyway, how will she ever learn how to take care of herself if you never let her?"

She smirked and answered, "There is more to life than trial and error. Proper instruction is sufficient."

I then asked, "But can you really predict what will happen from one minute to the next? There's more to life than just living according to some set of rules."

"There is?" she said. This was like a dare. I think she was prompting me to give my best argument.

"Just give her a chance," I said. "That's all I'm saying."

She then looked away, and I briefly wondered if I had offended her. She then took a deep breath and said, "You always spoil her."

"I know," I agreed. "It's terrible, isn't it?"

"Okay," she relented. "I will permit it, but her homework is your responsibility."

"Sheesh."

"You should be flattered. She never requests my assistance."

- x -

I hadn't thought about it much, but Yuki really took to the role of being a mother. The above conversation reminded me just how much I had come to depend on her to take all the annoying details out raising Saka-chan, and I was starting to realize that annoying details are the thing that's the most fun in a task like that. Taking care of a child's basic needs turns out to be a primal instinct and an addictive pastime in itself. I believe Yuki once described the phenomenon as a survival compulsion, feeding a pattern of behavior that was self-reinforcing. I hadn't really appreciated what she'd been saying, but I think I was starting to see the results, now. Basically, she really likes being a mother.

Yuki also somehow finds time to be a good shop owner, and she particularly enjoys dealing with the management issues. With the shop, she had come to depend on me to handle the annoying details of inventory and stocking. Everything else she either delegated to an employee or she handled personally. It was all very pleasant. And yet, I felt a definite need for a vacation. Leaving everything behind to be looked after for a few days was suddenly a very good idea, I thought.

At the cafe, things suddenly became a little hectic. To judge by how Yuki was suddenly busy in the back office, I deduced that there were some last-minute arrangements that needed to be completed before leaving things in the hands of others. I just sat and waited at a table, while Yuki was busy typing at her computer and talking on the phone.

Itsuki Koizumi showed up about ten minutes later than I had expected, which was probably just as well. "Good morning," he said, greeting me in his usual cheerful way.

"Welcome," I said.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked.

"Just finishing up a few details," I answered.

"So, I see," he said, taking a brief glance toward the office.

"Things always seem to go haywire at the worst possible time," I observed.

"Typical," he agreed.

"Might as well have a seat," I suggested.

"Okay," he answered, "but just for a minute. I'm being a little rude to our first guest."

"Your girlfriend?" I asked.

"No," he replied, sitting across from me. "Actually, I just picked up Miss Suzumiya."

"So, what happened with the girlfriend?" I asked.

He replied, "She decided not to join us."

From the cheerful way that he related this, I wasn't sure what to make of this situation. Was this really okay?

He then added, "And, quite frankly, I'm a little glad it turned out this way."

"Is your life always this dramatic?" I asked.

He laughed and answered, "Seems that way. Yes."

I pointed out, "I thought Miss Suzumiya was busy with her obligations and such."

"Exactly," he said. "That's how I convinced her to come along."

"I see," I said.

He explained, "All that stress really isn't a healthy thing. And Golden Week really is the perfect opportunity."

"So, we're going sailing?" I asked.

"Last minute change of plans," he replied. "We're going to an old resort in the mountains."

"Oh," I said, wondering how that had happened.

"Don't look so disappointed," he answered my look. "This place we're going to has a hot springs. Plus, there's an old rumor that it's haunted."

"Straight out of a comic book," I remarked.

"Now, now," he nicely chided. "You can't always avoid these cliches that life throws at you."

"Yeah, I know," I said. "I just had the cliched conversation with Yuki this morning about Saka-chan."

"Oh?" he prompted.

"You know? The whole 'let her spread her wings' speech."

"Oh, right. So, you have Saka-chan looking after the house?"

"Yeah."

"Good for you. About time you started showing her some trust. You two were starting to worry me, for a bit."

- x -

Once we got underway, I could definitely sense some weird tension in the air. I couldn't put my finger on it, but then I was busy enjoying the scenery. It isn't very often that I get to take a road trip, like this. Even Koizumi was starting to look a little annoyed with the silence.

He observed, "The women are awfully quiet, it seems."

"I guess it's up to us to make conversation," I concluded.

"That's fine with me," he said, "though I wouldn't want anyone to feel left out."

"Don't bother asking Yuki," I told him.

"I know," he said. "She's the quiet type."

I added, "She'll jump right in when she feels the need. Trust me on that."

"Okay," Koizumi said, glancing at the passenger seat next to him. "How about you, Miss Suzumiya?"

"Are we the only ones in this group?" she asked.

"Actually, no," he answered. "There is another woman joining us at our destination."

"Oh?" I prompted.

He explained, "I met a very pleasant woman last night at the hotel bar. I hope you guys don't mind. I've arranged for her to greet us."

Suzumiya then asked him, "So, are you cheating on your girlfriend?"

He chuckled and answered, "Okay, see? This is why I like groups of three or more. You get a nice, lively conversation going."

"I take it that means yes," she interpreted.

He then asked her, "Is this your way of prompting me to explain the absence of my girlfriend?"

"It certainly sounds that way," I remarked.

"Hey!" she said, turning to look at me.

"Allow me to explain," Koizumi said. "My girlfriend of three months was recently caught investigating a certain matter that led to some troubling discoveries. I confronted her about that, and... Well, let's just say that I don't really believe she has an interest in me, anymore."

I guessed, "She made some troubling discoveries about you?"

"You have that backwards," he replied.

"Oh, okay," I said.

"So, who's the other woman?" Suzumiya asked him.

He replied, "A very charming young woman by the name of Mikuru Asahina. She seemed very mysterious and yet familiar. I couldn't quite put my finger on it."

"That sounds like a pick-up line," Suzumiya said. "Did you use it on her?"

"Actually," he answered, "she approached me. It was very strange."

"You like to hang around in bars?" I asked.

"I do," he answered. "I have this penchant for asking the bartender at the hotel across the street from my condo for his latest experiment. He likes to get my opinion, though I must admit I do little more than taste his drinks."

I then complained, "Don't tell me you're really a secret agent, working for the government."

"Why would you think that?" he asked.

I answered, "Your stories sound like they're straight out of a cheap spy novel."

"My life is actually pretty boring," he remarked, "if you overlook all the predictable corporate intrigue."

"So, you're really a corporate spy?" I asked.

"Funny," he said.

I explained, "I'm just trying to flesh out some characters I'm working on."

"So, you're going back to writing?" he asked.

"Probably," I answered.

"Well, good for you," he said. "I just recently turned down another promotion."

"Why did you do that?" I asked.

He replied, "The duties of the office seemed a little too dishonest. I prefer to do jobs that I can feel good about. In any case, working out of your home has some definite advantages."

"I imagine your home is pretty nice," I said, trying to picture that.

"You mean my condo?" he said. "I never work there."

So, where did he consider home, if not his condo? I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer to that.

"Weren't we going sailing?" Suzumiya asked him.

"Yeah, about that..." he answered. "That was actually my girlfriend's idea. You see? It was her boat."

"Okay," Suzumiya said.

Koizumi then added, "I bumped into an old friend at a restaurant. He had similar problems come up at the last minute. He arranged to sell me his reservations. So, it all worked out."

"Things always seem to work out for you," she observed.

"Yes, I know," he said, sounding annoyed. "It's a bit of a bother."

- x -

By the time we reached our destination, it was starting to rain. I retrieved a couple umbrellas, and then we started on foot toward town for a few blocks, with bags in hand. The car wouldn't be much use to us as we were just going to be traveling across a hillside path to where we were staying.

Before doing that, however, we rendezvoused with the other woman at the bus station. She was, indeed, a very pleasant woman. I would go so far as to say probably the most pleasant woman I've ever seen. In particular, compared to Miss Suzumiya, who was starting to complain quite a bit.

"They didn't say it would rain," she complained.

"They didn't say it wouldn't rain, either," I remarked.

She then asked, "Isn't it a little soon for the rainy season?"

"I don't think so," I said.

"Hello," Koizumi said, greeting Miss Asahina.

"Oh!" she answered, "Hello."

"Glad to see you could make it," he added. "I hope the trip wasn't too eventful."

"Not at all," she said. "I had a wonderful time. Everyone is so helpful."

"That's good to hear," he said.

"These are the others?" she asked, looking around.

"Let me introduce you," he told her, then turning around, himself. "Miss Suzumiya, this is Mikuru Asahina."

"You like to hang around in bars?" Suzumiya asked her.

"Well..." she started to answer.

"Hold on," I said, suddenly having a weird flashback. "I know you."

"You do?" she asked.

"We went to the same high school," I answered. "You were one year ahead of me."

"Oh!" she said. "That's right. I remember, now."

"Wow, really?" Koizumi asked.

I explained, "I remember because my friend Kunikida made a fuss over you for a week, one time."

"Is that so?" she asked.

"Didn't we meet?" I then asked her.

"I..." she answered, nervously glancing at Yuki. "I don't think so. Have we?"

"I'm pretty sure we did," I said, very positive that I was right. It was a brief encounter, but you don't just forget a girl like this.

"In any case," Koizumi continued, "this is Yuki Nagato."

"Oh, hello," Miss Asahina said.

"Nice to meet you," Yuki answered.

"Nice to meet you," Miss Asahina mumbled.

"Jeez," Koizumi complained, looking around at our feet. "I hope this rain lets up. I'd hate to go all this way and not be able to get a decent bath."

"It's an open-air bath?" Suzumiya asked him.

"That's right," he answered.

I then asked, "Are you okay with that, Yuki?"

"I'll be fine," she answered.

"Don't worry about it," Koizumi assured me. "I'm sure they keep the men out of the women's side."

"Oh, thank goodness," Miss Asahina said, looking very relieved.

Koizumi then added, "I'm sure the men are okay, either way."

"Speak for yourself," I said.

Suzumiya laughed and asked me, "You prefer traditional, huh?"

"I just like seeing naked women," I explained.

While Suzumiya continued laughing, Yuki actually rolled her eyes, and Miss Asahina looked a little embarrassed.

"Just kidding," I said. "Yeah, I'm sure they'll have a divider. Don't worry about it."

- x -

The inn we were staying at was really very nice, and it resembled the usual stereotypical inn you would expect to see for this type of scenario. The innkeeper was nice and put us in three rooms right next to each other. Yuki and I had the room in the middle. That left Miss Suzumiya and Miss Asahina with a room in one direction, while Koizumi had a room all to himself. We spent some time looking at the creepy dolls that the owner had put on display near the entrance, then played some ping pong.

It continued raining the whole time, so we then had some tea in my room. I expected Yuki to start smoking, but she only started on a small novel she had carried with us.

"Is she always this way?" Suzumiya asked me.

"No," I answered, "she just gets a little intimidated when there's more than four people in a room. It's kind of like me and my fear of heights."

"Really?" she asked.

I added, "I'd probably go off and read if I weren't already worn out from the trip."

Koizumi cheerfully stated, "It's too rainy to go anywhere. We'll just wait for it to slack off."

"We'll just have to amuse ourselves," Suzumiya decided.

"You have any juicy stories from high school?" I asked.

Suzumiya didn't look too eager to reply to that, and I had the impression that I was not going to get an amusing anecdote on that topic.

Koizumi then suggested, "How about a game? Or is that too cliche?"

"I don't mind," I answered, "but I don't really feel up for it right at the moment."

Koizumi then said, "I don't really have any good stories from high school."

"Really?" I asked. "You never did anything interesting?"

"I was just boring student," he replied. "I can't really think of anything but the usual old stories about athletic events and various festivals. I don't suppose you want to hear something as ordinary as that."

Suzumiya then looked at Miss Asahina and said, "I'm really more interested in this girl. So, she was at your school?"

"Yeah," I answered.

She then asked, "Did she make waves or start any crazy situations?"

I thought for a moment and replied, "Not unless you consider the Calligraphy club to be crazy."

"Calligraphy?" she asked, very astonished.

"It's funny, you know?" I remarked. "The things you can remember from high school. I can't remember what I did two days ago, but I can remember details of conversations I had in high school."

"That's true," Koizumi agreed.

"This sucks," Suzumiya complained. "Nothing interesting ever happens to me."

"Oh?" I said.

"What?" she asked.

I answered, "I think if I were capable of calling myself a god, that might qualify as interesting."

"What's that about?" Koizumi asked me.

Suzumiya corrected, "That's more like annoying as hell."

"What do you mean?" Koizumi asked her.

"I mean," she replied, "people keep trying to kill me. They never quite succeed, but every time I survive, it's like divine intervention. I mean, it's great, but it's really more annoying than interesting that people keep attacking me."

I then pointed out, "And then there's all the work you do for that temple. It is a temple of some kind, right?"

"Well, yeah," she answered. "But it's always the same old boring thing. People want to chat because they're bored or they want some reassurance that they've lived some kind of life they're 'supposed' to live. Or they have some grudge with their parents they want me to straighten out. Or they set me up on some crappy date with a boring guy. I can't deal with it."

"What's all this about being a god?" Koizumi asked again.

"You remember the Christmas incident?" Suzumiya asked him.

"Yeah," he answered.

Suzumiya explained, "That woman attacked me with brass knuckles."

"No kidding?" he asked.

She then added, "And I somehow emerged from that without a scratch. Explain that."

"That is pretty amazing," he admitted.

She then said, "The more I think about it, the more amazed I am that I even survived all that."

"That sounds interesting to me," I said, already speculating again in my mind what it could mean.

She protested, "It isn't interesting when it happens to you."

- x -

We then debated for a while what qualified as interesting. For example, if the world were filled with aliens or time-travelers or espers (like in my novels), that would make the world a much more interesting place. It was just too bad that the world wasn't really like that. Miss Suzumiya was especially annoyed that I could unveil the kind of reality that she wished she could live in, but it was limited to the brief adventures my characters had experienced across four novels.

More than anything, Miss Suzumiya had really wished she could find people like that, and she found it a little uncanny that I could portray a story that so exactly taunted her with that specific scenario. At one point in the conversation, Suzumiya almost seriously accused me of torturing her for my own amusement. It was strangely diverting, but I was then forced to admit that I really had no idea how I had had those ideas. They had just come to me. It sounds a little cliched, but my characters speak to me, and I just write whatever they say. There's nothing magical or mysterious about it. It's just imagination.

Just as this was starting to get a little heated, we finally noticed how the rain was letting up. It was very nice to get out, and we finally got a good look at the surrounding sights. It was especially impressive with the way shafts of light of the afternoon sun beamed down through cracks in the clouds, and we also saw a rainbow.

When it was getting toward evening, we decided to have something to eat. We therefore went into town to see what kind of dining they had to offer. After asking around at some of the local shops, we eventually heard about a small restaurant, and we immediately decided to see what that was like. It turned out that Koizumi knew the owner, so we had no trouble getting a nice table. The decor and the ambiance were kind of shabby, to be blunt, but there was a very intoxicating smell in the air. We awaited our food with eager anticipation.

"So," Suzumiya eventually asked Miss Asahina, "where did you go for college?"

"I..." she answered, "I went abroad."

"That's interesting," Suzumiya remarked. "So, where did you go?"

"I went to Canada," she answered.

Suzumiya then stated, "I always wanted to go to France, myself. I like the food."

"Japanese food isn't bad," Miss Asahina softly commented.

"Yeah," Suzumiya said, "if you like sushi."

"I must agree with Miss Suzumiya," Koizumi said. "The food in Paris is really quite outstanding."

"Are you speaking from experience?" I asked him.

"Well..." he started to answer, hesitant to continue.

"Of course, he is," Suzumiya answered for him.

Koizumi then explained, "I don't like to brag, but I have sampled quite a number of dishes from the local restaurants of various cities around the world."

Suzumiya asked him, "Didn't you give that one restaurant in Helsinki the highest marks?"

"You're probably thinking of Copenhagen," he answered. "And that was before I had really toured Paris."

"Sheesh," I complained. "You're a real world-traveler."

He then evasively stated, "It's not as interesting as you might think."

"It beats what I do for a living," Suzumiya said.

"People are pretty much the same wherever you go," he added.

- x -

After supper, we then returned to the inn, and we visited the baths. Once again, it was very nice. People in stories always comment on how relaxing and calming the experience is, but you can't really understand unless you've actually done it, yourself. Afterward, I was getting changed into my clothes in the changing room, when Koizumi suddenly began a conversation.

"I must confess," he said. "I think I prefer sushi to the finest cheeses I've sampled in France."

"Is that so?" I asked.

"Maybe it's because it's a sentimental thing," he guessed.

I had a brief pause to consider, and I realized that this was the unvarnished truth. What he had related to Miss Suzumiya was just a flattering lie, and he had done so with such smoothness that it had never occurred to me to even wonder whether it had been a lie. Impressive, if you stop and think about it.

"Let me ask you something," I said. "You've known Miss Suzumiya for a long time, right?"

He replied, "Quite a number of years, yes."

"So," I said, "you haven't neglected to notice how desperately poor she is."

He then smoothly added, "I've offered to remedy that, many times. She simply won't permit it. I think she has a lot of pride in herself, so she hardly even speaks to me."

"Really?"

"If I offer her money, she turns it down. If I offered you a substantial gift, and you then attempted to donate it, she would suspect the transaction and refuse it. It's simply the way she is. I'm really amazed at how much she speaks to you."

"You planned this?"

"Had I planned this, I would have carried it out, many years ago. This is all very surprising to me."

"I find it strange that people aren't more generous with her."

"I agree. Then again, it could simply be that she is some kind of deity."

This was surprising. Koizumi was starting to think of Suzumiya as a god? From what I could tell of him, it seemed his opinion of gods in general was something between very mild scorn and well-restrained antipathy. I might imagine him as moderately pantheistic, if religious at all.

"You really think so?" I asked.

"Well," he answered, "think about it. She doesn't seem all that impressive at first glance. She never reveals anything about herself unless she absolutely has to. It takes having just the right feel and timing just to approach a conversation with her. It's almost as if she instinctively knows that people are watching her, waiting for her to slip up and reveal something."

"You realize how crazy that sounds?" I then asked.

He smiled and answered, "I know what you mean. Some guy back in middle school tried to convince me that Miss Suzumiya was a god, but it just seemed like crazy talk, at the time."

"Some guy?" I had to know.

"A man named Shigeru Kida," he replied. "You know him?"

"No," I answered, "but that name is strangely familiar."

- x -

The evening then proceeded into the more normal kind of experience I had been expecting. I spent several hours with Yuki, merely watching TV with her. We hadn't been really alone together for quite some time, and there was a lot of soft chatting between us about nothing. It reminded me of the early years of living with her, very vividly reminding me of my college years. It seemed like such a short time, and I had accomplished so much back then. As lazy as I was, I had had a lot of energy. Lately, it's all I can do just to handle the normal routine.

The next morning, I again found Yuki sitting at the table, smoking. It didn't really bother me, though. I had become preoccupied with my college years, and then I began thinking about middle school and high school.

I softly admitted, "I haven't really thought about school in a while. It's strange."

"Oh?" she prompted.

I explained, "Koizumi mentioned some guy by the name of Shigeru Kida. Why does that name sound familiar?"

"The man who sent you that letter," she answered.

"Oh, right," I said, remembering. "I knew it sounded familiar."

"You have a very unreliable memory," she remarked.

I then completely forgot what I was about to say, astonished at what I saw on Yuki's face.

"What is it?" she asked, seeing my expression.

"You..." I started to answer, pointing at my own face, indicating the tears nearly flowing down from her eyes.

"Oh," she said, still utterly emotionless.

"Is everything okay?" I gently asked.

"I don't know," she coldly admitted. "Why is this?"

"You don't know?" I asked, even more astonished.

"Strange," she said.

I then had these flashes of memory. Saka-chan having all the usual scrapes and hang-ups of growing up. Yuki looking helpless and resigned in the face of a few ordinary crises. I had thought it amusing, at the time. I then started to vividly remember all the times that Yuki had helped Saka-chan with her clothes, or had given her advice on how to deal with problems, or the time Saka-chan had wondered what adoption was and why we had decided to go that route. The reaction Saka-chan had when we opened the cafe. The time we moved in to our current house, and Saka-chan did nothing but run around and around the place.

"I feel strangely weak," Yuki then softly observed.

"I think I know what this is about," I said.

"What?" she asked.

"Saka-chan," I answered.

"Is that...?" she started to ask, but then her face began to fall.

It was brutal, watching her fall apart like this, so I hugged her. She held onto to me, at first a little uncertain, but then she seemed like she really needed me.

I then admitted, "It's not going to be easy, watching her slip through our fingers."

"So this is why..." she started to remark, but then she simply wasn't able to continue.

"I'm right?" I asked.

"Yes, I think so," she softly answered.

I then realized with some amusing horror that I truly was becoming old. I now actually understood something that had always puzzled me.

"Mother said there would be days like this," I said.

"What?" Yuki asked.

I explained, "She told me that you don't really understand what it means to be a parent until you find yourself inexplicably weeping."

"Oh," Yuki said, putting on a brave face again.


	64. Wish You Were Here

- Chapter 4: Wish You Were Here

The next couple days were enjoyable to the extent that I don't remember much about them. I mostly just spent my time relaxing. The rest of it is a blur of chatting with the others, with the friendly innkeepers, with the locals and the tourists. I also spent a good deal of time with Yuki, remembering lots of fun things about the past ten years. For example, I had a recollection of Yuki laughing uncontrollably, and discovering that it had been because Saka-chan had found Yuki to be ticklish. Specifically, her feet are quite sensitive, and I sometimes enjoy torturing her that way.

I was a little disappointed that the rumors of hauntings seemed to be untrue, and the creepy dolls were just ordinary creepy dolls. I think Miss Suzumiya had become more disappointed than me from this eventual realization. It was hard to tell, considering how Miss Suzumiya was becoming somewhat melancholy from all this. I think she was worried and expecting to return to bad news, and all this vacationing wasn't really helping her much. In particular, when I thought about Koizumi and the way things always seem to work out for him, I think Miss Suzumiya was starting to compare her life with Koizumi's adventures and his current situation, and she was becoming depressed at the difference.

In any case, I soon found myself back at home, grateful to be home with the chores and the kid, but just a little wistful about the time I spent away. Yuki definitely loosened up a bit, and Saka-chan got a nice little vacation from the two of us. To judge by how little the refrigerator and the kitchen had changed, I would say that she barely noticed that we were gone. She had settled into a nice groove of particular games she like to play with her friends, so it's hard to imagine that she got too bored.

I was watching the morning news, when I noticed Saka-chan emerge and watch with me. We briefly spoke of how the vacation had gone, and then she informed me of her accomplishments.

"You spent the whole time reading and playing games?" I observed at one point.

"Give me a break," she lightly answered. "You were only gone a few days."

"Sheesh," I complained.

"You never had fun when you were a kid?" she asked.

"I spent my time chasing girls," I replied. "You know that."

"Don't remind me," she muttered, an oddly sour look on her face.

"You don't have a boyfriend, huh?" I guessed.

"That's enough of that," she scolded me. "What's up with that strange woman?"

"Suzumiya?" I answered. "She's probably moving to the neighborhood."

"She is?" Saka-chan asked, almost starting to look serious. "Don't you think she's a total weirdo?"

"She seems pretty cool to me," I answered, starting to feel like the child in this conversation. "I've never seen anyone so mellow."

"Mom told me to stay away from her," Saka-chan added.

"So, have you done your homework?" I asked.

"The dog ate it."

"What? Seriously?"

- x -

She wasn't serious, of course. She just didn't want me thinking too hard about the fact that she had only gotten through about two-thirds of her homework. That was no good, so I decided to try to rectify that. With Saka-chan, you can't just leap straight into working on homework. I've learned over the years that you have to sort of finesse her into it with subtlety. This time around, I tried discussing with her some of the musical bands of the previous ten years. She turned out to be very much into some really old stuff that I dimly remembered from my youth. In fact, I'm pretty sure my parents would call the stuff she was listening to something like "classics" or "oldies." You don't often see the kids into music from the era of the original Star Wars or the first Gundam.

I knew when she started to show some eagerness in explaining the progression of bands of the 1980s that she was ready to get to work, and I prompted her almost right away. Poor Saka-chan. She had almost recognized the pattern in time, but I could tell from the look in her eyes that she had become trapped in my web of excitement enough to push herself through some unpleasant geometry or biology or whatever it was she had left to do. To my credit, I didn't hover and make her do more than an hour's worth. This was enough for now.

That finished, I went to go grab some lunch at the cafe. I would usually settle in with a nice book and a cup of coffee. That would tide me over until supper. I was a little surprised to see Koizumi had decided to visit again, and I sat across from him to chat for a while. It wasn't long before the subject of Suzumiya came up.

"She's gone back to not talking to me," he reported.

"You think something's gone wrong?" I asked.

"I don't know," he answered. "I'd appreciate it if you checked up on her."

"All right," I said.

He then added, "There's also this small manuscript I'd like you to look at, if you don't mind."

"Manuscript?" I wondered, immediately curious what he would come up with.

"I'll just email it to you," he said. "You can tell me what you think."

I chuckled and asked, "You're a writer?"

He admitted, "I find myself thinking these strange, speculative things."

"I don't make any promises," I warned.

He then asked, "I don't suppose I could do you a favor, in return?"

"Okay," I agreed. "How about you let me have your car?"

"You want my car?" he asked, looking a little surprised.

"It's pretty nice," I remarked.

"You know how to drive?" he asked.

I answered, "It's been a few years, but yes. I can drive."

"All right," he said.

"It's just for a month or two," I told him. "You know? Until I get sick of looking cool, driving around in a cool car."

"What's that about?" he wondered.

"Being middle-aged," I explained. "I understand people start having regrets about their lives. You get any of that?"

"I don't think so," he replied.

I then asked, "So, what do people do when they're middle-aged?"

He thought for a moment and then replied, "They might have some kind of crazy hobby they never had the inclination to try before. Some people start dressing up or talking like the way they think teenagers do."

"That explains a lot of crazy fads," I remarked.

He continued, "Some people decide that they can't handle living where they are and move somewhere else."

"I notice you don't mention the really notorious one," I pointed out, just for the sake of completeness.

He smiled and answered, "Some men decide to have a fling, yes. That isn't what you're thinking about, is it?"

I replied, "Yuki might forgive me, but Saka-chan would never look at me again, if I did something like that."

"A fast car is probably the way to go," he remarked.

"I agree," I immediately stated.

- x -

So, now I was in possession of a nice little sporty car. It was kind of boxy and it had four doors, but it was still very easy on the eyes. Plus, when I pushed the accelerator, it lurched forward like I had fired up rockets behind me. I found myself coaxing the pedals to get what I wanted. From that point, it was a real pleasure. I offered Saka-chan a ride and then returned home for my laptop. I dropped off Saka-chan and then went to get permission to hang out with Suzumiya again from Yuki. Again, Yuki was oddly casual about the whole thing, though I was almost certain that she was jealous. She certainly should have been jealous, and she had every right to be. I again invited her to come along, and she again declined saying that she would be busy.

When I arrived at Suzumiya's compound, I had a moment to think. Koizumi had been quick to dismiss the thought of him having any middle-aged regrets. If anyone had regrets, it was surely Koizumi. Him denying it as smoothly as he did only confirmed it in my mind. Of course, this surely had something to do with Miss Suzumiya and their sudden break-up back in high school. Suzumiya always avoided the subject, though it didn't seem like something she held a strong enough grudge about to completely avoid Koizumi. It was just something strong enough that she would avoid speaking to him in times when things might be getting a little tricky.

I was just about to go inside to see what was what when Miss Suzumiya appeared, briskly strolling over to the car. I smoothly got out and gave a short wave of greeting to her.

"This is a little flashy," she observed.

"It's pretty cool, right?" I inquired.

She then asked, "Aren't you a married man with a family?"

"I sure am," I answered, smiling broadly.

"And?" she prompted.

I explained, "I asked specifically about this sort of thing, and I got permission."

"That's even worse," she softly remarked.

"Don't get the wrong idea," I told her. "I'm just a very friendly sort of person. I'm not even looking for some kind of romantic angle on all this. This is just about you, me, and Koizumi's car."

"You mean your car," she corrected.

"Ha!" I said, realizing that this was basically true for now.

"All right," she said. "But I get to drive."

"Yeah," I said, "that's more like it."

Suzumiya then climbed in, and I got in on the passenger side.

"So," she asked, "Saka-chan did her homework?"

I answered, "With a little help from me, of course."

"Not too much, I hope," she said, glancing sternly at me.

"Are you kidding?" I answered. "I'm a big believer in having a delicate touch with that sort of thing."

"How does that work?" she asked.

I replied, "If you're doing it right, it's like they're not sure you've done anything at all."

She snidely remarked, "In your case, I'm willing to believe you actually did nothing at all."

I protested, "That's a little unfair, but possibly true."

"Damn," she complained. "Koizumi has always had good taste in cars."

I said, "I figured he did after bragging about all those fine restaurants."

- x -

Suzumiya then put on her glasses and raced the car out toward the highway. I had the impression she was in a tremendous hurry, and she slammed on the brakes at every slow obstacle in our way (usually muttering some curse under her breath). Once we got onto the highway, we began to flow with the traffic pretty smoothly.

"So, where are we headed?" I asked.

"The beach," she answered. "I haven't been there in a while. You okay with that?"

"Fine with me," I said.

"Should we pick up the wife and the kid?" she asked.

I replied, "They're busy doing mother and daughter type stuff. I didn't want to interrupt. You know, after Yuki poured her heart out to me during our little trip, it kind of made me realize how little of that she'd done with Saka-chan."

"I see," she said.

I added, "I never really got along with the cool kids in high school. Well, except for my girlfriend, of course."

"Is that how you see me?" Suzumiya asked, glancing at me.

"Well..." I started.

"Wait," she interrupted. "Your girlfriend in high school was cool?"

"Definitely," I answered. "She could have been on the cover of a fashion magazine."

"Why did she settle for a guy like you?"

"You're asking me?"

"That is so wrong."

"No need to be cruel about it. It just happened. Anyway, it's ancient history."

Miss Suzumiya seemed to be okay with that, and she looked like she was slowly absorbing this information. About a minute went by, and she then sighed.

"I was absolutely not cool in high school," she stated.

"Really?" I asked, finding that hard to believe.

"Really," she insisted.

I then asked, "You weren't in some athletic club? A music club? Photography?"

"No," she answered.

"What did you do?" I asked.

"I was myself," she answered.

I interpreted, "You mean, you were in the go-home club. That seems like a waste."

"I had other interests," she explained. "I was a real spaz in those days."

"That's hard to imagine," I admitted.

"It's true," she said.

I then reached into the back seat and took out my laptop.

"What's that?" she asked.

I then said, "This is going to take a while, right? I thought I'd look at this novella Koizumi sent me."

"Jeez," she complained. "He's a writer, too?"

"I guess so," I answered.

"I can already tell you what to think of it," she said.

"Oh?" I prompted, just then finding the document.

"It stinks," she answered.

"That seems a little premature to me," I stated, starting to look at the work.

"You think so?" she asked.

I looked up and answered, "I haven't even read it, yet."

She then started, "Look, it's really simple. You're a writer."

"Yeah," I said.

She explained, "Writing is a very lonely, miserable line of work. Competition just makes you all the more isolated from your fans. Any chance to improve the acknowledgement you can get from your fans is something you need to jump at. Giving your competition a free ride is just increasing the chances of that not happening."

"I didn't exactly offer my services for free," I pointed out.

"I see," she said.

I then added, "I'm not the self-centered firebrand I used to be. A little competition is a healthy thing, I think."

She then added, "But here's the thing: Suppose you're just wasting your time. You read it, and you think, 'Wow. Why did I bother to start reading this crap?'"

"I highly doubt that'll happen," I said.

She remarked, "That's really your best-case scenario, though. The alternative is that you read it and you find yourself really impressed with it."

I admitted, "I am kind of dreading that, yes."

She explained, "You'll find yourself thinking that it stinks because you'll wish you had thought of it, first."

"Maybe so," I said, "but I often find myself thinking that, anyway."

"Really?" she asked.

I answered, "I can't let it get me down. Especially when I'm on my way to the beach."

Suzumiya then scowled and gripped the steering wheel like she was upset.

"What?" I asked.

She answered, "Koizumi can hit the beach whenever he wants. It kind of pisses me off."

- x -

A couple hours later, we were finally at the beach. Suzumiya and I took some time, wading through all the people to get to the sand. Even there, everywhere we looked were people.

"Wow," I observed. "It's really crowded."

She explained, "Well, it is still Golden Week."

"Now what?" I asked.

"Let's take a walk," she suggested.

- x -

We walked for about ten minutes along the shoreline until the people began to thin out to a more normal density. It was nice to get away from the crowd and the noise, and the only odd smell was the more ordinary smell of the ocean itself.

"So," she asked, "what did you think of that novella?"

"It stinks," I answered.

I was tempted to leave it at that, but that wouldn't have been a fair assessment. And anyway, it suddenly made a lot more sense as a joke.

"Just kidding," I amended. "Actually, it wasn't bad for a complete amateur."

"So, it was good?" she asked.

I replied, "Pretty below average, actually. I was kind of disappointed."

"Oh," she remarked, looking suddenly cheerful. "So, you liked it."

"That's a mighty cynical attitude you have," I observed.

"Writing is fierce competition," she insisted.

I then added, "I would say that he has a lot of room for improvement."

"Go ahead and tell him that," she said. "Kill him off with kindness."

"I don't think so," I answered that.

"Man," she complained. "I'm so glad I didn't choose to become a writer."

"You really should," I said, "though I think you would do best writing an autobiography."

"I don't know," she said. "I wouldn't want to bore my readers to death."

I then told her, "Your life is pretty eventful, from what you've told me."

"You think so?" she asked.

"Definitely," I answered.

"You like that word, don't you?" she asked.

"Definitely," I answered.

"Okay," she said, "I think I will. In fact, we can have a competition."

"What kind?" I asked.

She answered, "Let's see which one of us writes the better autobiography."

"You like competing, huh?"

"Isn't life more interesting that way?"

"I guess so."

"I have to admit, there are times I really hate it."

- x -

We then found a place and sat, watching the clouds and the sky and the ocean. I then closed my eyes and let my mind wander. What could make me really hate competition? Maybe if my life depended on it... No, that would just make it more exciting. Maybe if there was money involved... No, I don't really care about money. Maybe if...

I then pictured how Suzumiya might have looked, hanging around with a guy like Koizumi in high school. A really cute couple, right? She might deny it, but I'm thinking that people thought she was cool back then. Especially a guy like Koizumi. He would definitely find her to be cool, at first glance. There was no chance that he would ever get serious with her, though. She might spaz out and get upset, but I doubt she would ever even get to the part where they could reasonably expect to hold hands.

Maybe what happened is Koizumi suddenly started looking at Asakura. I could see that. Asakura was much more his type, and Suzumiya would really hate having to compete with a girl like that. That would explain why she suddenly shut up about it whenever I broached the subject, and it would explain why she suddenly gives him the cold shoulder every now and then. She simply hasn't forgiven him for it. But then, why on Earth did he break up with Asakura? That's the part that doesn't make any sense. Well, that and Asakura is like Suzumiya's go to woman for any situation that arises. Suzumiya doesn't seem to have any animosity toward Asakura. Weird. Maybe they had been friends before Koizumi got involved, but I had the suspicion that that would have just made it worse.

"I love the beach," she suddenly stated, "don't you?"

I opened my eyes and remarked, "I haven't been to the beach in over ten years. It's really nostalgic for me."

"Wow," she said. "Why so long?"

I answered, "I think Yuki has some kind of weird aversion. Any time I suggest it, she always makes some other suggestion or changes the subject."

"Any idea why?" she asked.

"No," I answered.

- x -

I drove on the way back, and I found the monotony of driving was good for thinking, though my thoughts kept returning to Suzumiya and her high school disappointment. My mind had fixated on it, and I had the uneasy impression that there was simple explanation, though I couldn't see it. Eventually, I began thinking about my own high school experience, and I noticed a sudden gap in my memory. At first, I was having trouble identifying what the gap was.

Suzumiya asked me, "You remember Mikuru from high school, right?"

"Yeah," I said, immediately thinking of Mikuru Asahina. I suspected that this silly name was not her real name, though I had no idea why she would assume an alias for so long. It suddenly became a little worrisome.

"Was she always such a blockhead?" Suzumiya then asked.

"I don't know how," I answered, "but I feel like I should strongly agree."

"Why?" she asked. "Did something happen?"

"I don't know," I replied. "I'm almost positive something did, but I can't remember it. Strange. I can remember everything else from high school."

That was the gap I had been trying to locate. Something to do with Mikuru Asahina. And, now that I really thought about it, I could remember it was that first July the seventh. I remember because my mother insisted on observing some Tanabata tradition on that same day, and I immediately had begun hoping that nothing else would go seriously wrong (though I couldn't remember why I had thought that).

Suzumiya sighed and remarked, "There are a few things I wish I could forget."

"Like what?" I asked.

She predictably answered, "Like why I suddenly broke up with my boyfriend. Just as an example, of course."

"I see," I said, wondering why she had emphasized the word "suddenly." It fit a little too comfortably with my hypothesis, though I was still struggling to find any evidence of it.

"What was I thinking?" she softly scolded herself. "Romance is such a huge pain in the ass."

"You think so?" I asked her.

She then snidely guessed, "I suppose you think differently."

"Of course, I do," I casually answered. "I've been married for almost fifteen years."

"What difference does that make?" she asked.

"It makes a lot of difference," I answered. "Trust me."

"Like what?" she insisted on knowing.

I wasn't sure I should explain, but then I went ahead. Why not? It's not like she's young and naive. "Well," I said, "for example, you start to think of how overrated sex is."

"Overrated?" she prompted.

I explained, "I've always lived a really messed-up life, so I've never really thought of action as fun or interesting."

"Right," she said.

I continued, "Yuki is... She's very dear to me, but she is a tiger in the sack. I'm starting to have to pace myself, and I never thought I'd have to do that."

"I'm starting to understand," Suzumiya said.

"Yeah..." I said. "So, for me, romance is what I value over everything. I can't just dismiss it like it's nothing."

"Must be nice," she remarked.

I thought for a moment and admitted, "Yeah, it is."

"Oh my god," she said. "Now, I'm getting depressed."

"Sorry," I said.

"Never mind," she gently stated. "It was my fault for bringing it up."

- x -

I had some trouble sleeping that night. Something kept nagging me in the back of my mind, waking me up with a feeling of weird rage. It immediately went away the moment I opened my eyes, but I definitely had the distinct impression that something was wrong. The really weird thing is that I had the persistent idea that it was coming from that novella Koizumi had made me read. It was weird because the story had been a very nice, very neat story that you wouldn't assume would fill someone with unaccountable rage. It didn't help that I noticed Yuki smoking a little more than usual.

The next morning, I settled into a nice slouch at the sofa while watching TV. I think there was a soap opera on. I don't remember. I just needed to clear my head. Saka-chan was all done with her homework at this point, so she just looked at me with a somewhat sullen look on her face.

"I'm bored," she complained.

"Then go do something fun," I suggested.

"Mom said to bug you," she responded.

So much for the mother-daughter thing. I wondered what was up with Yuki, but then this wasn't altogether unusual, lately.

Saka-chan then asked, "We have any of those sodas? I liked those."

"You shouldn't eat just because you're bored," I lightly scolded her.

We'd brought back a twenty-four pack of sodas from the trip, and I couldn't help noticing how quickly they were getting downed.

"And, no," I added. "I don't think there's any left."

"Why are you lying around?" she complained. "You've been sleeping all day."

"Yeah," I answered, "but I was up making bookshelves all evening."

"It wasn't because you spent the day at the beach?" she asked.

I remarked, "The beach was very nice."

"Jeez," she complained, frowning.

"Sorry," I said, "but you were having fun, right?"

"With my friends," she added.

"You weren't with your mom?" I asked.

"My friends like her," she answered. "I don't know why."

I observed, "So, you had a lot of fun, anyway?"

"Yeah..." she answered. "But now, I'm bored."

I got up and looked around. "What time is it?"

- x -

It was somehow noon again, so I went to the cafe to get my daily coffee with a nice book. I noticed Koizumi waiting at a table, looking like he was expecting something from me.

"So?" he prompted, as I sat across from him with my coffee.

"I like the characters," I admitted. "They're very compelling. They really grab you."

"What did you think of the story?" he asked.

"It's a school setting," I complained. "Don't you think that's a little too ordinary?"

He replied, "Not for school age characters."

"I know," I said, "but everyone and their dog writes stories about school and the entanglements of education."

"You don't think it's interesting?" he asked.

I answered, "Maybe it would go over in France, but this is Japan. The whole school-this school-that storyline is played out. It's basically all been done to death."

He sighed and then said, "I suppose I could stand a change of setting. How about something set in a college?"

"It's not a bad idea," I admitted, "but that's just trading one school setting for another. Plus, people expect the characters to be more interesting. It actually combines the monotony of the school setting with more demanding expectations for your characters."

"Maybe I'm relying on formula too much," he admitted.

"You're probably overthinking it," I said. "You work in a corporate environment, right?"

"Yeah," he answered.

"So," I said, "write about that. Maybe a story about a guy and his girlfriend..."

He smiled and said, "I see where you're going with this, and I might be tempted. I don't know how good an idea it would be."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Okay, well..." he answered, thinking for a moment. "Here's a sample of a story I might write, if I were to choose such a risky method of writing."

"Okay," I prompted.

He then said, "Mr. A goes and finds himself in trouble with a certain illegal organization. He decides to do security work at a certain charity. He then gets murdered or killed by accident. It isn't entirely clear what happened. Now, Ms. B decides to look into the matter because she's secretly a member of this illegal organization. Mr. C is dating Ms. B, completely unaware of any of this."

"Okay," I said, making some relevant mental notes.

He continued, "Ms. B hires Mr. D to keep a watch on Ms. E to see if they can find any clues to what happened to Mr. A. Mr. D then turns around and subcontracts out Ms. F and Ms. G to look into the matter, as well. You following all this?"

"I think so," I said, making some slight revisions to my notes.

He then plunged ahead, "Now, it then turns out that Mr. D thinks that dating Ms. E might be a good move on his part, but that doesn't really help him. Ms. F delivers certain information, but then reveals herself to the media in some kind of disguise. She gets the attention she needs to distract the organization away from Ms. E, but then that just draws the attention of the organization toward Mr. D. Mr. C finds all this information, plus he suspects that Ms. B is Mr. A's killer. He isn't sure whether it was murder, and in any case, he isn't sure whether he wants the illegal organization to be worried about him."

"Sheesh," I said, barely clinging to my notes and my revisions.

He then added, "Here's where it starts to get really good, though. You see, Ms. E and Ms. F are old friends of Mr. C, and there's this whole side story involving Mr. H. You starting to get the idea?"

"That sounds a little complicated," I admitted, making a few key connections in my notes.

He then asked, "You think Mr. H would really want Mr. C telling the world a story like this?"

I answered, "It's probably better if you stick with a school setting."

"You see?" he said. "That's what I thought."

Saka-chan then beckoned to me from the back room, and I went to see what she wanted. Koizumi followed, keeping a respectful distance.

"Hey, Kyon," she said. "Help me out, would you? Those things are heavy."

"More bookshelves?" Koizumi asked.

I explained, "We're replacing a few of the older ones in the back room. You want to check it out?"

He answered, "I think I should get going. It's starting to get a little late for me."

- x -

Once I was done sorting out shelves in the back room, I decided to go do my usual stroll through the park. There wasn't anything else I could do other than get in the way, and I began to think that I was neglecting to really analyze Koizumi's story the way I really should have. The clouds were racing by in a particularly picturesque way, and almost no one else was there at the hill side.

That revised "story" was particularly interesting. A possible mob hit ends up becoming a detective story, where said detective hires another detective, and possibly hands over his findings right back to the mob. There's a side story about an innocent bystander or two getting involved, and the detective's detective using a disguise to exploit the media. This all sounded disturbingly familiar, especially when you consider how most of these people all know each other.

The novella had been a lively story about a pretty girl who took a lot of pride in the nice bike she rode every day. This other geeky girl then appeared and became jealous, so she stole the bike. She quickly grew bored with the bike, however, and slashed the tires, leaving it in front of the pretty girl's house. The pretty girl was so horrified at all this that she hid the bike away and never rode it again. It's a better story than it sounds.

In any case, I was starting to grasp the symbolism, becoming a little disgusted with myself that it took so long. I then smirked at myself. What was all that outrage last night, then? It was nothing. Just as I began to think this way, along came Ryoko Asakura. She almost seemed surprised to see me.

"Miss Suzumiya told me you would be up here," she greeted me.

"Miss Asakura?" I asked.

"That's right," she answered, stopping and looking around. "Oh! Nice view from here."

"Yeah," I agreed, "this is really nice."

"Isn't it?" she said.

I added, "I like to take picnics up here, every now and then."

"So, I've heard," she said.

"Was there something you wanted?" I asked.

"Nothing, really," she answered. "I just thought you might be interested to know."

"About what?" I asked.

She made an uncertain gesture and then sat next to me. "Miss Suzumiya seems like she really hates you. It's amazing. You didn't really do anything wrong, either."

I guessed, "It was the remark about sex, right?"

"I don't think so," she answered.

"She told you about that?" I asked.

She smirked and replied, "I hear about everything. It's impossible to hide anything from me. Trust me on that."

"So, why?" I asked.

She answered, "I think she sees you as her last hope for a generous windfall."

"Okay," I said. "Aren't there other people who can help her out? I thought she had some kind of deal going through."

"She did," Asakura informed me, "but things fell apart. That's the way it goes when you don't have divine intervention."

"So, she's broke?" I wondered.

Asakura added, "She has some emergency funds, but I doubt that'll last more than a week or two. She won't accept money from anyone but you. She's kind of funny that way."

"Why?" I asked again.

"I don't know," she answered. "It just seems like she expects too much from you, if you ask me."

"Okay, that's bizarre," I softly remarked, very puzzled.

"You sure you can't help her out?" Asakura casually pleaded.

"It's not up to me," I replied. "I don't know what I can do."

She looked very doubtful at all this, and I could sense a growing amazement in her face, as I searched my memory for some clue for what she was hinting at.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, just a little irritated.

"You're really amazing," she answered. "You know that?"

"What?" I said, now drawing a complete blank.

She very sincerely added, "I'm not being glib or sarcastic. I truly am in awe. I really have to tip my hat to you. I thought you would lay your cards on the table, years ago. You must have a lot of serious inner strength."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, getting seriously annoyed.

"You don't know?" she asked.

"Honestly," I said. "I have no idea."

"Oh, well," she softly muttered. "Maybe in the next life."


	65. Your Possible Pasts

- Chapter 5: Your Possible Pasts

That evening was a very pleasant one, and I slept very well that night. For the first time in quite a while, I felt like things were getting a little too routine. It was finally the perfect time to start thinking about what to do with the Kozeki space comedy. There were still a few other issues that could get in the way, though. Maybe I could get some inspiration from all this. Who knows? I'm the kind of guy who likes to let inspiration come to him. And, starting now, I was content to simply stop and wait for it.

The next morning, I awoke feeling a little out of sorts, and I was starting to feel bad about Miss Suzumiya. Did she really hate me? Was it my fault that things weren't working out for her? That didn't make a whole lot of sense, but I guess I couldn't blame her if she wanted to take it out on me. It might have been my fault, considering how she might have neglected her duties a little too much at some instigation from me. I really did feel bad about it, and I wondered if there was something I could do. If she really expected me to be the only one who could help her, it was imperative that I do something. But what?

After breakfast, I fed the dog and played fetch for a while. The dog likes that. I think I don't really feel like I'm awake until I've had a chance to commune with the dog. Somehow, a delightfully playful and unconditionally affectionate pet can make everything make sense. This curious phenomenon would come crashing down around you, however, if you were living in some kind of lie. A dog would suddenly become an annoying chore that could only serve to mock your attempts to make sense out of life. I wasn't sure how, but I felt like I was dangerously close to living a lie, and the worst thing is that I didn't even know what the lie was.

I had spent many years writing works of fiction, but that isn't the same as living a lie. A story that you acknowledge up front is fiction that is decidedly not true is really just a way to toy with your own mind. And when you share it with others, you not only surprise and delight your readers, you may actually help them understand the meaning of illusion, which can only serve to truly bring about progress in the world. If nothing else, you can help prevent people from becoming bored, and that has to be a good thing.

I noticed it was starting to get a little rainy, so I took an umbrella with me to the cafe. The cafe wasn't getting anything in the way of business, so it wasn't surprising to see Yuki sitting off in a secluded corner, reading all by herself. I went to the table and immediately sat across from her.

"You really like to read?"

"Yes."

"Haven't you already read that book?"

"Yes."

"It must be really fun to read."

"It is."

"I would have thought we'd get customers. I mean, we usually do when it rains."

"It's still early."

"I suppose so."

"It is also still Golden Week."

"Also true."

I spent a few moments, just staring at her face. How long had it been since she had become really upset with me? Five years? Ten years? I wasn't sure. I know she had, several times in the past. She was becoming more creative and articulate with her complaints, her insults, her threats. She could become truly intimidating at times, if she really wanted to be. I wondered if this morning was going to become one of those mornings. A pity. And it was all so nice to begin with. I just couldn't stand the thought of living a lie.

"You are preparing to ask me a serious question."

"Tell me, did you enjoy seducing Koizumi in high school?"

"Yes."

That was shocking, to say the least. I had been expecting her to look bewildered or angry or upset, but this instant acknowledgement was like an epic story in itself of implied meaning.

"Was it fun?" I asked, as casual as I could.

"It was," she answered.

"It was just a fling, though," I guessed. "Am I right?"

She explained, "My thoughts were wild and confused. I am myself, now."

"That's good to know," I said. "Are you upset that I know?"

"Are you?" she asked, looking up at me, finally.

"No," I answered, smiling very sincerely. I just wanted to stop lying to myself. Somehow, the thought that I could do that had been nagging at the back of my mind, and it was good to get beyond that.

She softly admitted, "It's a relief to hear you say that."

"Well..." I said, thinking for a moment. "That was just the first question."

"What else do you want to know?" she asked.

I then asked, "How much can you tell me about yourself?"

"I would never lie to you," she answered.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes," she said.

"Are you the Harlequin?" I ventured.

"How did you deduce that?" she asked.

"I just want to know," I answered.

It didn't matter, of course. There was a kind of confession in her earlier reaction, but she thought for a moment and then admitted, "Yes, I am."

I explained, "It was in something Koizumi told me. I just surmised that he meant you."

More like, I guessed and I just happened to be right. I think Yuki was still a little startled that I could guess something like that. It didn't take much imagination to picture her as Harlequin. She was about the right height, and they shared some telling mannerisms.

"I was just curious," I added. "I mean, I think it's pretty cool. You could have told me."

"You never asked," she said.

I then casually asked, "Isn't it nice to clear the air like this?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Does Saka-chan know?" I asked.

"No," she answered.

"I guess she really wouldn't care," I remarked.

"It's better for her that she doesn't know," Yuki stated. "At least, for now."

"Yeah," I said, "I agree."

She explained, "This world is not as open and accepting as you."

I then remarked, "Everything in good time, I always say."

"You do?" she asked.

I replied, "Starting now, anyway."

"What brought you to this decision?" she asked.

I answered, "I had an interesting encounter with Miss Asakura, yesterday evening."

"Her statements puzzled you."

"Yes, they did."

"She has a habit of doing that."

"You know her?"

"We have known each other since high school."

"Should have seen that coming."

Yuki then set down her book and firmly looked up at me. She then adjusted her glasses, showing me some weirdly expectant expression on her face. She then added, "I know things about her that she does not know herself."

"Interesting," I commented.

"Yes," she prompted.

"She thinks I'm hiding something from her," I explained.

"Yes," she said, briefly looking down.

I added, "And provoking me about Miss Suzumiya is supposed to make me reveal something?"

"She seems to believe that," Yuki answered.

I then had strange thought: "She paid me a very generous compliment, too. Does she truly admire me?"

"I think so," Yuki answered, very calm and businesslike.

I couldn't help but laugh at that reaction. "And you don't feel threatened?"

"Should I?" she asked, looking a little confused.

I explained, "A strange and beautiful woman compliments me, and you show no reaction."

"I believe I can trust you," she stated.

And, once again, I felt like a terrible husband. I know. I'm a little too neurotic for my own good. It's just the way I am.

"What?" she asked.

I said, "I've always felt indebted to you. You know that?"

"Why is that?" she asked.

I answered, "You shower me with such a great wealth of feeling. I didn't earn it, did I?"

"Should you have?" she asked. "I'm not being presumptuous, am I?"

"No," I answered. "I guess it's just the way you are, huh?"

"Perhaps," she answered.

I then asked, "Is Miss Asakura right about me?"

"On what topic?" she asked.

"Whatever it is she thinks I'm hiding," I replied. "Should I be worried about myself?"

She answered, "Don't worry. She is incorrect."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"You have proven yourself to my satisfaction," she answered.

I softly remarked, "I doubt that, but okay."

Yuki looked like she had something she wanted to say, then stopped and changed her mind. A very odd moment here. Something vague and unexplained had just been resolved, so just go ahead and let sleeping dogs lie, right?

"Everything in good time," I added.

"Yes," she pretty much confirmed what I had been thinking.

One thing still bothered me, though. "I don't suppose there's a way I can help Miss Suzumiya, is there?"

"You can read that letter," she suggested.

"Letter?" I asked, drawing a blank.

"The one with the puzzling message," she answered.

"Oh," I said, suddenly remembering. "Right. I forgot all about that."

- x -

I then returned home and went rummaging through some old boxes I hadn't looked at in a long time. I dimly recalled receiving this rather large, thick atlas in the mail about seven years ago from an anonymous fan. It had been around the time of the Kozeki space comedy radio show's height of popularity, so I had been getting lots of weird books in the mail from fans.

I brought it out of the storage space and carried it into the living room, getting ready to confirm my suspicions about it. Saka-chan took one look at it, and she seemed very surprised.

"Whoa," she said. "What's that?"

"Chubb's tomb," I answered. "I finally got around to finding it."

"You sure?" she asked. "Looks like a normal book."

"Yeah," I answered. "I found this with all the rest of the oversized books."

I then blew the dust off the cover and opened it. As I suspected, it was just a small diversion safe, and I had never bothered to notice.

"Dusty," she observed.

"Blast from the past," I said, examining the face of the safe. "One of those old tumbler style locks."

She then said, "I thought the location of this thing was hidden in the clues of that weird puzzle."

"Hmm?" I asked. "You still have that letter?"

"Hold on," she said, going upstairs to her room. "Let me go get it."

I didn't think it really mattered. What we needed to find was how to open this thing, and I doubted the letter would help with that.

I softly observed, "This thing is a lot lighter than it looks. Plus, it didn't make any funny noises when I shook it."

"Found it!" came Saka-chan's voice from her room. My first thought was: So quick! Yeah. Saka-chan's room is pretty messy.

"Strange," I muttered, wondering what this was all about.

Saka-chan then appeared, descending down the stairs with the letter in hand.

She remarked, "I didn't notice anything unusual about the puzzle. It's just really weird."

"What does it say?" I asked.

"Let's see..." she said, looking at the letter. "'Beyond the man whose heart gives way, beyond the woman in the mask, through forest and hills and waterfalls, through fallen dreams and hopes, among realized fears, lies the land of regret, the ways of reflection, and the long-avoided landscape. Discover what you may and then search what has already been found.'"

"Are you kidding me?" I asked.

"No," she answered, "that's exactly what it says. Weird, right?"

I took the letter and read it for myself. I then realized, "This isn't a location in space. This is a location in time. And that time..."

"I see," she said.

I then noted, "I don't see how it helps, though."

"You have that book?" she asked.

"Huh?" I said, suddenly remembering. "Oh..."

I had been reading "Empires" on and off in this very room and leaving it on a nearby coffee table since I had gotten it. It never would have occurred to me that there might have been some clue hidden in the book itself.

"Maybe there's a clue in that book," she said.

I then flipped through it, discovering one thing that was interesting.

"Oh, I see," I said. "It's this bookmark. See?"

She took it and observed, "These numbers are the combination."

"Freaky," I complained. "What should we do?"

She then gaped at me for a moment and said, "Open it. Duh."

"Okay..."

- x -

Saka-chan and I then went to Suzumiya's compound with our newly-discovered treasure. We both agreed that this was something akin to divine intervention, and you don't question or mess around with things like that. When we entered, we found Suzumiya teaching the kids some kind of hand language. There was a silent exchange between her and one of the kids, and then some scattered laughter broke out.

"Oh, you like that, huh?" she said. She then looked up and noticed us entering. "It looks like we have some visitors, so I'll be right back. Don't get into trouble, kids."

I gently protested, "You didn't really need to stop on our account."

"That's okay," she said. "I was hoping for an excuse to take a break."

Saka-chan then asked, "You do this sort of thing every day?"

Suzumiya answered, "Just on days when my help doesn't show up. I don't suppose you know what happened to Ryoko Asakura?"

"No idea," I answered. "I spoke to her, yesterday. She didn't tell me she was planning anything for today."

"It doesn't matter," she said. "The whole operation is going under. I don't suppose she told you about that."

I answered, "Just that you were in some kind of financial difficulty."

"No," she said, "there's no difficulty at all. I'm pretty much done. Another couple days, and it's back to living on charity."

"I see," I said.

"What brings you guys here?" she asked.

I answered, "Well, I was sent this, and I really thought you should have it. Saka-chan?"

Saka-chan handed her a small bag. "Here," she said.

I explained, "This just fell into my lap, and it seemed like you really needed it more than us."

"You sure?" Suzumiya asked.

"Just take it," Saka-chan told her. "You know you need it."

"Well, if you insist," Suzumiya said. She looked in the bag and was shocked. "Is this a joke?" she asked.

"What?" I said.

"These aren't real, are they?" she asked, a little dumbfounded.

Saka-chan then smoothly remarked, "That would have to be a pretty sick joke for them to be fake."

"Somehow," I said, "I doubt it's fake."

"Oh my god," Suzumiya said. "This is real, isn't it?"

"Only one way to find out," I said.

"Who did this come from?" she asked.

Saka-chan answered, "Some guy named Shigeru Kida?"

"Yeah," I said, "that's the name."

Suzumiya then had a look like she had seen a ghost. It was pretty obvious that she recognized the name.

I guessed, "Some guy you knew in high school, right?"

"Yeah," she answered, still looking very stunned.

"I told you," I said to Saka-chan. "It's like a running gag."

"Sheesh," she complained.

"Well," I said, "we should get out of here before your mom starts to get worried."

"Hold on," Suzumiya demanded.

"What?" I asked.

"I..." she started to say. She then took a deep breath and said, "Thank you."

"Huh?" I answered. "Nah. Forget about it. Like I said, it fell in my lap."

Saka-chan then glared at me while she added, "What he means to say is you're welcome."

"Yeah..." I said, just a little intimidated by that glare.

- x -

Saka-chan and I then returned to the car, and just as I was about to start it up, I thought for a moment about all this.

"What did I tell you?" I asked. "She's pretty cool, don't you think?"

Saka-chan then had a strange scowl on her face. Was she becoming serious? That couldn't be right.

"What?" I asked.

"I don't know," she answered. "I think Mom is way cooler."

"You kids..." I scoffed.

- x -

We then returned to the cafe. Saka-chan didn't have anything better to do, so she just tagged along with me. I then sat at a table while she browsed through the books. I became engrossed in the book I was reading for quite some time until I looked up and noticed Saka-chan sitting across from me.

"Don't you have friends?" I asked.

"They're all busy doing their homework," she replied.

I laughed, thinking about how familiar this scenario was. I had often saved my homework for the last possible minute when I was young. I then asked, "Aren't you glad you've already finished?"

"Yeah," she answered, "but now I'm bored."

I suggested, "You could help out your friends, you know...?"

"Yeah, right," she answered.

"I should know better than to suggest that," I told myself.

"Sheesh," she complained. "I wish it would stop raining."

I looked out the shop window. "It's still raining?"

"It's like you're in a whole other world," she then complained.

"Right," I said, looking around the shop. "What happened to your mother?"

"Last I checked," she answered, "she was up on that hill."

"Weird," I commented. "I wonder what that's about."

"I don't know," she said, "but I saw Miss Suzumiya go up there, too."

"Probably just having a friendly chat," I guessed.

Saka-chan then briefly gave me a skeptical look. Friendly chat. Yeah, right. Because adults frequently enjoy chatting in the rain.

"Aren't you in the literature club?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

I then suggested, "So, you could probably stand to read a bit more."

She answered, "I think I'm already getting plenty of that in the club."

"I thought you said you liked to read," I recalled.

"Yeah," she answered, "but not all the time. You guys are like freaks of nature."

- Fin

- x -

- Extra

- The Deity Problem

Kyon and Yuki, sitting at the hill side.

Kyon: Whatever happened to Ryoko Asakura?

Yuki: She moved to Canada.

Kyon: Oh.

Yuki: She is no longer needed here.

Kyon: That's reassuring. I just wish I had some idea what she had been talking about.

Yuki: She believed you were a deity.

Kyon: She what?

Yuki: It's true.

Kyon: I don't get it. If I were a deity, wouldn't I just...?

Yuki: She assumed that you were using Suzumiya as a proxy to avoid detection.

Kyon: So, that's no longer a problem? I mean, we just proved that I'm not a deity, right?

Yuki: How does one prove that they are not a deity?

Kyon: ...

Yuki: Asakura will persist in her beliefs until she chooses otherwise. I can do nothing to change that.

Kyon: Well, she did do one good thing for me. She showed me who Harlequin really was.

Yuki: She did?

Kyon: She pointed you out to me on the news.

Yuki: Interesting.

Kyon: Don't worry about it. I can keep your identity secret.

Yuki: Why would you do that?

Kyon: Well... Aren't you worried about people bothering you about it, outside of what you do as...?

Yuki: I only concealed my identity from you and Saka-chan.

Kyon: So, it's okay if people know?

Yuki: The problem with most controversial figures is that they lack the right connections. That is not a problem for me.

Kyon: And it's okay if people... I don't know. What happens if someone imitates you?

Yuki: My connections can authenticate my work, so that isn't a problem.

Kyon: What if someone decides to hold some innocent people hostage?

Yuki: I would give them what they demanded and then decide how to deal with them later.

Kyon: You've really thought this through, haven't you?

Yuki: I have a lot of experience in this line of work.

Kyon: So, why keep it secret from me?

Yuki: That was at Asakura's request.

Kyon: Really?

Yuki: She worried that you might switch to using me as a proxy, had you discovered me too soon.

Kyon: Oh, the deity thing. That's just confusing.

Yuki: It did challenge my perspective, which was a good thing.

Kyon: So, it all worked out?

Yuki: That's right.

- x -

- The Renaming

In front of the cafe. Kyon is sitting at an outside table with his sister, Yuki, Haruhi, and Koizumi.

Haruhi: I don't get it. You used the name "Kyon" on this autobiography?

Kyon: You started it.

Haruhi: I was joking.

Kyon: And anyway, it's an inside joke. I explain it in the narrative.

Koizumi: Who came up with that name, anyway?

Kyon: Sister did, isn't that right?

Sister: Actually, that's not his real nickname.

Koizumi: It isn't?

Sister: (giggling) You never told anyone?

Kyon: Are you referring to...?

Yuki: ...

Haruhi: Hold on a sec. Yuki told me it was definitely "Kyon."

Yuki: I have no knowledge of any other diminutive.

Haruhi: So, what is it?

Kyon: Whoa! Do not tell them what I think you're about to say!

Sister: (laughing) What are you so ashamed of?

Kyon: That isn't the kind of thing you just blurt out.

Sister: Sheesh.

Koizumi: Oh, come on. How bad could it be?

Kyon: ...

Sister: I'll whisper it to you.

Sister whispers to Haruhi.

Haruhi: "Kyo-chan?"

Kyon: Oh God...

Koizumi: (laughing)

Haruhi: Hmm... That's actually much better. I think I'll use that, from now on. Oh, Kyo-chan?

Kyon: Please... I'm begging you...

Haruhi: All right. All right. I'll stick with Kyon.

Kyon: That's not my name, either.

Haruhi: So, do you...?

Kyon: (exasperated) You know what? Forget it. Just call me what you want.

Haruhi: Thanks, Kyo-chan.

Kyon: (sigh)

- x -

- The Naming

In front of the cafe. Kyon is sitting at an outside table with Yuki, Haruhi, and Koizumi.

Koizumi: So, does this sixth character have a name?

Kyon: Yeah, I'm going with "Megumi Kosaka."

Koizumi: ...

Haruhi: You know, I've been meaning to tell you something.

Kyon: What?

Haruhi: The names you come up with are a little...

Kyon: What?

Koizumi: I think she's trying to say that your names are a little too bland and ordinary.

Haruhi: Yeah.

Koizumi: I completely understand, though.

Haruhi: Not everyone has a talent for names. And that's okay.

Kyon: ...

Haruhi: (laughing)

- x -

- A word from a couple of my imaginary friends

Proofreader: When was the last time you read a review?

Author: When did we write those shorts?

Proofreader: Over two years ago.

Author: Okay, there you go.

Proofreader: Well, how about we dive in?

Author: ...

Proofreader: Yes, I know how much you love this part.

Author: In the immortal words of Takami Akai, reading fan reviews is like putting your face in someone's ass and inhaling deeply.

Proofreader: Ah, the obligatory Gurren Lagann reference.

Author: Okay, yes. I could stand to be a little nicer about it.

Proofreader: Well, let's see... I'll spare you the details, but there seems to be a consensus about your "crazy" dialogue...

Author: Mission accomplished!

Proofreader: ...and my apparent inability to structure these ideas in a coherent enough way for our readers.

Author: We need to do a Cliff's Notes version?

Proofreader: Err, right. I guess. Anyway, that's what it comes down to, I think.

Author: Oh, well. That's good. And, actually, I agree. Sounds about right.

Proofreader: All right. I think we're done with that part.

Author: That was quick.

Proofreader: I think it's time we finally give credit where it's due.

Author: Finally!

Proofreader: Where to start...

Author: I'd like to thank Shimoku Kio for his brilliant "Genshiken." That was a huge influence on this work.

Proofreader: Ryukishi07 for his unforgettable "Higurashi no Naku Koro ni."

Author: That's a favorite of mine.

Proofreader: Tahiko Kimura for "Seto no Hanayome," which proves you can mesh romance and zany comedy in anime.

Author: The lighter side of yakuza mermaids.

Proofreader: Everyone at Gainax, Madhouse, and Ghibli studios for consistently producing such high quality work.

Author: And that's just our Japanese influences.

Proofreader: Don't even get me started on all the French, British, and American influences.

Author: Not to mention all the Spanish, German, Italian, and many other artists we enjoy.

Proofreader: I'm not sure it's really possible to credit everyone who was responsible for all this stuff we wrote.

Author: I'll just start by thanking Cat Stevens, Moody Blues, Genesis, Sammy Hagar, Alan Parsons, Joe Satriani, Jim Morrison, Queen, Def Leppard, and Pink Floyd.

Proofreader: We like lots of other bands, but I think you especially like those.

Author: I find myself listening to those guys a lot.

Proofreader: I think that about covers all the requisite fanboy raving we wanted to do.

Author: I should mention that "Improvised High School" is in the works, but I don't think I'll have that finished any time soon. Maybe in a year or two.

Proofreader: If all goes well, you mean.

Author: Yeah.

Proofreader: Well, that's a wrap till then.

Author: Later.

- x -


End file.
